Avoidant Personality Disorder, Borderline, & Unstable Emotions | AvPD vs. BPD
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- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2019
- This video answers to questions: What is the difference between avoidant personality disorder and borderline personality disorder? Is affective instability (emotional dysregulation) a feature of both avoidant personality disorder and borderline personality disorder?
Snir, A., Bar-Kalifa, E., Berenson, K. R., Downey, G., & Rafaeli, E. (2017). Affective instability as a clinical feature of avoidant personality disorder. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 8(4), 389-395.
Havranek, M. M., Volkart, F., Bolliger, B., Roos, S., Buschner, M., Mansour, R., … Ruch, W. (2017). The fear of being laughed at as additional diagnostic criterion in social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder? PLoS ONE, 12(11).
Eikenæs, I., Pedersen, G., & Wilberg, T. (2016). Attachment styles in patients with avoidant personality disorder compared with social phobia. Psychology & Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 89(3), 245-260.
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My observation it is this: people with social anxiety distorter are afraid of asking a girl out because they're afraid that she's say no but people with avoidant personality disorder are afraid to ask a girl out because she might say "yes".
😃👍
I think that’s right. Avoidants to me fear everything, including success. Maybe it’s the fear of possible failure later on down the road that is terrifying.... with success comes more possibility of later, even bigger failure and that’s what they are always avoiding - failure or the potential to fail.
Nail on the head
I will panic trying to think of what to do. It's so incredibly rare to get a chance to spend time with a girl I'm afraid to bungle it and lose the chance. Hugs
Spot on 🙏🏻
Wish I knew what a healthy personality looked like. Not just some idealistic view but a practical workable healthy personality. Could you talk about that sometime?
A healthy personality is the secure attachment
Personality is a set of emotional and behavioral reactions to context. It's a negotiation between your needs as a person and life. A healthy personality is a set of emotions and behaviors that enables you to meet your needs while also meeting the needs of others. Basically a win-win negotiation between your needs and the needs of everyone else. That's why emotions that are inappropriately strong and incapacitate you in a given context will undermine your adaptation, whereas emotions that are too shallow also prevent you from connecting with others and being integrated in society. Since emotions and mental states give rise to behavior, emotions that are too strong, too shallow, or outright wrong for the context will create unusual behavior. A healthy personality is a set of emotional and mental states that naturally give rise to appropriate behaviors for each context (healthy personality is flexible). Personality disorders usually come from adaptation to a context that is carried over to the wrong context. For instance, the instinct to grey rock to avoid narcissistic abuse (grey rocking for a narcissist is indeed a good strategy) will become deep rooted and later on give rise to the inability to maintain social relations, like in AvPD.
Attachment styles are part of personality, namely the part that handles emotions and behaviors in close relationships (friends, relatives, romantic relationships).
You do realize that using the word idealistic contradicts the first statement you made... I think you meant perfectionistic. Ideals are things like drinking water. Perfectionism sounds more like what you probably meant to communicate. Perfection is an unobtainable opinion. 🧩🧘
Thank you, that is a great idea. I hope this is picked up as a series.
Wish I knew what one felt like
I am diagnosed with both BPD and AvPD. And I think the reason why BPD is more talked about is because the symptoms tend to be more obvious to the environment. Relationships, self-harm, impulsiveness are all things that can be observed by others. While the self-doubt and avoiding in AvPD is much more an internal battle.
I think so too, but it might also be because, at least from what I've read (correct me if I'm wrong, though!) AvPD is a more recent find than BPD and I've also read (again: correct me if I'm wrong!) that not all psychiatrists think there's a difference between SAD and AvPD, even though there is.
I also was diagnosed with both, high five
Excellent point
The biggest difference between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder is that SA is situational and AvPD is not. It's hard to explain unless you unfortunately have the PD. But like the Doctor said, there is no break, no release, no calm state for those with AvPD.
Dr Grande, would you be willing to make a video about this? I don't really know too much about the differences between these disorders
Great explanation
I was wondering that! Great comment.
@@ashlikefrompokemon4327 Dr. Grande has already done a video about this. Go to the search sector of RUclips and type in "Avoidant Personality Disorder versus Social Anxiety Dr. Grande" and you will find that video. Good luck 👍
@@pocoeagle2 thank you! 😊
As a person living with AvPD, I do unknowingly suppress my negative emotions, especially anger and sadness. Though I live with depression for years, I don’t actually feel sadness. It’s just emptiness, pointlessness and some intrusive suicidal thoughts. I also rarely get angry; just a little bit annoyed and that’s all. Disgust may occur from time to time, but not by default. It has to reach a certain point that I start to feel disgust about something.
I've traditionally been diagnosed as “quiet BPD” or “major depression with BPD traits,” but now I'm wondering if I'm primarily AvPD with BPD traits. I have outbursts sometimes, but I identify far more with AvPD symptoms and beliefs.
Ever since I was a kid, I've felt like an outsider. An echoing thought through my life has been that I feel like I'm not even a person. It's so easy to feel like life is impossible and that it's better for everyone if I'm not around.
@Dustin Void Damn the last part hit home
I think AvPD is a subset of BPD known as quiet BPD. (BPD traits manifest differently due to inborn temperament etc..)
I'm new to all of this. Before COV I didn't have social anxiety now I hate leaving the house. I take care of my mom who has major health problems and I'm healthy physically but it's my mental health that is a mess. I've told her a 1,000 times I hate going outside but every time she wants me to go run an errand for her she pretends like we have never had the conversation. Now listening to Doc talking about how it comes from neglect and abuse it makes sense. I remember when I was a senior we had 2 break up into pairs and of course I was the only one who didn't have a partner. It was 20 years ago and the humiliation and pain is still there. Ugh thank God I found this page.
@@gadefox I have the opposite feeling: "Quiet BPD" is always AvPD, mistaken for BPD. CPTSD causes PDs, so there will be overlap by nature. Doesn't mean we should erase whole disorder classifications.
Life’s a torture for those with avpd, you are dying slowly as you waste your life away.
Thank you. As someone that has been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder, it's strange to hear someone say almost exactly in some ways to what I've been feeling but didn't seem to get out or get someone to understand. When it comes to the diagnosis, I originally lived in the US and moved to Norway. Here, I have a lot more help with my mental issues and recovery where in where I lived in the US, many were overlooked because of how much help ( and money ) was needed and more doctors seemed fond of putting people on meds first before trying some things out to see what our behavior is beforehand. It's been a tough situation all around. My diagnosis was first, as you said, pretty much a general anxiety disorder until they could keep testing until they could find things they couldn't explain with just that diagnosis before trying anything on the level of AvPD. They came to a point where they think it's AvPD but I have some symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder, which they thought was strange. It wasn't enough symptoms to say it was DID but it wasn't all just AvPD ( a main big thing from it I have being the mental fugue ). So far, treatments for AvPD are still working so unless it comes to a point where it doesn't anymore, they said it's best to stick with it.
There are things that could've been done when I was younger if I was given the help but since it wasn't, I 'am' stuck on taking anti-depressants the rest of my life ( these ones are more towards treating the anxiety part of it ). I still have from one to two Psychiatric Nurses that visit me once a week every two weeks to check on me and to get me out of the house a while so I don't have excuses to hide.
So do you have Avpd or DID or both? I'm not clear from your statements above
And are you feeling better now?
I just want to know if there is hope.
have you considered PTSD?
@@amyroberto4027 It's part of it. I do have PTSD but it isn't exactly part of what caused the bigger issue. It is something I've had to deal with since being abused as a child.
@@jenniferhill8776 AVPD in general ( from how they've changed the thoughts on it over time ). I just also happen to have a couple things that usually are only found in DID. They said it doesn't seem too common around here but for my situation it makes sense.
Great video. I would love to see more AvPD topics.
yesss please
There’s so little attention paid to AvPD that I only learned of it fairly recently. All my life I’d ask myself, “What’s wrong with me??” (And I’m the child of a psychiatric nurse, no less.) I always felt I must have been physically abused as a child to be this way, but had no real memory of it. I’m discerning now that it must have been the neglect, abandonment, & an emotionally frightening home life, which I certainly experienced. At any rate, I grew up hearing all the critical stories of borderline patients, but I never knew of AVPD. I appreciate your factual representations of the PDs - I watch videos by other professionals of the field and often go away feeling I’ve been kind of judged. The comment sections are really, really bad concerning avoidants, but you seem to have serious commenters.
my therapist thought i had bpd but it turned out to be avpd, with emotionally instable personality traits, top It off with ADD and depression and you have my life. Im living in av dyspforic nightmare. But with avpd and bpd I cannot really tell them apart from my experience. Thank you so much for sharing important insight Dr. Grande!
I want to receive an official diagnosis but i have all the symptoms of AVPD. My old therapist never mentioned it to me, which kind of sucks because I believed I was the only person who felt this way. Im gonna try to get new treatment
@@Mo-mc3mw Yeah, you have to kind of advocate for yourself, which people with AvPD rarely do. Many professionals have the mistaken idea that people with AvPD NEVER get help, which is wrong. It's just harder for sufferers and takes more life events to trigger it.
Thank you for this video. I have a friend with APD, and I have often wondered if she may have BPD as well. The parallels you've drawn make sense, and validates how difficult APD can be. Understanding all this helps me cope with her long periods of retreat, resistance to talk therapy and unpredictable moods. I really wish healing for her.
You sound like a wonderful friend. I wish for everyone struggling with AvPD to have friends like you! It's such an isolating disorder to have, and it warms my neurotic little heart that someone would take the time to understand it for a friend.
@@EH012 Thank you for the kind words. I try to understand because I love her, and know what it's like to battle mental health issues. She actually reached out today after several months of silence! Sending good vibes your way :) .
I have avpd with cptsd they look like bpd tho but the difference bpd act out their feelings while avpd not we are hypersensitive and fear of rejection judgment and criticism is enormous
@@EH012 I was gonna comment the same thing.. I wish I had a friend like her instead of just people judging me all around and making me feel worse.
AvPD, not APD. APD is Auditory Processing Disorder. It's very touching that you care about your friend so much, though. Thank you.
There is an overlap in criteria. Perhaps the dynamic you witnessed represents a distinguishing feature. I rarely come across an article addressing AvPD issues, which points to the dearth of research about this disorder. This was really enlightening.
Completely agree.
Please do a more in depth video about APD. Especially the difference between APD and Social Anxiety, going through the characteristics/symptoms of each. This would be so helpful! Love the channel!
It all goes hand an hand with av cptsd bpd
Although I have not been diagnosed, I identify with both. It's easy to think that APD would take 2nd place as far as severity of symptoms goes, but the reality is that APD really can't be dismissed so quickly. During my lifetime its effects have been severe. It's really a terrible place for a human being to be (the need to be close to people, yet being able unable to).
This is the video I've needed to see. I was recently diagnosed with APD...but for about 2 years before this diagnosis I thought I possibly had BPD based on my research. This video hits the nail on the head (for me) whereas I self harm, multiple suicide attempts, extreme feelings of emptiness, lack of empathy substance abuse, huge fear of abandonment (yet a fear of intimacy at the same time) I have VERY low self esteem. Very very similar from my personal experience Dr. this video clarified so much for me, thank you! 🙏🏻
I am also diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety, Major Depressive Disorder, and Bipolar 2 disorder....I fits of random anger that I can't really explain, I feel very DEEPLY misunderstood and or looked at differently....I was involved in a house fire where I suffered 3rd degree burns, I was involved in a shooting which resulted in my brother being shot in front of me, I was SEVERELY picked on by my father and brother starting at a very young age and continuing well into my teenage years, that's where I began to drink and drug to feel more sociable, more safe, less anxious, more confident, which spun out of control for 20+ years.....I'm so glad to have found your page, I've studied mental health on my own many years ago in attempt to figure out what was "wrong" with me. My father was EXTREMELY emotionally distant...never checked on me when I was sick, never really talked to me unless out of anger and was physically and very emotionally abusive. Your videos help me understand it all so much better!
The symptoms you're talking about sound like BPD, not AvPD. Like, that's textbook BPD stuff right there. Men are often misdiagnosed with other disorders because doctors think of BPD as "female/emotional", and the reverse for autism because it's "male/logical." Which is insane, but it's the reality of gender bias, particularly in America. Could just be comorbid disorders resembling BPD, but I would strongly suspect BPD here, and twice as much because your research told you BPD. The "fits of random anger" track with BPD's effects on the amygdala; triggers can cause that overactive fight mechanism in the brain to activate when it's not actually productive or helpful to you.
Any research on those of us with ADHD and Avoidant Personality Disorder? There seem to be some overlap when it comes to the rejection sensitivity piece. Which, has become such an insurmountable hurdle in my life with dating/relationships.
I always felt the similarities because of the emotional instability.
Sometimes I felt they are pretty much the same.
Thank you for clearing that up!
Thank you, this video was very helpful for me. I have long worried I might have bpd tendencies, but the description of apd actually fits much better for me. I have been to counseling, but never made it past the first few sessions because I was too anxious to keep going. Again, thank you!
Ditto for me. I've never been diagnosed but suspect that I suffer from APD. The good Doc is right though that affective instability and emotional withdrawal, identity disturbances, chronic feelings of emptiness and low self worth are salient features of both disorders.
Stay hopeful! I've suppressed myself through childhood and had just awful times, but over the last seven years, things have gotten better and better. I had a whole array of personality disorders, plus depression multiple times. AvPD is hard, but it's not hopeless! Hold your own hand through it. You deserve it, and it's worth the effort. You'll find one can be tehir own best friend :) You're not the only one, and you're braver than you know for living through everything you have!
My most well respected, and admired RUclips person. So much so, that I am sure to let your videos play without skipping any ads, to be sure that you receive every credit available to your channel.
Much appreciation! 👍
I expected that story about the group to end the way it did.
Not everyone with BPD blames others. I used to do that, but I fully accept responsibility for what the disorder causes. It just depends on where the person is with treatment. It's hard for anyone to accept fault, especially if you have serious problems. Also, please don't forget that people with BPD are often victims of bad trauma. It doesn't excuse stuff, but it isn't that they just want to inflict stuff. It's actually opposite, but our upbringings determine the foundation for a lot.
@@sweetluvgurl Fair point, but you seem to be inadvertently proving the point you're arguing against as well.
@@sarahliz1737 I'm not sure how. I said I acknowledge my role. Just because I feel a certain way, because I know what it's like to experience it first-hand, doesn't mean I was disregarding what I said in the first part.
It isn't just a one-sided thing (just like most things in life). There are a lot of variables, and it's complex.
It's like if anyone tries to get any type of understanding in different situations, they're "making excuses" or "defending behaviors."
The fact of the matter is a lot of what we grow up around does determine a lot. In BPD, there are a lot of twisted things that can happen to turn the person into that. It takes a lot of work to try to undo that, because it's so engrained. The behaviors aren't intentional, and a lot of people with BPD hate themselves for how they are and have a lot of guilt and shame.
There are a lot of misconceptions about BPD. I see why people feel how they do about it with different things, but I'm also trying to kind of explain the other side, and it isn't what people always think. People tend to assume things about things they don't understand.
Alisha I appreciate your perspective a lot as someone who deals with mental illness. It can be difficult to explain to others in a way they understand.
What I meant was, from my perspective, is that those diagnosed with BPD often feel more victimized than the average person. I went to a dual diagnosis rehab where everyone had multiple diagnoses, but the BPD patients were sure they had it worse than everyone else there.
Like you said, it’s about where people are in recovery, but my take was that Dr. Grande was speaking about BPD patients who were early in their treatment, and my experience is that they do tend to feel victimized and like they need more attention than other patients.
Me too.
Smooth earthly differentiation between APD and BPD doctor, with AvPD making up some of the numbers 🙏
Good video man, I always learn something new when watching your stuff.
Dear Dr. Grande, it is very kind of you, that and how you made this video. Look how peaceful, friendly, polite, receptible and thankful your commenting subscribers beneath this video are - and compare it to, lets say, the comments to your videos about are very trendy disorder of our time.
Isn't this a treat?( I'm trying so hard to lure him into doing more of this kind, look how extremely subtle I am in doing this 😉 Hope it works anyway... ) I wish you a wonderful day, hugs!
I WAS LITERALLY JUST WATCHING A RELATABLE VIDEO OF YOURS FROM 2018 (different setup and all) AND NOW THIS CAME UP! Amazing! 😁😁😁😍😍😍🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Thanks for the video, Dr. Grande. I too would love more AvPD content.
The video motivated me to write down some of my avoidant past (and to an extent present).
I wasn't aware of it at the time but much of the personality I used to show to the outside world was designed to shield myself from any possible sources of rejection, criticism, etc. I only felt safe when I was sure that no one would see through me and discover what a pathetic and worthless man I thought I was. I had to avoid "getting found out" at all cost. Since childhood I talked to no one about how I really felt. It just would have been to painful and embarrassing. I had to keep everyone at a distance. I had a pretty distanced relationship to myself actually. I couldn't bear thinking about my future because I "knew" it consisted only of pain and misery. I knew I would pay dearly one day. I knew I was only postponing the inescapable, unavoidable tragedy that awaited me. One day I would have to face the truth and that would be my end.
My only friend was my cousin who lived in a completely different city and who I would see about 5 times a year. People wanted to get to know me, women took interest in me, etc, but I couldn't handle it. I didn't go to the dentist for about 10 years because I was too afraid and embarrassed to go there again after I once missed an appointment. Once my dental health deteriorated I thought about going to a different dentist but I was too embarrassed to let anyone see my bad teeth. I did not actually not go to any type doctor for a stretch of about 10 years. For years, I was convinced I had a skin disease but again, I was too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone (it was actually just bad hygiene...smh). I thought about what would happen if I got seriously ill and just "having" to die instead of going to the doctor was a serious consideration.
I finished an expensive 2 year training to become an interpreter as the best of my class but did not once apply for a job as an interpreter because the feelings of anxiousness and stress that overcame me when I was browsing through job openings was just too much for me. I could have asked the head of our school for help finding a job but I was too embarrassed to ask.
I have started therapy and am in a much better place now. I could not have imagined it but it is possible to learn to feel better about myself. It takes a lot of time and work but it is possible and it is worth it. I have accepted my past and even though I am still doubtful in some ways I at least know that a happy life with good relationships is absolutely possible for me if I continue to work on feeling better about myself and opening up to others.
Glad to hear all this, had thought about it and other disorders, in fact being in treatment for BPD seems to catch a lot from every cluster here and there and makes sense why I believe, we are emotionally very small children and all the traits that show up in other clusters, and yes NPD and BPD are intolerant of criticism so there is that too. Avoiding or anxiety socially , awkard, suspicious, distrust, etc are common. Someone once said if CPTSD was keyed into the DSM would be reduced from a book to a pamplet lol.... too simple but there is a common denominator across several different disorders, I've often thought. Which the Dr does address here, but I just don't think the diverse reflections are that "surprising".... Very glad to hear this addressed and compared for sure!!!
I have a question for you Dr. Grande: Is there value in getting a personality disorder test done to confirm something like APD or BPD if the treatment path is generally the same regardless? It seems like no matter what mental health diagnosis one gets (I usually get major depressive disorder and social anxiety, but have never been tested for other personality disorders), the treatment is the same: some combination of an SSRI and some type of talk therapy, psychotherapy, CBT, DBT, whatever.
Impressed to see you risk it, but loved your antidotal story near the video end, of the unexpected during a group session. Couldn’t help but smile.
Anecdotal
Holy shit, thank you so much for existing. I cant even tell you how much your videos help me demystify myself.
Dr. Grande, I have recently come to know someone with (as he puts it) borderline schizophrenia and some ptsd. It's a bit difficult for me to grasp all of that at once... I would wholeheartedly appreciate if you could find the time to consider talking about this in the future.
Also, thank you for this video. Your content never disappoints.
I don’t know where you are from, but wondering if you know any doctors, like you, in Suffolk County NY.
I suffer things, but had excellent coping skills. Then had a car accident, suffer a tbi & post concussion syndrome, which has disregulated my coping skills, loss of some now-time memory, supper sensitive to light & sound. Also dealing with neck injury, chronic pain & radiculapathy ... the PCS has overlapping symptoms to some of these disorders. Never heard of the term AvPD , but I am suffering CPTSD (multiple&childhood trauma), anxiety, agoraphobia, depression, been isolating to relieve symptoms. But I’m unhappy being isolated. Can’t find the right doctor here. Tried many. Was hoping you could refer or recommend one. Having a hard time managing since the accident. Thank you for making these videos , many of them are helpful :)
The more I hear/read about avoidant personality disorder, the more I’m convinced I have it.
Safety in social situations... Interesting! Would love to hear more about that.. Without it increase of cortisol.. Cause obsession, anxiety etc. Happy Learning!
I have been diagnosed with borderline PD , MDD, (plus social phobia in the past, but panic attacks are now very rare), Never have I been diagnosed with avoidant PD, yet, my fear of abandonment (by the few friends and family I have relationships with) I would only rate at about 15% ; yet, my fear of being rejected by new people I meet dominates every domain of my life, such that I am nearly fifty and never married, plus I deliberately chose a solitary occupation.
My symptom cluster is looking more and more like avoidant PD, now that we can understand Affective Dysregulation as core, especially in relation to the Suppress and Rebound Effect.
Knowing that the definition is existent and understandable is comforting. Mental illness alone just doesn’t help. Also I like when u explain how personality traits can be different that just mental illnesses.
Dr. Grande, you helped me with my 4th of July event, to get thru, Now, Tomorrow night I'm having a lifetime first, where a comedy podcast I cowrote is being staged as a live theatrical production! and as part of an annual sketch theater competition in San Francisco. WOW. And I'm being pressed all, coping getting through it all and navigating personalities and a tribe I'll never be part of though we've supposedly been friends for years and years. First thing I did when I found out my cowriter had submitted it and the sketch was in the festival was get a mentor! Accomplished playwright to be awkward to; we had a beer, and we had a series of texts, and we had a 45 minute phone call. And I've been watching your videos. And etc "modeling secure attachment style". At least a few times I've been much better confronting irrational or proto-paranoid thinking, better at taking myself in hand a la Recovery Mum gems in the talks the two have had. I am feeling / thinking / going pretty good! I just thought, Dr. Grande will want to know a cool thing. : ))
Great video. It really highlight nuances that we don't get from simple summaries of symptoms.
Heyyy, I have AvPD! Or I did, last I checked. Maybe not anymore, fingers crossed!
Thank you for these videos, Dr Grande. Thee's so little known about these topics, especially in India, where mental health is, unfortunately, very much an underdiagnosed and undertreated field of medicine. These videos have helped a lot with keeping up with newer developments.
Maybe not anymore? How did that change come about?
Hi Grande apologies if I've neglected you recently haven't been very well. Listened to this post many times. Very interesting-complex. Well explained. Thanks 👍
From what I've observed, BPD lacks empathy to a greater extent, more likely to think it's ok for them to treat other people badly because they're suffering (entitled - put self first) while those with AvPD might in effect act similarly, they won't think it's ok and take it as evidence that they're bad and also for that reason they'll often choose to avoid people because they put others first and want to avoid hurting them. BPD: also things like depersonalization and vilitication to justify to themselves why they use somebody / treat them badly or simply to shut out any guilt they might otherwise feel for doing so. People with BPD can therefore be less responsive when you let them know they might have hurt somebody and when they react emotionally it will more likely be because of reasons related to themselves while those with AvPD are likely to struggle with the fact that the other person is hurting. BPD predominantly puts self first, AvPD predominantly puts others first (even though it might not always look like that from the outside).
AvPD vs social anxiety: people with AvPD aren't necessarily afraid of talking to people and might be able to talk to people in a functional way, whereas people with social anxiety will be inhibited. In personal relationships people with social anxiety will often have reduced anxiety as they get to know people while those with AvPD will oftentimes (though not always) have increased anxiety on repeated interaction, hence avoiding it. AvPD is likely to more strongly avoid non-personal types of contact initially but might in some cases not have any issues at all with repeated non-personal interactions. Thus those with AvPD will sometimes purposely keep relations non-personal as they cannot deal with personal ones and appear very functional in those non-personal relations. Therefore somebody with social anxiety on the outside will sometimes appear less functional than somebody with AvPD but if you'd take a closer look you might notice that the person with AvPD is indeed better at (non-personal) interactions but is a complete disaster when it comes to personal relations.
Regardless of the scientific backings that might be or (yet) not, I applaud your observational skills. Go on, free thinker.
Is vilitication the correct word or villification? Or victimization? thanks
@Number 2 If they have high empathy they in my opinion are a misdiagnosed cluster C (which probably happens very often). I've seen BPD where the person probably used to be highly emphatic once, but whose emotions have led her to completely shut out other people emotionally to the point where she in effect acted with little empathy (and she seemed to not realize it herself nor want to see it). Not because that's what she wanted to do, but that was her way to survive emotionally as she simply couldn't handle the realizations that come with it. Trying to change that pretty much wasn't an option either because it hurt her so much that there's little doubt on my mind that she'd likely try to commit suicide. Cluster B in my view is equal to cluster C but with "extra's", as cluster C are people whose views generally depart from "other people", they put others first while cluster B is self-centered. For example, people with NPD also have strong cluster C symptoms. The focus on the self of cluster B can also mask or eliminate some of the cluster C symptoms they'd have if they weren't focused on themselves. The maliciousness that is common in cluster B purely rises from the fact that they're self-centered without necessarily having the intent/goal to hurt. As a consequence, in my opinion every cluster C PD has a cluster B equivalent. Even though those might not be able to match perfectly with the categorizations as they are now. But basically: dependent -> histrionic, AvPD -> NPD and BPD. Essentially the differences between PDs are scales and when going between cluster B and C, in my opinion, that scale is focus on self vs focus on others. Hence I also believe that people can transition between cluster B and C as their focus changes.
BPD people can appear to put others first and speak/act as though they put others first. But on closer inspection they often have reasons relating to themselves. It can be very difficult to distinguish between the two. As cluster B people are often eager to present it as though they're focused on other people while they actually have selfish reasons. They seek to achieve a type of selfish gain. While cluster C people, like those with AvPD, their fears might cause them to understate how they acted in favor of others and overstate their selfish reasons as they might feel guilty for even thinking about their own gain. They seek to achieve a type of gain for somebody else and feel bad about potentially thinking about themselves too.
For example, I've seen somebody with BPD do something really nice for somebody and complimented her for it. At first it looked like she was focused on the other person and genuinely wanted to help that person. But ultimately after a while, she ended up mainly expressing herself negatively about that person and it came to light her intent wasn't focused on helping that person but she wanted to train how she interacts with other people. She basically didn't really care about that other person at all in any kind of way, she just cared about the gain she wanted for herself, the help she gave him was to achieve her own gain.
You could also call it conditional vs unconditional. BPD is more conditional while AvPD is unconditional. Conditional for BPD because if there's no gain for themselves, they're not likely to do something. While AvPD will likely do just about anything if it helps somebody even if it hurts themselves / is negative for their own gain.
And as stated, this is a scale, not a binary choice between focus on self vs focus on others. Thus people can lie on various positions between the two and it might also shift over time.
Quite honestly there is so much overlap between many of these mental health disorders that I wonder if there is even a point to try to figure out what a person has? Unstable relationships, difficulty perceiving reality vs what's in your head, low self worth, poor performance, sensitivity to criticism, avoidance. I think it's the symptoms we should focus on rather than the diagnosis. Through connecting with God, CBT and perhaps medication to treat underlying depression as a result of these PDs we can improve ourselves.
I very much agree with this analysis (as far as all observations covered on AvPD). I live with AvPD and I can do bullshit small talk, it still is personally stressful but I can do it and don't have to worry about going out and having to be forced into a chit chat with some stranger. The real issue lies in having to see people repeatedly, especially if there is no emotional investment for me in my end. I've ended up ghosting all family members but my immediate family because those interactions where I have to face people that may ask personal questions or opinions on how and why kind of stuff regarding myself is extremely stressful. With a stranger if they ask me any of these sort of "pressing" questions I can just make some shit up and call it good because they would have no reason to question it. You can always leave stranger situations and likely not see them again. Not the same for family or acquaintances. Its ripped the core of relationship building out of my life. Overtime I've seen myself rationalizing the sentiment of not needing close relationships but rather to be an observer of the world and to focus on myself and my interests. I still feel guilty for what I have done to have to protect myself from imploding emotionally. But I also believe by removing the people from my life that I have, that I am doing us a mutual favor and I don't add much to anyones life by being myself at least emotion/relationship wise, maybe I can provide some insight on experience or something. But other than that personal relationships are just something I don't touch.
Yes! Really needed insight on this.. thank you.
Hi, I’m sure you’ve heard it all. Due to the amount of information you’ve gathered through school, in practice & online, I thought, maybe you could shed some light. I have a case that no one has been able to explain to me. It sounds completely far fetched. In not wanting to post my whole situation, I’ll give a few details. I had bpd for years, and probably some sociopathic tendencies. I developed cancer 4 years ago. During treatment, I encountered chemo brain, most likely frontal lobe damage, dx by a top neuro-psychologist. It wasn’t overnight, as the condition worsened, I would get lost driving in my own neighborhood. 2-3 years later, when I started to retain short term memory again. Everything I had done that could have emotionally hurt someone came back to haunt me to no end. I became depressed & secluded. I know it took time, but my college age kids, who I could see were waiting for the shoe to drop, but it never did, I know I was an emotional wreck when my 23 year old was younger, my 12 year old never hears my even raise my voice, it’s like they had 2 different mothers. Friends say I’m a completely different person. I used to wish I could go back, I thought it was so much easier lacking a conscious, compartmentalizing everything. Sorry this was long. Why did frontal lobe damage change my personality not such a drastic way? Thank you!
Thank you for replying. That’s a very interesting situation. I went from needing a love interest in my love, to stopped dating for 3 years. Before, I remember feeling like I had this way, almost like I was charming and drew men in, to ( and I admit it’s probably not healthy) but avoiding dating because of that fear of what I put men though, at the time, it’s tough to describe, it was almost like a game, my goal seemed to be that, and the word often used , was that I was there heroine, I knew what to say and how to say it. If you’ve ever heard the spider and the fly, I was certainly the spider. Before I didn’t care, but the last few years, I still remember that abandonment caused solely by me and how the emotional feeling during that alternate part of the disorder was tremendously painful. I have since been so worried about how I hurt people and how I was hurt, I have found, it’s better to stay single, even tho before it was almost like a game, I don’t know where my triggers lie, or if it will come back. So I don’t risk it.
@M Z Do you have a link to this? Seems too incredible to be true
Thank you. I would love to see a video on C-PTSD vs BPD. It seems like there would be a lot of overlap, there.
Dear doctor Grande,
Thanks you for the comparison. According to my ex-girlfriend she was diagonized with AvPD (and eating disorders, disabeled at 33 years of age). Myself I thought of BPD and covert NDP. Now I am confused again, because of the fear of abandonment you mentioned, which she expressed.
But in the end the label does not matter. You really cannot live happily with either kind. Love's labour lost ... .
Kind regards from The Netherlands,
Jan
Great show! An interesting way to differentiate the two disorders. Wonders how they develop in a personality and which disorder is more prevalent in society and how to treat and hopefully cure said disabilities?
Hahaha ...I love it that you're selling merch. I mean, why not, but it's amusing to me that a doctor would also be selling a line of hoodies etc. Love your videos btw.
Much more interesting than I thought it would be..
Dr. Grande, are you excepting new patients?
Im struggling to find a qualified provider.
I have insurance , (i cant imagine how hard this would be without it.)
Unfortunately I found after several days of searching and researching for a Qualified Mental Health Care provider it is not easy.
Even when we need help the most there seems to be a criteria you have to meet to receive actual care and a follow up plan of action.
Im trying to figure out a way i can help change this one day.
I really value your videos because they help so many people who are searching for answers. Even though they cant replace therapy they help many.
Thank you again and figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.😊
Dr. Grande can you talk about a memorable moment with a patient that really stands out to you?
I have to say that perhaps people with Avpd ARE socially inept or inexperienced/ less skilled in certain areas (sometimes alot to do with their upbringing/parents) thus a good place to start would be to admit they ARE socially behind/less skilled. Thus, they would need to work on their skills and self image and motivation to work on better social experience.
One time i go to a job trial, looking to switch from the current job, it was my first attempt, i got refused, suddenly i felt drained of every ounce of energy, i felt sudden exhaustion i felt like i would lay down and sleep right there right then, i do have fear of rejection its devastating sometimes, heavy sense of inferiority even tho reality is opposite, im becoming my worst enemy. My situation is miles better than what it used to be a year ago, AvPD lacks world experience and reality never meets theyr self made one. I had a Borderine paranoid mother, and a covert lesser narcissist father that beside bringing money he was never present in my upbringing. They would never hide the fact that they always wished for a daughter instead and when i was mad about that they would just act like im only butthurt. The place where i work now, no matter how bad it is at least teached me alot of things about socialising with different kind of people, from every cluster gaved me the experience i so long needed to calibrate miself. AvPD's cure is careful exposure to outside world, and relearn everything. Oh yea and "mentalising" other people played a huge role in my recovery.
Can you please explain what you mean with mentalising?
Exposure therapy is the best approach to social anxiety from personal experience.
But it can be very draining and exhausting.
@@leandra4078 AvPD does not have a clear image in mind of what other people are, they see others as maybe superior beings, they just dont see them just as people with the same struggles. Once you realise everyone has anxieties, everyone makes an effort every day just talking with someone, nobody is a "natural" you will start to value yourself more
Mentalization can bring me more awareness of my own feelings in social interactions? That's my problem (with AVPD): not feeling in touch with myself, my needs and own feelings and only focusing on the other person (people pleasing, not making them angry, stay calm, say yes when I should say no or I need more time).
Leandra CBT does that too
Very informative. Thank you.
Just a word out, CONGRATS on 305k Subscribers. The ticker just turned over, so I want to congratulate you.
Hmm...Keep them coming, Dr. Grande. 😃☘️👍
21,706 views 🍀👍😅
It would be so cool if you could do an analysis on the “satanic panic” that occurred around the 80s. After watching your west Memphis three video it gave me the idea. I think you’d do a great job
I'm with Naturally Me. More of these videos if you can please. ✊✊
Hi Dr Grande, interesting video and topic. I wonder if there is a considerable co morbidity between BPD and APD. If there is a large basis for these disorders in childhood abandonment and or abuse there could possibly be parts of them within one person. The devaluing and valuing coinciding with avoidance as well. I think it's really sad and anyone's with the courage to face these things is certainly brave. I tend to look a lot at co morbidity because I have found that people are too complicated to be in a fixed rigid place. Again. Thanks so much for the video you teach so much!
I've recently been diagnosed with both BPD and AvPD. At first I found it almost impossible to understand how both of these can co exist in one person.. but they truly do. I feel like AvPD is worse, BPD is dangerous but AvPD holds you back from living life
I have an AV/bpder and a bpder in my life. Phew! They both have continuous negative internal critical dialogues...and move the goal posts around, based on them. It's like being in the eye of a storm. All I can do is pray!. About the only time I get a positive response is when I am very anguished and just plead for some "kindness". The bpder immediately responds and is concerned and complies. The av/bpder stays clammed up, and I suppose proffers "something' which requires exhaustive examination, and that little "utterance" is the best effort at kindness, in a non committal way :(
My partner has no personality disorders, however, ever since her prolonged toxic workplace experience (with a narcissistic boss over 2-4 years, culminating in losing her job entirely as well as developing a chronic lifelong hand injury due to being overworked and unsupported in that job), she has developed Adjustment Disorder (which I kind of view as a branch of PTSD manifesting as a major fear of change, and trouble accepting this new and not ideal reality).
That's her official diagnosis, however I've also noticed that although it's been over a year since she left the job, she still has a LOT of anger towards her ex-boss, blames him for "ruining" her life, is terrified of finding another job, has NO self confidence, doubts every single decision or action she has to make, is INCREDIBLY impacted by others' actions. Mostly strangers. It can ruin her whole day, and then she blames them for wrecking her day.
She doesn't like going out anymore and just wants to stay in her little bubble, safe at home.
She actually does satisfy all the diagnostic criteria for APD. But CAN you develop this at her age of 59? Does she really have this now, or are her feelings, thoughts and behaviours caused entirely by PTSD and severe anxiety?
PTSD causes social withdrawal and fear of new situations. Usually personality disorders are caused during childhood by repeated, long term, intense trauma (including neglect and narcissistic abuse) but it's possible to develop something like AvPD in adulthood (albeit usually from brain damage). In her case, I'm inclined to say PTSD. The most effective treatments are rapid eye movement desensitization, low dose of betablocker, and CBT. But the first step is for the patient to WANT their life to be different (and realize they need to work to achieve that, and that work includes leaving their comfort zone and exposing themselves little by little to new situations).
@@aix83 This is the PERFECT advice, thank you! I fully agree. PTSD and associated anxiety which has now also caused some depression as well. She's actually seeing a therapist and has done the rapid eye movement thing (EMDR?) and some CBT. Unfortunately, in my opinion the sessions are nowhere near frequent enough (once a month). She also still occasionally looks at the Facebook page of her old work and delights in seeing any typos or whatever. Things that have nothing to do with her anymore. She still has anger and resentment. She definitely does want to feel better, but a fairly large part of her blames her ex boss, and yes, fair enough, but it's been over 18 months since she worked there. At some point, the responsibility and control over her feelings and her happiness has to change...I think?
@@ladybaabaa3294 okay so point by point.
18 months isn't a lot to process trauma. For instance I had unprocessed trauma from 2018 spring, and it waxed and waned, then fully resurfaced now, during a similar event. There's no way to hurry through processing trauma because the brain takes however long it pleases to do it, and it can be helped but ultimately the work takes time. It's a type of learning: the brain learns new associations to previously harmful stimuli.
EMDR once a month does seem insufficient. The principle of any desensitization therapy is to expose the patient to the stimulus (real or simulated) frequently enough while showing that there are no bad consequences, so that the brain can re-learn that those triggers are harmless. In EMDR, the therapist talks with the patient about the trauma while guiding their gaze to left and right, and snapping their fingers (causing an unexpected loud noise). In other words, exposing the brain to the unexpected. EMDR can't be attempted on people who are still being traumatized, or abusing substances, or in insecurely attached relationships.
CBT could be done once a month but that's because most of the work is done by the patient. CBT is a set of exercises (verbal, visualization, mentalization, verbalization) the patient practices through their day based on their own therapeutic needs. In CBT, the first sessions would aim to educate the patient and find their needs, then make custom exercises, then apply. Having more frequent CBT sessions mostly helps keep the patient motivated, but doesn't necessarily have more therapy value then less frequent sessions.
If I were you, I'd do more CBT at home. CBT is more complex than EMDR but ultimately easier to DIY because there are more resources available online. The steps in CBT are
1) read on cognitive distortions. Identify her ones.
2) keep in mind that CBT exercises are MADE by the therapist with the client's help. This means you can make your own. For instance, if one of her cognitive distortions is "all bosses are evil", that's hasty generalization. So she needs to read about cognitive distortions, so she can spot when she applies them, then do Socratic questioning "are all bosses indeed bad? How about my ex boss Mark whom I used to get along with really well 3 jobs ago?" Then she can make little mantras that contradict the cognitive distortions and repeat them (verbalize). "Mark was a good guy. I really liked Mark." The mantras work best when phrased in the positive (Mark was good) rather than negative (Mark wasn't bad).
3) desensitization is a process where the patient is exposed to the harmful stimulus in a safe environment (like the therapist's office), so they can learn through practice that the harmful stimulus has no power over them (same principle as in EMDR, except EMDR uses noise and sometimes light to replace the exact stimulus with a more general representation of it). Desensitization is used to great effect in say arachnophobia (show them the spider, then start interacting when they're ready), but usually direct exposure to the stimulus isn't possible. So the therapist may do role play, or for instance show the patient films with the trigger. Even seeing a picture of the person who wronged the patient can work, as long as it happens enough times. (The only warning is that the exposure should never happen as a surprise because the breach of trust can further traumatize the patient. The patient needs to agree with being exposed to the stimulus.) The first times of safe exposure to the stimulus will trigger rage or depression, then the patient is encouraged to interact with the stimulus (tell the picture what they think of the person, or write them a letter that doesn't get sent). For instance watching films of people working in offices may work as a trigger at first, but as she keeps watching them with some frequency, she gets used to them and they won't work as a trigger anymore. Basically you expose the patient to the stimulus until they get bored of it.
There are some pretty good online resources on CBT, like example exercises you can use to make your own. Therapist made exercises aren't fundamentally better as long as you understand the logic behind CBT. Look up exercises online and do them at home. The therapist is only there to guide her anyway, she needs to do the work. It's learning: the brain needs repetition to learn new associations.
Then you say she follows the former employer's page and gloats over mistakes. That's a very good sign. Depression comes with a low drive to do anything, but if she checks commas, it means she takes pleasure in it. She enjoys it. If she can enjoy anything, that's a step to healing (except in this case the page may be a trigger). If she still enjoys that type of activity, why not channel her inner geek into a positive, rewarding pursuit? She can make accounts on a couple of freelancing sites (e.g. Fiverr, Upwork) and offer editing services for a super low fee. This will allow her to land small projects, interact with people without going to an office, and prove herself she still got it. She can for instance offer to proofread for students for $1 per page or something symbolic like that. The point is to expose herself in a therapeutic way to new situations, and derive joy from the work, and reward from interacting with people. Try to spot things she derives joy from, and use them in positive ways. She might even freelance on full fees for a while instead of finding a job if that works.
Great talk...I need to search for the three categories you refer to...🤠
Do you think you could talk about self-destructive behaviors in PTSD? I'm rather curious about that topic. Of course, only if you'd want.
I so second this.. living with PTSD from childhood trauma and also being a recovering addict, there's so many ways you can fuck yourself besides the drugs when you're dealing with that trauma.
That sounds like a great video idea. Dr. Grande is always so thorough and insightful, and I think he could do that topic some justice. :)
That's a really good idea.
Excellent idea..
Black Weirdo CPTSD can result in a hell of a lot of things-AvPD likely included.
ive been "tentatively" diagnosed with both BPD and AVPD. i find i relate more to the avpd citerion than the bpd ones as i dont really experience chaotic interpersonal relationships nor do i have episodes of anger or outbursts against other people. im not very impulsive at all either, in fact i wish i was a little less cautious at times. i feel Very aware of my faults, too aware, and when i feel like other people can see them too i want to run from them. but i also understand the type of codependency that people with BPD have in romantic relationships. if i find A Person that i am able to connect with on a level that doesnt feel threatening to me, in a way that feels natural, i want to be around them very often, especially if theyre my partner. i fear abandonment when i have reason to (like with cheating, or very obvious signs of them pulling away, etc) but at the end of the day the knowledge of my faults lets me be ok with adandoment. i do not go out of my way to stop it from happening (besides maybe explaining anything to them that they mightve misunderstood abt me/my actions) because if someone doesn't want to be arround me i genuinely cant blame them. i am absolutely a negative person with a negtive outlook on life and i dont want to subject anyone to that. if they chose to stay they stay. ive only desperately tried to avoid it once and it was so humiliating, made me feel so pathetic, that i never did it again.
PDs are strange and the overlap between symptoms makes parsing everything out feel impossible. ive stopped treatment due to bad experiences with many therapists. everything always feels so fucking terrifying i feel like i live my life in fear of other people and how they will react to me/treat me. i never expect anything good, so that i will no longer be let down. its not a fun way to live, but its how ive survived. maybe that is more aligned with avpd, im not sure. i dont think i fear intimacy, i want it so badly it hurts. but people are often traitors and liars and so i chose not to engage with too many. i feel i dont understand how they can be so cruel and inconsiderate. so i just stay away. i dont even give them the chance to prove me wrong anymore. unless its very low stakes and i make an effort to keep things shallow. sorry for the long rambling, this video was just very thought provoking
I had a coworker that only lasted 1 month. But that 3 weeks (the forth HR asked her to stay at home due to an investigation bc she called to say something really stupid to the CEO), made our work a hell. We were all friendly, but she brought fights, coworkers crying, she was obsessed that her boss hated her (she just hire you and you believe that?), she didnt care about our feelings, she didn’t want help, she wasn’t flexible, she fought in front of clients and very poor common sense.
She had BPD. I hope she got treatment and help bc being with her was a hell. I can understand if you have a dissorder and you say sorry, but Im not there neither as a counselor while I try to do my job. I did my best, but in some point I decided it was better not to talk to her and also I wouldn’t accept het shouting at my coworkers and friends.
Now make sense when she said “this is my first job” at her 35
I cant believe I had never heard of AvPD before discovering your videos on it a few days ago. I have every single symptom and have been diagnosed with all kinds of mood disorders but never knew AvPD was a thing. It is absolutely insane to hear someone so easily explain my personality that I have struggled to try to explain to people my whole life. Finally some answers.
Hi Dr please could you make a video explaining the differences of DID, CPTSD and BPD. Regarding Dissociation symptoms, PTSD symptoms, emotional regulation. As these diagnosis have great amounts of over lap between the 3 while also being completely separate diagnosis in how the brain with each separate dissorder will be connected.
Been watching your videos and find them interesting. A point: do you consider sleep apnea in your studies? While it is not a psychological disorder, it causes psychological problems. One of the problems is depression for which I was treated and did not help because it was the wrong diagnoses. That is, it was somatopsychic rather than psychological. Sleep apnea is the most underdiagnosed disorder in the US. The BPA recommends that when people seek treatment for depression, they be checked for sleep apnea. The US military designates it as a medical deferment from service. When I enlisted, sleep apnea wasn't even a diagnoses. As one who was born with sleep apnea and have suffered from severe apnea all my life, it wasn't until 12 years ago when it was finally diagnosed that I learned what was affecting my life. Very few options for treatment and I had a uvulvectomy rather than the CPAP. After treatment, learned why I was all way depressed, tired and would nod-off, all ways had a bad night's sleep, all ways under emotional tension and sometimes would display anger which was really my efforts at staying awake. Came to realize the severe problems it caused in my life. A suggestion for your consideration.
This was very interesting for me, as an AvPD who used to date a BPD.
Thanks Dr. Grande. Can you do a video on co-morbidity between NPD/BPD do they both have invalidation/discard phases? Is BPD or APD the one closest to being co-morbid with NPD? For women is NPD more common as a single personality disorder or with o-morbidity? Thanks again for all you do.
Hey dr, i would love it if you do a video about having "'quiet BPD AND AvPD'"
because i"m sure i suffer from almost all their symtoms ..
i have so many questions about the topic, the problem is that there is NO DOCTOR talking about it on RUclips
even psychologie and mental health in general are soo underdevoloped in my country
i'm lost ...
Love ❤️ this video 🔥
I think this may have been MY question, from many months ago! Thank you for putting together such a thoughtful answer and for so much info on AvPD. I have another question, though I think I know the answer to it already... Is there anyone focusing on research and treatment of AvPD the way Marsha Linehan did / does BPD? If (by some miracle) the answer is yes, could you let us know who that might be?
Thank you!
@Dr. Todd Grande
Hi Dr. Grande, I have a question. Is there a connection between gut health and mental health, and how much influence does the microbiome have over mental health? Is there any truth to this claim or is it fictitious, or maybe a bit of both? I would like to hear what your opinion is on this subject. I have heard many claims by various youtubers and naturopaths that an unbalanced gut microbiome can cause disorders such as depression and possibly result in suicidal behavior.
Laura Te Aho-White That’s a really good question! I have an IBD, that’s well controlled and I do eat a microbiome diet.
Laura Te Aho-White I just finished bio psych in school and one of the things the professor said was that our diet is crucial to mental health. For instance there are a great deal of neurotransmitters in our stomach particularly serotonin so.org would lend to reason that the mind body connection is very real. Just thought I would respond it is really intersecting.
there most certainly is, plenty of rigorous science to read on the subject ! google will sort you out
I want to know more about this too. Especially for how it relates to people with severe gut disorders and especially those whom do not have a colon at all, which means they have an even more disadvantage with regards to neurotransmitters and gut flora. No studies have really been done on people without colons, but it could give tons of info about what the colon does and how it relates to mental health.
I was on this track, too! And still am, with some positive results... actually, it led me to eat more in line with my Ayurvedic body type. There's a book called the Mind-Gut Connection, as you may know. And I'd LOVE a video, too! Diet has helped me immensely with my mood in general.
👏👏👏👏👏 thanks Dr. G
I think I have APD because I don’t like to be let down by people I feel safe on my own so not being letdown by people
As someone have Apd being with BPD woman for almost 4 years on off relationship.. I think Bpd have good advantages to show them feeling outside then Apd spical love in idealized period nd Anger in devaluation period they get more self relief in both situations but for Apd there is nothing there in the both periods. More passive.. For me as Apd there was no different to be in relationships or not I just follow what happened. If I was with someone have secure attachments will never feel my disorder but with a Bpd woman it's impossible not see what you have because they push you to the adage to seek them identity in your passive nature
Can you have both!? I have the quiet discouraged type of bpd but I find I have all symptoms of avoidant now.
Thanks Dr Grande
Thanks for helping & listening to me 😂
Dr Grande plz see my other comment as well. Lol! Thanks again
This is crazy i got diagnosed with those when I was younger, plus adjustment disorder with depressive moods. Aaahh
I used to have AvPD and then got into a relationship with someone with BPD.
This is video is quite interesting
and what is the outcome? I understand from your sentence that your AvPD disappeared.
I had the same type of interaction, and we unfortunately made each other sick
So what help with your avpd? A few good friends/relationships you could trust?
Please tell us how you cured being avoidant
I have a question. Is it possible to have both BPD and AvPD? I definitely have thought for a while that I likely have BPD and had some therapists who treated me like I had it but didn't officially diagnose me because of "stigma."
Anyway, I saw about AvPD a while back, and I thought it sounded a lot like me, too, but I don't know. It could just be social anxiety that I have, too. Like you said in the video, social anxiety and AvPD can be similar. So, I was just curious.
Anyone can feel free to give input, especially if you are pretty knowledgeable or have experience. Thanks!
Excellent.❤️
Thank you! 🙂
What is the comorbidity rate between the two PDs? I've tried to see if there's much overlap between apd and bpd but couldn't find much but strongly identify with many traits of both. I was also wondering if you would make a video about if there's a correlation between bpd and autism. From what I've read there are many women who get misdiagnosed as bpd when they're actually autistic because of the emotional deregulation.
Great work Dr Grande once again.
A suggested topic for a video:
How can concerned third parties / stakeholders help in a relationship soured by a narcissist or other behavioral disorder?
Is a friend or close family relative of a victim capable of making a fair diagnosis? What if the loved one is codependent or an enabler?
What if children are involved and life long damage is a concern, shouldn’t a third party intervene somehow? It’s criminal abuse after all, yes?
A third party member might network and discuss things with other friends and family? A third party may have recorded evidence of abuse at home, in the car elsewhere, should they share this publicly to out the abuser?
How do we navigate ?
Hey Dr. Todd, have you ever noticed that many people who appear to have personality disorders don't quite fit a significant (or diagnosable) portion of the criteria for a specific PD? This issue leads me to believe it would be more practical to diagnose personality disorders in a slightly different way. For example, there could be a diagnostic criteria that would function as a comprehensive definition of "personality disorder", including symptoms that are common with all PDs. Then perhaps there could be sorts of "sub characteristics" of the PD (ex. impulsive tendencies, lack of remorse, unstable sense of self, etc.) which would follow after the general PD diagnosis. It might basically be the same system, but this way we could include criteria from various different personality disorders. Perhaps this would make the diagnoses for PDs a little less rigid? I would love to hear your opinion on this. Do you think it would help? Or maybe just be equal to or even inferior to the current DSM?
Thanks
I have obsessional ocd and avoidance personality it’s brutal and I can’t get it to go away.
I hate myself for being this way...I could've had a really great life, but this disorder has taken advantage of me, lied to me.ruined everything about me...I'm an absolute total disaster...to see me as a kid, I should have been great, at something...but at 19 yrs old...at a party, I felt it move into my soul...it pushed me out, something evil moved in...an evil worry and paranoia...this earth punishes shy people...I avoided everything important...I'm 52 and disgusted with any future...lost my girlfriend recently...lost wife 15 yrs ago...my kids dont care for me...please take me home God...I am scared you'll send me to hell if I do it...I'm tired, and have no more energy for this fight...please have mercy on my soul
I was misdiagnosed with AvPD before I got the correct diagnosis of BPD. All I can say is that BPD is a living hell
When I was six years old my stepmother left me in a doorway with a note saying not wanted
Thank you. Interesting vid! I think I had BPD and it’s developed into APD! Can this happen?? 🇬🇧
Can you do a video on ODD-is there a time when it’s too late to help a child And can a fully grown adult be helped (40+)??
I can’t tell if I have APD or quiet BPD or even social anxiety/GAD. I wonder if APD sufferers experience occasional dissociation due to detaching from emotions (to avoid feeling hurt)
@alessio tiscali yeah you're right
Also I have yet to find an Avpd therapist in the Washington DC metro area. Or is it that general therapists help this issue but it's not itemized as a speciality?
Could you please make a video about "avoidant-borderline mixed personality"? Does it exist?
Dr. Grande did you know that in Indigenous culture more so than in cultures where a romantic language gets spoken people who belong to those communities are more encouraged to be open with their emotions in all situations except for in only one kind of situation. That is why many of us end up having problems sometimes remembering to switch over to another set of expectations when outside of any workplace while spending time among people who are not from an indigenous background which can be problematic sometimes. Especially when at first we are trusting people outside of any indigenous community too much or not enough which happens to everyone sometimes.
Does Avoidance Personality Disorder include intense mood swings like bpd? Is it possible to have traits of both?
Could you please talk about people who have to blame others for everything? Thanks!
M Z I see it everywhere with both genders.
Thank you for the video!
Дякую! =)
I resonate more with APD, but constantly got diagnosed with Social Anxiety. I can't tell my psychiatrist because I am afraid that I may sound know-it-all.
That's a good way to differentiate good and bad psychiatrists: if they're so judgmental they can't take the patient's input into consideration, they're poor at their job and you need to find another one. But they likely won't judge you for being involved in your own health and wellbeing.