I love how quickly you answered the splendidly shallow "Isn't that sexist?" question our sick culture always throws at this. No hesitation! "Yes. If respecting the differences is sexist, absolutely."
The more the world becomes crazy more of us who never care about G-d are now caring. As an ex atheist I never though that I would ever listen to a Rabbi in my life. And here I am.
i think there has been such ignorance and misunderstanding - by non-Jews - about the teachings of the Torah, when they are explained by someone as wise and eloquent as Rabbi Friedman these teachings and wisdoms are so beautiful that they make instant sense to so many that hear them and know them to be true
I am Protestant by parental design and i never grasped the views and translations the same way that Rabbi Manis translates the world and how we are. I've gotten more out of his lessons with 10 videos than i ever did in church. Thank you.
Protestant or any of the churchianity spinoffs are going to leave you devoid. Orthodox Christian or Traditional Catholic (which I am) are authentically Christian. The wisdom of the church is based upon the OT / Torah.
Wow...... do you really believe that? Just think about it for a while..... that means some of my best conversations with family, and friends, were meaningless....
As i remember, right here in America, there was a time that men did not shake a women's hand. If a man and women approached, you shook the man's, and nodded and acknowledged the woman. This seems to have gone away this century.
There is no need to hug and kiss a woman on greeting them “it’s friendly” maybe. It’s also a breach of personal space, you’ve read the old poems…it can only take the whiff of her hair and the man has romantic notions. 😂 save yourself. Just say hello, don’t offer your hand but receive hers. Hand on your heart, respect. Should I be kissing and hugging another man’s or my brothers wife. Obviously not. Boundaries.
I used to engage in small talks, especially with the ladies not because I wanted but rather because I sort of felt obligated. Same with the hand shaking but now, especially after recent experiences, over the last couple of years I decided to stop doing that. I have my reasons. And I'm 56 years old so I guess you never really stop growing. Of course I've gained a lot of enemies who think I'm rude or what not but... couldn't care less. My few true friends (I probably have no more than four!) are okay with it. That's good enough for me!!!! 😉
@@metsrus Every time I see or hear a statement starting with "curious" that means you have a problem with it. Don't... that's my business! I guess with guys is different because psst...women and men ARE different. It's how GOD meant it to be. I don't give three rats what anybody else, especially freaking feminists, think. And THANK GOD for that! I don't want to be equals with women and vice versa... I hate it when women try to be equals with men! Never happens no matter how much libs have tried to change nature (that includes men pretending to be "women" and vice versa)...a woman is a woman will ALWAYS be a woman no matter what and the same with men. No freaking sex mutilation operation or mental illness or simply stupidity will ever change that.
it's been a long time since i've seen someone of any religion have an authentic connection to deep wisdom. thank you for devoting so much time and love to others!
I work in an office with lots of new professional clients coming in. They always reach out to shake hands. As a Muslim women who wears head scarf, I politely decline, but I also put my palm under my collar bone and say " nice to meet you". And I find people are very accepting of this alternative gesture.
I appreciate you clarifying this. I attended an after work social last month, and one of my Muslim colleagues invited his wife and kids to the event. Upon their departure, I reached out to his wife to shake hands, and she respectfully declined saying that she does not shake hands.
A guy approached me with his fist for a fist bump 😆 I reciprocated, but I'm also not "married". Everybody has different comfort levels. I've seen a lot of Muslims hugging and cheek air kissing...I was told you don't kiss the cheek, but kiss past the cheek and any of that would be too close or uncomfortable for me if that person is not a close friend or relative...but that's not how I interact with friends or relatives. I guess interactions are what you agree to communicate based on your cultural background. I wouldn't be offended of a rabbi not shaking my hand or making conversatio . Plenty of other people available to engage in that manner. It's his preference and I can respect that.
Shaking hands is not meaningless. Professional relationships are based on trust. I agree with the comment on free love- it never worked. Hippie guys used it to get laid.
Lol, naked poetry 👌 I suppose nakedness in itself can be poetic and not just speaking in the physical sense. How many people can say they have been emotionally naked?
Well that's how humans are. We need marriage we need family. Too many women being single these days. And like the rabbi said sexual liberation hasn't worked out well for society
@sardonyx Your reasoning skills have betrayed you. You are wrong both about whether the Rabbi was attacking girls AND about whether I was interested in _burning_ girls.
As a blind person, I can safely say that I feel at home when a person shakes my hand, being that person a man or a woman. It's like a substitute for the eye contact sighted people have.
If you have to shake hands remember this: there is shaking hands appropriately (that’s 3 seconds) and there’s the inappropriate shaking of hands (more than 3 seconds) that is too intimate and bordering on sexual contact. The tone in your voice and the eye contact is also important.
I didn't even know or heard about this quote from 2000 yrs ago, yet, I'm blessed to be a more quiet and reserved man who only speaks when I have something to say with deep meaning behind it. Everyone tries to shame me for not engaging in small talk "just to conversate or make friends" while not understanding you don't have to fill the silence with noise at all times and the deeper conversational topics are what helps you learn more about someone else.
I swear, the amount of things I've always known by intuition without ever having been told, taught, but, still doubted...only for some wise Rabbi to so solemnly confirm after all these years.
@@nomorecensoringme Bro, what if I told you that was some silly choice of words on my part? For some reason, I always associated the word 'wizened' with 'wisdom from experience or old age'. Your asking made me check the dictionary just to spot the unintended meaning. Thanks.
It's the fitrah that God has put inside you If you're interested in what it means, it means that Allah has put some inherent morals onto you, but it can be corrupted over time by the environment and cultures you're living in/with. It's a Muslim belief, if you're interested in this concept then you will have no hardships understanding Islam and it's fundamentals
I love the wisdom of this man. Free love is free of significance. Starting in the 60s. Thank you for your insight in this and the honesty about men and women. There is a beauty in conservative ideals.
I think, Rabbi Friedman, you gave the group a more comprehensive talk than they thought you might. It's refreshing, no matter how many talks I see you giving.
two women might make conversation because they feel more comfortable with each other...and maybe two men will too...I would feel uncomfortable conversing with a man...but what the Rabbi says is so true...flirting can get people into trouble and misunderstandings happen...and someone gets hurt...
I'm Catholic as well, but I was taught the opposite. Shaking hands is merely showing RESPECT for another human being. It's only intimate if you ALLOW the encounter to be intimate. I was taught to always put my hand out first to initiate the RESPECTFUL gesture. If someone interacts with me and doesn't shake my hand I take that as an insult and very disrespectful.
Irony is: Don't make conversation Me: Immediately scrolls down to post a comment in the conversation. What he says doesn't just apply to intimacy It also applies to intimate thoughts and protecting mental health. Hence the Echochambers & Gaslighting Marathons & depression.
another layer to the irony is that strangers can obligate themselves to small talk when face to face, potentially even so-called friends, but still never know the depth of a person's psyche as conveyed in a comment
Fantastic clarity. I had to re-watch this one because for some reason my guitar keeps ringing every time the Rabbi was talking. That's never happened before, but watching the video the second time I realized that this truth and understanding is what is lacking in our modern culture. I feel it and live in it. I hope we can get it back.
Agreed...through the palms of the hand there is energy transference...sharing feeling of intimacy, attraction...even repulsion Muslim woman are taught against shaking of hands...form of protection It can cause 'problems' for one or both parties
hmmm , um yeah I don't think anybody can say that across the board , You know if that is how you feel then that is how you feel . But just know not everybody gets that . Not everybody has 'problems' just from handshaking .
@@davidfriend1919 men & women especially those who are married...shouldn't be touching unless there are good reasons...every time human beings touch there is an exchange of energy...that ultimately can lead to infidelity
@@shalizalacombe6330 With all due respect . That sounds like a personal problem . Again , you can say that YOU feel that way and that is why YOU don't want to touch in even a casual way , you don't speak for the entire human race though . I certainly don't feel that way ,
Me as a Latin American 🤭 where in our culture we tend to greet male and females with kisses on the cheek 💋 In our culture it could be considered rude not to. Love the Rabbi tho
And as another Latino I tell you that's a bunch of bull. I couldn't agree more with the Rabbi. I hate hugs, handshakes and especially kisses. Although I agree the Latino culture tend to be like that, there are a few exceptions. I'm one of'em. I guess that's why I'm viewed as a "bicho raro" or weirdo where I grew up and even among family members although the latter got used to it a long time ago.(I'm 56!). Guess that's why I don't have too many friends. So be it. The four or so I have is all I want. PD Males don't kiss each other where I grew up though...unless they were gay! (or Muslims 😅). Now kissing your dad is different of course.
It all makes sense to me now. I go to this yoga studio and have shaken hands with a couple of girls and wonder why there is this invisible field of animosity between me and them. I am always learning. The handshake was less than a second long. I thought I had the right intentions but now I know better. I should completely respect the opposite sexes space. Thank you for your insight!
Extending a hand for a shake isn't disrespecting someone's "space", they don't have to put their hand out if they don't want to. If someone shakes your hand then its done willingly
Shaking hands means...I come in peace, and I have nothing in my hands...I am unarmed. If someone refuses to shake your hand...they are on the defense...and should be viewed as a potential threat. This is basic primitive unspoken human communication.
personally as a women, i have always hated having to shake hands bcuz i was told i had to live in a man's world. so i stopped and instead give a nice smile and greeting. you guys aren't answering my basic question. including women or not??? if you think people are always approaching in peace when they shake hands with you, then i guess you must be stupid. look at every salesman in the world that just wants your money 😂
Rabbi really needs to teach this crowd of boys here how to respectfully treat women, if he even knows. and you can't even answer a simple question to your dumb comment.
As a former hardcore atheist myself I'm so eager to see how the world responds to when religious leaders and wise man like mr Friedman here start to take advantage of the Internet and remind us all why we use to care about these traditions or, in other words, "how we got here". I'm not saying not change anything. But before you do, look at, and understand what your ancestors built. That's why I'm trying to learn with an open mind from all the major religions as much as I can.
@@Nomad1025 sounds like you were raised to assume that everyone knew beforehand how long a handshake should take. And anyone that differed was "slow"? Hahaha, intellectual insecurity in a nutshell.
I too grew up in a culture where we dont talk too freely with the opposite sex. I always thought of it as a respectful cultural aspect. If there 8s something important to be said, it is different
It is getting better as far as how men treat women publicly. In the 80s/90s, it seemed men felt so entitled to touch and do what they wanted with women. We then went through the no ogling and the "me too" movements...it seems to be going in the right direction. I see nothing wrong with bowing or tipping my head towards someone, but I don't need to touch strangers.
I wonder how many people watching this have said to their black friend "I don't even think of you as black". "you have plenty of faults but I look beyond the color of your skin!" (7:00)
What is intimate about shaking hands? Dude just admitted to being intimate with men. Shaking hands does NOT indicate closeness, it's a greeting of people who DONT know each other. Not very complex.
@@malachi405 hahahahaha yes, showering with other men is disgustingly homoerotic and intimate. You're just in denial. Especially since there are homosexuals out there. Showering in a communal shower with anyone is going to be a little weird, but there is nothing different about doing it with men or women. Some people will be perverts and look, others will be polite. How about you don't be a weirdo, and just go home and shower by yourself?
You are always so on point. The subject is the mitzvah of marriage, engagement rings, the wedding night and Jewish babies. The subject is not the super bowl, apple sauce , yoga times and all other manner of small talk. Peace and love to you Rabbi Manis !
Well there will always be small talk between people but the important milestones in a Torah lifestyle are far more exciting than some give them credit.
My wife never talks to me. Sandbags every conversation. She's left me 4 times. Making initial conversation with her was the biggest mistake of my entire life.
@@user-ky2xo2ls4m non-Jews are not bound by the Ten Commandments. They have the 7 Noahide Laws: Not to worship idols. Not to curse God. Not to commit murder. Not to commit adultery or sexual immorality. Not to steal. Not to eat flesh torn from a living animal. To establish courts of justice. No sabbath there. Interesting to note, Christians used to be as strict about what not to do on Sunday as Jews are told to be. At some point making money, time and a half, became more important in the US.
Umm, the Rabbi neglected to complete the rest of the mishna from pirkei avos he quoted: don’t engage in too much conversation with a woman, this is said with regard to one’s own wife, how much more so with another man’s wife. So the mishna is not addressing pritzus (improper sexual behavior) per se - otherwise why would it reference one’s own wife? And is is specifically referring to married women. And two men may very well strike up a conversation - its polite, you may learn something. Why would you make conversation with a woman? Because she is a human being? His whole argument is silly.
So true, as a Christian girl born in Spain, I felt so many times as "violated" in so many different context even church by people who likes to touch or make small talks by simpathy or formalism. I always felt as if I was the weird one but now I realize that was the opposite.
For all of these talks I've watched, even the ones with classes of boys and classes of girls, who get animated, Rabbi Friedman is calm, humorous, and interesting. He also doesn't shout as some do it seems for effect, or to grab attention. Rabbi Friedman, I find, grabs my attention by the content of his talks.
Thank you for that audio. As a Christian I can say that never has a priest in my faith so eloquently laid out a simple matter of inter relationships. It is clear now that the Jewish faith and practicing followers will be immune to the moral collapse of the west and the insane alphabet peoples prognostications. Subscribed and will listen more. Thanks again. My morning is better for having listened. DG
I really appreciate this perspective, as my new room mates girlfriend made sure to shake my hand when she met me, and I could not look and talk to her because she was sending signals of attraction to me afterwards which was uncomfortable, especially when I looked at my room mate and he had squated down making himself look small when she talked to me. I am in the belief that men of business or practical matter cannot have intellectual conversations when in the presence of a woman. Not that she isn't capable of intellectual thought, but that unless she is of age where attraction is void, the men would be influenced by emotion, and there is no room for emotion in business
"Sending signals of attraction". That is corruption in your head. You belong in one of the middle eastern countries. An animal who is aroused by mere presence of the opposite gender.
I'm a Young Blk male from the Bronx This man is wise. When he said, "I don't see you as j'ish" just a friend. I've been saying this for a long time, I have many friends like him... But I can never cross interact my friend groups. I've had both groups tell me the same thing "you're different" and I'm like no I'm not, you just refuse to cross the street to talk to them.
Both orthodox Jewish men and woman usually keep this law and don't touch anyone of the opposite sex unless they're very very close relatives or in certain circumstances where the Torah may look bad. On a kqbbalistic level, the touch is suppose to transfer energy
I don't need to know Rabbi Manis to be his friend. I like his beard and his funny hat, and I find it enjoyable to listen to him so this is more than enough for me. Rabbi, this is the first time I come across you. We don't have to be friends but let's be friendly!
Women are the heart of honor , was a meaningful line that i heard once when a father was discussing being honorable & living honorably to his sons in a film. Honoring a woman as her being the heart of practicing honor then requires upmost decorum. Respect for her and oneself is safeguarded in such a way.
I only respect and honor the women who are deserving of it, which is fewer and fewer women today. I don't cast my pearls before swine or dogs. With many women today, the more honor and respect you give them, the more they look down upon you as if you're lesser than them. Modern women (not all, but in general) are wired backwards.
You don't even understand women if you are constantly putting them on a pedestal through your religious based idealistic fantasies. You are projecting these ideas onto women; I guarantee they don't think about all this crap zealots place upon them. Women can be a lot of great things, but to acquaint them with the term honor seems a gross misuse of the term.
I thought the main reason men didn't women hands in the 'Rabbi's world' is because the women could be menstruating and that is seen as unclean as well as women being seen as property of men ? I've had plenty of conversations with women and no harm has come to me or them, in fact talking to both genders has been pleasant and on some rare occasions enlightening.
I feel kinda like only somebody who is really uptight would worry about the kinds of things this guy is worrying about .. I mean two people sit on an airplane , a man and a woman , they entertain each other a little and so what ? you shake hands with a woman and so what ? only the context of being uptight about sexuality interferes with anything further than mildly entertaining small talk . You know , it is not intimacy , it still saves intimacy . socializing means nothing sexual unless you make it in your own mind .
@@nomorecensoringme I didn't say you can't think that way or enjoy that , you can enjoy thinking any way you want ... It's just that to me , personally it seems really really strangely uptight . that's all ...
@@nomorecensoringme some people may enjoy being uptight ... hey , be my guest , that is what's great about America , you can do your thing and I can do mine . assuming you are american , like me ..
@@davidfriend1919 I am an American, not uptight. A joyful Jew, happy being a Jew as G-d wants and needs me to be, not 'uotight', repressed or anything negative, thanks. That's why you're not a Jew. You see negativity where we know positivity.
Interesting. I'm a Christian who shares a lot of what you said. Well in my belief Christianity is the perfect continuation and fulfilment of the Judaism of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Moses and all the other Jewish prophets in between so there could be a connection there. Funny thing is that most of my fellow Christians don't share that with me. Although another more Orthodox group does. But I'm like that inside and outside the Church temple, but especially inside.
Judaism is complete within itself. Your ideas to rationalize your religion do not constitute fact or truth. It's insulting to us, if we take it that way. The only 'temples' were destroyed thousands of years ago. The Third Temple will be built by Moshiach.
I asked about it the man that shook the hand of my husband but not mine about this, he said because the rabbi told us. I found that hurting because to me not shaking my hand it meant "you are not worth my recognition as a human being". I shake hands as I was taught as a sign of friendship and trust, "I see you as another human being." Also all we can learn in a business setting from a handshake! I would prefer to see if someone is creepy to avoid it through a handshake than to come closer and be in big trouble. I never thought that this gesture could be seen as something sexual at all. Thanks for sharing. It brings some understanding.
The majority of people don’t even wash their hands after the bathroom and then they are on their sweaty phones all day so that’s why I don’t shake hands anymore.
I love how religious people are able to twist the plain meaning of things like, "Don't make conversation with the woman" to mean "don’t objectify women." What a stretch!
We don't have 'Muslim brothers'. People are not one big family, happy or otherwise. It's disingenuous to the way G-d created all of us uniquely. Separately.
@@Wise__guy we are individuals within a group. The group is whatever it is, within another group and another. Separate. The one "uniting group" is humanity, though separate.
This is why it's a good idea to have respect for religious traditions. For those with little or no self-control or discipline, these ideas would be beneficial to practice. They're all-encompassing and keep you out of trouble. But if you're capable of recognizing and maintaining boundaries on your own and keeping your impulses under control, then you don't need all these stringent restrictions on yourself. It takes patience, understanding, and intelligence but it's perfectly within reason for people to adapt their behavior to any situation based on the circumstances around them. But these ideas are still good ones to follow as a general rule of thumb.
Respectfully, in modern times, we don't like to admit to our vulnerabilities and weaknesses (especially the idea of temptation I think). As a male, I understand the fear to not be seen as a creep or an animal specifically in a sexual situation. Because there's an element of truth to it, I am not an animal, but I do have an extremely powerful one in me that I must harness. If you need somewhat of proof, consider how many modern males cannot stop themselves from consuming this content. (To make ourselves feel better, we pretend that it's a good thing, or a necessary thing, but if you take uncompromising steps to stop it, without worrying what the world will think, you can.
no its not ... seems extreme but reading how many christian pastors have fallen into sexual sin they said it began with a hug and or hand shake.. then unnessary talks...
Once u[on a time, there was the saying, "A man's handshake is his word," meaning that the handshake agreement was as good as any contract. Women who began to enter business may have chosen to use the handshake in the same way that some men had been. The more I think abut this, the more I see that anything on this level could be controversial.
You caused me to think, What is 'controversial'? Not acceptable to "the world"? The masses? Personally, I don't let my actions, thoughts, etc, be dictated by others who, in reality, have no "dog in the race" of my existence and choices. In recent years, the idea of "group think" has been gaining traction with some. For people who like to think for themselves, who don't need a consensus of acceptability, who have no issue accepting responsibility for their thoughts and actions, it's not valid.
I think it becomes complicated since noone is asking the women who started it what their motivation was, if they know, or would admit to it. Can't for some who are gone. The other idea is trying to make something universal when there's individuality involved.
Rabbi Friedman also shared that a handshake was a way of proving you "came in peace", as the saying goes, without a gun. Women weren't heavily armed were they?
Hi five! that will set the tone professionally. Clear the air with childhood practices. We never truly lose our inner child so why waste it when everyone is already misinterpreting a simple handshake?
First off, I think I've seen this guy in many stores at Christmas time sitting in a big chair with his red suit on taking orders from children of what's on their lists. Secondly, I wonder if he's really read all those books on the shelves behind him.
Absolutely right about the handshake. I am a Christian. A few weeks ago I had bought a duvet at a market. The vendor shook my hand and held it for 2 or 3 seconds too long. I knew this was a signal that he was available to have an affair. It was disrespectful and creepy and I now avoid this man like the plaque.
I grew up in a very strict Catholic family. I was brought up to always shake hands as a sign of RESPECT. I was also taught that as a woman I have the choice to allow a man to shake my hand by putting my hand out first. I always put my hand out first. If someone doesn't shake my hand that is a pure insult and disrespectful.
@@ILoveMaths07 I feel it's very rude and disrespectful if someone doesn't shake my hand.....man or woman....gender doesn't matter. I don't see how anyone would feel uncomfortable around me....I'm an empath and I treat everyone with kindness and respect. Which is a moral that's lost.....
Mr. Friedman this was very good. I always think I am smart, and I know I am :) because I feel I already knew this. However thank you for clarifying and articulate it. The knowledge has now moved from my unconscious to the conscious part of my brain. Great insight. You Rabbis Rock. Cheers
Many years ago, I was on a plane sitting next to a man on my left who was studying law. We talked about his journey through learning logic, and now I find that this is extremely relevant in my life, having been deprived of justice for so long. B'ezrat HaShem, I can get the legal help I need.
I find this perspective interesting and there's something to appreciate in it but the truth is, 8 hours on a plane, man or woman, I love conversation. I'll gladly talk with anyone because I think every person is living an experience that can be learned from and through which we can learn about ourselves. I can appreciate the angle that especially as a married guy, I shouldn't make conversation with a woman when it's my little head making the call but when it's this pure curiosity and quest for perspective, how is that wrong? I need more context.
Because intimacy should be protected. We are creatures that empathize and sympathize. Like you said, conversations are good way to get to know other people . The more people get to know each other, the more they become intimate and build chemistry. This is especially true for a male and female, where attraction will continue to build as they become closer to one another. This kind of attraction is even stronger than the superficial physical attraction, and could become dangerous if not between spouses.
@@metsrus thanks for your feedback. I think there’s something special about the kinds of relationships that can be born and die in a day on a train. I’m not yet ready to believe that will inevitably lead to adultery if that is what’s being implied here
@@LiamDangerPark haha, I hear ya. Just as long as you don't get her name and phone number and start looking her up on the internet, i guess it would be fine. But I think the point is that intimacy should be kept between spouses, and by getting to know another woman, you are opening a door for another possibility, no matter how improbable it is.
Call me old fashioned, having grown up in the South... traditional southern etiquette was to never extend your had to a woman....for a handshake 🤝 UNLESS she extended her hand out to you first. Thus avoiding making another feel uncomfortable, especially the lady.
I'm not Jewish but this guy has a lot of sense, and hes not insulting women by not shaking hands with them hes saying he wont have physical contact with women who are not in a relationship with him. And he will shake hands with men as that used to mean something it was a sign of friendship or sealing a deal . years ago you didnt really need contracts because mens word meant something things used to operate on a handshake. And a lot of the inter relationships between men are based on the idea of personal honour that you keep your word, and if you dont your less of a man . what hes saying is very wise
Hand shakes are an art. I respect a good handshake paired with eye contact. A limp hand from someone with their head turned the other way is unforgettable. Should be reserved for business only.
Very well explained by the Rabbi. Sexism as abuse does not come from recognizing differences but from generalizing. The idea of others in terms of gender, race and class is a form of cognitive bias that makes us see others as a thing, within a set of things, which in turn is also a thing.
Physical contact is intimate, even the shaking of hands. Thank you for acknowledging this Rabbi Friedman. You have spoken previous about the reality/materiality (?) of even thoughts and words, where even another person's thoughts can be experience as being intimate and intrusive of the integrity of ones personal space - i.e. as communicated with a look or even verbally (i.e. compliments, can be uncomfortably intimate and instrusive). If one expresses such discomforts one is labelled "frigid", which is not true, but i do feel uncomfortable when people do not acknowledge & respect my personal physical boundaries. Shalom ♡
That creates too much garbage-waste, cards thrown away. If people want to contact each other, in this age of cell phones and computers, it's not necessary to create waste.
You're not. If someone doesn't see you, your abilities, humor, joy, pain, etc, that's them. Not you. If they don't, they don't. It doesn't mean you're not valuable. You don't need to be seen through the eyes of another. Only the One Above, which will be reflected in the eyes of your "soul mate".
Sad to say, but I would rather be invisible, than a reality show. I hope you have a few friends that can make up for the current chill in characters expressed. It really is sad. Feeling you on the flip side!
It surprises me that the rabbi doesn’t have a more nuanced understanding of sexual abuse and even #metoo. Saying that #metoo has to do with “free love” as opposed to real intimacy feels like nonsense. Sexual abuse is always about power- the perpetrator is not looking for intimacy.
Moreover- when a society is extremely sexually suppressed and gender segregated, that does not eliminate sexual violence. On the contrary. As the rabbi must know too well.
Thank you. I stopped talking to women once I found my woman and my life is so, so much better. Now, women make covnersation with me and I am polite, but that's all.
thank you rabbi i am very pleased to be in your class and learn the wisdom that you share with your students of torah yeah! this is major advancement for my family tree, i made the effort to be true to the standard and principles of living a life of the covenant numbers 6:22-27. iam not a christian and i have choice and i choose torah.
If I were to run a race, would it be wise to seek the counsel of paraplegics that never ran? No. Why are so many seeking wisdom from a man and group that habitually failed at following or understanding wisdom at every level throughout their existence...? It truly boggles the mind if anyone gives the question any level of actual thought.
@GØÐWIÑ if you trip and fall and become a paraplegic during your race, you may have done well atleast considering hearing any of their council and perspective. Paraplegics are sometimes born, but most likely have suffered an injury at some time, so unless you truly stick to the statement of only meaning paraplegics that have "never" run, then I would agree, but even paraplegics that have never run, may have had a dream of running and may have educated themselves about racing. Maybe my point would be, that everyone has something to contribute. Bible says anyways that God's wisdom is foolishness to man and vice versa, man's wisdom is foolishness to man. It is for the wise to discern and for the fool to scoff. Now that might sound like wisdom, but may not, because truly I'm just talking nonsense out of my ass after a 14 hour work day at 2am in the morning lol and that's just me being sleep drunk but honest 😴
@@aqua6613 I would give your words a lot more thought if you dared to openly address the latter part of my previous message, friend. If David, Solomon, any prophet or the like were here to offer wisdom - I would gladly shut my mouth entirely and staple my ears open to ensure I didn't miss a word. Unfortunately, they aren't and we're left with descendants thousands of years later that failed so miserably when given ample opportunities. I'm not hating them, as I love them truly, but I cannot perceive how so many Jews and Christians alike give their present-day teachings so much respect and devotion. Would NFL professionals ever race to learn from people that fell short of making even a reserve team in high school? No. It would be ridiculous beyond measure to even suggest otherwise. The wisdom in Proverbs is greater than ANY rabbi's offerings of today. Stick with the Word of God and not men guilty of continually failing throughout the ages.
@@Godwin420 in other words you're here to bash us? Troll around and get a few digs in, for entertainment? To raise others consciousness? We know who we are, what we're here to do, and thankfully don't need your approval, or acceptance.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
"If you don't respect intimacy, you're going to abuse somebody." So true, thank you for saying it as it is
I love how quickly you answered the splendidly shallow "Isn't that sexist?" question our sick culture always throws at this. No hesitation! "Yes. If respecting the differences is sexist, absolutely."
Yes but it's about shaking hands not menstrual pads.
I can listen to him talk all day long…
Brilliant!
Good technique.....he answererd to the point then qualified it with a precise definition.
@@Wahhhhhhhh-hhhWhere does sanitary pads fit into this? What a weird comment.
The more the world becomes crazy more of us who never care about G-d are now caring. As an ex atheist I never though that I would ever listen to a Rabbi in my life. And here I am.
"God uses the foolish to confound the wise." The world runs out of answers, and it brings you here: to God! Welcome.
🥇
That's wonderful.
i think there has been such ignorance and misunderstanding - by non-Jews - about the teachings of the Torah, when they are explained by someone as wise and eloquent as Rabbi Friedman these teachings and wisdoms are so beautiful that they make instant sense to so many that hear them and know them to be true
If I may ask. What convinced you to become ex atheist?
I am Protestant by parental design and i never grasped the views and translations the same way that Rabbi Manis translates the world and how we are. I've gotten more out of his lessons with 10 videos than i ever did in church. Thank you.
Orthodox Church is the original church.
Protestant or any of the churchianity spinoffs are going to leave you devoid. Orthodox Christian or Traditional Catholic (which I am) are authentically Christian.
The wisdom of the church is based upon the OT / Torah.
@@styroreality it's very evident!
@@benyameenyitzhak1036 it's a breakaway from authority like a runaway child. Now fatherless.
"You make conversation when you have nothing to say" Wow, I felt that.
That is totally correct. It is about chemistry ad levels. Shut the fuck up when you are so stupid and find people to disscus when you are their level.
Wow...... do you really believe that? Just think about it for a while..... that means some of my best conversations with family, and friends, were meaningless....
@@michaeldamato9466 actually he didn't say anything , but that was the spin I got out of it .... meaning just not sexual ...
@@michaeldamato9466 context
@@michaeldamato9466 you 'make' conversation with family and friends? Interesting.
As i remember, right here in America, there was a time that men did not shake a women's hand. If a man and women approached, you shook the man's, and nodded and acknowledged the woman. This seems to have gone away this century.
I will shake a woman's hand only if she offers hers first.
I love touching beautiful women. I force it
welcome to equality
There is no need to hug and kiss a woman on greeting them “it’s friendly” maybe. It’s also a breach of personal space, you’ve read the old poems…it can only take the whiff of her hair and the man has romantic notions. 😂 save yourself.
Just say hello, don’t offer your hand but receive hers.
Hand on your heart, respect.
Should I be kissing and hugging another man’s or my brothers wife. Obviously not. Boundaries.
In France it's normal for a man to kiss your wife in front of you on both sides of her face.
as a person who view small talk as painful as getting your teeth pulled, I agree with this man.
I used to engage in small talks, especially with the ladies not because I wanted but rather because I sort of felt obligated. Same with the hand shaking but now, especially after recent experiences, over the last couple of years I decided to stop doing that. I have my reasons. And I'm 56 years old so I guess you never really stop growing.
Of course I've gained a lot of enemies who think I'm rude or what not but... couldn't care less. My few true friends (I probably have no more than four!) are okay with it. That's good enough for me!!!! 😉
I despise small talk.
@@archangelliii2536 curious why do you feel more obligated to make small talk with a woman than a man? does gender really matter?
@@metsrus Every time I see or hear a statement starting with "curious" that means you have a problem with it. Don't... that's my business! I guess with guys is different because psst...women and men ARE different. It's how GOD meant it to be. I don't give three rats what anybody else, especially freaking feminists, think. And THANK GOD for that! I don't want to be equals with women and vice versa... I hate it when women try to be equals with men! Never happens no matter how much libs have tried to change nature (that includes men pretending to be "women" and vice versa)...a woman is a woman will ALWAYS be a woman no matter what and the same with men. No freaking sex mutilation operation or mental illness or simply stupidity will ever change that.
@@archangelliii2536 “you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t shake hands” -doc holiday in tombstone film
it's been a long time since i've seen someone of any religion have an authentic connection to deep wisdom.
thank you for devoting so much time and love to others!
I work in an office with lots of new professional clients coming in. They always reach out to shake hands. As a Muslim women who wears head scarf, I politely decline, but I also put my palm under my collar bone and say " nice to meet you". And I find people are very accepting of this alternative gesture.
I appreciate you clarifying this. I attended an after work social last month, and one of my Muslim colleagues invited his wife and kids to the event. Upon their departure, I reached out to his wife to shake hands, and she respectfully declined saying that she does not shake hands.
The social norm is for a man to wait for a woman to shake his hand.
A guy approached me with his fist for a fist bump 😆 I reciprocated, but I'm also not "married".
Everybody has different comfort levels.
I've seen a lot of Muslims hugging and cheek air kissing...I was told you don't kiss the cheek, but kiss past the cheek and any of that would be too close or uncomfortable for me if that person is not a close friend or relative...but that's not how I interact with friends or relatives. I guess interactions are what you agree to communicate based on your cultural background.
I wouldn't be offended of a rabbi not shaking my hand or making conversatio .
Plenty of other people available to engage in that manner. It's his preference and I can respect that.
@@lazy-gaga In the 1950s.
Shaking hands is not meaningless. Professional relationships are based on trust. I agree with the comment on free love- it never worked. Hippie guys used it to get laid.
"you make conversation when you have nothing to say". Spot on. Beautiful talk 👍
I find long time married couples holding hands the sweetest thing, also there is a way of saying something without saying anything by sending flowers.
There are many gestures, men and women, can make to show caring and affection.
Lol, naked poetry 👌 I suppose nakedness in itself can be poetic and not just speaking in the physical sense.
How many people can say they have been emotionally naked?
“How naked go the sometimes nude”
It’s a poem
What can you say to a man
Well that's how humans are. We need marriage we need family. Too many women being single these days. And like the rabbi said sexual liberation hasn't worked out well for society
_"Is that sexist?"_
_"Yes."_
Rabbi Chad Friedman
Lol
I LOVED the silence and eye contact he gave after saying that. Just let it sit there and BURN
@@hotice8885 burn? you sound invested in hurting women. maybe Rabbi will find a lesson next time for the boys
@sardonyx Your reasoning skills have betrayed you. You are wrong both about whether the Rabbi was attacking girls AND about whether I was interested in _burning_ girls.
@@sardonyxsky By the way, this _entire lesson_ was "for the boys."
As a blind person, I can safely say that I feel at home when a person shakes my hand, being that person a man or a woman. It's like a substitute for the eye contact sighted people have.
Interesting perspective. =)
Thanks, @@haikuoflife.
I like this man already before the 1:00 minute time stamp. That honest “yes” was powerful.
If you have to shake hands remember this: there is shaking hands appropriately (that’s 3 seconds) and there’s the inappropriate shaking of hands (more than 3 seconds) that is too intimate and bordering on sexual contact. The tone in your voice and the eye contact is also important.
I never thought I'd be listening to a rabbi giving such practical wisdom
So glad for him. Wish it had been many years ago.
I didn't even know or heard about this quote from 2000 yrs ago, yet, I'm blessed to be a more quiet and reserved man who only speaks when I have something to say with deep meaning behind it. Everyone tries to shame me for not engaging in small talk "just to conversate or make friends" while not understanding you don't have to fill the silence with noise at all times and the deeper conversational topics are what helps you learn more about someone else.
I swear, the amount of things I've always known by intuition without ever having been told, taught, but, still doubted...only for some wise Rabbi to so solemnly confirm after all these years.
The difference with savvy and ignorants is the ability to explain complex concepts
'Wizened'?
@@nomorecensoringme Bro, what if I told you that was some silly choice of words on my part? For some reason, I always associated the word 'wizened' with 'wisdom from experience or old age'. Your asking made me check the dictionary just to spot the unintended meaning. Thanks.
It's the fitrah that God has put inside you
If you're interested in what it means, it means that Allah has put some inherent morals onto you, but it can be corrupted over time by the environment and cultures you're living in/with. It's a Muslim belief, if you're interested in this concept then you will have no hardships understanding Islam and it's fundamentals
I love this topic. You made it so clear.
Yes he did.
I love the wisdom of this man. Free love is free of significance. Starting in the 60s. Thank you for your insight in this and the honesty about men and women. There is a beauty in conservative ideals.
I think, Rabbi Friedman, you gave the group a more comprehensive talk than they thought you might. It's refreshing, no matter how many talks I see you giving.
two women might make conversation because they feel more comfortable with each other...and maybe two men will too...I would feel uncomfortable conversing with a man...but what the Rabbi says is so true...flirting can get people into trouble and misunderstandings happen...and someone gets hurt...
I agree. Simple conversation, not even 'flirting', can be misunderstood and problematic.
The 😅
@@JohnCFee lol
I’d rather read the bs in flight magazine or stare at the seat in front of me than speak to anyone next to me. 🥱 people are draining
I'm a Catholic woman and do not shake hands with men either. Makes my husband happy :)
I'm Catholic as well, but I was taught the opposite. Shaking hands is merely showing RESPECT for another human being. It's only intimate if you ALLOW the encounter to be intimate. I was taught to always put my hand out first to initiate the RESPECTFUL gesture. If someone interacts with me and doesn't shake my hand I take that as an insult and very disrespectful.
@@beccamcdonald9846 I'm a Catholic woman and was taught the same thing. 😊
@@leonaheraty3760 I was just raised with old fashioned morals and values
@@beccamcdonald9846 Same here. I thank God every day for parents who are in Heaven and were from the Greatest Generation. 🥰
@@leonaheraty3760 Amen to that 🙏🏻
Irony is: Don't make conversation
Me: Immediately scrolls down to post a comment in the conversation.
What he says doesn't just apply to intimacy
It also applies to intimate thoughts and protecting mental health.
Hence the Echochambers & Gaslighting Marathons & depression.
another layer to the irony is that strangers can obligate themselves to small talk when face to face, potentially even so-called friends, but still never know the depth of a person's psyche as conveyed in a comment
and it's all so impersonal ...
In the era of loneliness, a handshake feels like a hug.
Fantastic clarity. I had to re-watch this one because for some reason my guitar keeps ringing every time the Rabbi was talking. That's never happened before, but watching the video the second time I realized that this truth and understanding is what is lacking in our modern culture. I feel it and live in it. I hope we can get it back.
Rabbi and truth in the same sentence is hilarious.
Devil don't want you listening to this
Agreed...through the palms of the hand there is energy transference...sharing feeling of intimacy, attraction...even repulsion
Muslim woman are taught against shaking of hands...form of protection
It can cause 'problems' for one or both parties
It's good that Muslims have that practice.
It's OK for Muslim women to shake hands with one another but not with men, based on my observation.
hmmm , um yeah I don't think anybody can say that across the board , You know if that is how you feel then that is how you feel . But just know not everybody gets that . Not everybody has 'problems' just from handshaking .
@@davidfriend1919 men & women especially those who are married...shouldn't be touching unless there are good reasons...every time human beings touch there is an exchange of energy...that ultimately can lead to infidelity
@@shalizalacombe6330 With all due respect . That sounds like a personal problem . Again , you can say that YOU feel that way and that is why YOU don't want to touch in even a casual way , you don't speak for the entire human race though . I certainly don't feel that way ,
Me as a Latin American 🤭 where in our culture we tend to greet male and females with kisses on the cheek 💋
In our culture it could be considered rude not to.
Love the Rabbi tho
And as another Latino I tell you that's a bunch of bull. I couldn't agree more with the Rabbi. I hate hugs, handshakes and especially kisses. Although I agree the Latino culture tend to be like that, there are a few exceptions. I'm one of'em. I guess that's why I'm viewed as a "bicho raro" or weirdo where I grew up and even among family members although the latter got used to it a long time ago.(I'm 56!). Guess that's why I don't have too many friends. So be it. The four or so I have is all I want.
PD Males don't kiss each other where I grew up though...unless they were gay! (or Muslims 😅). Now kissing your dad is different of course.
Covid mudou esse costume, de shake hands, na minha opiniao.
That's true! Hugging and kissing on the cheeks is considered normal or common greetings and part of our Hispanic culture
@@archangelliii2536 I can't imagine life without hugs or kisses. You are strange, indeed. At least imo.
@@archangelliii2536 I know!!! I am mexican and I totally hate hugs and kisses... Unless is my mother or girlfriend... But that's It.
It all makes sense to me now. I go to this yoga studio and have shaken hands with a couple of girls and wonder why there is this invisible field of animosity between me and them.
I am always learning. The handshake was less than a second long. I thought I had the right intentions but now I know better. I should completely respect the opposite sexes space.
Thank you for your insight!
Personally, I don't initiate hand shaking with either gender. They have to initiate. A nod is fine.
Extending a hand for a shake isn't disrespecting someone's "space", they don't have to put their hand out if they don't want to. If someone shakes your hand then its done willingly
@@SeamHead33 That’s a fair point
Sounds like they belong to the Hate group that's called Feminism
Used as an opportunity to make you feel uncomfortable 😊
“You can’t fool Mother Nature” 🎯💯✊🏽
Shaking hands means...I come in peace, and I have nothing in my hands...I am unarmed. If someone refuses to shake your hand...they are on the defense...and should be viewed as a potential threat. This is basic primitive unspoken human communication.
including women? a handshake now is either a power play or a meaningless nicety. your sentiment is out of date.
@@sardonyxsky nope.
@@ronashman8463 including women? surely you have to have something interesting to say to give insight other than 'nope'
fkn cope out
personally as a women, i have always hated having to shake hands bcuz i was told i had to live in a man's world. so i stopped and instead give a nice smile and greeting.
you guys aren't answering my basic question.
including women or not???
if you think people are always approaching in peace when they shake hands with you, then i guess you must be stupid.
look at every salesman in the world that just wants your money 😂
Rabbi really needs to teach this crowd of boys here how to respectfully treat women, if he even knows.
and you can't even answer a simple question to your dumb comment.
As a former hardcore atheist myself I'm so eager to see how the world responds to when religious leaders and wise man like mr Friedman here start to take advantage of the Internet and remind us all why we use to care about these traditions or, in other words, "how we got here". I'm not saying not change anything. But before you do, look at, and understand what your ancestors built. That's why I'm trying to learn with an open mind from all the major religions as much as I can.
So much truth in this short video! Thank you for the thought provoking content!
I deliberately shake hands too long. I love the awkwardness it creates. There's a hint of innocence that resides in that moment.
The animal impulse
All the more reason not to shake your hand, man or woman.
@@nomorecensoringme yeah, in the end it doesn't really matter.
😂
@@Nomad1025 sounds like you were raised to assume that everyone knew beforehand how long a handshake should take. And anyone that differed was "slow"? Hahaha, intellectual insecurity in a nutshell.
I too grew up in a culture where we dont talk too freely with the opposite sex. I always thought of it as a respectful cultural aspect. If there 8s something important to be said, it is different
This is Torah wisdom, been around for thousands of years, well articulated by the Rabbi.
It is getting better as far as how men treat women publicly. In the 80s/90s, it seemed men felt so entitled to touch and do what they wanted with women. We then went through the no ogling and the "me too" movements...it seems to be going in the right direction. I see nothing wrong with bowing or tipping my head towards someone, but I don't need to touch strangers.
Shabbat Shalom to all, including your family and friends, who will enjoy being "intimate" with Hashem on this Yom tov.
Shalom!
I'm not a Jew but most of what he's saying is correct.
This guy's very straightforward and honest.
nonetheless, he is incorrect.
I wonder how many people watching this have said to their black friend "I don't even think of you as black". "you have plenty of faults but I look beyond the color of your skin!" (7:00)
Alot
What is intimate about shaking hands? Dude just admitted to being intimate with men.
Shaking hands does NOT indicate closeness, it's a greeting of people who DONT know each other.
Not very complex.
A healthy, straight, man showers with other men. Nothing intimate there. Showering with women is different.
@@malachi405 hahahahaha yes, showering with other men is disgustingly homoerotic and intimate. You're just in denial. Especially since there are homosexuals out there.
Showering in a communal shower with anyone is going to be a little weird, but there is nothing different about doing it with men or women. Some people will be perverts and look, others will be polite.
How about you don't be a weirdo, and just go home and shower by yourself?
@@malachi405 plus, you didn't respond to any facts I mentioned about shaking hands.
You are always so on point. The subject is the mitzvah of marriage, engagement rings, the wedding night and Jewish babies. The subject is not the super bowl, apple sauce , yoga times and all other manner of small talk. Peace and love to you Rabbi Manis !
Well there will always be small talk between people but the important milestones in a Torah lifestyle are far more exciting than some give them credit.
My wife never talks to me. Sandbags every conversation. She's left me 4 times. Making initial conversation with her was the biggest mistake of my entire life.
😢 sad that neither of you have respect for each other
To everyone not enjoying Shabbat, have a spectacular Saturday, with family and friends.
My dad allway told anybody that Saturday was the day off, he didnt understand y people change lt to Sunday.
@@arcelesp7878 interesting. Sabbath does not have to be Saturday, which is for Jews. It's fine for non-Jews to have Sunday.
@@user-ky2xo2ls4m non-Jews are not bound by the Ten Commandments. They have the 7 Noahide Laws:
Not to worship idols.
Not to curse God.
Not to commit murder.
Not to commit adultery or sexual immorality.
Not to steal.
Not to eat flesh torn from a living animal.
To establish courts of justice.
No sabbath there.
Interesting to note, Christians used to be as strict about what not to do on Sunday as Jews are told to be. At some point making money, time and a half, became more important in the US.
Saturday is the 7th day
@@user-ky2xo2ls4m 'should'? Not according to the Torah, which is from G-d.
Umm, the Rabbi neglected to complete the rest of the mishna from pirkei avos he quoted: don’t engage in too much conversation with a woman, this is said with regard to one’s own wife, how much more so with another man’s wife. So the mishna is not addressing pritzus (improper sexual behavior) per se - otherwise why would it reference one’s own wife? And is is specifically referring to married women. And two men may very well strike up a conversation - its polite, you may learn something. Why would you make conversation with a woman? Because she is a human being? His whole argument is silly.
So true, as a Christian girl born in Spain, I felt so many times as "violated" in so many different context even church by people who likes to touch or make small talks by simpathy or formalism. I always felt as if I was the weird one but now I realize that was the opposite.
I want to know how you have these conversations and people remain so calm
For all of these talks I've watched, even the ones with classes of boys and classes of girls, who get animated, Rabbi Friedman is calm, humorous, and interesting. He also doesn't shout as some do it seems for effect, or to grab attention. Rabbi Friedman, I find, grabs my attention by the content of his talks.
Some deep wisdom here. I really enjoyed this.
Thank you for that audio.
As a Christian I can say that never has a priest in my faith so eloquently laid out a simple matter of inter relationships.
It is clear now that the Jewish faith and practicing followers will be immune to the moral collapse of the west and the insane alphabet peoples prognostications.
Subscribed and will listen more.
Thanks again.
My morning is better for having listened.
DG
I really appreciate this perspective, as my new room mates girlfriend made sure to shake my hand when she met me, and I could not look and talk to her because she was sending signals of attraction to me afterwards which was uncomfortable, especially when I looked at my room mate and he had squated down making himself look small when she talked to me.
I am in the belief that men of business or practical matter cannot have intellectual conversations when in the presence of a woman. Not that she isn't capable of intellectual thought, but that unless she is of age where attraction is void, the men would be influenced by emotion, and there is no room for emotion in business
"Sending signals of attraction". That is corruption in your head. You belong in one of the middle eastern countries.
An animal who is aroused by mere presence of the opposite gender.
I'm a Young Blk male from the Bronx
This man is wise.
When he said, "I don't see you as j'ish" just a friend.
I've been saying this for a long time, I have many friends like him... But I can never cross interact my friend groups.
I've had both groups tell me the same thing
"you're different" and I'm like no I'm not, you just refuse to cross the street to talk to them.
Thank you for the enlightening message of wisdom Rabbi. Shalom!
He speaks out of common sense. It's very refreshing.
Both orthodox Jewish men and woman usually keep this law and don't touch anyone of the opposite sex unless they're very very close relatives or in certain circumstances where the Torah may look bad.
On a kqbbalistic level, the touch is suppose to transfer energy
Thank you
I don't need to know Rabbi Manis to be his friend. I like his beard and his funny hat, and I find it enjoyable to listen to him so this is more than enough for me.
Rabbi, this is the first time I come across you. We don't have to be friends but let's be friendly!
Women are the heart of honor , was a meaningful line that i heard once when a father was discussing being honorable & living honorably to his sons in a film. Honoring a woman as her being the heart of practicing honor then requires upmost decorum. Respect for her and oneself is safeguarded in such a way.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing.
I only respect and honor the women who are deserving of it, which is fewer and fewer women today. I don't cast my pearls before swine or dogs. With many women today, the more honor and respect you give them, the more they look down upon you as if you're lesser than them. Modern women (not all, but in general) are wired backwards.
You don't even understand women if you are constantly putting them on a pedestal through your religious based idealistic fantasies. You are projecting these ideas onto women; I guarantee they don't think about all this crap zealots place upon them. Women can be a lot of great things, but to acquaint them with the term honor seems a gross misuse of the term.
@@derekluna7700 Can you see my comment that was before yours?
this is why women have no boundaries now; you made them think they're are queens.
I thought the main reason men didn't women hands in the 'Rabbi's world' is because the women could be menstruating and that is seen as unclean as well as women being seen as property of men ?
I've had plenty of conversations with women and no harm has come to me or them, in fact talking to both genders has been pleasant and on some rare occasions enlightening.
I feel kinda like only somebody who is really uptight would worry about the kinds of things this guy is worrying about .. I mean two people sit on an airplane , a man and a woman , they entertain each other a little and so what ? you shake hands with a woman and so what ? only the context of being uptight about sexuality interferes with anything further than mildly entertaining small talk . You know , it is not intimacy , it still saves intimacy . socializing means nothing sexual unless you make it in your own mind .
You and others think as you do and enjoy it. We think as 'this guy' does and we enjoy it. We're not missing anything, nor are we 'uptight'
@@nomorecensoringme I didn't say you can't think that way or enjoy that , you can enjoy thinking any way you want ... It's just that to me , personally it seems really really strangely uptight . that's all ...
@@nomorecensoringme some people may enjoy being uptight ... hey , be my guest , that is what's great about America , you can do your thing and I can do mine . assuming you are american , like me ..
@@davidfriend1919 well it's not. It's liberating.
@@davidfriend1919 I am an American, not uptight. A joyful Jew, happy being a Jew as G-d wants and needs me to be, not 'uotight', repressed or anything negative, thanks. That's why you're not a Jew. You see negativity where we know positivity.
Omg “if sexist means recognizing the differences between sexes,” I’ve said that myself!!
Interesting. I'm a Christian who shares a lot of what you said. Well in my belief Christianity is the perfect continuation and fulfilment of the Judaism of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Moses and all the other Jewish prophets in between so there could be a connection there. Funny thing is that most of my fellow Christians don't share that with me. Although another more Orthodox group does. But I'm like that inside and outside the Church temple, but especially inside.
Judaism is complete within itself. Your ideas to rationalize your religion do not constitute fact or truth. It's insulting to us, if we take it that way.
The only 'temples' were destroyed thousands of years ago. The Third Temple will be built by Moshiach.
You're 'complete' yet here you are. Won't find us on a Christian channel. What does that tell you?
Very interesting. Thank you for making me see it from another angle.
Regards from Tenerife, Canary Islands, Spain,
Daniel.
Atleast now I don't have to worry about not being able to talk to girls.
Good for you. I'm sure when you meet the girl you'll marry, you'll talk fine.
No. You need to learn to talk to girls. Then you'll have the freedom to ignore the ones you aren't interested in.
I asked about it the man that shook the hand of my husband but not mine about this, he said because the rabbi told us. I found that hurting because to me not shaking my hand it meant "you are not worth my recognition as a human being".
I shake hands as I was taught as a sign of friendship and trust, "I see you as another human being." Also all we can learn in a business setting from a handshake! I would prefer to see if someone is creepy to avoid it through a handshake than to come closer and be in big trouble.
I never thought that this gesture could be seen as something sexual at all.
Thanks for sharing. It brings some understanding.
The majority of people don’t even wash their hands after the bathroom and then they are on their sweaty phones all day so that’s why I don’t shake hands anymore.
Facts
Nasty ppl
They're also touching their hair, face, buttocks, tables, phones, clothes
..etc all day !!!
Pretty grotty to not wash ones hands adter visiting the can! Surely covid sorted that?
@@maureensheppard3613Nope... I work retail and half the dudes don't wash their hands after taking a piss. Some don't even wash after number 2.
I love how religious people are able to twist the plain meaning of things like, "Don't make conversation with the woman" to mean "don’t objectify women." What a stretch!
Much respect from your Muslim brother...... WOW this hit me hard
We don't have 'Muslim brothers'. People are not one big family, happy or otherwise. It's disingenuous to the way G-d created all of us uniquely. Separately.
@@nomorecensoringmewhat are you saying
@@Wise__guy we are individuals within a group. The group is whatever it is, within another group and another. Separate. The one "uniting group" is humanity, though separate.
@@nomorecensoringme Thanks for making that clear. I was thinking otherwise.
This is why it's a good idea to have respect for religious traditions. For those with little or no self-control or discipline, these ideas would be beneficial to practice. They're all-encompassing and keep you out of trouble. But if you're capable of recognizing and maintaining boundaries on your own and keeping your impulses under control, then you don't need all these stringent restrictions on yourself. It takes patience, understanding, and intelligence but it's perfectly within reason for people to adapt their behavior to any situation based on the circumstances around them. But these ideas are still good ones to follow as a general rule of thumb.
Respectfully, in modern times, we don't like to admit to our vulnerabilities and weaknesses (especially the idea of temptation I think). As a male, I understand the fear to not be seen as a creep or an animal specifically in a sexual situation. Because there's an element of truth to it, I am not an animal, but I do have an extremely powerful one in me that I must harness. If you need somewhat of proof, consider how many modern males cannot stop themselves from consuming this content. (To make ourselves feel better, we pretend that it's a good thing, or a necessary thing, but if you take uncompromising steps to stop it, without worrying what the world will think, you can.
Thank you Rabbi.
Turning something as a respectful handshake into sexual intimacy is ridiculous 😒
no its not ... seems extreme but reading how many christian pastors have fallen into sexual sin they said it began with a hug and or hand shake.. then unnessary talks...
Once u[on a time, there was the saying, "A man's handshake is his word," meaning that the handshake agreement was as good as any contract. Women who began to enter business may have chosen to use the handshake in the same way that some men had been. The more I think abut this, the more I see that anything on this level could be controversial.
You caused me to think, What is 'controversial'? Not acceptable to "the world"? The masses? Personally, I don't let my actions, thoughts, etc, be dictated by others who, in reality, have no "dog in the race" of my existence and choices.
In recent years, the idea of "group think" has been gaining traction with some. For people who like to think for themselves, who don't need a consensus of acceptability, who have no issue accepting responsibility for their thoughts and actions, it's not valid.
I think it becomes complicated since noone is asking the women who started it what their motivation was, if they know, or would admit to it. Can't for some who are gone. The other idea is trying to make something universal when there's individuality involved.
Rabbi Friedman also shared that a handshake was a way of proving you "came in peace", as the saying goes, without a gun. Women weren't heavily armed were they?
What if you wear gloves when you shake hands. Is that a little less intimate?
Hi five! that will set the tone professionally. Clear the air with childhood practices. We never truly lose our inner child so why waste it when everyone is already misinterpreting a simple handshake?
First off, I think I've seen this guy in many stores at Christmas time sitting in a big chair with his red suit on taking orders from children of what's on their lists. Secondly, I wonder if he's really read all those books on the shelves behind him.
Isn’t he at a library?
I think you confuse him with someone, that's the headmaster of Hogwarts.
Absolutely right about the handshake. I am a Christian. A few weeks ago I had bought a duvet at a market. The vendor shook my hand and held it for 2 or 3 seconds too long. I knew this was a signal that he was available to have an affair. It was disrespectful and creepy and I now avoid this man like the plaque.
I grew up in a very strict Catholic family. I was brought up to always shake hands as a sign of RESPECT. I was also taught that as a woman I have the choice to allow a man to shake my hand by putting my hand out first. I always put my hand out first. If someone doesn't shake my hand that is a pure insult and disrespectful.
Plague. Plaque is on teeth.
@@beccamcdonald9846 Then you shouldn't mind if a man doesn't shake your hand. He probably feels more uncomfortable than you do.
@@ILoveMaths07 I feel it's very rude and disrespectful if someone doesn't shake my hand.....man or woman....gender doesn't matter. I don't see how anyone would feel uncomfortable around me....I'm an empath and I treat everyone with kindness and respect. Which is a moral that's lost.....
That’s just your view your painting on him but okay 2-3 seconds seems normal this is why I avoid women at all costs always accuse you of bs
Mr. Friedman this was very good. I always think I am smart, and I know I am :) because I feel I already knew this. However thank you for clarifying and articulate it. The knowledge has now moved from my unconscious to the conscious part of my brain. Great insight. You Rabbis Rock. Cheers
Many years ago, I was on a plane sitting next to a man on my left who was studying law. We talked about his journey through learning logic, and now I find that this is extremely relevant in my life, having been deprived of justice for so long.
B'ezrat HaShem, I can get the legal help I need.
I find this perspective interesting and there's something to appreciate in it but the truth is, 8 hours on a plane, man or woman, I love conversation. I'll gladly talk with anyone because I think every person is living an experience that can be learned from and through which we can learn about ourselves.
I can appreciate the angle that especially as a married guy, I shouldn't make conversation with a woman when it's my little head making the call but when it's this pure curiosity and quest for perspective, how is that wrong? I need more context.
Because intimacy should be protected. We are creatures that empathize and sympathize. Like you said, conversations are good way to get to know other people . The more people get to know each other, the more they become intimate and build chemistry. This is especially true for a male and female, where attraction will continue to build as they become closer to one another. This kind of attraction is even stronger than the superficial physical attraction, and could become dangerous if not between spouses.
@@metsrus thanks for your feedback. I think there’s something special about the kinds of relationships that can be born and die in a day on a train. I’m not yet ready to believe that will inevitably lead to adultery if that is what’s being implied here
@@LiamDangerPark haha, I hear ya. Just as long as you don't get her name and phone number and start looking her up on the internet, i guess it would be fine. But I think the point is that intimacy should be kept between spouses, and by getting to know another woman, you are opening a door for another possibility, no matter how improbable it is.
@@metsrus what if you see her as a potential spouse?
@@zeeqayum4834 i think that would be great if you aren't already married.
Call me old fashioned, having grown up in the South... traditional southern etiquette was to never extend your had to a woman....for a handshake 🤝 UNLESS she extended her hand out to you first. Thus avoiding making another feel uncomfortable, especially the lady.
I glad to thank God there is someone wisdom with right teaching It's true that's the reality.
I'm not Jewish but this guy has a lot of sense, and hes not insulting women by not shaking hands with them hes saying he wont have physical contact with women who are not in a relationship with him.
And he will shake hands with men as that used to mean something it was a sign of friendship or sealing a deal . years ago you didnt really need contracts because mens word meant something things used to operate on a handshake.
And a lot of the inter relationships between men are based on the idea of personal honour that you keep your word, and if you dont your less of a man . what hes saying is very wise
Very wise.
Sanity and common sense are reintroducing themselves back into the world.
Amazing.
I don’t think they left, only the spotlight moved. Distraction by programming.
This is the most common sense advice that I have heard in years- miss you, Jeff Nachman-
Hand shakes are an art. I respect a good handshake paired with eye contact. A limp hand from someone with their head turned the other way is unforgettable. Should be reserved for business only.
Very well explained by the Rabbi. Sexism as abuse does not come from recognizing differences but from generalizing. The idea of others in terms of gender, race and class is a form of cognitive bias that makes us see others as a thing, within a set of things, which in turn is also a thing.
Physical contact is intimate, even the shaking of hands. Thank you for acknowledging this Rabbi Friedman. You have spoken previous about the reality/materiality (?) of even thoughts and words, where even another person's thoughts can be experience as being intimate and intrusive of the integrity of ones personal space - i.e. as communicated with a look or even verbally (i.e. compliments, can be uncomfortably intimate and instrusive). If one expresses such discomforts one is labelled "frigid", which is not true, but i do feel uncomfortable when people do not acknowledge & respect my personal physical boundaries. Shalom ♡
Thanks for sharing.
That's why I hate shaking hands with people I don't know that well.
"If you don't respect intimacy, you're going to abuse somebody, purposely, accidentally..." Wow 😲 that's profound ❣️
In a professional set you can exchange business card . I live in Japan and here people don't shake hands.
That creates too much garbage-waste, cards thrown away. If people want to contact each other, in this age of cell phones and computers, it's not necessary to create waste.
👏🏾❤️Respect Intimacy.
True so true.. thanks for your wise words Hope WE all Learn so WE Can stop hurting the ones WE should Love and respect
Billie Crystal has aged well and became wise.
Not Jewish, don’t agree completely, but very respectable & articulated thought process on intimacy & what it means not just casual open contact.
The man has always treated me like I am invisible. I am beginning to think that I am 🤔
That's awful.
You're not. If someone doesn't see you, your abilities, humor, joy, pain, etc, that's them. Not you. If they don't, they don't. It doesn't mean you're not valuable.
You don't need to be seen through the eyes of another. Only the One Above, which will be reflected in the eyes of your "soul mate".
Sad to say, but I would rather be invisible, than a reality show. I hope you have a few friends that can make up for the current chill in characters expressed. It really is sad. Feeling you on the flip side!
I practice trying to be invisible in crowded places.
Problem is what if no one has anything to say.. No one would make conversation with anyone else, ever
It surprises me that the rabbi doesn’t have a more nuanced understanding of sexual abuse and even #metoo. Saying that #metoo has to do with “free love” as opposed to real intimacy feels like nonsense. Sexual abuse is always about power- the perpetrator is not looking for intimacy.
Moreover- when a society is extremely sexually suppressed and gender segregated, that does not eliminate sexual violence. On the contrary. As the rabbi must know too well.
He is saying that it is easy to sexually abuse someone by using the concept of free love as a shaming tactic.
This guy is on point!
Thank you. I stopped talking to women once I found my woman and my life is so, so much better. Now, women make covnersation with me and I am polite, but that's all.
thank you rabbi i am very pleased to be in your class and learn the wisdom that you share with your students of torah yeah! this is major advancement for my family tree, i made the effort to be true to the standard and principles of living a life of the covenant numbers 6:22-27. iam not a christian and i have choice and i choose torah.
Everyone has a 'choice' to learn where they hear knowledge and wisdom.
If I were to run a race, would it be wise to seek the counsel of paraplegics that never ran? No. Why are so many seeking wisdom from a man and group that habitually failed at following or understanding wisdom at every level throughout their existence...? It truly boggles the mind if anyone gives the question any level of actual thought.
@GØÐWIÑ if you trip and fall and become a paraplegic during your race, you may have done well atleast considering hearing any of their council and perspective. Paraplegics are sometimes born, but most likely have suffered an injury at some time, so unless you truly stick to the statement of only meaning paraplegics that have "never" run, then I would agree, but even paraplegics that have never run, may have had a dream of running and may have educated themselves about racing.
Maybe my point would be, that everyone has something to contribute.
Bible says anyways that God's wisdom is foolishness to man and vice versa, man's wisdom is foolishness to man.
It is for the wise to discern and for the fool to scoff.
Now that might sound like wisdom, but may not, because truly I'm just talking nonsense out of my ass after a 14 hour work day at 2am in the morning lol and that's just me being sleep drunk but honest 😴
@@aqua6613 I would give your words a lot more thought if you dared to openly address the latter part of my previous message, friend. If David, Solomon, any prophet or the like were here to offer wisdom - I would gladly shut my mouth entirely and staple my ears open to ensure I didn't miss a word. Unfortunately, they aren't and we're left with descendants thousands of years later that failed so miserably when given ample opportunities. I'm not hating them, as I love them truly, but I cannot perceive how so many Jews and Christians alike give their present-day teachings so much respect and devotion. Would NFL professionals ever race to learn from people that fell short of making even a reserve team in high school? No. It would be ridiculous beyond measure to even suggest otherwise. The wisdom in Proverbs is greater than ANY rabbi's offerings of today. Stick with the Word of God and not men guilty of continually failing throughout the ages.
@@Godwin420 in other words you're here to bash us? Troll around and get a few digs in, for entertainment? To raise others consciousness?
We know who we are, what we're here to do, and thankfully don't need your approval, or acceptance.