Our Queen, Hendes Majestæt Dronning Margrethe II, says about marriage: There are 3 in a marriage: You, me and us. Often the latter is forgotten and the marriage ends, unless both of you start to work with the US
We adopted the American way of wearing the wedding ring as we liked the "closer to your heart" explanation. Even though we're both Danish we met abroad and we fell in love over playing WoW. We also mostly speak English to each other and it says "soulbound" inside our rings. When it comes down to it it doesn't really matter where you wear it or if you wear one at all. The only people who it concerns is the couple :)
The pact hand was also the hand you used to handle a weapon and the old Norse (Vikings) where VERY big on promises and pacts so it was a serious thing to make a pact, Norse story is rife with the consequences of breaking pacts/promises. incl wiping out whole families and clans. The first Vikings where often but not always people that was chased away from home due to being chased down by irate family members at home and trying to gather enough loot to pay of a weregelt (blood debt) So the weapon hand is the one the deal was made with (Or you risked an axe to your head). It is rather facinating that when we are giving hands as a greeting it is *just* showing that you have no weapons you are ready to attack the other person with
Regarding the ring's placement. When you get engaged your engagement ring goes on the left hand and when you get married your wedding ring goes on the right hand. The old myth/tradition tells that the left hand is connected to the "love artery" that goes directly to the heart, so that is why the engagement ring goes on the left hand. The right hand is usually the one you use when making a promise, sealing a deal or make a vow, so that is why the wedding ring goes on the right hand, because it is the ring that seals the vows you make to each other.
@@TravelinYoung Also by tradition a man can have two wifes. One to each hand. Right hand marriage is a normal marriage. A women married to the left hand have no inherriantece rights. Neither does her children. Left hand marriages were of course only common with royalty and nobility. Often betwen a king and a commoner or a mistress. Try googling “ægteskab til venstre hånd”. Examples would be Frederik VI and Grevinde Danner or Frederik IV and Anne Sophie, who was latter married to the right hand.
@@heiditrampedach2084 it being common and exceptions from the majority are not different things. Like if 30% of the population is blonde and 70% of the population have dark hair, then being blonde is common, but it is also an exception to the majority. We know that getting married to the left hand must have been common enough or else we would not have rules, laws and sayings about it. Also more than a couple of kings were married to the left hand. I mean on the top of my head I can remember Christian 4., Frederik 4. and Frederik 7. That alone would make up 15% of the kings from the House of Oldenburg.
The explanation is that the engagement ring should sit on the left hand because the vein of love goes from the heart to the left ring finger. In the church, the right hand is used to take the vow of allegiance and therefore the wedding ring sits on this hand. At the end of the day, you decide which hand you want to wear your wedding ring, no law or requirement to wear it on either or at all.
It is not "free the cow day." It is the first-day cows, are put onto pasture. The cows are so exciting they are dancing. It is a big thing in Denmark, and many families go to see it.
In past times a couple of Danish kings married "to the left hand". They couldn't marry a woman who wasn't a Princess to the right (formal) hand, so they married to the left hand - fx Christian 4., who married Kirsten Munk in1615, Frederik 4, who first married Anna Sofie Rewentlow to the left hand in 1711 and to the right hand in 1721 after his queen Louise died, and Frederik 7., who married Louise Rasmusen (countess Danner after their marriage) in 1850.... so I guess that is alsois an explaination for why we wouldn't want to carry the ring on the left hand. Allmost all Danes got married until the late 1960's (student risings) And happy Birthday 🇩🇰🇩🇰🥂🎂🎉
The late 1960's is also called 2nd wave feminism, being responsible for abolishing the concept of Marriage and the idea of the Nuclear-Family. Pushing Promiscuity, Adultery and Hedonism equally.
Love to hear your thoughts on the differences! Totally recognize that we nordics just don’t get married. Since we have a concept for living together but not being married (samboer in Norwegian, probably something similar in Danish) certain rights and duties follow that. For instance help with fertility can be granted if the couple has lived together in minimum two years without marriage. And we can have access to each others accounts as “samboer” in Norway, just have to sign a paper in the bank. In Norway there are more couples living together below the age of 35 than those who are married to each other.
About the ever-changing weather in April: A long time ago, when all the months were to be given their individual weather, little April was playing, goofing around, and not paying attention. Eventually, all the weather was handed out to the other months, and April didn't get anything. The other months felt sorry for April, and they all pithched in, each with a little weather of their own. So April got a little bit of weather from all the other months. 😊
Live in Chicago, we have been in 2nd winter for awhile now. Spring will happen next week for 2 days and then back to winter AGAIN ! Keep up the great work, your videos are very enjoyable. I love Denmark.
I wear my wedding ring on left hand, to have right hand 'clean', so the ring is not interfering with tools etc. (I am right-handed). We were married in our garden by the mayor.
Oof, the Danes not marrying thing really hit home for me 😅 I found out in my late 20's that a couple I've known my whole life never had been married until they were about to retire. Not that there was anything odd about it, more that I always assume they already were married. Also, me and my boyfriend have been together for 13 years on May 1st. We started dating as 16 and 17 year olds, we have always agreed on never getting married. I think our choice came from our families backgrounds with a lot of divorces and also weddings being romanticized. The last 3 years or so we have actually discussed whether we should actually get married, just because there are things we cannot do just as a couple, but have to be married for. And that's the only valid reason to get married, in our eyes, because we don't think we need to sign a paper to know that we love each other. Society has made it so we actually need to, even if we don't want to. And that actually ties back to the couple I knew. They married that old, because there were things they couldn't do as an unmarried couple.
That sound like a healthy relationship with sound decisions on how you want to live. My husband and I are still calling each other for kærester as that’s the important part of our relationship. We mostly got married because we wanted to give my husbands grandmother and the rest of the family one last celebratory party before dementia took over.
My husband didn't want to get married as it was just a piece of paper and that shouldn't matter if you love each other. Even though I wanted the wedding I had accepted that. Then one day he appeared and told me "have you seen what we can save in insurances if we're married? And legally we have other rights as a married couple too" So I guess we got married for practical reasons XD ... I got my wedding though and he got to feel rational about it so it's all good :)
You can basically go to a church, and get married on a Sunday during any regular service. I’ve heard that’s the cheapest. Or your local mayor’s office.
Enough really good explanations for why the ring goes on the left/right hand 😉 Danes know about the bank accounts..usually the banks will tell you about this fact, if not...then it's a bad advisor Tillykke! Happy B-day! 🥳 7.4.22 4 seasons in one day!! wild April weather! 🌧☀️🌬❄️🌦 Second winter, like an Indian summer! Great chat, guys I went to happy cow day, today! 🐄 hello from Hundested 🌸 🌱
Interestingly though, the person who had this issue that I know is Danish and has always lived in DK. I think some things in DK banks/whoever just take for granted that everyone would just know. No one told us when we initially setup our accounts. Anyway, thankfully we know now. BTW, the cows were fun and thank you for the birthday greeting :).
People are mentioning that the ring is on the right hand which we use for making a pact. What you may not know is that in Denmark a marriage is not sealed with a kiss, but with a handshake. When the couple have said their yes to each other, the priest tells them to shake hands on it (“Så giv hinanden hånd derpå”), places his hand on their joined hands and proclaims them man and wife in the eyes of God and men. Traditionally, deals and agreements are entered into with a handshake.
Interesting, perhaps Miranda and I were danish all this time. A little known fact about us is that we met while working at the same employer. To avoid issues by being seen as a couple, we would always shake hands as our way to express how we cared for each other. We even developed a secret handshake that only we knew about. We’d use it when we wanted to kiss but couldn’t.
Congratulations to your parents Josh and Happy Birthday 🇺🇸🇩🇰🇺🇸🇩🇰 I hope you both had a wonderful day. My husband and I have been together 25 years ( 26 in December) we just got married last year. He did however propose 8 years ago but we just never got to it. It was more common for people my parents age to get married young because of financial security, but today you just don’t need that. We wanted to use our money to travel and see the world instead of a huge wedding and we only invited 2 people to our wedding last year.
I know it's a tad late, but generally, in Danish Luthereanism you are married on the right hand (the oact hand as someone wrote below). In has been a tradition since the reformation to distinguish from the catholic tradition, where the ring goes on the left hand.
Most Danes in work have a life insurance with their compulsory pension scheme. And that gets paid out to your spouse/SO within days. That solves a lot of issues with waiting for the estate to be clarified.
I swear I almost fell down the couch, the first time I saw "Jean-luc Picard" in one of your videos. Glad I'm not the only one who noticed.🙈😂 Happy B.Day.
Thankyou for this one on marriage. Love to follow you here on youtube. You are awesome :-) What about affections? Josh, You talk about your grandparrents and parrents and their love for each other, and how they showed it. Are you more private in that matter?
It's also the right hand you would put on the heart. Engagement ring goes on the left hand and most women like to keep it on when marriaged. And btw - happy birthday 🎂 🎈 🇩🇰 and congratulations to your parents 💑
Me and my wife don't wear wedding rings, we have them, but almost never wear them, but when we do we wear them on whatever hand we want. :D For us, it doesn't matter if it is worn "correctly" or even at all, so I couldn't tell you why some people wear them one way and why others wear them another way. But I can wholeheartedly agree on giving each other space and doing individual things. That is very important to my wife and I as well. As we say, "Vi sidder ikke lårene af hinanden", which pretty much means, we don't feel the need to do everything little thing together.
Congratulations on your birthday yesterday 🎈🎈🇩🇰🎂🎈🎈 and on your parents' wedding day 🎉🎉💖🎉🎉. I went to Efterskole and met my first boyfriend there, we got engaged on my 18th birthday, engagement ring in Denmark is a smooth ring like a wedding ring, but it sits on the left hand. When I got married I got ring on my right hand. So most older Danes will assume that you are a couple who live together but are not married, which is very normal in Denmark.
I've only ever attended a single civil wedding at City Hall and I quite liked the ritual. Not least that it only took about 10 minutes before it was over unlike a church where a wedding takes atleast an hour to perform. I've probably mentioned it before but the former ambassador to Denmark under Obama, Rufus Gifford, entered into civil marriage with his husband at Copenhagen CIty Hall to celebrate the fact that Denmark was the first country to allow same-sex unions. Edit: And belated congrats on your birthday 🎂🎁🍰🎈🍺💟
@@TravelinYoung My gosh, how Miranda looks exactly like your daughter in that wedding picture. The hair, the face, everything. Now I know where she got her looks from.
Wearing the weddingring on your right hand is actually a CONTINENTAL costum. My husband is Austrian, I'm Dane we wear our weddingrings on our right hand. We have each our bank account and have had from the beginning.
The engagement ring goes on the left hand because that’s closest to the heart string and it symbolizes the love. And the wedding ring goes on the right hand because that is the ring you make your wedding vow with. About bank accounts, I learned about that when my Dad died and my mum Saw his accounts being frozen. She fortunately had her own account but it’s still a hard blow.
There’s this old Danish proverb about the weather this time of year: “April, april, gør som den vil”. Or in English: “April, April, does whatever it wants.” Basically, the weather in April is really unpredictable.
Regarding bank acounts; it is also posible to have a shared account where you both have the rights so if one dies, the other still has all the rights to the money. That is how they do debt, you do not get to loan a lot of money and the die without your spouse having to pay that money back :D Also if you get divorced and have a shared loan, if one doesn't pay and has nothing for the bank or creditcompany to take. Then the ex just hangs on the full amount. So yeah think future when it comes to money decisions
Part of the marriage ritual is to “give hand” sealing the pact which supposedly should be the reason as that is done by the right hand. Most wear the ring on left hand during the engagement period. Also the old kings often had a wife (mistress) married to the left hand 🤓
Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary. About the joint bank accounts and death. If death is expected you always make sure that you have withdrawn enough cash to get by for a while. If not, somebody close to you should hurry to the cash machine and withdraw as much as possible.
Happy Birthday Josh. 🍰 🍵And congratulations to your parents too.♥ I believe that ring on the left hand means that one is engaged, and on the right hand means that one is married. But I do not know how many still use it. Im looking forward to see your Easter beer tasting next time,🍻 and see who the secret guest is ! 🤭 By the way, is 50 years of marraige called gold wedding in the usa too ?
Awesome. Happy anniversary to your parents. Is it celebrated with a big party like here? I remember my grandparents 50's anniversary. I've been married for almost 36 years. But we never got weddi g rings ... we had our engagement rings, they look pretty much like wedding rings, only they're silver since we don't really like gold. I wear mine on my left hand.
Thanks! It depends I'd say. We are all pretty spread out geographically so it is tough to arrange a party. I hope to see them later in the year so I can celebrate by taking them out to dinner.
In Denmark, Norge, Germany, Polen and a few other contries, the tradition is right hand for marrige. In England they used left hand and so did there christian colonies.
I didn't really understand why Miranda's friends thought that jacket(?) was such a horrible gift. But then again, I need you guys to remind me that easter is coming so it is probably just another example of me being out-of-touch with standard conventions ;) (btw.. "nuclear family" = "kernefamilie" with "kerne" meaning "core")
I think it was a lot of things. Josh and I have always had joint goals and those goals often required a lot of commitment. Things like saving to buy a house within our first year of marriage or living very frugal lives so we could travel were really important to us. That just didn’t really jive with being in your mid 20s. Some of my friends made the assumption that Josh was controlling and not a thoughtful husband. I think it was because I always felt super awkward turning them down when they asked me to go out so they took that as me feeling repressed. Really, I just felt out of place. To them, the jacket was not at all romantic not understanding that you can be a woman and also not like stereotypically romantic things. They saw that he didn’t buy me flowers and jewellery (which are things they expected) and I think they thought I was a bit of a doormat. In reality, I just hate typical romance stuff. It feels super shallow and performative. To me, the jacket was super romantic because he knows how much I love football and it was the year of the Germany World Cup so I was so excited to wear it. Later on, I think they started to understand that we were actually happy so they got it more.
I see mariage as a religious thing. So I'll never get married. In Denmark the norm (majority) is actually living together without being married. I've been in two serious relationships without marriage. Got four children out of it, and life is just good. Been single for the last 8 years though, and I'll probably stay single. 46 and hungry for life. Love your channel 💖
That is interesting, because we are not at all religious but marriage is important to us. I think some religious ideals can get passed along as a norm over a few generations without really realizing it, that could likely be the case with marriage in the US. I know a number of non religious people who still get married since it is a bit embedded in society as a concept. And the laws/financial rules support it.
Happy Birthday :) .. 2nd winter can happen here too even as late as early May has had below zero degrees where people had been doing spring gardening and most of the newly planted stuff got wrecked by frost.
One time in Chicago I bought a ton of beautiful flowers in mid May and had to bring all of them in one night because it frosted. After that, I vowed to never buy flowers until June 😂 - M
You make agreements, deal and pacts with your right hand. Thats why we shake hands before the alter Only the king could be "maried" to his left hand; to his mistrees
The really big one seems to be divorce. As I understand it, you can get ruined by a messy divorce in the US, while in Denmark it costs a few hundred kroner to get divorced.
unless there are children and you can't agree on where they will live. Then you can easily end up in a year long legal fight at "familieretshuset" (that the mother wins 80% of the time...)
Yes, if you have shared economy, have bought a house together after the marriage, bought an expensive car which the wife or husband has a right to use, then these are shared items and as such they must be divided. So yes, it can gets REALLY expensive.
I think these scenarios above are the reasons why it could be messy in the US as well. Four big factors in the US financially have to do with 1) how long you've been married before divorce, 2) income gap between husband and wife, 3) wealth accumulated during marriage which should be divided equally, and 4) kids and their ages. If you've barely been married, make no money, have no assets and no kids, divorce would be fast and cheap in the US I am sure.
@@TravelinYoung I may have gotten a skewed view of the difference, but from the sources I have been through over time, divorce seems to be big business in the US, in line with it(the US) being known for being rather litigious. On the other hand I have to admit that I know much less about the situation in Denmark, other than that getting an "amicable" divorce is rather cheap, and it's just my assumption and limited empirical knowledge that suggests it's much less of an issue here. And I'm not going to suggest it for a try it on tuesdays ;p
The reason why the wedding ring is on the right hand in Denmark, is because when you make the wedding vows, the couple places their right hand on the Bible at that time.
Honestly for me i dont believe en marriage, at least not the church kind. A will can do exactly the same as a marriage certificate. I just dont feel like its right to get married in a church when you are not truely christian, and i am not. But it's still beautiful to see people stay together for 81 year its amazing. Congrats to your parents and yourself ;)
The problem is that in the US many states don’t automatically recognise long standing partners as being your legal “next of kin. If you are incapacitated and you have not given your partner power of attorney, they have no legal right to make medical decisions. It goes to your parents regardless of the state of your relationship with them. your partner could know your wishes about care but be totally powerless. If you die, your parents could have more legal standing to take guardianship of your children and ownership of your assets than your partner. So, in the US, the legal implications of marriage are extremely important.
@@TravelinYoung showing just how big a role religion play in the US. Even in states where people are not that religious. Over the last few decades a lot of danish laws have been changed to make a partner the same legally as a person you are married to. The moment you lived together for 2 years you are in many ways treated as a married couple would be. And the same if you have children together.
I think a lot of the marriage thing has to do with religion. There's still the underlying ideal in the states, that sex before marriage is this huuuuge sin...so marriage is a bigger deal and many danes consider that thinking quite antiquated
I don’t think that is as true today as in the past. I have found that the average person in the US is no more religious than in DK. And ironically DK has far more religiously based bank holidays than in the US :).
@@TravelinYoung LOL...try taking the religious holidays from the Danes...all of a sudden, we are all VERY religious (as long as it doesn't affect other aspects of our lives). Even though modern day America may not be as openly religious and condemning as they once were, it has become a part of the culture that they live by (as I see it), and the whole marriage before kids is still the way that is most acceptable (even if reality is different). Moral er godt, dobbeltmoral er dobbelt så godt - as we say in danish
When the gods Should give all the months their special weather they realised that they had forgotten one month. That was april! Therefore they took a little from all and gave it to april. And thats why you can experience all kind of weather in the month of april.
WOW! 5 minutes in, and i have to comment, Josh, huge congratulations with your lovely parents! and even your grandparents, what a beautifull achievement they all have accomplished! (im only going on 14 years of marriage) . Congratulations on your 46th birthday ! :) and what you're saying about rolemodels in our parents marriages, is completely true! We can admire their commitments, but we shouldnt copy their reciepe, we live in a completely other lifetime, where things are waaaay different, and therefore cannot compare. So many importent points, of which i agree with all of them, within the first 5 minutes, equals another great video from you guys! love 'em ! (ps how much had you guys had to drink before turning on the camera ? :P )
Nuclear family in danish = Kernefamilie 😊. Congratulations to your parents 🇺🇸 ! Your Grandparents must have gotten married really young, for them to be married 80 years 👍❤️👍 !? That's so life-affirming 😉 !! Funny you should mention the ring finger thing. We Danes wonder why people from English speaking countries, wear there wedding ring on the left 😲 ? I've heard that it's a cultural thing..., without that really making anyone the wiser 🙄. Here. If someone met you and didn't know, they'd think.., how nice.., they finally got engaged 😍 ! Took them long enough 🤣 ! Basically people get married for the same reasons as in the States, apart from also love. Protection for the spouse, if anything was to happen to you. I have married friends who have joint bank accounts, so it's possible. LMAO ! Welcome to Denmark ! The only country where you can experience all 4 seasons in one day 🤣 ! We have 2 Winters. A White one and a Green one 👍. Last but not least. Joshua. I hope you had a very 🇺🇸Happy Birthday🇺🇸 ! Congratulations ☺️ !!
Hi Its actually not that uncommon to not be married but to live as a couples in Denmark 523878 single men, 582013 single vomen, 536998 Marriages , 208216 other couples, 166 868 Other households including more than 1 family so around 69,8 % of danish couples/households are not married. Take myself i was only married because i had to go on a UN peace keeping mission with the army back in the nineties and if i had died there she would have had no monetary protection but we had 2 kids at the time that's since been change as Danish soldiers have been in warzones continually from around 1990 and until present day. But we have lived as a couple for 34 years but only been married for 27 years and we wouldn't have been married if not for my going to the former Yugoslavia. Also unmarried couples have almost the same rights and privilege's as married couples (Basically what you in the US would call Common-law marriage or something close to that) But instead of declaring it , it just kicks in after a certain amount of time and living together off course there is some kind of administration but its a long time ago and its change so many times since. 😉
The kind of weather you describe, is so common in April, that we have a term for it. "Oh, it was hails and sunshine at the same time, but that's 'April Weather' for you!"
FYI april 9 1940 is the day Denmark got occupied by Nazi Germany. Tillykke med fødselsdagen Josh, I would sing for you if I could. But you can have the lyrics :) : I dag er det Josh's fødselsdag hurra hurra hurra Han sikkert sig en gave får som han har ønsket sig i år med dejlig chokolade og kager til.
Our Queen, Hendes Majestæt Dronning Margrethe II, says about marriage: There are 3 in a marriage: You, me and us.
Often the latter is forgotten and the marriage ends, unless both of you start to work with the US
Left hand -> engagement. (Promising hand)
Right hand -> marriage. (Pact hand)
Nuclear family in danish is “kernefamilie”.
Happy birthday, Josh. 🎂🇺🇸🇩🇰
Yeah. But it doesn't explain why we wear our rings opposite of each others cultures 😉 !
We adopted the American way of wearing the wedding ring as we liked the "closer to your heart" explanation. Even though we're both Danish we met abroad and we fell in love over playing WoW. We also mostly speak English to each other and it says "soulbound" inside our rings. When it comes down to it it doesn't really matter where you wear it or if you wear one at all. The only people who it concerns is the couple :)
The pact hand was also the hand you used to handle a weapon and the old Norse (Vikings) where VERY big on promises and pacts so it was a serious thing to make a pact, Norse story is rife with the consequences of breaking pacts/promises. incl wiping out whole families and clans.
The first Vikings where often but not always people that was chased away from home due to being chased down by irate family members at home and trying to gather enough loot to pay of a weregelt (blood debt)
So the weapon hand is the one the deal was made with (Or you risked an axe to your head).
It is rather facinating that when we are giving hands as a greeting it is *just* showing that you have no weapons you are ready to attack the other person with
The right hand is the most important hand. If you're right-handed that is.
Let's just say it's a cultural thing.
In Denmark, we place the ring on the ring hand, because that is the hand you use, when you make a pact. :D
How would an American know what a 'ring hand' is?
And we don't think about our heart that much.
Regarding the ring's placement. When you get engaged your engagement ring goes on the left hand and when you get married your wedding ring goes on the right hand.
The old myth/tradition tells that the left hand is connected to the "love artery" that goes directly to the heart, so that is why the engagement ring goes on the left hand. The right hand is usually the one you use when making a promise, sealing a deal or make a vow, so that is why the wedding ring goes on the right hand, because it is the ring that seals the vows you make to each other.
That is so interesting! Thank you for the explanation! - M
@@TravelinYoung Also by tradition a man can have two wifes. One to each hand. Right hand marriage is a normal marriage. A women married to the left hand have no inherriantece rights. Neither does her children.
Left hand marriages were of course only common with royalty and nobility. Often betwen a king and a commoner or a mistress. Try googling “ægteskab til venstre hånd”.
Examples would be Frederik VI and Grevinde Danner or Frederik IV and Anne Sophie, who was latter married to the right hand.
@@MrGeneration83 Only a couple of Kings married to the left hand. That's not what I would call common, they are exceptions.
@@heiditrampedach2084 it being common and exceptions from the majority are not different things. Like if 30% of the population is blonde and 70% of the population have dark hair, then being blonde is common, but it is also an exception to the majority.
We know that getting married to the left hand must have been common enough or else we would not have rules, laws and sayings about it.
Also more than a couple of kings were married to the left hand. I mean on the top of my head I can remember Christian 4., Frederik 4. and Frederik 7. That alone would make up 15% of the kings from the House of Oldenburg.
The explanation is that the engagement ring should sit on the left hand because the vein of love goes from the heart to the left ring finger. In the church, the right hand is used to take the vow of allegiance and therefore the wedding ring sits on this hand. At the end of the day, you decide which hand you want to wear your wedding ring, no law or requirement to wear it on either or at all.
It is not "free the cow day." It is the first-day cows, are put onto pasture. The cows are so exciting they are dancing. It is a big thing in Denmark, and many families go to see it.
Aha! They have "kosläpp" (releasing cows) in Denmark too. It's bloody fun to watch!
In past times a couple of Danish kings married "to the left hand". They couldn't marry a woman who wasn't a Princess to the right (formal) hand, so they married to the left hand - fx Christian 4., who married Kirsten Munk in1615, Frederik 4, who first married Anna Sofie Rewentlow to the left hand in 1711 and to the right hand in 1721 after his queen Louise died, and Frederik 7., who married Louise Rasmusen (countess Danner after their marriage) in 1850.... so I guess that is alsois an explaination for why we wouldn't want to carry the ring on the left hand.
Allmost all Danes got married until the late 1960's (student risings)
And happy Birthday 🇩🇰🇩🇰🥂🎂🎉
The late 1960's is also called 2nd wave feminism, being responsible for abolishing the concept of Marriage and the idea of the Nuclear-Family.
Pushing Promiscuity, Adultery and Hedonism equally.
Love to hear your thoughts on the differences! Totally recognize that we nordics just don’t get married. Since we have a concept for living together but not being married (samboer in Norwegian, probably something similar in Danish) certain rights and duties follow that. For instance help with fertility can be granted if the couple has lived together in minimum two years without marriage. And we can have access to each others accounts as “samboer” in Norway, just have to sign a paper in the bank. In Norway there are more couples living together below the age of 35 than those who are married to each other.
About the ever-changing weather in April:
A long time ago, when all the months were to be given their individual weather, little April was playing, goofing around, and not paying attention. Eventually, all the weather was handed out to the other months, and April didn't get anything.
The other months felt sorry for April, and they all pithched in, each with a little weather of their own. So April got a little bit of weather from all the other months. 😊
Live in Chicago, we have been in 2nd winter for awhile now. Spring will happen next week for 2 days and then back to winter AGAIN ! Keep up the great work, your videos are very enjoyable. I love Denmark.
Thanks, so glad you enjoy!
I wear my wedding ring on left hand, to have right hand 'clean', so the ring is not interfering with tools etc. (I am right-handed).
We were married in our garden by the mayor.
Happy birthday and congrats on the 22 (24) years! 🥳
Tak!
About frozen bank accounts: If you are paying bills automaticly e.g. PBS from that account, the bills will continue to be payed in the frozen preriod.
I have said IT before, its so awesome to see your appetite for life and other cultures.
Thanks, that is nice of you to say :).
I wish you a very happy life. Enjoy every day!
Oof, the Danes not marrying thing really hit home for me 😅 I found out in my late 20's that a couple I've known my whole life never had been married until they were about to retire. Not that there was anything odd about it, more that I always assume they already were married. Also, me and my boyfriend have been together for 13 years on May 1st. We started dating as 16 and 17 year olds, we have always agreed on never getting married. I think our choice came from our families backgrounds with a lot of divorces and also weddings being romanticized. The last 3 years or so we have actually discussed whether we should actually get married, just because there are things we cannot do just as a couple, but have to be married for. And that's the only valid reason to get married, in our eyes, because we don't think we need to sign a paper to know that we love each other. Society has made it so we actually need to, even if we don't want to. And that actually ties back to the couple I knew. They married that old, because there were things they couldn't do as an unmarried couple.
That sound like a healthy relationship with sound decisions on how you want to live. My husband and I are still calling each other for kærester as that’s the important part of our relationship. We mostly got married because we wanted to give my husbands grandmother and the rest of the family one last celebratory party before dementia took over.
My husband didn't want to get married as it was just a piece of paper and that shouldn't matter if you love each other. Even though I wanted the wedding I had accepted that. Then one day he appeared and told me "have you seen what we can save in insurances if we're married? And legally we have other rights as a married couple too" So I guess we got married for practical reasons XD ... I got my wedding though and he got to feel rational about it so it's all good :)
You can basically go to a church, and get married on a Sunday during any regular service. I’ve heard that’s the cheapest. Or your local mayor’s office.
3:06 I had that same ehhm comment on my birthday :)
Enough really good explanations for why the ring goes on the left/right hand 😉
Danes know about the bank accounts..usually the banks will tell you about this fact, if not...then it's a bad advisor
Tillykke! Happy B-day! 🥳 7.4.22
4 seasons in one day!! wild April weather! 🌧☀️🌬❄️🌦
Second winter, like an Indian summer!
Great chat, guys
I went to happy cow day, today! 🐄
hello from Hundested 🌸 🌱
Interestingly though, the person who had this issue that I know is Danish and has always lived in DK. I think some things in DK banks/whoever just take for granted that everyone would just know. No one told us when we initially setup our accounts. Anyway, thankfully we know now.
BTW, the cows were fun and thank you for the birthday greeting :).
Happy belated Birthday Josh! I really enjoyed this video. Have a great weekend!
Thanks so much!
Tillykke med fødselsdagen, Josh, happy Birthday. 🙂
Tak!!
For danes, the wedding ring is on the left finger, from what ive been told, its because it closer to your heart
People are mentioning that the ring is on the right hand which we use for making a pact. What you may not know is that in Denmark a marriage is not sealed with a kiss, but with a handshake.
When the couple have said their yes to each other, the priest tells them to shake hands on it (“Så giv hinanden hånd derpå”), places his hand on their joined hands and proclaims them man and wife in the eyes of God and men.
Traditionally, deals and agreements are entered into with a handshake.
Interesting, perhaps Miranda and I were danish all this time. A little known fact about us is that we met while working at the same employer. To avoid issues by being seen as a couple, we would always shake hands as our way to express how we cared for each other. We even developed a secret handshake that only we knew about. We’d use it when we wanted to kiss but couldn’t.
@@TravelinYoung That’s so sweet 🥰
Kernefamilie. Happy birthday Josh 🇩🇰
Tak!
Congratulations to your parents Josh and Happy Birthday 🇺🇸🇩🇰🇺🇸🇩🇰 I hope you both had a wonderful day.
My husband and I have been together 25 years ( 26 in December) we just got married last year. He did however propose 8 years ago but we just never got to it. It was more common for people my parents age to get married young because of financial security, but today you just don’t need that. We wanted to use our money to travel and see the world instead of a huge wedding and we only invited 2 people to our wedding last year.
Thanks, it was a great day! If we got married now it would be something small. There are definitely more practical things to spend money on.
I know it's a tad late, but generally, in Danish Luthereanism you are married on the right hand (the oact hand as someone wrote below). In has been a tradition since the reformation to distinguish from the catholic tradition, where the ring goes on the left hand.
Most Danes in work have a life insurance with their compulsory pension scheme. And that gets paid out to your spouse/SO within days. That solves a lot of issues with waiting for the estate to be clarified.
I swear I almost fell down the couch, the first time I saw "Jean-luc Picard" in one of your videos. Glad I'm not the only one who noticed.🙈😂 Happy B.Day.
Thanks! Stay tuned, he's back in tomorrow's episode :).
Mawage! Mawage is what bwings us togevuh tooday
Thankyou for this one on marriage. Love to follow you here on youtube. You are awesome :-) What about affections? Josh, You talk about your grandparrents and parrents and their love for each other, and how they showed it. Are you more private in that matter?
It's also the right hand you would put on the heart.
Engagement ring goes on the left hand and most women like to keep it on when marriaged.
And btw - happy birthday 🎂 🎈 🇩🇰 and congratulations to your parents 💑
Thank you!
I was like 12 when my parents got married, that was mainly for the rights it gives them as a married couple.
I’m so excited to hear that you are going to Elton John and especially to Queen and Adam Lambert😎 This will be my 8 and 9 time attending QAL🙌👍 Enjoy😉
Me and my wife don't wear wedding rings, we have them, but almost never wear them, but when we do we wear them on whatever hand we want. :D For us, it doesn't matter if it is worn "correctly" or even at all, so I couldn't tell you why some people wear them one way and why others wear them another way.
But I can wholeheartedly agree on giving each other space and doing individual things. That is very important to my wife and I as well. As we say, "Vi sidder ikke lårene af hinanden", which pretty much means, we don't feel the need to do everything little thing together.
Congratulations on your birthday yesterday 🎈🎈🇩🇰🎂🎈🎈 and on your parents' wedding day 🎉🎉💖🎉🎉. I went to Efterskole and met my first boyfriend there, we got engaged on my 18th birthday, engagement ring in Denmark is a smooth ring like a wedding ring, but it sits on the left hand. When I got married I got ring on my right hand. So most older Danes will assume that you are a couple who live together but are not married, which is very normal in Denmark.
Thanks, it was a great day.
Good advice regarding bank accounts!
I guess Maya is learning new stuff about your marriage also. 🙂
I've only ever attended a single civil wedding at City Hall and I quite liked the ritual. Not least that it only took about 10 minutes before it was over unlike a church where a wedding takes atleast an hour to perform. I've probably mentioned it before but the former ambassador to Denmark under Obama, Rufus Gifford, entered into civil marriage with his husband at Copenhagen CIty Hall to celebrate the fact that Denmark was the first country to allow same-sex unions.
Edit: And belated congrats on your birthday 🎂🎁🍰🎈🍺💟
Thanks! Our wedding was pretty fast, as we preferred to spend more time at the party :).
@@TravelinYoung My gosh, how Miranda looks exactly like your daughter in that wedding picture. The hair, the face, everything. Now I know where she got her looks from.
Wearing the weddingring on your right hand is actually a CONTINENTAL costum. My husband is Austrian, I'm Dane we wear our weddingrings on our right hand. We have each our bank account and have had from the beginning.
my friend's parents got married on their 25th engagement anniversary
Cute!
The engagement ring goes on the left hand because that’s closest to the heart string and it symbolizes the love. And the wedding ring goes on the right hand because that is the ring you make your wedding vow with.
About bank accounts, I learned about that when my Dad died and my mum Saw his accounts being frozen. She fortunately had her own account but it’s still a hard blow.
Happy birthday Joshua ☕🍰🇩🇰🙂
Thanks!
There’s this old Danish proverb about the weather this time of year: “April, april, gør som den vil”. Or in English: “April, April, does whatever it wants.” Basically, the weather in April is really unpredictable.
Tillykke med fødselsdagen igår 😀👍🇩🇰🇺🇲🎁🎂🍾🌞🌞🌞
Tak!
Regarding bank acounts; it is also posible to have a shared account where you both have the rights so if one dies, the other still has all the rights to the money. That is how they do debt, you do not get to loan a lot of money and the die without your spouse having to pay that money back :D Also if you get divorced and have a shared loan, if one doesn't pay and has nothing for the bank or creditcompany to take. Then the ex just hangs on the full amount. So yeah think future when it comes to money decisions
Congratulations 🌹🇩🇰🎉🍰 to all of you ☺️
Thanks!
Tillykke med fødselsdagen, Josh
April is a very difficult girl, she is differant every day
True, and thanks for the birthday congrats!
Part of the marriage ritual is to “give hand” sealing the pact which supposedly should be the reason as that is done by the right hand. Most wear the ring on left hand during the engagement period.
Also the old kings often had a wife (mistress) married to the left hand 🤓
Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary. About the joint bank accounts and death. If death is expected you always make sure that you have withdrawn enough cash to get by for a while. If not, somebody close to you should hurry to the cash machine and withdraw as much as possible.
Thanks!!
Happy Birthday Josh. 🍰 🍵And congratulations to your parents too.♥ I believe that ring on the left hand means that one is engaged, and on the right hand means that one is married. But I do not know how many still use it. Im looking forward to see your Easter beer tasting next time,🍻 and see who the secret guest is ! 🤭 By the way, is 50 years of marraige called gold wedding in the usa too ?
Thanks! Yes, I think it is gold in the US as well.
Happy birthday :)
Thanks!
81 years! Oh my.. hold my horse, that’s a Long time 😳 oh btw happy birthday 🌸
It is amazing! And thanks, my birthday was great!
Awesome. Happy anniversary to your parents. Is it celebrated with a big party like here?
I remember my grandparents 50's anniversary.
I've been married for almost 36 years. But we never got weddi g rings ... we had our engagement rings, they look pretty much like wedding rings, only they're silver since we don't really like gold. I wear mine on my left hand.
Thanks! It depends I'd say. We are all pretty spread out geographically so it is tough to arrange a party. I hope to see them later in the year so I can celebrate by taking them out to dinner.
In Denmark, Norge, Germany, Polen and a few other contries, the tradition is right hand for marrige.
In England they used left hand and so did there christian colonies.
I didn't really understand why Miranda's friends thought that jacket(?) was such a horrible gift. But then again, I need you guys to remind me that easter is coming so it is probably just another example of me being out-of-touch with standard conventions ;) (btw.. "nuclear family" = "kernefamilie" with "kerne" meaning "core")
I think it was a lot of things. Josh and I have always had joint goals and those goals often required a lot of commitment. Things like saving to buy a house within our first year of marriage or living very frugal lives so we could travel were really important to us. That just didn’t really jive with being in your mid 20s.
Some of my friends made the assumption that Josh was controlling and not a thoughtful husband. I think it was because I always felt super awkward turning them down when they asked me to go out so they took that as me feeling repressed. Really, I just felt out of place. To them, the jacket was not at all romantic not understanding that you can be a woman and also not like stereotypically romantic things. They saw that he didn’t buy me flowers and jewellery (which are things they expected) and I think they thought I was a bit of a doormat. In reality, I just hate typical romance stuff. It feels super shallow and performative. To me, the jacket was super romantic because he knows how much I love football and it was the year of the Germany World Cup so I was so excited to wear it.
Later on, I think they started to understand that we were actually happy so they got it more.
Those short hale storms are not unusual in Denmark. They can even happen in May.
We had them a lot in Chicago too but it’s still wild to see them when they are on the edge of a cloud with blue skies on the other side. - M
@@TravelinYoung
We usually say that in April you can experience all four seasons in one day.
81 years of marriage, wow. I’m on 32
It is insane, we are so lucky to have seen it first hand.
Tillykke med fødselsdag den 7/4 🇩🇰🇩🇰🎂🎊🎁🎉😊
Thank you!
I see mariage as a religious thing. So I'll never get married. In Denmark the norm (majority) is actually living together without being married. I've been in two serious relationships without marriage. Got four children out of it, and life is just good. Been single for the last 8 years though, and I'll probably stay single. 46 and hungry for life. Love your channel 💖
That is interesting, because we are not at all religious but marriage is important to us. I think some religious ideals can get passed along as a norm over a few generations without really realizing it, that could likely be the case with marriage in the US. I know a number of non religious people who still get married since it is a bit embedded in society as a concept. And the laws/financial rules support it.
25 år: Sølvbryllup, 25 years: Silver wedding, 50 år: Guldbryllup, 50 years: Golden wedding, 60 år: Diamantbryllup, 60 years: Diamond wedding, 65 år: Krondiamantbryllup. 65 years: Crown diamond wedding,
70 år: Jernbryllup, 70 years: Iron wedding, 75 år: Kronjuvelbryllu, 75 years: Crown jewel weddin, 80 år: Egebryllup, 80 years: Oak wedding, 90 år: Granitbryllup, 90 years: Granite wedding.
Happy Birthday :) .. 2nd winter can happen here too even as late as early May has had below zero degrees where people had been doing spring gardening and most of the newly planted stuff got wrecked by frost.
One time in Chicago I bought a ton of beautiful flowers in mid May and had to bring all of them in one night because it frosted. After that, I vowed to never buy flowers until June 😂 - M
You make agreements, deal and pacts with your right hand. Thats why we shake hands before the alter
Only the king could be "maried" to his left hand; to his mistrees
Nope: There are no 'rules' in Denmark regarding the ring - but different family or folklore traditions.
Sounds like the word you're hunting for is "kärnfamilj" (but with a Danish spelling).
I think it has to do with religion and career in Denmark the reason why we either don't marry or get married late.
tillykke med fødselsdagen
Tak!
Two special guests for a beer tasting.. Could it be Robe Trotting? 😁
Good guess, but not robe trotting this time. These two are in the beer industry. Perhaps I’ll make a few instagram stories today while we shoot.
@@TravelinYoung maybe my old school mate Ole Dam from Aarø brewery?
The really big one seems to be divorce.
As I understand it, you can get ruined by a messy divorce in the US, while in Denmark it costs a few hundred kroner to get divorced.
unless there are children and you can't agree on where they will live. Then you can easily end up in a year long legal fight at "familieretshuset" (that the mother wins 80% of the time...)
But will that cost hundreds of thousands of kroner?
Yes, if you have shared economy, have bought a house together after the marriage, bought an expensive car which the wife or husband has a right to use, then these are shared items and as such they must be divided.
So yes, it can gets REALLY expensive.
I think these scenarios above are the reasons why it could be messy in the US as well. Four big factors in the US financially have to do with 1) how long you've been married before divorce, 2) income gap between husband and wife, 3) wealth accumulated during marriage which should be divided equally, and 4) kids and their ages.
If you've barely been married, make no money, have no assets and no kids, divorce would be fast and cheap in the US I am sure.
@@TravelinYoung I may have gotten a skewed view of the difference, but from the sources I have been through over time, divorce seems to be big business in the US, in line with it(the US) being known for being rather litigious.
On the other hand I have to admit that I know much less about the situation in Denmark, other than that getting an "amicable" divorce is rather cheap, and it's just my assumption and limited empirical knowledge that suggests it's much less of an issue here.
And I'm not going to suggest it for a try it on tuesdays ;p
The reason why the wedding ring is on the right hand in Denmark, is because when you make the wedding vows, the couple places their right hand on the Bible at that time.
Honestly for me i dont believe en marriage, at least not the church kind. A will can do exactly the same as a marriage certificate. I just dont feel like its right to get married in a church when you are not truely christian, and i am not. But it's still beautiful to see people stay together for 81 year its amazing. Congrats to your parents and yourself ;)
The problem is that in the US many states don’t automatically recognise long standing partners as being your legal “next of kin. If you are incapacitated and you have not given your partner power of attorney, they have no legal right to make medical decisions. It goes to your parents regardless of the state of your relationship with them. your partner could know your wishes about care but be totally powerless. If you die, your parents could have more legal standing to take guardianship of your children and ownership of your assets than your partner. So, in the US, the legal implications of marriage are extremely important.
@@TravelinYoung showing just how big a role religion play in the US. Even in states where people are not that religious.
Over the last few decades a lot of danish laws have been changed to make a partner the same legally as a person you are married to. The moment you lived together for 2 years you are in many ways treated as a married couple would be.
And the same if you have children together.
I think a lot of the marriage thing has to do with religion. There's still the underlying ideal in the states, that sex before marriage is this huuuuge sin...so marriage is a bigger deal and many danes consider that thinking quite antiquated
I don’t think that is as true today as in the past. I have found that the average person in the US is no more religious than in DK. And ironically DK has far more religiously based bank holidays than in the US :).
@@TravelinYoung LOL...try taking the religious holidays from the Danes...all of a sudden, we are all VERY religious (as long as it doesn't affect other aspects of our lives). Even though modern day America may not be as openly religious and condemning as they once were, it has become a part of the culture that they live by (as I see it), and the whole marriage before kids is still the way that is most acceptable (even if reality is different).
Moral er godt, dobbeltmoral er dobbelt så godt - as we say in danish
Is it Mike and Derek who's your special guests?
Unfortunately it is not, we’ve got some beer experts joining us :).
Will you be going for the celebration of your parents guldbryllup?
Unfortunately I won’t get the chance travel to the US, but I will see them later this year.
For a dane, marriage is not essential. I think because of the way we built our society women are not "forced" to marry for security.
When the gods Should give all the months their special weather they realised that they had forgotten one month. That was april! Therefore they took a little from all and gave it to april. And thats why you can experience all kind of weather in the month of april.
WOW! 5 minutes in, and i have to comment, Josh, huge congratulations with your lovely parents! and even your grandparents, what a beautifull achievement they all have accomplished! (im only going on 14 years of marriage) .
Congratulations on your 46th birthday ! :) and what you're saying about rolemodels in our parents marriages, is completely true!
We can admire their commitments, but we shouldnt copy their reciepe, we live in a completely other lifetime, where things are waaaay different, and therefore cannot compare.
So many importent points, of which i agree with all of them, within the first 5 minutes, equals another great video from you guys! love 'em ! (ps how much had you guys had to drink before turning on the camera ? :P )
Haha, this time we didn't start drinking until we turned it on. But it had been a long day :).
Dansing cow day 😄
Exactly, it was super cool to see in person.
Out of my 5 siblings, discounting myself and one other, and also my parents only got married after they'd had their second child.
Nice catching up. Gotta work on the "påskebryg" pronunciation though, Josh :-D
Back home in the US. Does that mean that Denmark is not home or that you plan to return to US in the future (permanent?) 😏
We plan to stay here in DK, but while my parents still live in the house I grew up in I’ll consider it my home.
My wife and I have a joined account where we have full access. No problem. Also in case one of us dies.
Nuclear family in danish = Kernefamilie 😊. Congratulations to your parents 🇺🇸 ! Your Grandparents must have gotten married really young, for them to be married 80 years 👍❤️👍 !? That's so life-affirming 😉 !!
Funny you should mention the ring finger thing. We Danes wonder why people from English speaking countries, wear there wedding ring on the left 😲 ? I've heard that it's a cultural thing..., without that really making anyone the wiser 🙄. Here. If someone met you and didn't know, they'd think.., how nice.., they finally got engaged 😍 ! Took them long enough 🤣 !
Basically people get married for the same reasons as in the States, apart from also love. Protection for the spouse, if anything was to happen to you. I have married friends who have joint bank accounts, so it's possible.
LMAO ! Welcome to Denmark ! The only country where you can experience all 4 seasons in one day 🤣 ! We have 2 Winters. A White one and a Green one 👍.
Last but not least. Joshua. I hope you had a very 🇺🇸Happy Birthday🇺🇸 ! Congratulations ☺️ !!
They were a bit young, but they also lived to be 101 years old :). Thanks the birthday was wonderful.
Hi
Its actually not that uncommon to not be married but to live as a couples in Denmark
523878 single men, 582013 single vomen, 536998 Marriages , 208216 other couples, 166 868 Other households including more than 1 family so around 69,8 % of danish couples/households are not married.
Take myself i was only married because i had to go on a UN peace keeping mission with the army back in the nineties and if i had died there she would have had no monetary protection but we had 2 kids at the time that's since been change as Danish soldiers have been in warzones continually from around 1990 and until present day.
But we have lived as a couple for 34 years but only been married for 27 years and we wouldn't have been married if not for my going to the former Yugoslavia.
Also unmarried couples have almost the same rights and privilege's as married couples (Basically what you in the US would call Common-law marriage or something close to that)
But instead of declaring it , it just kicks in after a certain amount of time and living together off course there is some kind of administration but its a long time ago and its change so many times since. 😉
The kind of weather you describe, is so common in April, that we have a term for it.
"Oh, it was hails and sunshine at the same time, but that's 'April Weather' for you!"
In April you’ll get all four seasons in the same day. 🌞❄️🌦🌱
FYI april 9 1940 is the day Denmark got occupied by Nazi Germany. Tillykke med fødselsdagen Josh, I would sing for you if I could. But you can have the lyrics :) :
I dag er det Josh's fødselsdag hurra hurra hurra
Han sikkert sig en gave får
som han har ønsket sig i år
med dejlig chokolade og kager til.
should josh need a new job he could allways open a pub/bar :D
Right? At this point we have enough stock in our liquor cabinet alone just from all the Try It on Tuesdays 😂 - M
"puskebrug"? OK, my French is worse. 🙂🥃😄 Much worse.