How to Deal with Disappointment in Life
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- Being disappointed can hurt so much, that if it happens too many times, many of us stop having hopes and dreams altogether so that we can avoid the pain of disappointment.
Yes, this strategy works in the short-term, but it can fail in the long term because without hopes and dreams becoming fulfilled we often settle for a disappointing life.
ruclips.net/user/TheFormerShy...
I don’t think the answer is to stop having expectations and give up your hopes and dreams, but rather, develop a healthy attitude and coping strategy to make sure the disappointment doesn’t destroy you. I’ll give you 5 ideas to help you do just that.
One thing is to rely on wisdom instead of luck. One reason I say disappointment happens to all of us is because doing the right thing sometimes leads to wrong results and vice versa.
Now, just because the person who made all the wrong choices lived longer, doesn’t mean their choices weren’t foolish. Because if these unhealthy choices were played out in millions of lives, the outcomes would be more disastrous for a majority of them.
Life is filled with uncertainty and isn’t always fair, sometimes wise choices lead to unlucky outcomes, and sometimes poor choices lead to lucky ones, but if you’re banking on luck throughout your life, you’re banking on a life of disappointment. Choose to operate from wisdom instead.
The next thing is avoid the land of Er. I learned this concept from Andy Stanley. We often think that an “er” is holding us back from being content. If only we were rich ER, slim ER, smart ER, and the list goes on and on that life would be better. But this pursuit is a trap because the pursuit of more is an appetite that can never be satisfied.
The next thing is to own your part.
It’s hard for us to accept the role we play in our disappointments. It’s much easier to blame the negative outcome on something outside ourselves and feel like a victim. For example, I’ve made hundreds of videos on this RUclips channel and I’ve been disappointed that I haven’t gotten more views and subscribers.
Now, I could say that I’m just unlucky and blame the RUclips algorithm, but saying this just makes me come across as a whiny baby and won’t change anything. I’m better off realizing
That I’m at least partially responsible for the lack of results I’m having. If I don’t like the results I’m getting I need to be doing something different, whether that’s putting more effort into my videos, publishing more often, changing the style of the videos, etc.
The same is true for you. Whether it’s your dreams that aren’t currently working out, or past relationships that haven’t worked out. The cause of the negative outcome may have little to do with you, It may have been due to another person, or something happened that was completely out of your control.
However, there’s a chance that you did play a part in it even if it’s a teeny, tiny part. Be willing to own the part you played in it, and learn from it. Also, possibly make the necessary changes needed to avoid the same disappointment in the future.
Number 4 is to diversify. Life could be very stressful if you have all your money in one stock. All it takes is for that company to make one mistake and go bankrupt, and you have lost everything. Financial advisors often advise to not put all your eggs in one basket and diversify your money. The strategy works emotionally in your life as well and can diminish the effects of disappointment.
And lastly, your relationships are your safety net. I’m learning throughout my life that disappointment will occur from time to time in your life and you will experience many emotional falls. However, when you have people in your life who are there for you whether you succeed or fail, they act like your safety net, and are able to catch you when you’re falling.
Keep these 5 ideas in mind as they can help you deal with disappointment in life. Thank you for watching and I’ll see you in the next video.
1. Rely on Wisdom Instead of Luck
2. Avoid the Land of Er
3. Own Your Part
4. Diversify
5. Relationships Are Your Safety Net
The Other Side of Life by Michael Unks-Affiliate Link to Amazon listed below..
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How to Deal with Disappointment in Life 
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1. Rely on Wisdom instead of luck
2. Avoid the land of "er"
3. Own your part
4. Diversify
5. Your relationships are your safety net.
And to understand the above points you have to watch the full video. You are welcome. 👍
There's the common problem with this, that at the start you warn people against giving up their hopes and dreams, but being satisfied with what you already have to the point that you don't care about things being any better is just another way of doing that.
This is all great for people who have small disappointments, or infrequent large ones. This video does not speak to those who feel massive disappointment throughout life. It’s not that I’ve not tried. I’ve tried very hard. I’ve failed at everything I’ve set out to do, and I watch my dreams die like leaves in the fall. When I create new dreams those melt away too. So I just try to expect nothing, that doesn’t help, nor does mental illness. I am hopeless, and that hurts less than having hopes that get dashed again and again
So which is it? You need hopes and dreams or don't expect much?
You make some valid points Stephan. My take is that the first step is frankly to just accept that feeling disappointed in life is not unique to you. Acknowledging how you feel; accepting it for what it is, can help you reassert your perspective. This in turn can put you in a better place to start tackling it. For one thing it helps with finding clarity. Combating feelings of disappointment, as with any negative mindset, requires a determination and commitment to reset your thinking so that you can widen your choices. Choices such as, I make my life, I decide what success means and I choose want I want my life to be from now on. Crappy things are always going to happen in life. The best way to overcome those times, is to learn to disassociate from the emotional fallout, so you have dominion and choice over your behaviour and reaction to them. If your goals and dreams feel unattainable, take some time to understand why and try adapting them to something more realistic. If by doing this you edge closer to your goal, the dream may well shift to being within your reach.
I really liked your comment, thank you
I 'm learning about disappointment. I was denied twice for my dream job but Im ok this time around. I realize my part in this. My background and age is the problem.
What’s your dream job?
@@MichaelUnks Dees nuts
U put the facts here. But it is meaningless if we cannot control everything in our life
Well explained and illustrated.
Thanks for the upload and best of good fortune to you, and your pursuits
Thanks! You too!
Very insightful points made.
Thank you for this.
It's a good start to rethinking your part in disappointments.
You’re welcome! Glad to hear it was helpful
I had to sign in to like this video. Keep up the good work
Signing in just to like it? Wow, thanks for the support!
Brill video with some simple but true points !
Great video! Thanks!
"We're not disappointed right now because we don't have more of what we lack. We're disappointed because we're not content with what we have."
That hit like a gut punch. So true.
Great to hear it helped.
This is really helpful.
Thanks, man! You're a lifesaver ❤
You’re welcome!
Thankyou for your video.The drawings are good and the explanation was clear and straightforward.Being popular isn't always good.Some of the crassest things or people are popular.
Thanks a lot for your kind words!
Thanks Michael! I really appreciated this.
Happy to hear you got value from it!
Thank you you help me alot today ❤
All thanks to you for this wonderful content
You’re welcome and thank you for watching!
Good morning today I have to realize I have to stop worrying and frustrated about being in a job I hate, attracting the wrong men, not having my drivers license and I hate how my life can be dealing with judging ass people and racist 🤦🏽♀️🙏🏾
Number 5 is new advice for me😯💞
Thank you for such a great content!!
Thank you for watching!
Just found you and love your videos!
Thanks A lot!
Thoughts prior to this video:
1. We accept(face)what is happened(I am feeling disappointed because….)
2. We decide to not make the disappointment mean something is wrong with us.
3. We look over what happened and see if there is anything we can modify so that if we make a better decision in the future.
Thanks Michael, another insightful video. I've been trying to diversify with some hobbies lately and it definitely helps. For 4 years my main "hobby" was long distance running. A year ago I injured my foot and I'm still not running. It's been really challenging, but a few weeks ago I started drawing. I found it meditative at times. Add this to trying to play guitar more often and I think it's helping with the lack of running.
Just out of curiosity, have you tried some of the tips in this post about getting RUclips views. I subscribe to your channel but I don't use the bell as my phone distracts me enough already. Even though I've watched a number of your videos, liked them and commented, RUclips rarely, if ever shows your videos in my feed.
Thanks a lot for your take! I also recently stopped running due to an injury and have found other creative outlets to be helpful.
As far as the tips, I’m not sure what I need to be doing to grow the channel and the lack of growth is discouraging at times, but I try to focus on showing up each week and at least trying to put something of value out.
@@MichaelUnks Sorry, I was supposed to include this link
unamo.com/blog/social/21-tips-on-how-to-get-more-views-on-youtube-for-free
Are you using "tags" at least?
@@iduncanw good! When you mentioned the list of tips I was wondering where they were lol. I do use tags! I thing my biggest issues over the years has been not having a clear focus on topics I cover(my topics are all over the place) and lack of consistency. I appreciate you trying to help me grow! I’m trying to hang in there and learn as I go
@@MichaelUnks well for what it's worth Michael, I think you're doing a great job and I really enjoy your videos. Have a great day 😎
I appreciate you saying that! Hope you have a good day as well!
All I can say is THANK YOU.
You’re welcome ☺️
Thank you, we are reposting this video at selfhelpchampion❤️🙏selfhelpchampion
4:11 you broke your own ER rule "More effort" "LongER" videos Publishing "MORE" often etc
man... that was a good advice ❤️
That’s great to hear, thanks!
Thank you
You’re welcome!
Great video!
Thanks a lot!
Yes I was hoping or dreaming to get government teacher job... But according to the new qualification criteria I m nt able to get a job... It's broke me...
What criteria are you not meeting?
I stop having hopes and dreams.
That’s not applicable to me
Why do you feel that way?
thank you
You’re welcome ☺️
The wisdom is it’s all bullshit and luck whether you try hard or not. It’s a game of dice from beginning to end no matter how you try and throw them so throw them and be done with it
Good Video
This did not help.
I guese the proffesionel that im paying and my mother,
will have to give me the tools to dig myself out of this depress and desapointing hole.
Nyc
What?
@@MichaelUnks nice
Oh, I thought you were saying New York City lol
@@MichaelUnks 😂😂