If there is one thing all of humanity hates, it is a bully. If there is one thing that galvanizes us, it is calling us cowards. if there is one way to get our aid, it is to point us at your bully, and say we'd be cowards to not take them on.
You say anything that can be interpreted as a challenge to a human and more often than not they will respond with more effort and energy than you expected.
War came on the first race, they burned in the fires of their own weapons. Pestilence came after, the second race stuck low by their own disease. The 3rd suffered famine, their world scoured clean of the only resource they valued. Now rides the 4th, the ashen horse is summoned to deliver judgement to the universe.
I love how this one was written, and how humans don’t help him right away ( we can be very spiteful and uncaring when our trust is betrayed) but they do let him run ( i don’t think they intended to shoot him in the back )
I really do love that about this one. They usually just went KoS, but let the beat down guy run. Instead he called them cowards and shot his own damn engine, that's some kinda goddamn commitment to crazy right there
Considering ambassador ships had previously entered human space but none had survived to return... The humans were definitely going to shoot this one in the back like all the others.
I feel like the humans cultivated such an air of death and force that they wouldn't send proper comms in the heat of battle, they would just fill enemy comm channels with thousands of recordings of every species screaming for them to run.
"Through the hoards of pleas for death in every known language, I could pick out nay but a dozen screaming 'run' in my native tongue. But what haunts me most is the one that whispered 'run, run you fools' and so I did." Something like that?
@@jackgooge9538 Hello Universe! Could you all stop whizzing about, because I. AM. TALKING! Look at us. No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh and something else. We don't have anything to lose. So if you're sitting up there with your spaceships and yyor silly little guns, remember every black day we ever stopped you... And then, do the smart thing, and let someone else try first.
"I fear we have awaken a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrifying resolve" - Any military commander after thier state/country/empire makes a bad military decision.
There should totally be a civic for this. Like, I would love civics that unlock mid play through instead of the most interesting ones being game start only it would make reforming your gov have more relevance after you get that thirds civic slot and increase empire roleplayability
My first stellaris game. Lets all be friends. And then they decided killing space whales should be legal was more important then the scourge and we all died. Game 2. KILL ALL ORGANICS
i tried to play as a mega corp and just wanted to bring prosperity and business all across the galaxy. All my neighbours hated me and wanted to kill me, i had to dig in HARD to survive and i and the people of the mega corp HANZA, said "FUCK IT WERE GOING XENOPHOBIC ITS REALLY IN THIS YEAR", those aliens no longer exist
Remind me of the time I got rekted by the space hippies of the galaxy. The were fanatic xenophiles and pacifists. Still, they decided I was bad enough THEY would declare war, as I was stuck with a lower fleet power. Always watch out for the space hippies.
Can't blame Humanity for taking it's ball and slamming the door shut behind them in this one....but at the same time the brave little guy calling them out had a point. Really liked this one
The Dreen commander stood on the bridge, watching his fleet move into orbital position to continue the assault. No... assault was not the right word. The right word was extermination. Another bombardment was ready, they were already near position and another of those helpless settlements would be destroyed in just a few moments. As always, the hatchery first, the. Everything else. No quarter given, no survivors allowed. Then the long range scanner operator spoke up. "Commander... there are seven new contacts..." "Ignore them. Prepare to open fire." "Commander, you really should lo-" "More of these pathetic insect ships won't make any difference. We will deal with them when we have finished our bombardment, like the rest." "Commander, you NEED to-" The ship went dead, the lights went out. No, not dead. Only the active systems, he realized after a brief survey of the bridge. Looking out over his fleet, he saw all their engines and lights had gone out, too. That's when the comms system cracked to life. One single word, broadcast in their own language at maximum volume across his entire ship. Across every one of his ships, he knew. "*STOP*" The commander realized he had no choice but to obey, he and his fleet already HAD obeyed. He looked to the scan officer. "Who are the contacts?" He asked... a quaver in his voice. "The computer is still identifying the ship profile, it's something that hasn't been seen in recent memory." He paused, and stared. "Is that the result?" "Yes. But it can't be... it can't!" "WHO ARE THEY, OFFICER?" "Humans! Oh, gods save us they're humans!" The comms system cracked to life again. But this time, it wasn't a command... It was music, a simple melody at first that crashed into loud and chaotic song. And then the singing.. "THIS IS YOUR TIME TO PAY, THIS IS YOUR JUDGEMENT DAY-" "Get us online! NOW!" "Controls are not responding!" He looked out over the chaos as the crew scrambled to do something... ANYTHING... all of them repeating that same mantra. The song blasting from comms made his tympanic drums ring violently. "YOUR LIFE IS OVER NOW, YOUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT-" The Dreen commander could only stare in horror at the six hulking war behemoths approaching swiftly, accompanied by one single tiny ship clearly belonging to the worthless insects below. "-WHEN YOUR TIME IS AT AN END, THEN IT'S TIME TO KILL AGAIN" The human ships opened fire in exact time to the chaotic crash of the song. Ship after ship exploded, shot to the tiniest pieces of debris by a precise calculated bombardment with the exact ease that the Dreen had cleared this planet's defenses away. Nothing was working. No weapons were even powering up. No ships even fired their engines. They were doing nothing. They COULD do nothing. The Dreen Commander stared as his fleet was torn apart as if it was nothing at all. "YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIE! YOU BETTER GET READY TO KILL! YOU BETTER GET READY TO RUN 'CAUSE HERE WE COOOOOME! YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIIIIE!-" The human ships turned their cannons on his flagship and moments later, the Dreen commander knew no more. "YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIE!!" The song continued, on all frequencies the Dreen used. A warning. A promise. The humans were coming. They had better start running. And they had better get ready to die.
I knew watching Hellsing Abridged will help me get that song. Fuck yeah!!! By the time we've spent in Isolation and look what happens. Peaceful worlds are being exterminated, while the Galactic fucks are Invading.
Humans: Oh cool we'd love to join everyone here Aliens: Brutalize and humiliate their people The Doctor popping in on high level multialien diplomatic meetings: "Have you ever heard of the saying 'Demons run when a good man goes to war?' I thought not, have fun!"
Dreen scan officer: fleet master we detect 6 ships appearing beyond weapons range Dreen fleet master: who are they and what do they think 6 ships can do against our thousands Dreen communications officer: the ships identifying them selves as human and command us to run Dreen fleet master: WTF
When the other Alien race was asking the humans for mercy and offered money I thought I was about to hear. “We don’t want your money, we want your souls. BURN”.
Lowkey psychological warfare given how humanity started as a predator who'd let their prey run themselves to death. Almost like a callback to a more ancient side of humanity while also telling that other race they are no more than prey to us.
This is my second favorite next to a less used trope of Humans as Precursors. Where Humans happened to be the first into space and by the time other races see humanity that have tech so advanced it’s indistinguishable from Magic.
“Turn on his engine, let him run away” “Sir... he just shot his engine with a pistol” “Excuse me?” “He can’t leave, he intentionally shot his engine with his pistol and will not move, he also was very aggressive in his communication about how he won’t move.” “Huh... reminds me of something but I can’t put my finger on it.” -2 days later- “... OH SHIT THAT’S JUST LIKE US! JENKINS! BRING HIM ON BOARD!!!”
@@AgroSquerril be nice if this hade a follow up for you to voice , might not be the most 'nuanced' universe... but i cant help to love the thought of a underdog being trampled by the assholes of the region only for one of its numbers returning after running of with a titan from ther nightmares at its side
So, you pissed off the humans….we shall inform your allies of your demise, Your resources will be given to them as per galactic law along with this message: Don’t piss off the humans.
I think it would very much be the equivalent to an amputation. From the foolish species' perspective, the galaxy just goes dark as all communications aimed at them cease entirely and all outgoing comms have no response. Pure silence everywhere as all their neighbors completely cut them off in every way possible. The nearby species immediately pull back from any worlds bordering their territory to avoid getting caught up in the mess so when they go to investigate the silent treatment, they find completely unpopulated planets... and then planets in their own empire start to go dark. No distress signals, no sign of anything out of the ordinary, comms just suddenly cut out as though switched off system-wide. The silence swallows entire sytems they claim one by one until none remain. When the final world goes dark, the other empires know that a species has gone extinct and swoop in like vultures to fight over the now dead worlds and humanity returns to dormancy, the dragon once again sleeping until the next foolish species decided to draw their ire.
Oh no, our little buddy Jav'een has reminded us of who we are. We're not stopping with them. You have preyed on the weak as you did with our race for far too long. Judgment day is upon you.
An old human commander sits at his console, a cigarette smoldering between his fingers as he flicks through several abbreviated documents. Grinding the cigarette out in an ashtray made from an old piece of the ships plates he signs a memo and looks at his assistant "Warm the engines, it's time we showed some humanity"
@@PlagueRunner well even if you are running out of man power you can still recall some of your more experienced pilots and give older ships to the unproven noobies
Commander of the Third Response Unit. "Is that our FTL fighter that went AWAL two weeks ago?" "Yes sir." replied Tactical. " A pilot Jav'een." "Tell him to dock his ship and report to the nearest airlock for summery execution!" Sir, he said that he brought help. He said the Humans are following him and they're on our side. The commander looked in disbelief at his screen. "Well if he opened the gates of Hell and charmed the Fleet of the Damned to save us then I guess we better hold off on that firing squad."
Seriously one of the most impactful stories ive heard so far, from the bright optimism, then dark and brooding anger, then cold fury of revenge, to stoic silence apathy and lack of faith, before a quiet resurgence of hope in a brighter future
Two days later, Jav'een's ship seemed to suddenly appear in Balken space, just outside the battlelines. Jav'een: "Calling the third response unit, this is Pilot Jav'een. Is anyone still there?" Command: "Pilot Jav'een? How dare you return to the Balken Empire, you coward! Have you come home to die?" Jav'een: "Not exactly..." Suddenly, 6 Huge ships shimmered into view, interspersed amongst the Threen Bombardment fleet. No sooner had they appeared to fully materialize then the Threen ships started to disintegrate around them. For a few moments, the sky lit up like a sunny day. Jav'een: "I went off to look for help where no one would go for fear of what we may find." Control: "And what...er. who did you find? Jav'een: "Humans. Look what followed me home! Can we keep them?"
@@GenJeFT Remember Serbs, 1000 guns for years firing on CIVILIAN Sarajevo, heavy mortar round on market place and busy street in the middle of the day, mass killing in Srebrenica? You got away WAY TOO easy.
next chapter please. i wanna know what devastation is brought upon the galaxy, their reactions when humans awoken from their 600 year slumber. how these species will react when the was got settled. man such a cliffhanger xD
The other races of the Galaxy tremble with fear as all the comms in the galaxy start to play the opening stanza of the Ancient War Song of the Humans; ' Other On Bites the Dust' Followed by 'Thunderstruck'.
The six Human ships bypassed the Dreen Battlelines and fortifications appearing next to the Dreen Homeworld's Star. Each ship fired a single projectile at the star, and blinked away after broadcasting a new message.....BURN. Hours later the star went nova.
A human detonates a warhead called ragnarok and destroyed tenths of thousands of planets, aestroids and ships in one collateral yet well-aimed strike. Human General: "Well, that's all done, It was honestly dissapointing to see them all dead in a week, but since no one was hurt on our side, all is fine right?" Alien Elder General: ... Human 1: "Oh don't give me that look, you should be grateful we're on your side, the clowns of war species. You don't like it when the cattle starts eating the wolves correct?" Alien 1: "General, I-" Human General: "Before you think of killing me, let me remind you my species kept this all hidden war technology, the reason why we're always doing this stupid infighting is because if we did worked together as one kind, your uniforms will be exchanged for prison clothes and be sent to work until the flesh falls off your bones, not allowed to rest until we locate the material we want, so tell me general, are you going to keep your end of the bargain and free those terran colonies? Or should I tell my crew to fire one more round into your HQ, it's awfully close if you think about it."
Tens of thousands of planets?? A warhead with an explosion the size of a supernova or hypernova? Damn, that's like a type 2 kind of human civilization. Not even the Galactic Empire from star wars nor the Imperium of man have such such an absurd weapon.
@@yaboialphapsi-krieger2709 I'd imagine it being like: Fractal Warhead, composed of multiple layers of casette warhead, with power of smallest part as full-potential Tsar bomb. Unending storm of atomic/antimatter chaos, driving in warp space until target is reached, and decimating as much targets as needed.
@@Crazylom the destructive and technological level of that fractal warhead is pretty much the same as the one i depicted, except it doesn't explode once only but scattered and with warp shenanigans. Still a good idea tho.
Humans don't like to be called cowards. We really also don't like bullys. And God help us, we really don't want to look in a mirror if we see a bully win and we could have stopped it.
No matter the species, when he started shouting defiant crap in the mike and shot the shit out of his own ship rather than leave I recognized him as a Brother!
Personally I would expect the rest of the Galaxy at Large to turn on them. Once they realize that this species has aggravated the nightmare that is humanity. The humans will only need to do it once or twice more to bring absolute civilization to the entire galaxy. As civilization based on the simple thought... If we do not handle the problems internally then the humans will come. The monsters under the bed. We can slack off and let Petty bullies destroy but if we do we risk waking them again. No it is better for us that we destroy those who would break the rules... Because we will be merciful. Humanity will not. If humanity sails again... They will once more bring death and destruction to entire empires. When the humans leave their very very isolated home... The worlds of their enemies simply cease to be. There is no peace if humanity is woken. Better for all of us that you stop now... Before you wake them again. Because each time you do not only your race but every race that they find negligent or guilty by association fall under their hammer. This is something that has been forgotten here on Earth the last century now. Ever since the first of the Geneva accords. Before that wars were much more rare. Because you... knew... That if a war truly began the destruction would be epic. Even the mightier nations, the ones that knew they would win, knew that conduct war at all would end not only lives but the very Nations they came from. Yes in that time before, the destruction was never truly massive because the technology was not there yet. But they knew that to begin war was the end for someone. And then we wrote rules for warfare because our leaders could not see a way to keep from fighting over the stupidest things. In a century since the first Geneva Accord there has not been a single day in which there is not a war somewhere on this planet. Not one. Civil wars, rebellions, border skirmishes, and proxy wars have not given us a single day... Not one... Since humanity declared that rules would make it so that we could fight our wars without feeling guilty about them. The reason that ambassadors are considered untouchable happened nearly a thousand years ago. The Mongol hordes riding across the Middle East sent diplomats to talk to the people of another country. But this King was one who truly believed that he was blessed by the gods and had no fear of anyone. He tortured and killed those diplomats. And then the horde came. The king and his country ceased to be. Leveled so completely that even today it has not been truly rebuilt. Since that time there have been other brutal and stupid dictators. But the overall March of civilization has continued to because almost every time a dictator or other tyrant demonstrates himself to be so stupid, the rest of humanity swatted them down so hard that they ceased to be as a people. People talk about the cruelty and brutality of The Man who would inspire Dracula. But if you look at what is left of his country... All the terror he inspired inspired his enemies to be even more. His country nowadays is a small footnote of a Nation who exist over the last century as almost just a football thrown between the powers. And this has happened before. Peace at any price... Once again I hear it. And I think of every time that it has been said before. The politicians of that race trying to negotiate peace when everyone knew very well that it was not going to be... Eventually The barbarians come. As the story of the Norse ravaging northern Europe... Trying to maintain peace with them only strengthens them. But even right now there are those that the others do not bother because it is better that they be left to sleep.
"To all Threen in Balkan space... Run" Within one hour all contact with the nearest outpost world is lost. At 1st it's thought to be a technical issue, but the reinforcements also disappear without a single message being sent back. A day later another conquered world goes dark, and next day another. The Threen stationed never send a distress call or report. It's a if they just disappear. Intercepted Balkan transmissions speak of system-wide blackouts setting all ships adrift just before alien warships appear from nowhere. They destroy ever Threen vessel and facility, then disappear. Entire galaxy collectively sh*ts pants trying to confirm that their fears aren't true.
A week later, an entire Threen fleet would go dark, a message appearing on their comms before their fiery end...a message from the Humans, the mythical race of Vengeance personified, which contained only a single word that promised not even the merest sliver of pity or quarter... **DIE**
yoo the name of that guy who wrote the story, barsoom is the name native people on mars gave to mars in the movie "john carter" damn this brings some memories,good times also balkans? seriously XD
Do not ever think to remind me of myself. As I know my own failings far better than anyone else ever could. Remind me instead of what I would strive to be. Encourage me to be better than I am.
Six angular ships stabbed back into Realspace at the edge of the system. The Threen warfleet's alarms began to blare alarms as weapons locked onto them. Their systems then began to fail, one by one, until only the engines, navigation, and one comms monitor remained active. That monitor scrawled a single word, from right to left. *RUN*
At a galactic scale, only empires would survive. Governments that use republic, heaven forbid democracy, would come to a screeching halts as bureaucracy would gum up the gears completely. We already have problems with nations having this style of government, let alone our planet. Even relatively uncorrupt governments of those types move at a snail's pace
I think it depends on why human has formed the unity (or at least the group that officially represents humanity) in terms on the story. If it doesn’t represent the reason for unity, I personally think that’s a miss opportunity. It is possible that the humans in this story were called something like the ‘Terran Alliance’ before getting screwed over so much that they became xenophobic and renamed themselves as the ‘Terran Empire’.
@@dragonheart5312 Ironically, the bureaucracy here in the US at least was originally intended to make things faster. While Congress debated, the bureaucracy could offer a response to a situation within the scope of the (supposedly) limited powers delegated to them by Congress. Unfortunately, bureaucracy is like a parasitic fungus: it will grow unchecked unless it runs out of resources or is actively poisoned.
the threens be like when they see the humans:"why do I hear boss music...." 5 seconds later threens:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
If there is one thing all of humanity hates, it is a bully.
If there is one thing that galvanizes us, it is calling us cowards.
if there is one way to get our aid, it is to point us at your bully, and say we'd be cowards to not take them on.
I don't want to kill anyone.
I just don't like bullies. Doesn't matter where they come from.
- Steve Rogers.
You say anything that can be interpreted as a challenge to a human and more often than not they will respond with more effort and energy than you expected.
@@fist-of-doom487 I put it as 'Tell a human they cannot do something and they will damn well succeed out of spite.'
@@GuukanKitsune I mean a good portion of humanities greatest accomplishments did come by trying to prove a point
@@pandaman8405 The point tended to be 'Fuck you, I can so do it, try and stop me!'
"The humans answered"
And the galaxy shuddered,
for the last rider had come for his due.
And his name was War
@@BeefMeisterSupreme war is the first
@@BeefMeisterSupreme death*
War came on the first race, they burned in the fires of their own weapons.
Pestilence came after, the second race stuck low by their own disease.
The 3rd suffered famine, their world scoured clean of the only resource they valued.
Now rides the 4th, the ashen horse is summoned to deliver judgement to the universe.
And riding a pale horse
I love how this one was written, and how humans don’t help him right away ( we can be very spiteful and uncaring when our trust is betrayed) but they do let him run ( i don’t think they intended to shoot him in the back )
I particularly like how in the end it was a xeno who reminded them what humanity truly means.
@@kyriss12 Perhaps the real humanity was the xenos we got along the way
I really do love that about this one. They usually just went KoS, but let the beat down guy run. Instead he called them cowards and shot his own damn engine, that's some kinda goddamn commitment to crazy right there
@@Paddydukes89 its also a very human move
Considering ambassador ships had previously entered human space but none had survived to return... The humans were definitely going to shoot this one in the back like all the others.
I feel like the humans cultivated such an air of death and force that they wouldn't send proper comms in the heat of battle, they would just fill enemy comm channels with thousands of recordings of every species screaming for them to run.
Dude... You gave me idea...
"Through the hoards of pleas for death in every known language, I could pick out nay but a dozen screaming 'run' in my native tongue. But what haunts me most is the one that whispered 'run, run you fools' and so I did."
Something like that?
@@samg1158seems like something humans would do, considering all the tactics of mental warfare that have been used along history.
Just that 11th docotr scene when tons of them attempt to invade earth after we beat back each and every one of them.
@@jackgooge9538 Hello Universe! Could you all stop whizzing about, because I. AM. TALKING!
Look at us. No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh and something else. We don't have anything to lose.
So if you're sitting up there with your spaceships and yyor silly little guns, remember every black day we ever stopped you...
And then, do the smart thing, and let someone else try first.
"I fear we have awaken a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrifying resolve"
- Any military commander after thier state/country/empire makes a bad military decision.
Yamomoto, and the human race
Followed shortly after, there has been a development in the war and not necessarily in our favor
When your side sinks a few canoes and the other side drops the Sun on you, twice.
"We have made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement."
This sounds like me in stellaris after fighting wars for the first 30 years as a pacifist
There should totally be a civic for this. Like, I would love civics that unlock mid play through instead of the most interesting ones being game start only it would make reforming your gov have more relevance after you get that thirds civic slot and increase empire roleplayability
My first stellaris game.
Lets all be friends. And then they decided killing space whales should be legal was more important then the scourge and we all died.
Game 2. KILL ALL ORGANICS
@@ODST626 Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
i tried to play as a mega corp and just wanted to bring prosperity and business all across the galaxy. All my neighbours hated me and wanted to kill me, i had to dig in HARD to survive and i and the people of the mega corp HANZA, said "FUCK IT WERE GOING XENOPHOBIC ITS REALLY IN THIS YEAR", those aliens no longer exist
Remind me of the time I got rekted by the space hippies of the galaxy. The were fanatic xenophiles and pacifists. Still, they decided I was bad enough THEY would declare war, as I was stuck with a lower fleet power.
Always watch out for the space hippies.
Can't blame Humanity for taking it's ball and slamming the door shut behind them in this one....but at the same time the brave little guy calling them out had a point. Really liked this one
glad you enjoyed
Yep, that took balls of tungsten. His willingness to face them and die roused humanity's humanity. And woe betide those who prey on the weak.
The Dreen commander stood on the bridge, watching his fleet move into orbital position to continue the assault.
No... assault was not the right word. The right word was extermination.
Another bombardment was ready, they were already near position and another of those helpless settlements would be destroyed in just a few moments. As always, the hatchery first, the. Everything else. No quarter given, no survivors allowed.
Then the long range scanner operator spoke up. "Commander... there are seven new contacts..."
"Ignore them. Prepare to open fire."
"Commander, you really should lo-"
"More of these pathetic insect ships won't make any difference. We will deal with them when we have finished our bombardment, like the rest."
"Commander, you NEED to-"
The ship went dead, the lights went out. No, not dead. Only the active systems, he realized after a brief survey of the bridge. Looking out over his fleet, he saw all their engines and lights had gone out, too.
That's when the comms system cracked to life. One single word, broadcast in their own language at maximum volume across his entire ship. Across every one of his ships, he knew.
"*STOP*"
The commander realized he had no choice but to obey, he and his fleet already HAD obeyed. He looked to the scan officer. "Who are the contacts?" He asked... a quaver in his voice.
"The computer is still identifying the ship profile, it's something that hasn't been seen in recent memory."
He paused, and stared.
"Is that the result?"
"Yes. But it can't be... it can't!"
"WHO ARE THEY, OFFICER?"
"Humans! Oh, gods save us they're humans!"
The comms system cracked to life again. But this time, it wasn't a command... It was music, a simple melody at first that crashed into loud and chaotic song. And then the singing..
"THIS IS YOUR TIME TO PAY, THIS IS YOUR JUDGEMENT DAY-"
"Get us online! NOW!"
"Controls are not responding!"
He looked out over the chaos as the crew scrambled to do something... ANYTHING... all of them repeating that same mantra. The song blasting from comms made his tympanic drums ring violently.
"YOUR LIFE IS OVER NOW, YOUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT-"
The Dreen commander could only stare in horror at the six hulking war behemoths approaching swiftly, accompanied by one single tiny ship clearly belonging to the worthless insects below.
"-WHEN YOUR TIME IS AT AN END, THEN IT'S TIME TO KILL AGAIN"
The human ships opened fire in exact time to the chaotic crash of the song. Ship after ship exploded, shot to the tiniest pieces of debris by a precise calculated bombardment with the exact ease that the Dreen had cleared this planet's defenses away. Nothing was working. No weapons were even powering up. No ships even fired their engines. They were doing nothing. They COULD do nothing.
The Dreen Commander stared as his fleet was torn apart as if it was nothing at all.
"YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIE! YOU BETTER GET READY TO KILL!
YOU BETTER GET READY TO RUN 'CAUSE HERE WE COOOOOME!
YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIIIIE!-"
The human ships turned their cannons on his flagship and moments later, the Dreen commander knew no more.
"YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIE!!"
The song continued, on all frequencies the Dreen used. A warning. A promise. The humans were coming. They had better start running. And they had better get ready to die.
Now that is an epilogue we needed!
I knew watching Hellsing Abridged will help me get that song. Fuck yeah!!! By the time we've spent in Isolation and look what happens. Peaceful worlds are being exterminated, while the Galactic fucks are Invading.
Name of that song pls or a limk were i can find it would be nice
@@jackhell9263 I do not know what a limk is, but I can give you the name of the song:
Ready to Die by Andrew WK.
@@jackhell9263 ruclips.net/video/n7BLGt0wU48/видео.html Have fun
Humans: Oh cool we'd love to join everyone here
Aliens: Brutalize and humiliate their people
The Doctor popping in on high level multialien diplomatic meetings: "Have you ever heard of the saying 'Demons run when a good man goes to war?' I thought not, have fun!"
Dreen scan officer: fleet master we detect 6 ships appearing beyond weapons range
Dreen fleet master: who are they and what do they think 6 ships can do against our thousands
Dreen communications officer: the ships identifying them selves as human and command us to run
Dreen fleet master: WTF
that was the last words that Dreen said
A day to wear the brown pants.
@@dalemorgan8263 yep
Every HFY story has the boss battle music orchestra on overtime, they need a break
Fleet master, our forward scouts have stopped reporting.
Which ones?
All of them...
That’s the only word that humans send to the galaxy “run” and when the galaxy receives another “run” everyone knows SHIT has hit the fan
true
run
@@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331 what do i ne-
And they tremble for a sleeping giant has awoke
@@ianhogben3472 oh no ( i misread the second "run" for "fun" and thought "yea thats about right")
When the other Alien race was asking the humans for mercy and offered money I thought I was about to hear. “We don’t want your money, we want your souls. BURN”.
I can imagine us doing that, LOL
"It's not about the money... it's about sending a message." 🤡
Lowkey psychological warfare given how humanity started as a predator who'd let their prey run themselves to death. Almost like a callback to a more ancient side of humanity while also telling that other race they are no more than prey to us.
I hadn't looked at it that way, but I really like that interpretation.
@@PoldaranOfDalaran Don't run. You'll just die tired.
I love the stories where humanity is basically the Breen from Star Trek.
Yes
I can relate, I love the cold, wish I had a fridge suit.
The thing with Star Trek is that the races were usually just exaggerated humans in one direction or another.
@@jurajciernik7780 That's what made them relateable. although the reason most of them looked like humans with bumpy heads is low budget.
This is my second favorite next to a less used trope of Humans as Precursors. Where Humans happened to be the first into space and by the time other races see humanity that have tech so advanced it’s indistinguishable from Magic.
"The Balkan empire"
I get that inventing names is hard, but this is hillarious.
ikr,i mean who makes alien empire name after a european half island XD
just change a random vowel to an E and it sounds both familiar and alien. If youre really feeling fancy add an ' somewhere
Yeah, that got a chuckle out of me. Especially since I'm from the Balkans myself.
@@anamewithnoface1330 yeah but belka is already taken as well
@@tritojean7549 remember kids
Belka did nothing wrong
“Turn on his engine, let him run away”
“Sir... he just shot his engine with a pistol”
“Excuse me?”
“He can’t leave, he intentionally shot his engine with his pistol and will not move, he also was very aggressive in his communication about how he won’t move.”
“Huh... reminds me of something but I can’t put my finger on it.”
-2 days later-
“... OH SHIT THAT’S JUST LIKE US! JENKINS! BRING HIM ON BOARD!!!”
lol
"He's got the optimism gene, the stubborn gene, AND the ***** crazy gene! Finally, some aliens worth knowing!"
@@KertaDrake Do you not mean the: "Hold my bear" gene? ;-)
@@erikbergqvist83 while I assume you mean “hold my beer” I will now be enjoying your version in which holding one’s bear is a standard practice.
@@AgroSquerril be nice if this hade a follow up for you to voice , might not be the most 'nuanced' universe... but i cant help to love the thought of a underdog being trampled by the assholes of the region only for one of its numbers returning after running of with a titan from ther nightmares at its side
Imagine the looks on the Threens faces when they realis how badly they have f$%ked up.
A message appears on all their fleets monitors as their engines fail.
“You fusked up”
@@CidGaius Either that or it says: "Our condolences on the extinction of your species."
Just an image of the old knight in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade saying you have chosen... poorly.
@@theyaden The idea of humans communicating with xenos with memes is just amazing. XD
You done goofed
When the six ships showed up all I could think of was OVER THERE! OVER THERE! OH THE YANKS ARE COMEING!
I mean. You aren't wrong.
So, you pissed off the humans….we shall inform your allies of your demise, Your resources will be given to them as per galactic law along with this message:
Don’t piss off the humans.
I think it would very much be the equivalent to an amputation. From the foolish species' perspective, the galaxy just goes dark as all communications aimed at them cease entirely and all outgoing comms have no response. Pure silence everywhere as all their neighbors completely cut them off in every way possible.
The nearby species immediately pull back from any worlds bordering their territory to avoid getting caught up in the mess so when they go to investigate the silent treatment, they find completely unpopulated planets... and then planets in their own empire start to go dark. No distress signals, no sign of anything out of the ordinary, comms just suddenly cut out as though switched off system-wide. The silence swallows entire sytems they claim one by one until none remain. When the final world goes dark, the other empires know that a species has gone extinct and swoop in like vultures to fight over the now dead worlds and humanity returns to dormancy, the dragon once again sleeping until the next foolish species decided to draw their ire.
Oh no, our little buddy Jav'een has reminded us of who we are. We're not stopping with them. You have preyed on the weak as you did with our race for far too long. Judgment day is upon you.
An old human commander sits at his console, a cigarette smoldering between his fingers as he flicks through several abbreviated documents.
Grinding the cigarette out in an ashtray made from an old piece of the ships plates he signs a memo and looks at his assistant
"Warm the engines, it's time we showed some humanity"
Perfection likes.
Lmao 🤣😂
i cant wait for the 2nd installment of this "if their ever is one"
The pilot on this story must be a prodigy if he is only 3 weeks out of training and he got given one of their most advanced ships.
That or they didnt have the man power to spare
@@PlagueRunner well even if you are running out of man power you can still recall some of your more experienced pilots and give older ships to the unproven noobies
@@stalwartteakettlepotato9879 unless 3 weeks is the most experienced of there people
@@Claymore200 well that would explain how their loosing so badly
@@stalwartteakettlepotato9879 or how badly they're losing
Commander of the Third Response Unit. "Is that our FTL fighter that went AWAL two weeks ago?"
"Yes sir." replied Tactical. " A pilot Jav'een."
"Tell him to dock his ship and report to the nearest airlock for summery execution!"
Sir, he said that he brought help. He said the Humans are following him and they're on our side.
The commander looked in disbelief at his screen. "Well if he opened the gates of Hell and charmed the Fleet of the Damned to save us then I guess we better hold off on that firing squad."
first, the balkans broke off into individual countries, now they broke off as their own race
Pulling an all nighter to write a paper, glad to have a break.
glad to help
We're you successful in completing the paper
@@stalwartteakettlepotato9879 Not yet but thanks for asking.
@@thunderbird4636 damn, I know the feeling of all nighters. Best of luck
@@stalwartteakettlepotato9879 thank you so much!
"The beacon is light, the Balkans call for aid"
"And the Empire shall Answer"
Seriously one of the most impactful stories ive heard so far, from the bright optimism, then dark and brooding anger, then cold fury of revenge, to stoic silence apathy and lack of faith, before a quiet resurgence of hope in a brighter future
thanks for this I'm burying a relative later today and this will help and as always Bob for the dragon
My condolences bud
@@AgroSquerril it is as it is, i just wished to thank you
Hi Bob.
I wish the story went on further, to show the arrival of the humans to aid their new allies, to the terror of the other alien races
and the terror of their new allies.
Bob the Dragon is a living legend, I swear... There needs to be a HFY featuring him.
Have like a dragon that follows around a human loving eldrich abomination and both just coo over what the fuck the murder apes are doing
Two days later, Jav'een's ship seemed to suddenly appear in Balken space, just outside the battlelines.
Jav'een: "Calling the third response unit, this is Pilot Jav'een. Is anyone still there?"
Command: "Pilot Jav'een? How dare you return to the Balken Empire, you coward! Have you come home to die?"
Jav'een: "Not exactly..."
Suddenly, 6 Huge ships shimmered into view, interspersed amongst the Threen Bombardment fleet. No sooner had they appeared to fully materialize then the Threen ships started to disintegrate around them. For a few moments, the sky lit up like a sunny day.
Jav'een: "I went off to look for help where no one would go for fear of what we may find."
Control: "And what...er. who did you find?
Jav'een: "Humans. Look what followed me home! Can we keep them?"
nice.
so these "Kreen" commited war crimes in Balkan territory....
*NATO wants to know your location*
Remember kids, only NATO is allowed to commit war crimes.
@@GenJeFT Because you know were the good guys
Nevermind, we got it... wow, you are awfully close to us for your health
@@GenJeFT Remember Serbs, 1000 guns for years firing on CIVILIAN Sarajevo, heavy mortar round
on market place and busy street in the middle of the day, mass killing in Srebrenica? You got away WAY TOO easy.
next chapter please. i wanna know what devastation is brought upon the galaxy, their reactions when humans awoken from their 600 year slumber. how these species will react when the was got settled.
man such a cliffhanger xD
I just see the human war machine cranking to full throttle
same
@@jaredpyle3425 A sleeping giant has awoken, and he is filled with a terrible resolve.
@@wrathshorts2894 and vengence
The other races of the Galaxy tremble with fear as all the comms in the galaxy start to play the opening stanza of the Ancient War Song of the Humans; ' Other On Bites the Dust' Followed by 'Thunderstruck'.
Always lovely to have a listen, loved the professor Moore series.
Is there a continuation elsewhere for 'the humans answered' or no?
didnt see any indication that there was but you never know
@@AgroSquerril alright, the search BEGINS
Its a pretty new story on sub reddit im pretty so youll have to probably ask the writer.
No reply on the original post as of now, feels bad, really liked this one :(
@@thecursedgalleon7096 did you find it?
The six Human ships bypassed the Dreen Battlelines and fortifications appearing next to the Dreen Homeworld's Star. Each ship fired a single projectile at the star, and blinked away after broadcasting a new message.....BURN. Hours later the star went nova.
The Humans in this story are basically the quiet kid in school who's had enough from his bullies. Except applied on a galactic scale.
A human detonates a warhead called ragnarok and destroyed tenths of thousands of planets, aestroids and ships in one collateral yet well-aimed strike.
Human General: "Well, that's all done, It was honestly dissapointing to see them all dead in a week, but since no one was hurt on our side, all is fine right?"
Alien Elder General: ...
Human 1: "Oh don't give me that look, you should be grateful we're on your side, the clowns of war species. You don't like it when the cattle starts eating the wolves correct?"
Alien 1: "General, I-"
Human General: "Before you think of killing me, let me remind you my species kept this all hidden war technology, the reason why we're always doing this stupid infighting is because if we did worked together as one kind, your uniforms will be exchanged for prison clothes and be sent to work until the flesh falls off your bones, not allowed to rest until we locate the material we want, so tell me general, are you going to keep your end of the bargain and free those terran colonies? Or should I tell my crew to fire one more round into your HQ, it's awfully close if you think about it."
Alien Elder General: touche
Tens of thousands of planets?? A warhead with an explosion the size of a supernova or hypernova? Damn, that's like a type 2 kind of human civilization. Not even the Galactic Empire from star wars nor the Imperium of man have such such an absurd weapon.
@@yaboialphapsi-krieger2709 I'd imagine it being like: Fractal Warhead, composed of multiple layers of casette warhead, with power of smallest part as full-potential Tsar bomb. Unending storm of atomic/antimatter chaos, driving in warp space until target is reached, and decimating as much targets as needed.
@@Crazylom the destructive and technological level of that fractal warhead is pretty much the same as the one i depicted, except it doesn't explode once only but scattered and with warp shenanigans.
Still a good idea tho.
"Let's be xenophobic, it's really in this year..."
When someone kills the butterflies, I enslave them for the mines, primitives and cute things I turned militaristic are given secondary citizenship.
Let's look for a nasty, slimy alien to fear!
“… There’s no more cute stories
About ET phoning home!
Let’s learn to love our neighbors like the Christians did in Rome!”
we know we aught to hate em there different you see we've seen there mean n ugly on movies n tv
I enjoy all of Agro Squirrel Narrates videos
Trust not the xeno for they will betray you, suffer not the xeno for they will war upon you. In the god emperors name let none survive.
For the emperor protects
Suffer not the xeno to live.
Emperor Protects
ohh, just heard this story some days ago. had a tear in my eyes at the end.
so great
very good story will be there a part 2 it would be greatly appreciated.
Yes
Humans don't like to be called cowards. We really also don't like bullys. And God help us, we really don't want to look in a mirror if we see a bully win and we could have stopped it.
I desperately need a part two. But that is up to the author to decide.
I think if listened to this story like 5 times now
FOR THE NARRATOR and his excellent work
HOORAY ITS THE TERRAN EMPIRE!
OH NO, ITS THE TERRAN EMPIRE!
I'd LOVE to see a second episode of this story?
No matter the species, when he started shouting defiant crap in the mike and shot the shit out of his own ship rather than leave I recognized him as a Brother!
Achievement Unlocked: Honorary Human
Love this story. Wish it continued.
I wish we could be as united on Earth now as we are in these stories.
What a story... Excellent empathy
I think the ending is perfect and no sequel is needed. We know what is going to happen to the Threen.
yarp
Personally I would expect the rest of the Galaxy at Large to turn on them. Once they realize that this species has aggravated the nightmare that is humanity. The humans will only need to do it once or twice more to bring absolute civilization to the entire galaxy. As civilization based on the simple thought... If we do not handle the problems internally then the humans will come. The monsters under the bed. We can slack off and let Petty bullies destroy but if we do we risk waking them again. No it is better for us that we destroy those who would break the rules... Because we will be merciful. Humanity will not. If humanity sails again... They will once more bring death and destruction to entire empires. When the humans leave their very very isolated home... The worlds of their enemies simply cease to be. There is no peace if humanity is woken. Better for all of us that you stop now... Before you wake them again. Because each time you do not only your race but every race that they find negligent or guilty by association fall under their hammer. This is something that has been forgotten here on Earth the last century now. Ever since the first of the Geneva accords. Before that wars were much more rare. Because you... knew... That if a war truly began the destruction would be epic. Even the mightier nations, the ones that knew they would win, knew that conduct war at all would end not only lives but the very Nations they came from. Yes in that time before, the destruction was never truly massive because the technology was not there yet. But they knew that to begin war was the end for someone. And then we wrote rules for warfare because our leaders could not see a way to keep from fighting over the stupidest things. In a century since the first Geneva Accord there has not been a single day in which there is not a war somewhere on this planet. Not one. Civil wars, rebellions, border skirmishes, and proxy wars have not given us a single day... Not one... Since humanity declared that rules would make it so that we could fight our wars without feeling guilty about them. The reason that ambassadors are considered untouchable happened nearly a thousand years ago. The Mongol hordes riding across the Middle East sent diplomats to talk to the people of another country. But this King was one who truly believed that he was blessed by the gods and had no fear of anyone. He tortured and killed those diplomats. And then the horde came. The king and his country ceased to be. Leveled so completely that even today it has not been truly rebuilt. Since that time there have been other brutal and stupid dictators. But the overall March of civilization has continued to because almost every time a dictator or other tyrant demonstrates himself to be so stupid, the rest of humanity swatted them down so hard that they ceased to be as a people. People talk about the cruelty and brutality of The Man who would inspire Dracula. But if you look at what is left of his country... All the terror he inspired inspired his enemies to be even more. His country nowadays is a small footnote of a Nation who exist over the last century as almost just a football thrown between the powers. And this has happened before. Peace at any price... Once again I hear it. And I think of every time that it has been said before. The politicians of that race trying to negotiate peace when everyone knew very well that it was not going to be... Eventually The barbarians come. As the story of the Norse ravaging northern Europe... Trying to maintain peace with them only strengthens them. But even right now there are those that the others do not bother because it is better that they be left to sleep.
Threen, yes but what about the other traitors? There is only one "safe" species and their to be kept at knife's lenth
I hope this universe continues
Fantastic story. I wish to thank you and all of these wonderful writers. Thank you all very much...
Even with your schedule I'm finding myself re-watching
"To all Threen in Balkan space... Run"
Within one hour all contact with the nearest outpost world is lost. At 1st it's thought to be a technical issue, but the reinforcements also disappear without a single message being sent back. A day later another conquered world goes dark, and next day another. The Threen stationed never send a distress call or report. It's a if they just disappear. Intercepted Balkan transmissions speak of system-wide blackouts setting all ships adrift just before alien warships appear from nowhere. They destroy ever Threen vessel and facility, then disappear. Entire galaxy collectively sh*ts pants trying to confirm that their fears aren't true.
Humanity: hello( tracks the transmission for target data) 😈😈😈😈👺😈😈😈😈😈
A week later, an entire Threen fleet would go dark, a message appearing on their comms before their fiery end...a message from the Humans, the mythical race of Vengeance personified, which contained only a single word that promised not even the merest sliver of pity or quarter...
**DIE**
Id love to see a sequel to this
Suddenly that alien is scottish and I love it ...
And the next day the Threen had a collective bowel evac when half their space fleet disappeared.
This story really deserves a sequel.
You know it’s a good story when you want another paragraph.
it's good to remind those hurt past bearing that there is still hope in the universe
Great story… it brings a tear to my eye..
"War crimes sure do seem to be your guys' favorite kind of genre, huh? Well, we're something of a war crime enthusiast ourselves..."
"Here, let us teach you a thing or two about war crimes that we've picked up over the years we've been practicing"
On a species like YOU, we are using our Geneva convention rules as a check list.
One of my favorites, listened to it about 5 times so far
This is one of my favorite stories.
Hope there is a sequel to this story.
First story I’ve heard from this author (I think)
Really enjoyed it. I’ll have to check out their u/
love how humans became the john wick of the galaxy
Once, I saw them destroy 4 battleships... With a frigate! A fucking frigate!
Humans: **Join War**
Aliens: **Phasers go pew**
Humans: **Gun Plane go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT**
lol
If there is a part 2 to this story I would love to hear it.
The story was great and I actually making me really really want to part 2. I want to see everyone's reaction to Humanity's re-emergence
brown pants time , for the universe
Aliens be gangsta until the DOOM music starts playing.
Then its rip and tear time!
Humans to the galaxy: "WE ARE COMING"
yoo the name of that guy who wrote the story, barsoom is the name native people on mars gave to mars in the movie "john carter" damn this brings some memories,good times
also balkans? seriously XD
Very well narrated; a sequel by the author would be nice......
“Freebird” starts playing in the background as five of the ships jump to FTL and begin the Geneva checklist.
I was thinking more, The Vengeful One by Disturbed, but that works too LOL
Do not ever think to remind me of myself. As I know my own failings far better than anyone else ever could. Remind me instead of what I would strive to be. Encourage me to be better than I am.
Summon.Bigger.Fish(True)
Summon.Brown_Pants(True)
Can there be a part 2 of what happens next and afterward?
Six angular ships stabbed back into Realspace at the edge of the system. The Threen warfleet's alarms began to blare alarms as weapons locked onto them.
Their systems then began to fail, one by one, until only the engines, navigation, and one comms monitor remained active.
That monitor scrawled a single word, from right to left.
*RUN*
Threen Commander: By the gods. What have they unleashed upon the galaxy?
To imagine us Humans having a device that can disable anything remotely is just overkill.
But fortunately, nothing beats overkill.
@@CEBph5997 But we can do it now. It's called a emp. It's a side effect of one of mankind's favorite toys to horde the not so humble nuke!
A little late to run after you disable them...more like ***RIP AND TEAR***
I enjoy this story, very much. But wishing for more, how would everyone reacted to the "humans are coming ". Please post more.
It is nice to think that someday that all of the entirety of the human race will be able to act with such humanity! if we could only start now!
I salute Jav'een. That took brass. Now, *cracks knuckles* time to clean house.
This needs a part 2
Amazing story
This is awesome, good job writer, good job voice actor 👍
Damn. I wanted that to continue after the answer.
Is there more to this story?
thats it as far as i could see
Well written, and well narrated.
Thank you for the reading
Meanwhile, the rest of the Galaxy: Why do I hear Boss Music and why are there 10 HP bars in the sky?
good story, though i'm not sure if the terrans fit the description of an empire, empires conquer its kind of a defining feature
This was a good listen, shame it isn't continued
Okay, could we stop using Empire for once? Could we use Coalition, Allegiance, Congregration, Federation, and Alliance?
At a galactic scale, only empires would survive. Governments that use republic, heaven forbid democracy, would come to a screeching halts as bureaucracy would gum up the gears completely. We already have problems with nations having this style of government, let alone our planet. Even relatively uncorrupt governments of those types move at a snail's pace
I think it depends on why human has formed the unity (or at least the group that officially represents humanity) in terms on the story. If it doesn’t represent the reason for unity, I personally think that’s a miss opportunity.
It is possible that the humans in this story were called something like the ‘Terran Alliance’ before getting screwed over so much that they became xenophobic and renamed themselves as the ‘Terran Empire’.
No, the Empire of Man is absolute
@@dragonheart5312 Ironically, the bureaucracy here in the US at least was originally intended to make things faster. While Congress debated, the bureaucracy could offer a response to a situation within the scope of the (supposedly) limited powers delegated to them by Congress.
Unfortunately, bureaucracy is like a parasitic fungus: it will grow unchecked unless it runs out of resources or is actively poisoned.
In the words of the Space Wolves, " We are coming."
This is one of those where I desperately wish there was a Part 2 of the stoary.
the threens be like when they see the humans:"why do I hear boss music...."
5 seconds later
threens:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
brown pants time
I think you mean burnt pants because humans are likely going to use every type of fire
When the Doom music starts....
@@Wastelandman7000 the only thing they fear is us
Wish there was a second part too this story.