Everything he said is true but a lot of women don't want to accept the truth. I used to be that woman that didn't want to hear the truth. Some of us most definitely are the "as long as he comes home" type of women and it's sad. Gotta know your worth and know when to cut your losses. Staying is NOT winning.
Oh Here is something to think about. It's easy for a man to do his role but you as a woman don't (some of you) don't want to hold up your end of the deal. ITS 100% TRUE EVERYTHING YOU DID IN THE BEGINNING TO GET HIM FROM YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE TO INTELLECT YOU GOTTA BE WILLING TO BE EVERY WOMAN HE COULD LEAVE YOU FOR. I KNOW THERE IS A SONG THAT SAYS OTHER MEN WANT HER TOO BUT WOMEN LOOSE THAT APPEAL THE OLDER THEY GET BUT MEN BECOME MORE APPEALING AND ONCE THEY HAVE THEMSELVES TOGETHER 90% OF WOMEN CANT RESIST WANTING SOME OF HIM
@@uncleelroy6353I couldn't agree with you more and I am a woman. Most women become one of the man's relatives once they become a wife. They don't realize that they are there because of their se*x appeal. A woman once said that you have to look as if you are going out while indoors to keep your hubby indoors. Meaning you have to understand that you are competing with beautiful women outside so you have to be like them.
If you have to cheat consistently on a woman who is bringing stability to you then you are not a man you are her kid just leave and let a real man show you how it should be done 🤞🏽
Women have to stop trying to fix broken men. You can't fix him, sis. You can only break yourself. It's not why he stays. It's why do you? Let that man go destroy someone else's peace.
@@HumanityInCrisisthey do see it! They are more concerned with their own happiness. Someone said that men may be predators by nature so this why they able to do these types of things
@@HumanityInCrisisit goes both ways. I'm not taking a side till I know all the facts. His side, her side and the truth. Everyone wants to be the hero. So not falling for the bs
He’s not committed to those other women but he’s not committed to her either. He’s committed to getting his desires met & if he finds one out there that provides what he’s looking for, he throws everyone else away.
Is it me, or is the answer always, “Because you ‘let’ him be a despicable human being?” Nobody addresses the elephant in the room - a lot of men are a-ok with being deplorable, so women just have to spot it and get away from them. The bar for men just seems sooooo low.
But they aren't talking to those men in that moment. They are talking to a woman who seems to have been screwed over in this way before, and they are talking about what she can control and what she can do to protect yourself. As for the bar being low for men, it's yall ladies who consistently put the bar there with the men you choose to date and the God awful decisions too many women make in this regard. It blows my mind watching so many women getting duped by shitty men, especially when I know that yall are smarter than that. Some men, and people in general, will only change when the people in their lives stop enabling them. But assholes seem to just have this magnetic quality that attracts women to them. And also, speaking of the bar being low, women out here praising themselves for being able to pay their own bills..... Wow, good job being an adult! Now tell us something about you that isn't the bare minimum and actually worthy of praise? Or when women boast about being an emotional safe space for men (though this turns out to be a lie far too often)..... Great you exhibit basic relationship courtesies. Good for you champ. I guarantee that the majority of women who bitch about the bare minimum and the bar being low are themselves not meeting the very standards that they would hold men to.
@@Heyu7her3 , I get it, but what I’m saying is that the BS they come with is accepted as the norm, like a default setting in men. Women just have to learn how to work with it, around it or avoid it altogether. There’s no expectation for men to be better human beings.
@@A_Cowboy_called_JackRabbit , I get it. I understand the part that they’re always encouraging women to do. It’s just a lot to put on women when the other side of the problem isn’t being addressed.
My sisters,women give each other very wrong advise. Don't leave the man,just be you and fix the issues he is working on. Provide the stability thats why he comes to you and not stay at them other places. forget about the thrills jus be real in a relationship and support him,eventually he always see it.
He left out one item for the ladies: Realize that you are ok with just yourself. Be happy with yourself, BY yourself. Build your very own life. I’m not saying it’s easy, but once you accomplish that and you can truly depend on yourself, you will attract the man you deserve. He’s out there.
Adding to your point some people are afraid to live alone so since they desperately seek company all the time, they'll accept a bad lover.....I'm not putting blame on women but they need to address their abandonment issues 1st or they'll be very clingy in relationships even when he is a cheater Toxic mum - daughter dynamics often has the child growing up with emotional stress and then they start dating toxic partners which leads to more arguments between toxic mum/ daughter
Absolutely! Folks need to learn to be happily single... Once you prioritize you peace and love your solitude, you'll be amszed at how much you WON'T put up with...
Exactly! This is what I've been telling women for at least a decade. When my ex started not treating me right I didn't care that we had been together 8 years, I left him. There's no way I'm going to stay with a man just because he won't leave. Most men won't leave because they don't want to be the one that looks like they gave up on the relationship. You have to do the leaving.
And while he's out cheating on you, he expects you to be faithful to him. The audacity is unreal, but ladies wake up & realize you have to remove yourself from these types of situations
I love when Tripp answers. He always gives the cold hard truth. He doesn’t sugar coat, blame or shame. It might be a hard pill to swallow for some. But it’s the pill they need to make better decisions in life.
Ew lol. A cheater lacks integrity. Instead of finding someone who meets his needs or most of his needs, he stays with a woman who does just enough for him then betrays both her trust and the relationship, and disrespects everyone involved, by going to seek extra outside. Avoid these selfish and amoral people. At all cost.
Access definitely should be denied when that individual constantly show you over and over again that they don't want you , they just want access to what you can provide for them . Time to Shut the Door For Good and Send them on their Merrily Way ✌🏼👉🏽
My friend went through this.. and as soon as she finished school, for her degree...she left she knew he was cheating..so she stopped having unprotected sex with him...now she's married with kids and she is the happiest I've seen her..I think she and the ex both needed each other for different reasons..and left when it was no longer needed.
that’s why i be like “ohhh he got himself a dummy” when she be like ‘he always come home’ …girlie, he can’t stay in the streets or with her, of course he gotta go back to you 🙃
I just really don’t like how everything’s always falls back on the woman she should do this or she should do that…. How about men taking accountability for the actions… I mean is it so hard to be a good person…
All the responsibility falls back onto them once you leave them after finding out... Not that you're the reason _(they did it cuz they wanted to/ could),_ but 'cuz you're not enabling them to continue/ do worse.
@@kenyabean7781🎯 black men thinking😂😂😂 they don’t even know their roles in the black community. Women and children follow the man and if we are all being lead wrong what you think gon happen
Her question was so much more about him, than herself.. She was concerned about why he stays when it should have been why do I allow him... Some women are willing to settle for this and will try to conform themselves to whatever it is to try and make him happy. Thats why you see women fighting each other and him sitting back not saying a word!!! The women know about each other, but choose to still allow him to stay, sleep with him, cook for him, spend money on him.. The man is just using all the women he is involved with as place holders. Ladies lets start loving ourselves and respecting each other!! God Bless my Queens🙏🏽❤
Some men out here very real upfront with you and they will let you know what’s up, living here in Georgia a lot of men that have tried to pursue me automatically let me know that they either want a poly relationship or that they will never be monogamous. Do I get mad or interrupt my peace, no they are grown men they do what they want to do. At this point in life a lot women don’t believe it’s men out there that can only love them, and not have anyone on the side. Reality check my loves it will be Okay Queens.
The subject matter can be expounded upon, because it happens in ALL relationships, whether it be with friends, relatives, whomever or whatever. Some people tend to not have a problem with being the “back up”, as long as they get to be “involved” and/or “included“ and before you know it, they’re used , abused and reused then tossed to the side. It is imperative that one set healthy boundaries for one’s self and have principles, self respect and integrity. Don’t let anyone and I mean ANYONE treat you as “other “
A lot of the men view their wives or girlfriends as their life assistant. You make sure he's fed. You do his laundry. Babysit his kids. Pleasure him. You do what he needs and wants for him to have a better life. That's why they so easily look elsewhere, because they don't truly love you. You are useful. The man who truly loves you will never treat you like his assistant. He will instead treat you like his Queen. There are sadly far too many women playing assistant roles to men. & far too many people settling for what is not true love.
@@ltaylor5539 I get that I just don't understand how you don't know. It's the lack of introspection that baffles me. I guess I just think it's strange that some people don't slow down enough to ask themselves "Why do I do this/ feel this way?" Its not a hard question to ask.
After the fact, I found out that he was using me as leverage against other women. They had to compete with me. He would make sure they knew about me so that they would do the most to try to take him from me. It was all a game for him. He did everything to derail our divorce even though he was still hiding his mistress. I found out about her (in a strange way) and then contacted her and told her that he was doing things to stop the divorce and I needed her to get him to cooperate. Shortly after, he left her. Game was over. I was his ego boost and stability essentially giving him a sense of confidence that made him think he could do whatever. Men know what they got and if they don’t leave then trust me that’s where they want to stay esp if they’re a higher earner like my ex.
My ex was like that. When I left him the other women started contacting me . I told them I didn’t owe them an explanation… he ended up moving in from those women bc he said they were more obsessed with me and he lost interest … some men are dogs and lack confidence. It’s called triangulation… if you don’t leave those type of men you will continue to play on a hamster wheel bc they are not loyal or committing to anyone but SELF ..
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
You will get there. 5 years is a long time to be committed to somebody, so you aren't going to be over her and healed in just a month. Allow yourself to truly grieve the loss of the relationship. Going through the motions is normal. Love on yourself and heal in your own time. Go to therapy. Don't try to heal alone. Lastly, take it day by day. Find refreshment in the good days and be kind to yourself on the bad ones. If you need to cry, cry. I promise you will be okay❤
Exactly… still holding women most responsible for the trifling nature of men. She should leave, but speak about how this isn’t a man of purpose because men who are don’t waist their own time with pointless relationships…. They are purposeful! Little boys waist time.
I'm stunned that this question is still being asked. 😔 Ok so try this - without seeming like it, whenever you're confused by a man's actions just ask,"What's in it for him? What would he get out of it"? And whatever the answer is, THAT'S WHY he's doing it. Real talk - men are only as faithful as their OPTIONS and as long as you understand that the MAJORITY of males are inherently selfish, you can answer questions like this on your own before you become his victim.
He’s just using you for convenience until something that HE feels is better comes alone. My husband left me and our 4 kids. He said he was waiting until they had became older and he felt I didn’t want to be married. lol see that’s the new word that’s being thrown around now, narcissistic behavior. I’m old school that some --- and that’s it and that’s all 😅 FYI we’re both are in great places now and our children are doing great. That is what is really important in the end
First things first glad the children are doing well cause that is highly important but due to u saying yall are both in great places now my question for u is was he right that u didn't want to be married and do u feel yall would've been better if yall stayed together
@@gparker2388: I can’t answer for her but it sounds like her husband only used that as an excuse. If she didn’t want to be married she would have left HIM.
@@Rua007lol so glad you caught that. Men have finally woken up and they can’t deal with it. So she can’t speak for her but she can speak for him??? lol they hate us deep down but that’s ok. We always come out on top in the end
@@Rua007: What are you talking about? I said “it sounds like”. Can you read? The responder asked the commenter a question. She didn’t answer and I said “I can’t answer *for* her”. DUH. 🙄 I simply gave my opinion that the husband leaving his wife and telling her he did so because SHE didn’t want to be married was a (lame) excuse for ditching her and the kids. The fact that you take issue with that means either you have a comprehension problem or you need a hobby. 😂
Divorcing From This Exact Situation Discovered Years Multiple Overlapping Affairs!!! Very Insightful Answer. Forgive Never Forget Disrespect Has No Expiration Date.
This reminds me of an old saying..."its cheaper to keep her". The "cheater" wants to have their cake and eat it too. Why would he leave as long as it works for him in his favor? What's love got to do with it. Girlfriend wake up please. When you been taken around the block a few times, you learn its not all about you. A man will allow you to do whatever you allow him to do. Do not put up with someone, anyone treating you or causing you to feel bad about yourself. Put up some boundaries for yourself and protect your well being for your own sake. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all and it is not selfish.
This is why it’s very important to never seek outside of yourself. Understand relationships are mirrors. If you truly love yourself you can see when love is reflected back.
So true! Both times my husband cheated on me he didn't even have the nerve to pack his bags so I had it waiting soon as the door opened! I still can't figure out why he would say I'm leaving but was too weak to be man enough to pack his own bags. He is a covert narcissist.... maybe this is the reason idk 🤷♀️
@@mcbailey7446 Listen how nice Tripp went through explaining everything, giving detail and examples and then Kita chimes in with the emotion cuss words. She does this everytime.
Some people will only hear it when it comes out that way. That's why diversity is good. Having someone on the panel that speaks a language that will get through to some people is a good thing in my opinion.
Path of least resistance. Even if the home front is rocky...you cook, you clean, the kids are there, his stuff is there... he can ignore you as best he can and still get those benefits meanwhile he is getting the emotional/physical gratification he needs without ANY STRESS from the other woman. Thats always the key: the other woman isnt a headache! That is unless she starts to ask him to treat her like the main one.
Love his answer....but part 2 of the answer is men put women in categories. This young lady is in the placeholder category. He will stay....for years even...until he meets who he's really looking for. All the red flags usually present themselves but some of us are afraid of being alone so we ignore what our eyes see, what our hearts feel, and what out gut instincts are trying to warn us about.
Everything he said went in one ear and out the other to me.✌🏾Don’t worry about it. Get left where you stay homeboy… As long as you let him? He will! Then when you leave him? he’ll be crying begging you to come back after you have moved all the way on and remarried to someone worthy of you. Let him stay with his 20. Bye 👋🏿 be gone. Tricks are for kids.
Yes ma’am! You know, Miss Sarah, when I was just a toddler, some unfortunate events took place and I ended up moving in with my Mom’s lifelong best friend & my Godmother, Miss Sharita. She always told me that a man will only do what I allow! Everything she taught me has saved my life, in many ways on multiple occasions. She said “go head and listen to what somebody’s got to say baby, but don’t ever believe what they say over what they do. If a mf’er wants too, they will. Period.” Real af! “When somebody shows you who they are, believe them.” So many quotes that I live by have all come from Miss Sharita, and she ain’t never once been wrong! My favorite’s are “Put God first! Seek and find your validation through Jesus Christ. The world is always gone teach you wrong.” “You gotta be your own best friend baby, no one is gone love you like you.” “Two people can keep a secret if one of them’s dead.” “Go head and let somebody say you ain’t my baby girl, bc I’m black and you’re white. I’ll never be too old to split a wig.” 🤣 🤣 😂 🥹 I do apologize for writing you a book, but I’m so encouraged to see that you know your worth and refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve! That’s beautiful, and so are you! ♥️ Keep your head up and keep being your best self!
but best believe when he wants to be happy, that “home” they talking about that ‘he always come back to’ is the LAST play he will want to be… you’re just the shelter, the happiness is everywhere else but base…
🤔... apparently that happiness is NOWHERE else if he doesn't have it WITHIN. If he found it, why didn't he KEEP it? Not @ "base" or in the "field/streets/side-chick sheets". He/she/we/ME can't ever "find" "Happy" externally, if it's not already present internally. One must choose to BE/embody happy...
truth. take away his stability when you LIVE together and when you are MARRIED. if u have yours... he had his... ya'll are SINGLE and have FREE WILL to move around THE WORLD. excellent post❤
At the end of day people will do what you let them and we all need to know our self worth. Just staying in a relationship because you’re comfortable and don’t want to start over is never a good reason.
I been down that pathetic road, I have taught myself this method….IF HE DON’T KNOW HIS SELF WORTH, what make you THINK HE’S GOING TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH , it goes BOTH WAYS , no in between
Yup. I absolutely despise that song because it is a low vibrational song. It shows you that a lot of women who praises that genre of music have low vibrational energy and they are insecure with themselves. Every time I hear Sza’s music I instantly turn it off. I do not care for what anybody has to say. I’m just not a Sza fan at all. I think her music is screaming: ‘I NEED HELP’ and it shows that she’s a woman who doesn’t fully love herself whatsoever.
A lot of women love trying to tame the wild stallion. Stability with a predictable good guy becomes boring and monotonous. The chaos of not being certain of what the bad boy is going to do next is thrilling and exciting to too many women. It takes maturity to grow out of that mindset, but some never reach that level of development.
Brothers speaking truth. Why is she so damn negative you supposed to be helping these women you're not helping by coming out with comments like that every single time fashion does not help
Please be gentle with yourself. This is a large step. Healing will begin when you realize you are enough and deserve love. You must learn to love yourself the way you want to be loved. Understand your happiness comes from within. It’s a process and journey. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, a good support system is key.
When I try to describe what a good man is to the women in my family, they dismiss it as boring or say they wouldn't like a man like that. However, when I try to describe a bad man, they become really quiet. Don't pick a pitbull and expect him to act like a poodle. Needless to say, my cousins rarily introduce their bs boyfriends to me.🤷🏽♂️
@@JezeBellaMorte A Good Man: - Principled and values-driven - Consistently reliable - Dependable and true to his word - Committed to a higher purpose - Confident yet not boastful - Hardworking - Transparent - Respectful A Bad Man (The Opposite): - Flashy and superficial - Sketchy, making it difficult to discern his intentions - Leaves you guessing about his whereabouts and motives - Driven by his own needs or even influenced by others' needs, especially those of women - Motivated by ego, money, or personal desires - Tries excessively to demonstrate toughness or masculinity
Why does shorty at the end always have to add something? Sometimes the commentary she adds is either pointless or just proved the men talking right. ESPECIALLY when she cuts them off
@@laurencameron3150 just because you’re on the panel and have a mic does not mean you always have to speak at the most inopportune times, saying nonsense and get to cut everyone else off. Everyone else on the panel has microphones too. Let them speak and when you do speak, stop adding pointless shit that didn’t have to be said, just because you have a mic. We see her, she doesn’t have to always speak to remind us that she’s there. The label also has 2 other women, they don’t do that.
Everything he said is true but a lot of women don't want to accept the truth. I used to be that woman that didn't want to hear the truth. Some of us most definitely are the "as long as he comes home" type of women and it's sad. Gotta know your worth and know when to cut your losses. Staying is NOT winning.
You don't have to lie to a woman that likes you, she will lie to herself
“Love should’ve brought to ass home last night” babyface, Toni Halle, and now Lucky daye. All said it.
Glad you understand your flaws and strengths
Oh
Here is something to think about. It's easy for a man to do his role but you as a woman don't (some of you) don't want to hold up your end of the deal. ITS 100% TRUE EVERYTHING YOU DID IN THE BEGINNING TO GET HIM FROM YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE TO INTELLECT YOU GOTTA BE WILLING TO BE EVERY WOMAN HE COULD LEAVE YOU FOR. I KNOW THERE IS A SONG THAT SAYS OTHER MEN WANT HER TOO BUT WOMEN LOOSE THAT APPEAL THE OLDER THEY GET BUT MEN BECOME MORE APPEALING AND ONCE THEY HAVE THEMSELVES TOGETHER 90% OF WOMEN CANT RESIST WANTING SOME OF HIM
@@uncleelroy6353I couldn't agree with you more and I am a woman. Most women become one of the man's relatives once they become a wife. They don't realize that they are there because of their se*x appeal. A woman once said that you have to look as if you are going out while indoors to keep your hubby indoors. Meaning you have to understand that you are competing with beautiful women outside so you have to be like them.
If you have to cheat consistently on a woman who is bringing stability to you then you are not a man you are her kid just leave and let a real man show you how it should be done 🤞🏽
Nope he can go
No one cares about your definition of a man especially if you’re a woman, stick to defining women
💯
This was cold but the absolute truth. I lose respect for a man when I see him cheat on a good woman.
Damn true... She's taking care of you.. like you're one of her children.. providing stability.. but that's not Real Mutual Love
Women have to stop trying to fix broken men. You can't fix him, sis. You can only break yourself. It's not why he stays. It's why do you? Let that man go destroy someone else's peace.
He outside because he's missing stuff at home.
Amen
PREACH !!!!
Reaaally@@dennisjohnson7139
@@Alibit4what
It’s sad that folks do this. You can see the hurt in this beautiful young ladies eyes.
Exactly that's the first thing I saw and my heart sank. Why can men not see what they are doing to women.
@@HumanityInCrisisthey do see it! They are more concerned with their own happiness. Someone said that men may be predators by nature so this why they able to do these types of things
@@HumanityInCrisisit goes both ways. I'm not taking a side till I know all the facts. His side, her side and the truth. Everyone wants to be the hero. So not falling for the bs
Men have been doing this for years and it's so unfortunate and cruel!
AMEN!
Men have been doing this for years and it's so unfortunate and cruel!
AMEN!
He’s not committed to those other women but he’s not committed to her either. He’s committed to getting his desires met & if he finds one out there that provides what he’s looking for, he throws everyone else away.
This!!
Facts
He’s a narcissist!!!!!!!
🥳
Facts ❤😊
Is it me, or is the answer always, “Because you ‘let’ him be a despicable human being?” Nobody addresses the elephant in the room - a lot of men are a-ok with being deplorable, so women just have to spot it and get away from them. The bar for men just seems sooooo low.
But they aren't talking to those men in that moment. They are talking to a woman who seems to have been screwed over in this way before, and they are talking about what she can control and what she can do to protect yourself.
As for the bar being low for men, it's yall ladies who consistently put the bar there with the men you choose to date and the God awful decisions too many women make in this regard. It blows my mind watching so many women getting duped by shitty men, especially when I know that yall are smarter than that. Some men, and people in general, will only change when the people in their lives stop enabling them. But assholes seem to just have this magnetic quality that attracts women to them.
And also, speaking of the bar being low, women out here praising themselves for being able to pay their own bills..... Wow, good job being an adult! Now tell us something about you that isn't the bare minimum and actually worthy of praise? Or when women boast about being an emotional safe space for men (though this turns out to be a lie far too often)..... Great you exhibit basic relationship courtesies. Good for you champ.
I guarantee that the majority of women who bitch about the bare minimum and the bar being low are themselves not meeting the very standards that they would hold men to.
The allowance is only in accepting/ allowing their BS
@@Heyu7her3 , I get it, but what I’m saying is that the BS they come with is accepted as the norm, like a default setting in men. Women just have to learn how to work with it, around it or avoid it altogether. There’s no expectation for men to be better human beings.
@bluebutterfly5684 he is saying, "Close the market, and watch." At some point, they will either crumble or walk upright.
@@A_Cowboy_called_JackRabbit , I get it. I understand the part that they’re always encouraging women to do. It’s just a lot to put on women when the other side of the problem isn’t being addressed.
Once my ex showed me who he was, I believed him and started making plans to leave. Then, I was gone.
My friend did the same..and is living her best life...I'm so proud of her.
Same here
This is exactly where I am currently. Can’t wait to be on my own stepping into myself . I am the “stability “ he keeps coming back too 😢😢😢
My sisters,women give each other very wrong advise.
Don't leave the man,just be you and fix the issues he is working on.
Provide the stability thats why he comes to you and not stay at them other places.
forget about the thrills jus be real in a relationship and support him,eventually he always see it.
@@thementoringtimeyou have to be a guy….
Katt Williams already said this “STOP GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT” aka don’t feed the monster. especially if you’re not getting what you want
He left out one item for the ladies: Realize that you are ok with just yourself. Be happy with yourself, BY yourself. Build your very own life.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but once you accomplish that and you can truly depend on yourself, you will attract the man you deserve. He’s out there.
Adding to your point some people are afraid to live alone so since they desperately seek company all the time, they'll accept a bad lover.....I'm not putting blame on women but they need to address their abandonment issues 1st or they'll be very clingy in relationships even when he is a cheater
Toxic mum - daughter dynamics often has the child growing up with emotional stress and then they start dating toxic partners which leads to more arguments between toxic mum/ daughter
Absolutely! Folks need to learn to be happily single...
Once you prioritize you peace and love your solitude, you'll be amszed at how much you WON'T put up with...
Exactly! This is what I've been telling women for at least a decade. When my ex started not treating me right I didn't care that we had been together 8 years, I left him. There's no way I'm going to stay with a man just because he won't leave. Most men won't leave because they don't want to be the one that looks like they gave up on the relationship. You have to do the leaving.
And while he's out cheating on you, he expects you to be faithful to him. The audacity is unreal, but ladies wake up & realize you have to remove yourself from these types of situations
Are you a Christian?
I rather be alone. That unbearable stress is too much to deal with. Self awareness is a must.
I love when Tripp answers. He always gives the cold hard truth. He doesn’t sugar coat, blame or shame. It might be a hard pill to swallow for some. But it’s the pill they need to make better decisions in life.
Women, stop providing a place to live. that's his job. Dont settle for being his mama or his auntie.
She was in tears. It really does hurt to hear. You got this girl! 🌹🌹🌹
Ew lol. A cheater lacks integrity. Instead of finding someone who meets his needs or most of his needs, he stays with a woman who does just enough for him then betrays both her trust and the relationship, and disrespects everyone involved, by going to seek extra outside. Avoid these selfish and amoral people. At all cost.
This‼️‼️
Access definitely should be denied when that individual constantly show you over and over again that they don't want you , they just want access to what you can provide for them . Time to Shut the Door For Good and Send them on their Merrily Way ✌🏼👉🏽
My friend went through this.. and as soon as she finished school, for her degree...she left she knew he was cheating..so she stopped having unprotected sex with him...now she's married with kids and she is the happiest I've seen her..I think she and the ex both needed each other for different reasons..and left when it was no longer needed.
That joint got hard to her she broke down at the end😢 she'll bounce back
that’s why i be like “ohhh he got himself a dummy” when she be like ‘he always come home’ …girlie, he can’t stay in the streets or with her, of course he gotta go back to you 🙃
lol.
I feel that she is speaking from the POV of the "other woman" where the man told her he's unhappy with the main but still won't leave.
I agree, I think so too.
Love Tripps responses. He's very insightful. When he speaks, he should Always have the last words💝❣️.
🙄
I just really don’t like how everything’s always falls back on the woman she should do this or she should do that…. How about men taking accountability for the actions… I mean is it so hard to be a good person…
All the responsibility falls back onto them once you leave them after finding out... Not that you're the reason _(they did it cuz they wanted to/ could),_ but 'cuz you're not enabling them to continue/ do worse.
Yes, it's hard to be a good person! It's that hard....people don't care about nobody but SELF! Period.
They believe women are leaders and guys are not
@@kenyabean7781🎯 black men thinking😂😂😂 they don’t even know their roles in the black community. Women and children follow the man and if we are all being lead wrong what you think gon happen
Enough said right there. You hit the nail on the head. When you learn to know better, then it's on you to do better.
Her question was so much more about him, than herself.. She was concerned about why he stays when it should have been why do I allow him... Some women are willing to settle for this and will try to conform themselves to whatever it is to try and make him happy. Thats why you see women fighting each other and him sitting back not saying a word!!! The women know about each other, but choose to still allow him to stay, sleep with him, cook for him, spend money on him.. The man is just using all the women he is involved with as place holders. Ladies lets start loving ourselves and respecting each other!! God Bless my Queens🙏🏽❤
Some men out here very real upfront with you and they will let you know what’s up, living here in Georgia a lot of men that have tried to pursue me automatically let me know that they either want a poly relationship or that they will never be monogamous. Do I get mad or interrupt my peace, no they are grown men they do what they want to do. At this point in life a lot women don’t believe it’s men out there that can only love them, and not have anyone on the side. Reality check my loves it will be Okay Queens.
Unbelievable. And they think a woman will be ok with that?
at least they're honest! do with that what you will!
TRIPP SPITS TRUTH ONCE AGAIN!!
Tripp is speaking FACTS. 💯💯💯💯
The subject matter can be expounded upon, because it happens in ALL relationships, whether it be with friends, relatives, whomever or whatever. Some people tend to not have a problem with being the “back up”, as long as they get to be “involved” and/or “included“ and before you know it, they’re used , abused and reused then tossed to the side. It is imperative that one set healthy boundaries for one’s self and have principles, self respect and integrity. Don’t let anyone and I mean ANYONE treat you as “other “
A lot of the men view their wives or girlfriends as their life assistant. You make sure he's fed. You do his laundry. Babysit his kids. Pleasure him. You do what he needs and wants for him to have a better life. That's why they so easily look elsewhere, because they don't truly love you. You are useful. The man who truly loves you will never treat you like his assistant. He will instead treat you like his Queen. There are sadly far too many women playing assistant roles to men. & far too many people settling for what is not true love.
This screams "I struggle with issues of self worth."
True, from both the man and the woman.
Well that's obvious just from the fact that it's a question to ask. Doesn't matter *why,* because they can...
Some people have abandonment issues and don't realize or understand that is part of the reason they cling to toxic relationships.
@@ltaylor5539 I get that I just don't understand how you don't know. It's the lack of introspection that baffles me. I guess I just think it's strange that some people don't slow down enough to ask themselves "Why do I do this/ feel this way?" Its not a hard question to ask.
This screams "I struggle with reading".😂
After the fact, I found out that he was using me as leverage against other women. They had to compete with me. He would make sure they knew about me so that they would do the most to try to take him from me. It was all a game for him. He did everything to derail our divorce even though he was still hiding his mistress. I found out about her (in a strange way) and then contacted her and told her that he was doing things to stop the divorce and I needed her to get him to cooperate. Shortly after, he left her. Game was over. I was his ego boost and stability essentially giving him a sense of confidence that made him think he could do whatever. Men know what they got and if they don’t leave then trust me that’s where they want to stay esp if they’re a higher earner like my ex.
Sis preach😮😮 Im going through the same thing....
Exactly What I've Experienced. Happily Divorcing.
The infamous Narcissistic triangulation move.
My ex was like that. When I left him the other women started contacting me . I told them I didn’t owe them an explanation… he ended up moving in from those women bc he said they were more obsessed with me and he lost interest … some men are dogs and lack confidence. It’s called triangulation… if you don’t leave those type of men you will continue to play on a hamster wheel bc they are not loyal or committing to anyone but SELF ..
In my 07 voice “ that boy good” #ComingToAmerica 😂🤣🤣😂
😂
When I learned this, letting go became simple, I released my husband to the UNIVERSE.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
You will get there. 5 years is a long time to be committed to somebody, so you aren't going to be over her and healed in just a month. Allow yourself to truly grieve the loss of the relationship. Going through the motions is normal. Love on yourself and heal in your own time. Go to therapy. Don't try to heal alone. Lastly, take it day by day. Find refreshment in the good days and be kind to yourself on the bad ones. If you need to cry, cry. I promise you will be okay❤
I really like this man's disposition. It's he always this calm and level? I could listen to his voice over an hour.
IT STILL DOES NOT GIVE MEN A PASS OR EXCUSE TO CHEAT.
Who said it gives men a pass? He is explaining why men do it. He is not saying it is ok. Smh
Exactly… still holding women most responsible for the trifling nature of men. She should leave, but speak about how this isn’t a man of purpose because men who are don’t waist their own time with pointless relationships…. They are purposeful! Little boys waist time.
Dugh lol he didn’t say that it did. He simply answered the question
Oh Lordt, this is Stupid😢😢😢
EXACTLY ‼️‼️
It's the "a piece of a man is better than no man" mentality. Ladies, please stop. You deserve better.
He's building his preferences on top of you....... why he still got some place to COME BACK to ....whoa...truth
I'm stunned that this question is still being asked. 😔
Ok so try this - without seeming like it, whenever you're confused by a man's actions just ask,"What's in it for him? What would he get out of it"? And whatever the answer is, THAT'S WHY he's doing it. Real talk - men are only as faithful as their OPTIONS and as long as you understand that the MAJORITY of males are inherently selfish, you can answer questions like this on your own before you become his victim.
He’s just using you for convenience until something that HE feels is better comes alone. My husband left me and our 4 kids. He said he was waiting until they had became older and he felt I didn’t want to be married. lol see that’s the new word that’s being thrown around now, narcissistic behavior. I’m old school that some --- and that’s it and that’s all 😅
FYI we’re both are in great places now and our children are doing great. That is what is really important in the end
First things first glad the children are doing well cause that is highly important but due to u saying yall are both in great places now my question for u is was he right that u didn't want to be married and do u feel yall would've been better if yall stayed together
@@gparker2388: I can’t answer for her but it sounds like her husband only used that as an excuse. If she didn’t want to be married she would have left HIM.
@hereforit2347 You can't answer for her that is here., but you can answer for a man that's not here?
Oh f***ing well
@@Rua007lol so glad you caught that. Men have finally woken up and they can’t deal with it. So she can’t speak for her but she can speak for him??? lol they hate us deep down but that’s ok. We always come out on top in the end
@@Rua007: What are you talking about? I said “it sounds like”. Can you read?
The responder asked the commenter a question. She didn’t answer and I said “I can’t answer *for* her”. DUH. 🙄
I simply gave my opinion that the husband leaving his wife and telling her he did so because SHE didn’t want to be married was a (lame) excuse for ditching her and the kids.
The fact that you take issue with that means either you have a comprehension problem or you need a hobby. 😂
Only in the human species does the female have to be aware that her primary predator can be her counterpart.
Umm ...no. Get yourself some cute little baby ducks, and watch them grow. You'll be surprised.
Divorcing From This Exact Situation Discovered Years Multiple Overlapping Affairs!!! Very Insightful Answer. Forgive Never Forget Disrespect Has No Expiration Date.
This reminds me of an old saying..."its cheaper to keep her". The "cheater" wants to have their cake and eat it too. Why would he leave as long as it works for him in his favor? What's love got to do with it. Girlfriend wake up please. When you been taken around the block a few times, you learn its not all about you. A man will allow you to do whatever you allow him to do. Do not put up with someone, anyone treating you or causing you to feel bad about yourself. Put up some boundaries for yourself and protect your well being for your own sake. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all and it is not selfish.
This is why it’s very important to never seek outside of yourself. Understand relationships are mirrors. If you truly love yourself you can see when love is reflected back.
So true! Both times my husband cheated on me he didn't even have the nerve to pack his bags so I had it waiting soon as the door opened! I still can't figure out why he would say I'm leaving but was too weak to be man enough to pack his own bags. He is a covert narcissist.... maybe this is the reason idk 🤷♀️
Sounds like this type of ‘man’ has not really grown up, and he is treating his wife like she’s his mama! Very sad indeed!
Stable people have to find stable people.💡
Kita sure know how to kill a moment. It's like she just have to say something.
What’s wrong with what Kita said?
@@mcbailey7446 Listen how nice Tripp went through explaining everything, giving detail and examples and then Kita chimes in with the emotion cuss words. She does this everytime.
I get that. It could've just ended with Tripp's response.
She always ends every good point with some hood comment!!!! Really gets on my nerves with that.
Some people will only hear it when it comes out that way. That's why diversity is good. Having someone on the panel that speaks a language that will get through to some people is a good thing in my opinion.
Path of least resistance. Even if the home front is rocky...you cook, you clean, the kids are there, his stuff is there... he can ignore you as best he can and still get those benefits meanwhile he is getting the emotional/physical gratification he needs without ANY STRESS from the other woman. Thats always the key: the other woman isnt a headache! That is unless she starts to ask him to treat her like the main one.
Love his answer....but part 2 of the answer is men put women in categories. This young lady is in the placeholder category. He will stay....for years even...until he meets who he's really looking for. All the red flags usually present themselves but some of us are afraid of being alone so we ignore what our eyes see, what our hearts feel, and what out gut instincts are trying to warn us about.
Everything he said went in one ear and out the other to me.✌🏾Don’t worry about it. Get left where you stay homeboy… As long as you let him? He will! Then when you leave him? he’ll be crying begging you to come back after you have moved all the way on and remarried to someone worthy of you. Let him stay with his 20. Bye 👋🏿 be gone. Tricks are for kids.
Yes ma’am! You know, Miss Sarah, when I was just a toddler, some unfortunate events took place and I ended up moving in with my Mom’s lifelong best friend & my Godmother, Miss Sharita. She always told me that a man will only do what I allow! Everything she taught me has saved my life, in many ways on multiple occasions. She said “go head and listen to what somebody’s got to say baby, but don’t ever believe what they say over what they do. If a mf’er wants too, they will. Period.” Real af! “When somebody shows you who they are, believe them.”
So many quotes that I live by have all come from Miss Sharita, and she ain’t never once been wrong! My favorite’s are
“Put God first! Seek and find your validation through Jesus Christ. The world is always gone teach you wrong.”
“You gotta be your own best friend baby, no one is gone love you like you.”
“Two people can keep a secret if one of them’s dead.”
“Go head and let somebody say you ain’t my baby girl, bc I’m black and you’re white. I’ll never be too old to split a wig.” 🤣 🤣 😂 🥹
I do apologize for writing you a book, but I’m so encouraged to see that you know your worth and refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve! That’s beautiful, and so are you! ♥️ Keep your head up and keep being your best self!
TRUTH! Not interested in a man like this. No accountability. Value yourself.
I DESPISE that saying, AT LEAST HE KNOWS WHERE HOM IS! HELL NAW STAY WHERE YOU WERE WITH WHOEVER YOU WERE WITH, SMH
A cheater stays with their partner because he or she is USING them for stability (financial, emotional, housing, health care, etc).
I saw the hurt in that womans eyes, she had that sane experience now she knows she needs to have more sekf worth
but best believe when he wants to be happy, that “home” they talking about that ‘he always come back to’ is the LAST play he will want to be… you’re just the shelter, the happiness is everywhere else but base…
🤔... apparently that happiness is NOWHERE else if he doesn't have it WITHIN. If he found it, why didn't he KEEP it? Not @ "base" or in the "field/streets/side-chick sheets". He/she/we/ME can't ever "find" "Happy" externally, if it's not already present internally. One must choose to BE/embody happy...
@@FreeQueen-md7zm always someone commenting some stupid shit🙄
He is so right. They see some kind of comfort, and that is why i left.
This man is standing and pouring out truth... Stability is the tool for anyone!!❤
“He don’t wanna be saved, don’t save him”
Some people desire stability but also crave the uncertainty of the roller-coaster ride.
truth. take away his stability when you LIVE together and when you are MARRIED. if u have yours... he had his... ya'll are SINGLE and have FREE WILL to move around THE WORLD. excellent post❤
This young sis looks so sad and seems like a sweet person as she read her question, I just felt like giving her a hug.
At the end of day people will do what you let them and we all need to know our self worth. Just staying in a relationship because you’re comfortable and don’t want to start over is never a good reason.
I been down that pathetic road, I have taught myself this method….IF HE DON’T KNOW HIS SELF WORTH, what make you THINK HE’S GOING TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH , it goes BOTH WAYS , no in between
Why did I think at first that was Brandy. Lol😂😂😂😂
That woman was going through all the stages of grief listening to him. I see the pain on her face 😢
That’s why when men cheat you leave their azz in the dust. No second chances, and that’s something my father taught me.
Preach brother. If you don't know your worth you'll be stepped on.
#2024 ACCOUNTABILITY LADIES. THE TRUTH HURTS BUT IT HEALS.
Its a song about it I think it's called weekend by Sza. And ik plenty of woman who rock with it.
Yup. I absolutely despise that song because it is a low vibrational song. It shows you that a lot of women who praises that genre of music have low vibrational energy and they are insecure with themselves. Every time I hear Sza’s music I instantly turn it off. I do not care for what anybody has to say. I’m just not a Sza fan at all. I think her music is screaming: ‘I NEED HELP’ and it shows that she’s a woman who doesn’t fully love herself whatsoever.
Excellent explanation!
Thank you for your honesty!!
Our grandmothers where the “as long as he comes home” types.
Gotta love Grandma!😢
Once he dropped that mic, her left eye twitched so hard 😂😂😂😂😂
Made it Plain..A Drop Mic Moment
Thank You 4 Airing dis needy show
Praying 4 families ❤Auntee Gema
I wish I would have learned this back in my young dumb days.
It’s okay! Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re still learning. We all are ❤❤
He’s right . He’s doing it because you’re allowing him. You have to respect yourself before you get respect.
Ladies let it go and keep it moving !!! Come healed
A lot of women love trying to tame the wild stallion. Stability with a predictable good guy becomes boring and monotonous. The chaos of not being certain of what the bad boy is going to do next is thrilling and exciting to too many women. It takes maturity to grow out of that mindset, but some never reach that level of development.
Pff. Immature thinking.
Why are we asking these dudes questions they are not married don't even speak or dress mature ya feel me
Brothers speaking truth. Why is she so damn negative you supposed to be helping these women you're not helping by coming out with comments like that every single time fashion does not help
I love this truth telling thats happening. Keep it up fellas!!!!
I ALWAYS Wanted to know this I Always Needed to know this. THANKS For Speaking bout it all.
Yessss!! Filling into his empty space! Which is only temporarily!! 😂😂❤👀😇
I agree never be nobody's place holder .
Real talk
But quite a few people will be mad
Think I’m lying?
Go have this type of conversation on another platform, watch the comments
Guy “Piece of my love”
Stevie wonder “ part time lover”
HTown “ part time lover”
#TRIPP LOVE HIS KNOWLEDGE 🎯💯🔥🖤
Please be gentle with yourself. This is a large step. Healing will begin when you realize you are enough and deserve love. You must learn to love yourself the way you want to be loved. Understand your happiness comes from within. It’s a process and journey. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, a good support system is key.
Truth! I went through this!!
That's why the statement "as long as he comes home to me at the end of the day." is bull.
Tripp in the house!!!! ❤🙌🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
When I try to describe what a good man is to the women in my family, they dismiss it as boring or say they wouldn't like a man like that. However, when I try to describe a bad man, they become really quiet. Don't pick a pitbull and expect him to act like a poodle. Needless to say, my cousins rarily introduce their bs boyfriends to me.🤷🏽♂️
Will you describe a good and bad man to me?
@@JezeBellaMorte A Good Man:
- Principled and values-driven
- Consistently reliable
- Dependable and true to his word
- Committed to a higher purpose
- Confident yet not boastful
- Hardworking
- Transparent
- Respectful
A Bad Man (The Opposite):
- Flashy and superficial
- Sketchy, making it difficult to discern his intentions
- Leaves you guessing about his whereabouts and motives
- Driven by his own needs or even influenced by others' needs, especially those of women
- Motivated by ego, money, or personal desires
- Tries excessively to demonstrate toughness or masculinity
Why do they keep deleting my posts?
@@kilamoblack7532 Censorship and shadowbanning.
Wow he’s telling the truth🎯💯💯❤️
He's using YOU building himself by using you because hes getting the most benefits from you. Stop pour into yourself have boundaries
He is so handsome ❤ and looks 😊when he speaks the truth
Alot of us needed to hear this😢
Makes sense to me now. As a female I had a hard time figuring this out.
I agree 💯...I had to PULL myself from under one of those...smh
I would think the answer to this question is self explanatory.
Me too
It is.
Why does shorty at the end always have to add something? Sometimes the commentary she adds is either pointless or just proved the men talking right. ESPECIALLY when she cuts them off
Bc she hates men. You can tell she chooses bad men and gets fucked over bc she always has a negative outlook and a attitude.
Because she’s on the panel to talk too?
She is on the panel to disrupt and mislead
Exactly @@Rua007
@@laurencameron3150 just because you’re on the panel and have a mic does not mean you always have to speak at the most inopportune times, saying nonsense and get to cut everyone else off. Everyone else on the panel has microphones too. Let them speak and when you do speak, stop adding pointless shit that didn’t have to be said, just because you have a mic. We see her, she doesn’t have to always speak to remind us that she’s there. The label also has 2 other women, they don’t do that.
These men out here ain't it chose yourself.❤