No matter how bad a film may be, it's always fun to see Marc Singer playing the hero. I don't know about the guard being smart, but there is one scene in "Gangster Squad" (2013) that sticks in my memory. When the good cops are heading into the nightclub through a back entrance, they encounter your typical "burly guard/henchman". The hero (can't remember if it was Josh Brolin or Ryan Gosling) tried a quick knockout punch (typical troupe), only to have the guard flinch, then give the hero a look that says, "Dude, did you just hit me?" The heroes then had to keep hitting the guard until he did go down. This scene was so unexpected, since the guard/henchman was only in the one scene.
There's two guards in Once Upon A Time in Mexico (which is not good)...who at least show some humanity while being competent IIRC. They get told by the big bad that they can torture Antonio Banderas if they want (or is it Johnny Depp's character?)...after the bad guy leaves one of the guards turns to the other and says "I got tortured once. I didn't like it." and they leave Banderas alone... I do think they end up dying in a gun battle later...
Checking out reviews of this, and one I think says it all: "Fred Olen Ray rips off Blade Runner and tries to distract you from that fact with tittties. It almost works." Judging from this, it really doesn't, but at least we got The Beastmaster himself, Marc Singer, Brinke Stevens, and whichever of Fred Olen Ray's regulars were willing to pose naked -- so that's a plus, right? And ... wait, is that Robert Quarry?!! Count Yorga?! Heck, THAT is what's distracting you from the plot!! 🤣
I know I'm probably the only one who noticed this, but Kin Shriner, who played Scotty Baldwin on General Hospital was in this one. I caught sight of him a couple of times in the review. And when I went to check Imdb, I found Ross Hagen as well, star of quite a few bad movies.
I think I'll give this a miss; thanks for suffering on our behalf, Robin. I like the Guards in Chronicles of Riddick; they may not be Nobel Prize Winners, but they do get a bit of characterization beyond getting knifed in the neck.
I'm really sorry to see that this movie seems to have caused damage to the Robin DCR-3000 android but I appreciate the review. Anytime one is in the mood for sexy, stupid, silly, fun Fred Olen Ray (like Jim Wynorski and others like them) is sure to deliver. Just be sure to check your logical mind at the door. Great review!
At 4:28, bad guy gets elbowed in the chest and reacts by rubbing his nose. Gotta love those B pics. Btw, anyone who shopped at a Blockbuster was familiar with content creation. You'd show up looking for a big budget release, only to find it had been rented out and your horror options were on the bottom shelf of the new releases. Saw a lot of these, but it usually didn't matter cuz I was half in the bag.
In the animated movie "Titan AE" there is a good clip where Our Heroes are trying to rescue one of their own from a slave compound. They dress up as slavers and try to bluff their way past the guard. The guard shoves his gun in their nose and says "You are not slavers. This one doesn't carry himself like a slave, I wager he's ex military. A slaver would start a conversation with a threat, its traditional. And this one is obviously wearing a bed sheet as a disguise." DERP! Plan B - knock out the guard. "An intelligent guard," they say as they pass. "I didn't see that one coming."
In Bladerunner, both of the female replicants, Zhora and Pris, were pleasurebots. In the novel "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" androids were not made as pleasurebots, as it was against the law for humans to have sex with androids. It still happened from time to time, though.
i haven't seen it in a while, so i don't remember if it's more the guards or the warden who aren't stupid, but "Le Trou" has an ending that would suggest someone looking out for the inmates had an IQ above 100.
Thank you for putting the idea of Terminator Sex Nuns in my mind. That's going to take a while to get rid of. There's probably already a movie out there now I think about it. Going to have to check out of morbid curiosity...
@@heidifedor I just re-read my earlier comment and noticed I typed "would" instead of "wouldn't". Corrected it. I think I need to replace my keyboard... :)
The movie shares its title with the short-lived British futuristic gameshow of the same name hosted by Craig "Dave Lister" Charles from 1993. ruclips.net/video/pyNkTNricVs/видео.html
We actually have a real-life of Humberstone. Ron DeSantis. Also, word is ' pleasure droids' Really Are on the drawing board for the next decade. Sleep on that tonight.
“Now the homeless have their own sex nun” has to be the best ending to a movie ever.
is it sad that i recognize the actor playing the homeless man is Hoke Howell?
@@TheMule47 - one of the (few) good things you can say abut Fred Olen Ray is that he casts older character and B-movie actors, a lot.
Now *that's* a charity I could get behind!
I can already see the title on the storyboard for that last scene: "Nun takes hobo up back alley".
Maybe the other way around?
@@ajivins1 Depends on the model of the Nun...
THE END. 🤗
Kind of a bummer to see where Donovan ends up after leaving the resistance. 😢
Yeah, but once this civilization eventually falls, he can get back to his chosen career as a Beastmaster..
Mining colony on Jupiter? They don't need sex droids. They need prayers.
That's why they're dressed as nuns.
@@Pseudobadger hahahaha
Or....Sean Connery?
@@zetetick395 Oooooh! You beat me to it!
@@SupremeGreatGrandmaster
Netizen life: There's always someone, isn't there?
"Once she takes those glasses off, she'll be the prettiest girl in school!"
-Robin in another review..
Which one was that?
Re: Guards. Classic scene in Titan A.E. where the guard points out all the mistakes in the heroes' attempt to fool him.
No matter how bad a film may be, it's always fun to see Marc Singer playing the hero.
I don't know about the guard being smart, but there is one scene in "Gangster Squad" (2013) that sticks in my memory. When the good cops are heading into the nightclub through a back entrance, they encounter your typical "burly guard/henchman". The hero (can't remember if it was Josh Brolin or Ryan Gosling) tried a quick knockout punch (typical troupe), only to have the guard flinch, then give the hero a look that says, "Dude, did you just hit me?" The heroes then had to keep hitting the guard until he did go down. This scene was so unexpected, since the guard/henchman was only in the one scene.
Titan A.E. is the only movie with smart guards
Great movie. I'm going to have to put back on my "to watch again" list...
There's two guards in Once Upon A Time in Mexico (which is not good)...who at least show some humanity while being competent IIRC. They get told by the big bad that they can torture Antonio Banderas if they want (or is it Johnny Depp's character?)...after the bad guy leaves one of the guards turns to the other and says "I got tortured once. I didn't like it." and they leave Banderas alone... I do think they end up dying in a gun battle later...
"Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?"
Ruben Blades is the prospective victim.
Checking out reviews of this, and one I think says it all:
"Fred Olen Ray rips off Blade Runner and tries to distract you from that fact with tittties. It almost works."
Judging from this, it really doesn't, but at least we got The Beastmaster himself, Marc Singer, Brinke Stevens, and whichever of Fred Olen Ray's regulars were willing to pose naked -- so that's a plus, right? And ... wait, is that Robert Quarry?!! Count Yorga?!
Heck, THAT is what's distracting you from the plot!! 🤣
All I know is that it has the great Marc Singer...& his cool ass trench coat. Good enough.
Poor guy got so traumatized watching this flick, he flubbed the outro. Repeatedly.
I know I'm probably the only one who noticed this, but Kin Shriner, who played Scotty Baldwin on General Hospital was in this one. I caught sight of him a couple of times in the review. And when I went to check Imdb, I found Ross Hagen as well, star of quite a few bad movies.
Shouldn't that big fella have said "I come in peace"?
I think he came in something else in this film.
Say what you want, but I just can't say no to the Beastmaster himself, Marc Singer.
You need a blooper reel for this channel!
6:02 Robin is a hologram?! 😱
I think I'll give this a miss; thanks for suffering on our behalf, Robin.
I like the Guards in Chronicles of Riddick; they may not be Nobel Prize Winners, but they do get a bit of characterization beyond getting knifed in the neck.
Future Force...Future Zone...Cyber Zone...Cyber Force? Really memorable title choices here.
1:00 When that guy said that "4 sex droids were stolen from the mining colony on Jupiter" my first thought was "Again?"
We had this movie for our bad movie night. It's perfect to make fun of. Thanks for the review and please do more of Mr. Olen Ray's movies.
Shoutout for mentioning The Professionals, most quotable Western ever (the final lines are just PERFECT).
It's the Beastmaster's night job
"Well this won't work; they don't get along at all!" 🤣
Droid Gunner Jack Ford? Was Harry Ford too on the nose for this subtle film?
That was fun! Cheers for the review.👍
I'm really sorry to see that this movie seems to have caused damage to the Robin DCR-3000 android but I appreciate the review. Anytime one is in the mood for sexy, stupid, silly, fun Fred Olen Ray (like Jim Wynorski and others like them) is sure to deliver. Just be sure to check your logical mind at the door. Great review!
At 2:04 - (and later also, the bad guys place) That IS the Deckard apartment set from BLade Runner! Not even kidding.
A film with competent guards? I'd say Take the Money and Run, since the prison guards immediately catch Woody Allen when he tries to escape.
And it sets up the film's punchline.
One of these days, you must do a retrospective of Doug McClure movies. He's been in some real howlers.
Yeah, I may remember him from such films as ... um ... that "lost world" one ... and ... that other that "lost world" one.
With all the horror and corruption in the news it’s nice to hear those beautiful organ chords ❤
I can empathize with those missed takes at the end. I often feel like throwing up after watching anything by Rey myself.
Intelligent guards. I only know Pratchett adaptions (Guards! Guards! and Going Postal).
Wait.....are you telling me this movie could have inspired Bioshock?
I dunno, love droids that aren't programmed to understand what 'no' means sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.
At 4:28, bad guy gets elbowed in the chest and reacts by rubbing his nose. Gotta love those B pics.
Btw, anyone who shopped at a Blockbuster was familiar with content creation. You'd show up looking for a big budget release, only to find it had been rented out and your horror options were on the bottom shelf of the new releases. Saw a lot of these, but it usually didn't matter cuz I was half in the bag.
In the animated movie "Titan AE" there is a good clip where Our Heroes are trying to rescue one of their own from a slave compound. They dress up as slavers and try to bluff their way past the guard. The guard shoves his gun in their nose and says "You are not slavers. This one doesn't carry himself like a slave, I wager he's ex military. A slaver would start a conversation with a threat, its traditional. And this one is obviously wearing a bed sheet as a disguise." DERP! Plan B - knock out the guard. "An intelligent guard," they say as they pass. "I didn't see that one coming."
In Bladerunner, both of the female replicants, Zhora and Pris, were pleasurebots. In the novel "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" androids were not made as pleasurebots, as it was against the law for humans to have sex with androids. It still happened from time to time, though.
Some good guards are the ones at the Iceberg Lounge in the Batman. They try and do their job.
Appropriate ending for this one.
Happy to see Matthias as an anti-hero for once! I thought he always played a bad guy.
Haha! This is in my queue on Tubi!
My favorite movie where the security guard is intelligent - TITAN AE
The guy that plays Hawks, sure I've seen him play many goons and henchmen before.
2:40 Was this submarine model used in something else? It looks really familiar.
i haven't seen it in a while, so i don't remember if it's more the guards or the warden who aren't stupid, but "Le Trou" has an ending that would suggest someone looking out for the inmates had an IQ above 100.
What a fall from grace for Marc Singer. From "V" in the 80s to this shit in the 90s.
Also known as Phoenix 2. Anyone seen the first Phoenix? haha
_"1995's Cyberzone is....."_ *SOLD!*
Words are hard!
great again ! thanks
He is wearing the flight suit costume from The Last StarFighter in the Thumbnail. Weird.
Geez! Beastmaster! I mean Droid Gunner... Lol
I really can't think of one, Robin.
Doesn't matter how bad the movie is if Marc Singer is shirtless and Matthias Hues flexes his biceps it's automatically 5 out of 5. No discussion.
Where can i send after one of those pleasure droids..Im in the mood for machine..
Why are these droids so important that they need to risk / people to get them back? Are they that expensive?
I love that t-shirt
Wasn't Blade Runner's look pretty expensive though? Sid Mead and all that?
i might have to see this for myself. for reasons...
This was a tax-write-off movie, surely. Segal must have been taking notes
Wait a minute? Did Terminator 3 rip off this movie with the strip club?
Thank you for putting the idea of Terminator Sex Nuns in my mind. That's going to take a while to get rid of.
There's probably already a movie out there now I think about it. Going to have to check out of morbid curiosity...
Yeah, I really wouldn't recommend typing that into a search engine unless you really want some VERY disturbing results...
@@cord113 I’ll pass, thanks.
@@heidifedor Good choice. I recently watched "Nuns on the Run" again. That's how I like my Nuns in movies. :)
@@heidifedor I just re-read my earlier comment and noticed I typed "would" instead of "wouldn't". Corrected it. I think I need to replace my keyboard... :)
If you are going to rip-off Leone... The LEAST you can do is give it some context!
Even if you were looking for a bit of cheap T & A, this looks beyond terrible. Thanks so much for saving us all the bother.
The movie shares its title with the short-lived British futuristic gameshow of the same name hosted by Craig "Dave Lister" Charles from 1993. ruclips.net/video/pyNkTNricVs/видео.html
3:55 I never realized there was such a thing as Vulcan strippers. Doesn't sound very logical.
Romulan strippers perhaps?
@a.champagne6238 If the Romulans thought it would annoy the Vulcans, I could see the Romulans doing that.
Vampire stripper was the best character in the whole film.
And literally looks like a certain RUclips content creator.
We love you, Niki.
that was actually B-movie queen Brinke Stevens under all that makeup.
Marc Singer hasn't had much of a career after The Beastmaster and V.
I think the idea had merit, just poor execution.
Eyy
🎉
Are there more upcoming reviews featuring sex bot films? Asking for a friend.
If we can find them. Sadly all we have lined up is naked exploits of Deathstalker.
Well if it has been five minutes since the movie showed boobs it is at least very considerate of the viewers.
Sex butts are habit forming.
But...
"....conservative utopia....." errr ...isn't that an oxymoron? Although in the dull original, women had a poor time, too.
Awful movie where is it streaming , 🙂
We actually have a real-life of
Humberstone.
Ron DeSantis.
Also, word is ' pleasure droids'
Really Are on the drawing board
for the next decade.
Sleep on that tonight.