Hello friends. Been a minute. Sorry about that. Just want to thank everyone for the patience and support, this was a weirdly complicated video to put together, especially with life shit firing off during the production. I dont really know how i feel about the video now, but I do know it’s time to move on and make other stuff. As ever thanks to everyone who supports the channel and keeps it going, and if you would like to be one of them, you can find my patreon here: www.patreon.com/Supereyepatchwolf And my merch here (I promise my merch is good): eyepatchwolves.com/en-eur/ That’s all. You have my word the next video will be out way sooner than this one. Stay safe out there guys.
@@ryansch682 I did some reading about the 1979 Manchester Woolworths fire after this video (being very specific because apparently restaurants in Britain just catch fire all the time!) and it looks like the real story is a lot less stupid, or at least stupid for different, sadder reasons. There were about 500 people in the 6-storey building when the fire started. It caught a bunch of furniture which was made of polyurethane foam, which is very flammable, and spreads flames as it melts, and quickly produces a lot of toxic, thick, black smoke. Investigators believe the smoke hid the emergency exit signs in the restaurant. Also *the restaurant windows were covered with iron bars.* Of those who survived, 47 had to be hospitalized. It's not that people didn't try to escape; it's that they were hindered by anti theft measures, and poisoned and blinded by cheap furniture.
"Ah, Perry the Platypus, you're trapped... by societal convention! Look, we're in a fine dining enviornment, everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant! That's right, you're trapped, sit down."
Wouldn't it be taken away by itself when someone really deeply thinks about who and why they are and what others really think about them ! Is it only me! I thought everyone had a period of identity crisis in their 20s
@@arturoaguilar6002 LOL i guess i had my crisis too early at late 20's . Was 3 years of living hell but the breakthrough worth it Now I'm 35 i wonder if i will go through another radical change at 40 again or not
@@arturoaguilar6002what does it mean when you're in a perpetual state of existential crises? A 29 year long existential crisis, if you will? Edit: nvm, I think that's just called ✨Neuroticism✨
This just makes me think of my disabilities (mentally and physically) and also my eating disorder and such and how people have weird versions of my own memories (the ones that stuck with me despite my many seizures and memory loss) and how I reacted and such. And then watching myself change and experiencing things differently and then having people tell me I look or seem different than I thought. it sucks...
I think the most fucked, meta-horror element of "All my friends hate me" is that the main character is actually a bit of a douche. The horror goes from "Oh god, I hope my friends don't hate me like they hate the main character" to "Oh wait, the main character is kind of a douche" to "Oh god am I a douche and everyone is just putting up with me but secretly hates me?!"
From what it described here, the MC clearly meant to be a narcissist. A realistic depiction at that. He is a douche that can't be bothered to ask about his friend's life since they last met while 'begging' to be heard about his life. He was a 'douche' to others, but can't handle a douche to him. The climax reveal his true character that when he was wrong, he chose to argue rather than admitting it. Depend on who you are talking to for opinion, honestly, can't blame him and that's the question of right and wrong in this movie.
YEP YEP YEP, im sat here wondering. am i the asshole..? am i like my narcissistic mother. and same with speak no evil. the guy saying its their fault. scares the crap out of me. and just these movies made a spiral and than i realize. wait no... i have free will. i always worry about others, i always try and put the people i love first but it comes back with me getting upset at them wondering "why dont they give smth back" its smth im still working and processing on but my god DOES THIS VIDEO JUST THROW ME AS FAR INTO THAT PIT. its scary..
the fact that at the end he says that "he knows it seems small compared to the other things but...", i was like no!! yours sounds the most horrifying because there is no real answer to why this happened!
@@frankiesayspanic I think the reveal is that it turned out to be one of his friends, presumably someone who would invite him to his wedding. Kind of helps lessen the nightmare.
It's that terrifying realization that some people are truly evil. There's no logic, no reason here. Nothing they have to gain outside of fulfilling their perverted desire. To me, it goes against the model of society I carefully constructed to be able to have any semblance of social life.
@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 it's not really about evil. it's more about social pressure, how being told by a convincing authority figure to do something and being told it's "all part of the plan" will make people comply with the worst things.
As a man with paranoid schizophrenia, I have the following to say to you: It's okay. You're fine. People like you. They wouldn't waste their time if they didn't. You don't have to worry. I know I'm just a stranger, but in a way, we're all strangers. No one can truly know someone else, not totally. But we all experience humanity, and it really is going to be okay. We beat these demons one day at a time, by trusting people we care about and doing things we love. Hang in there.
That’s a beautiful message to share with any stranger on the internet to read, especially with adding your diagnosis to give more meaning to your words. I have ADHD, Autism and BPD (which is also now called EUPD or EIPD, whatever name is used to describe it, my issues with intense anxiety and paranoia are one of the symptoms and I can find myself not living in the same reality as other people because it feels real to me when I’m spiralling) Lovely, reassuring comments like yours make me feel a bit better about my interpersonal issues, lack of social skills etc. because it’s a little bit of reassurance that you aren’t the only one who has ever felt that way, but if we can be kind like you were in your comment, to ourselves and others, things get a little easier to deal with for maybe even a moment. Just a reminder that things can and will be ok can mean so much , even if you can’t feel it then it still helps to read it, even if at that point you can’t believe it, it’s so kind of you to leave a comment like this as a reminder just to be kind to strangers like me reading this. 😅Thank you and I hope you have a good day 😸
Speak No Evil is an immaculate breakdown of abuser behavior. Slowly, carefully encroaching on your boundaries, slowly escalating to abuse you can't recognize because your boundaries have become mush. And all the while they make room for you to feel you let it happen. Making you feel that you allowed the abuse, or even that you deserved it. Instead of seeing yourself as a kind person being socially accommodating or a loving partner trying to compromise and empathize.
Truly. And it makes my blood boil when he answers "why are you doing this?" with "because you let me". He's deflecting all blame off himself and onto his victims. The message to take away is not that the protagonists were at fault. It's the villain's fault. I haven't seen the movie myself, so I won't pretend I understand it fully, but from this breakdown, I expect the movie is much more of a warning against abusive behavior to look out for and to get away from, as opposed to victim-blaming someone for "letting someone abuse them".
@@sindrevangenrobberstad2889 I mean it can be both, especially because what the video kind of summarizes that because we are social creatures we are vulnerable to these types of abusive behavior; it's their fear of offending the guy that allows the guy to take advantage of that and weaponize it against them.
I had a really toxic relationship that started with the same flattering praise that was described here, that the moment it happened I was immediately suspicious. I don't want to say having that relationship was a good thing, because it left me with a lot of trust issues, but that suspicion of blind praise has saved my bacon a few times over the years.
I just thought when listening to the breakdown was "hey, what if that manic pixie dream boy in all those romantic movies, the one who makes everyone feel alive, is actually a psychopath?"
For anyone wondering, the guy who was doing the abuse phone scams is named David R. Stewart. He was prosecuted but the prosecution shit the bed and he was acquitted. They found the phone cards he used to make these scam calls as well as the police uniforms that he wore to buy the phone cards. The scam calls stopped after he was arrested.
this confuses me even more, so was it an example of a random phone call thing that happened? oh nevermind sorry by "phone call thing" I thought you meant the story he tells at the end lmao not the phone call strip search thing
“That probably doesn’t sound like much after everything we’ve talked about.” My brother in Christ, if that happened to me, I would be driven to mind-shattering madness.
This video reminded me of a story told to me by my mother, and I think it fits the mood perfectly. This happened to her decades ago, on the eve of her 18th birthday, all of a sudden, a full week before the day itself, her friends start to act weird around her. They begin to avoid her, they constantly ask her if she's got plans for specific days, they visibly exclude her from conversations and street get-togethers. Everyone does this, including the one who would become my father. She has no idea what's going on, she thinks she might have wronged them in some way, but does not ask, because she has no one to turn to for explanations, it's all subtle behaviour, even her childhood closest girlfriends. This goes on until her birthday, where, from her perspective, no one gave a shit about her the entire day, no one wished her happy birthday and no one gave her a gift. Defeated and beyond pissed at this point she goes back home in the evening, where everyone is there, wishing her a happy 18th, with a surprise birthday party. I don't think the english language can adequately convey the scenario she described to me, but let's just say that she told them off. Since everyone there is a southern italian the humor flows, jokes are cracked and everyone (presumably, she does not remember much from the party itself) has a good time. They even gave her a cute ring. To this day she still remembers the hushed tones and skittish looks, not the cool party, and to this day she gets irrationally angry when she catches you hiding secrets from her, even banale shit. They are all still very chill, but what a number they pulled. Excluded, but at the center of attention, ignored, but also having your every move scrutinized and questioned. I don't know if the party was worth it lads.
Came across this comment at random. What a fucked up thing to have happen to your mum on her 18th birthday. She was right to be incandescent with rage.
After watching this video and reading this comment, I feel like this contextualizes why the surprise party scenerios make me so angry. I remember being a kid and whenever there were cartoon episodes where a character gets ignored by those around them all day and later it turns out to be a surprise party, I would hate those episodes with every fiber of my being. I think its because of how unecessarily malicious the ignoring and isolating would feel to the point where I'm like "How are you this stupid to not realize how upset this is making them feel?" The whiplash of the character being happy and grateful for the surprise anyway made it worse too, as if they weren't treated like trash the rest of the episode. It's like if they couldn't feel angry about it as well because then THEY'D look like the jerk. Guess all I can say directly is thank you for helping me find an explanation to something that made me irrationally angry as a kid
I hate surprises. They rob me of all the joy of the anticipation. I had a girlfriend who lived 70 miles away and did surprise visits. Not my thing. I have to point out to her everytime that she's not allowed to judge me if everything isn't perfectly clean to her liking, which is something she found impossible to avoid. I knew a mentally ill person whose mom did surprise visits when they clearly made him a nervous wreck. Once asked her why she did them. She told of one story when she was a little girl where someone did it to her and she loved it. Treating people the way you want to be treated isn't always the way, but to treat them the way they want to be treated is usually the answer when considering how to love a person.
Yeah caused a deep rooted negative core memory for her, that also gave her basically a mini trauma about people wanting to keep a secret from her...to say that a surprise party wasnt worth all that, is probably an understatement. They could have thrown that party without treating her like an outcast for days at the very least.
I think what's so disturbing about the stepford wives in particular is that, for a period of time, women and girls with mental health issues and/or mood disorders were routinely lobotomized against their will if their husbands or fathers wanted it.
Prior to the popularization of lobotomy, they were often forcibly confined to a sanitarium, after being "diagnosed" with "hysteria" or "neurasthenia" or other nonsense "disorders" which were applied exclusively or primarily to women. While there, they were commonly subjected to "treatments" which amounted to little more than extended torture sessions. The mildest was the "rest cure", which involved forcibly confining a victim to bed for anywhere from days to months without any activity at all, not even being allowed to read. The severity of the "treatments" inflicted on them escalated from there, and were all-to-often fatal. Electroconvulsive therapy was even more popular than lobotomy, at around the same time. While not as brutal, it could still have a profoundly damaging effect when used frequently over an extended period of time, causing long-term cognitive impairment. It was a particularly popular "treatment" for homosexuality, and a lot of lesbians were forced into ECT. (It's still used today to treat certain severe mental disorders, but in a much milder form with far better protocols.)
@@EphemeralTao I found out about this because of the Yellow Wallpaper, a really good short story first published in 1892 about a woman slowly going insane from being prescribed a 'rest cure' where the only thing she could do after being locked in the attic was stare at the yellow wallpaper. Charlotte Gilman wrote it after going through the same thing
OK, I get that the past was the worst, but even back then I'm shocked that that was legal. Like it seems like something that would've been messed up even by the standards of the day.
While watching your segment on the experiments on social conformity, my first thought was, "I wouldn't be so cowardly. I'd stick to my guns." But then I started thinking about the times when I should've spoken up, but didn't, because I was afraid of getting hurt, or merely afraid of making a scene. None of us are immune to social pressure. But then I thought further about the times I DID speak up, about the times I physically intervened when people were being harassed or assaulted. Conforming to social pressure is real, but it's not inevitable. We can all stand up for what's right at least some of the time, and that isn't nothing. So take heart y'all. You don't need to be brave every time. You just need to be brave once.
Even if I wasn't worried about not conforming or not going with the group per se, I think I'd still worry that I'd missed a vital memo or didn't understand something important about the situation in which I found myself. But, when I witness injustice or abuse, that's cut-and-dry, and I have historically intervened in some way in those cases.
I have been the one person in the classroom fighting w the professor enough times to know what I'd do. I am way too salty when people act unfairly to me.
I think a big part of this is being aware of the downfalls. I've watched conformity, I learned about the Milgram and Stanford experiments - and even though the science there is questionable at best, it's still a valuable lesson to be aware of this. Plus, in my case at least, the older I get, the less fucks I give, and I think that's true for a lot of people. That's why abusive & controlling men usually try to go for much younger women: easier to control. To a certain point, conformity also has it's upsides though. Like, people might behave better if they feel judged than when they are alone in a room. But knowing about the human tendency to conform and knowing what the bystander effect is, does help to avoid this in the future.
The best lesson my grandfather ever taught me was: "no matter what happens, as long as you're certain you're right. Keep walking forward even if everyone you see walks in the opposite direction."
My mother said something similar to this. She was educating us on things like sexism and preventing abuse/SA (she was a victim) and such from a very early age. She knew my sisters and I would only act out when something was bad/wrong. Examples: I got suspended for kicking a boy in the crotch... despite the fact that I was passed out from a seizure and woke up to him lifting my shirt and touching me. Or how my sister pushed a kid down after he called her Pilsbury Doughboy and poked her in the boobs and body over and over all day long. Or when my sisters and I did "Day of Silence" for the Gay/Straight Alliance and some substitute tried to mark us absent and kick us out of the class for being silent and then began saying prejudice things about LGBTQ+ kids, calling them the F-word and such just to rile us up and make us talk and then laugh at what failures we are.
@@lainiwakura1776 I love this comparison because it implies a really weird similarity. That line in Speak No Evil functions as a sort of moral judgement against meekness (one that's a little too smug and on-the-nose for my tastes, but whatever), so maybe it's the same for the line from The Strangers. That's the problem with society. People just spend too much time at home. Go out once in a while. Live a little. Don't be like the couple from The Strangers, who clearly sealed their own fate.
He skipped some of the more gruelling details of that movie. The other couple kidnaps their kid and cuts off her tongue, as they had with the other child that was "theirs". The film ends with the demented couple basically getting away scot free after killing them, mutilating their child, and keeping her.
I've never really been a movie guy but the premise of speak no evil seemed so interesting that i paused the video, watched the whole thing and came back. This made me realize how amazing movies can be. The suspense, the hints, the tension, the constant feeling that something is off, honestly i could go on forever. This was one of the best if not the best movie I've ever seen and now I'm more interested in movies than I'd ever thought i would be. Patrick's final quote just hit me so hard that i had to sit and stare at my laptop for minutes as the credits rolled. Honestly John this might be the best thing I've found from your channel. Thank you for talking about this movie.
All My Friends Hate Me hits too hard, because I'm always second guessing whether people actually do like me or are just being polite. And I cannot relax. The moment I do, something goes wrong.
It's why I love having friends who are a bit jerky sometimes. Like, I know these people are not super polite, so I know that if I'm being annoying or mean or whatever, they will just tell me: "hey, please stop doing that, you're being very annoying". I can't tell you how relaxing that is, having lived in a country where the culture is people being polite always, only to later hear they were pissed off about everything. The country is Belgium btw, I never want to live there again. The politest people ever, but the constant anxiety broke my mind.
Man, The Lottery is one of those stories from middle school that just sticks with you forever. As soon as you're reminded of it, it all comes flooding back.
Oh my god, I loved that story! It was such a whiplash to read something like that so young. The “movie” made for it only solidified how much it stuck with me, personally (its a really short movie, I just cant think of a word for it rn)
Okay that's CRAZY, I've thought about it for the first time in 4 years just yesterday or the day before, and now it's in a Super Eyepatch Wolf video. Absolutely crazy.
@@TheMightyPika for the most part, people should be as nice as possible for the good of humanity and basic human decency. But you should stand up for yourself when you know something isn’t right, regardless if it hurts anyone’s feelings because there’s lines you shouldn’t cross morally.
Or in my case, if I was just a "normal" woman by society's standards. The hell I get for being a woman without kids (and who had a hysterectomy for medical reasons but still never wanted kids especially due to passing on my disabilities) and is now "useless" according to some people because I can't reproduce and then couple all that with being Asexual and both mentally and physically disabled and it just sucks... I feel like an alien in comparison to people. It's why the handful of friends I have are as messed up as me, because we all feel similar but are always wishing we could have just been normal so we'd have it easier in life.
@@NoOneReallySpecial I'm a woman in my 30s with no kids and not interested in relationships, and generally people treat me normally and fine. I do live in North America though, and I'm fortunately socially adept enough at shutting down criticism in a friendly way before it starts. If you view yourself as an "abnormal alien," then other people will treat you that way, but if you're confident and comfortable about it it often makes people question their own view.
Specially when ur thought process builded by ur parents is to constantly search for problems and errors in yourself and have fear of doing something wrong and being punished Mix it with a society that has tendency to make fun of everything in other people and on other hand a culture that shoots for idealism ... Recipe for depression added some drama .voila your delicious suicide is ready to serve
As someone who was bullied his entire childhood in school, all of this is relatable in a bothering manner. The fear of being constantly judged for what ever you do, of being a social outcast, of facing injustice while the rest just stand idly by because they don't really know what to do or are afraid of becoming targeted instead. How easily you get picked on when people have just accepted that you are that one that can be easily mocked. So you just end up constantly overthinking every action, live in constant fear of anyone bringing up anything that will put you in a negative light or give the bullies more fuel.
I totally relate. I'm still quiet as an adult. And ppl always ask why are you so chill? Well I got made fun of everytime I spoke so I choose to just stay silent and in the background 😢
I had the same thing when I was in primary school. Almost total social ostracisation. It made me paranoid for years, and I'm only slowly realising now just how fucked up my brain still is by what I went through. How much of a people pleaser it made me to try and avoid anything like that happening again. This video really dug up some stuff I need to process.
OMG I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE IN THIS SO HAPPY SOMEONES RELATE therapists keep asking why the people bully you, not understanding the concept that they simply just can so they do I can't stress enough how painful when girls just say you done something bad to them in class when you did nothing how terrifying not knowing what to do when girls kick you in the balls for no reason the way they ask why are you not doing anything and the pain of not knowing what to do because there was nothing to be done back then, I was weaker than the girls let alone the boys I was different and weak to defend myself
I was so glad to see an All My Friends Hate Me section! That final scene in the car with Pete's fiancee is honestly the most haunting "seemingly defeated monster's hand comes back and grabs the protagonist" horror movie ending I think I've ever seen.
Being autistic and raised in a highly social world has caused me immeasurable suffering that this video encapsulates perfectly and horrifically. I don't understand anyone and people rarely understand me. And as a result I have had people try to hurt me for things I still can't understand and I've unintentionally hurt others because of the things I've said or done. I can't trust what people say anymore because I've been lied to about so many things and had people who I thought cared about me reveal how much that despised me for not being able to remember names and faces of people I can't remember ever meeting or how I have no real skills that make me useful. I'm almost 29 and even as I'm re-enrolling in college to hopefully gain some sort of experience to help me I still fear my true inability to live in this world.
real. the way i keep going and stave off the urge to do it is to view my life as a story in a book. not all books have a happy ending. and everyones last page before the back cover is their death. and ive always hated unfinished stories and cliffhangers left unsolved by a sequel that never came. but because we all die eventually whatever happens, happens. atleast the book will close.
Fellow diagnosed ASDer. Your feelings are legit, and so is you striving to go to college again. You're a little older, a little wiser, a little more experienced. Always remember that, when/if you're afraid things will play out the same. You're the person who went through it already.
You know what made me feel a lot better about being an adult with autism? Dungeon Meshi. Laios doesn’t try to mask or conform to expectations, he just is himself and lives the kind of life he wants to live. His friends start off unsure about him, but come to understand and accept the ways he expresses himself. He’s just…..allowed to be autistic and have as many eccentricities as his friends do.
Beau Is Afraid sounds so fucked up. Holy shit. It's like a reversed chaotic The Truman Show. Definitely a movie I'd like to watch in the future. Also, this is genuinely one of the best video essays I watched this year, if not ever. It's incredible. Thank you for making this. It somehow manages to describe a feeling I've felt several times throughout my life, but didn't know how to encapsulate.
I quit an improv comedy class because I was convinced the laughs I got were not the right kind of laughs. The first few minutes of this video hit home. Looking back on it I think it was all in my head.
U know socialism was responsible for more ded ppl n the 20th century than ths history of religion. Of course Marxism is a religion. But we're not counting it for these puposes.
@@arturoaguilar6002 You can't, that's the point. And it's probably less "they're laughing at how bad I am" and more "they're laughing because it's the socially acceptable thing to do at improv class but nothing I did was actually funny".
Two things First, This is the most horrifying video I've seen of yours. I have anxiety, and just that moment of "nobody laughing at my joke" really got me, and it was just the beginning. This is my new favorite video of yours. Second thing: Once there was a fire outside of my school and it was just creeping in, and NOBODY seemed to care but me; it drove me crazy telling my few friends that we should tell the principal or something and they just saying "it's alright". I can proudly say that I did tell the principal (who was just mildly concerned but at least reacted) and I just got out of the school. Later my friend sent me a message saying that I was right, that they ended up evacuating the whole school because just the smoke was already to heavy to be safe (my school is pretty open, so imagine). I can say confidently that I'd exited that room.
My favorite band released a song titled "Death of the Party" and I bought the shirt with the title in a heartbeat because there is nothing more stressful than when I think I have something to contribute to a conversation and everyone's just laughing and having fun and it looks like a good time and then I say my piece and the conversation just stops and people stop talking and it just ends... like, this has happened A LOT and I have even asked "what did I say? did I do something wrong?" and sometimes get told "nah, you're all good./you didn't do anything, why would you ask that?" but lots of times I am just left wondering... why?!?!! Thus I feel like the death of the party.
A video that I thought would be silly to watch is actually scaring me because I have autism and have experienced a lot of scenarios where people obviously wished that I just…wasn’t there
I'm also autistic and the profound loneliness that comes along with being alienated by allistic society our entire lives definitely makes this video hit very, very hard 😅
I watched All My Friends Hate Me and even tho I had it spoiled, it was still hard to watch. Almost cried a few times, as I have been in similar situations and I felt the anxiety and shame and embarassment as I watched the movie. "Not everything is about you, the world doesn't revolve around you" was a powerful line that got me at the end.
That last bit has brought me so much comfort many times in my life. I like to force myself to acknowledge and remember that people aren't thinking about me as much as I believe they are and that they exist outside of my perception of them and vice versa.
Gotta disagree with Wolf there concerning All My Friends Hate Me. I've watched the movie, and personally even taking account the final revelation I still found the "friends" to be utter assholes.
Pete didn't deserve that...I mean, after not seeing each other for years, Pete *tries* to catch up and the friends all shut that down with their "No talking shop" rule. Every attempt to make sense of what's going on gets cut off up until they set up a surprise performer as a roast that Pete has no knowledge of until he's just sitting there being mocked to his face. No wonder he breaks...
@@Seiryu64 Right? I mean Peter is by no means perfect. A bit sanctimonious and won't shut up about his volunteer work with refugees. But then you put him next to these "friends" and frankly I was rooting for him the whole movie. The shotgun and axe "pranks" are not just in poor taste, they're simply sociopath behaviour. And that roast at the end? A proper roast would be made by the friends themselves, but getting a stranger to make an impression of him? How's that supposed to be funny? You don't bring a stranger into that. That's mean spirited humiliation devoid of fun, the opposite of a true well-done party roast. Truly, I don't understand the reading of the movie as the friends being in the right and that "Pete can't take a joke" be taken seriously.
As someone with both a degree in psychology and a master's in social work I've been in many classes where we talk about these kinds of social research. I think one thing that often gets left out is that these people aren't just going along to go along, there are often very real consequences to not conforming with the people around you. We can see it in the way that neurodivergent people get bullied and ostracized for not being able to pick up and conform to social cues. If the person exerting the pressure has some kind of power over you like a boss or a teacher then there's an extra level of fear since they can enact even more dangerous punishments on you if you do not conform. Maybe it's the social worker in me and the principal of the "person in their environment" But I really think we should talk more about the social contexts and pressures being exerted and less on the individual who is conforming for their own safety.
Yeah like with the smoke through the door experiment. It actually did turn out not doing anything was correct and the people who weren't reacting were doing so for a good reason. It was indeed fine to trust that if you were the only one freaking out it must not be a big deal.
This is such a good point. And it’s also worth noting how this social mirroring and social pressure can also keep us safe. Because there are situations where the rest of the group may be more aware of a danger than you, the individual, are. Like when everyone in a hiking group stands well back from some wildlife except for that one guy who thinks he can take a selfie with the animals. Or when everyone is handling fireworks with caution except doe one drunk asshole who eventually gets his hand blown off, or worse. In that case, mirroring the group could save your life. This is why it’s illegal to post pictures of yourself going beyond certain boundaries in Yellowstone, for instance. Because if people see others getting too close to the acidic pools, it normalizes a very dangerous, often deadly practice. So social pressure isn’t always a bad thing.
@@dharmictribulationsyes! I was thinking this too. In this case, the test subject is *actually* correct in their assessment that the rest of the group must know something that they don’t! Their social instincts are working perfectly and accurately assessing the danger of the situation.
@@hollyhaunted6502That's also a very good point. Like, if it WERE a real fire, just by fact of statistics at least a few other people would also notice and try to get away, but because they didn't you're kinda wired to go "must be normal then". I bet if they did an altered experiment and had even just 1 or 2 of the actors leave, the test subject would have also left.
The video gave me several micro panic attacks, kept me from sleeping, and made me rethink my entire existence. 10/10 no notes. I have to write something.
I find this deep dive fascinating, because what you're tapping into is often talked about in the neurodiverse community. A lot of us actively struggle with social contracts and identity, and "masking" (disguising your undesirable traits by conforming) is common to the point of having its own name. Personal liberty vs social acceptance is a hard fought battle indeed
Especially the end scene of BO hit so hard for me. "No matter what you will do you will never be enough" and the entire thing about no matter how much you try to hide it, one day the people arround you will notice that something is wrong with you" hit like a truck
@@jatfox4663 Personally I came to accept the fact that I would never be able to appear normal to others when I was in high school, but that was a very liberating experience for me. No point in making myself miserable if other people can tell anyway, so I might as well just give up, stop worrying and be myself. Some people are gonna hate me no matter what but at least this way I'm giving the people who might love me a chance to get to know me and form a connection. This is all the stuff I told myself and ironically I have way more friends now than I did back then. I remember this storytime youtuber called illymation talk about having similar experiences so I was under the impression that this was a pretty common thing
@@wahpah imagine you were in the same situation as the girl who participated in the experiment where she was tricked into standing for the bell. You stand for the bell, dutifully fulfilling the social contract that you have been given every reason to think was shared by everyone around you. over time you notice that not everyone stands for the bell, but the people around you continue to stand, so you continue thinking that you must be doing something right. one day you stand for the bell as normal and everyone around you just stares at you in disgust. "what is wrong with you?!" the nearest person snaps as you sit back down.
When I was 14 I went on a ski trip with my class. Everyone was split into groups with an instructor in each. The problem was, I wasn’t a very attentive kid, so I fucked off and just went skiing by myself. I got a little worried I’d get in trouble at first though, so I asked a kid which hill the group I was supposed to be in was at, and the kid said “YOU’RE OUT OF YOU’RE GROUP!!?” And everyone in the lodge looked at me with distain and hatred for no real reason. So you know what I did. I kept skiing by myself and the teachers didn’t do shit. That’s the moral of the story, just do your own thing.
Grouping is done to keep the kids safe and supervised. You wandered away, and while trying to make your way back, was shunned for breaking away from the crowd in the first place. A kid breaking a taboo was a bigger deal than keeping a kid safe. 😮💨 That tracks with these stories
Still though, you made a good point. We had been ingrained to base our joys to other people that we forgot that in the end, the only person who can give us satisfaction is ourselves.
that's their (the other kids') loss, i'd have thought you were SO cool for going and just doing it all by yourself. i never had the courage to do anything like that lol. the only time i ever really "abandoned" whatever group of students i was supposed to stay with was the time that a teacher triggered some deep trauma in me and i walked out of the classroom in a literal daze, only half aware of my surroundings. i was found sitting at a table in the courtyard, so i didn't go far or get into trouble, but i had to basically be out of my mind to ever even consider bailing lmao. honestly, i should have walked away from so many more situations, but oh well - we can't all be independent-minded 14yos who ski wherever they dang well please haha
This is _so_ weirdly similar to what happened to me, right down to the age. We were about to set off over a blind dip, my boot came off at the last minute, and by the time I'd recovered my group was gone. So I figured they'd gone the only way they could - down - and eventually ended up crying my way down a Red thinking I was going to fall off the edge. Turned out they'd peeled off to a lil cabin restaurant in the first 100m of that slope and I just hadn't been paying attention to where we'd be going next. (Thankfully the people I asked for help in my scenario were far more friendly, though most likely because I was a tall teenage boy in tears)
Not meaning to invalidate your personal experience, but whenever someone says "EVERYONE there was looking at me with judgement/disdain/hatred" it's usually not what actually happened. You FELT like they were looking at you with "disdain and hatred," but in all likelihood they were looking at the kid who loudly shouted at you in confusion, wondering what was going on, and you perceived it as negative judgement of you specifically because you knew you already felt like you had done something "wrong" by wandering off alone. Just think about it for a second; if you were in a crowded lodge and you overheard the interaction you just described, would YOU glare at a child with "disdain and hatred" for that? And if you yourself would never do that, why do you assume everyone else would?
The personal honesty in so many little parts of this video were so refreshing and made me feel so seen. I truly enjoy your work so so much. Please also know that I’m sure plenty of people who love your work and probably have insightful things to say are just too tired to do anything beyond watch the video to the end and drop a like on it. I’ve definitely been that person! I really appreciate how genuine and exposed you are, it’s an honesty so raw it’s honestly kind of shocking at times. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and you might be the only person who can speak to me in a way that resonates with the pure dread and paranoia I often live with.
I remember there was a fire in a movie theatre i was at once. No one got up to leave, fire alarms were strobbing, but we werent about to miss Ethan Hunt disarm a nuclear missle device and save the day. I didnt get up either, I cant explain why. Eventually an employee got in and was like "GUYS WTF YOU HAVE TO GO". If it was a bad fire, it wouldve been a really stupid way to die
Bystander effect. It's like the people in my neighborhood who witnessed an old woman fall down stairs, crack open her skull, and just stood there watching her cry for help as she bled everywhere. Only when my family and I got home, did someone do anything; we called police right away, cleaned up everything and made sure to apply pressure to the wound to try to stop the bleeding. This type of phenomenon has happened throughout history. People have witnessed rapes, murders, beatings, and lots of illegal stuff and did nothing because they were waiting for someone else to stand up and do something or call 911... essentially everyone is waiting for someone else to do something and then nothing gets done. And it doesn't matter how many people are around. These events have happened on trains, in Times Square, etc.
as someone who grew up with an anxiety disorder (and autism secretly) and genuinely spent ten years in cognitive behavioral therapy to try to hate myself less, the wave of anxiety that washed over me during the first three examples overwhelmed me so much i couldve thrown up IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE
Serial Experiments Lain, Paranoia Agent, Mister Organ, the works of Shirley Jackson (The Lottery, Nightmare, Renegade, The Demon Lover), Compliance, The Stepford Wives, Speak No Evil, Beau is Afraid, All My Friends Hate Me
The final scene of The Curse also reminds me of a dissociative panic attack. The way he's desperately asking for help from everyone around him, but they're all sure he's just fine and pretending or crazy, giving him "help" that actually makes things worse, until finally he's unable to maintain his tenuous hold on the world - it feels pretty relatable to me. I think the interpretation in the video is more poetic and ties the whole thing together better, but the scene works on multiple levels is all I'm saying.
Yeah it's an existentially terrifying scene for me, the imagery of falling upwards always has been for me. Something is happening only to me no one else believes there's any actual danger. I had a period of dissociative panic attacks a few years back, once got taken to the ER because of it, but most of them were me breaking down crying and wracked with anxiety for hours alone. I agree that the symbolic representation of social isolation is more fitting, but the visceral, experiential connection to that scene through dissociation, panic attacks, and being seen as "overreacting" on something that is either extremely important or extremely dire from your perspective is a stronger emotional connection.
The story behind the movie compliance is a great lesson on why the first thing you should always say to a "police officer" who is making requests is: "Where's the warrant?" Followed immediately after by "I want a lawyer." For good measure, a "fuck you" is also appreciated, but might be dangerous so use at your own discretion.
I will never forgive police drama TV for presenting warrants as a "what criminals use to avoid giving up evidence" thing in people's minds. No, these are here to protect you, so that both police and people pretending to be police have to have a good reason for investigating you.
@@vitoc8454 Oh they just hate those pesky Internal Affairs! Doing things like investigating brutality and vigilantism when they could be stopping the REAL criminals!
As soon as the strip search demand came in they should’ve told the “officer” to continue the “investigation” themselves. Maybe call the local precinct to make sure there’s actually is an investigation going on
I passionately dislike the police and government so much, that if I'd try to stop it, but I also dislike people so after saying something I'd just leave. The people would most likely still do it after I left.
My stomach dropped like crazy when you said Compliance was a true story, it’s horrific, I can’t imagine how this person would benefit if they’re not actively in the restaurant or viewing the cameras.
@@nobodyislistening150 my thing with that is that it seems like a ton of effort for something the perpetrator can’t see whatsoever, just to bust a nut to the thought of it or something?
@@Toy_Tomb some people truly are sadistic enough to get off on the horror they've inflicted on the victims, in perpetuity, and the depths to which they've easily convinced "good people" to brutalize one of their own... especially an easy target for other kinds of cruelty that could have existed in those people-- but they kept hidden. Maybe just from other people, but maybe in themselves, because they were never handed the excuse or permission from an acceptable and demanding perceived authority. These kinds of things are about control and destruction. If this person really want to hurt someone, why not use EVERYONE they know or have to see in real life, many of them who are only one or two degrees removed from some of their closest friends, to hurt them? Why not rip a bunch of people's masks of decency off, even to themselves, in the hopes they'll (very realistically) get mad and blame the only person who visibly poses an ongoing threat: the victim that can press charges against them. Even though they're all the victims of the same psychological manipulation, the level of cruelty people inflicted with the barest whiff of "someone saying he's a cop, that for some reason hasn't phoned in his buddies to come rack up some overtime hours, says to do this sick shit, iunno guess we should" absolutely deserved severe penalties. Being familiar with some of those incidents, they deserved things I can't type on RUclips, and their victims are told to "stop holding grudges" against people who have tried to allign them WITH the original scammer, ringleader scumbag. Participants hated what that betrayal showed them of themselves so much they just doubled down on victimizing the people they wounded instead of remotely look at themselves as being more akin to the caller, than the person being SA'd. By them. Nothing about these crimes is about a one-off thrill. People who do this might "improvise" in the moment, as much as you have to to juggle the different attitudes and characters, but they're doing it for the disgusting smugness they get to feel knowing that they ruined not one just one-- but dozens, HUNDREDS of lives-- in one day. Nobody from those restaurants went back home the same people, nobody's lives were the same after that... and here the caller is, talking about the same shit everyone in his life is, probably drinking a beer, everyone around them... thinks they're normal. Everyone around them thinks they're good, too. Sadism is never a one-off act of degradation, exploitation, or abuse. It exists because the pain inflicted lasts longer than it takes the initial injury to heal, if it ever does. Because people believe that people _can't_ truly do ALL THAT to a single person, to many or even dozens of people just to deeply cut at a few of them, just for a nut or a thing to smile to themselves about later, the way you might a particularly beloved animal meme. The cruelty is the point, and the fact that it'll be treated as fiction or inconceivable (despite the very real and easy way people latched onto the opportunity to go whatever their fetishized form of COPS on someone was) is very much the reason it happens.
I have social anxiety, and becoming a horror artist is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. My particular brand of horror art is all centered around enormous, detailed eyes, which is nothing new for horror artists, but I think it's very empowering to be able to create these unsettling expressions that make people feel like they're being watched. It's an expression of how I feel a lot of the time, and after being so afraid of being perceived, being able to create art that "looks back" has done a lot of good for me. Loved your Shirley Jackson analyses btw! She's one of my favorites, and "The Renegade" is high on my list of her short stories. Great video!!
I have social anxiety and suspected aspergers and I have a fascination with eyes too! Although I'm not a horror artist I always design monsters with giant eyes that look at the viewer. I still didn't unpack the reason but I have a fear of certain peoples eyes, especially icy blue eyed people
I have a slightly different read on "All My Friends Hate Me" with respect to Pete's behaviour. I think yours is a good one as well, but my read is that all those things he was doing over the course of the weekend that they ripped into him about were his desperate struggles to try and re-engage with them while feeling anxious, uncomfortable and like something was wrong. And to have those attempts torn into like that is the true climax of devastating social horror to me, that message of "yes, you were right that things were off, and any attempt you can possibly make is the wrong one, you should just have stayed silent" cuts right to the heart of a feeling I've seen expressed by many people I hold dear.
I have to disagree with that read, it just feels mean and cynical. "Other people hate you and any attempt to change that is futile" is how people with social anxiety, people like Pete, think the world works when in reality most of that is in their heads. You basically turned "All My Friends Hate Me", a movie about a man whose anxieties and guilt have turned him into someone that suspects everyone around him is out to get him, into "Beau Is Afraid" a movie about how YES EVERYONE HATES YOU, AND THEY ARE OUT TO GET YOU AND, YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID. I dislike the latter to be honest because of it's cynicism and I do believe the movie should have ended with the reveal that Beau is just living this hell in his head. That people can be shitty, but also kind and that it is Beau, who in his fear of getting hurt, of being judged refuses to engage with others. Enough of that, back to "All My Friends Hate Me", Pete is the prime example for your average person who has social anxiety in my opinion. He hates himself out of guilt for what happened, yet he also loves himself and thinks himself better than others, for his charity work and for how sophisticated he is. Pete lives with that tension and so he assumes out of narcissism that the people around him judge him, because why would they not? He is convinced others care so much about him that they look at his every action, listen to every word he says and they judge him for it, waiting for him to slip up and reveal what a piece of shit he really is. Because he also hates himself, for what he did back then, for how awkward he is, for how he struggles to fit in, and so assumes other people hate him for these things too. The reality however is that people don't judge everything you do, they quite frankly don't care. That time you tripped in PE class and fell flat on your face in front of everyone? That time you told a joke that made no one laugh? Each and every cringe worthy embarrasing moment that flashes before your eyes when going to bed? Nobody cares about that. Do you remember that time a friend tried to greet you when you randomly met in public and they flubbed the first few words? Do you remember the stranger that couldn't get a word out when asking for directions? Do you remember that time in high school when a classmate mildly fucked up during a presentation? I assume no, right? Social Anxiety (the mental illness type) makes you believe that everyone judges you and constantly obsesses over you, when they in reality don't. It makes you think that people hate you, when all they have ever shown you is love and support. "All My Friends Hate Me" is about the narcissism and self-hatred that goes into developing that kind of mindset.
@@pelzebub6664 Lol. People being mean and inconsiderate? That never happens! It's anxious people who are the problem! They should just take it and stop imagining things! Their feelings aren't valid! Anxiety is basically insanity, I guess.
This video reminds me of the deeply disturbing experience I had my first year at college. Despite not being a fan of social media, a clip of me went viral and within the first week I was known by nearly everyone around campus. So I started playing into it and posting some clips myself. Girls were coming up to me begging me to take selfies with them, people were asking for autographs, it was absurd. I was even asked to join a frat and told they'd pay for everything for me. I was stupid enough to believe they cared about me instead of just wanting to use my fame around campus go bring girls over and attract new recruits. Then, mostly because I talked about past trauma and struggle with mental health issues, I was kicked out. But the word spread that it was simply because I made people "uncomfortable", a word which can mean a lot of things. Naturally this led to all sorts of horrible rumors spreading like wildfire, and literally everywhere I went I was getting dirty looks if not being openly harassed. Eventually I made some strategic social media posts and my reputation mostly recovered, but that experience was so horrific that I very nearly ended things. My point is, that this kind of horror is genuinely terrifying, and I truly relate to most of the people in these stories. Great video.
What sucks is when you tried to open up they shut you down. It sucks that it's so hard to open up and when you do your shut down for it. I've had bad experiences because I opened up before and now I find myself keeping my emotions bottled up.
@@TheLordofMetroids Absolutely feel this. I get shut down by family members a lot too so I completely get that. I feel they're hand in hand with each other. Sorry to hear it too :/
I feel like social anxiety horror is what alot of awkwardness/discomfort-based comedy becomes to me. Which adds up with the idea that horror is just comedy without a punchline lol
I cannot describe how deeply this video hits after getting into a new job and being forced to exist alongside people I not only have nothing in common with, but also actively despise. Watching this is actually quite effective in exploring what exactly I suffer with on a daily basis: my inability, and hefty unwillingness, to conform to the society around me. Yup, this one is definitely going in my Favorites.
Remember that you can at least make it easier on yourself by trying to find some form of common ground. I have friends and have befriended co-workers who pretty much had nothing in common with me interest-wise, but understood what being a woman or a weirdo or Asexual or a chef or disabled was like and that little similarity was enough to build a foundation. I had nice conversations with people about life and even if we didn't have the same interests, learning about each other's faves was fun seeing them be happy and sometimes even lead to me or them discovering something new and expanding our horizons.
The "compliance" storyline and real life examples, as a high school girl looking for her first job, let's just say I have a new greatest fear unlocked😭
@@koy5902 You should probably provide some examples considering the jobs that are willing to hire teenage help that are not retail or food service ... Basically do not exist.
This felt like forced exposure therapy to everything I struggle with instead of a video essay on a random niche subject before bed. Ty for the eventual nightmares and new topics to speak with my therapist about. I'm looking forward to your next video. This one was pretty good.
Underrated that you give warning for animal harm!! I don't mind that content with warning/a second to brace, not enough people do that, thank you ♡♡♡♡♡
There’s a concept for people who are neurodivergent called “masking” where someone will try to bury their neurodivergent tendencies in order to be perceived as more normal. As someone who is neurodivergent, the fear that makes me resonate with this video is the fear that the way I fundamentally think of how I interpret things is wrong. And that leads to a lot of social anxiety and causes a sort of self-gaslighting where you feel so deeply you are right about something, but are afraid you will never be able to explain that to other people.
Same here 😔 I barely socialise anymore because of how i think other people will react, and it's made making friends a challenge, and being neurodivergent just fuels the already existing dumpster fire.
@@emerald6521 Personally I feel like being neurodivergent made this video a lot easier for me. Like at this point I'm so used to making a fool of myself in front of other people I've learned to live with the embarrassment. And I couldn't be completely normal no matter what I did, so I gave up trying. Masking never worked for me. It made me miserable and made forming genuine connections with others impossible. I'm so much happier now. I know a lot of autistic people who've gone through this, so maybe it just happens with age?
That doesn't seem abnormal though, at least on a surface level. Normally, people have some quirks about them or their behavior that make them stand out in what is perceived as a negative way. And since they might not like the attention they get, they will "mask" that quirk about them. Example would be someone who laughs really loudly suddenly laughing less or trying to supress it.. Unless you are referring to something more extreme, it seems pretty normal tbh
Sorry for the "umm akchually", but this quote is commonly misinterpreted for being introvert. Satre himself clarified it that's not the case. His response - _“Hell is other people” has always been misunderstood. It has been thought that what I meant by that was that our relations with other people are always poisoned, that they are invariably hellish relations. But what I really mean is something totally different. I mean that if relations with someone else are twisted, vitiated, then that other person can only be hell. Why? Because … when we think about ourselves, when we try to know ourselves … we use the knowledge of us which other people already have. We judge ourselves with the means other people have and have given us for judging ourselves._ TL;DR - “Hell is other people because you are, in some sense, forever trapped within them, subject to their apprehension of you.”
@@hemangchauhan2864well, this video has an entire section about how "what people perceive you as is what you are", so i think the No Exit reference here is very fitting
40:55 If you want a crazier version of the Stepford Wives, you need to read this play by the same author of the original story: Ira Levin aka the guy who wrote Rosemary's Baby. It's called Veronica's Room and it's even more fucked up (gaslighting, incest, necrophilia...yeah I want to direct this but I'm gonna need people to be aware what they are walking into). Ira loves this theme of feminism torn down by the patriarchy in some way which really fascinates me. He somehow hit the pulse of what female fear was and wrote about it at the exact time second wave feminism was taking hold.
I was on meth for 3 years, and the paranoia is so unreal, even when people try their best to tell you they love you and they don’t want to hurt you or send you to jail, your brain says “why did they say it like that? Of course they’re lying, they want to hurt you, they can’t do that if you’re onto them! It’s hell.
I have never done meth, but at one point I was so stressed and depressed that I didn't believe my dogs genuinely loved me, and in hindsight I think there's a horror story hidden there.
Been there brother. At one point I thought there were FBI officers hiding in a small pond outside my apartment complex. It truly was hell. Sober now tho!
My little brother was on drugs at one point and accused me of putting water in his shampoo bottle... when he was leaving the lid open. He ruined my own shampoo and conditioner by putting water in them even after I told him he was being ridiculous because he didn't believe me.
Lol... I was on dope for A LOOOOOONG TIME. I could handle it better than anyone I knew. I know exactly what u mean tho. There was one time where I got to the point where EVERYTHING that was said was a dig at me in my own head. I kinda caught myself but it wasn't really up to me. I got clean after I list the job I had for 6 years. Random dt. It was sad and half the plant cried and corporate has a no rehire policy. Also 3 days before Xmas. If not for that tho I would still be a head. There was no way I could keep working and get off of drugs. I've been sober now for the first time since I was 13. 26 years. I can't beleive how good I actually feel. I still have ticks and a few burned guy traits but I'm never going back. God speed bubba.
@@mangohavoc6428I enjoyed seeing the shadow ppl and letting my mind run apeshit. I was really good at being a dope head. Sad that's what my expertise was tho.
You're not my therapist. However, you've provided an answer from a personal problem I've had, well, ever since I've existed. I thank you deeply. Even though this wasn't intended, it leaves me in tears
I watched the whole thing, didn't skip a single spoiler, yet you still hurt me with those deliberate spelling mistakes. That aside, 10/10: another banger
Man, that phone call story unlocked a childhood trauma of mine. I was maybe 8 or 9 when the house's landline rings and I pick up, after a few hellos nobody is answering, but I know the line isn't disconnected. I randomly decide to start blowing into the phone because I can faintly hear myself through the speaker on the other end, and childhood curiosity took over. The guy on the other end proceeds to start screaming my ear off for doing that, and I'm pretty sure he contributed to my pretty severe social anxiety growing up. I now know it was likely a telemarketer looking to get our machine or something, but experiencing that as a kid was pretty formative.
By the end of the video I couldn't stop thinking about how growing up with ADHD means constantly searching for validation in the ways you struggle with things that seem so easy for other people, all the while you're being judged for not being enough, the people around you, people you love, failing to notice struggles you barely understand yourself
I’ve been dealing with this recently. Getting to the point I’m just exhausted. Doesn’t matter if I tell people. If they know. If we’ve had intimate conversations about it. They will never really understand. And that’s such an isolating feeling.
i was diagnosed formally only a few years ago, but i've strongly known/suspected myself to have adhd much much longer. however, i did not know this of myself during my school years, not until AFTER i'd dropped out of high school, and slowly started realizing that the undiagnosed adhd was absolutely an enormous contributing factor for a multitude of reasons. i lied about doing my math homework to my parents instead of telling them i was struggling, because i was just expected to do my HW without prompting. i frequently wondered what on earth it was that i did to make so many people treat me so poorly, when i'd never done them any harm, or even really spoke to them - what about me was so wrong, so different? why couldn't i ever seem to "nail it" like everyone else? i didn't tell people how much i was struggling and hurting because no one else seemed to be, so i didn't want to be perceived as "less than", or weak, or weird, or w/e else. no one else found the smoke alarming, so obviously i must be the odd one out for choking, right?
Finding a good support group (family or friends or a lover or strangers on a forum or something) can really help you deal with this. I still feel OK at life but I have always had people cheering me on no matter what, even when I failed. It's still tough, due to everyone around me having mental illnesses, but I have been able to know it's ok not to be amazing at something or to fail and if others don't think I am good enough or they judge me, then at least I know I will always have love and acceptance. And because I have that, it helped me to come to terms with my physical and mental disabilities. I now practice body neutrality in that I don't love or hate myself but I stopped worry about who I am and all the bad stuff and I have been less stressed because I am real about it; I know I can't get better and that I am stuck but if I accept it and learn to deal with it then I cope easily and don't get as anxious.
My favorite story by Shirley Jackson has to be "Of Course". I love how it slowly and subtlety builds tension as Mrs. Harris reveals the extent of her husband's control over her and her sons' life, which is only compounded as Mrs. Taylor continues to force herself to maintain a sense of politeness and acceptance even if she also notices the horror of the situation. It just hits different when you see someone who’s situation is alarming, but you don't have evidence that there's anything illegal behind the curtain. So you're more or less stuck watching and hoping things don't become a problem in the future.
of course is so good. love that the dread isnt just in the conversation theyre having, but the other woman trying to politely let her neighbour know what to avoid bc i feel like these kinds of men always find something new no matter how careful one treads
@@kc-ze6wzExactly, you can feel the mounting dread as the story makes it clear Mr. Harris' controlling nature extends beyond his family and that these two housewifes can basically do nothing to stop him. It's so good, I love Jackson's works.
My favorite of all others has to be “The Witch” Its incredibly subversive commentary of Patriarchal Horror and it’s also one of the shortest of hers I’ve come across so far
This really makes me think how minorities might react differently in these situations, when we often are already excluded and singled out by society. I know that the majority of poc I’ve met who worked in fast food would always be wary of the police and the first thing they would do when getting a call would be to ask for the officer’s name and badge number just to put on record in case anything happens to them (the argument could be made that because half of them have had bad experiences with cops before just as most poc do). In other instances someone like me, who has autism, would be blind to the expectations that were put on me, this is from experience as I often have to be told explicitly how I’m supposed to interact with the rest of society and that I really should start to pick up on social cues. Just something I’m thinking about as I watch the video
same. i wonder how different (or not) the numbers would be with specific marginalized groups. i'm also autistic, and i've been through enough situations of feeling like the only rational person in the room that i don't THINK the smoke test would get me. but man it can be hard to tell whether being the odd one out means you're the only reasonable one, or if it means you're the only unreasonable one there i've been through a lot of little versions of this kind of horror. "all my friends hate me" in particular calls to mind the one year of middle school where i was a new student, and the friends i made at the school later admitted that they only decided to be friends with me in the first place because they pitied me. i still don't know how to feel about that one
As a person with the kind of autism that doesn't debilitate you, but also makes you emotionally out of sync with others, I feel this on a special level. Uninterested reactions, or "what"s when I say something (I have a fairly low voice) cause terror, some of which you could probably see in the way my face almost immediately changes without my control. This isn't some sob story, I'm barely on the spectrum and don't have any problem socializing so I'm grateful, but it's very personal to see those feelings on screen
I haven't been diagnosed with autism but what you described is exactlly me. I'm constantly stressed about my facial expressions. People always comment on whatever face my face is making and making assumptions about what I'm thinking because of it. People always tell me I look scared or angry even when I'm not feeling that way at all (or when I think I've done a good job of hiding those emotions, which is even worse). It's made me hyper aware of my face and my inability to control it. At some point I stopped trying to talk to my friends and family about my interests because I never know how they're going to respond to me being excited, but the fact that it's usually boredom or the response of 'calm down' makes it not even worth the risk anymore because of how awful it makes me feel. And a lot of the time people don't even hear what I say the first time because I 'mumble' without even realising it. Whenever I speak I never know if anyones even going to hear me in the first place, and having to repeat everything is so frustrating sometimes that I don't even bother trying. It's almost physically painful to talk loud.
I am on a similar boat. Though farther in the spectrum. I appreciate my ability to not go with the flow, because I am so oblivious to social cues and group mentality. It can be extremely annoying. But I’m also very grateful for it in hindsight.
I got lucky of having a dad who instilled a strong sense of "Fuck anyone who doesn't like you" growing up. I suspect that, like me, he also got autism, when I was little I would often go to him to ask why people did this or that thing and his answer would usually be "People are stupid, don't be brainwashed into trying to fit in" etc. It gave me a huge superiority complex in school, which of course isn't good, I was the "Not like other girls" and "The only thinking being in a world of sheep" kind of insufferable teenager. But thanks to that I also never tried to mask, and once the self centeredness wore off growing up it just left me with a strong liking for myself. Everyone will always find me weird for reasons they can't explain, and I know I'm cursed to make a horrible first impression for reasons beyond my understanding, but people usually warm up to me once they get to know me better, and those who don't, well, who gives a fuck what they think? I've got an aura around me that makes people recognize me as an anomaly, and I can't shake it off, it will always be like that, so might as well get confortable with being who I am, no use trying to fit in. At this point not even a full room of people telling me they hate me for being weird and offputting can make me feel shame.
After the first minute of you talking about All My Friends Hate Me I had to pause the video and go watch it. I've never seen cringe be used as a vessel for horror but by god did it make it work lol. Ultimately I still feel bad for Pete in the end. The worst thing he did to his friends before the climax was be a bit inconsiderate in not asking them about their lives and being vocal about his negative opinion towards Archie's business idea, when he was just trying to find his footing in an alienating situation at his own damn birthday party. The fact that they all thought he was self-centered at a weekend they orchestrated specifically to celebrate him was so wild lol. Meanwhile, his friends tried to drug him, coaxed him into doing drugs in order to conform, made him feel like he was going to be killed, gaslit him, made him feel ashamed when doing something they all know he's never done, isolated him with memories he doesn't have and challenged him on memories he does. Even if the old Pete would have thought all that was funny, this one clearly doesn't, and his friends were being WAY more inconsiderate than he ever was by refusing to call it quits despite obviously crossing his boundaries repeatedly. Sonia (his fiance) revealing by the end that she's just like Pete's other friends, totally comfortable with making him feel shame and anxiety over his mistakes in order to mess with him, really was the nail in the coffin. Even if Pete doesn't stay in touch with his other friends after this, the person he does still have is more of the same, putting him right back into the spiral of discomfort about the very fact that he's uncomfortable. Idk why people on Letterboxd didn't think it was right to call it a horror, that shit was agonizing lol thank you for this video and for the recommendation. I'm gonna come back to the rest of this one later after I've seen Beau is Afraid and The Curse lol
It’s cool to see him talking about All My Friends Hate Me again. He actually mentioned it in one of his my favorite things videos and I checked it out then because of it
Yeah. Like it turns out old Pete completely sucked... but so do all these people who feel like showing up several hours late is normal, all that other shit you listed and additionally bringing that one guy who is literally trying to become old Pete. Fascinating movie tbh
THANK YOU! i frankly feel like Peter is a man who's aware he was an even worse jerk in his past, who feels a fair amount of shame or anxiety about it, and has earnestly tried to better himself, even if it's maybe gone to his head a little. pride is a common character flaw, after all, but of all the things to be overly proud of, charity work is perhaps the least offensive. ultimately, he just wants to have a good time with old friends, and even when he's inconsiderate towards them, it's never out of malice, it's just ignorance, a lack of self awareness. another character flaw to be sure, but far from unfixable. he doesn't know that he's in the wrong, and maybe that's not an excuse, but if everyone keeps letting it happen over and over and over again... how is he ever SUPPOSED to know he's in the wrong?? at a certain point, maybe someone should... gee i don't know... have an adult conversation with him about it?? ugh, it's just so distressing to watch. i know pete's not real but i hope he broke up with that fiance lmao; Skippy deserves better friends
My favourite part of the Ashe line study is the fact that adding someone who agrees with the participant massively decreases the compliance rate. Some people don't mind being unpopular, they just don't want to be alone. But it doesn't reduce it to 0.
I found that one quite hard to relate to, especially when people knew the answer was wrong. If I was uncertain, I could probably be made to keep it to myself, but if I knew with certainty that everyone else was saying something clearly wrong, I don't think I could contain my incredulity.
Basically explains outcasts like me and my siblings and friends and husband and family... we all like being ourselves and sticking to our beliefs and such but we all don't want to be alone, so we all stayed true to ourselves and now we have a close and trusted circle of like-minded people. We still have issues with dealing with social anxiety and stuff, but it definitely makes it easier to deal with life knowing we are not the only ones.
Even more messed up wit h the Stip Search Phone Call scam is they caught the guy, had evidence that lined up and caught him lying, but he was later acquitted. Oddly enough the calls all stopped after his arrest and acquittal almost like there's eyes on him and he knows it.
I hope so. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure he would probably be using his skill to make scam calls nowadays. Authority impersonation is a favorite tactic in phishing...
I had a version of the smoky room experiment happen at my old apartment complex. My neighbor told me there was a fire on the low side of the building and water wasn't putting it out. I asked how long it had been there and she told me it had been shouldering under the dead foliage for THREE DAYS! Everyone including her had just been failing to put it out dropping water from above. When I went down there, it was smouldering in about a four foot wide patch right against the side of the building. Even the firefighters after putting it out looked at me like I was stupid for calling and should have just put it out on my own despite knowing the attempts made. That same neighbor stole my lord of the rings box set, and I'm still salty about it.
@zuthalron7123 unfortunately yes. Along with my original dvd of The Socerer's Stone that my late grandmother got for my 7th birthday, the widescreen edition with the dvd mini games that had you tap the bricks to enter diagon alley.
I remember when I was I kid I would always have this version of the common nightmare 'you're at school, but when you look down you realize you're completely naked' where no one else seemed to notice. Everyone interacted with me as if everything was normal, only noticing that I was acting panicked and uncomfortable. And I would spend the entire dream in terror that someone would finally realize and point it out to everyone.
For me, _I'm_ always the one who doesn't notice. After a bit, someone will point it out to me, and I'll just be like, "oh, ha ha, whoops, sorry", go to leave, and wake up feeling vaguely disappointed in myself.
this video sent me into a half hour long mild anxiety attack. i love this video. 10/10. will probably be bringing it up in therapy. thank you for undergoing what im sure was a grueling process of self-analysis to bring this video into the world, i think im slightly better for having watched it
When I moved to London from a country with substantially fewer people than London has, I had to stop taking my anti-anxiety meds because the NHS wouldn't prescribe them. I spent six months in an unending social anxiety horror movie. I couldn't speak to anyone because I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing, I got fired from the only job I managed to get after nine days because multiple customers told my boss I seemed constantly terrified, and in a place like London the only time I was ever alone was in my bedroom. So I just... stopped going outside, other than to the Tescos down the road, where I only ever used the self checkouts. I have always had a fondness for terrifying social anxiety horror because it makes me feel like I'm not the only one who can't ask for directions or order a drink or figure out how to make people like me.
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry. It’s good that you didn’t turn to something like alcohol to tamp down on your anxiety, like many people who don’t have access to medication do. Debilitating anxiety needs to be taken much more seriously as a condition that affects all aspects of your life. Thank you for sharing your story.
@@Mallowolf I probably would have, if I hadn't been too anxious to talk to a bartender or show my ID at the supermarket... There's a misconception about anxiety that you just need to not worry so much, but it can take over your entire life.
The story at the end is so deeply horrifying. It sounds like something I would hear from a true crime channel, not directly from a youtuber I enjoy. That is truly scary. On a lighter note, I do enjoy how to analyze media here and how you go about presenting their stories.
Beau is Afraid is literally one of my anxiety fears, that even when I'm alone, even when there shouldn't be anyone around, that somehow I am being watched and/or being judged. It definitely is horror to me
Which reminds me of the whole "society told me to..." type of phenomenon a lot of people try to use as an excuse for why they hurt others or do horrible or dumb things. Like how my father-in-law blamed "peer pressure" for burning down a field... yet he was the only person to do it and was alone when he did it but said "I just felt like I was being judged for not being badass enough". It lead to him getting in a lot of trouble for most of his teen years.
Beau is afraid made me cry. I have never seen a film better articulate what it's like (for me, anyway) having borderline personality disorder. A really common symptom of BPD is having this extremely weak and fluctuating sense of self, meaning a lot of sufferers end up in a very unhealthy cycle of using other people's validation as a substitute for a concrete self-image. This renders the world very frightening and stressful because your conception of yourself is completely out of your hands. Everyone you meet becomes the inscrutable arbiter of your own self-worth, whether they have consented to that or not (which further makes you feel like a monster) and they become frightening to you. Every social interaction is tinged with knife-edge tension because at any minute a change in tone, body language or facial expression can send you into a pit of depression or blast you full in the face with the skin-searing chillblast of panic. At the end, when all those fears about himself end up being confirmed and he is condemned for them, it felt weirdly affirming. I turned to my girlfriend and said "that, that's what it feels like" through tears and she said "I've always hated you and you're an objectively bad person."
A piece of media that had this effect on me, to the point where I actively refuse to ever watch it again, is surprisingly an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation called "Hollow Pursuits". It focuses on a lower-ranked guy on the starship Enterprise who's an anxious mess and not very good at his space job, and while everyone downplays his fears and worries over being inadequate to his face, behind his back they gripe and belittle him for his incompetence, even calling him names. The slow insidious creeping horror that everything you do is below par despite your best efforts and that everyone around you who has their shit together is judging you for it where you can't hear is my worst fear made manifest. It terrifies me to think of, the thought that what you do is never good enough. It may not be a traditional piece of social anxiety horror, but that one random Star Trek episode fits the bill for me personally.
huge trekkie myself, so I immediately recognized this (and yes, this is our first introduction to the character of Reg Barclay). i have a few points and this being about star trek, i'm bound to ramble, but bear with me if you can 1. totally agree with you that the majority of this episode is almost repulsive, because trek is kinda sorta about an utopian future in which humanity has grown beyond our base and petty selves, especially if you're talking about the crew of the flagship of the federation. and we've come to really care about all these characters, to trust them to be good in almost all situations and to always look out for and look after their fellow crewmen. to see them be such pos to someone who is clearly struggling was vile. the only moment this actually starts to change is when picard goes 'this is NOT the way - we don't discard our own just because they're weird or late or anxious - we freaking help them.' without this intervention from the figure with the most authority (by far), i fear that, taken to its logical conclusion, this would become something more like 'all my friends hate me' and less star trek 2. this whole episode is one of the times that the toxic culture of starfleet is most readily apparent. it's clear from many episodes that almost every crew member overworks themselves, and is expect to be nothing but excellent 110% of the time. because it's not really that kind of show, we never really explore the "dark side" of starfleet too much (at least in TNG) and these moments are used much more for comedic relief ("we need stronger coffee" or whatever) than taken seriously. but in the barclay episode, we see that not only can starfleet make you overwork and be perfect. but it also lends itself to be the perfect bullying grounds for anyone that falls short of that. (in a more realistic show, this would have surely resulted in many an unaliving). i haven't seen all of new trek, so i'm not sure if this gets addressed in another show, but it always broke my willing suspesion of disbelief a lil bit (on the other hand, TNG is my comfort show, so i'm glad it didn't get all dark and black mirror like!) 3. it should be noted that reg barclay becomes a recurring character after this episode and actually has a pretty important role in star trek voyager. i have mixed feelings about his character arc in general. on one hand, the writers try to show "improvements" on both sides - reg's colleagues become more understanding and compassionate AND reg becomes a little less socially anxious and he's late less often. i get what the writers were going for and i fully believe they wanted this to be a great, happy ending for reg. but it always annoyed me that, at the end of the day, he often seems more tolerated than actually accepted and that, were it not for his great intelligence, even that might not have happened. there's also the "both sides"ism aspect of the whole arc that is a bit icky to me. however, reg is portrayed as someone who finds happiness and great meaning in his job and has a few good relationships in his life...
@@b4rbarbar Realm Of Fear with Reg is one of my favorite episodes of the show precisely because instead of being a bunch of gossiping assholes the main cast actually try to help this guy work through his issues in a healthy and supportive manner. Spot-on analysis though, enjoyed reading.
The Black Mirror episode “Shut up and Dance” is a great example of this kind of social terror, it’s so painful to watch - but the ending takes it to a whole other level of horror. If you like this kind of thing, it’s a must watch.
Fantastic episode, definitely agree on the ending - huge "oh fuck" moment. Hated in the Nation is also probably adjacent to the topic (social media specific) but is a weaker episode generally.
That episode is what got me really into Radiohead a couple years back, as well as the first Black Mirror episode I ever watched. It was wild and I loved it and I still think about it a lot 🫡🫡🫡
Shout-out to all the socially anxious horror fans that want to watch this personal attack, but are currently at work Edit: Just finished watching the video, and this genuinely made me have at least three existencial crises. These are some fire recommendations. Also I'll be sending you my psychiatrist's check soon, Mr. Eyepatch Wolf.
Somehow my anxiety inoculates me from the thing that stops people from getting up during a fire alarm. The alarm went off once when I was in a movie theater and I was up out of my seat, down the stairs, at the door and when I turned to make sure my friends were with me no one else in the entire theater had moved. I felt like a crazy person who was over reacting, but I would rather over react than die in a fire. That same thing has happened to me multiple times with fire drills, tornado warnings, and active shooter lockdowns (I'm American). It is almost always a false alarm, and I usually do feel a bit silly and embarrassed, but not enough that I don't still follow the protocols. I'm convinced that the one time it's real I will be glad I've trained myself to automatically follow safety protocol and know exactly what to do without hesitating
As someone with social anxiety myself, I find it incredibly brave that you show our face on the internet and tell such personal stories. Great vid as always! 💙
That story you told at the end of the video made me feel so fucking hollow, and I never understood why. There's been a debate about a recent Dr Who episode, '73 Yards', and I never understood why it scared me so much. It scared me the exact same way your story did. This video helped it make sense. Thank you
I had a weird unsettled feeling for the whole episode and I couldn't really put my finger on exactly what scared me. I figured it was something to do with fear of the unknown - not knowing who the woman is, or what she said to make everyone leave Ruby forever, or why she's always exactly 73 yards away. The camera helps a lot by only ever showing her the way Ruby would've seen her: as a distant figure, unable to clearly see the close-up detail, and unable to hear her. While a different style of horror, I felt there were some similarities with Midnight. One could argue that the way fear, paranoia and hate can escalate in a group of pretty average people is more terrifying than the alien itself.
I sure am happy that my particular neurodivergence results in such stark social obliviousness that people literally have to tell me to my face they don't like me for me to notice! I mean, to be fair, there is _nothing_ quite so terrifying as someone you are quite sure you've never seen before walking up to you with a smile, calling you by your name and acting like you're supposed to be friends, but that is much less common.
Unfortunately, at this point, I just perceive everyone, wether they tell me or not, to not like me: maybe not all the time, but definitely some of the time... Hate my flavour of autism...
I know a guy with face blindness who regularly performs on stage and when people come up to him he never knows if they are strangers or not. He's a very extroverted social person. I like to image it's because in his world, strangers act like friends all the time.
I was so worried for a moment when you mentioned Milgrim Electric Shock test and Stanford Prison Experiment. I still hear people today quote them as if they had any kind of validity.
I mean, Milgram was kind of right. Actually, he was almost entirely right, and the line and fire experiments prove it. There were only two problems with his experiment, but they were enough to sink it despite the whole "being almost entirely right" thing. The first was that he specifically made it about whether or not someone would agree to what they thought was murder based on nothing at all but an authority figure, and the second was that he had the genius idea to tamper with the results. So in the end the idea he was espousing was overall correct, but the way he went about trying to prove it was wrong. It's like the "you did the math wrong but got the right answer" scenario, except he also cheated in addition to doing the math wrong.
I think that was the scariest thing of all to me. Not just the betrayal, but the sense of violation of people who you don't know and who might want to harm you having access to the place you should feel most safe
Something I adore about your channel is just how obvious it is that you love everything that you talk about. I feel like the media criticism culture on RUclips, though definitely important, is becoming so over saturated and black and white that sometimes it can be hard to remember that genuinely great media is still being made every day
As a trans person, this really resonates with me. I am unable to medically transition yet and my dysphoria is a huge part of my social anxiety and really adds to that fear of being perceived. It’s nice to have a way to verbalize and explain it through this. This is my favorite video essay on RUclips
ive been trying to get my life together for a while now. i dont have a job, i dont have any hobbies, i dont have any friends irl, and most of my days are spent in my bedroom playing games and occasionally checking a job search website. the segment about Cursed really spoke to me because of this. im even more isolated than Ash. i barely speak to the people i live with. if i dont start trying to live life properly, im going to die with nobody to remember me. this video was a wake up call for me. thank you
you've got this! if you take one step at a time, before you know it, it will become easier to actually live and socialise. i've been there, i socially isolated myself for years, stayed inside my room, watching youtube videos, playing video games and smoking my life away. for me the weed made it so much worse because i'm generally quite extroverted. in fact before the weed, i was VERY extroverted, i truly gained energy from talking to others, i was confident, charismatic and generally liked. but after the years hidden in my room, where i got so bad that i couldn't stand the thought of being perceived and having to engage in regular conversation with near anybody and talking to others no longer gave me energy but drained me terribly, i became somebody else, somebody i did not recognise, and it took a long time to get to some kind of normal. even then, i am now a different person. the social anxiety is always there sitting in the background. the main difference is now i just deal with it, i force myself to speak in the usual conversations most would find awkward, whereas i used to avoid them completely if i could, i even speak to complete strangers if i see they are trying to connect (got so much more of this when i got dogs lol, everyone wants to chat to the dog owner and comment on the dog XD even more so in my area as there is a dog owner every second house haha) i call friends and family more now just to have regular conversation. i basically had to retrain myself on how to hold a conversation again without curling in on myself mentally, and thinking all the worst, paranoid thoughts like 'they dont find you funny, apologise.' 'you did that wrong, apologise' 'you're acting weird, apologise'. i had to relearn social cues and actually realised i think i have always kind of sucked at them, me - 'the girl who always thought guys were flirting with her because they smiled or looked at me for one second two long' or said 'hey' CRINGE lol. i had to relearn not to care what other people thought, to speak my mind even if nobody else agrees, i had to be okay with cringing at myself and letting that go.... letting the fear and anxiety that i was not the perfect person that i wanted to be go.... as i mentioned earlier, this is still something that i struggle with but it has gotten so much easier now that i've accepted that i am partly to blame, i might be predisposed to mental health conditions or maybe i just sent myself looney in isolation (there's a reason isolation for long periods of time is considered cruel and unusual), but when i say i am partly to blame i mean that, for me, at first i loved being locked up in my room, being able to do what i wanted when i wanted, until i no longer wanted that and realised that it was not so easy to drift back in to normal life like nothing had happened, like i hadnt spent years forgetting what that normal life entailed. like i hadnt spent years ignoring people, painting a picture of who i was choosing to be, gluing myself to a chair or a bed where i basically rot away muscle mass and turned into a fat, weak, semi-disabled mess. weak because i was barely moving, not wanting to make a sound besides the sound of keyboard clacking and position changes on the bed which shifted the house and reminded the people i lived with that indeed there was still a live person upstairs, one who only came down when she believed nobody was home or awake, only to prepare some food or grab some toilet paper before retreating back to the pigsty i called my room. the person who dreaded having to tell people how my day went because my day was barely a day, i hadn't even seen sunlight, my blind was drawn and window closed, in fact i hadn't left the house in a month. so instead of admitting i was a loser, it was easier to not answer phone calls or messages for weeks or even longer. it was easier to keep doing what i 'wanted' to. no, it was easier living in my fantasy world, where i could indulge in media that gave me that temporary dopamine rush, where i could pretend and imagine. it took me years to mostly recognise what i had done, to actually acknowledge it. tbh, i'm still figuring out who i have become but i will continue to work on it. and i guess the point of all i'm saying is that, if you want to work on yourself, you have to start now. you don't want to have to do all the work that i have done, after realising and accepting, i'm a fucking mess or maybe you are already at that point in your life, and if that's the case, shall you continue until you are less than a husk of yourself?? starting small with maybe just asking a roommate how their day was, what they're eating, movie suggestion etc. it might feel super awkward at first but just keep doing it. go out for a walk, say hello to a stranger in line at the grocery or petrol station, exercise (could be a 5 min walk at first, try and increase the time and get sunlight at least 30 mins a day as vitamin d deficiency can lead to depression amongst other things) volunteer, walk a family members dog, do you have any elder family members? offer them help of some sort. plan a board game night with roommate or family member, movie night with roommate. do you like card games? you could join a card game tournament of your liking, could try dnd. bbq with roommates. there's countless things you could do but you have to start breaking down those walls that are keeping you inside, if it's depression then please if it's available to you get help through therapy or medication. the grass IS greener on the other side. somethings might seem boring and not worth your while but please remember you've wired yourself to expect instant gratification ie. dopamine receptors are out of whack, from playing video games and if you do, watching videos, tik tok etc (just assuming about the vids but that was def the case with me) life isn't always going to get results if you put in the work like a video game, life is boring sometimes, work sucks, people aren't the greatest but neither are we. it's all worth it in the end. good luck
@@twiggychicky9549dude that was awesome. It hit me so hard. I’m there right now. I can’t go outside, I’m isolating myself, I’m alone. I know I can be good in most social situations but I can never get past the boundary of actually making a friend. I just keep thinking “what’s the point, we’ll just talk for a bit then I’ll never see them again.” I just keep thinking that I’m better off alone Now that I think about it. While John’s video was really awesome, I don’t have the precise type of social anxiety that most people have. I’m fine talking to strangers, I’ll never see them again, I’m great at talking to coworkers because it’s professional and the expectations are well set, I love doing presentations in front of groups of people. I just suck at making any type of deeper connection. I don’t get invited places, I’m the guy everyone forgets about when he’s not in the room. I could disappear and nothing would change. I’m just a placeholder. I could be dying and I’d prefer not to have a funeral so that no one has to be sad, most people would be better off just not remembering I exist. I’m at the point where I feel like there isn’t a point. People like me well enough, but I’m nobody’s favourite person. I doubt I’d make anyone’s top 5. I’m not narcissistic enough to think this is anyone’s fault except my own. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough, maybe I’m not likeable enough, maybe I’m just…
Hearing you bring up “The Lottery” is pretty funny because I’ve had it taught to me twice, once in middle school and once in high school, so I imagine it has to be pretty common in American schools and that a lot of people here have probably already heard of it. Didn’t know about her other stuff though.
I studied it at high school here in Aus, too. Taught it TERRIBLY, though. I was left thinking it was a cynical assertion that people suck and will do cruel things to others for no reason, so I hated it at the time. This video really made me appreciate that there was a reason, one very grounded in reality despite the premise.
Nothing worse than being an outcast and finding a group of fellow outcasts who all bond over things you relate to and making a space for people like you to exist. And then they cast you out. Because you were too them for them.
The segment at 33:45 makes me think that this is how mass hysteria starts. One person does something weird, others join in bc it looks fun, then others completely outside the group join in bc they think that since everyone is doing the weird thing, therefore it's normal, and then it escalates from there.
I remember watching one of those prank videos one day where they hired actors to sit in places like restaurants and when someone walked in after a while the actors stopped everything they were doing and just... stared at the victim. No jumpscares, no monster masks, no flickering lights, just a bunch of strangers staring at you in silence. It feels like Sartre scripted that.
I legit walked to my car after seeing Beau is Afraid and cried because I don't think I'd ever felt more understood by a film. This movie is something special to me. I'm just glad it existed. Who knows if I'll ever see it again though.
Hello friends. Been a minute. Sorry about that.
Just want to thank everyone for the patience and support, this was a weirdly complicated video to put together, especially with life shit firing off during the production. I dont really know how i feel about the video now, but I do know it’s time to move on and make other stuff.
As ever thanks to everyone who supports the channel and keeps it going, and if you would like to be one of them, you can find my patreon here: www.patreon.com/Supereyepatchwolf
And my merch here (I promise my merch is good): eyepatchwolves.com/en-eur/
That’s all. You have my word the next video will be out way sooner than this one. Stay safe out there guys.
That’s ok! I’ll wait!
Thank you for remembering your password.
We always appreciate you Supereyepatchwolf! Take you time and rest when you have to.
Love your content! Thanks For this ❤❤❤
Take all the time you need, your vids are always top quality
"British people die in fire because they didn't want to leave without paying the bill" reads like a Monty Python sketch
@@ryansch682 I did some reading about the 1979 Manchester Woolworths fire after this video (being very specific because apparently restaurants in Britain just catch fire all the time!) and it looks like the real story is a lot less stupid, or at least stupid for different, sadder reasons. There were about 500 people in the 6-storey building when the fire started. It caught a bunch of furniture which was made of polyurethane foam, which is very flammable, and spreads flames as it melts, and quickly produces a lot of toxic, thick, black smoke. Investigators believe the smoke hid the emergency exit signs in the restaurant. Also *the restaurant windows were covered with iron bars.* Of those who survived, 47 had to be hospitalized. It's not that people didn't try to escape; it's that they were hindered by anti theft measures, and poisoned and blinded by cheap furniture.
"And now for something completely different"
That shit would hilarious if it wasn't true
@roecocoa an even more English thing to say. And real sad.
Hello I am dead parrot is this refund? Hello I am shop man and you are not dead parrot. OK shop man I will go home. Ceased to eggsit
"Jackson was born in 1916 and in time would stop being a baby." This is the kind of powerful writing that makes this channel so beloved
Few people know it, but she was also born at a very young age.
@@Karanthaneoscouldn’t be me 😂
Same energy as, "many years ago, I was me."
it caught me so offguard LOL
Such a powerful line and you know what I think everyone alive today who can read this comment can relate to it
"Ah, Perry the Platypus, you're trapped... by societal convention! Look, we're in a fine dining enviornment, everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant! That's right, you're trapped, sit down."
God, there is a Doofenschmirtz quote for literally any situation 🤣
Is that from an actual episode? Because it sounds like it could be lol
@@level3xfactor yep
@@level3xfactor I think so, I'm not sure tho.
Thank you for this amazing Doofenschmirtz refference!
"one of the cruelest things you can do to a person is take away their perception of themself" I felt it to my core
Wouldn't it be taken away by itself when someone really deeply thinks about who and why they are and what others really think about them !
Is it only me! I thought everyone had a period of identity crisis in their 20s
@@sasanr1 Most people have it at their 40s (that's why middle-life crisis is such a well known phrase)
@@arturoaguilar6002 LOL i guess i had my crisis too early at late 20's . Was 3 years of living hell but the breakthrough worth it
Now I'm 35 i wonder if i will go through another radical change at 40 again or not
@@arturoaguilar6002what does it mean when you're in a perpetual state of existential crises? A 29 year long existential crisis, if you will?
Edit: nvm, I think that's just called ✨Neuroticism✨
This just makes me think of my disabilities (mentally and physically) and also my eating disorder and such and how people have weird versions of my own memories (the ones that stuck with me despite my many seizures and memory loss) and how I reacted and such. And then watching myself change and experiencing things differently and then having people tell me I look or seem different than I thought. it sucks...
I think the most fucked, meta-horror element of "All my friends hate me" is that the main character is actually a bit of a douche. The horror goes from "Oh god, I hope my friends don't hate me like they hate the main character" to "Oh wait, the main character is kind of a douche" to "Oh god am I a douche and everyone is just putting up with me but secretly hates me?!"
From what it described here, the MC clearly meant to be a narcissist. A realistic depiction at that. He is a douche that can't be bothered to ask about his friend's life since they last met while 'begging' to be heard about his life. He was a 'douche' to others, but can't handle a douche to him. The climax reveal his true character that when he was wrong, he chose to argue rather than admitting it. Depend on who you are talking to for opinion, honestly, can't blame him and that's the question of right and wrong in this movie.
@@protvgamingalbert1510 Movie: "Hey, main character; you are suffering from main character syndrome"
@@arturoaguilar6002 heh, that's a funny irony
@@protvgamingalbert1510 internet users gotta stop using the word narcissist
YEP YEP YEP, im sat here wondering. am i the asshole..? am i like my narcissistic mother. and same with speak no evil. the guy saying its their fault. scares the crap out of me. and just these movies made a spiral and than i realize. wait no... i have free will. i always worry about others, i always try and put the people i love first but it comes back with me getting upset at them wondering "why dont they give smth back" its smth im still working and processing on but my god DOES THIS VIDEO JUST THROW ME AS FAR INTO THAT PIT. its scary..
your personal story at the end was genuinely so haunting that I kept expecting you to say "that wasn't real, i just made it up for the video" LOL
Yyeeaaahhh after the robot story my trust is forever broken
the fact that at the end he says that "he knows it seems small compared to the other things but...", i was like no!! yours sounds the most horrifying because there is no real answer to why this happened!
i was thinking the same thing! i was waiting for the reveal and horrified when it didn’t come
Wich is the robot story?@@captaincrazycreative
@@frankiesayspanic I think the reveal is that it turned out to be one of his friends, presumably someone who would invite him to his wedding. Kind of helps lessen the nightmare.
can't believe the most horrifying thing I've heard in a minute was John reading a list of restaurants
I'm actually begging him to stop and he's still naming them
@@sludgepls your pfp works so well for this comment
My jaw dropped. I'm so disgusted it happened that many times with that many people.
It's that terrifying realization that some people are truly evil.
There's no logic, no reason here. Nothing they have to gain outside of fulfilling their perverted desire.
To me, it goes against the model of society I carefully constructed to be able to have any semblance of social life.
@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 it's not really about evil. it's more about social pressure, how being told by a convincing authority figure to do something and being told it's "all part of the plan" will make people comply with the worst things.
As a man with paranoid schizophrenia, I have the following to say to you:
It's okay. You're fine. People like you. They wouldn't waste their time if they didn't. You don't have to worry. I know I'm just a stranger, but in a way, we're all strangers. No one can truly know someone else, not totally. But we all experience humanity, and it really is going to be okay. We beat these demons one day at a time, by trusting people we care about and doing things we love. Hang in there.
That’s a beautiful message to share with any stranger on the internet to read, especially with adding your diagnosis to give more meaning to your words. I have ADHD, Autism and BPD (which is also now called EUPD or EIPD, whatever name is used to describe it, my issues with intense anxiety and paranoia are one of the symptoms and I can find myself not living in the same reality as other people because it feels real to me when I’m spiralling) Lovely, reassuring comments like yours make me feel a bit better about my interpersonal issues, lack of social skills etc. because it’s a little bit of reassurance that you aren’t the only one who has ever felt that way, but if we can be kind like you were in your comment, to ourselves and others, things get a little easier to deal with for maybe even a moment. Just a reminder that things can and will be ok can mean so much , even if you can’t feel it then it still helps to read it, even if at that point you can’t believe it, it’s so kind of you to leave a comment like this as a reminder just to be kind to strangers like me reading this. 😅Thank you and I hope you have a good day 😸
"imagine you're sitting alone in a room full of strangers"
The scariest horror is realistic horror
*watches on a train* ah fuck
So real
how can you be alone in a room full of people though?
I haven’t seen you in a comments section in ages
@@chasebliss5045 when you dont feel like you're a person
Speak No Evil is an immaculate breakdown of abuser behavior. Slowly, carefully encroaching on your boundaries, slowly escalating to abuse you can't recognize because your boundaries have become mush. And all the while they make room for you to feel you let it happen. Making you feel that you allowed the abuse, or even that you deserved it. Instead of seeing yourself as a kind person being socially accommodating or a loving partner trying to compromise and empathize.
Truly. And it makes my blood boil when he answers "why are you doing this?" with "because you let me". He's deflecting all blame off himself and onto his victims. The message to take away is not that the protagonists were at fault. It's the villain's fault. I haven't seen the movie myself, so I won't pretend I understand it fully, but from this breakdown, I expect the movie is much more of a warning against abusive behavior to look out for and to get away from, as opposed to victim-blaming someone for "letting someone abuse them".
@@sindrevangenrobberstad2889 I mean it can be both, especially because what the video kind of summarizes that because we are social creatures we are vulnerable to these types of abusive behavior; it's their fear of offending the guy that allows the guy to take advantage of that and weaponize it against them.
I had a really toxic relationship that started with the same flattering praise that was described here, that the moment it happened I was immediately suspicious. I don't want to say having that relationship was a good thing, because it left me with a lot of trust issues, but that suspicion of blind praise has saved my bacon a few times over the years.
I just thought when listening to the breakdown was "hey, what if that manic pixie dream boy in all those romantic movies, the one who makes everyone feel alive, is actually a psychopath?"
My ex told me that she was reading a lot of woman's magazines. She started doing this. That's why she's my ex.
For anyone wondering, the guy who was doing the abuse phone scams is named David R. Stewart. He was prosecuted but the prosecution shit the bed and he was acquitted. They found the phone cards he used to make these scam calls as well as the police uniforms that he wore to buy the phone cards. The scam calls stopped after he was arrested.
this confuses me even more, so was it an example of a random phone call thing that happened?
oh nevermind sorry by "phone call thing" I thought you meant the story he tells at the end lmao not the phone call strip search thing
@@Malthael2797 I almost made this mistake as well. as funny as it is to say considering the video. You are not alone.
what a fucking monster.
@@cordeliaspecific Extremely disgusting. He'll pay for it sooner or later.
@@Malthael2797 I thought the same thing until the mention of impersonating a police officer.
“That probably doesn’t sound like much after everything we’ve talked about.” My brother in Christ, if that happened to me, I would be driven to mind-shattering madness.
Yeah I definitely wouldn't be very willing to forgive them, as he apparently has.
id have gone to the police after the first week that stalking shit is no joke
i would never touch a phone again tbfh and im not exaggerating
This video reminded me of a story told to me by my mother, and I think it fits the mood perfectly. This happened to her decades ago, on the eve of her 18th birthday, all of a sudden, a full week before the day itself, her friends start to act weird around her. They begin to avoid her, they constantly ask her if she's got plans for specific days, they visibly exclude her from conversations and street get-togethers. Everyone does this, including the one who would become my father. She has no idea what's going on, she thinks she might have wronged them in some way, but does not ask, because she has no one to turn to for explanations, it's all subtle behaviour, even her childhood closest girlfriends. This goes on until her birthday, where, from her perspective, no one gave a shit about her the entire day, no one wished her happy birthday and no one gave her a gift. Defeated and beyond pissed at this point she goes back home in the evening, where everyone is there, wishing her a happy 18th, with a surprise birthday party. I don't think the english language can adequately convey the scenario she described to me, but let's just say that she told them off. Since everyone there is a southern italian the humor flows, jokes are cracked and everyone (presumably, she does not remember much from the party itself) has a good time. They even gave her a cute ring. To this day she still remembers the hushed tones and skittish looks, not the cool party, and to this day she gets irrationally angry when she catches you hiding secrets from her, even banale shit. They are all still very chill, but what a number they pulled.
Excluded, but at the center of attention, ignored, but also having your every move scrutinized and questioned. I don't know if the party was worth it lads.
Came across this comment at random. What a fucked up thing to have happen to your mum on her 18th birthday. She was right to be incandescent with rage.
this is a good reason to not do suprise parties. I feel so sorry for your mother.
After watching this video and reading this comment, I feel like this contextualizes why the surprise party scenerios make me so angry. I remember being a kid and whenever there were cartoon episodes where a character gets ignored by those around them all day and later it turns out to be a surprise party, I would hate those episodes with every fiber of my being. I think its because of how unecessarily malicious the ignoring and isolating would feel to the point where I'm like "How are you this stupid to not realize how upset this is making them feel?" The whiplash of the character being happy and grateful for the surprise anyway made it worse too, as if they weren't treated like trash the rest of the episode. It's like if they couldn't feel angry about it as well because then THEY'D look like the jerk. Guess all I can say directly is thank you for helping me find an explanation to something that made me irrationally angry as a kid
I hate surprises. They rob me of all the joy of the anticipation. I had a girlfriend who lived 70 miles away and did surprise visits. Not my thing. I have to point out to her everytime that she's not allowed to judge me if everything isn't perfectly clean to her liking, which is something she found impossible to avoid.
I knew a mentally ill person whose mom did surprise visits when they clearly made him a nervous wreck. Once asked her why she did them. She told of one story when she was a little girl where someone did it to her and she loved it. Treating people the way you want to be treated isn't always the way, but to treat them the way they want to be treated is usually the answer when considering how to love a person.
Yeah caused a deep rooted negative core memory for her, that also gave her basically a mini trauma about people wanting to keep a secret from her...to say that a surprise party wasnt worth all that, is probably an understatement. They could have thrown that party without treating her like an outcast for days at the very least.
I think what's so disturbing about the stepford wives in particular is that, for a period of time, women and girls with mental health issues and/or mood disorders were routinely lobotomized against their will if their husbands or fathers wanted it.
what the fuck
And often died.
Prior to the popularization of lobotomy, they were often forcibly confined to a sanitarium, after being "diagnosed" with "hysteria" or "neurasthenia" or other nonsense "disorders" which were applied exclusively or primarily to women. While there, they were commonly subjected to "treatments" which amounted to little more than extended torture sessions. The mildest was the "rest cure", which involved forcibly confining a victim to bed for anywhere from days to months without any activity at all, not even being allowed to read. The severity of the "treatments" inflicted on them escalated from there, and were all-to-often fatal.
Electroconvulsive therapy was even more popular than lobotomy, at around the same time. While not as brutal, it could still have a profoundly damaging effect when used frequently over an extended period of time, causing long-term cognitive impairment. It was a particularly popular "treatment" for homosexuality, and a lot of lesbians were forced into ECT. (It's still used today to treat certain severe mental disorders, but in a much milder form with far better protocols.)
@@EphemeralTao I found out about this because of the Yellow Wallpaper, a really good short story first published in 1892 about a woman slowly going insane from being prescribed a 'rest cure' where the only thing she could do after being locked in the attic was stare at the yellow wallpaper. Charlotte Gilman wrote it after going through the same thing
OK, I get that the past was the worst, but even back then I'm shocked that that was legal. Like it seems like something that would've been messed up even by the standards of the day.
While watching your segment on the experiments on social conformity, my first thought was, "I wouldn't be so cowardly. I'd stick to my guns." But then I started thinking about the times when I should've spoken up, but didn't, because I was afraid of getting hurt, or merely afraid of making a scene. None of us are immune to social pressure.
But then I thought further about the times I DID speak up, about the times I physically intervened when people were being harassed or assaulted. Conforming to social pressure is real, but it's not inevitable. We can all stand up for what's right at least some of the time, and that isn't nothing. So take heart y'all. You don't need to be brave every time. You just need to be brave once.
Even if I wasn't worried about not conforming or not going with the group per se, I think I'd still worry that I'd missed a vital memo or didn't understand something important about the situation in which I found myself.
But, when I witness injustice or abuse, that's cut-and-dry, and I have historically intervened in some way in those cases.
I have been the one person in the classroom fighting w the professor enough times to know what I'd do. I am way too salty when people act unfairly to me.
That is such a lovely and inspiring take on such an intrinsically scary video. Love your outlook man.
I really needed this uplifting message after watching the All My Friends Hate Me part
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
I think a big part of this is being aware of the downfalls. I've watched conformity, I learned about the Milgram and Stanford experiments - and even though the science there is questionable at best, it's still a valuable lesson to be aware of this. Plus, in my case at least, the older I get, the less fucks I give, and I think that's true for a lot of people. That's why abusive & controlling men usually try to go for much younger women: easier to control.
To a certain point, conformity also has it's upsides though. Like, people might behave better if they feel judged than when they are alone in a room. But knowing about the human tendency to conform and knowing what the bystander effect is, does help to avoid this in the future.
The best lesson my grandfather ever taught me was:
"no matter what happens, as long as you're certain you're right. Keep walking forward even if everyone you see walks in the opposite direction."
The worst thing that can happen is that it turns out that you were wrong, but that's ok, everyone makes mistakes.
My mother said something similar to this. She was educating us on things like sexism and preventing abuse/SA (she was a victim) and such from a very early age. She knew my sisters and I would only act out when something was bad/wrong. Examples: I got suspended for kicking a boy in the crotch... despite the fact that I was passed out from a seizure and woke up to him lifting my shirt and touching me. Or how my sister pushed a kid down after he called her Pilsbury Doughboy and poked her in the boobs and body over and over all day long. Or when my sisters and I did "Day of Silence" for the Gay/Straight Alliance and some substitute tried to mark us absent and kick us out of the class for being silent and then began saying prejudice things about LGBTQ+ kids, calling them the F-word and such just to rile us up and make us talk and then laugh at what failures we are.
"why are you doing this?"
"because you have let me."
still brings me to tears. i will never recover from this cruel and terrifying movie.
Reminds me of the Strangers when they're asked why and the one chick answers "because you were home."
@@lainiwakura1776 I love this comparison because it implies a really weird similarity. That line in Speak No Evil functions as a sort of moral judgement against meekness (one that's a little too smug and on-the-nose for my tastes, but whatever), so maybe it's the same for the line from The Strangers. That's the problem with society. People just spend too much time at home. Go out once in a while. Live a little. Don't be like the couple from The Strangers, who clearly sealed their own fate.
He skipped some of the more gruelling details of that movie. The other couple kidnaps their kid and cuts off her tongue, as they had with the other child that was "theirs". The film ends with the demented couple basically getting away scot free after killing them, mutilating their child, and keeping her.
My first viewing shook me to my core. I will not be seeing the remake.
I really love watching this kind of horror, but I HATED watching this movie.
I recognised myself in it so much it hurts.
I will never watch it again.
Never before has a RUclips video title made me shout "This is my hole! It was made for me!"
I hate that I get that reference.
...and that's why I am reluctant to walk in. Or be within like 3 miles of that hole. But this is SEW, so I know it will be quality. Wish me luck?
What you just wrote:
That’s illegal.
I'm all fucked up and squiggled now 10/10 would hole again
@@mayorjimmy ...why would you hate that you get that reference? junji ito is one of the most popular and beloved horror mangakas of all time.
"All My Friends Hate Me". That's a thought that passes through my brain more than I'd want it to. Social Anxiety is an endeavor.
Your friends do not hate you. They do, however, hate what you think about yourself.
@@PhoenixFireZero They hate that I have a very low opinion of myself?
@@PhoenixFireZero They 100% hate me, just ask them
@@claytonrios1 Yes
@@iamthemelon5683I have to work on that. I'm glad I have some affirmation to believe that I'm okay.
I've never really been a movie guy but the premise of speak no evil seemed so interesting that i paused the video, watched the whole thing and came back. This made me realize how amazing movies can be. The suspense, the hints, the tension, the constant feeling that something is off, honestly i could go on forever. This was one of the best if not the best movie I've ever seen and now I'm more interested in movies than I'd ever thought i would be. Patrick's final quote just hit me so hard that i had to sit and stare at my laptop for minutes as the credits rolled. Honestly John this might be the best thing I've found from your channel. Thank you for talking about this movie.
Its always a treat to hear about someone discovering something they love about any kind of media
All My Friends Hate Me hits too hard, because I'm always second guessing whether people actually do like me or are just being polite. And I cannot relax. The moment I do, something goes wrong.
It's why I love having friends who are a bit jerky sometimes. Like, I know these people are not super polite, so I know that if I'm being annoying or mean or whatever, they will just tell me: "hey, please stop doing that, you're being very annoying". I can't tell you how relaxing that is, having lived in a country where the culture is people being polite always, only to later hear they were pissed off about everything. The country is Belgium btw, I never want to live there again. The politest people ever, but the constant anxiety broke my mind.
Man, The Lottery is one of those stories from middle school that just sticks with you forever. As soon as you're reminded of it, it all comes flooding back.
Oh my god, I loved that story! It was such a whiplash to read something like that so young. The “movie” made for it only solidified how much it stuck with me, personally (its a really short movie, I just cant think of a word for it rn)
I heard "lottery" and I immediately felt deep fear
Okay that's CRAZY, I've thought about it for the first time in 4 years just yesterday or the day before, and now it's in a Super Eyepatch Wolf video. Absolutely crazy.
@@Skiddull No coincidences!
Nah, mine was the Giver.
To quote a Ralph Wiggum meme: "Me thinking of all the problems I could have avoided if I'd just been an asshole."
@@TheMightyPika for the most part, people should be as nice as possible for the good of humanity and basic human decency. But you should stand up for yourself when you know something isn’t right, regardless if it hurts anyone’s feelings because there’s lines you shouldn’t cross morally.
Or in my case, if I was just a "normal" woman by society's standards. The hell I get for being a woman without kids (and who had a hysterectomy for medical reasons but still never wanted kids especially due to passing on my disabilities) and is now "useless" according to some people because I can't reproduce and then couple all that with being Asexual and both mentally and physically disabled and it just sucks... I feel like an alien in comparison to people. It's why the handful of friends I have are as messed up as me, because we all feel similar but are always wishing we could have just been normal so we'd have it easier in life.
@@Gadget-Walkmen The mantra I live my life by is "Do no harm, take no shit" and its worked pretty well.
@@NoOneReallySpecial I'm a woman in my 30s with no kids and not interested in relationships, and generally people treat me normally and fine. I do live in North America though, and I'm fortunately socially adept enough at shutting down criticism in a friendly way before it starts. If you view yourself as an "abnormal alien," then other people will treat you that way, but if you're confident and comfortable about it it often makes people question their own view.
Social anxiety's a weird one. Nobody thinks about you more than you think about yourself. We sit there and torture ourselves twice. it's wild.
Specially when ur thought process builded by ur parents is to constantly search for problems and errors in yourself and have fear of doing something wrong and being punished
Mix it with a society that has tendency to make fun of everything in other people and on other hand a culture that shoots for idealism ...
Recipe for depression added some drama .voila your delicious suicide is ready to serve
We are our own worst enemies.
As someone who was bullied his entire childhood in school, all of this is relatable in a bothering manner. The fear of being constantly judged for what ever you do, of being a social outcast, of facing injustice while the rest just stand idly by because they don't really know what to do or are afraid of becoming targeted instead. How easily you get picked on when people have just accepted that you are that one that can be easily mocked. So you just end up constantly overthinking every action, live in constant fear of anyone bringing up anything that will put you in a negative light or give the bullies more fuel.
I totally relate. I'm still quiet as an adult. And ppl always ask why are you so chill? Well I got made fun of everytime I spoke so I choose to just stay silent and in the background 😢
it is truly unacceptable how normal and common it is for middle school to be horrifically traumatizing in this way
I had the same thing when I was in primary school. Almost total social ostracisation. It made me paranoid for years, and I'm only slowly realising now just how fucked up my brain still is by what I went through. How much of a people pleaser it made me to try and avoid anything like that happening again.
This video really dug up some stuff I need to process.
OMG I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE IN THIS
SO HAPPY SOMEONES RELATE
therapists keep asking why the people bully you, not understanding the concept that they simply just can so they do
I can't stress enough how painful when girls just say you done something bad to them in class when you did nothing
how terrifying not knowing what to do when girls kick you in the balls for no reason
the way they ask why are you not doing anything and the pain of not knowing what to do
because there was nothing to be done back then, I was weaker than the girls let alone the boys
I was different and weak to defend myself
because even parents not care enough and no body trust you
I was so glad to see an All My Friends Hate Me section! That final scene in the car with Pete's fiancee is honestly the most haunting "seemingly defeated monster's hand comes back and grabs the protagonist" horror movie ending I think I've ever seen.
Being autistic and raised in a highly social world has caused me immeasurable suffering that this video encapsulates perfectly and horrifically. I don't understand anyone and people rarely understand me. And as a result I have had people try to hurt me for things I still can't understand and I've unintentionally hurt others because of the things I've said or done.
I can't trust what people say anymore because I've been lied to about so many things and had people who I thought cared about me reveal how much that despised me for not being able to remember names and faces of people I can't remember ever meeting or how I have no real skills that make me useful. I'm almost 29 and even as I'm re-enrolling in college to hopefully gain some sort of experience to help me I still fear my true inability to live in this world.
It's going to be okay man. It's gonna be ok.
real. the way i keep going and stave off the urge to do it is to view my life as a story in a book. not all books have a happy ending. and everyones last page before the back cover is their death. and ive always hated unfinished stories and cliffhangers left unsolved by a sequel that never came. but because we all die eventually whatever happens, happens. atleast the book will close.
Oh God
Fellow diagnosed autistic here-
This is just...Real. Real as hell.
Fellow diagnosed ASDer. Your feelings are legit, and so is you striving to go to college again. You're a little older, a little wiser, a little more experienced. Always remember that, when/if you're afraid things will play out the same. You're the person who went through it already.
You know what made me feel a lot better about being an adult with autism? Dungeon Meshi. Laios doesn’t try to mask or conform to expectations, he just is himself and lives the kind of life he wants to live. His friends start off unsure about him, but come to understand and accept the ways he expresses himself. He’s just…..allowed to be autistic and have as many eccentricities as his friends do.
Beau Is Afraid sounds so fucked up. Holy shit. It's like a reversed chaotic The Truman Show. Definitely a movie I'd like to watch in the future.
Also, this is genuinely one of the best video essays I watched this year, if not ever. It's incredible. Thank you for making this. It somehow manages to describe a feeling I've felt several times throughout my life, but didn't know how to encapsulate.
I quit an improv comedy class because I was convinced the laughs I got were not the right kind of laughs. The first few minutes of this video hit home. Looking back on it I think it was all in my head.
U know socialism was responsible for more ded ppl n the 20th century than ths history of religion.
Of course Marxism is a religion. But we're not counting it for these puposes.
It 100% was in your head
Was "we want people to laugh with us; not at us" going through your head at the time? I mean, in improv comedy; how can one tell the difference?
@@arturoaguilar6002 You can't, that's the point. And it's probably less "they're laughing at how bad I am" and more "they're laughing because it's the socially acceptable thing to do at improv class but nothing I did was actually funny".
Can NOT believe Eyepatch Wolf's marriage to Rouge the Bat isn't legitimate smh I believed it for so long.
I know... True love is dead.... :(
this just means she's available, so I'm glad to hear it
@@batmabel she's a minor, just so you know 😬
@@Game_Hero she's 18, but she's also not real so it's ok
@@batmabel someone lusting about fictional 12 years old is still someone lusting 12 years old because of their age, keep your kids away from them.
"I want you to imagine, that you're sitting alone in a room" How does he know
Two things
First, This is the most horrifying video I've seen of yours. I have anxiety, and just that moment of "nobody laughing at my joke" really got me, and it was just the beginning. This is my new favorite video of yours.
Second thing: Once there was a fire outside of my school and it was just creeping in, and NOBODY seemed to care but me; it drove me crazy telling my few friends that we should tell the principal or something and they just saying "it's alright". I can proudly say that I did tell the principal (who was just mildly concerned but at least reacted) and I just got out of the school. Later my friend sent me a message saying that I was right, that they ended up evacuating the whole school because just the smoke was already to heavy to be safe (my school is pretty open, so imagine). I can say confidently that I'd exited that room.
My favorite band released a song titled "Death of the Party" and I bought the shirt with the title in a heartbeat because there is nothing more stressful than when I think I have something to contribute to a conversation and everyone's just laughing and having fun and it looks like a good time and then I say my piece and the conversation just stops and people stop talking and it just ends... like, this has happened A LOT and I have even asked "what did I say? did I do something wrong?" and sometimes get told "nah, you're all good./you didn't do anything, why would you ask that?" but lots of times I am just left wondering... why?!?!! Thus I feel like the death of the party.
A video that I thought would be silly to watch is actually scaring me because I have autism and have experienced a lot of scenarios where people obviously wished that I just…wasn’t there
Honestly, same. The way the subject of social exclusion brushes againt societal prejudice is not touched in the video, but it is so strong irl
I'm also autistic and the profound loneliness that comes along with being alienated by allistic society our entire lives definitely makes this video hit very, very hard 😅
I hope you find your people someday. They are out there somewhere, I promise. And when you find them, you'll realize nothing was ever wrong with you
@@sindrevangenrobberstad2889 😭 That’s so sweet thank you. All my aussies out here can relate lol
@@spookyjones6577 Aussies as in Australians? 😅
You know a video on anxious horror is going to be good when it opens with Nathan Fielder. Man's the definition of this kind of thing
I litterally said “oh no not Nathan….this is gonna be skincrawly as f!
What show was the first clip
@@requiem808 the curse it’s on prime video
@@requiem808 The Curse
@@HaleyCT thanks I watched the vid all the way through but didnt catch it
I watched All My Friends Hate Me and even tho I had it spoiled, it was still hard to watch. Almost cried a few times, as I have been in similar situations and I felt the anxiety and shame and embarassment as I watched the movie. "Not everything is about you, the world doesn't revolve around you" was a powerful line that got me at the end.
That's a pretty unconventional line to tell to the movie's main protagonist; I ain't gonna lie.
That last bit has brought me so much comfort many times in my life. I like to force myself to acknowledge and remember that people aren't thinking about me as much as I believe they are and that they exist outside of my perception of them and vice versa.
Gotta disagree with Wolf there concerning All My Friends Hate Me. I've watched the movie, and personally even taking account the final revelation I still found the "friends" to be utter assholes.
Pete didn't deserve that...I mean, after not seeing each other for years, Pete *tries* to catch up and the friends all shut that down with their "No talking shop" rule. Every attempt to make sense of what's going on gets cut off up until they set up a surprise performer as a roast that Pete has no knowledge of until he's just sitting there being mocked to his face. No wonder he breaks...
@@Seiryu64 Right? I mean Peter is by no means perfect. A bit sanctimonious and won't shut up about his volunteer work with refugees. But then you put him next to these "friends" and frankly I was rooting for him the whole movie. The shotgun and axe "pranks" are not just in poor taste, they're simply sociopath behaviour. And that roast at the end? A proper roast would be made by the friends themselves, but getting a stranger to make an impression of him? How's that supposed to be funny? You don't bring a stranger into that. That's mean spirited humiliation devoid of fun, the opposite of a true well-done party roast. Truly, I don't understand the reading of the movie as the friends being in the right and that "Pete can't take a joke" be taken seriously.
As someone with both a degree in psychology and a master's in social work I've been in many classes where we talk about these kinds of social research. I think one thing that often gets left out is that these people aren't just going along to go along, there are often very real consequences to not conforming with the people around you. We can see it in the way that neurodivergent people get bullied and ostracized for not being able to pick up and conform to social cues. If the person exerting the pressure has some kind of power over you like a boss or a teacher then there's an extra level of fear since they can enact even more dangerous punishments on you if you do not conform. Maybe it's the social worker in me and the principal of the "person in their environment" But I really think we should talk more about the social contexts and pressures being exerted and less on the individual who is conforming for their own safety.
Yeah like with the smoke through the door experiment. It actually did turn out not doing anything was correct and the people who weren't reacting were doing so for a good reason. It was indeed fine to trust that if you were the only one freaking out it must not be a big deal.
This is such a good point. And it’s also worth noting how this social mirroring and social pressure can also keep us safe. Because there are situations where the rest of the group may be more aware of a danger than you, the individual, are. Like when everyone in a hiking group stands well back from some wildlife except for that one guy who thinks he can take a selfie with the animals. Or when everyone is handling fireworks with caution except doe one drunk asshole who eventually gets his hand blown off, or worse. In that case, mirroring the group could save your life. This is why it’s illegal to post pictures of yourself going beyond certain boundaries in Yellowstone, for instance. Because if people see others getting too close to the acidic pools, it normalizes a very dangerous, often deadly practice. So social pressure isn’t always a bad thing.
@@dharmictribulationsyes! I was thinking this too. In this case, the test subject is *actually* correct in their assessment that the rest of the group must know something that they don’t! Their social instincts are working perfectly and accurately assessing the danger of the situation.
@@hollyhaunted6502That's also a very good point. Like, if it WERE a real fire, just by fact of statistics at least a few other people would also notice and try to get away, but because they didn't you're kinda wired to go "must be normal then". I bet if they did an altered experiment and had even just 1 or 2 of the actors leave, the test subject would have also left.
@@ExaltedUrielBy statistics perhaps, but as Super Eyepatch wolf presents in the video, there have been very real instances of this scenario.
The video gave me several micro panic attacks, kept me from sleeping, and made me rethink my entire existence. 10/10 no notes. I have to write something.
I find this deep dive fascinating, because what you're tapping into is often talked about in the neurodiverse community. A lot of us actively struggle with social contracts and identity, and "masking" (disguising your undesirable traits by conforming) is common to the point of having its own name. Personal liberty vs social acceptance is a hard fought battle indeed
Especially the end scene of BO hit so hard for me. "No matter what you will do you will never be enough" and the entire thing about no matter how much you try to hide it, one day the people arround you will notice that something is wrong with you" hit like a truck
What you describe applies to everyone though, maybe a select few but majority try to "market" themselves socially and are always conscious about it
"We see ourselves through other people". Who are you when you just can't do that?
@@jatfox4663 Personally I came to accept the fact that I would never be able to appear normal to others when I was in high school, but that was a very liberating experience for me.
No point in making myself miserable if other people can tell anyway, so I might as well just give up, stop worrying and be myself. Some people are gonna hate me no matter what but at least this way I'm giving the people who might love me a chance to get to know me and form a connection.
This is all the stuff I told myself and ironically I have way more friends now than I did back then. I remember this storytime youtuber called illymation talk about having similar experiences so I was under the impression that this was a pretty common thing
@@wahpah imagine you were in the same situation as the girl who participated in the experiment where she was tricked into standing for the bell. You stand for the bell, dutifully fulfilling the social contract that you have been given every reason to think was shared by everyone around you. over time you notice that not everyone stands for the bell, but the people around you continue to stand, so you continue thinking that you must be doing something right.
one day you stand for the bell as normal and everyone around you just stares at you in disgust.
"what is wrong with you?!" the nearest person snaps as you sit back down.
When I was 14 I went on a ski trip with my class. Everyone was split into groups with an instructor in each. The problem was, I wasn’t a very attentive kid, so I fucked off and just went skiing by myself. I got a little worried I’d get in trouble at first though, so I asked a kid which hill the group I was supposed to be in was at, and the kid said “YOU’RE OUT OF YOU’RE GROUP!!?” And everyone in the lodge looked at me with distain and hatred for no real reason. So you know what I did. I kept skiing by myself and the teachers didn’t do shit. That’s the moral of the story, just do your own thing.
Grouping is done to keep the kids safe and supervised. You wandered away, and while trying to make your way back, was shunned for breaking away from the crowd in the first place. A kid breaking a taboo was a bigger deal than keeping a kid safe. 😮💨 That tracks with these stories
Still though, you made a good point. We had been ingrained to base our joys to other people that we forgot that in the end, the only person who can give us satisfaction is ourselves.
that's their (the other kids') loss, i'd have thought you were SO cool for going and just doing it all by yourself. i never had the courage to do anything like that lol. the only time i ever really "abandoned" whatever group of students i was supposed to stay with was the time that a teacher triggered some deep trauma in me and i walked out of the classroom in a literal daze, only half aware of my surroundings. i was found sitting at a table in the courtyard, so i didn't go far or get into trouble, but i had to basically be out of my mind to ever even consider bailing lmao. honestly, i should have walked away from so many more situations, but oh well - we can't all be independent-minded 14yos who ski wherever they dang well please haha
This is _so_ weirdly similar to what happened to me, right down to the age. We were about to set off over a blind dip, my boot came off at the last minute, and by the time I'd recovered my group was gone. So I figured they'd gone the only way they could - down - and eventually ended up crying my way down a Red thinking I was going to fall off the edge.
Turned out they'd peeled off to a lil cabin restaurant in the first 100m of that slope and I just hadn't been paying attention to where we'd be going next.
(Thankfully the people I asked for help in my scenario were far more friendly, though most likely because I was a tall teenage boy in tears)
Not meaning to invalidate your personal experience, but whenever someone says "EVERYONE there was looking at me with judgement/disdain/hatred" it's usually not what actually happened. You FELT like they were looking at you with "disdain and hatred," but in all likelihood they were looking at the kid who loudly shouted at you in confusion, wondering what was going on, and you perceived it as negative judgement of you specifically because you knew you already felt like you had done something "wrong" by wandering off alone. Just think about it for a second; if you were in a crowded lodge and you overheard the interaction you just described, would YOU glare at a child with "disdain and hatred" for that? And if you yourself would never do that, why do you assume everyone else would?
The personal honesty in so many little parts of this video were so refreshing and made me feel so seen. I truly enjoy your work so so much. Please also know that I’m sure plenty of people who love your work and probably have insightful things to say are just too tired to do anything beyond watch the video to the end and drop a like on it. I’ve definitely been that person!
I really appreciate how genuine and exposed you are, it’s an honesty so raw it’s honestly kind of shocking at times. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and you might be the only person who can speak to me in a way that resonates with the pure dread and paranoia I often live with.
This is the problem.
I remember there was a fire in a movie theatre i was at once. No one got up to leave, fire alarms were strobbing, but we werent about to miss Ethan Hunt disarm a nuclear missle device and save the day. I didnt get up either, I cant explain why. Eventually an employee got in and was like "GUYS WTF YOU HAVE TO GO". If it was a bad fire, it wouldve been a really stupid way to die
@banquetoftheleviathan1404 You have. "Yelling fire in a crowded theater is illegal" is a myth.
Bystander effect. It's like the people in my neighborhood who witnessed an old woman fall down stairs, crack open her skull, and just stood there watching her cry for help as she bled everywhere. Only when my family and I got home, did someone do anything; we called police right away, cleaned up everything and made sure to apply pressure to the wound to try to stop the bleeding. This type of phenomenon has happened throughout history. People have witnessed rapes, murders, beatings, and lots of illegal stuff and did nothing because they were waiting for someone else to stand up and do something or call 911... essentially everyone is waiting for someone else to do something and then nothing gets done. And it doesn't matter how many people are around. These events have happened on trains, in Times Square, etc.
In fairness- I have lived through far more drills than actual fires. A lot of false alarms tends to endure you to actual fires
as someone who grew up with an anxiety disorder (and autism secretly) and genuinely spent ten years in cognitive behavioral therapy to try to hate myself less, the wave of anxiety that washed over me during the first three examples overwhelmed me so much i couldve thrown up IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE
Should be the tagline of the channel. "Supereyepatchwolf: makes you vomit in the best way possible."
@@milos1967 okay NEARLY, i havent thrown up yet
@@probablytonikensa4744Take care mate, don't stress yourself out.
@@probablytonikensa4744 Wouldn't be the first piece of marketing to overexagerate
When it's mostly water and just a little bit of bile and mucus, and none of it backs up into your nose, and you genuinely feel better afterward?
That story about the people subjected to their coworkers turning on them was so horrifying. Like I have to pause and breath. It so upsetting
Serial Experiments Lain, Paranoia Agent, Mister Organ, the works of Shirley Jackson (The Lottery, Nightmare, Renegade, The Demon Lover), Compliance, The Stepford Wives, Speak No Evil, Beau is Afraid, All My Friends Hate Me
This comment need to get pinned
Up
thank you
Thanks mate!
The final scene of The Curse also reminds me of a dissociative panic attack. The way he's desperately asking for help from everyone around him, but they're all sure he's just fine and pretending or crazy, giving him "help" that actually makes things worse, until finally he's unable to maintain his tenuous hold on the world - it feels pretty relatable to me. I think the interpretation in the video is more poetic and ties the whole thing together better, but the scene works on multiple levels is all I'm saying.
Yeah it's an existentially terrifying scene for me, the imagery of falling upwards always has been for me. Something is happening only to me no one else believes there's any actual danger. I had a period of dissociative panic attacks a few years back, once got taken to the ER because of it, but most of them were me breaking down crying and wracked with anxiety for hours alone. I agree that the symbolic representation of social isolation is more fitting, but the visceral, experiential connection to that scene through dissociation, panic attacks, and being seen as "overreacting" on something that is either extremely important or extremely dire from your perspective is a stronger emotional connection.
The story behind the movie compliance is a great lesson on why the first thing you should always say to a "police officer" who is making requests is: "Where's the warrant?" Followed immediately after by "I want a lawyer." For good measure, a "fuck you" is also appreciated, but might be dangerous so use at your own discretion.
I will never forgive police drama TV for presenting warrants as a "what criminals use to avoid giving up evidence" thing in people's minds.
No, these are here to protect you, so that both police and people pretending to be police have to have a good reason for investigating you.
@@ElliotGeltz Wrong things that police dramas have shown:
-Talking to police without a lawyer
-Making Internal Affairs look like the villains
@@vitoc8454 Oh they just hate those pesky Internal Affairs! Doing things like investigating brutality and vigilantism when they could be stopping the REAL criminals!
As soon as the strip search demand came in they should’ve told the “officer” to continue the “investigation” themselves. Maybe call the local precinct to make sure there’s actually is an investigation going on
I passionately dislike the police and government so much, that if I'd try to stop it, but I also dislike people so after saying something I'd just leave. The people would most likely still do it after I left.
My stomach dropped like crazy when you said Compliance was a true story, it’s horrific, I can’t imagine how this person would benefit if they’re not actively in the restaurant or viewing the cameras.
they just benefited from the thought of what was happening
@@nobodyislistening150 my thing with that is that it seems like a ton of effort for something the perpetrator can’t see whatsoever, just to bust a nut to the thought of it or something?
@@Toy_Tomb he could probably hear some parts of the victim if they were being loud enough, so that would add something to it
The thrill of power over others
@@Toy_Tomb some people truly are sadistic enough to get off on the horror they've inflicted on the victims, in perpetuity, and the depths to which they've easily convinced "good people" to brutalize one of their own... especially an easy target for other kinds of cruelty that could have existed in those people-- but they kept hidden. Maybe just from other people, but maybe in themselves, because they were never handed the excuse or permission from an acceptable and demanding perceived authority.
These kinds of things are about control and destruction. If this person really want to hurt someone, why not use EVERYONE they know or have to see in real life, many of them who are only one or two degrees removed from some of their closest friends, to hurt them? Why not rip a bunch of people's masks of decency off, even to themselves, in the hopes they'll (very realistically) get mad and blame the only person who visibly poses an ongoing threat: the victim that can press charges against them. Even though they're all the victims of the same psychological manipulation, the level of cruelty people inflicted with the barest whiff of "someone saying he's a cop, that for some reason hasn't phoned in his buddies to come rack up some overtime hours, says to do this sick shit, iunno guess we should" absolutely deserved severe penalties. Being familiar with some of those incidents, they deserved things I can't type on RUclips, and their victims are told to "stop holding grudges" against people who have tried to allign them WITH the original scammer, ringleader scumbag. Participants hated what that betrayal showed them of themselves so much they just doubled down on victimizing the people they wounded instead of remotely look at themselves as being more akin to the caller, than the person being SA'd. By them.
Nothing about these crimes is about a one-off thrill. People who do this might "improvise" in the moment, as much as you have to to juggle the different attitudes and characters, but they're doing it for the disgusting smugness they get to feel knowing that they ruined not one just one-- but dozens, HUNDREDS of lives-- in one day. Nobody from those restaurants went back home the same people, nobody's lives were the same after that... and here the caller is, talking about the same shit everyone in his life is, probably drinking a beer, everyone around them... thinks they're normal. Everyone around them thinks they're good, too. Sadism is never a one-off act of degradation, exploitation, or abuse. It exists because the pain inflicted lasts longer than it takes the initial injury to heal, if it ever does. Because people believe that people _can't_ truly do ALL THAT to a single person, to many or even dozens of people just to deeply cut at a few of them, just for a nut or a thing to smile to themselves about later, the way you might a particularly beloved animal meme. The cruelty is the point, and the fact that it'll be treated as fiction or inconceivable (despite the very real and easy way people latched onto the opportunity to go whatever their fetishized form of COPS on someone was) is very much the reason it happens.
I have social anxiety, and becoming a horror artist is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. My particular brand of horror art is all centered around enormous, detailed eyes, which is nothing new for horror artists, but I think it's very empowering to be able to create these unsettling expressions that make people feel like they're being watched. It's an expression of how I feel a lot of the time, and after being so afraid of being perceived, being able to create art that "looks back" has done a lot of good for me.
Loved your Shirley Jackson analyses btw! She's one of my favorites, and "The Renegade" is high on my list of her short stories. Great video!!
I have social anxiety and suspected aspergers and I have a fascination with eyes too! Although I'm not a horror artist I always design monsters with giant eyes that look at the viewer. I still didn't unpack the reason but I have a fear of certain peoples eyes, especially icy blue eyed people
I have a slightly different read on "All My Friends Hate Me" with respect to Pete's behaviour. I think yours is a good one as well, but my read is that all those things he was doing over the course of the weekend that they ripped into him about were his desperate struggles to try and re-engage with them while feeling anxious, uncomfortable and like something was wrong. And to have those attempts torn into like that is the true climax of devastating social horror to me, that message of "yes, you were right that things were off, and any attempt you can possibly make is the wrong one, you should just have stayed silent" cuts right to the heart of a feeling I've seen expressed by many people I hold dear.
Ah, the trauma of being autistic (I am autistic and am used to this).
@@GMobius I like that more. Makes me feel less bad about myself.
I have to disagree with that read, it just feels mean and cynical. "Other people hate you and any attempt to change that is futile" is how people with social anxiety, people like Pete, think the world works when in reality most of that is in their heads.
You basically turned "All My Friends Hate Me", a movie about a man whose anxieties and guilt have turned him into someone that suspects everyone around him is out to get him, into "Beau Is Afraid" a movie about how YES EVERYONE HATES YOU, AND THEY ARE OUT TO GET YOU AND, YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID. I dislike the latter to be honest because of it's cynicism and I do believe the movie should have ended with the reveal that Beau is just living this hell in his head. That people can be shitty, but also kind and that it is Beau, who in his fear of getting hurt, of being judged refuses to engage with others.
Enough of that, back to "All My Friends Hate Me", Pete is the prime example for your average person who has social anxiety in my opinion. He hates himself out of guilt for what happened, yet he also loves himself and thinks himself better than others, for his charity work and for how sophisticated he is. Pete lives with that tension and so he assumes out of narcissism that the people around him judge him, because why would they not?
He is convinced others care so much about him that they look at his every action, listen to every word he says and they judge him for it, waiting for him to slip up and reveal what a piece of shit he really is. Because he also hates himself, for what he did back then, for how awkward he is, for how he struggles to fit in, and so assumes other people hate him for these things too.
The reality however is that people don't judge everything you do, they quite frankly don't care. That time you tripped in PE class and fell flat on your face in front of everyone? That time you told a joke that made no one laugh? Each and every cringe worthy embarrasing moment that flashes before your eyes when going to bed? Nobody cares about that. Do you remember that time a friend tried to greet you when you randomly met in public and they flubbed the first few words? Do you remember the stranger that couldn't get a word out when asking for directions? Do you remember that time in high school when a classmate mildly fucked up during a presentation? I assume no, right? Social Anxiety (the mental illness type) makes you believe that everyone judges you and constantly obsesses over you, when they in reality don't. It makes you think that people hate you, when all they have ever shown you is love and support. "All My Friends Hate Me" is about the narcissism and self-hatred that goes into developing that kind of mindset.
@@pelzebub6664 Lol. People being mean and inconsiderate? That never happens! It's anxious people who are the problem! They should just take it and stop imagining things! Their feelings aren't valid! Anxiety is basically insanity, I guess.
@@pelzebub6664 haven't watched the movie but cool analysis.
This video reminds me of the deeply disturbing experience I had my first year at college.
Despite not being a fan of social media, a clip of me went viral and within the first week I was known by nearly everyone around campus. So I started playing into it and posting some clips myself. Girls were coming up to me begging me to take selfies with them, people were asking for autographs, it was absurd. I was even asked to join a frat and told they'd pay for everything for me. I was stupid enough to believe they cared about me instead of just wanting to use my fame around campus go bring girls over and attract new recruits. Then, mostly because I talked about past trauma and struggle with mental health issues, I was kicked out.
But the word spread that it was simply because I made people "uncomfortable", a word which can mean a lot of things. Naturally this led to all sorts of horrible rumors spreading like wildfire, and literally everywhere I went I was getting dirty looks if not being openly harassed.
Eventually I made some strategic social media posts and my reputation mostly recovered, but that experience was so horrific that I very nearly ended things.
My point is, that this kind of horror is genuinely terrifying, and I truly relate to most of the people in these stories. Great video.
Omg I can't even imagine this kind of scenario. I'm sorry you went through glad and glad you managed to give an end to it!
This has happened to me too much and I'm sorry you went through that.
What sucks is when you tried to open up they shut you down.
It sucks that it's so hard to open up and when you do your shut down for it. I've had bad experiences because I opened up before and now I find myself keeping my emotions bottled up.
@@TheLordofMetroids Absolutely feel this. I get shut down by family members a lot too so I completely get that. I feel they're hand in hand with each other. Sorry to hear it too :/
Goodspeed, friend. Keep on keeping on
I feel like social anxiety horror is what alot of awkwardness/discomfort-based comedy becomes to me.
Which adds up with the idea that horror is just comedy without a punchline lol
OMG, yes! I hate this kind of comedy, it's terrible and makes me feel a level of discomfort that most horror can't bring me to feel.
So what Jordan Peele said is correct. He often said that comedy and horror often has the same kind of structure.
@@melodybaoin1425 and he should know, he's been quite successful at both
Oh my God yes! Like if the music and some body cues/ facial features are changed in these comedies they could become terrifying horror easily !
Never heard of that idea before. Very interesting take
I cannot describe how deeply this video hits after getting into a new job and being forced to exist alongside people I not only have nothing in common with, but also actively despise.
Watching this is actually quite effective in exploring what exactly I suffer with on a daily basis: my inability, and hefty unwillingness, to conform to the society around me.
Yup, this one is definitely going in my Favorites.
damn i hope your new job has a better environment
Remember that you can at least make it easier on yourself by trying to find some form of common ground. I have friends and have befriended co-workers who pretty much had nothing in common with me interest-wise, but understood what being a woman or a weirdo or Asexual or a chef or disabled was like and that little similarity was enough to build a foundation. I had nice conversations with people about life and even if we didn't have the same interests, learning about each other's faves was fun seeing them be happy and sometimes even lead to me or them discovering something new and expanding our horizons.
The "compliance" storyline and real life examples, as a high school girl looking for her first job, let's just say I have a new greatest fear unlocked😭
Me too, just actively shitty my pants in fear over here. I’m ok, everything’s fine 😅…
Whew…
Damn
At least now you've gained a little extra resilience for that sort of extremely rare scenario. Don't let anyone treat you poorly.
@@artyb27 That’s true and in a weird way really does make me feel better.
My biggest advice for you is Do Not Settle. Look long and hard in your job search. Find anything that isn't fast food or retail. It's worth it.
@@koy5902 You should probably provide some examples considering the jobs that are willing to hire teenage help that are not retail or food service ... Basically do not exist.
Thank you for distilling all my nightmares into an hour and twenty two minute video essay. It's amazing and I never want to watch it ever again!
This felt like forced exposure therapy to everything I struggle with instead of a video essay on a random niche subject before bed. Ty for the eventual nightmares and new topics to speak with my therapist about. I'm looking forward to your next video. This one was pretty good.
Underrated that you give warning for animal harm!! I don't mind that content with warning/a second to brace, not enough people do that, thank you ♡♡♡♡♡
There’s a concept for people who are neurodivergent called “masking” where someone will try to bury their neurodivergent tendencies in order to be perceived as more normal.
As someone who is neurodivergent, the fear that makes me resonate with this video is the fear that the way I fundamentally think of how I interpret things is wrong.
And that leads to a lot of social anxiety and causes a sort of self-gaslighting where you feel so deeply you are right about something, but are afraid you will never be able to explain that to other people.
Same here 😔
I barely socialise anymore because of how i think other people will react, and it's made making friends a challenge,
and being neurodivergent just fuels the already existing dumpster fire.
@@emerald6521 Personally I feel like being neurodivergent made this video a lot easier for me.
Like at this point I'm so used to making a fool of myself in front of other people I've learned to live with the embarrassment. And I couldn't be completely normal no matter what I did, so I gave up trying.
Masking never worked for me. It made me miserable and made forming genuine connections with others impossible. I'm so much happier now.
I know a lot of autistic people who've gone through this, so maybe it just happens with age?
@@brianistryin76 people who self-describe as normal certainly are
@@sp00nf0rks 💯
That doesn't seem abnormal though, at least on a surface level. Normally, people have some quirks about them or their behavior that make them stand out in what is perceived as a negative way. And since they might not like the attention they get, they will "mask" that quirk about them. Example would be someone who laughs really loudly suddenly laughing less or trying to supress it.. Unless you are referring to something more extreme, it seems pretty normal tbh
"Hell is other people"- Jean-Paul Sartre, No Exit
I was thinking about this exact phrase throughout the video. Had no idea where it was from.
More of a Camus fan but I do love that quote from Sartre and his crooked eye ❤
Sorry for the "umm akchually", but this quote is commonly misinterpreted for being introvert.
Satre himself clarified it that's not the case.
His response - _“Hell is other people” has always been misunderstood. It has been thought that what I meant by that was that our relations with other people are always poisoned, that they are invariably hellish relations. But what I really mean is something totally different. I mean that if relations with someone else are twisted, vitiated, then that other person can only be hell. Why? Because … when we think about ourselves, when we try to know ourselves … we use the knowledge of us which other people already have. We judge ourselves with the means other people have and have given us for judging ourselves._
TL;DR - “Hell is other people because you are, in some sense, forever trapped within them, subject to their apprehension of you.”
@@hemangchauhan2864well, this video has an entire section about how "what people perceive you as is what you are", so i think the No Exit reference here is very fitting
Yeah, Sartre and his thoughts on "gaze" and being-for-others was in my head all along the video.
Dawg, that "It's okay, we're pack animals" is cold as hell and such a good way to present that idea. I'm in awe of your work. Well done!
Eyepatch wolf is probably going to have merch next week saying “pack animal” on it
40:55 If you want a crazier version of the Stepford Wives, you need to read this play by the same author of the original story: Ira Levin aka the guy who wrote Rosemary's Baby. It's called Veronica's Room and it's even more fucked up (gaslighting, incest, necrophilia...yeah I want to direct this but I'm gonna need people to be aware what they are walking into). Ira loves this theme of feminism torn down by the patriarchy in some way which really fascinates me. He somehow hit the pulse of what female fear was and wrote about it at the exact time second wave feminism was taking hold.
I was on meth for 3 years, and the paranoia is so unreal, even when people try their best to tell you they love you and they don’t want to hurt you or send you to jail, your brain says “why did they say it like that? Of course they’re lying, they want to hurt you, they can’t do that if you’re onto them!
It’s hell.
I have never done meth, but at one point I was so stressed and depressed that I didn't believe my dogs genuinely loved me, and in hindsight I think there's a horror story hidden there.
Been there brother. At one point I thought there were FBI officers hiding in a small pond outside my apartment complex. It truly was hell. Sober now tho!
My little brother was on drugs at one point and accused me of putting water in his shampoo bottle... when he was leaving the lid open. He ruined my own shampoo and conditioner by putting water in them even after I told him he was being ridiculous because he didn't believe me.
Lol...
I was on dope for A LOOOOOONG TIME.
I could handle it better than anyone I knew.
I know exactly what u mean tho.
There was one time where I got to the point where EVERYTHING that was said was a dig at me in my own head.
I kinda caught myself but it wasn't really up to me.
I got clean after I list the job I had for 6 years.
Random dt. It was sad and half the plant cried and corporate has a no rehire policy.
Also 3 days before Xmas.
If not for that tho I would still be a head. There was no way I could keep working and get off of drugs. I've been sober now for the first time since I was 13. 26 years.
I can't beleive how good I actually feel. I still have ticks and a few burned guy traits but I'm never going back.
God speed bubba.
@@mangohavoc6428I enjoyed seeing the shadow ppl and letting my mind run apeshit.
I was really good at being a dope head. Sad that's what my expertise was tho.
You're not my therapist. However, you've provided an answer from a personal problem I've had, well, ever since I've existed. I thank you deeply. Even though this wasn't intended, it leaves me in tears
What's the answer? Or what's the question?
Leave them be. It’s not your business.
@@halfpintrr we are forever moved by curiosity and hunger of knoledge. If the other guy wants to answer, let him. He can just refuse.
After that opening I don't know if I'm having a good enough day to watch this one today. Might circle back tomorrow.
Accurate.
Yea bro. Somehow, same.
good idea!! (man who watched this after a very stressful day)
God I feel you there...I still watched it anyway but I feel you
Aw, I hear that. I hope tomorrow goes better for you! *Gives you tea and cookies*
I watched the whole thing, didn't skip a single spoiler, yet you still hurt me with those deliberate spelling mistakes.
That aside, 10/10: another banger
Man, that phone call story unlocked a childhood trauma of mine. I was maybe 8 or 9 when the house's landline rings and I pick up, after a few hellos nobody is answering, but I know the line isn't disconnected. I randomly decide to start blowing into the phone because I can faintly hear myself through the speaker on the other end, and childhood curiosity took over. The guy on the other end proceeds to start screaming my ear off for doing that, and I'm pretty sure he contributed to my pretty severe social anxiety growing up. I now know it was likely a telemarketer looking to get our machine or something, but experiencing that as a kid was pretty formative.
By the end of the video I couldn't stop thinking about how growing up with ADHD means constantly searching for validation in the ways you struggle with things that seem so easy for other people, all the while you're being judged for not being enough, the people around you, people you love, failing to notice struggles you barely understand yourself
this hits so fucking close to hom. Glad im not alone in this
I’ve been dealing with this recently. Getting to the point I’m just exhausted. Doesn’t matter if I tell people. If they know. If we’ve had intimate conversations about it. They will never really understand. And that’s such an isolating feeling.
i was diagnosed formally only a few years ago, but i've strongly known/suspected myself to have adhd much much longer. however, i did not know this of myself during my school years, not until AFTER i'd dropped out of high school, and slowly started realizing that the undiagnosed adhd was absolutely an enormous contributing factor for a multitude of reasons. i lied about doing my math homework to my parents instead of telling them i was struggling, because i was just expected to do my HW without prompting. i frequently wondered what on earth it was that i did to make so many people treat me so poorly, when i'd never done them any harm, or even really spoke to them - what about me was so wrong, so different? why couldn't i ever seem to "nail it" like everyone else? i didn't tell people how much i was struggling and hurting because no one else seemed to be, so i didn't want to be perceived as "less than", or weak, or weird, or w/e else. no one else found the smoke alarming, so obviously i must be the odd one out for choking, right?
@@joelman1989”The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.”
Finding a good support group (family or friends or a lover or strangers on a forum or something) can really help you deal with this. I still feel OK at life but I have always had people cheering me on no matter what, even when I failed. It's still tough, due to everyone around me having mental illnesses, but I have been able to know it's ok not to be amazing at something or to fail and if others don't think I am good enough or they judge me, then at least I know I will always have love and acceptance. And because I have that, it helped me to come to terms with my physical and mental disabilities. I now practice body neutrality in that I don't love or hate myself but I stopped worry about who I am and all the bad stuff and I have been less stressed because I am real about it; I know I can't get better and that I am stuck but if I accept it and learn to deal with it then I cope easily and don't get as anxious.
My favorite story by Shirley Jackson has to be "Of Course". I love how it slowly and subtlety builds tension as Mrs. Harris reveals the extent of her husband's control over her and her sons' life, which is only compounded as Mrs. Taylor continues to force herself to maintain a sense of politeness and acceptance even if she also notices the horror of the situation.
It just hits different when you see someone who’s situation is alarming, but you don't have evidence that there's anything illegal behind the curtain. So you're more or less stuck watching and hoping things don't become a problem in the future.
of course is so good. love that the dread isnt just in the conversation theyre having, but the other woman trying to politely let her neighbour know what to avoid bc i feel like these kinds of men always find something new no matter how careful one treads
@@kc-ze6wzExactly, you can feel the mounting dread as the story makes it clear Mr. Harris' controlling nature extends beyond his family and that these two housewifes can basically do nothing to stop him. It's so good, I love Jackson's works.
My favorite of all others has to be “The Witch”
Its incredibly subversive commentary of Patriarchal Horror and it’s also one of the shortest of hers I’ve come across so far
@@nadiapenn8480 I was looking for someone else to mention The Witch, it's one of my favourites too. It makes me feel so uneasy
@@bunniebiejust read it and I don’t really get it. Scary man on train?
This really makes me think how minorities might react differently in these situations, when we often are already excluded and singled out by society. I know that the majority of poc I’ve met who worked in fast food would always be wary of the police and the first thing they would do when getting a call would be to ask for the officer’s name and badge number just to put on record in case anything happens to them (the argument could be made that because half of them have had bad experiences with cops before just as most poc do).
In other instances someone like me, who has autism, would be blind to the expectations that were put on me, this is from experience as I often have to be told explicitly how I’m supposed to interact with the rest of society and that I really should start to pick up on social cues. Just something I’m thinking about as I watch the video
same. i wonder how different (or not) the numbers would be with specific marginalized groups. i'm also autistic, and i've been through enough situations of feeling like the only rational person in the room that i don't THINK the smoke test would get me. but man it can be hard to tell whether being the odd one out means you're the only reasonable one, or if it means you're the only unreasonable one there
i've been through a lot of little versions of this kind of horror. "all my friends hate me" in particular calls to mind the one year of middle school where i was a new student, and the friends i made at the school later admitted that they only decided to be friends with me in the first place because they pitied me. i still don't know how to feel about that one
As a person with the kind of autism that doesn't debilitate you, but also makes you emotionally out of sync with others, I feel this on a special level. Uninterested reactions, or "what"s when I say something (I have a fairly low voice) cause terror, some of which you could probably see in the way my face almost immediately changes without my control. This isn't some sob story, I'm barely on the spectrum and don't have any problem socializing so I'm grateful, but it's very personal to see those feelings on screen
You literally described me 😭
The entire Video hit home like a truck for me. Some parts were actually emotionally painful to watch
I haven't been diagnosed with autism but what you described is exactlly me. I'm constantly stressed about my facial expressions. People always comment on whatever face my face is making and making assumptions about what I'm thinking because of it. People always tell me I look scared or angry even when I'm not feeling that way at all (or when I think I've done a good job of hiding those emotions, which is even worse). It's made me hyper aware of my face and my inability to control it. At some point I stopped trying to talk to my friends and family about my interests because I never know how they're going to respond to me being excited, but the fact that it's usually boredom or the response of 'calm down' makes it not even worth the risk anymore because of how awful it makes me feel. And a lot of the time people don't even hear what I say the first time because I 'mumble' without even realising it. Whenever I speak I never know if anyones even going to hear me in the first place, and having to repeat everything is so frustrating sometimes that I don't even bother trying. It's almost physically painful to talk loud.
I am on a similar boat. Though farther in the spectrum. I appreciate my ability to not go with the flow, because I am so oblivious to social cues and group mentality. It can be extremely annoying. But I’m also very grateful for it in hindsight.
I got lucky of having a dad who instilled a strong sense of "Fuck anyone who doesn't like you" growing up. I suspect that, like me, he also got autism, when I was little I would often go to him to ask why people did this or that thing and his answer would usually be "People are stupid, don't be brainwashed into trying to fit in" etc. It gave me a huge superiority complex in school, which of course isn't good, I was the "Not like other girls" and "The only thinking being in a world of sheep" kind of insufferable teenager. But thanks to that I also never tried to mask, and once the self centeredness wore off growing up it just left me with a strong liking for myself.
Everyone will always find me weird for reasons they can't explain, and I know I'm cursed to make a horrible first impression for reasons beyond my understanding, but people usually warm up to me once they get to know me better, and those who don't, well, who gives a fuck what they think? I've got an aura around me that makes people recognize me as an anomaly, and I can't shake it off, it will always be like that, so might as well get confortable with being who I am, no use trying to fit in. At this point not even a full room of people telling me they hate me for being weird and offputting can make me feel shame.
After the first minute of you talking about All My Friends Hate Me I had to pause the video and go watch it. I've never seen cringe be used as a vessel for horror but by god did it make it work lol.
Ultimately I still feel bad for Pete in the end. The worst thing he did to his friends before the climax was be a bit inconsiderate in not asking them about their lives and being vocal about his negative opinion towards Archie's business idea, when he was just trying to find his footing in an alienating situation at his own damn birthday party. The fact that they all thought he was self-centered at a weekend they orchestrated specifically to celebrate him was so wild lol.
Meanwhile, his friends tried to drug him, coaxed him into doing drugs in order to conform, made him feel like he was going to be killed, gaslit him, made him feel ashamed when doing something they all know he's never done, isolated him with memories he doesn't have and challenged him on memories he does. Even if the old Pete would have thought all that was funny, this one clearly doesn't, and his friends were being WAY more inconsiderate than he ever was by refusing to call it quits despite obviously crossing his boundaries repeatedly.
Sonia (his fiance) revealing by the end that she's just like Pete's other friends, totally comfortable with making him feel shame and anxiety over his mistakes in order to mess with him, really was the nail in the coffin. Even if Pete doesn't stay in touch with his other friends after this, the person he does still have is more of the same, putting him right back into the spiral of discomfort about the very fact that he's uncomfortable. Idk why people on Letterboxd didn't think it was right to call it a horror, that shit was agonizing lol thank you for this video and for the recommendation. I'm gonna come back to the rest of this one later after I've seen Beau is Afraid and The Curse lol
It’s cool to see him talking about All My Friends Hate Me again. He actually mentioned it in one of his my favorite things videos and I checked it out then because of it
Yeah. Like it turns out old Pete completely sucked... but so do all these people who feel like showing up several hours late is normal, all that other shit you listed and additionally bringing that one guy who is literally trying to become old Pete. Fascinating movie tbh
THANK YOU! i frankly feel like Peter is a man who's aware he was an even worse jerk in his past, who feels a fair amount of shame or anxiety about it, and has earnestly tried to better himself, even if it's maybe gone to his head a little. pride is a common character flaw, after all, but of all the things to be overly proud of, charity work is perhaps the least offensive. ultimately, he just wants to have a good time with old friends, and even when he's inconsiderate towards them, it's never out of malice, it's just ignorance, a lack of self awareness. another character flaw to be sure, but far from unfixable. he doesn't know that he's in the wrong, and maybe that's not an excuse, but if everyone keeps letting it happen over and over and over again... how is he ever SUPPOSED to know he's in the wrong?? at a certain point, maybe someone should... gee i don't know... have an adult conversation with him about it?? ugh, it's just so distressing to watch. i know pete's not real but i hope he broke up with that fiance lmao; Skippy deserves better friends
My favourite part of the Ashe line study is the fact that adding someone who agrees with the participant massively decreases the compliance rate. Some people don't mind being unpopular, they just don't want to be alone.
But it doesn't reduce it to 0.
Yeah. I think that's something we can learn. All it takes is one, and more will join.
I found that one quite hard to relate to, especially when people knew the answer was wrong. If I was uncertain, I could probably be made to keep it to myself, but if I knew with certainty that everyone else was saying something clearly wrong, I don't think I could contain my incredulity.
Basically explains outcasts like me and my siblings and friends and husband and family... we all like being ourselves and sticking to our beliefs and such but we all don't want to be alone, so we all stayed true to ourselves and now we have a close and trusted circle of like-minded people. We still have issues with dealing with social anxiety and stuff, but it definitely makes it easier to deal with life knowing we are not the only ones.
What an incredible thumbnail. Haunting, in the best way possible
Even more messed up wit h the Stip Search Phone Call scam is they caught the guy, had evidence that lined up and caught him lying, but he was later acquitted. Oddly enough the calls all stopped after his arrest and acquittal almost like there's eyes on him and he knows it.
From the sounds of it the prosecution shit the bed and fumbled it.
I hope so. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure he would probably be using his skill to make scam calls nowadays. Authority impersonation is a favorite tactic in phishing...
I had a version of the smoky room experiment happen at my old apartment complex. My neighbor told me there was a fire on the low side of the building and water wasn't putting it out. I asked how long it had been there and she told me it had been shouldering under the dead foliage for THREE DAYS! Everyone including her had just been failing to put it out dropping water from above. When I went down there, it was smouldering in about a four foot wide patch right against the side of the building. Even the firefighters after putting it out looked at me like I was stupid for calling and should have just put it out on my own despite knowing the attempts made. That same neighbor stole my lord of the rings box set, and I'm still salty about it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, was it the extended edition?
@zuthalron7123 unfortunately yes. Along with my original dvd of The Socerer's Stone that my late grandmother got for my 7th birthday, the widescreen edition with the dvd mini games that had you tap the bricks to enter diagon alley.
That is so bizarre, no one else called the firefighters for three days??? Sounds like a Shirley Jackson short story!
I'd do dark things to somebody if they stole my extended edition box set...
@@willardprenfrew4303 I'd have paid to see my expression when she told me it had been there for three days
I remember when I was I kid I would always have this version of the common nightmare 'you're at school, but when you look down you realize you're completely naked' where no one else seemed to notice. Everyone interacted with me as if everything was normal, only noticing that I was acting panicked and uncomfortable. And I would spend the entire dream in terror that someone would finally realize and point it out to everyone.
Has happend to me multible times.
Shit, I've had this exact dream. I wonder if it's related to anxiety or stress somehow.
Dude, have been there like, point by point like that
For me, _I'm_ always the one who doesn't notice. After a bit, someone will point it out to me, and I'll just be like, "oh, ha ha, whoops, sorry", go to leave, and wake up feeling vaguely disappointed in myself.
Literally the dream I had at school what the fuck...
this video sent me into a half hour long mild anxiety attack. i love this video. 10/10. will probably be bringing it up in therapy. thank you for undergoing what im sure was a grueling process of self-analysis to bring this video into the world, i think im slightly better for having watched it
When I moved to London from a country with substantially fewer people than London has, I had to stop taking my anti-anxiety meds because the NHS wouldn't prescribe them. I spent six months in an unending social anxiety horror movie. I couldn't speak to anyone because I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing, I got fired from the only job I managed to get after nine days because multiple customers told my boss I seemed constantly terrified, and in a place like London the only time I was ever alone was in my bedroom. So I just... stopped going outside, other than to the Tescos down the road, where I only ever used the self checkouts. I have always had a fondness for terrifying social anxiety horror because it makes me feel like I'm not the only one who can't ask for directions or order a drink or figure out how to make people like me.
Wow, that's really sad. Screw the NHS. I hope you're doing better
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry. It’s good that you didn’t turn to something like alcohol to tamp down on your anxiety, like many people who don’t have access to medication do. Debilitating anxiety needs to be taken much more seriously as a condition that affects all aspects of your life. Thank you for sharing your story.
@@Mallowolf I probably would have, if I hadn't been too anxious to talk to a bartender or show my ID at the supermarket... There's a misconception about anxiety that you just need to not worry so much, but it can take over your entire life.
@@jaredclapin1638 I'm doing much better, thank you. I came home, went back on my meds, and absolutely refuse to ever give them up again.
Is there anything a person you're interacting with could do to make the situation any better for you?
The story at the end is so deeply horrifying. It sounds like something I would hear from a true crime channel, not directly from a youtuber I enjoy. That is truly scary. On a lighter note, I do enjoy how to analyze media here and how you go about presenting their stories.
Beau is Afraid is literally one of my anxiety fears, that even when I'm alone, even when there shouldn't be anyone around, that somehow I am being watched and/or being judged. It definitely is horror to me
Every time I think of the movie, I think of the letterboxd review Ayo Edebiri left, and I can't help laughing.
Which reminds me of the whole "society told me to..." type of phenomenon a lot of people try to use as an excuse for why they hurt others or do horrible or dumb things. Like how my father-in-law blamed "peer pressure" for burning down a field... yet he was the only person to do it and was alone when he did it but said "I just felt like I was being judged for not being badass enough". It lead to him getting in a lot of trouble for most of his teen years.
Beau is afraid made me cry. I have never seen a film better articulate what it's like (for me, anyway) having borderline personality disorder.
A really common symptom of BPD is having this extremely weak and fluctuating sense of self, meaning a lot of sufferers end up in a very unhealthy cycle of using other people's validation as a substitute for a concrete self-image. This renders the world very frightening and stressful because your conception of yourself is completely out of your hands. Everyone you meet becomes the inscrutable arbiter of your own self-worth, whether they have consented to that or not (which further makes you feel like a monster) and they become frightening to you.
Every social interaction is tinged with knife-edge tension because at any minute a change in tone, body language or facial expression can send you into a pit of depression or blast you full in the face with the skin-searing chillblast of panic.
At the end, when all those fears about himself end up being confirmed and he is condemned for them, it felt weirdly affirming. I turned to my girlfriend and said "that, that's what it feels like" through tears and she said "I've always hated you and you're an objectively bad person."
Wait what your gf said that to you??
Hah, no it was a dumb punchline.
A piece of media that had this effect on me, to the point where I actively refuse to ever watch it again, is surprisingly an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation called "Hollow Pursuits". It focuses on a lower-ranked guy on the starship Enterprise who's an anxious mess and not very good at his space job, and while everyone downplays his fears and worries over being inadequate to his face, behind his back they gripe and belittle him for his incompetence, even calling him names.
The slow insidious creeping horror that everything you do is below par despite your best efforts and that everyone around you who has their shit together is judging you for it where you can't hear is my worst fear made manifest. It terrifies me to think of, the thought that what you do is never good enough. It may not be a traditional piece of social anxiety horror, but that one random Star Trek episode fits the bill for me personally.
Barclay?
I legit got mad at that episode because he got mocked for being socially inept. And I really like how Guinan explained to Geordi how to be his friend.
Hey, I follow your RUclips channel, didn't expect to see you here.
huge trekkie myself, so I immediately recognized this (and yes, this is our first introduction to the character of Reg Barclay). i have a few points and this being about star trek, i'm bound to ramble, but bear with me if you can
1. totally agree with you that the majority of this episode is almost repulsive, because trek is kinda sorta about an utopian future in which humanity has grown beyond our base and petty selves, especially if you're talking about the crew of the flagship of the federation. and we've come to really care about all these characters, to trust them to be good in almost all situations and to always look out for and look after their fellow crewmen. to see them be such pos to someone who is clearly struggling was vile. the only moment this actually starts to change is when picard goes 'this is NOT the way - we don't discard our own just because they're weird or late or anxious - we freaking help them.' without this intervention from the figure with the most authority (by far), i fear that, taken to its logical conclusion, this would become something more like 'all my friends hate me' and less star trek
2. this whole episode is one of the times that the toxic culture of starfleet is most readily apparent. it's clear from many episodes that almost every crew member overworks themselves, and is expect to be nothing but excellent 110% of the time. because it's not really that kind of show, we never really explore the "dark side" of starfleet too much (at least in TNG) and these moments are used much more for comedic relief ("we need stronger coffee" or whatever) than taken seriously. but in the barclay episode, we see that not only can starfleet make you overwork and be perfect. but it also lends itself to be the perfect bullying grounds for anyone that falls short of that. (in a more realistic show, this would have surely resulted in many an unaliving). i haven't seen all of new trek, so i'm not sure if this gets addressed in another show, but it always broke my willing suspesion of disbelief a lil bit (on the other hand, TNG is my comfort show, so i'm glad it didn't get all dark and black mirror like!)
3. it should be noted that reg barclay becomes a recurring character after this episode and actually has a pretty important role in star trek voyager. i have mixed feelings about his character arc in general. on one hand, the writers try to show "improvements" on both sides - reg's colleagues become more understanding and compassionate AND reg becomes a little less socially anxious and he's late less often. i get what the writers were going for and i fully believe they wanted this to be a great, happy ending for reg. but it always annoyed me that, at the end of the day, he often seems more tolerated than actually accepted and that, were it not for his great intelligence, even that might not have happened. there's also the "both sides"ism aspect of the whole arc that is a bit icky to me. however, reg is portrayed as someone who finds happiness and great meaning in his job and has a few good relationships in his life...
@@b4rbarbar Realm Of Fear with Reg is one of my favorite episodes of the show precisely because instead of being a bunch of gossiping assholes the main cast actually try to help this guy work through his issues in a healthy and supportive manner. Spot-on analysis though, enjoyed reading.
The Black Mirror episode “Shut up and Dance” is a great example of this kind of social terror, it’s so painful to watch - but the ending takes it to a whole other level of horror.
If you like this kind of thing, it’s a must watch.
Fantastic episode, definitely agree on the ending - huge "oh fuck" moment.
Hated in the Nation is also probably adjacent to the topic (social media specific) but is a weaker episode generally.
The whole series is social terror tbh. Nosedive is the life of everyone trying to start an online project.
That episode almost made me stop watching Black Mirror. Like, I knew a twist was coming but I wasn't expecting it to be so revolting.
That episode is what got me really into Radiohead a couple years back, as well as the first Black Mirror episode I ever watched. It was wild and I loved it and I still think about it a lot 🫡🫡🫡
Loved that episode. The ending? ?? Wow chills and I love the radiohead song playing as his mom cries KIDS, Kenny???damn I'm gonna re-watch
Shout-out to all the socially anxious horror fans that want to watch this personal attack, but are currently at work
Edit: Just finished watching the video, and this genuinely made me have at least three existencial crises. These are some fire recommendations. Also I'll be sending you my psychiatrist's check soon, Mr. Eyepatch Wolf.
**screaming**
I can't work in an office because of my social anxiety
Ok
Me listening at work 👂😬
Love your pfp!
Somehow my anxiety inoculates me from the thing that stops people from getting up during a fire alarm. The alarm went off once when I was in a movie theater and I was up out of my seat, down the stairs, at the door and when I turned to make sure my friends were with me no one else in the entire theater had moved. I felt like a crazy person who was over reacting, but I would rather over react than die in a fire. That same thing has happened to me multiple times with fire drills, tornado warnings, and active shooter lockdowns (I'm American). It is almost always a false alarm, and I usually do feel a bit silly and embarrassed, but not enough that I don't still follow the protocols. I'm convinced that the one time it's real I will be glad I've trained myself to automatically follow safety protocol and know exactly what to do without hesitating
As someone with social anxiety myself, I find it incredibly brave that you show our face on the internet and tell such personal stories. Great vid as always! 💙
That story you told at the end of the video made me feel so fucking hollow, and I never understood why. There's been a debate about a recent Dr Who episode, '73 Yards', and I never understood why it scared me so much. It scared me the exact same way your story did. This video helped it make sense. Thank you
I had a weird unsettled feeling for the whole episode and I couldn't really put my finger on exactly what scared me. I figured it was something to do with fear of the unknown - not knowing who the woman is, or what she said to make everyone leave Ruby forever, or why she's always exactly 73 yards away. The camera helps a lot by only ever showing her the way Ruby would've seen her: as a distant figure, unable to clearly see the close-up detail, and unable to hear her.
While a different style of horror, I felt there were some similarities with Midnight. One could argue that the way fear, paranoia and hate can escalate in a group of pretty average people is more terrifying than the alien itself.
I sure am happy that my particular neurodivergence results in such stark social obliviousness that people literally have to tell me to my face they don't like me for me to notice!
I mean, to be fair, there is _nothing_ quite so terrifying as someone you are quite sure you've never seen before walking up to you with a smile, calling you by your name and acting like you're supposed to be friends, but that is much less common.
Unfortunately, at this point, I just perceive everyone, wether they tell me or not, to not like me: maybe not all the time, but definitely some of the time... Hate my flavour of autism...
For me, it just results in constant paranoia. I feel like a blind person lost in a jungle when I socialize.
I know a guy with face blindness who regularly performs on stage and when people come up to him he never knows if they are strangers or not.
He's a very extroverted social person. I like to image it's because in his world, strangers act like friends all the time.
Probably a more common experience for employees with name tags
@@sindrevangenrobberstad2889 Why yes, working retail _is_ terrifying. How'd you guess?
I'm just sad I can't like your video 100 times. Thanks a lot for voicing such deep and rarely discussed feelings so well.
I was so worried for a moment when you mentioned Milgrim Electric Shock test and Stanford Prison Experiment. I still hear people today quote them as if they had any kind of validity.
Okay good. I was not the only one.
I mean, Milgram was kind of right. Actually, he was almost entirely right, and the line and fire experiments prove it. There were only two problems with his experiment, but they were enough to sink it despite the whole "being almost entirely right" thing. The first was that he specifically made it about whether or not someone would agree to what they thought was murder based on nothing at all but an authority figure, and the second was that he had the genius idea to tamper with the results. So in the end the idea he was espousing was overall correct, but the way he went about trying to prove it was wrong. It's like the "you did the math wrong but got the right answer" scenario, except he also cheated in addition to doing the math wrong.
The threat of someone mailing you own house key is terrifying
I think that was the scariest thing of all to me. Not just the betrayal, but the sense of violation of people who you don't know and who might want to harm you having access to the place you should feel most safe
I can see a skit saying, "Oh hey thanks, I thought I lost this" lmao
@letsreadtextbook1687 well, it has been said that horror is just comedy without the punchline.
Something I adore about your channel is just how obvious it is that you love everything that you talk about. I feel like the media criticism culture on RUclips, though definitely important, is becoming so over saturated and black and white that sometimes it can be hard to remember that genuinely great media is still being made every day
As a trans person, this really resonates with me. I am unable to medically transition yet and my dysphoria is a huge part of my social anxiety and really adds to that fear of being perceived. It’s nice to have a way to verbalize and explain it through this. This is my favorite video essay on RUclips
ive been trying to get my life together for a while now. i dont have a job, i dont have any hobbies, i dont have any friends irl, and most of my days are spent in my bedroom playing games and occasionally checking a job search website. the segment about Cursed really spoke to me because of this. im even more isolated than Ash. i barely speak to the people i live with. if i dont start trying to live life properly, im going to die with nobody to remember me. this video was a wake up call for me. thank you
you've got this! if you take one step at a time, before you know it, it will become easier to actually live and socialise. i've been there, i socially isolated myself for years, stayed inside my room, watching youtube videos, playing video games and smoking my life away.
for me the weed made it so much worse because i'm generally quite extroverted. in fact before the weed, i was VERY extroverted, i truly gained energy from talking to others, i was confident, charismatic and generally liked. but after the years hidden in my room, where i got so bad that i couldn't stand the thought of being perceived and having to engage in regular conversation with near anybody and talking to others no longer gave me energy but drained me terribly, i became somebody else, somebody i did not recognise, and it took a long time to get to some kind of normal.
even then, i am now a different person. the social anxiety is always there sitting in the background. the main difference is now i just deal with it, i force myself to speak in the usual conversations most would find awkward, whereas i used to avoid them completely if i could, i even speak to complete strangers if i see they are trying to connect (got so much more of this when i got dogs lol, everyone wants to chat to the dog owner and comment on the dog XD even more so in my area as there is a dog owner every second house haha) i call friends and family more now just to have regular conversation. i basically had to retrain myself on how to hold a conversation again without curling in on myself mentally, and thinking all the worst, paranoid thoughts like 'they dont find you funny, apologise.' 'you did that wrong, apologise' 'you're acting weird, apologise'. i had to relearn social cues and actually realised i think i have always kind of sucked at them, me - 'the girl who always thought guys were flirting with her because they smiled or looked at me for one second two long' or said 'hey' CRINGE lol. i had to relearn not to care what other people thought, to speak my mind even if nobody else agrees, i had to be okay with cringing at myself and letting that go.... letting the fear and anxiety that i was not the perfect person that i wanted to be go....
as i mentioned earlier, this is still something that i struggle with but it has gotten so much easier now that i've accepted that i am partly to blame, i might be predisposed to mental health conditions or maybe i just sent myself looney in isolation (there's a reason isolation for long periods of time is considered cruel and unusual), but when i say i am partly to blame i mean that, for me, at first i loved being locked up in my room, being able to do what i wanted when i wanted, until i no longer wanted that and realised that it was not so easy to drift back in to normal life like nothing had happened, like i hadnt spent years forgetting what that normal life entailed.
like i hadnt spent years ignoring people, painting a picture of who i was choosing to be, gluing myself to a chair or a bed where i basically rot away muscle mass and turned into a fat, weak, semi-disabled mess. weak because i was barely moving, not wanting to make a sound besides the sound of keyboard clacking and position changes on the bed which shifted the house and reminded the people i lived with that indeed there was still a live person upstairs, one who only came down when she believed nobody was home or awake, only to prepare some food or grab some toilet paper before retreating back to the pigsty i called my room. the person who dreaded having to tell people how my day went because my day was barely a day, i hadn't even seen sunlight, my blind was drawn and window closed, in fact i hadn't left the house in a month. so instead of admitting i was a loser, it was easier to not answer phone calls or messages for weeks or even longer. it was easier to keep doing what i 'wanted' to. no, it was easier living in my fantasy world, where i could indulge in media that gave me that temporary dopamine rush, where i could pretend and imagine. it took me years to mostly recognise what i had done, to actually acknowledge it. tbh, i'm still figuring out who i have become but i will continue to work on it.
and i guess the point of all i'm saying is that, if you want to work on yourself, you have to start now. you don't want to have to do all the work that i have done, after realising and accepting, i'm a fucking mess or maybe you are already at that point in your life, and if that's the case, shall you continue until you are less than a husk of yourself?? starting small with maybe just asking a roommate how their day was, what they're eating, movie suggestion etc. it might feel super awkward at first but just keep doing it. go out for a walk, say hello to a stranger in line at the grocery or petrol station, exercise (could be a 5 min walk at first, try and increase the time and get sunlight at least 30 mins a day as vitamin d deficiency can lead to depression amongst other things) volunteer, walk a family members dog, do you have any elder family members? offer them help of some sort. plan a board game night with roommate or family member, movie night with roommate. do you like card games? you could join a card game tournament of your liking, could try dnd. bbq with roommates. there's countless things you could do but you have to start breaking down those walls that are keeping you inside, if it's depression then please if it's available to you get help through therapy or medication.
the grass IS greener on the other side. somethings might seem boring and not worth your while but please remember you've wired yourself to expect instant gratification ie. dopamine receptors are out of whack, from playing video games and if you do, watching videos, tik tok etc (just assuming about the vids but that was def the case with me) life isn't always going to get results if you put in the work like a video game, life is boring sometimes, work sucks, people aren't the greatest but neither are we. it's all worth it in the end. good luck
Go through with it, you have my support
I will come back in 2 years. Hope you're true to your word
@@twiggychicky9549dude that was awesome. It hit me so hard. I’m there right now. I can’t go outside, I’m isolating myself, I’m alone. I know I can be good in most social situations but I can never get past the boundary of actually making a friend. I just keep thinking “what’s the point, we’ll just talk for a bit then I’ll never see them again.” I just keep thinking that I’m better off alone
Now that I think about it. While John’s video was really awesome, I don’t have the precise type of social anxiety that most people have. I’m fine talking to strangers, I’ll never see them again, I’m great at talking to coworkers because it’s professional and the expectations are well set, I love doing presentations in front of groups of people. I just suck at making any type of deeper connection. I don’t get invited places, I’m the guy everyone forgets about when he’s not in the room. I could disappear and nothing would change. I’m just a placeholder. I could be dying and I’d prefer not to have a funeral so that no one has to be sad, most people would be better off just not remembering I exist. I’m at the point where I feel like there isn’t a point. People like me well enough, but I’m nobody’s favourite person. I doubt I’d make anyone’s top 5. I’m not narcissistic enough to think this is anyone’s fault except my own. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough, maybe I’m not likeable enough, maybe I’m just…
I kinda get you
You tell me where this motherless "Social Anxiety" fella, who keeps making people unhappy, lives, and I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
h̷̢̨̡̢̭̮̤̹̠̝͔̖̹̯̝̆͗̆̐̒̔͗̆͜ͅe̷̛̤̟͈̜̲͍̽̎̈́͛͗̿́͆͑͒̾̔̊͘'̷͙̻͆̏̀̍̈͋̏͛̋̽̏̏̃̈͠s̵̼͔͓̪̣͔͉̰͚̝͍̳͉̤̟̟̃͌̀̾̽͆͊͂͋̂͊̆͐̕͝ ̸̞̞̒͗̅̈́͛̎̓͊͠ȉ̷̢̛̛̥̝͙̀͗̅͒͐́͂̎͋͒̚ň̴̦̻̪͕̠̫̝̜̻͋s̸̢̧̨̛̤͕̼̠͕̟͖̮̲̳̗͔̹͚͆̆̔̿̒̂̓̈̅̃͘͝͝͠͠i̶͇̗͎͗̓̂̾̉̕d̵̡͉̣̠̲̹̙̪͓͍͖̻̜͊̋̊̅̑̈́̈́͜͝ẽ̴̢͍̱͙̼̼̱͉̰̭̞̲̜̯͈͔̿̀̓̒̓͛͗̃͜͠ ̷͚̫̞̊̂̓̈́͛̔̉͗y̴̨̡̛̟̻̙̻̝̣̬͖̫̾ͅo̶̧͓͙̝͖̞̦͓̓̀̋̈͊͆̿́̋̎̄͜ų̵̨̻͖̗̹̳͇̗͇̊̒̿̌̏́͊̊̈́͜
@morganasux I love how I could still read this and STILL felt like a thing I wasn't supposed to read, making the horror of the video stronger
@@morguesux 😳
you're gonna be his mom????
@@Tp_hedgelinghog there are two kinds of internet user, those who are like @Tp_hedgelinghog and those who are like @concept8192
Hearing you bring up “The Lottery” is pretty funny because I’ve had it taught to me twice, once in middle school and once in high school, so I imagine it has to be pretty common in American schools and that a lot of people here have probably already heard of it. Didn’t know about her other stuff though.
I studied it at high school here in Aus, too. Taught it TERRIBLY, though. I was left thinking it was a cynical assertion that people suck and will do cruel things to others for no reason, so I hated it at the time. This video really made me appreciate that there was a reason, one very grounded in reality despite the premise.
Nothing worse than being an outcast and finding a group of fellow outcasts who all bond over things you relate to and making a space for people like you to exist.
And then they cast you out.
Because you were too them for them.
The segment at 33:45 makes me think that this is how mass hysteria starts. One person does something weird, others join in bc it looks fun, then others completely outside the group join in bc they think that since everyone is doing the weird thing, therefore it's normal, and then it escalates from there.
I remember watching one of those prank videos one day where they hired actors to sit in places like restaurants and when someone walked in after a while the actors stopped everything they were doing and just... stared at the victim. No jumpscares, no monster masks, no flickering lights, just a bunch of strangers staring at you in silence. It feels like Sartre scripted that.
I legit walked to my car after seeing Beau is Afraid and cried because I don't think I'd ever felt more understood by a film. This movie is something special to me. I'm just glad it existed. Who knows if I'll ever see it again though.