Pastors Counseling Domestic Violence Victims

What should pastors do when someone comes and says they are a victim of physical or emotional abuse? Pastor Neil Schori, of the Edge Church in Aurora, Illinois, tells how he changed his approach to ministering to abuse victims, after one of his church members came to him to tell him about her fears about her husband. The woman, Stacy Peterson, disappeared 2 months later and was never seen again. Pastor Schori became a key witness in a murder trial against her husband, police officer Drew Peterson. Drew was convicted. Pastor Schori has a calling to train other pastors and church leaders to handle domestic violence (DV) better.
In this powerful video, you'll hear Pastor Schori talk about...
♦️ The story of Stacy and Drew Peterson - and the murder trial where Neil was a key witness. (To hear a longer version of this, watch Pastor Schori's sermon • Hope in Dry Ground-The... .)
♦️ How he found expert advice from DV awareness advocate Susan Murphy-Milano, and realized his masters degree in Counseling in seminary hadn't trained him sufficiently.
♦️ 10:30 - 5 responsibilities of pastors and other church leaders
♦️12:15 - 3 Important Ways You Can Help Victims
♦️ 16:20 - Help victims find their voice and have an opportunity to share their story with safe people. And help them legally document their story for use as future evidence if necessary.
♦️17:20 - Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (the victim writing their story, then telling it on video, along with a notarized document) www.documenttheabuse.com
♦️20:30 - Men who are victims of abuse tend to go underground. Schori says about emotional abuse: "Violence to the soul is at least a damaging as physical violence." Don't share with just anyone.
♦️ 24:30 - Making changes to church policy and the official church position on divorce.
♦️ 26:11 - Biblical and theological reasoning for allowing divorce for abuse. PLUS recommended books and DV curriculum for churches at 31:17.
♦️ 30:25 - How Pastor Schori does staff and volunteer training on the topic of abuse.
♦️ 35:30 - DV training is mandatory for hair stylists and bar tenders. Why shouldn't it be for pastors!
♦️ 36:15 - Nearly half of divorces the the U.S. are for very serious reasons.
♦️ 37:40 - "There are women killed every day because someone told them to stay." Gray divorcees are often abuse victims who were shamed into staying "for the kids" when in reality, we now know that kids suffer in these high-conflict homes.
♦️ 37:55 - In the very high-conflict homes, it's better for the children if their parents divorce than stay married. And indeed research shows that the worse the marriage the better divorce is for kids. TWO GRAPHS.
♦️ 38:45 - Nearly 8 in 10 kids of divorce turn out fine with no long-term serious emotional, psychological or social problems. 39:24 - Children in high-discord homes often wish their parents would divorce.
♦️ 40:15 - Luke 13 tells us about the heart of Jesus for those in pain.
♦️ 42:00 - Why divorce in cases of DV saves lives: no-fault divorce lowered the suicide rate, the domestic violence rate, and the homicide rate. To avoid the topic of divorce is to endanger people's lives.
♦️ 43:20 - Don't send people back. Don't shame them for wanting to go. Support their wishes.
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ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education, and she regularly gives interviews on podcasts, blogs, and radio programs on the topic of Christianity and divorce.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the 40% of divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future.
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What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
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