It was not directed at just singles. Married people were also told oral sex was wrong. I imagine males in the church raised enough stink that the ban on oral sex was reversed.
Part of my thinks the initial thought was, "Oh haha, now men dont have to please their wives, lol!" "Wait... that means our wives can't please us... take it back"
Its a cult... the first thought... is exercising power, control, influence. Its that simple. Thats always the first thought of a cult. Thats it. Period.
As a female ex-mormon this made me laugh so much. And having any sort of leader make policies on other people's sex lives is WEIRD!!! Mormons are WEIRD!
This holds true for "purity" and same-sex pairings. Other people trying to impart control on other people's lives based on some old book and their interpretation of it should cease.
I clearly remember this happening and feeling completely blindsided 😮😳 by the question at my temple recommend interview. Lots of whispering and anger went on amongst ward members. Just as suddenly as the question had appeared, it was gone. But I still feel the shock I felt when I sat there in my interview 40+ years ago.
It hurts to shine light into this dark place of coercive control and anguish for good people, but its healthyier to hurt this way, than keeping it secret.
When I was getting ready for my mission my papers were constantly delayed because I couldn’t go more than a month without masturbation. People would always ask me why I hadn’t left yet and if I ever was going to go. I sat in a meeting with my bishop and my stake president and they invited my mom and dad to also sit in. The stake president laid it out for them, and my mom burst into tears. I sat there wishing a hole would open up and swallow me completely. Eventually I made it 6 weeks or something and they allowed me to go. It was such a taboo subject and I never talked about it and I wondered about how other guys made it through the process?
Why did you tell anyone about your struggles in the first place? I got saved in my bedroom all by myself. So when I began visiting churches and joining churches I never felt any pastor had that kind of authority over me, that I had to tell him all my struggles and failings. I didn't go to confession wen I was a Catholic. Just once for my First Holy Communion when I was 7. My conclusions about masturbation after 47 years? Using your sexual energy by directing it away from lust is an incredibly positive use of that energy and you should do that as much as possible. The word "sublimate" comes from the word “sublime." Historically and philosophically, sublime refers to a quality of greatness or grandeur that goes beyond all bounds of human experience, often tied to the aesthetic, spiritual, or moral realms. When discussing sexual energy, the term “to make sublime” suggests a transformation or elevation of this primal force into something higher, more refined, or spiritually profound. That's a pretty great target to aim at! But I'm gonna tell you what no one else who ever talks about "sublimation" ever does: You won't ever be able to succeed. But that's O.K. No one ever does. The point is, without our sexual energy we wouldn't be the masculine creators and maintainers of our societies! And without our redirecting that energy towards non-sexual activities and projects like graduating from school, learning a trade, building a business, starting and raising a family, we, all of us, would be no distention different than the herbivore men of Japan and the miserable, videogame playing, porn obsessed Gen-Zers our society is awash in today!
@@terrifictomm As a young Mormon, especially around the puberty age, you are taught that sexual sin is a sin just under murder in severity. I remember being specifically taught "that taking a life is the most serious sin and its opposite, giving life, or the procreative powers and associated sins are just as serious". Then they are taught that masterbation is a serious sexual sin. Now think about how that messes up a teenage brain, when they start to figure out what sexuality is all about and are curious and start to explore thier own bodies. That if they ever masturbate they are commiting a sin next to murder. The guilt they feel for having natural urges. Mormon bishops require the youth to meet with them twice yearly, starting at age 12, and will ask probing question about possible sexual sin. Many times young Mormons hear about masturbation the first time from thier religious leaders. Some mormon parent won't talk to thier kids about sex leaving it to the Mormon church and bishops and school districts that teach abstinence only. There is a exmormon movement trying to stop bishops from having one on one meetings with the youth, because of cases of bishops sexually grooming young kids. Or at a minimum it normalizes an adult authority figure talking to kids, alone, about sex, leaving them vulnerable to predators to do the same. Over all it's a big problem and can cause the youth to have issues with self hate, shame and sexual disfunction for many years.
I was raised in a mix faith household with my dad leaving the church because of the blow job letter. That disgust didn't translate into protecting me for the grossness.
The miracle of forgiveness has reference to oral or a**l sex being wrong even when married. I remember questioning why it would reference married couples since it should be up to them. I was basically told sex is for procreation and any "variation" is immoral.
Yes! I remember telling my mom. 'so not only am I not supposed to have sex but when I finally am allowed to, they're gonna tell me how to do it?!' 😅 she said I was being so disrespectful. 😅😂😂
I know women that used this to withhold sex from their husbands because they were not trying to have a baby. Also used for zero sex after menopause. With that argument-Please bring back polygamy, LOL!!
I've known many a mormon. My mom used to host them everyweek. I met many elders this way. They are decent people, though strange. There were these two really cool guys, we played basletball regularly, the one was a beast on the court. I am not religious, i do find learning about religion fasinating, and i liked that i could challenge them with hard questions and they would do there best to answer. All that being said if a mormOn ever knocks on my door, i will feed them and offer them something to drink. These guys pay for there own mission out of there own pockets and i respect the fact that the believe so hard that they'll volenteer and fund a mission to spread something they feel is worth it. They may be odd balls but most of them are good people, who are far from home, and a lot of people are mean to for no reason.
Many of the missionaries don’t have much of a choice in going on a mission. It’s that or disconnected from their family for the rest of their lives, or the mormon women won’t even consider dating them if they don’t go. Marrying outside the religion is about as taboo as it is for Jews.
Your chance of getting a depressed Mormon wife go waaay down if you do not do mission. If you go and abuse yourself for 2 years then you have your choices. You turn into a stud upon return. Still a bad deal dealing with Mormonism and their antidepressant loving self-abusing dogma.
As far as I have been studying religion, faith systems, I realized that they are victims of their family's beliefs and the religious institution. I'm still a ( converted)member of the Mormon Church, and I always refused to read or listen about what exmormons had to say, because the mindset of the institution is so protected. Now I feel like a fish out the water and nobody wants to help me. People at the church just ignore me because I have been asking questions.
@@EverythingPlus.101 you just need to realize that you do not need the Mormons or any other garbage. You can stand on your own and figure out life on your own. I have more faith in any individual than I would ever have to any institution.
@@EverythingPlus.101 even if you were raised in the church and ask questions they ignore. They hate good critical questions because their teachings are lies and they have much to hide. Ask anyone on here for answers and you’ll get the truth. It may not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
I'm glad you omitted the super hilarious comment of gripping Tighter and Tighter when talking about masturbation. I laughed out loud during that part in the episode.
I also read somewhere a while ago that the second largest buyer of mormon underwear is the gay p*rn industry. With mormon boys being the catholic school girls of gay p*rn.
Repetition, fear, constant distractions like slave labor so you never get a chance to question. If you do question then it is H E double hockey sticks for you gosh darn it😂
That song is a reference to Nephi prophesying about Abraham's seed being put in the Gentiles, swallowing up filthy waters, and grafting a smooth olive branch. The only thing that was hard was Nephi's brethrens' hearts. Please don't demean our Holy Scriptures with innuendo. I have spaken.
@@jeffsaxton716 then all I can go by is the words of Nephi. The only thing that should be in mouths is books proceeding forth. Not iron rods proceeding in repeatedly.
Doesn’t matter what’s in the church handbook of instructions if you challenge someone who’s in leadership and tell them that not in the handbook they they say “well I feel inspired to do it my way”
Did you listen to the short? It was instituted then quickly removed, were you married during 1981 and have a temple recommend interview during the short time it was policy? My parents definitely did not teach anything about it to me but then again they never taught me anything about sex. If the word sex was even mentioned they got embarrassed and red in the face.
I grew up Mormon too and was specifically asked in a bishops interview at 13 if I masturbated or had oral sex. I didn’t even fully understand those things. The bishop explained them to me. This was in 2007 I refused to do bishop interviews from then on because I didn’t feel comfortable. Never did baptisms for the dead as a teenager
I also had this question asked years ago during my reccomend interview, I was in shock. I’m so glad this is being brought up because when I tell people they think I was crazy and it didn’t happen. OHHH yes it sure did happen. It still makes me cringe!
Nobody should tell you what to do or not to do. Especially in the privacy of your own home. This cult does a lousy job playing the Holy Spirit. All you need is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Through prayer, praise, asking him to forgive you when you sin. Thankfulness and making your requests known to God in the privacy of your own mind and thoughts. You don't even have to go to a temple building or cathedral. Because Jesus Christ says we are the church, if you turn to him and confess your sins. You will be forgiven. He wants to speak to you, through his word of course. Follow Jesus and nobody else.❤ Walk the walk. That means live your life with the Holy Spirit within you. Born Again by asking for God's Spirit to direct you in all things. Read the New Testament. NOT the LDS Bible.
I was raised by overly controlling LDS parents. I have never heard about this letter and was never questioned about masturbation, good thing cause I had no idea what it was. Was always told you never touch yourself. I had no clue as to what that meant. Sex was never discussed. My parents always treated us as children even as adults, (not so much my brothers) we were NEVER given “the talk” I was given more info from my girl friends Mom’s than either one of my parents. As I became an older teen I remember clearly my dad saying “when you get married what you do in your bedroom behind closed doors is only you and your husband’s business.” I now think he was most likely referring to this letter. I think the whole oral sex was in reference to people unmarried…… ( oral sex shouldn’t happen if you’re not married, maybe people didn’t consider it to be sex…..maybe clarification was needed?) because what you do with your spouse is is your own business and both of you should be completely comfortable with it and no one should be asking bedroom questions to married couples. Oral sex is a sexual act and any sexual act creates a bond or desire for that person or act and if it is with your spouse your bond is made stronger but if it is “alone” or with a partner your not married to you will create unhealthy bonds and may not be able to have intimacy with your spouse later in life. (Yes I studied psychology and medicine) never underestimate addiction. Why marry someone who can’t have the best experience with you? No one wants a partner that is happy to masturbate alone instead of having a sexual experience with their chosen spouse. I wouldn’t want a partner that came with the need for years of therapy. Was this letter misconstrued? Why aren’t these questions answered more openly? Why does sex or intercourse come with such shame??? Why does it have to be so ugly? I have certainly been more open with my children. I never wanted them to feel stupid about the topic, or misguided by friends as they grew up so no topic was taboo. I wanted them to be able to make good choices for themselves give children the info they need as they grow. Intensely religious people have a tendency to withhold, or hide information about sex from their children. I never wanted my kids ignorant on the subject. I never wanted them to be easily manipulated or to be a victim. When you withhold information or are not clear on the subject or make the subject so taboo you create an unhealthy situation. My parents were both a product of parents who were extremely tight lipped on the subject, and I’m certain they are exactly how their parents were but I know that how I raised my children is light years better than how I was raised. It takes generations to undo wrong, ignorant, and stupid things. I will never be judgmental of others, but there are better ways to approach sex than the way my parents did. They just never taught us anything. That’s backwards and never helps anyone. Talk to your kids about sex before someone else does, including a bishop! If they have no idea what it’s all about how would they know what an inappropriate question or situation is? Am I wrong? I am certainly open to more information.
So masturbation is not in the handbook, they don't ask about it or consider it not obeying the law of chastity anymore? I could have been hammering myself for the past 14 years and been good to go? Damnit! 😂
This is so cringe worthy! These dudes want TOTAL control of their members! No oral sex! Does that apply to cunninglingus also? Not content to ban masturbation, they try to ban oral sex also! Why not simplify things and ban SEX altogether?! LOL 😝 So cringy! 🤯
Hahah I’m an active member (attack me if you want exmos) but this is a funny story lol. I’d be on the same page if the Prophet brought something up like that lol. 😂😂😂
I'm so glad to have been an active member outside Utah, in 1 of the gay-friendliest cities in North America and, you guess it, outside the United States, so I dealt with none of these sheninigans.
So if the church changes or updates it’s policies, you’re not OK with that. But if the church doesn’t change or update its policies you’re also not OK with that. So which one is it?
The church claims to have the perfect unerring law of a God who claims to be "the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow." Changes to policy are not consistent with thesr claims.
This actually makes me mad. On the mission 2012-14, masturbation was a HUGE topic. There was a mission wide training on it. Our mission president compared masturbation to breaking your leg. If you break your leg, it will hinder the work. Apparently masturbation hinders the work similarly. Anyway, "break your leg" became code for self pleasure in the mission. So now you're telling me it was REMOVED from the official handbook 2 years before I even left on my mission?!
I remember it being announced in Relief Society. A group of us in the back started giggling. We all agreed, we were all going to lie if asked! Stupid me, we thought!
Jehovah’s Witnesses have a similar teaching, and my wife got sucked into their BS for a short time back in the early 2000s shortly after we’d gotten married. She tried to tell me how oral was forbidden by them and I said well honey, luckily for you I’m an atheist and don’t give a damn what they say. The only form of heaven I need is to be with you.
I was in a young married ward, in Utah, early 2000s. Our Bishop always liked to talk about intimacy...he shared a story about a man cheating on his wife. I'm not sure where he got the story. In the story, as they discussed his sin, the man told him (it was a higher up church person that he was counseling with) and the man stated that what he did wasn't that bad... it was only oral. She was his hairdresser and she gave him a blow. In response, this high up leader said, oh, that is worse... I remember thinking, wait, what? Why is that worse? Risking pregnancy, and the possibility of bringing kids into this, would be worse, imo. He was teaching that oral was perverted. I really wish I remembered who he said the higher up person was, that said it was worse. I want to say it was in an ensign lol but I cannot imagine a story like that would be in church magazine...so it probably wasn't?
🤔 Anyone here read the miracle of forgiveness? Is that story possibly in there?? I also just remembered my old bishop's name and found him on Facebook 🫣 and I seriously want to ask him if he remembers that story...but it's so awkward 😅...I don't think I can. And who knows if he would remember it? He's about 60 now? and he told that story about 20+ years ago.
Ol' dirty bishop gets off on having that discussion with children. The more things change the more they stay the same. Just a continuation of Joe Smith's misadventures with children
I remember that letter! Mainly because that was how I learned of the existence of something called "oral s*x". 😮😂 Had to have it explained to me, because I had no idea what they were talking about. Then I was just like, "People do what? Ewww Gross!!" Jump forward 4 decades: I learn from my own children of the existence of something called "asexuality". Again, 😮 and this time also 😊. My whole life starts to make a little more sense. You would think the church might be all over that one, but nope. Crickets. Lol
Thats disgusting that they even had to say anything on that, then decided they are superior enough to say, yeah, go ahead. Why would you stay in a church where church leaders make moral "rules." God made our rules and they're already established.
Isn’t birth control one of those issues,too? I remember in the 70s, I believe, reading in The Ensign, a Q& A by a general authority who said the use of birth control was not forbidden. It was up to the couple to prayerfully decide when to have their children. I, as a young adult convert, who knew I didn’t want a ton of kids, was relieved at this. I was still baffled why very young couples would keep popping out kids. The use of birth control wasn’t doctrine it was a perpetuated belief.
“The only true church on the face of the earth.” But they can’t be consistent in their doctrines. Just another reason I left to serve Jesus and not a false institution claiming they represent him, Pharisaical organization of man.
This is just like the tactics of the Catholic faith. They are another cult. Plenary indulgences were taught to my mother. They teach that you can reduce the time you spend in Purgatory (a temporary Hell) if you buy Plenary Indulgences (i.e., give money to the church). In the 1960s this practice was abandoned, but it was never officially announced that it was no longer true. It was just no longer taught. So, the older generation still believed in it, and continued to give away money that they could ill afford to lose.
Between married couple or singles? I would think it wouldn’t be allowed between single people, but married folks could do whatever. Unless you’re like the hole in the sheet people.
Of course, y'all have your agency and can do religion or not do religion any way you wish. I never understood the obsession people who leave the church have and maintain long afterward.
Yes. This was actually what brought about the Word of Wisdom. The women would clean up after the bad tobacco habits of the men after their meetings and the brethren finally decided that they needed better habits and brought it to God in prayer. They were then given many life and health practices to better themselves.
Look! No one has authority over your life. No one is your God. Especially in a structure. God is all good and bad. It’s up to you to live the experiences you wish. God is only love and acceptance. If you want to live in fear, that’s your choice not Gods.
Why do we think the brethren have all the answers? We nit pick and expect perfection from them and don’t give them the same grace we want. If they struggle and make mistakes that doesnt make them any less who the Lord called to their responsibility. This is a church cultural issue. The best thing to do is stay in the church express your concerns and trust in the Lord and his all knowing timeframe. The scriptures all full of the human frail weakness and sin of former and ancient Prophets. The Saviors Atonement cover all suffering in this life. It will all work out. I can speak from experience. Abuse and suffering have been my cross to bear in this life. My non member step father abuse me and my siblings. The healing began when I joined Christ church 46 years ago. When I was born again and entered the cleansing waters of baptism. Only the Savior Atonement can change us, heal Us and make us new creatures. Its been a long journey, alot of work, pain and hurt . But im in the best place mentally and spiritually ive ever Been in. I love the Savior. My favorite scriptures are Mathhew 11:28-30, Helaman 5:12 and 2 Nephi 31:15-16.
So so sick of the “human frailties” argument anytime there is wrong doing. Then stop with the nonsense that these men speak for God because after a quick glance at history it’s obviously not true. Anyone who claims to speak for god should not be a product of their time.
The issue is that they claim to speak for the lord, so If they are making mistakes, is it the lord making mistakes? History shows that what prophets have said can be changed and disavowed. So why should we trust everything a current prophet says? I don't need to waste energy worrying about any of that anymore.
A Bishop could have, in my first interview as a teenager at age 12, described the rules around chastity and then asked me if I had many any choices outside of the rules. Instead, they ask specific questions about behaviors that are considered "wrong". That approach feels like voyeurism to me, it's readily interpreted as something perverted and inappropriate, because it is perverted and inappropriate.
After i lost my virginity while in the process of doing my papers. I couldnt get myself to stop having sex. Plus i had a bad porn addiction to top it all off
I have been married almost 35 years. I have never had a Bishop question me on any sexual practices within my marriage. You make it sound like bishops are counseling their married people on what appropriate and not. That just doesn’t happen you’re trying to make it sound like there’s something going on that isn’t. Yes policy changes with time. People do the best they can with what they have you and I are no different. Our ideas and rules within our own homes change year to year. I can’t believe you guys sit around talking about things that you clearly don’t really know about. Yes, you might have some details about the past. About maybe when policies came out, but those policies never affected me personally, and I doubt they affected most people personally. It’s like you’re making a lot of assumptions and drawing conclusions. I see way too much of that. I could look at your personal past and draw a few conclusions if you want but I’m not gonna waste my time.
I thought I was a sinner at the age of 8 from what they taught me in Sunday school. So glad I got out of this church at the age of 16. Even happier that my family followed me out!
Watch the entire episode on our RUclips channel! Episode 1862.
It was not directed at just singles. Married people were also told oral sex was wrong. I imagine males in the church raised enough stink that the ban on oral sex was reversed.
Lmao!! So, how did they think the Mormon church would carry on without a couple having 'relations?! It's hilarious!!! 🤣🤣♥️♥️♥️♥️ '@user-og2wt3le4j
Imagine a committee deciding what grown adults can do with their own bodies in the privacy of their own bedrooms.
Imagine people actually following it 🤯🤯
You mean the American supreme court on abortion?
It sounds wild when you hear them trying to control heterosexual married couples but religions are always trying to control lgbtq relationships
Sa'cult
I give you the Supreme Court of the United States.
Part of my thinks the initial thought was, "Oh haha, now men dont have to please their wives, lol!" "Wait... that means our wives can't please us... take it back"
Is it not pleasurable to please your wife??
I am pretty sure Mormon leaders have never even heard of the possibility of pleasing a woman with oral sex, let alone done that.
Tbh, I think straight men are more into Performing oral on women than the other way around.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Best comment ever!!
Its a cult... the first thought... is exercising power, control, influence. Its that simple. Thats always the first thought of a cult. Thats it. Period.
As a female ex-mormon this made me laugh so much. And having any sort of leader make policies on other people's sex lives is WEIRD!!! Mormons are WEIRD!
Just like the Catholic church banning birth control.
Now apply that same logic to the church in general when it comes to sex, sexuality, love, and marriage. They never had a right, and shouldn't now.
This holds true for "purity" and same-sex pairings. Other people trying to impart control on other people's lives based on some old book and their interpretation of it should cease.
@@GopherCakeStuff Ah, a truth sayer!! I love you 🥰♥️♥️♥️♥️👏👏👏
Mormons take pride in being peculiar
I was newly married when this letter came out and we and we were appalled and my wife told the stake president it was none of his business!
Good for her!!
She was probably put on a list as being unfaithful after her push back
I clearly remember this happening and feeling completely blindsided 😮😳 by the question at my temple recommend interview. Lots of whispering and anger went on amongst ward members. Just as suddenly as the question had appeared, it was gone. But I still feel the shock I felt when I sat there in my interview 40+ years ago.
It hurts to shine light into this dark place of coercive control and anguish for good people, but its healthyier to hurt this way, than keeping it secret.
When I was getting ready for my mission my papers were constantly delayed because I couldn’t go more than a month without masturbation. People would always ask me why I hadn’t left yet and if I ever was going to go. I sat in a meeting with my bishop and my stake president and they invited my mom and dad to also sit in. The stake president laid it out for them, and my mom burst into tears. I sat there wishing a hole would open up and swallow me completely. Eventually I made it 6 weeks or something and they allowed me to go. It was such a taboo subject and I never talked about it and I wondered about how other guys made it through the process?
They lied.
Exactly!
Yep they lied... You were punished for trying to be your best self
Why did you tell anyone about your struggles in the first place?
I got saved in my bedroom all by myself. So when I began visiting churches and joining churches I never felt any pastor had that kind of authority over me, that I had to tell him all my struggles and failings.
I didn't go to confession wen I was a Catholic. Just once for my First Holy Communion when I was 7.
My conclusions about masturbation after 47 years?
Using your sexual energy by directing it away from lust is an incredibly positive use of that energy and you should do that as much as possible.
The word "sublimate" comes from the word “sublime." Historically and philosophically, sublime refers to a quality of greatness or grandeur that goes beyond all bounds of human experience, often tied to the aesthetic, spiritual, or moral realms. When discussing sexual energy, the term “to make sublime” suggests a transformation or elevation of this primal force into something higher, more refined, or spiritually profound.
That's a pretty great target to aim at!
But I'm gonna tell you what no one else who ever talks about "sublimation" ever does: You won't ever be able to succeed.
But that's O.K. No one ever does. The point is, without our sexual energy we wouldn't be the masculine creators and maintainers of our societies! And without our redirecting that energy towards non-sexual activities and projects like graduating from school, learning a trade, building a business, starting and raising a family, we, all of us, would be no distention different than the herbivore men of Japan and the miserable, videogame playing, porn obsessed Gen-Zers our society is awash in today!
@@terrifictomm As a young Mormon, especially around the puberty age, you are taught that sexual sin is a sin just under murder in severity. I remember being specifically taught "that taking a life is the most serious sin and its opposite, giving life, or the procreative powers and associated sins are just as serious". Then they are taught that masterbation is a serious sexual sin.
Now think about how that messes up a teenage brain, when they start to figure out what sexuality is all about and are curious and start to explore thier own bodies. That if they ever masturbate they are commiting a sin next to murder. The guilt they feel for having natural urges.
Mormon bishops require the youth to meet with them twice yearly, starting at age 12, and will ask probing question about possible sexual sin. Many times young Mormons hear about masturbation the first time from thier religious leaders. Some mormon parent won't talk to thier kids about sex leaving it to the Mormon church and bishops and school districts that teach abstinence only.
There is a exmormon movement trying to stop bishops from having one on one meetings with the youth, because of cases of bishops sexually grooming young kids. Or at a minimum it normalizes an adult authority figure talking to kids, alone, about sex, leaving them vulnerable to predators to do the same.
Over all it's a big problem and can cause the youth to have issues with self hate, shame and sexual disfunction for many years.
I was raised in a mix faith household with my dad leaving the church because of the blow job letter. That disgust didn't translate into protecting me for the grossness.
I'm so sorry 😢😢😢😢 I hope you're doing better these days ♥️♥️♥️♥️
That's all it took to get him to leave. Then he already had doubts and just needed a excuse to leave
Your dad has every right to leave the church for any reason. I just think it hilarious it took a blowjob for them to leave. 😂😂😂😂
The miracle of forgiveness has reference to oral or a**l sex being wrong even when married. I remember questioning why it would reference married couples since it should be up to them. I was basically told sex is for procreation and any "variation" is immoral.
Loool😂 whaaaat?
This placed oral sex in the category of an "unholy or impure practice," which made it an absolute violation of your temple covenants.
Yes! I remember telling my mom. 'so not only am I not supposed to have sex but when I finally am allowed to, they're gonna tell me how to do it?!' 😅 she said I was being so disrespectful. 😅😂😂
Yes, my ex-wife believed the "sex for procreation only" garbage. People ask me why I have so many kids...lol.
I know women that used this to withhold sex from their husbands because they were not trying to have a baby. Also used for zero sex after menopause. With that argument-Please bring back polygamy, LOL!!
I've known many a mormon. My mom used to host them everyweek. I met many elders this way. They are decent people, though strange. There were these two really cool guys, we played basletball regularly, the one was a beast on the court. I am not religious, i do find learning about religion fasinating, and i liked that i could challenge them with hard questions and they would do there best to answer. All that being said if a mormOn ever knocks on my door, i will feed them and offer them something to drink. These guys pay for there own mission out of there own pockets and i respect the fact that the believe so hard that they'll volenteer and fund a mission to spread something they feel is worth it. They may be odd balls but most of them are good people, who are far from home, and a lot of people are mean to for no reason.
Many of the missionaries don’t have much of a choice in going on a mission. It’s that or disconnected from their family for the rest of their lives, or the mormon women won’t even consider dating them if they don’t go. Marrying outside the religion is about as taboo as it is for Jews.
Your chance of getting a depressed Mormon wife go waaay down if you do not do mission. If you go and abuse yourself for 2 years then you have your choices. You turn into a stud upon return. Still a bad deal dealing with Mormonism and their antidepressant loving self-abusing dogma.
As far as I have been studying religion, faith systems, I realized that they are victims of their family's beliefs and the religious institution. I'm still a ( converted)member of the Mormon Church, and I always refused to read or listen about what exmormons had to say, because the mindset of the institution is so protected. Now I feel like a fish out the water and nobody wants to help me. People at the church just ignore me because I have been asking questions.
@@EverythingPlus.101 you just need to realize that you do not need the Mormons or any other garbage. You can stand on your own and figure out life on your own. I have more faith in any individual than I would ever have to any institution.
@@EverythingPlus.101 even if you were raised in the church and ask questions they ignore. They hate good critical questions because their teachings are lies and they have much to hide. Ask anyone on here for answers and you’ll get the truth. It may not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
I'm glad you omitted the super hilarious comment of gripping Tighter and Tighter when talking about masturbation. I laughed out loud during that part in the episode.
I’ve gotta listen now!! 😂😂
The church that is #1 in paid phub subscriptions 😂.
Research! 😂😮😅
I also read somewhere a while ago that the second largest buyer of mormon underwear is the gay p*rn industry. With mormon boys being the catholic school girls of gay p*rn.
Joseph Smith would've been appalled, I'm sure
You never know with high-level freemasons.
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂
He had sex with children sooo I think we're more appalled with him
Yeah, there's a real holy man, right?
right, the guy that married a ton if already married women some of which were children is really a good person to take cues from here
How do people believe in this craziness?!
Repetition, fear, constant distractions like slave labor so you never get a chance to question. If you do question then it is H E double hockey sticks for you gosh darn it😂
Indoctrination, fear, and shame
Plausible deniability
This is one of the BEST EPISODES from Mormon Stories....😎👍
The Law of Chastity is not being changed, but how members are to view it and practice it is being left up to them.
🎶 Hold to the rod, the iron rod... 🎶
That song is a reference to Nephi prophesying about Abraham's seed being put in the Gentiles, swallowing up filthy waters, and grafting a smooth olive branch. The only thing that was hard was Nephi's brethrens' hearts. Please don't demean our Holy Scriptures with innuendo. I have spaken.
@@troisquarts3659 It's my hobby to ridicule religion since I became an apostate. I will continue.
@@jeffsaxton716 then all I can go by is the words of Nephi. The only thing that should be in mouths is books proceeding forth. Not iron rods proceeding in repeatedly.
😂😂😂
@@troisquarts3659lighten up Francis
I go by the scriptures and what the Spirit tells me, not by what was added or deleted by men.
Doesn’t matter what’s in the church handbook of instructions if you challenge someone who’s in leadership and tell them that not in the handbook they they say “well I feel inspired to do it my way”
So, suddenly oral sex is no longer forbidden. I guess the elders had second thoughts…real fast.
Statically dynamic
A revelation I’m sure 😂
Some might call it post nut clarity 😂
Btw I'm a mormon
I grew up in the church and never ever ever was that some thing that was taught to me. It was always sex is between husband and wife.
Did you listen to the short? It was instituted then quickly removed, were you married during 1981 and have a temple recommend interview during the short time it was policy? My parents definitely did not teach anything about it to me but then again they never taught me anything about sex. If the word sex was even mentioned they got embarrassed and red in the face.
I grew up Mormon too and was specifically asked in a bishops interview at 13 if I masturbated or had oral sex. I didn’t even fully understand those things. The bishop explained them to me. This was in 2007 I refused to do bishop interviews from then on because I didn’t feel comfortable. Never did baptisms for the dead as a teenager
Wait…. Is he saying that it’s legal to crank it if you’re a Mormon now!?
I also had this question asked years ago during my reccomend interview, I was in shock. I’m so glad this is being brought up because when I tell people they think I was crazy and it didn’t happen. OHHH yes it sure did happen. It still makes me cringe!
Thank you. Love this.
Nobody should tell you what to do or not to do. Especially in the privacy of your own home. This cult does a lousy job playing the Holy Spirit. All you need is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Through prayer, praise, asking him to forgive you when you sin. Thankfulness and making your requests known to God in the privacy of your own mind and thoughts. You don't even have to go to a temple building or cathedral. Because Jesus Christ says we are the church, if you turn to him and confess your sins. You will be forgiven. He wants to speak to you, through his word of course. Follow Jesus and nobody else.❤ Walk the walk. That means live your life with the Holy Spirit within you. Born Again by asking for God's Spirit to direct you in all things. Read the New Testament. NOT the LDS Bible.
I was raised by overly controlling LDS parents. I have never heard about this letter and was never questioned about masturbation, good thing cause I had no idea what it was. Was always told you never touch yourself. I had no clue as to what that meant. Sex was never discussed. My parents always treated us as children even as adults, (not so much my brothers) we were NEVER given “the talk” I was given more info from my girl friends Mom’s than either one of my parents. As I became an older teen I remember clearly my dad saying “when you get married what you do in your bedroom behind closed doors is only you and your husband’s business.” I now think he was most likely referring to this letter. I think the whole oral sex was in reference to people unmarried…… ( oral sex shouldn’t happen if you’re not married, maybe people didn’t consider it to be sex…..maybe clarification was needed?) because what you do with your spouse is is your own business and both of you should be completely comfortable with it and no one should be asking bedroom questions to married couples. Oral sex is a sexual act and any sexual act creates a bond or desire for that person or act and if it is with your spouse your bond is made stronger but if it is “alone” or with a partner your not married to you will create unhealthy bonds and may not be able to have intimacy with your spouse later in life. (Yes I studied psychology and medicine) never underestimate addiction. Why marry someone who can’t have the best experience with you? No one wants a partner that is happy to masturbate alone instead of having a sexual experience with their chosen spouse. I wouldn’t want a partner that came with the need for years of therapy.
Was this letter misconstrued? Why aren’t these questions answered more openly? Why does sex or intercourse come with such shame??? Why does it have to be so ugly? I have certainly been more open with my children. I never wanted them to feel stupid about the topic, or misguided by friends as they grew up so no topic was taboo. I wanted them to be able to make good choices for themselves give children the info they need as they grow. Intensely religious people have a tendency to withhold, or hide information about sex from their children. I never wanted my kids ignorant on the subject. I never wanted them to be easily manipulated or to be a victim. When you withhold information or are not clear on the subject or make the subject so taboo you create an unhealthy situation. My parents were both a product of parents who were extremely tight lipped on the subject, and I’m certain they are exactly how their parents were but I know that how I raised my children is light years better than how I was raised. It takes generations to undo wrong, ignorant, and stupid things. I will never be judgmental of others, but there are better ways to approach sex than the way my parents did. They just never taught us anything. That’s backwards and never helps anyone. Talk to your kids about sex before someone else does, including a bishop! If they have no idea what it’s all about how would they know what an inappropriate question or situation is?
Am I wrong? I am certainly open to more information.
Wait, masturbation isn’t a sin anymore?
It's no one's business.
So masturbation is not in the handbook, they don't ask about it or consider it not obeying the law of chastity anymore? I could have been hammering myself for the past 14 years and been good to go? Damnit! 😂
No it’s in the handbook. He has no idea what he’s talking about. The general handbook is a lot more in depth then people think
This is so cringe worthy!
These dudes want TOTAL control of their members! No oral sex! Does that apply to cunninglingus also?
Not content to ban masturbation, they try to ban oral sex also!
Why not simplify things and ban SEX altogether?! LOL 😝
So cringy! 🤯
I recall sitting in that meeting as a newlywed and feeling soooo embarrassed.
And the point of this conversation is....?
Hahah I’m an active member (attack me if you want exmos) but this is a funny story lol. I’d be on the same page if the Prophet brought something up like that lol.
😂😂😂
So cringe worthy I was involved in this crazy institution.
I left 12 years ago. Had my name removed. I can’t believe I bought that stuff. So relieved and at peace now that I’m out.
@@KatieKat75 I hear you, you basically have to start over...brutal.
Interesting. So, is masturbation no longer considered “evil?”
I'm so glad to have been an active member outside Utah, in 1 of the gay-friendliest cities in North America and, you guess it, outside the United States, so I dealt with none of these sheninigans.
This is accurate information .
As an Eastern Orthodox Christian I agree with his very last statement.
So if the church changes or updates it’s policies, you’re not OK with that. But if the church doesn’t change or update its policies you’re also not OK with that. So which one is it?
The church claims to have the perfect unerring law of a God who claims to be "the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow." Changes to policy are not consistent with thesr claims.
Wow!
I remember when this became part of the temple recommend interview.
I heard the whole oral, even between a married couple is against the rules. I was born in 1990. NEVER heard it was changed.
This actually makes me mad. On the mission 2012-14, masturbation was a HUGE topic. There was a mission wide training on it. Our mission president compared masturbation to breaking your leg. If you break your leg, it will hinder the work. Apparently masturbation hinders the work similarly. Anyway, "break your leg" became code for self pleasure in the mission. So now you're telling me it was REMOVED from the official handbook 2 years before I even left on my mission?!
I remember it being announced in Relief Society. A group of us in the back started giggling. We all agreed, we were all going to lie if asked! Stupid me, we thought!
6 months was his limit without it, then he begged heavenly Father 🙏😭 and his wish was accepted 😂😁
Ancient aliens made him do it. The History channel said so. It must be true. The ghost told me😂
Truly these finely aged, cognitively resplendent leaders of men are divinely inspired 😉
Jehovah’s Witnesses have a similar teaching, and my wife got sucked into their BS for a short time back in the early 2000s shortly after we’d gotten married. She tried to tell me how oral was forbidden by them and I said well honey, luckily for you I’m an atheist and don’t give a damn what they say. The only form of heaven I need is to be with you.
I can't believe people actually based their whole life on science fiction
how do you get ahold of this handbook?
I wonder how many bishops told their husbands and wifes they where unworthy of the temple and resulted in the divorce over this
I was in a young married ward, in Utah, early 2000s. Our Bishop always liked to talk about intimacy...he shared a story about a man cheating on his wife. I'm not sure where he got the story. In the story, as they discussed his sin, the man told him (it was a higher up church person that he was counseling with) and the man stated that what he did wasn't that bad... it was only oral. She was his hairdresser and she gave him a blow. In response, this high up leader said, oh, that is worse...
I remember thinking, wait, what?
Why is that worse?
Risking pregnancy, and the possibility of bringing kids into this, would be worse, imo.
He was teaching that oral was perverted.
I really wish I remembered who he said the higher up person was, that said it was worse.
I want to say it was in an ensign lol but I cannot imagine a story like that would be in church magazine...so it probably wasn't?
🤔 Anyone here read the miracle of forgiveness? Is that story possibly in there??
I also just remembered my old bishop's name and found him on Facebook 🫣 and I seriously want to ask him if he remembers that story...but it's so awkward 😅...I don't think I can. And who knows if he would remember it? He's about 60 now? and he told that story about 20+ years ago.
Its how it goes. If theyre not super clear then members come up with their own explanations
Like ask 10 different members about dinosaurs and they'll all have their own individual explanations
The reason I wasn’t able to go to BYU was because of that rule that was taken out in 2010!
Sounds like JWs tbh same crap different religion
I remember being taught before the stealing that bj's are sinful, and I was taught my whole childhood that masturbation was a sin.
Love those comments "our church doesn't teach that" what year? What country\state\county\city\ward are they in?😂😅
The law of chastity never explicitly mentions masturbation. Just sex is only between a married man and woman. Premarital sex is forbidden
Ol' dirty bishop gets off on having that discussion with children. The more things change the more they stay the same. Just a continuation of Joe Smith's misadventures with children
Hopefully the church will admit the truth about rampant child abuse in the church.
I remember that letter! Mainly because that was how I learned of the existence of something called "oral s*x". 😮😂 Had to have it explained to me, because I had no idea what they were talking about. Then I was just like, "People do what? Ewww Gross!!"
Jump forward 4 decades: I learn from my own children of the existence of something called "asexuality". Again, 😮 and this time also 😊. My whole life starts to make a little more sense. You would think the church might be all over that one, but nope. Crickets. Lol
Wow❤
Sadly this is a man’s perspective in a patriarchal church. Why wasn’t the big loss in this announcement inferred to be cunninglis?????
Wait, do they tell married people what they can and cant do?!
Thats disgusting that they even had to say anything on that, then decided they are superior enough to say, yeah, go ahead. Why would you stay in a church where church leaders make moral "rules." God made our rules and they're already established.
Almost ruined my sex life with husband as I believed God could see everything that was going on between us.
I guess this was their attempt at thinking outside the box 😉
Point? That men are imperfect?
But isn't everything that bishops say "scripture"? Boy that "Scripture" changed pretty quickly!
Yep
Isn’t birth control one of those issues,too? I remember in the 70s, I believe, reading in The Ensign, a Q& A by a general authority who said the use of birth control was not forbidden. It was up to the couple to prayerfully decide when to have their children. I, as a young adult convert, who knew I didn’t want a ton of kids, was relieved at this. I was still baffled why very young couples would keep popping out kids. The use of birth control wasn’t doctrine it was a perpetuated belief.
It's weird how obsessed with sex the church is. I'm an atheist and don't think about sex nearly as much as the church does.
“The only true church on the face of the earth.” But they can’t be consistent in their doctrines. Just another reason I left to serve Jesus and not a false institution claiming they represent him, Pharisaical organization of man.
It's like, God never really said any of this, it just a bunch of people sitting in a room and coming up with bias rules....😶🌫️🤔
I thought God didn't change his principles.
This is just like the tactics of the Catholic faith. They are another cult.
Plenary indulgences were taught to my mother. They teach that you can reduce the time you spend in Purgatory (a temporary Hell) if you buy Plenary Indulgences (i.e., give money to the church).
In the 1960s this practice was abandoned, but it was never officially announced that it was no longer true. It was just no longer taught. So, the older generation still believed in it, and continued to give away money that they could ill afford to lose.
Between married couple or singles? I would think it wouldn’t be allowed between single people, but married folks could do whatever. Unless you’re like the hole in the sheet people.
It's beneficial for HIM that his parents dont change because he doesn't have to do ish. Those are your parents!!! She didn't marry his parents
Of course, y'all have your agency and can do religion or not do religion any way you wish. I never understood the obsession people who leave the church have and maintain long afterward.
Wow
In 1981 God changed his mind about humans with useful amounts of melanin in their skin. 😊
49:15 I wouldn't mind helping my mother-in-law IF my husband was helping her first. That's your family's house. Get it together
Same with Jehovah's Wittness.
Didn’t Mormons used to have spittoons in the churches it was like okay to spit tobacco juice at one point?
Yes. This was actually what brought about the Word of Wisdom. The women would clean up after the bad tobacco habits of the men after their meetings and the brethren finally decided that they needed better habits and brought it to God in prayer. They were then given many life and health practices to better themselves.
What if the baby girlfriend is a dog and shes being sarcastic? 😂😂😂 Can dogs life up to 25 years old? I'm so confused
Damn He’s got good teeth
How much more in someone's personal life can you be then ruling on sexual practices. WOW, get outta the bedroom, that's creepy.
The Bible is the handbook!
Look! No one has authority over your life. No one is your God. Especially in a structure. God is all good and bad. It’s up to you to live the experiences you wish. God is only love and acceptance. If you want to live in fear, that’s your choice not Gods.
The “blow job letter”😂😂😂😂
Why do we think the brethren have all the answers? We nit pick and expect perfection from them and don’t give them the same grace we want. If they struggle and make mistakes that doesnt make them any less who the Lord called to their responsibility. This is a church cultural issue. The best thing to do is stay in the church express your concerns and trust in the Lord and his all knowing timeframe. The scriptures all full of the human frail weakness and sin of former and ancient Prophets. The Saviors Atonement cover all suffering in this life. It will all work out. I can speak from experience. Abuse and suffering have been my cross to bear in this life. My non member step father abuse me and my siblings. The healing began when I joined Christ church 46 years ago. When I was born again and entered the cleansing waters of baptism. Only the Savior Atonement can change us, heal
Us and make us new creatures. Its been a long journey, alot of work, pain and hurt . But im in the best place mentally and spiritually ive ever
Been in. I love the Savior. My favorite scriptures are Mathhew 11:28-30, Helaman 5:12 and 2 Nephi 31:15-16.
So so sick of the “human frailties” argument anytime there is wrong doing. Then stop with the nonsense that these men speak for God because after a quick glance at history it’s obviously not true. Anyone who claims to speak for god should not be a product of their time.
The issue is that they claim to speak for the lord, so If they are making mistakes, is it the lord making mistakes? History shows that what prophets have said can be changed and disavowed. So why should we trust everything a current prophet says? I don't need to waste energy worrying about any of that anymore.
A Bishop could have, in my first interview as a teenager at age 12, described the rules around chastity and then asked me if I had many any choices outside of the rules. Instead, they ask specific questions about behaviors that are considered "wrong". That approach feels like voyeurism to me, it's readily interpreted as something perverted and inappropriate, because it is perverted and inappropriate.
25:56 We know that song from Full House 😂😂😂
What a sham
After i lost my virginity while in the process of doing my papers. I couldnt get myself to stop having sex. Plus i had a bad porn addiction to top it all off
I have been married almost 35 years. I have never had a Bishop question me on any sexual practices within my marriage. You make it sound like bishops are counseling their married people on what appropriate and not. That just doesn’t happen you’re trying to make it sound like there’s something going on that isn’t. Yes policy changes with time. People do the best they can with what they have you and I are no different. Our ideas and rules within our own homes change year to year. I can’t believe you guys sit around talking about things that you clearly don’t really know about. Yes, you might have some details about the past. About maybe when policies came out, but those policies never affected me personally, and I doubt they affected most people personally. It’s like you’re making a lot of assumptions and drawing conclusions. I see way too much of that. I could look at your personal past and draw a few conclusions if you want but I’m not gonna waste my time.
Trying to find logic in any religion is a waste of time
The more nonsense the better 😂
The goofiest of all cult/religions. Don’t forget Kolob.
I honestly dont see what the problem here is
I thought I was a sinner at the age of 8 from what they taught me in Sunday school. So glad I got out of this church at the age of 16. Even happier that my family followed me out!