PLEASE PLEASE be very careful meeting people online. I like the old fashioned methods of meeting people in public or having your friends or family introduce you.
Me too Vonnie I'm old school I like to meet people the old fashion way. Just my opinion online is for people who are desperate and socially awkward. I never been fan of online dating I've heard people say it's nothin but bunch weirdos, perverts, socially awkward people online looking for relationship.
There's a Ted talk that explains this perfectly. I think shooting your shot as a woman is wisdom, depending on the guys character. All kinds of men approach women but a man of character and discipline isn't going to talk much to women. My male cousin is an example. Loves God, good job, tall n attractive, isn't dating and isn't searching for a wife. He's focusing on himself
I always remember my now husband was just like listen, I like you, I don’t know if you like me but I’d like to go out lol. I respected that straight talk so much cause the way I am if you don’t tell me, I don’t know 🤷🏽♀️
With so many fast lane, and venerable women out here these days seemingly so ok with making the first moves, is what I believe is a huge part of the reason men are so layed back, and lackadaisical, in wanting to be approached and sought after as if he is the prize. But it isn't happening with me.
I’ve had male coworkers from old jobs tell me to do this when we had relationship conversations… and I’ve done it.. don’t recommend. 99% of the guys will say yes just to see how far you’ll go, with no guaranteed interest. In the end, it’s exhausting and embarrassing for the woman. Men are hunters and go for what they want . Ladies, stay offline and put yourself out there. If homeless men have the audacity to approach women, then any man with interest should. I remember a man who I pursued meeting up with me at a bar, ordering us drinks, and telling me to pay because he had no money. I was so frustrated. He knew what he was doing, looking back.
Back when I didn’t know any better, I use to shoot my shot & it only ended one of 2 ways…sex or disappointment. Now that I know better, I’d never do that. I’m so grateful I matured & honestly, a lot of your videos is what opened up my eyes to myself back in 2021🙏🏾. Keep speaking the truth.
Me too sis back in da day l didn't know any better,but now l thank God for growth!!!! Whateva God has for me he will give it to me on his time not Crystal's time. What's so good about it l ain't gotta shoot my shot nor force it. Much love sis😊🙏
Me too!!! I have done a lot of soul searching listening to his videos. I wish my father would have been more forthcoming about the different types of men that aren't always obvious to women. Then I think to myself I don't know if he knew.
It’s so funny because I keep being told it’s ok to approach a man but I couldn’t do that because it didn’t feel right but I was accused of being to old fashioned.
I haven't watched a video from you in a minute, but this video was needed! Thank you for clarifying that women don't need to shoot their shots! I remember a guy in college saying that women should speak first because some men are shy! You nailed that point when you said a man needs to be confident in his relationship!
I'm so glad you clarified on what I always have said, a woman shouldn't have to approach or pursue a man, women are so thirsty these days. I never have pursued any man in my life, they always pursued and chased me down. I was old fashioned in my 20's and 40 years later, still feel the same. Been married for almost 20 years (second marriage) But I can truly say I never had to shoot a shot or approach any man. They always did the chasing. AND I ENJOYED IT, but not in a sexual way, it was always Roman tic.
He speaking 100% truth. There are unknowingly men who play pity or shallow (like my ex) bt then when he switched roles it was anger aggression. Cant be switching roles like he said, we women cant go doing what it takes to be the provider, then take a back seat". Same thing for men thou. Most men who play the back seat role and let the woman take charge, eventually surprise the ish out of her and ultimately abuses her. Thats from experience and from watching content on tv.. So yup let him hunt lead...💗💗💗💗
It's cold out here, it seems like women have become the hunters instead of the men. No wonder men is just sitting back and waiting for the women to approach them.
Thanks for clearing this up. I heard from a “credible” relationship coach that it’s ok for a woman to shoot her shot but I may have misinterpreted it. It makes much more sense biblically to let a man pursue and to simply show interest through compliments but NOT going the full distance of asking him out or asking if he’s single. I’m relieved to have watched this.
I appreciate your advice, but one thing we have to remember is that everybody’s story is different. Your story in itself is unique because most women would not have given you another chance after you tried to talk to her and her friend. I’m sure other women can relate to being approached by a man and he seemed like (or even came right out and said) that he would take either one of us. That’s a turn off to most. So I think it’s important to point out that what works for some does not work for others. Just like I’ve heard some men say that they don’t mind a woman approaching them first. Not because he’s too shy, or not confident, but because he just simply doesn’t mind. And in your case, it was a turn off for women to approach you. Even with both of you already being in a relationship and having issues with your partners. Many will consider that a red flag. Prime examples of everybody’s story being different. (I’m not saying I’m going to shoot my shot first. I’m just aware that everybody is different.)
You're so right! I never felt comfortable shooting my shot to men. I've always had men pursue me. That's how I was raised & that's how I carry myself. I regret taking advice from my now married friend to shoot my shot at my son's father's attorney in a different setting. My friend knew I had a crush on him & that we had a connection in the club when I used to club. She told me that it's okay to let him know I'm interested by approaching him. I asked him did he want my number & he said yes then took my number. I was so out of my comfort zone & I'll never do that anymore. If I ever see him again, I'll apologize to him. I don't care what society says... old school still works.
We have yo be wary of our "friend(s)" advice. They wanna sabotage your happiness and success. I am not saying your friend is this way, but it's something to consider
Thanks for sharing Tony. I believe God brought you and your wife together based off of what you shared here and in past videos, about randomly bumping into each other several times and more. That’s the God factor we need in our relationships and can’t ignore. God bless you and your family, in Jesus name💛
As always, great message!! The one and only Man that GOD has ordained for you, will always pursue you “intentionally” and with a “purpose” (e.g. Marriage). Stay Blessed 🙏🏼
Two type of men a grown boy & a grown man. A woman should never approach a man only the man should pursue the woman. The man is the hunter. This is something I’ve had to learn.
Thank you for this!! I remember I went out for pizza and drinks with my homeboy and his brother..they literally noticed EVERY.SINGLE.WOMAN that walked by or through the door. I remember that solidifying for me to never approach a man. He sees you girl! Lol On the other other end, a home girl of mine told me she noticed when it came to dudes that she approached, they never applied the pressure that the ones who approached her did.
Did business with a man about late 50s...he installed our solar heater. I overheard him telling my husband that he's been proposed to about five times but these women have come up short. So I asked him if it wasn't backwards that the women proposed? Isn't that what turned him off? He said no....roles have changed in these modern times. I was so disgusted. I think it's because the women shot they their shot but he says otherwise. 🤔
LOL he was lying. I don't believe that for a second he was just feeling insecure and trying to fake brag in front of your husband because he isn't married.
I totally agree. When women make themselves too available and easy, the man is not challenged to grow up because he is spoiled, which means he doesn't have to put work in to get a woman.
I tried it once in college. We both got what we wanted and that was it. Nuff said. Don't do it. Men SAY they want the woman to make the first move. 🙄 Think about it.
I will never Shoot my Shot, That's definitely a man's job baby, he might got a lil sugarcane in his Tank if he expects you to shoot your shot that's so Feminine to me, on fb this dude said Men want to be taking on Dates wth 🤣🤣
Tony has a video where he tells us of a man does not approach you it’s either 1- he’s taking 2- he’s not interested 3-he’s not ready that is absolutely the truth I shot my self after a men presented a compliment about me and walked out the door I gave my number to him through a co-worker and when he finally reached out I asked why he didn’t approach me and he said “ i said to myself I’m not looking for anything and I felt I was below your caliber “. From there I knew better but I continued to speak with him later on I realized I was being treated like less than what I deserved because I pursued him . Moving forward if you see me and don’t speak or speak and walk that’s fine I’m standing still because it does not feel good to be treated that way .
Aww Tony! I’ve missed your guidance! You helped me leave & get out of a really bad physically abusive relationship a few years ago! I loved that man but i thank GOD you were there! Im back listening-to your guidance again. Bless you! I feel as though im ready to dip my feet in the water but honestly i think its time to just do a long stint of celibacy bc human beings need love & affection! Its a human need! However, someone like me who spent over half my life with one man its just been difficult getting to a mindset of relationship or i meet a man & catch deep feelings to find out hes a cheater or we ain’t compatible so i suppose just leaving it in GODS hands at this point bc one thing ive come to realize-is time is too precious-to waste but on the other hand im terrified-to get my heart broken again or end up in a really unhealthy unhappy relationship just bc im sometimes lonley! Apology’s im sure you hear this same thing hundreds x a day! Bless you for being a loving family man & trying yo help & guide woman !
That is soooooo true!! Just happened to me very recently. Never said anything out of the norm no more than commenting on this person craftsmanship, the brotha got mad skills. But he sent me a telegram to talk. So Tony, you are right. No, I did not respond back because this person has a girlfriend and there is an age gap.
Liberal (& white) gal here and before i even hear this video... and i say DON'T! No man deserves it in the beginning anyway. Except the ways TG says. Ive approached in younger years and was not desperate, but if it can be missunderstood , NO Thanks! Not trying to emasculate anyone anyway. Believe me it's been 11 yrs! LOL God Bless you Tony & all hearing this.
I get what your saying but to be fair, the confidence issue has to be on both parties. I feel like men and women should both be confident and they should know better. They should shoot their shot at each other in a sense. I'm not shooting my shot at a girl who appears uninterested. Just my opinion. It goes both ways. Also, a man who doesn't shoot his shot could still be confident. Perhaps his focus is on his purpose and family. Men putting women on a pedestal has caused so many problems throughout history.
YES..... a man is the pursuer, or should be. I am desperate for a man.... but I know I cannot approach one. I know I have to lose weight, and then a man will approach me. These are just the cold hard facts. It is tacky and embarrassing for a woman to approach a man.
Q# I see how in your story about how you and your wife started out you guys had broken up for a while. My question is how likely is it to end up getting back with your ex? Thanks.
See this isn’t making sense. It does but doesn’t. Here me out, I have men that follow me on Instagram, watch EVERY SINGLE POST consistently watching me, you mean to tell me that a straight man is following and watching a woman he is NOT attracted to ?? That makes zero sense. Now, one of the men that does this to me, is an NFL player(2 actually do this to me). Yes they could be taken (but it must not be too serious if they never post her- I’ve looked) but the attraction part doesn’t add up when they have a million options. I simply think , some men think they’re the prize so they don’t approach women nowadays. But overall, I agree, I do not recommend women shooting their shot first, the few times I did, it didn’t work in my favor. But there are some women who it does work for, chad Johnson said his now fiancé sent him a DM first.
The story of Ruth and Boaz from the Bible disagrees with the message from this video. I think it all depends on the type of Man, some Men 🤡🤡🤡 are just not worth it.
I beg to differ Ruth didn’t ‘shoot her shot’ instead she reciprocated the care Boaz showed her first from allowing her to pick up his leftover grains without consent, to giving her more grains for free, and told her not to pick in other fields but his. Then he even sought to know more about her among the workers of the field and her. Ruth being aware of all of this told her mother-in-law who believes Boaz is certainly interested in Ruth, advised she’d made herself known to him; “show interest in him, also”, as we’ll say. In which she did in the custom of those days. You can start from Ruth 2 for more details.
This feels a little absolutist, Tony. Is the story of Moses not the same as I understand it from the Quran? Moses, peace be upon him, was offered marriage to an elderly man's daughter, once he saw how hard working he was. It was another prophet. We also have the story of Muhammad pbuh and Khadijah in Islamic tradition, but I know Christians will not be as familiar with this one. All in all I would never approach a man in this day and age. But there are godly men who were gifted marriage in Abrahamic traditions
Tony if you see this, or if anyone can let me know, in this video when Tony met his wife working in the mall, he asked her if she could have friends. Has Tony talked on whether men really want to be friends with women??
Yes he has. He doesn’t agree with women having “friends” when looking for a mate. He explains that men ain’t “friends” cuz they will have sex with their friend if there is a possibility. He explains that he had an unattractive female friend back in the day. I think he eventually tried to kiss her even though he wasn’t attracted to her because in general that’s what men do. But she said something like, “ Ewe Tony we’re friends.” And that was that
We have too much to lose to shoot our shot ladies! He needs to earn his right to be by my side and lead our future. A man will never value what he Doesnt work for. Just my humble opinion. Be blessed 🙌
There are guys who like my stuff, respond to a story with a comment, but don’t directly pursue and continue a conversation and ask to meet up. It’s like they want attention
I have had men add me on social media, look at my story, and not message me. Like who tf are you and why add me if I’ve never met you in real life? At least introduce yourself fool.
I am true old fashion and don't have the courage nor desire to approach a guy but I see the women that have no shame in approaching a man dating all the time.
Past coworker of mine offered his # to me and I reached out. Ever since he’s been sending msgs about wanting to visit me at my house and watching a movie together. He told me he has no plans of trying anything w/me but I don’t believe him. We haven’t hung out at all yet. Is this a red flag?
YES! He’s definitely going to try to get you on your bike (back). He should have at least offered to meet up for coffee or a slice of pizza in a public place, not at your home. You don’t know him like you think you do. Please don’t let him in your personal space. 🙏🏾🥺
The offering of his number to *you,* instead of him asking for yours is the first red flag to me - speaks to his seriousness in wanting to get to know you. If yall are just messaging and not talking - Red flag #2 Wanting to come over and hang out instead of asking you out is the death nail red flag #3 Sweetheart block him, free up your line and your mind for someone else 'cause he ain't it.
Hi Tony! I finally got the courage to start my TikTok page and slowly preparing to transition to RUclips. I find myself at odds with the mindsets of our people when it comes to love and relationships. I heed your advice when it comes to letting men pursue and women not shooting their shot, but it’s so overwhelming to see men say that women should initiate. I try to speak to them with love about this but they get nasty very quickly. Is there a way that women can speak to men to help affirm “he who finds a wife” or is this a man to man conversation to be had?
There are guys who like my stuff, respond to a story with a comment, but don’t directly pursue and continue a conversation and ask to meet up. It’s like they want attention
Alot of yall are delusional as hell. You ever thought wow he is trying to get views and sell you something. Take it from a guy who is successful. It doesnt matter who approaches. Alot of you chicks let the guy approach you and still get played. Go after what you want then you will see if that guy really likes you or not. Just like how men do it. Ive got no problem approaching women and no problem with women approachikg me. Alot of this is scared of rejection. Alot of yall will be rejected brutally. If you do approach men. Thats what happens when you approach.
The man has the instict and urge to pursue, and prove he wants more than sex, its the womens instict to observe and analyze his behavior. If the woman pursues she can not appropriately gage his true intrest in her
He speaking 100% truth. There are unknowingly men who play pity or shallow (like my ex) bt then when he switched roles it was anger aggression. Cant be switching roles like he said, we women cant go doing what it takes to be the provider, then take a back seat". Same thing for men thou. Most men who play the back seat role and let the woman take charge, eventually surprise the ish out of her and ultimately abuses her. Thats from experience and from watching content on tv.. So yup let him hunt lead...💗💗💗💗
I shot my shot and ended up with him for 16 years. Although I had no idea we went to high school together and he had a crush on me but was too scared to talk to me.
What's funny is....when I saw the title of this video, and it mentioned how a woman should shoot her shot, I instantly said out loud BY NOT SHOOTING IT. I agree wholeheartedly with everything said in this video. And the truth is the truth🙏🏾
I think it’s true but i think at the job it’s different guys don’t normally approach girls because they be scared of sexual harassment charges which is very understandable so they would prefer if the girl says something
I was shooting my shot because i was tired of waiting and got rejected i will not do that again because like he said if he don’t approach you your either not his type or he is taken and he don’t have the confidence to approach you then he is not ready
PLEASE PLEASE be very careful meeting people online. I like the old fashioned methods of meeting people in public or having your friends or family introduce you.
Me too Vonnie I'm old school I like to meet people the old fashion way. Just my opinion online is for people who are desperate and socially awkward. I never been fan of online dating I've heard people say it's nothin but bunch weirdos, perverts, socially awkward people online looking for relationship.
Same Vonnie, I prefer the old fashioned way. Although seeing someone’s social media account can tell you a lot about the person.
💯💯💯💯💯@@crystalcormier9376
Me too I wanna meet someone organically. I don’t wanna compromise this
@@crystalcormier9376 💯💯💯
This man told me that more women would meet their husband if they shot their shot. That was all I needed to know about him.
Girl that says alot bout him I run from them kind of men. Smh lol
He’s probably a low key misogynist too.
Yea that man ain’t a husband lol
There's a Ted talk that explains this perfectly. I think shooting your shot as a woman is wisdom, depending on the guys character. All kinds of men approach women but a man of character and discipline isn't going to talk much to women. My male cousin is an example. Loves God, good job, tall n attractive, isn't dating and isn't searching for a wife. He's focusing on himself
@@mayasheartdesiireAnd obviously you're not a wife.
Tony, you chose your wife twice without knowing it at the time. What a blessing.
I screamed when he said he would have threw up in his mouth if his wife would have said something first in the mall 😭💀
🤣🤣
Right 😭😭
Lol 😆
Me too and it teaches me so much about how real men think!
😂😂😂😂😂😩
Agreed.
If he doesn't shoot is shot...he's not available for the reasons Tony stated A-N-D maybe you're just not his type (and that's okay too).
IKR....If a man want you....he coming for you 💯👈
@@beefaye6861 Facts!!!
So if a guy offers his number to a girl is that still him shooting his shot ?
@@user-mb9jx5tx9y l think it is as long as the girl doesn't go up to the guy and give her number.
@@user-mb9jx5tx9y Yeah, but it's not a confident shot Lol...he's taking the chance that she might not call and in a way making her pursue him.
I always remember my now husband was just like listen, I like you, I don’t know if you like me but I’d like to go out lol. I respected that straight talk so much cause the way I am if you don’t tell me, I don’t know 🤷🏽♀️
I’ve noticed an uptick in people saying women should approach men. It’s not a good thing. Tony is on point.
With so many fast lane, and venerable women out here these days seemingly so ok with making the first moves, is what I believe is a huge part of the reason men are so layed back, and lackadaisical, in wanting to be approached and sought after as if he is the prize. But it isn't happening with me.
They just got too many desperate women out that's all. But im not one of them. Smh
I’ve had male coworkers from old jobs tell me to do this when we had relationship conversations… and I’ve done it.. don’t recommend. 99% of the guys will say yes just to see how far you’ll go, with no guaranteed interest. In the end, it’s exhausting and embarrassing for the woman. Men are hunters and go for what they want . Ladies, stay offline and put yourself out there. If homeless men have the audacity to approach women, then any man with interest should. I remember a man who I pursued meeting up with me at a bar, ordering us drinks, and telling me to pay because he had no money. I was so frustrated. He knew what he was doing, looking back.
It’s very embarrassing for a woman so true 😢
Back when I didn’t know any better, I use to shoot my shot & it only ended one of 2 ways…sex or disappointment. Now that I know better, I’d never do that. I’m so grateful I matured & honestly, a lot of your videos is what opened up my eyes to myself back in 2021🙏🏾. Keep speaking the truth.
Me too sis back in da day l didn't know any better,but now l thank God for growth!!!! Whateva God has for me he will give it to me on his time not Crystal's time. What's so good about it l ain't gotta shoot my shot nor force it. Much love sis😊🙏
Me too!!! I have done a lot of soul searching listening to his videos. I wish my father would have been more forthcoming about the different types of men that aren't always obvious to women. Then I think to myself I don't know if he knew.
Girlll this the one because if hes interested id definitely know
It’s so funny because I keep being told it’s ok to approach a man but I couldn’t do that because it didn’t feel right but I was accused of being to old fashioned.
Never
Ever Ever. It’s not that serious.
I feel the same. The right man will understand why I don't approach him first
@@puddin1243you look old asf lmao no man is approaching you 😂
Whoever go seeking & finding should be the one who’s leading & providing! Okayyyyy!! I heard that advice loud & clear Mr. Gaskins!
I haven't watched a video from you in a minute, but this video was needed! Thank you for clarifying that women don't need to shoot their shots! I remember a guy in college saying that women should speak first because some men are shy! You nailed that point when you said a man needs to be confident in his relationship!
I'm so glad you clarified on what I always have said, a woman shouldn't have to approach or pursue a man, women are so thirsty these days. I never have pursued any man in my life, they always pursued and chased me down. I was old fashioned in my 20's and 40 years later, still feel the same. Been married for almost 20 years (second marriage)
But I can truly say I never had to shoot a shot or approach any man. They always did the chasing. AND I ENJOYED IT, but not in a sexual way, it was always Roman tic.
Excellent advice all the time. Thank you
He speaking 100% truth. There are unknowingly men who play pity or shallow (like my ex) bt then when he switched roles it was anger aggression. Cant be switching roles like he said, we women cant go doing what it takes to be the provider, then take a back seat". Same thing for men thou. Most men who play the back seat role and let the woman take charge, eventually surprise the ish out of her and ultimately abuses her. Thats from experience and from watching content on tv.. So yup let him hunt lead...💗💗💗💗
It's cold out here, it seems like women have become the hunters instead of the men. No wonder men is just sitting back and waiting for the women to approach them.
We've reversed the roles!
It’s gotten bad
Thanks for clearing this up. I heard from a “credible” relationship coach that it’s ok for a woman to shoot her shot but I may have misinterpreted it. It makes much more sense biblically to let a man pursue and to simply show interest through compliments but NOT going the full distance of asking him out or asking if he’s single. I’m relieved to have watched this.
I appreciate your advice, but one thing we have to remember is that everybody’s story is different. Your story in itself is unique because most women would not have given you another chance after you tried to talk to her and her friend. I’m sure other women can relate to being approached by a man and he seemed like (or even came right out and said) that he would take either one of us. That’s a turn off to most. So I think it’s important to point out that what works for some does not work for others. Just like I’ve heard some men say that they don’t mind a woman approaching them first. Not because he’s too shy, or not confident, but because he just simply doesn’t mind. And in your case, it was a turn off for women to approach you. Even with both of you already being in a relationship and having issues with your partners. Many will consider that a red flag. Prime examples of everybody’s story being different. (I’m not saying I’m going to shoot my shot first. I’m just aware that everybody is different.)
When he said, "then when she realized i was crazy😂😂😂😂😂🤣❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
You're so right! I never felt comfortable shooting my shot to men. I've always had men pursue me. That's how I was raised & that's how I carry myself. I regret taking advice from my now married friend to shoot my shot at my son's father's attorney in a different setting. My friend knew I had a crush on him & that we had a connection in the club when I used to club. She told me that it's okay to let him know I'm interested by approaching him. I asked him did he want my number & he said yes then took my number. I was so out of my comfort zone & I'll never do that anymore. If I ever see him again, I'll apologize to him. I don't care what society says... old school still works.
We have yo be wary of our "friend(s)" advice. They wanna sabotage your happiness and success. I am not saying your friend is this way, but it's something to consider
Thanks for sharing Tony. I believe God brought you and your wife together based off of what you shared here and in past videos, about randomly bumping into each other several times and more. That’s the God factor we need in our relationships and can’t ignore. God bless you and your family, in Jesus name💛
Listen to him ladies it’s not a good look
Thank you for another much needed perspective Mr. Gaskins
Preeeeach Tony! I'm 54yrs young and I'm old school. I truly believe that a man should pursue a woman!
As always, great message!! The one and only Man that GOD has ordained for you, will always pursue you “intentionally” and with a “purpose” (e.g. Marriage). Stay Blessed 🙏🏼
Needed this advice! I thought about “shooting my shot” to guys im attracted to. Your explanation makes a lot of sense though!
Nooo girl
Two type of men a grown boy & a grown man. A woman should never approach a man only the man should pursue the woman. The man is the hunter.
This is something I’ve had to learn.
Thank you for this!! I remember I went out for pizza and drinks with my homeboy and his brother..they literally noticed EVERY.SINGLE.WOMAN that walked by or through the door. I remember that solidifying for me to never approach a man. He sees you girl! Lol
On the other other end, a home girl of mine told me she noticed when it came to dudes that she approached, they never applied the pressure that the ones who approached her did.
Did business with a man about late 50s...he installed our solar heater. I overheard him telling my husband that he's been proposed to about five times but these women have come up short. So I asked him if it wasn't backwards that the women proposed? Isn't that what turned him off? He said no....roles have changed in these modern times. I was so disgusted. I think it's because the women shot they their shot but he says otherwise. 🤔
LOL he was lying. I don't believe that for a second he was just feeling insecure and trying to fake brag in front of your husband because he isn't married.
@@la6136 🤣🤣💯 I can believe that
@@la6136 Exactly
His content is always interesting. Thankyou for giving us the big brother talk
I totally agree. When women make themselves too available and easy, the man is not challenged to grow up because he is spoiled, which means he doesn't have to put work in to get a woman.
men look and don’t say nothing 😂 I just let them be
I’m not approaching no man. How will I noe if he’s really interested. I believe in you lead as a man I follow. Respectfully of course.
I tried it once in college. We both got what we wanted and that was it. Nuff said. Don't do it. Men SAY they want the woman to make the first move. 🙄 Think about it.
I will never Shoot my Shot, That's definitely a man's job baby, he might got a lil sugarcane in his Tank if he expects you to shoot your shot that's so Feminine to me, on fb this dude said Men want to be taking on Dates wth 🤣🤣
Tony has a video where he tells us of a man does not approach you it’s either 1- he’s taking 2- he’s not interested 3-he’s not ready that is absolutely the truth I shot my self after a men presented a compliment about me and walked out the door I gave my number to him through a co-worker and when he finally reached out I asked why he didn’t approach me and he said “ i said to myself I’m not looking for anything and I felt I was below your caliber “. From there I knew better but I continued to speak with him later on I realized I was being treated like less than what I deserved because I pursued him . Moving forward if you see me and don’t speak or speak and walk that’s fine I’m standing still because it does not feel good to be treated that way .
I love when Tony preach from the pulpit. Those V12 engines be mad loud lol lol
🤣🤣🤣
The Bible says: "A man that findeth" not a woman.
Spot on as always 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😇🙌🏾
Thank you so much for this one. For a long time I was confused about all this.
Aww Tony! I’ve missed your guidance! You helped me leave & get out of a really bad physically abusive relationship a few years ago! I loved that man but i thank GOD you were there! Im back listening-to your guidance again. Bless you! I feel as though im ready to dip my feet in the water but honestly i think its time to just do a long stint of celibacy bc human beings need love & affection! Its a human need! However, someone like me who spent over half my life with one man its just been difficult getting to a mindset of relationship or i meet a man & catch deep feelings to find out hes a cheater or we ain’t compatible so i suppose just leaving it in GODS hands at this point bc one thing ive come to realize-is time is too precious-to waste but on the other hand im terrified-to get my heart broken again or end up in a really unhealthy unhappy relationship just bc im sometimes lonley! Apology’s im sure you hear this same thing hundreds x a day! Bless you for being a loving family man & trying yo help & guide woman !
That is soooooo true!! Just happened to me very recently. Never said anything out of the norm no more than commenting on this person craftsmanship, the brotha got mad skills. But he sent me a telegram to talk. So Tony, you are right. No, I did not respond back because this person has a girlfriend and there is an age gap.
What is a telegram to talk?
@@j-tenn226 honey i don't even know.
men's logic never ceases to boggle my mind. good info tho
AMANDDDDD!
i try to tell my friends this! no one hears me tho!
Great stuff as always. I miss your ask Tony Gaskins series. Will these make a come back?
Talks With Tony are my absolute favorite!
No woman should be shooting her shot! 😂 Stop being Masculine out here!
Like TG said.. Watching his story consistently will definitely get his attention lol men are always looking
Only special occasions. I prefer the man 2 make the first move. 🍫💐🍿
Liberal (& white) gal here and before i even hear this video... and i say DON'T! No man deserves it in the beginning anyway. Except the ways TG says. Ive approached in younger years and was not desperate, but if it can be missunderstood , NO Thanks! Not trying to emasculate anyone anyway. Believe me it's been 11 yrs! LOL God Bless you Tony & all hearing this.
I get what your saying but to be fair, the confidence issue has to be on both parties. I feel like men and women should both be confident and they should know better. They should shoot their shot at each other in a sense. I'm not shooting my shot at a girl who appears uninterested. Just my opinion. It goes both ways.
Also, a man who doesn't shoot his shot could still be confident. Perhaps his focus is on his purpose and family. Men putting women on a pedestal has caused so many problems throughout history.
YES..... a man is the pursuer, or should be. I am desperate for a man.... but I know I cannot approach one. I know I have to lose weight, and then a man will approach me. These are just the cold hard facts. It is tacky and embarrassing for a woman to approach a man.
We have to leave it alone and let it be. When a woman is desperate, she will always end up with the wrong one and become a man's pawn...
😂😂😂😂😂when tony acts like a women OMG i cn laugh all day
Q# I see how in your story about how you and your wife started out you guys had broken up for a while. My question is how likely is it to end up getting back with your ex? Thanks.
And then she realize I was crazy and then she left me 😂😂😂😂 he threw that in there so casually 😂😂😂😂
Be Blessed 😊
Good evening & super Amen. 🙌🏽
Nice topic couch tony i appreciate you po teach god bless you po
He looking at you & not saying anything because he not attracted 😂😂😂😂now you lost me . Men who not attracted dont loook at ALL
I shot and missed.😢
I agree Tony!!!
See this isn’t making sense. It does but doesn’t. Here me out, I have men that follow me on Instagram, watch EVERY SINGLE POST consistently watching me, you mean to tell me that a straight man is following and watching a woman he is NOT attracted to ?? That makes zero sense. Now, one of the men that does this to me, is an NFL player(2 actually do this to me). Yes they could be taken (but it must not be too serious if they never post her- I’ve looked) but the attraction part doesn’t add up when they have a million options. I simply think , some men think they’re the prize so they don’t approach women nowadays.
But overall, I agree, I do not recommend women shooting their shot first, the few times I did, it didn’t work in my favor. But there are some women who it does work for, chad Johnson said his now fiancé sent him a DM first.
This is awesome 👍
The story of Ruth and Boaz from the Bible disagrees with the message from this video. I think it all depends on the type of Man, some Men 🤡🤡🤡 are just not worth it.
I beg to differ Ruth didn’t ‘shoot her shot’ instead she reciprocated the care Boaz showed her first from allowing her to pick up his leftover grains without consent, to giving her more grains for free, and told her not to pick in other fields but his. Then he even sought to know more about her among the workers of the field and her. Ruth being aware of all of this told her mother-in-law who believes Boaz is certainly interested in Ruth, advised she’d made herself known to him; “show interest in him, also”, as we’ll say. In which she did in the custom of those days. You can start from Ruth 2 for more details.
Ruth basically POSITIONED herself.
@@Sekhere If makjng yourself known is not 'shooting your shot' I dont know what it is
Ruth was in the presence of Boaz. She did not pursue him but made herself known. Positioning is key.
🔥🔥🔥
This feels a little absolutist, Tony. Is the story of Moses not the same as I understand it from the Quran? Moses, peace be upon him, was offered marriage to an elderly man's daughter, once he saw how hard working he was. It was another prophet.
We also have the story of Muhammad pbuh and Khadijah in Islamic tradition, but I know Christians will not be as familiar with this one. All in all I would never approach a man in this day and age. But there are godly men who were gifted marriage in Abrahamic traditions
Agree 100%
How do I do this for a gym crush? He comes near me a few times a week and I’ve noticed him noticing me. He’s never said anything though.
If you hadn't find him attractive you'd be calling him a creep, it seems he's making an effort play your part.
Go get in his vicinity and ask for some help
I miss your acting skills 🤣🤣
this gonna make some salty !
amen
Tony if you see this, or if anyone can let me know, in this video when Tony met his wife working in the mall, he asked her if she could have friends. Has Tony talked on whether men really want to be friends with women??
Yeah he has
Yes he has. He doesn’t agree with women having “friends” when looking for a mate. He explains that men ain’t “friends” cuz they will have sex with their friend if there is a possibility.
He explains that he had an unattractive female friend back in the day. I think he eventually tried to kiss her even though he wasn’t attracted to her because in general that’s what men do. But she said something like, “ Ewe Tony we’re friends.”
And that was that
Yes he has and he said that men are not really your friend, they’re just waiting on their turn/time to make a move.
Yes, and false pretense. Don't believe men when they tell you this. Snake in the grass...
Yes type it in the search bar. He has a couple videos covering this topic.
As women, we shouldn’t even WANT a man who doesn’t have this mindset.
But it’s sad that a lot of women think that these type of men deserve us!
Nobody deserves anything other than what they've earned.
@@j-tenn226 you don’t deserve something just because you’re a woman.
We have too much to lose to shoot our shot ladies! He needs to earn his right to be by my side and lead our future. A man will never value what he Doesnt work for. Just my humble opinion. Be blessed 🙌
All facts! Just really be seen. Women approaching men is nasty work
I let God shoot my shot, I will never pursue a man.
SHE SHOULDN'T. ALTHOUGH I HAVE DONE IT IN THE PAST IN MY 20'S.
There are guys who like my stuff, respond to a story with a comment, but don’t directly pursue and continue a conversation and ask to meet up. It’s like they want attention
It’s not “like”. That’s what it is. They just want attention
I have had men add me on social media, look at my story, and not message me. Like who tf are you and why add me if I’ve never met you in real life? At least introduce yourself fool.
I am true old fashion and don't have the courage nor desire to approach a guy but I see the women that have no shame in approaching a man dating all the time.
Well you should learn from them . Closed mouths don’t get fed
Past coworker of mine offered his # to me and I reached out. Ever since he’s been sending msgs about wanting to visit me at my house and watching a movie together. He told me he has no plans of trying anything w/me but I don’t believe him. We haven’t hung out at all yet. Is this a red flag?
Yeeeeees RED FLAG.
Big flag that he wants to meet in YOUR HOME first. 🤔 🚩 when there’s plenty of outside activities r available
Suggest meeting a public place
YES! He’s definitely going to try to get you on your bike (back). He should have at least offered to meet up for coffee or a slice of pizza in a public place, not at your home. You don’t know him like you think you do. Please don’t let him in your personal space. 🙏🏾🥺
The offering of his number to *you,* instead of him asking for yours is the first red flag to me - speaks to his seriousness in wanting to get to know you.
If yall are just messaging and not talking - Red flag #2
Wanting to come over and hang out instead of asking you out is the death nail red flag #3
Sweetheart block him, free up your line and your mind for someone else 'cause he ain't it.
Hi Tony! I finally got the courage to start my TikTok page and slowly preparing to transition to RUclips. I find myself at odds with the mindsets of our people when it comes to love and relationships. I heed your advice when it comes to letting men pursue and women not shooting their shot, but it’s so overwhelming to see men say that women should initiate. I try to speak to them with love about this but they get nasty very quickly. Is there a way that women can speak to men to help affirm “he who finds a wife” or is this a man to man conversation to be had?
There are guys who like my stuff, respond to a story with a comment, but don’t directly pursue and continue a conversation and ask to meet up. It’s like they want attention
Alot of yall are delusional as hell. You ever thought wow he is trying to get views and sell you something. Take it from a guy who is successful. It doesnt matter who approaches. Alot of you chicks let the guy approach you and still get played. Go after what you want then you will see if that guy really likes you or not. Just like how men do it. Ive got no problem approaching women and no problem with women approachikg me. Alot of this is scared of rejection. Alot of yall will be rejected brutally. If you do approach men. Thats what happens when you approach.
According to the word of God, the man seeks his wife and find a good thing.
The man has the instict and urge to pursue, and prove he wants more than sex, its the womens instict to observe and analyze his behavior. If the woman pursues she can not appropriately gage his true intrest in her
Thank you for covering this topic!
Never....... and it works Not to shoot yr shot....are you kidding me, love yr channel Tony.
MAKE IT PLAIN TONY!!!
He speaking 100% truth. There are unknowingly men who play pity or shallow (like my ex) bt then when he switched roles it was anger aggression. Cant be switching roles like he said, we women cant go doing what it takes to be the provider, then take a back seat". Same thing for men thou. Most men who play the back seat role and let the woman take charge, eventually surprise the ish out of her and ultimately abuses her. Thats from experience and from watching content on tv.. So yup let him hunt lead...💗💗💗💗
Exactly Linda Love!!! In reproduction the sperm chases after the egg its not the other way around.
@@crystalcormier9376 whew good one!💗💗💗💗💗
I know how this finna go before i watch it, cause its the reason I stopped approaching men online😮💨💗💗💗💗💗💗
I shot my shot and ended up with him for 16 years. Although I had no idea we went to high school together and he had a crush on me but was too scared to talk to me.
Are you guys still together?
As soon as I heard that conversation I thought about what you would say.
What's funny is....when I saw the title of this video, and it mentioned how a woman should shoot her shot, I instantly said out loud BY NOT SHOOTING IT. I agree wholeheartedly with everything said in this video. And the truth is the truth🙏🏾
I think it’s true but i think at the job it’s different guys don’t normally approach girls because they be scared of sexual harassment charges which is very understandable so they would prefer if the girl says something
I was shooting my shot because i was tired of waiting and got rejected i will not do that again because like he said if he don’t approach you your either not his type or he is taken and he don’t have the confidence to approach you then he is not ready
Wish I could like this a thousand times!!! Thank you Tony
Not you went for the friend too 😂😂😂😂😂
💯💯💯
Agreed & appreciated 🙏🏽