How Often Should Couples Have Sex? (And Other Spicy Questions)

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  • Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024

Комментарии • 500

  • @claudiaabadi3014
    @claudiaabadi3014 8 месяцев назад +304

    My father used to go for a walk when he had a disagreement with my mother. I once asked him about it, and his answer was, " I do not want to say something I can not take back." A very wise attitude

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 8 месяцев назад +8

      Yep. Words once spoken and actions once taken, can never be brought back. If you're at the point where you're so angry you're about to say or do something hurtful, it's best to walk away until you can calm down and be reasonable. I live by that.

    • @80sbaby___baby70
      @80sbaby___baby70 7 месяцев назад +1

      Thats actually the worse thing you can do . Never back down . She will lose respect for you.

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 7 месяцев назад +9

      @@80sbaby___baby70 um, no. I lose respect for the man who yells out hateful things instead of taking a minute to calm down. I have a lot of respect for the men who show restraint during a heated argument.

    • @detectivekimble6932
      @detectivekimble6932 7 месяцев назад +5

      @@80sbaby___baby70 Even from a masculine perspective, that is wrong. Losing control of your emotions is a weak move and she will lose respect when she see emotional incontinence from her man. If you casually say I'm taking a break from this, you exhibit control and sometimes she will feel regretful or even childish depending on what she said. Anyway, I'm okay with the movement of returning masculinity to relationships but don't make her the enemy. It is your partner in life still.

    • @juliehiggins6466
      @juliehiggins6466 7 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@80sbaby___baby70A man who has to show he is 'in control' actually does EXACTLY the opposite. He proves he's a bully and would rather destroy his wife to preserve his ego

  • @rob21
    @rob21 Год назад +308

    If both want sex a lot, they have sex a lot. If neither want sex, then it's not a problem. The "how often" sex question only matters if there is a discrepancy in desire. For that, there is indeed a number. If one person wants sex all the time, then I'd say once a week is a hard minimum. Less than that, and somebody's needs aren't being met.

    • @anthill1510
      @anthill1510 10 месяцев назад +5

      Bam!

    • @mylesgray3470
      @mylesgray3470 9 месяцев назад +9

      Absolutely. Don’t ignore this issue early in a relationship because it only becomes a bigger issue as time goes on. Work on your sex appeal/game and if that doesn’t work, you might just be with the wrong person.

    • @hllymchll
      @hllymchll 8 месяцев назад +10

      bro my husband and I were fine until we had kids. now both of us are always too tired to do anything with/for each other. how sad is that lol we're only in our 30s and have the libido of 70 year olds

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 8 месяцев назад +11

      ​@hllymchll My hubby and I are the opposite. He's 50 and I'm 48. If it's not at least 3 times a week he acts like he's going to die. When we're done he asks me if I'm trying to unalive him. I tell him he asked for it. Meanwhile our 14 year old pounds on the door saying "stop that! I don't want another sibling!" 😂

    • @zombine7103
      @zombine7103 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@hllymchll damn thats really sad i wish the best for both of you.

  • @kissed_by_sunshine_10
    @kissed_by_sunshine_10 9 месяцев назад +118

    I really like this dude. He's such a bro. He's the therapist a man needs. He's a beast!

  • @liannemarie2504
    @liannemarie2504 10 месяцев назад +150

    I am very blessed to say that my husband and I had all these hard talks before we got married. We talked about our values and how many kids we wanted and how we wanted to race them. I think it was an amazing thing but it just happened to organically. We've been married almost 12 years and have three beautiful children together. I am still so excited when this man walks through the door at the end of the day and I honestly can't take my eyes off of him. But I always tell everyone, it isn't up to me I didn't do anything, God just put him in front of me and there was nothing I could do but love him

    • @stephengallagher2209
      @stephengallagher2209 9 месяцев назад +7

      You raced your kids? You monsters!

    • @liannemarie2504
      @liannemarie2504 9 месяцев назад +6

      @stephengallagher2209 hey, life's tough you better learn to keep up or you're going to get left behind! If you're not first, your last!

    • @watchfulone9717
      @watchfulone9717 9 месяцев назад

      I think he was trying to say raised...​@@liannemarie2504

    • @MissIngridsclass
      @MissIngridsclass 9 месяцев назад +5

      Oh my gosh I love this!

    • @chelseabarker2250
      @chelseabarker2250 8 месяцев назад +3

      Beautiful story. I feel blessed in many similar ways and getting excited when he comes home every day spoke to my heart. 10 years in and it just gets better every day! ❤

  • @serenityjewel
    @serenityjewel 7 месяцев назад +35

    His description about intimacy made me tear up. I owe this guy a huge apology. I stereotyped him as a “bro” and he’s a really intelligent man.

  • @crewboy23
    @crewboy23 2 года назад +168

    In regards to knowing weather to fight. During my engagement period, when random family members and strangers found out i was getting married, almost all of them said to fight for the relationship as hard as you can b/c the grass is not greener on the other side. Some of them said leaving their spouse made them realize how much their spouse loved them when the love has now disappeared.

    • @weekendnomad5038
      @weekendnomad5038 2 года назад +15

      Right! My ex husband had a two year affair on me.. divorced me and was begging to come back in two weeks
      I honestly didn’t know about any of this until a few years back. He hid it well

    • @DallyDucky
      @DallyDucky 2 года назад

      😊😊😊

    • @fairlyenjoyable
      @fairlyenjoyable Год назад

      ​@@weekendnomad5038I'm sorry if this is out of line, and you of course don't have to answer, but how did you find out in the end?

    • @peacelove7437
      @peacelove7437 Год назад +5

      Divorced was the best thing I ever did.

    • @mylesgray3470
      @mylesgray3470 9 месяцев назад +4

      When you separate and immediately feel a burden has been lifted, get a divorce. So glad I did. Should have happened sooner.

  • @bkuyk9317
    @bkuyk9317 4 месяца назад +10

    When fighting ask yourself: are you arguing to be right, or arguing to make a difference. Adopt a mindset of making a difference.

  • @alittlepieceofearth
    @alittlepieceofearth 2 года назад +87

    I'm not even married-- single gal here-- but what he said about "you can't start a new project until the last one is finished"-- I have totally had to make that rule for myself to keep from driving myself crazy. John must be my brother from another mother.

    • @BlueDauntless
      @BlueDauntless 9 месяцев назад

      I need this in my life.

    • @carolblair2845
      @carolblair2845 9 месяцев назад

      Ok…. My husband died 2 years ago after a 46 year marriage. 8 months ago I started the carnivore way of eating, and one of the “benefits “ is an increased libido! I’m 77 year old widow….what the heck am I going to do with that??!! That should just be history at this stage of life😡

    • @bestrong1240
      @bestrong1240 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@carolblair2845what ever pushes your button,will work

  • @benibunny01
    @benibunny01 2 года назад +50

    Wow, the comment about “playing a game to not lose makes you play timid” incredible advice!

  • @IFBBProYeo
    @IFBBProYeo 8 месяцев назад +14

    Planning intimacy is actually a GREAT tool! There's a TON of women have a higher drive than their husband. You might feel strange, but trust me when you know it's coming & when, you dont have to worry about the thoughts of "how about tonight? No? Ok 😢Next day- how about tonight? No? Ok." Getting hurt and frustrated over and over with no end in sight. No trying to be a mind reader or get your hopes up just to get rejected. You get so much headspace and heart space back. And, you can make it even better with planning. & Even if its not a big to-do, you're coming together no matter what. Keep that communication open.
    Once you do it you'll be glad you did!

  • @marandamartin9377
    @marandamartin9377 2 года назад +33

    I love the rapid questions!! Great idea! I hope you can make this a weekly segment!

  • @jeanr8359
    @jeanr8359 Год назад +11

    Liked this….. I/we try not to fight…. My husband is someone with a history of ‘winning’ fights…. Smart and quick witted. Nothing really hurtful has been said…. Because I warned him those ‘words spoken in anger’ never leave the relationship. I have likely done more to make him angry in the initial parts of our relationship…. Once he was very angry with me and most likely rightfully so…. I apologized but he wanted to engage while angry. I wouldn’t bite and a few days later we were more able to discuss when air wasn’t as charged.

  • @wesleyallen1214
    @wesleyallen1214 Год назад +6

    Walking away can add fuel to the fire but it’s still on the person who wants to argue to light the fire. Walking away can be used to manipulate, but it’s a great way to keep yourself from over reacting

  • @Shadowwind4
    @Shadowwind4 2 года назад +33

    This was a fun segment to watch I hope the keep doing it every so often

  • @flightsnotfeelings5867
    @flightsnotfeelings5867 11 месяцев назад +15

    The question about being friends with your husbands friend’s wives hits home but to a harder extent. My 4 sister in laws hang out all the time without me and ignore my invites. It’s hard but after trying to reach out. You can’t keep disappointing yourself and let it go.

  • @jeffjohnson3620
    @jeffjohnson3620 2 года назад +7

    14:50 is the start of the question you’d like to know in the header of the video.

  • @BadddDoggg-id4po
    @BadddDoggg-id4po 10 месяцев назад +25

    After almost 30 years of marriage and here we are, my wife is going through menopause and we don't have kids, I always wanted kids. This is huge, you can't go back, you can't start over, and at some point you can't ever have kids because of biology. Not sure I would have left her because of it, but it's huge.

    • @DanielMontoya87
      @DanielMontoya87 8 месяцев назад +3

      You can always adopt or knock up some other girl lol

    • @jenniferblake3296
      @jenniferblake3296 8 месяцев назад +9

      Both of my bother-in-laws wives did that to them. They wanted kids so bad, their wives knew it, but never told them they didn't. It's so sad and makes me angry for them.

    • @bonjovi2792
      @bonjovi2792 7 месяцев назад +3

      ​@DanielMontoya87
      If he's been married for 30 years, his swimmers likely aren't very healthy and chances of kid being messed up are not good.

    • @kellibuzzard9431
      @kellibuzzard9431 7 месяцев назад +3

      Did you discuss the issue before marriage, or...?

    • @dogood7337
      @dogood7337 5 месяцев назад

      Happy that you didn't left and happy you didn't have kids because the world is overpopulated, we've reached 8 BILLION and we are already using the resources of MORE THAN 1 PLANET AND A HALF EACH YEAR! Our mere presence on this planet is simply DEVASTATING on all levels! So many arguments AGAINST having children that I am amazed that people still have them.

  • @desareecrane8734
    @desareecrane8734 2 года назад +42

    That was a lot of fun and at the same time informative to watch! 😊

  • @madalynmull1681
    @madalynmull1681 Год назад +198

    Fight naked😂 its hard to be mad at each other if you naked!

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa 2 года назад +46

    Discuss whether or not you want children BEFORE you friggin get married! How many times to have sex? Don't frigging count or keep score! But do make time for closeness with each other. You may have sex, you may not. But work on being affectionate with each other. The rest will work itself out. I like these lightening rounds!

    • @crewboy23
      @crewboy23 2 года назад +6

      I wanted kids for the longest time. Now with how much peace in my life i have with my wife and a cat, has me doubting ever having them. Talked to my wife and she feels very similar. We agreed to revisit the topic in about a years time. The point of this is that things can change about kids before and during marriage.

    • @9liveslisa
      @9liveslisa 2 года назад +6

      @@crewboy23 That is so true, but I still advise to discuss this topic before you get married. At least it will probably put you in a similar zone.

  • @melissazabower339
    @melissazabower339 2 года назад +26

    Re: the question about DIY -- my dad remodeled our house from attic on down over the course of 12 years. NOT ONE ROOM IS COMPLETELY FINISHED. Baseboards missing or inside of closets unpainted or a corner doesn't have the new flooring. Then he left the marriage and started over with a new house and a new wife. He's 67 and does the yard rather than the house. Love my dad but...

    • @8shroomfairy8
      @8shroomfairy8 9 месяцев назад +2

      So... as a wife of this said behavior should I be worried. 35 y f, been with each other 18 years. Always unfinished projects, money thrown on tools and items that never get used.. laser cutter, 3d printer, never used. drills like big drills outside and also saws. He bought cabinets in Oct, not installed, never stained the doors like he said he would last month. He honestly sat around. Dishwasher bought Nov not hooked up. Pontoon boat outside for 3 years disassembled, old parts in yard, new parts in garage, flooring, he hired bro to redo. Me and my 17 yo son are now cleaning the yard. Throwing the old boat seats away from 2 years ago when he ripped them up. The list goes on. This is just the least 4 years of started and unfinished projects that cost a lot of money and literally nothing is being done with any of it. I have way too much to say I'm stopping now. 🧚‍♀️💞🌎

    • @Kelly_Mae
      @Kelly_Mae 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@8shroomfairy8could be adhd or depression

    • @courtneyborchak4813
      @courtneyborchak4813 7 месяцев назад +1

      Adhd..

  • @lulaslife
    @lulaslife 2 года назад +46

    More more more lightning rounds. I enjoyed the short on point answers. Thanks Doc.

  • @thishappyhousewife9341
    @thishappyhousewife9341 4 месяца назад +1

    The diy project thing is spot on. When my husband replaced the roof and did all the work on the egress window, I wanted to leave. No repair or project on the house is worth your sanity and health. Have the budget and get help with it.

  • @OUrNit03
    @OUrNit03 8 месяцев назад +15

    There's nothing worse than being in a marriage where there's no intimacy. A relationship that becomes more of a coparenting/roommate situation is painful. Just tough when the other person checks out. Im living that as we speak.

    • @a.j.plummer8826
      @a.j.plummer8826 8 месяцев назад +3

      Been there. Glad it's ending.

    • @Sublimemelancholy
      @Sublimemelancholy 8 месяцев назад

      Maybe You are the reason that she is checked out. Have you thought about that?

    • @thorie79
      @thorie79 7 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@SublimemelancholyAs soon as a relationship becomes an effort competition or blaming game, it's over. Not only is it antagonistic, but what if one person is right? So now, it's their fault. Congratulations, you've created a dynamic in your relationship that is about power and not love. Committing to cooperation, above all else is key. That means your partner's faults are your own. By blaming, you are isolating them on an island. You should accept their fault as your own problem, and sympathetically and cooperatively ask as a couple, "here's something we can work on together - it's both our responsibility to work on it no matter what" instead of "you have this x issue that you and only you have to fix".

    • @Spookyaki1
      @Spookyaki1 6 месяцев назад +4

      @@Sublimemelancholyor maybe it’s her

    • @no_regerts5176
      @no_regerts5176 4 месяца назад +1

      I just go fishing.

  • @catherinemccright1256
    @catherinemccright1256 8 месяцев назад +5

    my husband is the type who walks away and ear;y on that triggered such strong abandonment issues in me i would chase and fight to the death and it would always blow up in my face, when he walks away he has to give me a hug or some kind of acknowledgement that he loves me and hes coming back, thats helped alot and im learning to not to chase and that productive conversations can be had where i feel heard later on! tooks us the first 3 years of our relationship to figure out but weve come out on the other side even better freinds!

    • @thorie79
      @thorie79 7 месяцев назад

      You are lucky that he's willing to adjust to issues that you're working on. Hopefully you get better for him. It's amazing what people do for love, don't take it for granted.

  • @heatherbrady6679
    @heatherbrady6679 Год назад +11

    The thought of going out with a group of people terrifies me. I go out to eat with my workmates during work time and I'm married with no kids. I have a small dog and occasionally babysit for my niece and nephew. Husband and I go out to eat and go on vacations. That's all I need or want. I'm a huge introvert.

    • @EneEri
      @EneEri Год назад +1

      Are you Gen Z? I’m Gen Z and I’m this way. Statistically many of us are that way.

  • @bartathalon1
    @bartathalon1 2 года назад +29

    I wouldnt do DIY projects if the cost to hire someone wasn’t so exorbitant. I wanted a wider header put in over a doorway, contractor wanted $3000. I wanted a 16ft wall built, contractors wanted over $10,000 ... it would take my wife and I years to save up enough money to get all of our projects done if we didn’t do it ourselves.

    • @Grognarthebarb
      @Grognarthebarb Год назад +3

      Yeah it's like it took me 3 months working at it bit by bit. It'd take 2 years to save enough to hire someone

    • @xstevenx8132
      @xstevenx8132 7 месяцев назад +1

      I actually think think he swung and missed this one. It depends on the couple and they feel about it. I have family friends that absolutely love diy projects and do them together to the point where they started flipping houses because they love the time they get to spend together doing it.

  • @cosmicshy637
    @cosmicshy637 2 года назад +14

    Love the lightening rounds! Great job, Dr. D! 🔥

  • @pocmouse3909
    @pocmouse3909 2 года назад +103

    How do you maintain intimacy when young kids are at home? Easy, Lock the door. Next question.

    • @dianagabriela3287
      @dianagabriela3287 2 года назад +15

      Or just wait till in their beds asleep .. every kid sleeps

    • @sydcash1626
      @sydcash1626 2 года назад +21

      @@dianagabriela3287 a combo of both lol but when they are awake and we "disappear" in a maximum of 5 minutes they come looking for us.

    • @jimv77
      @jimv77 Год назад

      ​@@dianagabriela328799% of the time the wife is also asleep by that time...sorry, just being honest....

    • @snsn7251
      @snsn7251 Год назад

      😂😂😂

    • @carligarman7241
      @carligarman7241 9 месяцев назад +4

      😂😂 Too many times we dont even remember to close the door. (Usually we are alone or kids are presumed asleep.) My kids have learned when to leave us alone and move on to a room usually to game with headphones 🎧 😂😂😂 Keep the bedroom active always! Babies and toddlers can still be in the room. They dont know whats happening... but maybe toddlers should be asleep 😅

  • @wooannie9592
    @wooannie9592 2 года назад +21

    I love this segment please do more!

  • @motoman869
    @motoman869 2 года назад +13

    Kids are a challenge but some of the best people on earth.

  • @mitsubachi6865
    @mitsubachi6865 9 месяцев назад +7

    Intimacy with young kids tip I heard from a mother of 4 : do it in the laundry room. The kids associate this place with chores so they never come in this part of the house. Plus turn the dryer on for extra camouflage. It works for her.

    • @evieblue959
      @evieblue959 8 месяцев назад +1

      Dadvocate viewer?

    • @benypopa4008
      @benypopa4008 2 месяца назад

      That s great advice actually❤

  • @marvinbeiler4566
    @marvinbeiler4566 Год назад +5

    5:30
    Way too many people use walking away as a form of manipulation and control. I personally hate it but I’m willing to listen to people who can use it when they know they’re in no shape to talk but they better communicate that correctly to the person they’re working with otherwise they are completely controlling the situation, I think it takes a stronger person to stay and talk carefully then it goes to walk away. Anyone can walk away. Just my two cents John nothing personal.

  • @22MrBigdog
    @22MrBigdog 8 месяцев назад +10

    You have to discuss stuff like having kids and values at the very beginning of a relationship so you do not waste each others time

    • @AAA-vk9vp
      @AAA-vk9vp 7 месяцев назад +2

      Your thinking can change 5 10 years later

    • @garyaanderson214
      @garyaanderson214 6 месяцев назад +1

      45 years in wife from large family. Us 2 kids planned shut down baby factory. Had goals and ideals talked it out we married young 20-19.I was coming from my Mom being married 5 times.We wanted long term success. I worked rotating shift work wasn't easy weekends and holidays I was gone alot.We wanted our kids family life to be what ours wasn't when we were growing up.We are very much in love and made it through.We laid out a road map early on.We are retired and enjoying grand children.

  • @hardygunsalus9897
    @hardygunsalus9897 9 месяцев назад +3

    Walking away is only a good strategy for a long term relationship if you are going to come back to it. It’s frustrating when someone always walks away from tough conversations and then the conversation never happens. By this logic If All tough conversations are looked at as a “fight” by one or both of the people then there’s no time to have tough convos.

  • @smcb2202
    @smcb2202 8 месяцев назад +2

    First answer was totally a Jordan Peterson answer!! Love it!

  • @yeislyntorres5304
    @yeislyntorres5304 Год назад +26

    My husband and I do it once a week. Its been like this for 6 years. We do spend intimate time every day after the kid goes to bed. Is a routine. Doing it once a week makes me miss him and he misses me so every time we do it is amazing and fun. I dress up for him etc and we pretend that we are different people every time. It works for us.

    • @kidforeverplz
      @kidforeverplz Год назад +3

      Is it always on the same day and it’s scheduled or is it random and just so happens to always be once a week?

    • @yeislyntorres5304
      @yeislyntorres5304 Год назад

      @@kidforeverplz is random but is always once a week after we put my toddler to bed

    • @andrewsnyder9262
      @andrewsnyder9262 10 месяцев назад

      We keep it spicy like this also. There are no limits to fantasizing and we take advantage of that.

  • @stephen902
    @stephen902 Год назад +17

    I never thought about having kids until I had one. Is the greatest thing one can do. It’s different than taking care of someone else’s kids.

    • @cleliaparnell8743
      @cleliaparnell8743 Год назад +9

      I think that having children is one of the best things in life. You start seeing everyone differently like " oh! they were a child too" and you know how vulnerable we all can be, like your own little children. Makes you be kinder and want to listen . Having children grows your love for everyone. Does this make sense?

  • @KidCity1985
    @KidCity1985 2 года назад +74

    John, you will be a better husband and father if you hire a pro to finish those jobs.

    • @marandamartin9377
      @marandamartin9377 2 года назад +8

      I agree. When we stay in our lane and put those hours in our business and hire out experts to do projects. We save time and money. Plus, it's done right the first time by an expert in their feild.

    • @johnmininger7472
      @johnmininger7472 Год назад +3

      ​@marandamartin9377 - The truth is many people can't afford to have everything done by a pro. It's great if you can.

    • @no_regerts5176
      @no_regerts5176 4 месяца назад

      ⁠@@marandamartin9377My home, and everything on it, is my “lane”. I don’t know why people are so averse to fixing things themselves. Yeah, if you’re a moron, you might mess it up. Otherwise, it’s not hard.

  • @viralfilms-co-uk
    @viralfilms-co-uk 5 месяцев назад +2

    I can assure everyone that after a 17yr marriage (she cheated multiple times) and a 5yr relationship with the most toxic sadistic narcissistic woman I've ever met and at age 42 I finally met someone genuine, genuinely loving, caring, kind hearted and non-abusive, we have not argued once in 3.5yrs, not even come close, there is no need to and most importantly we both now know as fact that if you are arguing with your partner it means you don't fit properly and they are not 'the one'.

  • @araineacutebrownnurse7315
    @araineacutebrownnurse7315 2 года назад +15

    Dr. Delony gives such great advice!

  • @BaajAdebule
    @BaajAdebule Год назад +5

    I love your videos/podcast so much. It has really helped me in a number of ways, even though I just found you a few months ago I think. Just want to say thank you for doing this and God bless you. And kudos as well to the rest of your team, your producer is great.

  • @mlyl7682
    @mlyl7682 2 года назад +9

    I love these rapid fire videos

  • @Marsha_Ann
    @Marsha_Ann Год назад +21

    I honestly don't know wat to do about my own intimacy problems. Most men would LOVE to have a woman with my high sex drive, and yet my own man recently has stopped with me... Any advice for that? To me, a normal and healthy amount of times to have sex with your partner when cohabitating with them should be at least 3X a week on average, but I would prefer at least 4-5 nights a week. I will never for the life of me understand how couples only get it in like 1-2x A MONTH 😵‍💫 Theres no sexual relationship there. And sex is highly significant in maintaining a long term relationship.

    • @peacelove7437
      @peacelove7437 Год назад +5

      I agree! From a divorced woman when I was 44, always wanted sex. He had ED, no sex for 6 years 😔. Sex is super important. There was also no other intimacy, hugging, cuddling , talking in bed, etc. He was unhealthy, addicted to pain killers and alcohol.... divorced was the best thing..

    • @Marsha_Ann
      @Marsha_Ann Год назад +2

      @@LindaQueLeenda only 4, same age as my sister. He's 37 and I'm about to be 33 next month.

    • @anthonydelgiudice3245
      @anthonydelgiudice3245 Год назад +1

      my neighbors are like that the husband will come over and complain its once a month i would go crazy lol

    • @Marsha_Ann
      @Marsha_Ann Год назад +2

      @@anthonydelgiudice3245 I smell a divorce. After he's caught cheating lol.

    • @bittehiereinfugen7723
      @bittehiereinfugen7723 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@Marsha_AnnMaybe he has a porn addiction?
      Read the book "Your Brain on Porn", maybe you will recognize problems there.
      My husband was addicted to porn, which is unfortunately now a very widespread problem.
      Good luck!

  • @swackhammer2139
    @swackhammer2139 2 года назад +24

    12:20 My wife feels this, they exclude her from everything. But they suck, so we got new friends.

    • @nancyglezhdez
      @nancyglezhdez Год назад +2

      There’s probably a reason why!!! She’s probably weird!!

    • @swackhammer2139
      @swackhammer2139 Год назад +2

      @Jada She is kind of weird. But she's not "Upload creepy ketchup commercials with terrible music" weird. That's a whole other level of akward.

    • @toxxtalks_sidequests
      @toxxtalks_sidequests 6 месяцев назад

      @@swackhammer2139
      😂😂😂

  • @Ksee89
    @Ksee89 Год назад +10

    5:47 "can you cheat proof a marriage?" On my phone this question played, then RUclips cut to a commercial break where the commentator actually said "garbage day!" 😂
    I thought it was John saying that at first 😂

  • @bunnybubs757
    @bunnybubs757 Год назад +1

    Its your body telling you protect yourself from childhood trauma, a bad first love , a selfish mate , you don’t have to make him happy , your body is telling you it’s your fault , it’s not , it’s your horrible dad
    Its All
    About the body Teaching you and your Brain will
    Follow
    Your body is in protective mode
    Your body is telling you what to do

  • @kaizenborntowin
    @kaizenborntowin 2 года назад +18

    What advice would you give to a young single male looking for a relationship?
    Thank you for starting with that question! :)

    • @auroramothergoddess
      @auroramothergoddess 2 года назад +2

      Right I hate when RUclipsrs put something in the title and we have to fish for the clip

    • @grizzlybear2702
      @grizzlybear2702 2 года назад +5

      You must have a 8/10 good looking face and must be at least 190cm tall. Wether or not you find a relationship is all about your looks

    • @auroramothergoddess
      @auroramothergoddess 2 года назад +3

      @@grizzlybear2702 for women it’s usually about looks and being submissive if you’re a man it’s about how much money you have to be able to provide if a man can’t provide they take on a feminine role

    • @nouton7432
      @nouton7432 2 года назад +1

      have rules what are you standard are follow does rules, exercise try to look good, eat good/diet, u dont really need money it is pretty simple. ofc some girls go only for guys with money but if you have normal standard you don't even give them a chance use internet for dating, it is more about finding the right one then finding any girls that wanna be you

    • @I_like_turtles_67
      @I_like_turtles_67 2 года назад +5

      Stay single.
      Stack you money.
      Stay out of debt and if you need some loving. Hire a pro off a site.
      The 🐈 you pay for is the cheapest 🐈 you can buy.

  • @laurajanesherman9126
    @laurajanesherman9126 Год назад +3

    Lots of practical relationship advice!

  • @305jakec
    @305jakec 9 месяцев назад +1

    Fighting with a love ones just creates more tension and drama.. avoid it and talk when ur calm .

  • @magali44276
    @magali44276 2 года назад +13

    Dr. John! Could you call my husband and tell him personally about DIY projects!!?? 😂. Thank you

  • @jill9606
    @jill9606 2 года назад +51

    For the intimacy question… step 1: don’t let the kids sleep in your bed!

    • @joesoap1727
      @joesoap1727 2 года назад +8

      WISE woman & fortunate husband

    • @jill9606
      @jill9606 2 года назад

      @@joesoap1727 lol thanks

    • @robertfisher2844
      @robertfisher2844 Год назад +1

      How true is that 😆

    • @robertfisher2844
      @robertfisher2844 Год назад

      I'm sure it's caused loads of issues between marriages over the years .unfortunately, it's part of life. You have to juggle around these things .

    • @dsmalls5748
      @dsmalls5748 4 месяца назад

      Yes!

  • @motoman869
    @motoman869 2 года назад +1

    Fighting hmm? Its important to fight over important things or it could crush the family. You fight fair. No physical violence. If you're heading towards ruin you need to fight to turn the ship or else you're all goin down. Early in the video he jokingly said divorce. Let no man separate what God has joined together. The two best be getting right with God. Time shows that Truth prevails.

  • @lesliemarvin160
    @lesliemarvin160 8 месяцев назад +3

    3 times a week at least. We do about 5-6. My husband needs that connection so i honor it.

    • @benypopa4008
      @benypopa4008 2 месяца назад

      Lucky husband u got there.And I would add you muat be happy too,I mean as long as you make him happy ,it only feels normal that he does you good too and makes you happy as well.🎉

  • @cg741graf5
    @cg741graf5 Год назад +3

    Start by realizing men and women are different and that’s a good thing.

  • @rebekah4761
    @rebekah4761 9 месяцев назад +3

    The kid question could also have fostering as an alternative too.

  • @janicewright4007
    @janicewright4007 11 месяцев назад +5

    When you fight, fight naked.

  • @brandonbeck1946
    @brandonbeck1946 2 года назад +3

    These are awesome!

  • @sommersmith8054
    @sommersmith8054 2 месяца назад

    I think if you don’t use it you lose it. It’s a habit you either get in to or you don’t and the momentum continues from there. I like his answer about being intentional

  • @cassk5147
    @cassk5147 Год назад +1

    Love Dr. J’s advice!

  • @Zen11819
    @Zen11819 Месяц назад

    I’m 27 and could really use some advice.
    In the past, I’ve loved someone deeply, she ended up leaving, we have been together for like 5 years. So i thought she’s the one for me. And i didn’t expect that she gonna leave me. And it’s been tough to keep going through that kind of heartbreak. I don’t want to feel that way again. Now, I’m with an amazing girlfriend. The best person I’ve ever been with and I don’t want to lose her. But because of my past experiences, I feel afraid to fully open up and love her as much as I could. It’s almost like my subconscious is warning me that if I love her too much, I’ll end up getting hurt again. We’ve been together for almost 3 years now. I’m so comfortable and happy around her. The question is it’s just my fear or is there anything i can do? I don’t really know.
    Any advice on how to move past this fear would really mean a lot.

  • @jill9606
    @jill9606 2 года назад +3

    I agree about the DIY advice. I would also add that you should be willing to hire professionals for some projects.

  • @bethanyreimer
    @bethanyreimer 8 месяцев назад +2

    I'd say my husband and I are about at the 11-13x per week 😊 almost 3 years into our marriage and I've got a 4 year old and we've got a 3 month old, and we make it a priority for sure 😊

    • @wendi6386
      @wendi6386 7 месяцев назад

      😮

    • @BlahBlahPoop617
      @BlahBlahPoop617 3 месяца назад

      @@wendi6386
      What a great wife you sound like. You sound like you know what you’re doing.

  • @LtGrandpoobah
    @LtGrandpoobah 2 года назад +12

    Question: How often should couples have sex? at 14:50
    Answer: Every day, unless you both agree to NOT do it that day. The healthiest position to be in is to operate on the understanding that every day ends with sex. If you both get in bed and say "I'm exhausted, not tonight" then you can snuggle your way into a good night's sleep. Otherwise, just do it.

    • @oneperson5760
      @oneperson5760 2 года назад +17

      You are not a mature person. Sex every day is not even desirable for a lot of married people. Not every married couple is young and healthy. Not every married couple has the time when theyre not exhausted, if someone is working 16 hours a day. Some couples are older and need more time between. ‘Every day’ is a very unrealistic expectation for most real couples.

    • @LtGrandpoobah
      @LtGrandpoobah 2 года назад +5

      @@oneperson5760 If "mature" means "sexless marriage" to you...I'll prefer to keep my youth. Biblically, my answer is the only answer. Both husband and wife START from a position of "Yes, today." If one spouse desires it, the other person's answer is "yes." If and only if both spouses say "not today," are they to abstain. 1Cor7. Prove me wrong.

    • @oneperson5760
      @oneperson5760 2 года назад +9

      @@LtGrandpoobah how do you arrive at 'sexless marriage' from 'not every day'? It's not one extreme or the other. You've set up a lovely straw man for yourself, so have fun attacking it. If you want to get biblical, go look in Leviticus where it says men are not to have sex with a woman on her period.

    • @oneperson5760
      @oneperson5760 2 года назад +10

      @@LtGrandpoobah also, it strikes me as funny that you say 'I'll prefer to keep my youth.' That's not a preference you get to have. Time passes and the young grow old no matter what you prefer.

    • @LtGrandpoobah
      @LtGrandpoobah 2 года назад +1

      @@oneperson5760 You clearly don't know the bible, so I'm not going to hold you to biblical standards. I'll be praying that you find Jesus. He died for our sins. He's the only path to heaven.

  • @CremeBrulee1133
    @CremeBrulee1133 4 месяца назад

    @TheDrJohnDelonyShow
    How many times a couple has sex in a week depends on so many variables: age, health, time spent at work, libido of each person, whether they have children in the home, etcetera. There is no normal. It’s whatever works for that couple.

  • @bobphillips3387
    @bobphillips3387 2 месяца назад

    7:16-7:27 has been a blessing!

  • @SethCorbinMusic
    @SethCorbinMusic 3 месяца назад

    Ultimately, loving your wife unconditionally until you die means doing things for her when it’s difficult. All the time. You can also voice your needs, the more you serve her the more she will be prone to want to meet your needs

    • @edwo6648
      @edwo6648 7 дней назад

      That is a load of crap.

  • @aqua-mina
    @aqua-mina 9 месяцев назад +3

    When will we ever learn with these DIY projects? 😪🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @ntme6506
    @ntme6506 2 года назад +6

    The unfinished projects question was probably from John's wife.

  • @AimeePoppinBabies
    @AimeePoppinBabies 2 года назад +42

    As a woman with some options: we want a guy who is willing to be an amazing provider.

    • @weekendnomad5038
      @weekendnomad5038 2 года назад +5

      But also makes the relationship a priority

    • @garret8787
      @garret8787 2 года назад +22

      As a man with some options: we want a girl who is young and beautiful.
      At least you are honest that you are only looking for materialism.
      Biology makes girls look for a man with money and status to protect and provide while she is vulnerable (allowing her to safely have kids)
      Biology makes men look for a woman with fertility and health (young and beautiful) to protect and provide for while she has his kids

    • @AimeePoppinBabies
      @AimeePoppinBabies 2 года назад +11

      @@garret8787 I am not looking for a man for what he can give me only (happily married to a rockstar of a man). That being said I think its important for women to pick a man who is a hard working provider (especially if you want kids). Women suffer a lot more in marriage as the dominant childcare giver, cook, cleaner, organizer, budgeter and (like myself) still somehow managing to work outside the home. Men benefit greatly from marriage - women benefit from divorce. 🤭 That being said I know many women married to lazy couch surfers who do the bare minimum. Looks only go so far when both parties age eventually. I picked my husband because he puts me first and also because I deeply love him. Food for thought.

    • @garret8787
      @garret8787 2 года назад +12

      @@AimeePoppinBabies A “married” woman who claims she has “options”… what a keeper. Either not married or not loyal.
      You already stated what you value in men: their ability to provide materially. That’s not love, that’s respect*. You love your kids unconditionally. You respect* your husband’s ability to provide you with things.
      That’s why I made fun of your shallow first comment, and am making fun of your response (Mirroring the shallowness from a male perspective).
      Women’s youth and beauty age and spoil like milk.
      Men’s ability to provide usually increases with age.
      Marriage drains men of finances, time, and freedom. Divorce frees them up to pursue whatever they want… including younger women. A divorced women (worse with kids) is like a used car with high mileage in the dating market.
      Once again, making fun of your silly shallow comment.
      Mostly kidding about this comment, so just laugh it off and have a nice week 😉

    • @AimeePoppinBabies
      @AimeePoppinBabies 2 года назад +10

      @@garret8787 For the record: My loyalty depends on how a man treats me.

  • @destinyrivera7634
    @destinyrivera7634 8 месяцев назад +1

    For me I'm the one who walks away in my relationship when conversations are getting too hectic and my partner looks at it as disrespectful like I don't want to continue the conversation and I look at it as ending something that is unproductive at the moment

    • @bonjovi2792
      @bonjovi2792 7 месяцев назад

      As long as you tell him that there is going to be a time when you talk about it again when you are both calm, then that is perfectly fine. Might even be better to schedule the time

  • @MelindaJeffs-h2g
    @MelindaJeffs-h2g 7 месяцев назад

    I love that he said take a knitting class! 😅 Then when they both retire and Grandma takes up knitting for the grandkids, they will have something to bond over as empty nesters. That's thinking ahead!

  • @sherizazzetti1824
    @sherizazzetti1824 4 месяца назад

    I lost my mom , recently and my husband just wants to fight and oick on me ,over everything i do , we trying to work on things but i got two battles at one so i just basically just shut down, . It hard to. Griev over my mom and the same time my husband very important and im trying to hold on as long as I can.with him, . Need prayers need , please ,yea all this thing you say, interesting videos and i learning alot

  • @SugarBee23
    @SugarBee23 9 месяцев назад +1

    The wives in the friend group: sometimes it is just impossible to break into an established group. "The wives" decided that we should all go out as an informal bachelorette party for me........and then decided to go on a day that I wasn't available. Then my now ex-husband couldn't understand why I never put in effort with them again.

  • @sithLinkGaming
    @sithLinkGaming 7 месяцев назад +1

    You should be in desirably doing it as often as it is available to you as a couple and you want it

  • @kahletucker4358
    @kahletucker4358 3 месяца назад

    For the diy project thing i absolutely love working with my husband we make the greastest team, for our wedding we even restored my grandpas gazebo that he built for my grandma

  • @jcurri
    @jcurri 7 месяцев назад

    That’s a very safe answer… it’s not wrong, but it’s safe.

  • @reliefwithoils
    @reliefwithoils 7 месяцев назад +1

    "These questions are all about relationships" The Doc: "Ugh". 😂

  • @lionmangolf
    @lionmangolf 8 месяцев назад +1

    Depends on age 🤔 😏 & attraction

  • @selenabryant2354
    @selenabryant2354 6 месяцев назад +1

    How do I ask some questions

  • @tigeress699
    @tigeress699 8 месяцев назад

    I agree with the fact that if you're married and you are dead set on having a child or more then one, you need to marry someone who feels the EXCAT same way too! If you don't want to have children, for whatever reason, that's perfectly fine and no one's business but your own!
    BUT... If you're married, no matter how long or how short, and they wanna have kids the relationship is dead in the water! Having children is the biggest responsibility in the world and not everyone is meant to have children. You have to be on the same page 100 percent when it comes to having kids, because if not it's going to end with animosity, hatred, loathing, and divorce! As nasty as divorce can be, it's even worse when children are involved!

  • @eliodegorge7285
    @eliodegorge7285 7 месяцев назад +1

    “I don’t think he’s going anyway” ouch

  • @Anthony-gi7jv
    @Anthony-gi7jv 2 года назад +31

    I would say 3-4 times a week minimum. My ex and I could not stand each other for the last few years, but our intimacy never really changed. Even after she moved out, she came back for more. That was weird

    • @jill9606
      @jill9606 2 года назад +20

      3-4 times a week is MUCH more doable for childless people.

    • @wbae1340
      @wbae1340 2 года назад +1

      @@jill9606 and smaller people lol

    • @Anthony-gi7jv
      @Anthony-gi7jv 2 года назад +11

      @@jill9606 we have two boys and we both worked full time. I married the most beautiful woman in the world and couldn’t keep my hands off her

    • @justmorbid9196
      @justmorbid9196 Год назад +10

      3-4 times a week minimum!? XD you must be new in that relationship lmao

    • @avaglynn1
      @avaglynn1 Год назад +16

      @@jill9606 we have 3 kids and 3-5 times a week is our norm. Don't use your kids as an excuse. 😊

  • @rollingacresfarmstead206
    @rollingacresfarmstead206 Год назад +5

    The answer to the title 3-4 times a week😂 yeah my wife is😊.

  • @nicklowe_
    @nicklowe_ 2 года назад +3

    Sick intro graphics lol

  • @oterosocram25
    @oterosocram25 10 месяцев назад +2

    Go and volunteer at a daycare or church children's ministry as a couple before even talking about children.

  • @auroramothergoddess
    @auroramothergoddess 2 года назад +12

    If you’re broke you have no time to play

    • @biggslim100
      @biggslim100 2 года назад +1

      🎯

    • @lebumjames1373
      @lebumjames1373 2 года назад +2

      Don’t seek a relationship let alone have a kid if you’re broke. Get a stable income first.

    • @amiianectar
      @amiianectar 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@lebumjames1373what if you’re already in the relationship? Is it selfish to leave someone who isn’t financially stable.

  • @faustinawicka7775
    @faustinawicka7775 6 месяцев назад

    I really want to get John’s advice about my situation but i don’t know how I get ahold of him or the show.

  • @TrekieGal
    @TrekieGal 9 месяцев назад +1

    Only 2 kids 5 and under? 😂 I've got 4 under 5 and still have lots of intimacy. Our only schedule is a once a week 30 minute show together. ❤

  • @crystalwynn3910
    @crystalwynn3910 Год назад +4

    What happens once I focus on making the best version of myself and discover complete happiness in being solo and independent and no longer have a desire to be in relationships and I reject every single option?

    • @spicybrown75
      @spicybrown75 Год назад

      That means you live your best life. Simple.

    • @dgathome4345
      @dgathome4345 8 месяцев назад

      It’s a very rare person that truly wants to be alone throughout life. Spouses and children make life complete.

    • @nirmalababu2051
      @nirmalababu2051 7 месяцев назад

      You, my dear , may be an old soul .You know what you need.Simply be you .
      Good luck .

  • @marshareed1438
    @marshareed1438 8 месяцев назад +2

    Don’t ever use sex as a weapon…no pun intended 😂

  • @AimeePoppinBabies
    @AimeePoppinBabies 2 года назад +33

    John, with all due respect its not so easy for a woman to decide if she is ready to have kids. Women literally get ripped in HALF emotionally, mentally and physically. 🤦‍♀️ Men just squirt and run... So...

    • @georgieeve2026
      @georgieeve2026 2 года назад

      Not to mention majority of women are the ones who actually end up being the sole parent because men/fathers just up and leave whenever they feel like. They know (majority) of women would never leave the kids so they act accordingly.

    • @doubleaz1234
      @doubleaz1234 2 года назад

      🏃‍♀️

    • @oneperson5760
      @oneperson5760 2 года назад +15

      No, women do not literally get ripped in half when they have kids. Ive had 3, and im from a big family. Honestly, the men in my family have more trauma from working so hard to provide for us ladies and kids. My husband has back pain and knee pain and hearing loss from decades of hard work to support us. My son has knee damage and tinnitus from his job, and he’s still young. My father had chemical exposure and heart and lung damage from his job he worked to support us. Its a huge committment and physical and emotional work for men too. When they get so used up and damaged and in pain from years or decades of work, they feel dread every time the alarm clock goes off in the morning. Its not only women who get changed by parenthood. Look at the MGTOW guys, they can do minimal work to support themselves then spend all the rest of their time on porn and gaming. Good fathers/husbands are long suffering heroes.

    • @Dhuxul9
      @Dhuxul9 Год назад

      What a delusional statement

    • @kristinmoore4624
      @kristinmoore4624 Год назад +11

      I feel like some women overdramatize it. I've had several little people and it's the best thing I've ever done. I wish I could've had more. Natural births and sleepless nights but we also get a gift that men don't, we get to create that new sweet little baby... A bond men never get to experience.

  • @shannonluck5066
    @shannonluck5066 9 месяцев назад +1

    All children sleep 💤 that's your time for being a couple together... ❤

    • @shannonluck5066
      @shannonluck5066 9 месяцев назад

      Twice a day like prayer... Morning and Evening 🎉

  •  Месяц назад

    @8:10 but why not?

  • @IFBBProYeo
    @IFBBProYeo 8 месяцев назад

    Containing john to one minute is good training for him to distill down his great advice 😂

  • @cathkails
    @cathkails 8 месяцев назад +1

    When he said go out swinging, he meant swing dancing, right?😅

  • @chrisflo24
    @chrisflo24 Год назад +12

    Most married men are lucky and i mean lucky to average once a week. Some barely even have sex once a month and gets worse from there.

  • @lot2196
    @lot2196 2 года назад +14

    Colon cancer pretty much wiped out our sex life.

    • @katiedunk4901
      @katiedunk4901 2 года назад +12

      I’m sorry

    • @LtGrandpoobah
      @LtGrandpoobah 2 года назад +1

      I've heard about that side effect from the treatment of colon and prostate cancers.

    • @alexarihani2902
      @alexarihani2902 7 месяцев назад +1

      I’m sorry!

  • @johnmininger7472
    @johnmininger7472 Год назад +1

    Oh how I dislike the discussion around the question in the title.

  • @d3r3kyasmar
    @d3r3kyasmar 2 года назад +8

    I find the title to be a clickbait because “sex sells”.
    But nice segment though. Its still relevant to what this show should be.