Great lecture. I’m a 40 year old woman and I found the information here very soothing to my childhood experiences. I was able to grieve the lost childhood that no one ever acknowledged. Seeing other children who have similar experiences, reduced my sense of isolation. Even at 40 years old, I’m still looking for answers to heal my childhood traumas and gain skills that I couldn’t develop in my family home. Treatment of mental health definitely needs to invest a lot more into supporting whole families, not only the unwell parent. I’m grateful for Dr Alan’s efforts in this matter and I’m wishing him the best success. For me, I’m a little frustrated that our society is so removed from this matter and surprised since a developed, modern and wealthy society, that supposedly has anti discrimination and human right laws well established, this area is still so under funded and underdeveloped, especially since the evidence is fairly clear and so obvious to me from a very young age.
It would be interesting to know how the emotional state of the child is effected in relation to the number of years the child is in this environment. Especially true in circumstances where children are unable to follow the natural progression of adult life as they continue to be the care giver or provider. This is especially significant in cases where the parent has no spouse and has not been able to provide for themselves financially. The adult child is faced with an emotional and financial burden fueled by a sense of responsibility and obligation, which more often than not will have a negative impact on any relationships the adult child may have. There is little support for the adult child as society expects children to look after their aging parents. This is particularly difficult when the parent is not old enough to qualify for a retirement village and refuses treatment for the mental illness, or where the parent uses the mental illness as an excuse for abusive behavior. In the circumstances outlined above the roles have been totally reversed, the adult child is seen to be responsible for the parent (Often reinforced by family members) and the parent is completely reliant on the adult child for support. The parent may fear abandonment and in some cases will actively choose to place additional pressure on any relationships the child has that may change the status quo. Often the adult child does not have the emotional foundation to prevent this, especially if childhood abuse prevented the proper establishment of boundaries and fostered low self esteem and isolation..
...ZERO...ZERO recognition and ALL the blame :'o( ...I've never even had a chance to have my OWN life!!!...and as long as I am here...I never will and worry what will become of me as my health is already so poor from dealing with this for over thirty years :'o(((((((
Same here, I was shamed and blamed for being the reason my father became mentally I'll and was never given any positive support whatsoever. I wish there were more programs like this in the States.
Thank you so much - a vital tool with regards to supporting families - especially children in understanding mental health issues. A much needed insight; truly useful discussion in which so many agencies would benefit e.g child protection etc. Interesting to watch the behavioural changes as focus increased during the 15 minute video. Brilliant!
Thank you...i was raised as an only child with a mom who has bipolar and schizophrenia. i know it has affected me as an adult. But i would like to know how exactly.
Never want to have children having been one of 2 irresponsible parents. Egoist father was running errands with other women, living away from home in another country before his sudden death when I was 16, mother with bipolar disorder who attempted suicide...Once found mum sleeping all day, had mistaken her lithium tablets for sleeping pills. Should have been put into foster care with my brother. Now 43 and living with depression, never been able to get over it. Destroyed my character, my life, my confidence, never been able to form a long-term relationship with women by fear of what would happen.....Should never have been born.
Truthseeker1515 Also please don't say that about yourself... What your parents have been through or the mistakes that your mother has made shouldn't define you. Your life and your happiness is yours and you have the control over it. At least that's how I try to see it. Give yourself time and learn how to love yourself it's never too late.
Joseph Elias would you like to talk? I’m a student of psychology. I’m working on my masters. I’d like to hear your experiences and offer any resources I may have.. please feel free to email me, bobbijeanrose@icloud.com
I'm 41 bipolar 1, type a, rapid cycler experienced all mania and mixex mother, sons 19 and 22. I believe 100 percent my boys are. my narcissistic x toke them from me when younger, been 2 years they won't see me I finally admitted and I'm learning so much I have decided not to push them to see me because I need to be well first . I'm also bpd , ptsd and adhd but that mite be wrong. The 19 year still lives there of course he pays for part of everything and last time i saw them my x harp til he cried then was satisfied. I've only just realized my x was a narc. Because of the bipolar I'm scared for him and being triggered. I've asked both to come with. me to inpatient I need to be reasset in mixed state for 2 months. The 22 year didn't respond he has spiraled broke up with girlfriend after 4 years , alienated the family substance abuse I see me. I believe he is rapid also . everything I've done has been wrong. I need advise I don't want set any triggers I've done that without knowing. I'm toxic for them I know that and will do anything here on out. I feel I can only sit and wait , get the right health care team and prepare myself to help when they crash by learning and documenting my bipolar. I'm so scared that my x is gonna do even more damage. we both have I know now. how do I get them to see my x as he is and to get them to just be screened. I need any helpful advise I'm terrified
Great lecture. I’m a 40 year old woman and I found the information here very soothing to my childhood experiences. I was able to grieve the lost childhood that no one ever acknowledged. Seeing other children who have similar experiences, reduced my sense of isolation. Even at 40 years old, I’m still looking for answers to heal my childhood traumas and gain skills that I couldn’t develop in my family home. Treatment of mental health definitely needs to invest a lot more into supporting whole families, not only the unwell parent. I’m grateful for Dr Alan’s efforts in this matter and I’m wishing him the best success. For me, I’m a little frustrated that our society is so removed from this matter and surprised since a developed, modern and wealthy society, that supposedly has anti discrimination and human right laws well established, this area is still so under funded and underdeveloped, especially since the evidence is fairly clear and so obvious to me from a very young age.
What a brilliant and compassionate human being Dr Alan Cooklin is. Great dvd!
I really like the children teaching us, they are the best teachers and they ask the best questions. Thanks Chinea!
Thank you for posting this.I needed this a long time ago.
David Cobb
yes me too
Same here, it was healing to watch
Absolutely superb and masterful way in which to explain to children and everyone.
It would be interesting to know how the emotional state of the child is effected in relation to the number of years the child is in this environment. Especially true in circumstances where children are unable to follow the natural progression of adult life as they continue to be the care giver or provider.
This is especially significant in cases where the parent has no spouse and has not been able to provide for themselves financially. The adult child is faced with an emotional and financial burden fueled by a sense of responsibility and obligation, which more often than not will have a negative impact on any relationships the adult child may have.
There is little support for the adult child as society expects children to look after their aging parents. This is particularly difficult when the parent is not old enough to qualify for a retirement village and refuses treatment for the mental illness, or where the parent uses the mental illness as an excuse for abusive behavior.
In the circumstances outlined above the roles have been totally reversed, the adult child is seen to be responsible for the parent (Often reinforced by family members) and the parent is completely reliant on the adult child for support.
The parent may fear abandonment and in some cases will actively choose to place additional pressure on any relationships the child has that may change the status quo. Often the adult child does not have the emotional foundation to prevent this, especially if childhood abuse prevented the proper establishment of boundaries and fostered low self esteem and isolation..
Clint Fleming well said.
...ZERO...ZERO recognition and ALL the blame :'o( ...I've never even had a chance to have my OWN life!!!...and as long as I am here...I never will and worry what will become of me as my health is already so poor from dealing with this for over thirty years :'o(((((((
Same here, I was shamed and blamed for being the reason my father became mentally I'll and was never given any positive support whatsoever. I wish there were more programs like this in the States.
Sending love to you both❤❤
Thank you so much - a vital tool with regards to supporting families - especially children in understanding mental health issues. A much needed insight; truly useful discussion in which so many agencies would benefit e.g child protection etc. Interesting to watch the behavioural changes as focus increased during the 15 minute video. Brilliant!
Thank you...i was raised as an only child with a mom who has bipolar and schizophrenia. i know it has affected me as an adult. But i would like to know how exactly.
Susan Badgett I understand where you're coming from.
I was an only child of two mentally I'll parents, I am sorry you went through this.
Excellent!!
Never want to have children having been one of 2 irresponsible parents. Egoist father was running errands with other women, living away from home in another country before his sudden death when I was 16, mother with bipolar disorder who attempted suicide...Once found mum sleeping all day, had mistaken her lithium tablets for sleeping pills. Should have been put into foster care with my brother. Now 43 and living with depression, never been able to get over it. Destroyed my character, my life, my confidence, never been able to form a long-term relationship with women by fear of what would happen.....Should never have been born.
Truthseeker1515 Also please don't say that about yourself... What your parents have been through or the mistakes that your mother has made shouldn't define you. Your life and your happiness is yours and you have the control over it. At least that's how I try to see it. Give yourself time and learn how to love yourself it's never too late.
This scares me so much, bc I have Bipolar and I would never want to hurt my children.
I'm still looking for help for my own experiences... (a life ruined by a neglectful mother who has been totally unstable)
Joseph Elias would you like to talk? I’m a student of psychology. I’m working on my masters. I’d like to hear your experiences and offer any resources I may have.. please feel free to email me, bobbijeanrose@icloud.com
Bobbijean Rose are you still looking for peoples experiences?
Some thing is telling me....
I'm 41 bipolar 1, type a, rapid cycler experienced all mania and mixex mother, sons 19 and 22. I believe 100 percent my boys are. my narcissistic x toke them from me when younger, been 2 years they won't see me I finally admitted and I'm learning so much I have decided not to push them to see me because I need to be well first . I'm also bpd , ptsd and adhd but that mite be wrong. The 19 year still lives there of course he pays for part of everything and last time i saw them my x harp til he cried then was satisfied. I've only just realized my x was a narc. Because of the bipolar I'm scared for him and being triggered. I've asked both to come with. me to inpatient I need to be reasset in mixed state for 2 months. The 22 year didn't respond he has spiraled broke up with girlfriend after 4 years , alienated the family substance abuse I see me. I believe he is rapid also . everything I've done has been wrong. I need advise I don't want set any triggers I've done that without knowing. I'm toxic for them I know that and will do anything here on out. I feel I can only sit and wait , get the right health care team and prepare myself to help when they crash by learning and documenting my bipolar. I'm so scared that my x is gonna do even more damage. we both have I know now. how do I get them to see my x as he is and to get them to just be screened. I need any helpful advise I'm terrified