Our society is so messed up, I always believe that children are our future we must invest in them. I don’t have TV’s in their bedrooms nor do I allow phones after a certain time. My 17 years old just got his first phone. I remind them everyday that they are loved they matter and they are beautiful. I hug them kiss them and nurture them. They have a beautiful bond with me. I am not a passive or authoritative parent . Children to embrace their feelings and we must listen. This speech was very powerful. We must fix our homes before pointing the finger at the school system. Have more resources for our children.
He is brilliant! I was blessed to have a consultation with him for one of my little abused patient's during his seminar series a few years ago. He is so enlightened!
Funny you say that....After an argument with his first wife " Arlis Kay Perry " she ended up dead in the Stanford Memorial church in 1974. ( True Facts )
One of the most impact-fully loving familiesI was blessed to be accepted into, was not abundant in money finances but their love, comfort, acceptance and nurture building ways, were the richest of all of the riches in the world. Honestly, I know it sounds hokey but the people I am referring to, are so beautiful and love each other so much, the exposure I had to that love, was life changing. ❤️
+radulescu valentin (freedom) yes it's a problem. it's all about where in the lifespan do we start. time does not exist. children are play scripts we write as parents. succumbing to animal instinct before we are truth actualized is the problem. when we write the script to be one filled with everything that is wrong it propagates itself out into the world exponentially through the children we create so haphazardly.
@@rngsft Woah! If we have learned anything at all from 20th and 21st century behavioral science it's that mental disorders of all kinds are extremely complicated. Maternal behavior is only one contribution to the bio-psycho-social experiences of the child. Your comment reinforces stigma and mother blaming. Please consider good mothers and fathers who have done so much to nurture their children who end up developing addictions and other mental health challenges.
I'm very worried for society and the amount of children being raised by emotionally absent and addicted parents ( drugs, screens even). I am an adoptive parent. Sometimes love is not enough.
this video makes me feel so disabled because I'm deaf and someone seemed to have missed the fact, that some are not able to hear. Exclusion at it's best. I hope someone will change that one day.
Here are my notes: 1. We benefit from the knowledge of elder generations 2. All of this knowledge is mediated by the brain 3. Every generation inherits the good and bad choices of their ancestors 4. We do not make systematic recommendations of child rearing but we should 5. Child rearing, education and community needs to be molded around empathy and healing (we are biological creatures) 6. We are neurologically meant to live in connection 7. We can only survive in community 8. Our brain is a social organ 9. We are meant to share resources and knowledge 10. We need multi-generational groups (50 people) 11. The brain changes based on the environment 12. Loving environments create loving brains 13. Loving parents transfer to their children the ability to love 14. To develop in a healthy way...we need to be shown empathy 15. Brain develops based on exposure 16. A humans emotional development is based on the love they received on each stage 17. The brain, organizes, develops as functions based on its experiences 18. A child raised as a Dog thought she was a Dog and related to Dogs 19. Your brain is malleable 20. Your brain needs healthy relationships 21. Academic outcomes, crime, employable would improve with more loving environments, loving experiences and loving connections
I have the same question. I am now 50yo and was subjected to ongoing neglect and bullying in my home as a child yet I was always the top of my class in school. I think for me, school was a safe place and I presume that I was inside my "window of tolerance" while there. But I also had impulse control issues and was constantly sent out of the classroom in first grade. It has puzzled me as well as I have learned about complex PTSD.
True. I manage an ED (emotionally disturbed)/traumatized program K-12 and the majority of my students are very intelligent even testing at the genius level. However emotionally and behaviorally challenged.
If the learned family Scapegoating system, damages empathy, creates a system of trauma, power, victimisation, it holds us back, then we need education, to help people and the whole village to act and be willing to stop the bullying shaming and blaming of family scapegoat children.
Good day, may I please use parts of this amazing video in my thesis to reinforce the message that humans need touch to heal and to reconnect with humanity
Oppositional Defiant Disorder seems like it relates to Identified Patient in some ways, so I'd be more inclined to observe the parents. If a parent is disrespectful towards a child, maybe that's the reason why the kid is defiant... Because they have a need for their freedom and have a right to respect just like anyone else.
Our brains are seeing the limits to our species, we don't have 10 years. After fossil-fuel-built civilization and it's population overshoot, what is going to maintain 500 reactors?
Our society is so messed up, I always believe that children are our future we must invest in them. I don’t have TV’s in their bedrooms nor do I allow phones after a certain time. My 17 years old just got his first phone. I remind them everyday that they are loved they matter and they are beautiful. I hug them kiss them and nurture them. They have a beautiful bond with me. I am not a passive or authoritative parent . Children to embrace their feelings and we must listen. This speech was very powerful. We must fix our homes before pointing the finger at the school system. Have more resources for our children.
Not more resources ! ! !
Better quality resources . . .
Your rhetoric fails you ! ! !
The kind of person that should lead this country or any country.
Research his first wife "Arlis Kay Perry " your opinion might change.
I never get tired of listening to Dr Perry. Such an amazing mind and such ability to explain make relational neurobiology relatable.
Amazing!! I completely agree. Maria Montessori saw this over 100 years ago and gave us a beautiful model for education. We still cannot get it!!!!
He is brilliant! I was blessed to have a consultation with him for one of my little abused patient's during his seminar series a few years ago. He is so enlightened!
If you like him you will love Transactional Analysis . . .
Would you be so kind to let me know how I can contact him?
How do I contact him? He's brilliant and his insight has helped me so much.
He got lucky beating murder charges of his first wife " Arlis Kay Perry " in 1974, at the Stanford Memorial Church. He's enlightened alright.
@@Abstormtomjo That is a good question.
This guy is my idol. We need to mainstream his knowledge
His first wife...." Arlis Kay Perry " may disagree with you.
Dr Perry is profound and makes so much sense
I wish more people would listen to what Dr. Perry has to say.....makes it so understandable and digestible. Thank you Dr. Perry for your work.
Funny you say that....After an argument with his first wife " Arlis Kay Perry " she ended up dead in the Stanford Memorial church in 1974. ( True Facts )
"When we are at odds with reality we don't benefit." SO GOOD AND TRUE!! Thank you, Dr. Perry.
Great speech. So much material covered, humorous and relevant.
Wow, it is so power how to turn children into a solution and not seeing them as a problem. Well spoken 👏
One of the most impact-fully loving familiesI was blessed to be accepted into, was not abundant in money finances but their love, comfort, acceptance and nurture building ways, were the richest of all of the riches in the world. Honestly, I know it sounds hokey but the people I am referring to, are so beautiful and love each other so much, the exposure I had to that love, was life changing. ❤️
DR.PERRY The best i have heart.
this is absolute Truth. the cause of addiction and most other mental illness. parents create addiction and mental illness.
+radulescu valentin (freedom) yes it's a problem. it's all about where in the lifespan do we start. time does not exist. children are play scripts we write as parents. succumbing to animal instinct before we are truth actualized is the problem. when we write the script to be one filled with everything that is wrong it propagates itself out into the world exponentially through the children we create so haphazardly.
@@rngsft Woah! If we have learned anything at all from 20th and 21st century behavioral science it's that mental disorders of all kinds are extremely complicated. Maternal behavior is only one contribution to the bio-psycho-social experiences of the child. Your comment reinforces stigma and mother blaming. Please consider good mothers and fathers who have done so much to nurture their children who end up developing addictions and other mental health challenges.
Should be watched by policy makers involved in education, parents, teachers and everyone involved in mental health!
He is
I'm very worried for society and the amount of children being raised by emotionally absent and addicted parents ( drugs, screens even). I am an adoptive parent. Sometimes love is not enough.
Love is enough.just communicate all we want us to be seen and heard
Love!!! Such important work!
wow so powerful...very well informed and enlightening...
Would have been nice to have seen the slides of the studies he was referring to.
Would be nice if he explained what exactly happened to his first wife "Arlis Kay Perry " In Stanford Memorial Church in 1974 ??
Fascinating individual . . .
Very impoverished video . . .
this video makes me feel so disabled because I'm deaf and someone seemed to have missed the fact, that some are not able to hear. Exclusion at it's best. I hope someone will change that one day.
Here are my notes: 1. We benefit from the knowledge of elder generations
2. All of this knowledge is mediated by the brain
3. Every generation inherits the good and bad choices of their ancestors
4. We do not make systematic recommendations of child rearing but we should
5. Child rearing, education and community needs to be molded around empathy and healing (we are biological creatures)
6. We are neurologically meant to live in connection
7. We can only survive in community
8. Our brain is a social organ
9. We are meant to share resources and knowledge
10. We need multi-generational groups (50 people)
11. The brain changes based on the environment
12. Loving environments create loving brains
13. Loving parents transfer to their children the ability to love
14. To develop in a healthy way...we need to be shown empathy
15. Brain develops based on exposure
16. A humans emotional development is based on the love they received on each stage
17. The brain, organizes, develops as functions based on its experiences
18. A child raised as a Dog thought she was a Dog and related to Dogs
19. Your brain is malleable
20. Your brain needs healthy relationships
21. Academic outcomes, crime, employable would improve with more loving environments, loving experiences and loving connections
dontshakeme Could it be because he had limited time to speak?
Or if possible, get an interpreter when you watch this video.
He's alright. I enjoyed it.
Excellent talk.
How do you explain children who are very intellectually intelligent and able to learn well even if they are traumatized?
I have the same question. I am now 50yo and was subjected to ongoing neglect and bullying in my home as a child yet I was always the top of my class in school. I think for me, school was a safe place and I presume that I was inside my "window of tolerance" while there. But I also had impulse control issues and was constantly sent out of the classroom in first grade. It has puzzled me as well as I have learned about complex PTSD.
Clowns in a three piece suit . . .
Resilient!
@@formerfundienowfree4235 Resilient!
True. I manage an ED (emotionally disturbed)/traumatized program K-12 and the majority of my students are very intelligent even testing at the genius level. However emotionally and behaviorally challenged.
Daydreaming also develops lempathy, and with so many children on devices and not daydreaming as much empathy is in danger
If the learned family Scapegoating system, damages empathy, creates a system of trauma, power, victimisation, it holds us back, then we need education, to help people and the whole village to act and be willing to stop the bullying shaming and blaming of family scapegoat children.
when does he talk about the difference between empathy and kindness.
Brilliant ❤
Good day, may I please use parts of this amazing video in my thesis to reinforce the message that humans need touch to heal and to reconnect with humanity
Love this so so so much
Thank you 😁
Oppositional Defiant Disorder seems like it relates to Identified Patient in some ways, so I'd be more inclined to observe the parents. If a parent is disrespectful towards a child, maybe that's the reason why the kid is defiant... Because they have a need for their freedom and have a right to respect just like anyone else.
It is so sad to watch the direction we are going ! I can see how children are losing sympathy.
Wonderful presentation! I wish I could see the slides that he was showing.
EunShil Kim You can contact childtrauma.org and ask for his best hits slides from speaking events for personal use!
Amazing
Love.
How ethnically diverse is this audience? (I love this information - I'm a lover not a hater - just curious)
that depends entirely on where he is speaking
Just give me a pill that regulates these neural responses so i can just get back to work lol
Great so you told us the problem. What now?
Multi-famiy and Multigenerational are wealthy in relationships!
Add pharma
Our brains are seeing the limits to our species, we don't have 10 years. After fossil-fuel-built civilization and it's population overshoot, what is going to maintain 500 reactors?
.... your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying....