Dr. Bruce Perry - Born for Love: Why Empathy is Endangered - and Essential

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  • Опубликовано: 14 май 2014
  • From birth, we seek intimate connections, bonds made possible by empathy - the ability to love and to share the feelings of others. Review scientific and historical examples of how empathy develops, why it is essential to our development, and how the modern world threatens it. Explore how compassion underlies the qualities that make society work and how difficulties related to empathy are key factors in social problems, mental illness, and even physical health. Learn how recent technological changes, child-rearing practices, education, and lifestyles affect a child's understanding of human contact and deep relationships, the foundation for empathy and a caring, healthy society. Take home practical ideas for combating the negative influences of modern life and fostering social change.

Комментарии • 71

  • @maiteroth475
    @maiteroth475 5 лет назад +28

    Our society is so messed up, I always believe that children are our future we must invest in them. I don’t have TV’s in their bedrooms nor do I allow phones after a certain time. My 17 years old just got his first phone. I remind them everyday that they are loved they matter and they are beautiful. I hug them kiss them and nurture them. They have a beautiful bond with me. I am not a passive or authoritative parent . Children to embrace their feelings and we must listen. This speech was very powerful. We must fix our homes before pointing the finger at the school system. Have more resources for our children.

    • @hughmoore786
      @hughmoore786 5 лет назад +1

      Not more resources ! ! !
      Better quality resources . . .
      Your rhetoric fails you ! ! !

  • @aoknponte
    @aoknponte 9 лет назад +59

    The kind of person that should lead this country or any country.

    • @albertawheat6832
      @albertawheat6832 Год назад +1

      Research his first wife "Arlis Kay Perry " your opinion might change.

  • @Glimbofan
    @Glimbofan 2 года назад +5

    This guy is my idol. We need to mainstream his knowledge

    • @albertawheat6832
      @albertawheat6832 Год назад

      His first wife...." Arlis Kay Perry " may disagree with you.

  • @candicemaurer9277
    @candicemaurer9277 8 лет назад +16

    Amazing!! I completely agree. Maria Montessori saw this over 100 years ago and gave us a beautiful model for education. We still cannot get it!!!!

  • @CherylRomano
    @CherylRomano 10 лет назад +31

    He is brilliant! I was blessed to have a consultation with him for one of my little abused patient's during his seminar series a few years ago. He is so enlightened!

    • @hughmoore786
      @hughmoore786 4 года назад

      If you like him you will love Transactional Analysis . . .

    • @braindirt7499
      @braindirt7499 3 года назад

      Would you be so kind to let me know how I can contact him?

    • @braindirt7499
      @braindirt7499 3 года назад

      How do I contact him? He's brilliant and his insight has helped me so much.

    • @albertawheat6832
      @albertawheat6832 Год назад

      He got lucky beating murder charges of his first wife " Arlis Kay Perry " in 1974, at the Stanford Memorial Church. He's enlightened alright.

  • @gurjitbasi1804
    @gurjitbasi1804 10 лет назад +31

    Dr Perry is profound and makes so much sense

  • @rebeccathompson4093
    @rebeccathompson4093 6 лет назад +15

    I never get tired of listening to Dr Perry. Such an amazing mind and such ability to explain make relational neurobiology relatable.

  • @michelemurphy3541
    @michelemurphy3541 3 года назад +6

    One of the most impact-fully loving familiesI was blessed to be accepted into, was not abundant in money finances but their love, comfort, acceptance and nurture building ways, were the richest of all of the riches in the world. Honestly, I know it sounds hokey but the people I am referring to, are so beautiful and love each other so much, the exposure I had to that love, was life changing. ❤️

  • @jml04
    @jml04 2 года назад +1

    "When we are at odds with reality we don't benefit." SO GOOD AND TRUE!! Thank you, Dr. Perry.

  • @ninamarie896
    @ninamarie896 5 лет назад +11

    Great speech. So much material covered, humorous and relevant.

  • @sissykan547
    @sissykan547 3 года назад +6

    Wow, it is so power how to turn children into a solution and not seeing them as a problem. Well spoken 👏

  • @TheSavannah2423
    @TheSavannah2423 9 месяцев назад +1

    DR.PERRY The best i have heart.

  • @milajavier397
    @milajavier397 9 лет назад +40

    Should be watched by policy makers involved in education, parents, teachers and everyone involved in mental health!

  • @jenniferb.crosson6290
    @jenniferb.crosson6290 3 года назад +2

    I wish more people would listen to what Dr. Perry has to say.....makes it so understandable and digestible. Thank you Dr. Perry for your work.

    • @albertawheat6832
      @albertawheat6832 Год назад

      Funny you say that....After an argument with his first wife " Arlis Kay Perry " she ended up dead in the Stanford Memorial church in 1974. ( True Facts )

  • @leahfallesen6365
    @leahfallesen6365 3 года назад +8

    I'm very worried for society and the amount of children being raised by emotionally absent and addicted parents ( drugs, screens even). I am an adoptive parent. Sometimes love is not enough.

    • @eunicedavis3254
      @eunicedavis3254 3 года назад +2

      Love is enough.just communicate all we want us to be seen and heard

  • @rngsft
    @rngsft 8 лет назад +14

    this is absolute Truth. the cause of addiction and most other mental illness. parents create addiction and mental illness.

    • @rngsft
      @rngsft 8 лет назад +2

      +radulescu valentin (freedom) yes it's a problem. it's all about where in the lifespan do we start. time does not exist. children are play scripts we write as parents. succumbing to animal instinct before we are truth actualized is the problem. when we write the script to be one filled with everything that is wrong it propagates itself out into the world exponentially through the children we create so haphazardly.

    • @mindlegacy162
      @mindlegacy162 4 года назад +1

      @@rngsft Woah! If we have learned anything at all from 20th and 21st century behavioral science it's that mental disorders of all kinds are extremely complicated. Maternal behavior is only one contribution to the bio-psycho-social experiences of the child. Your comment reinforces stigma and mother blaming. Please consider good mothers and fathers who have done so much to nurture their children who end up developing addictions and other mental health challenges.

  • @janedevoe6464
    @janedevoe6464 7 лет назад +9

    Love!!! Such important work!

  • @profdavidclark
    @profdavidclark 8 лет назад +4

    Excellent talk.

  • @hughmoore786
    @hughmoore786 5 лет назад +1

    Fascinating individual . . .
    Very impoverished video . . .

  • @SrengLim2023
    @SrengLim2023 4 года назад +3

    wow so powerful...very well informed and enlightening...

  • @dontshakeme
    @dontshakeme 6 лет назад +4

    this video makes me feel so disabled because I'm deaf and someone seemed to have missed the fact, that some are not able to hear. Exclusion at it's best. I hope someone will change that one day.

    • @terencestrong
      @terencestrong 6 лет назад +9

      Here are my notes: 1. We benefit from the knowledge of elder generations
      2. All of this knowledge is mediated by the brain
      3. Every generation inherits the good and bad choices of their ancestors
      4. We do not make systematic recommendations of child rearing but we should
      5. Child rearing, education and community needs to be molded around empathy and healing (we are biological creatures)
      6. We are neurologically meant to live in connection
      7. We can only survive in community
      8. Our brain is a social organ
      9. We are meant to share resources and knowledge
      10. We need multi-generational groups (50 people)
      11. The brain changes based on the environment
      12. Loving environments create loving brains
      13. Loving parents transfer to their children the ability to love
      14. To develop in a healthy way...we need to be shown empathy
      15. Brain develops based on exposure
      16. A humans emotional development is based on the love they received on each stage
      17. The brain, organizes, develops as functions based on its experiences
      18. A child raised as a Dog thought she was a Dog and related to Dogs
      19. Your brain is malleable
      20. Your brain needs healthy relationships
      21. Academic outcomes, crime, employable would improve with more loving environments, loving experiences and loving connections

    • @shespeaks1971
      @shespeaks1971 4 года назад +1

      dontshakeme Could it be because he had limited time to speak?

    • @sissykan547
      @sissykan547 3 года назад

      Or if possible, get an interpreter when you watch this video.

  • @cheanarchist2381
    @cheanarchist2381 8 месяцев назад

    Daydreaming also develops lempathy, and with so many children on devices and not daydreaming as much empathy is in danger

  • @Joey-mo1il
    @Joey-mo1il Год назад

    He's alright. I enjoyed it.

  • @rocioquispe-nf7oj
    @rocioquispe-nf7oj Год назад

    Brilliant ❤

  • @Jindy2
    @Jindy2 3 года назад +4

    Would have been nice to have seen the slides of the studies he was referring to.

    • @albertawheat6832
      @albertawheat6832 Год назад

      Would be nice if he explained what exactly happened to his first wife "Arlis Kay Perry " In Stanford Memorial Church in 1974 ??

  • @Gigiyoungerme
    @Gigiyoungerme Год назад

    Thank you 😁

  • @bhabeshkarmakar1971
    @bhabeshkarmakar1971 5 лет назад +1

    Amazing

  • @PlayVolleyball444
    @PlayVolleyball444 5 лет назад +5

    when does he talk about the difference between empathy and kindness.

  • @jae326
    @jae326 Год назад

    Love this so so so much

  • @umchinagirard1800
    @umchinagirard1800 4 года назад +1

    If the learned family Scapegoating system, damages empathy, creates a system of trauma, power, victimisation, it holds us back, then we need education, to help people and the whole village to act and be willing to stop the bullying shaming and blaming of family scapegoat children.

  • @eunshilkim3046
    @eunshilkim3046 6 лет назад

    Wonderful presentation! I wish I could see the slides that he was showing.

    • @tracstep4
      @tracstep4 6 лет назад +1

      EunShil Kim You can contact childtrauma.org and ask for his best hits slides from speaking events for personal use!

  • @meganalien1106
    @meganalien1106 5 лет назад +7

    How do you explain children who are very intellectually intelligent and able to learn well even if they are traumatized?

    • @formerfundienowfree4235
      @formerfundienowfree4235 5 лет назад +4

      I have the same question. I am now 50yo and was subjected to ongoing neglect and bullying in my home as a child yet I was always the top of my class in school. I think for me, school was a safe place and I presume that I was inside my "window of tolerance" while there. But I also had impulse control issues and was constantly sent out of the classroom in first grade. It has puzzled me as well as I have learned about complex PTSD.

    • @hughmoore786
      @hughmoore786 5 лет назад

      Clowns in a three piece suit . . .

    • @recarderleon9590
      @recarderleon9590 4 года назад +1

      Resilient!

    • @recarderleon9590
      @recarderleon9590 4 года назад +2

      @@formerfundienowfree4235 Resilient!

    • @yesministry
      @yesministry 4 года назад +1

      True. I manage an ED (emotionally disturbed)/traumatized program K-12 and the majority of my students are very intelligent even testing at the genius level. However emotionally and behaviorally challenged.

  • @amandadavie4162
    @amandadavie4162 7 лет назад +3

    Love.

  • @carmenmueller2888
    @carmenmueller2888 3 года назад +2

    It is so sad to watch the direction we are going ! I can see how children are losing sympathy.

  • @MeganS1995
    @MeganS1995 11 месяцев назад

    Oppositional Defiant Disorder seems like it relates to Identified Patient in some ways, so I'd be more inclined to observe the parents. If a parent is disrespectful towards a child, maybe that's the reason why the kid is defiant... Because they have a need for their freedom and have a right to respect just like anyone else.

  • @meganalien1106
    @meganalien1106 5 лет назад +3

    How ethnically diverse is this audience? (I love this information - I'm a lover not a hater - just curious)

    • @dianevines6447
      @dianevines6447 5 лет назад +1

      that depends entirely on where he is speaking

  • @peters8080
    @peters8080 7 месяцев назад

    Great so you told us the problem. What now?

  • @emilyosborne5204
    @emilyosborne5204 2 года назад

    Multi-famiy and Multigenerational are wealthy in relationships!

  • @landerwilliams2994
    @landerwilliams2994 Год назад

    Just give me a pill that regulates these neural responses so i can just get back to work lol

  • @evelynramos445
    @evelynramos445 7 месяцев назад

    Add pharma

  • @Stupidityindex
    @Stupidityindex 6 лет назад

    Our brains are seeing the limits to our species, we don't have 10 years. After fossil-fuel-built civilization and it's population overshoot, what is going to maintain 500 reactors?

  • @dontshakeme
    @dontshakeme 6 лет назад +1

    .... your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying....