High Unemployment Rate Linked To One Man With 42,000 Jobs

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  • Опубликовано: 10 июн 2012
  • Subscribe to The Onion on RUclips: bit.ly/xzrBUA
    A recent report finds that one man is selfishly working thousands of jobs while other Americans go without even one. (Aired 10/25/11)
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Комментарии • 7 тыс.

  • @SpazDogz
    @SpazDogz 5 лет назад +20096

    Jim fired me from my job as a dishwasher at a Mexican restaurant and hired me as a VP of Finance at US Bank on the same day. Later that night, Jim was both the guy selling me weed and the cop that let me off with a warning after he saw me buy weed.

    • @kogmawboss
      @kogmawboss 5 лет назад +669

      Bruh

    • @praddzzz
      @praddzzz 5 лет назад +616

      Creativity of these comments 😂😂😂😂

    • @thatoneguy_0218
      @thatoneguy_0218 5 лет назад +173

      These are priceless

    • @LucasMartin-im5ub
      @LucasMartin-im5ub 5 лет назад +258

      As long as Jim wasn’t also your hooker and pimp when you tried to run on the bill because the pimp was off duty and out of uniform.

    • @ggmasterguiltygear6315
      @ggmasterguiltygear6315 4 года назад +12

      Wat?!😁😁😁

  • @jayantkolapkar2926
    @jayantkolapkar2926 3 года назад +9114

    Imagine you get frustrated because you don't have a job, and decide to call a hit man on this dude, only to realise he himself is the hit man..

    • @austinorlando4326
      @austinorlando4326 3 года назад +978

      I'm now imagining jim sneaking into a room with a silenced pistol. He walks up to the bed and rips away the covers firing a few shots into the bed before looking on in confusion.
      "The bed is empty?" Only for jim to sneak up on jim from behind disarming jim and putting him in a hold.
      "You shouldn't mess with me i was an entire spec ops team back in the day! I was also logistics, my own handler, the terrorist cell I was investigating...." now while jim was distracted jim's partners shot jim in the back.
      "You should have realised jim, for a man like you of course i would bring backup. Good work jim."
      "Thanks jim now let's clean up the body"
      Jim would later call the owner of the store that he worked at as a cashier (while wearing a police uniform) and let himself know that he found himself dead.
      I'm very tired, Jim.

    • @robinsonner5461
      @robinsonner5461 3 года назад +96

      Legit Key and Peele level of genius from both these comments

    • @IsraelCountryCube
      @IsraelCountryCube 3 года назад +40

      @@austinorlando4326 LOL OMRGA LUL YOU MADE ME LAUGH SO FREAKING HARD GOD MY STOMACH HURTS I LAUGHED WAY TOO HARD AT ALL THESE COMMENTS LIKE THE ONE ABOUT FORESKIN SO STUPID BUT VERY FUNNY ! WOULD 10/10 NOT TRY AGAIN BECAUSE MY STOMACH HURTS RIGHT THANKS!!

    • @joshual4513
      @joshual4513 3 года назад +145

      @@IsraelCountryCube then you should seek medical attention from your doctor Jim

    • @ilertargenthorne4639
      @ilertargenthorne4639 3 года назад +38

      Putin arrests Putin for being behind plot to kill Putin

  • @thephony1651
    @thephony1651 Год назад +3716

    Worked at a KFC, Jim came around, great guy. He ordered his food, cooked it, ate it, reviewed it, did a health inspection, brought us to court for unsafe practices, persecuted us, defended us, found us guilty, sent us to jail, guarded us in our cells, broke us out, and he’s still hunting us down to this day. Love that guy.

    • @koboldcatgirl
      @koboldcatgirl Год назад +202

      He also conducted the investigation of the health inspection offices over conflicts of interest due to inspectors also working at the restaurants.

    • @TheLobsterCopter5000
      @TheLobsterCopter5000 Год назад +36

      He persecuted you, eh?

    • @crinklyonion1410
      @crinklyonion1410 Год назад +18

      I worked at that KFC, Jim was one of the best coworkers there.

    • @myenglishisbadpleasecorrec5446
      @myenglishisbadpleasecorrec5446 Год назад +1

      lmao

    • @Brother8237
      @Brother8237 11 месяцев назад +2

      Oh ya I saw that hearing he was the judge too right?

  • @NeedForSpeed.2004
    @NeedForSpeed.2004 2 года назад +1227

    The reason the economy went to shit during Covid is cuz this guy caught it

    • @Simeeow
      @Simeeow Год назад +120

      He developed the vaccine though?

    • @Uerdue
      @Uerdue 11 месяцев назад

      Testing was a bottleneck. Each time a test person showed up, the doctor giving the injection would call in sick the next day. @@Simeeow

    • @venustrap3030
      @venustrap3030 10 месяцев назад +46

      @@Simeeowdidn’t do it fast enough… we’ll miss you Jim

    • @exotic1405
      @exotic1405 9 месяцев назад +42

      ​@@venustrap3030Jim arranged his own funeral and dug his own grave too, tragic that he had to die so young....

    • @JasmineLi
      @JasmineLi 5 месяцев назад +7

      @@exotic1405 he even gave a speech about himself at the funeral, what a lad… we’ll miss him

  • @Mgames_xd
    @Mgames_xd 3 года назад +8482

    Jim: *Gets put on Sick Leave for one day*
    USD exchange rate: -48%

  • @YourFriendDevin
    @YourFriendDevin 5 лет назад +30022

    I had a lawsuit against Jim for embezzling money from my company. I hired Jim as my court attorney. We thought the judge was late to the trial, but Jim got up, walked over to the judge’s chair, and declared himself not guilty...
    Dammit Jim, I should’ve seen this coming.

    • @themk4982
      @themk4982 5 лет назад +2033

      Cameron Anderson Yeah, he’s gotten way to big for his boots, despite having made them himself in one of his factories in Indonesia.

    • @ArcaneEiro
      @ArcaneEiro 5 лет назад +168

      LMFAOOOOOOOMG THIS IS HILARIOUS 🤣😂🤣😅

    • @Trazynn
      @Trazynn 5 лет назад +573

      That's clearly misconduct, magistrate Jim should investigate this judge.

    • @chinodebemonyemenam3455
      @chinodebemonyemenam3455 5 лет назад +52

      Damn u JIMMMM!!!

    • @rapeseed8635
      @rapeseed8635 5 лет назад +28

      @FuckYouAllToPieces holy fuck that escalated quickly

  • @brennanherring9059
    @brennanherring9059 2 года назад +2413

    The Ministry of Magic has been trying to apprehend him for illegal use of a time turner. Little do they know that he is also the minister.

    • @vornamenachname989
      @vornamenachname989 2 года назад +154

      Little do they know, he doesn't use a time turner, he just has very good time management

    • @puppergump4117
      @puppergump4117 Год назад +99

      @@vornamenachname989 He learned the trick of dividing by 0

    • @EvonixTheGreatest
      @EvonixTheGreatest Год назад +45

      @@vornamenachname989 His daily planner causes madness and enlightenment in anyone who reads it

    • @isaackeigwin
      @isaackeigwin Год назад +5

      Great stuff 😂

    • @DiscordModsNeedToTakeAShower
      @DiscordModsNeedToTakeAShower 10 месяцев назад

      1984 vibes lol

  • @Lillith.
    @Lillith. 2 года назад +581

    I'm still confused why he would put himself in trouble when he misses a payment. The mortgages are all issued by his bank. He treats himself like he does any other person, that's the best thing about Jim.

    • @j4log719
      @j4log719 2 года назад +78

      A bank overlooking a default as a "special favor" would shake the very integrity of the banking system. As you say, Jim doesn't hand out special favors, even to himself.

  • @DanielFuentes-mr3nn
    @DanielFuentes-mr3nn 3 года назад +24252

    Jim ran me over with a taxi. I called the police for help and Jim put on his police uniform and brought me to the hospital. Jim was also the receptionist and my nurse and doctor. Jim was my lawyer when I sued Jim and he was the judge and the jury. He found himself guilty and he was the employee and ceo at the bank that gave me his money. I used that money to party and ordered pizza and jim was the pizza delivery guy. Jim's a pretty nice guy even though he ran me over with his car.

  • @JacobJoyce1
    @JacobJoyce1 4 года назад +36256

    When Jim goes to McDonald’s, he orders a burger, cooks the burger, and does a health inspection.

    • @kareemabdulfumar7953
      @kareemabdulfumar7953 4 года назад +1067

      At least he gets a discount

    • @hiimabot8937
      @hiimabot8937 4 года назад +1273

      He also engineers the fryer.

    • @talos_the_automaton2329
      @talos_the_automaton2329 4 года назад +1349

      He also raised, slaughtered, processed, and drove the beef to the location.

    • @jugemujugemugokonosurikire4735
      @jugemujugemugokonosurikire4735 4 года назад +714

      He was also the one who built the truck he drove at to the mcdonalds, and was a rubber tree farmer to collect the rubber for the truck.

    • @redcloud0315
      @redcloud0315 4 года назад +631

      He also yells at himself because he didn't like the service

  • @alx2900
    @alx2900 2 года назад +119

    I bursted out laughing at the end when they showed Jim as the cameraman. It was so unexpected but it shouldn't have been.

  • @sportsfaniguess154
    @sportsfaniguess154 2 года назад +47

    “His 42,000 bosses have nothing but positive things to say about him”
    Did… did you interview all of them?

  • @sumerrana6805
    @sumerrana6805 4 года назад +25953

    *Jim takes a day off
    US economy: Dies

    • @oliver-04
      @oliver-04 3 года назад +686

      he doesnt take days off so dont worry

    • @JP-gt7xn
      @JP-gt7xn 3 года назад +90

      I cant like, your at 666 likes

    • @Lockedo
      @Lockedo 3 года назад +57

      @@JP-gt7xn you relate 666 likes to 69

    • @ultimatdanklin1473
      @ultimatdanklin1473 3 года назад +260

      He never takes a day off. *He takes days on*

    • @aleonne2148
      @aleonne2148 3 года назад +76

      no, don't worry, we still have johnny sins

  • @YurinanAcquiline
    @YurinanAcquiline 5 лет назад +4090

    When I broke my leg, Jim was the police officer who stopped to bring me to the hospital. He was my doctor and even did my xrays. Great guy! Also, he was my taxi driver home. He's also my boss so I know I'm covered.

    • @suelviana1982
      @suelviana1982 5 лет назад +41

      Hes stalking you

    • @janiemoge4153
      @janiemoge4153 5 лет назад +97

      Suel Viana he’s stalking us all...

    • @p_eabean
      @p_eabean 5 лет назад +85

      And when you got that promotion and came home from work, your wife Jim cooked up a feast for you to celebrate! Jimmy boy is also very proud of you

    • @arty_gangster
      @arty_gangster 5 лет назад +2

      Hi Jim

    • @azzat-9046
      @azzat-9046 5 лет назад +11

      Was jim also the pizza delivery guy that crashed into and broke your leg?

  • @chicken1011
    @chicken1011 2 года назад +241

    Jim: I'm the most employed person in the world!
    Larry: hold my beer

  • @YersiniaPestisNPO
    @YersiniaPestisNPO 10 месяцев назад +9

    Jim calling in sick would put the economy into a tailspin. America's number one goal is keeping Jim healthy

  • @danyms4082
    @danyms4082 5 лет назад +12671

    When I killed someone, Jim was literally the judge, jury and executioner
    Edit: it's been a year and this story is now over 40 layers of Jim deep

    • @shadowninja958
      @shadowninja958 5 лет назад +756

      Mr Original and also the victim.

    • @Your-Least-Favorite-Stranger
      @Your-Least-Favorite-Stranger 5 лет назад +436

      Seems Jim screwed up one of those jobs, thats ok though, he was also the world class surgeon who reattached your head. And the lawyer who sued the world class surgeon for malpractice when the head wound up attached to your anus.
      Good job, Jim.

    • @genericname1622
      @genericname1622 5 лет назад +33

      r u ded

    • @BrianBBBB
      @BrianBBBB 4 года назад +29

      Jim is Judge Dredd?

    • @MegaBallPowerBall
      @MegaBallPowerBall 4 года назад +5

      Mr Original You need 12 people for a jury in the US.

  • @WholesomeLad
    @WholesomeLad 5 лет назад +1371

    Yesterday I got pulled over by Jim as I was going over to a prostitutes hotel. Luckily, Jim was my prostitute so I didnt have to go out to pay for the ticket

    • @1yasin6
      @1yasin6 5 лет назад +9

      how homosexuell of you *insert picture of a fat cat*

    • @yoavmor9002
      @yoavmor9002 5 лет назад +88

      @@1yasin6 Bold of you to assume he wasn't also employed to be a female

    • @yoavmor9002
      @yoavmor9002 5 лет назад +33

      @Unknown User Key word is "rarely"

  • @REDARROW_A_Personal
    @REDARROW_A_Personal 2 года назад +138

    Jim is the example what the US expects people with student loans to do.

  • @kommandantgalileo
    @kommandantgalileo Год назад +56

    Jim is a great employee, I've employed him as my editor for 2 years, and he never makes a mistake, thank god thousands of employers also enjoy having Jim around

  • @joeroush3514
    @joeroush3514 6 лет назад +3756

    Jim sold me some condoms, a week later at a doctors appointment he told me that I have syphilis...thanks Jim!

    • @ThePetstv
      @ThePetstv 5 лет назад +242

      Was Jim your hooker too?

    • @callmenorman631
      @callmenorman631 5 лет назад +101

      Thomas Stevens and the hookers pimp

    • @averagegamingplayer
      @averagegamingplayer 5 лет назад +36

      The syphilis was inside the condoms

    • @gendoruwo6322
      @gendoruwo6322 5 лет назад +13

      let me guess: The doctor was Jim, too.

    • @UserName-ii1ce
      @UserName-ii1ce 4 года назад +11

      When I bought condoms from Jim I got my gf pregnant with 2 more Jims

  • @tomsoki5738
    @tomsoki5738 3 года назад +14831

    I hear the 2009 recession was caused when Jim got a cold for 3 days

    • @nn4875
      @nn4875 3 года назад +740

      Yep of course it was only escalated by the fact that he then missed 170,000 of his 270,000 morgatge payments that month.

    • @jimohare2665
      @jimohare2665 3 года назад +152

      Yup sorry bout that

    • @yoursleepparalysisdemon1828
      @yoursleepparalysisdemon1828 3 года назад +24

      *2007

    • @void1313
      @void1313 3 года назад +26

      same, my parents were so angry

    • @jaidenarias5912
      @jaidenarias5912 3 года назад +8

      Read Ephesians 4:29 plz and for anybody who does this: Don’t worship politicians, worship God

  • @s8n458
    @s8n458 2 года назад +39

    Imagine going into a trial and he's the lawyer, the prosecutor and the judge all at the same time

  • @DarcyIsLame
    @DarcyIsLame 2 года назад +26

    Johnny Sins: Finally, a worthy opponent, our battle will be LEGENDARY!

  • @pondererofpointlessdreams5029
    @pondererofpointlessdreams5029 3 года назад +4473

    I went for a job interview and the interviewer was named Mr. Jim. I asked him if he was okay with me working a job on the side, and he replied that he worked 41,999 other jobs, so it was fine. When I asked him what kind of jobs, he replied with "yours." I looked down. My hands had changed from black to Caucasian. I was hired as Jim #42,001.

    • @elmundodeFreeman
      @elmundodeFreeman 3 года назад +290

      How can you be Jim, when I am Jim as well?

    • @wangzai3746
      @wangzai3746 3 года назад +140

      This comment deserves more likes fr absolute masterpiece of a comment

    • @ubercow6611
      @ubercow6611 3 года назад +5

      Needs more likes

    • @chaosinsurgency6636
      @chaosinsurgency6636 3 года назад +28

      @Oh my yeah it is isn't it *loads gun*

    • @unknownartpop
      @unknownartpop 3 года назад +7

      this would be a fun book

  • @Reignor99
    @Reignor99 4 года назад +6882

    Jim is running for mayor of my city. He's also running against himself and putting out political ads on his TV station against himself. He's currently suing himself for defamation of character.

    • @DTO-rq2gv
      @DTO-rq2gv 4 года назад +77

      Lmao this comment is so underrated

    • @mastermati773
      @mastermati773 4 года назад +66

      He has a lot experience in politics.
      There was a situation in Poland that some politicians of opposition cited 'one of top US generals' - Kcuf Drahrepus. It was clearly fake account with mr Sins photos though nobody tried to check if cited words are true. Trolls had published many photos of him with political postulates. Both pro- and anti- government politicians related to 'his' opinions. After couple of days they realized that young people from entire country were rofling and they removed almost all content with American hero of Polish politics :(
      Salute to general Drahrepus!

    • @phoenixchase9271
      @phoenixchase9271 4 года назад +26

      And he is being his own attorney

    • @fodebic5253
      @fodebic5253 4 года назад +2

      Luckily he is not doing that job:
      ruclips.net/video/lCl7I7png08/видео.html

    • @nargarex2390
      @nargarex2390 4 года назад

      STONKS

  • @GoogleAccount-pi9ct
    @GoogleAccount-pi9ct 2 года назад +8

    When he was a kid he went to school, taught himself the information, graded his own papers, drove the bus there and back, and cleaned the school.

  • @c.i.a3268
    @c.i.a3268 2 года назад +9

    Johnny Sin:
    *FINALLY A WORTHY OPPONENT*

  • @Enclave.
    @Enclave. 6 лет назад +5151

    Wow, good on him. I can't even imagine having more than 40,000 jobs.

    • @essennagerry
      @essennagerry 6 лет назад +476

      Enclave Same. I already have my hands full with 30,000, but my friends tell me it's cause I'm lazy.

    • @EndMeNowPls
      @EndMeNowPls 6 лет назад +241

      Please you call that lazy I get stressed out after 20000 jobs 1 more and I lose it. I had 20001 and I had to go to therapy for over 5 years

    • @essennagerry
      @essennagerry 6 лет назад +127

      @@EndMeNowPls 5 years? That's long, man. I went in for three and a half a few centuries back. It really helped me but my brothers still tease me. :/ After that I've only ever needed 20 second sessions.

    • @EndMeNowPls
      @EndMeNowPls 6 лет назад +4

      essennagerry I guess imma punk if it takes me that long to recover. Sometimes I went to avoid my 1 minute shift because it was so long

    • @essennagerry
      @essennagerry 6 лет назад +1

      @@EndMeNowPls Or maybe you got punkd.

  • @BobBob-zg5lz
    @BobBob-zg5lz 3 года назад +6301

    “In other news, President Jim has recently appointed Jim to the Supreme Court, causing senator Jim to speak out against this appointment, we go live to D.C. with award winning reporter Jim.”

    • @Robert-lq1hn
      @Robert-lq1hn 3 года назад +22

      Lol

    • @jaegercat6702
      @jaegercat6702 3 года назад +150

      This has the same energy as the Putin skit they did.

    • @elsovern
      @elsovern 3 года назад +27

      @@jaegercat6702 that was the first thing that popped in my minds after reading this 😂

    • @TheMonthlyJack
      @TheMonthlyJack 3 года назад +12

      @@jaegercat6702 ruclips.net/video/vm1U5E44W90/видео.html
      The skit

    • @Splitstrike_00
      @Splitstrike_00 3 года назад +1

      @@jaegercat6702 guns don't talk... but you my friend... your shots speak a thousand words

  • @FrogInALog_
    @FrogInALog_ Год назад +5

    this is larry from gumball irl

    • @baddie1750
      @baddie1750 Год назад +1

      I was about to say that

  • @kingpatty4628
    @kingpatty4628 2 года назад +12

    I guess he is the only man to get instantly hired without an interview and handing out his resume because everybody employer already recognizes him.

  • @ryanmurphy8388
    @ryanmurphy8388 4 года назад +6704

    The only way this could have been better would be to cut to another report with Jim reading it

    • @sciencenerd777
      @sciencenerd777 3 года назад +315

      True, icing on the cake

    • @fitzhugh7463
      @fitzhugh7463 3 года назад +264

      or for jim to be all of the bosses being interviewed

    • @zaidlacksalastname4905
      @zaidlacksalastname4905 3 года назад +19

      Headcannon

    • @jaidenarias5912
      @jaidenarias5912 3 года назад +12

      Read Ephesians 4:29 plz and for anybody who does this: Don’t worship politicians, worship God

    • @NathanaelTan
      @NathanaelTan 3 года назад +24

      @@jaidenarias5912 Whaaaaaaaaat?

  • @juggernautcanuk9320
    @juggernautcanuk9320 4 года назад +2595

    I once protested Jim when he was CEO of my company and then found him join the crowd as our union leader the next day.

    • @toseeupload8855
      @toseeupload8855 Год назад +62

      Good work Jim

    • @borkerman
      @borkerman Год назад +37

      I guess he was also the lawyer and judge and found himself not guilty of running a yellow union

  • @CuleJoolsPiks
    @CuleJoolsPiks Год назад +6

    If Jim calls in sick the whole country shuts down

  • @itzxotics8898
    @itzxotics8898 3 года назад +17

    Jim is like that one guy from amazing world of gumball who has all the jobs.

  • @boomdacow6520
    @boomdacow6520 4 года назад +4406

    How 8 year old me thinks when I see an actor in more than one movie

  • @felixcsao4184
    @felixcsao4184 4 года назад +6627

    This is literally what every Asian parents expect you to be like when you turn 18

    • @yubiko7725
      @yubiko7725 4 года назад +45

      Lol like fr

    • @kjw79
      @kjw79 3 года назад +77

      And every German father

    • @blackappleslo
      @blackappleslo 3 года назад +34

      Kendra Werner really? Never heard of that. And I have plenty of German friends

    • @haza123b4
      @haza123b4 3 года назад +47

      *"literally"*

    • @audreykoskei4072
      @audreykoskei4072 3 года назад +25

      And every Kenyan parent 😭

  • @Winter_Blossoms
    @Winter_Blossoms 2 года назад +8

    Assuming the man doesn't sleep, he works on average 14.4 seconds per job per week. Jim probably invented cloning though so it's all good

  • @Sejara1528
    @Sejara1528 2 года назад +6

    Larry Needlemeyer: Finally, an opponent.

  • @crystallxix1493
    @crystallxix1493 3 года назад +3172

    Everyone gangsta till the narrator takes off her mask to reveal she was Jim all along

    • @jaystyla629
      @jaystyla629 3 года назад +34

      This deserves at least more than 1k likes

    • @mf1672
      @mf1672 3 года назад +18

      Do you mean anchor?

    • @Human53182
      @Human53182 3 года назад +4

      😂😂😂

    • @b7tt7fl7
      @b7tt7fl7 3 года назад +9

      No it was agatha

    • @princeali8862
      @princeali8862 3 года назад +1

      Lol 🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣

  • @midgetman4206
    @midgetman4206 4 года назад +9964

    Jim is single handedly holding the U.S economy on his shoulders

  • @aussiegaming8156
    @aussiegaming8156 2 года назад +6

    I’ve done the math
    With how much he works he probably gets 3.2 million to 5 million a week which pays off 6-8 mortgages a week which means he needs to work for at least 45,000 weeks to pay for his mortgages
    Jim needs to take over everyone’s jobs

  • @PrajnaIsPrajna-exceptPrajna
    @PrajnaIsPrajna-exceptPrajna 2 года назад +5

    Jim’s grindset is insane

  • @ProGamerS-ok6ux
    @ProGamerS-ok6ux 4 года назад +11440

    This is fake Jim is obviously a paid actor
    He is also director, producer and cameraman

    • @TWH-lp4bn
      @TWH-lp4bn 4 года назад +314

      And the stage

    • @wellsilver3972
      @wellsilver3972 4 года назад +22

      True

    • @MaddieFrenchy
      @MaddieFrenchy 4 года назад +60

      AHHHH THIS COMMENT

    • @ObscuredByTime
      @ObscuredByTime 4 года назад +39

      Underrated comment. I would have left out the second line, though. If you'd left it at the first line, you'd have got a lot of r/whoooosh

    • @perperperpen
      @perperperpen 4 года назад +16

      Dan Williams up

  • @canadadry5449
    @canadadry5449 5 лет назад +3078

    I hear that RUclips's algorithm used to be better when Jim was head over the department. We miss you Jim.

    • @matthew8153
      @matthew8153 4 года назад +78

      Canada Dry
      Yeah, after they transferred him to do demonetizations RUclips went way downhill. But that just goes to show how wonderful of a job he does.

    • @pavlospantazis8932
      @pavlospantazis8932 4 года назад +11

      He also is the judge on my case, a designer of one of my favourite games as well as my marriage coordinator

    • @saccharinesaccharine9175
      @saccharinesaccharine9175 3 года назад

      HELLO HI HI HI9,^0ml
      wbi(ud]l]ݑuݑ]ݑݑ؝K$zGv7_&::u6~ovwn_uӏ8n7v^;{zGGlK#vWzGzLv["‡ao
      r,zhr$dv7d~9,v9v7dvd7d~7dv'cݍቪj*0v

  • @ilovequiktrip3110
    @ilovequiktrip3110 Год назад +4

    Omg. THIS is the explanation for why I keep running into Jim everywhere. He's been my electrician, my babysitter, and my fake dad.

  • @alphaduck2926
    @alphaduck2926 3 года назад +5

    There’s a dude who I talked to a few months back and he said how he was working 4 jobs and how stressful it was. I then told him about Jim and he nearly had a heart attack. Jim and I took him to the hospital and his Doctor was Jim. Jim treated him for minor injuries so he should be ok.

  • @Chryztallic
    @Chryztallic 3 года назад +7560

    Johnny Sins: *"Finally, a worthy opponent!"*

    • @dominikdobrotic8298
      @dominikdobrotic8298 3 года назад +155

      He even does his work!

    • @Quetzalcoatl373
      @Quetzalcoatl373 3 года назад +406

      When I first looked at the thumbnail I thought it was Johnny sins lol

    • @todalio9238
      @todalio9238 3 года назад +28

      5th post! I'm surprised. I thought it would be in the top 3.

    • @iliano101
      @iliano101 3 года назад +7

      @Chris Magno Or barbie

    • @CF73737
      @CF73737 3 года назад +7

      Hahahahhahahaha underrated!

  • @samurilip
    @samurilip 8 лет назад +2689

    unemployment is a full time job

    • @SurvivingAnotherDay
      @SurvivingAnotherDay 6 лет назад +69

      Full time job of *looking* for jobs. Lol

    • @onilamb845
      @onilamb845 5 лет назад +22

      @@SurvivingAnotherDay Here here! Vacation time is decent though!

    • @Kryptnyt
      @Kryptnyt 5 лет назад +17

      A job Jim will never work

    • @definitiveentertainment1658
      @definitiveentertainment1658 5 лет назад +11

      Bellock_Grithlus “When you’re unemployed, there’s no vacation.”
      -Flight of The Concords

    • @goldenfloof5469
      @goldenfloof5469 5 лет назад

      I was the 665 like.

  • @saadamjad87
    @saadamjad87 Год назад +2

    Crazy. That's almost as many jobs as Jonny Sins

  • @davidsaylor7807
    @davidsaylor7807 2 года назад +1

    Johnny Sins literally took 42,000 jobs to fully understand the roles he would later act in. Building his skills as an adult films actor by learning to operate the cameras himself and of course be in adult films while he was still Jim. Amazing.

  • @ARB6769
    @ARB6769 5 лет назад +3751

    Johnny Sins: A worthy opponent, our battle will be legendary

  • @SheerSniper7
    @SheerSniper7 5 лет назад +827

    I remember one time Jim cornered me in an alley trying to steal my wallet to make a quick buck, but I got lucky and Jim happened to be out patrolling that night! Before Jim could stop Jim though Jim got me good in my side with his knife before Jim could take him down! I guess I got double lucky because Jim was getting off his shift as an EMT and was driving home when Jim rang him up to come and help!

    • @Monkofpo
      @Monkofpo 5 лет назад +54

      damn dude, you must've missed him being your doctor as well due to the blood loss.

    • @xmlthegreat
      @xmlthegreat 5 лет назад +41

      @@Monkofpo Jim called up his wife Jim as well to come to the hospital, where Jim thanked Jim profusely for saving this guy's life.

    • @obama7792
      @obama7792 4 года назад +2

      jimception

    • @accountdeactivated5546
      @accountdeactivated5546 4 года назад

      jim

  • @joerivandeweyer3056
    @joerivandeweyer3056 2 года назад +2

    Johnny Sins. The man, the myth, the legend. Plumber, teacher, pilot, guard, you name it.

  • @livenishikireaction
    @livenishikireaction 6 месяцев назад +1

    Did you know he has a son? Georg, he's called. Some people call him Spiders Georg, but I don't know why.

  • @ew4316
    @ew4316 3 года назад +3685

    For those of you wondering how much Jim makes:
    Let's assume all of his jobs are in Illinois. At the time this video was posted, Illinois had 1,107,680 unemployed people, so it's plausible. The average job in Illinois pays around $37,725 per year. With 42,000 jobs and counting, Jim probably makes at least $1,584,450,000 a year. That's $132,037,500 a month.
    "But what about his mortgages?", you ask. Again, assuming he has 1 mortgage per house and he only has houses in Illinois (Fun Fact: he would then own around 5.88% of the houses in Illinois), then he's paying the average monthly $974 * 270,000 homes. That ends up being $262,980,000 per month. That's more than the $201,852 a month he would spend if he bought the most expensive home in Illinois at $58.75 million dollars.
    People typically say you should spend around 28% of your monthly income on living expenses. JIM IS 711.32% OVER BUDGET. Jim may have a good work ethic, but he is terrible with his money. The only thing Jim isn't is an accountant.
    If he had only one house, that he bought outright at a median $210,300, and he saved 20% of his earnings (which would have collected between 2009, when they say he started working, and 2020), he would have around $3,485,790,000 in the bank right now.
    If we assume his mortgages ALSO started in 2009, then he is $17,284,410,000 in debt today. That would make him the poorest man alive.
    However, none of this accounts for the fact that Jim takes 100 new jobs a day, because I've done enough math today.

    • @sdaiwepm
      @sdaiwepm 3 года назад +553

      Jim should be able to save considerably more than 20% of his earnings. He's not eating 42K breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, dating 42K women, driving 42K cars, etc.

    • @Ronin3453
      @Ronin3453 3 года назад +407

      @@sdaiwepm how can you be sure he doesn't?

    • @ew4316
      @ew4316 3 года назад +334

      Les IsMore if we look at how irresponsibility he buys houses, then it is entirely possible that he spends 42k on breakfast.

    • @Ronin3453
      @Ronin3453 3 года назад +192

      @@ew4316 makes sense. He needs a lot of calories after all.

    • @ew4316
      @ew4316 3 года назад +130

      Ronin3453 very true, lol. He’s probably a competitive eater.

  • @qanh96
    @qanh96 4 года назад +3513

    Is this guy Johnny Sins' estranged brother? He does everything.

    • @jemsterr
      @jemsterr 4 года назад +241

      That was my first thought from the thumbnail. The memes wrote themselves.. Except it's really Jim.

    • @paulnottherealmccartney8558
      @paulnottherealmccartney8558 4 года назад +61

      Nonetheless they hold the entire US economy, what a hardworking duo

    • @kcat420
      @kcat420 3 года назад +44

      Nah mate, Johnny Sins does _everyone_

    • @Hannibalkakihara
      @Hannibalkakihara 3 года назад +7

      whos johnny sins?

    • @likhochokri6849
      @likhochokri6849 3 года назад +73

      @@Hannibalkakihara Johny sins is one of the most talented humans this earth has ever seen. From being a pizza delivery man, to a firefighter, to a doctor, engineer and astronaut, army man, he's scaled heights to where no human has ever dared to. His name is Johny sins

  • @yakarotsennin3115
    @yakarotsennin3115 2 года назад +4

    So the real life version of Larry from The Amazing World of Gumball

  • @enchantingtable1550
    @enchantingtable1550 2 года назад +3

    So have you had any work experience?
    Oh... Sorry, we're looking for someone else who's got a bit more experience then 42,000 previous jobs.

  • @NiteRacer
    @NiteRacer 3 года назад +7441

    This guy has better time management than Santa Claus.

    • @thequeertelope7941
      @thequeertelope7941 3 года назад +5

      @Shellstorm 1 pffff

    • @kristyandesouza5980
      @kristyandesouza5980 3 года назад +209

      My man most likely is Santa Claus

    • @jamalak3472
      @jamalak3472 3 года назад +72

      Yeah, Santa just cram all the gifts into his sleigh in the night of Christmass Eve and works only while in pressure from deadline. Jim would do much better job by making propper schedule and delivering presents through the whole year.

    • @OcelotSF
      @OcelotSF 3 года назад +23

      @@kristyandesouza5980, santa does this once a year while that guy does that every day

    • @wolfafterdark
      @wolfafterdark 3 года назад +10

      little did u know, Jim *is* Santa...

  • @BrickWithCatEars
    @BrickWithCatEars 3 года назад +1896

    I died when they said he has 270,000 mortgages to pay with no explanation

  • @user-gv2jh5yq4d
    @user-gv2jh5yq4d 2 года назад +2

    That dude in the amazing world of gumball who works everywhere : god damn it, he's ratting me out!

  • @siddharthakvr5154
    @siddharthakvr5154 Год назад +2

    Johny sins has got himself a rival 😂

  • @fromspace7
    @fromspace7 4 года назад +1773

    Plot twist: Jim was also the camera man filming himself here.

  • @yeahwellthatsjustlikeyouro7466
    @yeahwellthatsjustlikeyouro7466 5 лет назад +968

    Jim sold me some weed then handcuffed and arrested me when I was handing him the money!
    He later got me out of jail, do, phenomenal lawyer I should say, totally recommend him.

  • @joshmellon390
    @joshmellon390 2 года назад +1

    "Keep up the good work Jim, and get on those bathrooms. And hey Jim, could you sign my paycheck, and take a look at my shoulder? Ahh, I'll just see ya in the car on the way home."

  • @randomvidsoninternet
    @randomvidsoninternet 3 года назад +2884

    Jim changed his name to Johnny Sins after this report to undercover himself.

  • @MrTempestSeeker
    @MrTempestSeeker 11 лет назад +302

    Holy crap its my Astronomy teacher. I suspected he had another job when he came to class with scrubs and a surgical mask on.

  • @nohabloemojislosiento4930
    @nohabloemojislosiento4930 2 года назад

    Jim was my manager at a local auto shop as well as the call center I worked at part-time. All other employees at both jobs were furloughed when Jim took contracts for all of our positions.

  • @sealake7935
    @sealake7935 6 лет назад +1399

    It’s not the illegal immigrants!!! It’s Jim!!

    • @TheGreenTaco999
      @TheGreenTaco999 5 лет назад +183

      We need to build a wall and make Jim pay for it

    • @ezzyth8824
      @ezzyth8824 5 лет назад +38

      i mean with 40.000 different jobs a huge wall is pocket change

    • @deflectyou4460
      @deflectyou4460 5 лет назад +18

      D1ALGA actually lets say all his jobs are average paying jobs (even if he has a few high paying jobs the lower end jobs Should balance it out.) so let’s say he makes 50k per 42k jobs. He would only make around two billion which is not even close to how much it would need to make that huge wall. It would cost upward of 16 billion plus yearly maintenance. Even if he made double the amount per job, or even triple he wouldn’t have enough.

    • @WanderTheNomad
      @WanderTheNomad 5 лет назад +70

      @@TheGreenTaco999 He'll build it himself.

    • @krinchkronch
      @krinchkronch 5 лет назад +16

      Sea Lake Bold of you to assume that Jim isn’t illegal

  • @eifersucht2
    @eifersucht2 10 лет назад +530

    Yeah Jim cammed my new car for me and it runs awesome. I was a bit surprised when he pulled me over for speeding on my way home from the shop; but hey, he helped me sell my house for 20% over market so it works out.

  • @TomatoSteve.
    @TomatoSteve. Год назад +3

    when jim calls in sick US economy plumbers down

  • @knight7957
    @knight7957 Год назад +4

    0:56 This is just Johnny Sins

  • @eeenriquegabrielnegro8167
    @eeenriquegabrielnegro8167 4 года назад +2255

    You know it's all joke and games until you wake up to see *jim as your new dad*

    • @JetFalcon710
      @JetFalcon710 4 года назад +41

      _[visible fear]_

    • @ok-tr1nw
      @ok-tr1nw 4 года назад +28

      me: bruh you not my dad
      jim: you're right, killer jim daisan no bakudan bites the jim

    • @LuigixD
      @LuigixD 4 года назад +13

      Jim Yoshikage

    • @Duckverse
      @Duckverse 4 года назад +5

      @@ok-tr1nw i can't escape the jojokes

    • @yosangle
      @yosangle 4 года назад +3

      What are you saying , i thought he is everyones dad. Been my dad for years

  • @jackfreeman1776
    @jackfreeman1776 3 года назад +2577

    I’m proud that Jim is getting 100 new jobs a day. In fact, I recently hired him to write all my comments from now on.

  • @danp8261
    @danp8261 2 года назад +1

    Jim also working at onion was the best part for me

  • @fafster6439
    @fafster6439 8 месяцев назад +2

    I love Jim. Great attitude. Great work ethic. Must be living on caffeine and planning an early retirement

  • @evanhager4266
    @evanhager4266 6 лет назад +754

    Oh, Mr. Richmond? He teaches my two daughters. We lost power the other day and he came and fixed the wiring for us, fastest I've ever seen it done. Oh, and he sang at my mothers wedding!

  • @yunggoth9713
    @yunggoth9713 6 лет назад +6540

    Jim always sells me the best weed. Thanks Jim!

    • @flance81
      @flance81 5 лет назад +5

      comment of the month!

    • @knexfan100
      @knexfan100 5 лет назад +3

      flance81 Necro of the month

    • @xl000
      @xl000 5 лет назад +112

      Ken Carter he's also the cop that will put you in prison ..

    • @Coolsomeone234
      @Coolsomeone234 5 лет назад +1

      Lol

    • @jeremysmith7176
      @jeremysmith7176 5 лет назад +58

      @@xl000 and the judge that sentences you.

  • @musakazem2998
    @musakazem2998 2 года назад +2

    Johnny sins: finally, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary.

  • @louishenn3028
    @louishenn3028 2 года назад +2

    I know this is a comedy sketch but my OCD brain is struggling to figure out how he makes time for all the jobs.

  •  4 года назад +1134

    What do you wanna be when you grow up?
    Little Jim: *yes*

    • @reetanjankaliroychowdhury6197
      @reetanjankaliroychowdhury6197 4 года назад +2

      Lol

    • @derangedcrouton1864
      @derangedcrouton1864 4 года назад +15

      Seeing all of the creativity and hilarious comments in this comment section and then seeing this low effort stolen meme was jarring

    • @Reza-hz1ce
      @Reza-hz1ce 4 года назад +4

      @@derangedcrouton1864 well this low effort meme made me laugh more than some of the "high quality" paragraphs

    • @tayokarate
      @tayokarate 4 года назад +1

      All i can be said jim

    • @zachprouty8595
      @zachprouty8595 4 года назад +2

      How are people still using this you might as well say
      Nobody:
      Jim: I have lots of jobs
      Point is it's dumb as fuck

  • @horrortackleharry
    @horrortackleharry 3 года назад +4555

    Imagine how long it takes Jim to call in sick when he's not feeling well....

    • @samsamsamuelsamsamsamtheio8445
      @samsamsamuelsamsamsamtheio8445 3 года назад +19

      @@saccharinesaccharine9175 tf

    • @damobeck1
      @damobeck1 3 года назад +255

      Don’t worry, he just has everyone on speed dial.

    • @Dajopa-is-here
      @Dajopa-is-here 2 года назад +290

      by the time he's done he would probably be no longer sick

    • @Lkat.
      @Lkat. 2 года назад +109

      He could just put it on the news

    • @ChrisNinjaEagle
      @ChrisNinjaEagle 2 года назад +177

      @@Lkat. Anchor: Breaking News: Over employed worker 'Jim Richmond' has taken a sick leave, let's take it over to our financial advisor Jones Jamesworth for the predictions.
      Jones: WE'RE ALL GONNA BE HOMELESS!
      Anchor: Thank you Jones.

  • @RespecterAlexander
    @RespecterAlexander 3 месяца назад +1

    What a great The Onion video!

  • @soliderarmatang5664
    @soliderarmatang5664 2 года назад

    These videos are gold!

  • @kwii22789
    @kwii22789 3 года назад +1659

    What he didn't tell you about the trip to South Korea was that he is also the South Korean ambassador.

    • @obsoletedelete6059
      @obsoletedelete6059 3 года назад +7

      I hope he's our ambassador

    • @kindanooby2988
      @kindanooby2988 3 года назад +19

      He, himself is the makeup team

    • @jackneverleft4582
      @jackneverleft4582 3 года назад

      This is a shit post that would be worth a damn if it was north korea

    • @devendrakc999
      @devendrakc999 3 года назад +13

      He flies himself to SK cuz he’s also the pilot.

    • @w7u
      @w7u 3 года назад

      @@saccharinesaccharine9175 stroke

  • @ToddSnap3
    @ToddSnap3 3 года назад +2692

    I like how all of the photo’s are credited to Jim himself

    • @kristyandesouza5980
      @kristyandesouza5980 3 года назад +51

      Courtesy Jim Richmond

    • @md.zimamahmed9584
      @md.zimamahmed9584 3 года назад

      Where?

    • @dbonechis
      @dbonechis 3 года назад +3

      @@kristyandesouza5980 69th like also I never saw that

    • @kristyandesouza5980
      @kristyandesouza5980 3 года назад +20

      @@dbonechis Nice, also, just look at the top left corner of the images of him

    • @kristyandesouza5980
      @kristyandesouza5980 3 года назад +7

      @@saccharinesaccharine9175 giving kids a tablet with RUclips open be like:

  • @HowToChangeName
    @HowToChangeName 2 месяца назад +1

    Watching Tokyo Olympic is hardest thing to do when both US and Britain athletes are both Jim

  • @kicknotes
    @kicknotes 3 месяца назад +1

    Jim and I were in film together. He was a total gentleman.

  • @Marqan
    @Marqan 3 года назад +4892

    I really like how objective The Onion is. They don't jump to conclusions saying that high unemployment was caused by Jim, they just factually state that there might be a connection.
    Thank God for The Onion!

    • @letomar5766
      @letomar5766 3 года назад +20

      That's a way of saying it's his fault

    • @nathandaniel5451
      @nathandaniel5451 3 года назад +68

      Ah aren't we glad for the reliability and good reporting!

    • @daemonace5910
      @daemonace5910 3 года назад +18

      This comment is accurate. Correlation does not always equate causatiob

    • @GaganSingh-nx2yv
      @GaganSingh-nx2yv 3 года назад +14

      Onion the sole voice of reason.

    • @chronica6457
      @chronica6457 2 года назад +18

      @Internet Stories My uncle died of Causatiob. Sad stuff

  • @QuentinT96
    @QuentinT96 12 лет назад +427

    This guy is half the staff at my school.

  • @KindaGhostyy
    @KindaGhostyy 8 месяцев назад +1

    always hustlin. Respect.

  • @commenter3002
    @commenter3002 Месяц назад +1

    When I called a taxi, Jim was the driver, but then he sped and pulled himself over, drove himself to court, declared himself not guilty because he was the judge and the jury, and then proceeded to give me a full refund after going back to the taxi, driving me to the restaurant where Jim took my order and cooked my food

  • @riotbreaker3506
    @riotbreaker3506 6 лет назад +990

    Man, he was great in that movie based on his own life.

    • @midshipman8654
      @midshipman8654 5 лет назад +13

      Riot Breaker that’s every movie

    • @aegiseurobeat4559
      @aegiseurobeat4559 5 лет назад +10

      Written, directed, and produced...by Jim.

    • @paaatreeeck
      @paaatreeeck 5 лет назад +2

      I preferred the book honestly.

    • @matabomagagane8998
      @matabomagagane8998 5 лет назад +5

      He was exceptional in every role

    • @DrGandW
      @DrGandW 4 года назад +5

      Jim of All Trades
      Written by Jim Richmond
      Adapted from a stage play by Jim Richmond
      Produced by Jim Richmond
      A Jim Richmond Company Production

  • @figeon
    @figeon 4 года назад +809

    “Sorry, we’re looking for someone with experience for this position”

    • @tubester358
      @tubester358 3 года назад +65

      So this is where all the ludicrous job requirements came from...Jim probably had 4 years experience in executive positions by the time he graduated and knows all programming languages

    • @father2mother3
      @father2mother3 3 года назад +14

      @@tubester358 he has 10 years of experience in a language established 2 years ago.

    • @Watcher413
      @Watcher413 3 года назад +6

      I’ve gone to job interviews for the ENTRY LEVEL job to only be told they are looking for 5+ years experience. So the entry level job with entry level work and entry level pay is going to be done by a journeyman level guy?!?! You can’t say we want a higher skilled guy for a lower skill required and paying job. But I guess the economy lets this happen

  • @redknight801
    @redknight801 2 года назад +2

    Oh my god....this video and then all these comments has made me laugh the most I have in quite the long time! Thanks all!

  • @chrisphelps359
    @chrisphelps359 3 года назад +3

    I have been waiting for my piano lesson for three years. It’s worth it though, he’s good.

  • @alwaysbroke188
    @alwaysbroke188 5 лет назад +113

    I worked with Jim at a paper company for 9 years. Great guy, but he always was flirting with the receptionist.

  • @johnbottari9799
    @johnbottari9799 3 года назад +879

    “He drives a school bus.” Shows him flying a plane lol

    • @robertdowniesyndrome4577
      @robertdowniesyndrome4577 3 года назад +57

      Its a field trip to the twin towers its an old photo

    • @RobMedellin
      @RobMedellin 3 года назад +56

      The plane identifies itself as a school bus. Who are you to tell it what it is and what it is not?

    • @thomasedgerley7453
      @thomasedgerley7453 3 года назад +6

      Dude, this guy doesn't have time for a bus, he's an innovator

    • @thebigcnel
      @thebigcnel 3 года назад +4

      Pilot here. Checks out actually.

    • @elextroblaze
      @elextroblaze 3 года назад +2

      @@RobMedellin Twitter:*TRIGGERED*