I had one baby at 17 and swore I would never have another unless I married. I kept that promise. I also never found a worthy partner altho TBH I thot I was with a potential husband twice but that turned out to be a false flag and am I glad I married neither. I am so happy to be part of this movement of empowered BW, single or married who have decentered men. I didn't know I would find such peace and I wouldn't give this up for anything after what I've seen and experienced
I heard a sermon and a song that said "It ain't nobodies fault but my own if I don't have what I want" I realized that I needed to stop blaming other people and circumstances and get busy figuring out how to get what I wanted. Then realize it is okay to go get it by myself. But it is really good to have others who want to join you. Thanks Stephanie and Reshida and Exodus Summit.
It's actually a healthy life sentence. Studies show that women (no matter the race) live longer without men. They can enjoy their best life without an adult child being too dependent, stressing them out. On the other hand, studies show that men (no matter the race) live in misery without women. They enjoy having a woman put them first. Cooking, cleaning, making their doctor appointments, etc.
Factual. I think they think we're like them, that we cannot possibly be that happy without a partner. It's actually unbelievable to them@@youtubeuserzzzz
And there is nothing wrong with that. You are a whole, complete person, 1of 1. You can and will have a fulfilling life , with or without a male presence.
Ladies, I am 82 years of age and traveled to East Africa TWICE in the past year and a half. Guess what? If the Lord allows, hope to return to LIVE there very soon.
I just turned 62 this week. I love my life being never married and no children. That's the life I carved out for myself. I'll be traveling to my 6th continent - Antarctica - this year, I have longtime friends and family and I'm always working on some project. I also get to work from home, which makes my job enjoyable. If you want to be married with kids, then I support you. The important thing is living the life that brings you joy. ❤
Some of these these kids you put all your heart and soul will not be there for you when you get old and sick..or need them in anyway. some these kids have even toe-tag their Mother...like the 13 y/o kid did to his mother...
I’m 26 and I aspire to live like this. I don’t want to be married and I don’t want kids. Hell, I don’t even want any pets anymore lol I’m at peace and I want to traveling as I please.
That means you will live longer and have less stress. Having and “keeping” a man is not an achievement and I wish more women were not so desperate to be able to show off the man they have.
@@saramatthews7159 I went to San Miguel de Allende in January but my adult children were with me. I thought I wanted to move there. This time I’m in Queretaro. I haven’t seen enough yet but it’s a quick and easy direct flight from Houston.
Once I adopted my child as a single woman, my extreme desire to be married dissipated. I make good money, lived overseas with my child, created a village wherever we went...we are doing great and my life is fulfilling! My child will be off to college in a few years, and I look forward to spending extended time overseas again.
Me too, once I had my baby I realised marriage wasn’t a personal goal it was societal pressure. Don’t mind having a partner but not if it comes with an entire patriarchal system
That's what I realized...it the need to have children, not the actual marriage. I always tell my single friends that wants kids, to do it on their own...dont wait since time is limited.
@@apara2005 I wouldn't advise anyone to do it on their own but I don't believe that having a partner is necessary either. What I wish people would prioritize more is a village. I'd rather be a single parent with a solid village than just have one partner to rely on....A partner and a village would be great though!
@@zee-zm1ioSame here. My two daughters are all I ever wanted and needed. Once they came, I no longer wanted to get married. Eventually I will have to break the engagement.
Well said, Stephanie!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Early in my life, I spent 13 years unhappily married, catering to a selfish spouse. Over time, I centered myself and internalized numerous life lessons. I am now divorced, retired, and happily single. Like the honorable Rep. Maxine Waters said, “I’m reclaiming my time”.🤗🌹
I was married for 28 years!!!! I’m now Single!!! Some people don’t realize it but MOST BLACK HUSBANDS give u health problems!!! All my sickness went away when I divorced him!!! I’m soooo happy and at peace now!! I have plenty of friends and my Beautiful daughter & grand baby fulfill me 4real!!!
You are speaking the truth sis! Most blk men are extremely toxic. I knew I wanted no parts of marriage after seeing how my father behaved. He was verbally, emotionally, physically and financially abusive. And my mom is still married to him after more than 60 years! Crazy!
I have a husband and we have a great time together. I also have friends and we have a good time but truthfully I enjoy my husband's company better. Black women enjoy your life with or without a man.
@@thetwinspuppetshow71 women pick what's available to them, what they have access to. If a bunch of women are continuously picking bad partners then maybe it's the supply that's tainted.
it is amazing that people are bothered that African american women can be happy without being married and without children and that some of us have chosen that life.
I didn’t get married until 35, and lived a very full life before marriage. I’ve now been married for 17-years and my husband supports my travel and the life I’ve chosen (not work-centered). I’m grateful for that!
I was engaged twice and felt more anxious than excited on both occasions and broke it off. I enjoy being single and have no problem being so for the rest of my life.
The world has really tricked some people into thinking that marriage is the golden egg and without it, black women are sad and lacking! Thinking that your value lies in connection with another person and not within yourself is the truly sad part. I love how you also pointed out that some of the women on the trip ARE married, but they haven't lost their individuality and joy in doing things without their husbands.
@JWW10666 having someone you love sharing life with you doesn't always mean marriage. Also, I never said I was opposed or against marriage. I said that marriage is not REQUIRED to find happiness and fulfillment in life for everyone. How one finds joy in life is very individual and can be achieved through many types of relationships.
@@RDCFemmes I never said that I need someone in my life so I can enjoy it. I said life is "more fulfilling" when you have someone to share it with. My mother once told me "if you aren't happy single then you won't be happy if you are married. Nothing on the outside can fix what is broken on the inside."
I have been divorced since 2000. Best years of my life. I've been able to evolve without the pressure of insecure men, who want to stay stuck in their comfort zones. I choose adventure, happiness and joy. I love men, don't get me wrong, but I lived my life for others for far too long and refuse to give my power to another, especially a man who does not know who he is.
Living alone and getting to know yourself as a woman is one of the most indescribable feelings in the world. I encourage every Black woman to experience this. . We all know that Black women are the least likely to date out, so when she does get with a man, he will more than likely be Black.. The Black "community", ESPECIALLY Black men depends on your suffering, muling, and resources. The patriarchy in general depends on women's free labor, but no one is going to take more from Black women than Black men and that's a fact. If you do decide to partner up, expand your options beyond Black men. Being single is awesome too though. Its freedom for me ❤
When I realized how many women are married and miserable, I woke up to the possibility of being single and happy. Thank you for speaking this important message.
They're not miserable. If they were, they would've separated. No one lives in a miserable state. Those women are content with their lives. May not be the happiest but they can live comfortably content.
I was married for 29 years I'm a widow. I miss my husband,but I'm content with my life. It will be 6 years in July but I'm traveling keeping myself busy. I don't know if I'll ever date again,but I'm not looking. Right now I'm doing me and I love it.
@@lifewithsuzzyq2039An inability to be single or embrace solitude is evidence of codependency issues. One should seek therapy if they have this condition.
I'm 39 and divorced, I find truly find it interesting and hilarious that men actually believe that all women are miserable single. 😂Honey, I'm single and childfree, there is nothing on earth better than that! All I need is more money to travel.
Exactly! I’m 51 y/o and single and child-free by choice. I’ve been married once and engaged two more times afterwards. But I had decided to take a break from dating! I have soo much peace w/o the relationship/dating. I don’t want to be partnered anymore. But I’m also sick of people, I know trying to push me to date?! If I’m happy, why must others try and make you change?
@daniellebenning5706 - it's because they are insecure about their own life choices and they need to validated with other people around them living the same way. When you left that lifestyle, to them they feel threatened and you are invalidating their male centered dating culture. You aren't doing it on purpose, but they look at it that way because they are not fully happy with their own decisions.
@@ecclairmayo4153 You women should try dating each other so you can realize home much stress and chaos you bring into a man's life. There's nothing like coming home to a quiet, peaceful home.
It’s the men in comments talking abt growing old alone and getting sick as if men are known for being caregivers lol. Most men leave their spouses when they become ill. Women can’t even get a head cold without a guy walking in five minutes afterwards sneezing and saying he’s sick too.
If it were 100 men traveling he wouldn’t have anything negative to say, neither would the women. Check yourselves as to why you hate to see Black women happy. Why did you feel a need to question grown as_ BW minding their business and having fun🤔
Precisely. I don't know what kind of hate you have to have in your heart to say something negative about a group of people harmlessly enjoying themselves. Really odd behavior.
I'm happily married for 27 years. I agree that you must have your own identity. Many people stay married or have children because they feel it completes them. You need to learn to be complete within yourself
Why do people think we black women or women from other races need a husband to be happy. And when we do get a husband we are truly not happy. Being not married myself I am happy and fulfilled.😊
As a single Black male with no kids in my 40s, this video inspired me as well! I always feel like I’m missing out but what I’m missing out on is living my life. I’m going to work on changing that because it’s time! So thank you 🙏🏿!
Black man here. Love your content. My Great Grandma used to tell my sisters that “a woman’s power came from fellowship with other women.” Particularly elder women. Watching your content helps me to understand my wife a little better. She’s a world traveler and I’m a homebody. We have a life together, and a life apart. I think men need to fellowship more as well.
no desire to be married again especially in my mid 50's. I'm much happier, go where and when I want flying the class in the airlines I want cook what and when I want sleep in get up early when I want its peaceful!
Yes!!! 53 divorced for 10 years and single for 3 years. No desire to be married again, and love being single ❤ Both my children are adults and I can do and be whatever I want! Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Most of those comments just sound like projection...and it's sad that men ALWAYS want to be centered all of the time. Not every black woman is crying on her pillow because she is single and childfree!
Not everyone is called to marriage. And being single is NOT a death sentence. Both marriage and singleness are a blessing just different priorities. Tfs
@@albertmatunda5387Better tell that to BM. They have the highest unemployment numbers. Besides, they have opened the US borders to bring in more workers.
I’ve always felt exhausted in relationships. I’m torn about getting back out there so I don’t bother. I get to dine as I want, travel when I want, randomly go to the movies or to see broadway plays w/o having to check in with anyone. I sleep good at night knowing I’m not being cheated on. Again, it’s not that I don’t want to be partnered but i’m not sure the risk is worth the reward.
Thank You ~ ~ You just summed up the last few years of my life .. I’d like have male companionship again, but like you, and many others, it’s just less stressful on this side (single) …. I chose health.. LoL!!!!!
@@kellimccallum7595 Sometimes the recovery time after the relationship ends is longer than the actual relationship. I think about going “back outside”, I open the curtains and close them back 😂
I was married 24 years then divorced then married 3 years then divorced now single 20 years....im 68. Also I'm very blessed with 4 children and 8 grands.
I've been a subscriber for awhile now too.... I've been living my best life after my marriages and I didn't want to get divorced but it is what it is and I'm moving forward very well. I'm grateful for my past but excited for today and my future. I hope it's ok that I'm here and commenting. Thank you 🙏
In my late 50’s and 2 of my bffs partnered up and are now focused on their husbands. I now on my journey to becoming an expat and looking for a new community.
Forgive me ladies but once married should not married couples be each other’s priority? I agree they should not dump old friends but I think it’s normal to be warped up especially in a new marriage.
@@user-23w8s1n Nowhere in my statement did I say there was anything wrong with their marriages or their focus on their husbands. I said my “journey is on becoming an expat and looking for new community”.
@@user-23w8s1n- if it's to the point of dumping an old friend like the poster above you has experienced, then no I is not healthy or okay. Women still need their own lives outside of their husband. New or not
Shout out to the single ladies 😂🎉 I’m 47, single and no kids. I dated off and on for 20 years and paid my dues 😂😂😂 And I’ve been single for a minute and am enjoying that life. My life is full. I’m blessed. Stephanie I’m glad you’ve shared your experience to show that we can and do thrive.
I am a happily married woman. 😊 Do you! Whatever makes you happy. There are people who want a partner but don't have one, there are people who have a partner but don't have good relationships.
I took my very first cruise celebrating my 43rd Birthday (just last year) all alone and Chile, it was well worth it!!! Living Life to the fullest is not for the future, it's for the RITE NOW. Thank you for sharing your testimony!
🧘🏾♀️🪷Was CELIBATE for 7 years and NO DATING for 5 of the 7 years, and it was bliss!! I wish more women would maximize their single season in BLISS as I did. I wouldn't settle for a partner not TRULY invested in my continued peace and joy, and you shouldn't either(married now🥰)!! Enjoy & Cheers Single Ladies!!🍸😉🍸
If more Black men or just men were supportive humans, they would find the reciprocity comes quite naturally. If Black women made the same comment on a post showing happy Black men doing well we would be attacked in the most verbally violent ways!
If the black men were SPECIFICALLY pushing the fact that we dont need women to be happy, we dont need a family to be happy, we dont care about ANYONE or ANYTHING else but ourselves.. Than yes I think people would deff have an issue with that or at the very least question it. What other group of women are actively promoting that family and children arent important? And than we look at how the black community looks 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♀️. Alot of women in these spaces are promoting SO MUCH more than just "being happy"
@@ghost99100 the women in this space and with regard to the post this video was in response to promote Black women taking care of themselves with love and compassion regardless of what others may think…. The state of the Black family is deeply layered. I don’t want to assume what you are saying but it sounds like the same bs that gets said all the time.. Black women have showed up for families often times doing it all on their own and being blamed for the state of the Black community all on their own. In a white supremest, patriarchal world how can we little old black females be that damn powerful? We are not that is what Black women are saying. We are saying we can’t carry the load all on our own any longer because we get it no matter what, so when the Community is ready to acknowledge that regardless of whether or not you like women that decide to just live and not bother anyone, some of us have decided it’s ok to stop taking bs. We are going to be happy and people like yourself will always still find fault.
Stephanie I appreciate this video so much. I'm 48, single, no kids and not currently dating. I'm also a devout Christian so for years I've had to deal with the pressure of finding a husband as church is so "family" centered. I am so glad to have found people like you. You have helped me to recover from the "shame" of singleness. You are also encouraging me to live my life!! May God bless you richly. I hope to meet you one day soon at one of the exodus summit events.
Your face at 8:49 when you said an American man will take from you, said it all!I simultaneously said “I know that’s right”and gave you a virtual high five. 😂That home is beautiful. I hope you guys have an amazing time ❤😊
42 yr old blk male here. Never married no kids. A believer of God and Blk Love. But my desire of peace is more important than a desire of love. I support every woman on this page if the life they are living is independent. A single life can be graceful. Find supporters. Leave negativity alone. I hear all the time. We are here 1 time. We have 1 go at this. Be selfless w the life you live and if it is without a partner. It can be rewarding.
I'm recently widowed. My husband & I had plans to travel before his life was tragically cut off. I miss him so much; we actually had a lot of fun together and with our own friends individually. It takes an understanding and balance. It's a shame so many didn't experience such joy. Marriage isn't so awful, but to each her own. One thing my tragedy has driven home for me is that life is too short. With or without a mate, enjoy it. My daughter told her how he'd tell her that he wanted me to be happy. He told me that as well and that I made him happy, too. Every couple is different, and everyone is not miserable. With that being said, I'll be taking my first trip to the Caribbean‼️🙌🏾 I'll be going with a longtime friend to Grenada who's checking in on a house that she and her husband is having built there. I'm so excited! The opportunity came, and I jumped on it , and more trips are ahead. This Channel has given me a new perspective on my life. Thank you.
I am sorry for your loss, and glad that you had a happy and fulfilling marriage, and also that you are still dedicated to enjoying your life. It is true that life can be too short, it's good to make the most of it.
It's crazy how bothered they are by us doing our own thing 🤣 Imagine feeling the need to comment on a stranger's relationship status when you could be living your best life
I am 42 year old, no kids. Left the states in 2011 (best decision ever!). Currently Partially retired (work about 25 hours per week). Working on the finding community part, making local friends is complicated. Fulfilling my purpose as a community volunteer worker and operating my hydroponic farm. This channel has been really encouraging.
We had such a phenomenal time in a safe, uplifting environment. I can’t believe there are people who fixed up their gnarled fingers to disrupt that peace. Nikki Giovanni said, “show me a woman not full of herself and I’ll show you a hungry person.” We were all very well fed. 😊
Stephanie, my dear, you don't have to explain yourself to any one! You are so right about everything that you have said. I have known quite a few black women who have been married in their early twenties and now they are older and some have regretted it because they are not happy! I am.very proud to see so many black women who are taking the time out to live the soft and balanced life. You are my inspiration!
You described my mom. He's slowly kīlling her through her immune system and now that her health has declined, she just feels stuck. Their relationship has been the main catalyst to why I have chosen to go the opposite way.
@@briana14333 Same, my mom looks like she is drained. This is what happens when your identity is wrapped up in being married and having kids building your king ... turning yourself into a mule. It is a rarity for bw to find fulfillment in their marriages.
Ooh! I hope no one is on pause waiting for a husband or anyone else before they go after their dreams. Those of us who are married and even have children must live full lives as well and not wait for our husbands or children to join us in every single interest/activity we enjoy.
i'm 27 and enjoyed every moment of this! so many women my age are learning earlier the joys of and how necessary it is to decenter men and prioritze friendship and espcially our friendships with other women. it is an act of self preservation.
I'm so happy to see this! Seeing other black women of all ages, enjoying their best lives, is joyful and inspiring, overall! I did relapse, and "put the cape back on". Currently in the process now of being in transition of becoming liberated and capeless, again. 😊
❤😊Tell them Stephanie. I've been very happily married 34 years and spent many anniversaries and Birthdays away from my husband with my sisterfriends. He has never complained, argued or minded. As long as these occasions made me happy and our relationship grew from me being able to have my other incredible relationships.
I had an American huband. He was a project. He and his mother expected me to be everything. I was worked into the ground while he was relaxing and living his best life. I left the marriage after 2 years. I was not to going to let him steal my dreams, my health, my finances, my emotional wellness. I had to save myself. I became the evil villian for leaving. The church says you should stand by your man. I didn't care. I left the furniture, dishes everything. I packed my clothes and my family pictures in the trunk of my car and left. Best move I ever made.
I so needed to watch this! I look at Stephanie as my big sis. I love her energy and truth. She has the ability to articulate wisdom and truth with a smile and humor 🙌🏾❤.
I was once engaged to a narcissist man, who wanted me to drop my dreams, drop out of college and get a full time job to support him going to medical school...I cancel the wedding..he tried to get me pregnant...that didnt work. I move to LA to work on my dreams and never look back
Wow, great content, it's so beautiful seeing hundreds of Black American women in South Africa, happy, living, celebrating womanhood, their worth and excellence as queens👑🖤💚❤️👑
This message is *soooo timely* !!! I just watched a video of a woman who posted a 50+ part TikTok about her messed up *15 month* marriage! The thing that struck me the most was that her entire ordeal began because *she didn't want to quarantine alone* and so let a strange man move in with her (🤔 personally, I *loved* quarantining alone). Black women really need to hear your message loud and clear!!! I love my single life! I found you in 2020. Since then, I've been trying to prepare myself to join your lifestyle. Then, in 2023, 2 years before retirement, my company pushed me out for being "too old". It was the push I needed but wasn't ready for. But I'm not sad. I'm now living on my pension while preparing to join the Summit! Love you and the work you do! ❤ BTW, 49.5 years looks excellent on you!!!
❤❤❤🥰 I know you will enjoy this new found freedom and new chapter in life. Its wild, I also watched that "Who the F did I Marry" series, and it was a roller coaster I hope to never ride!! Then I thought about how you can only be taken for that wild ride if you allow it and if you are desperate so much for male attention that you purposefully ignore trd flags and are nit centering yourself and what I'd best for you.
I have been mostly happily and sometimes not happily married for 33 yrs, wouldn’t change it for the world, with that said women family/friends are necessary, I have many married and single friends and never has there been a problem between my marriage and my friendships. I love your content, I have learned a lot, keep doing you and supporting Black women I applaud you and your community! For the last several years I have done more traveling and I love it, looking forward to going out of the US later this year for a 1 week vacation (1st time internationally), I have learned so much from the various topics, thank you! ❤
This is awesome, This means you have high self esteem about yourself, more power to you. I'm divorced,59 years old with 2 adult children, 3 grand kids and love being single, I love the the freedom.
This video came right on time. I just finished a session with my therapist and she was bringing up most of the points you just did. I was married in the past and due to trauma I know I most likely will never get into another relationship. My issue is taking this type of risk at this stage in my life. Definitely need to take that first step in order for something to change. After hearing you that decision needs to be sooner rather than later. You are such an inspiration Stephanie. Thank you!
I once caught a husband. I've since been cured of that ailment and hope to never be afflicted again. I have been able to grow my career and my hobbies, travel frequently with my young son and solo, and enjoy time with the people who add to my life if and when I feel like it. Summary: Single, peaceful, and fulfilled! 💆🏿♀️
Once you decide to live your life in this manner, your life becomes so fulfilling that you almost don't even miss a significant partner! Once you realize that your life is full of peace and stress-free and you have a community of like-minded individuals who also live that way or who aspire to live that way, you don't miss anything! When do you have time to miss being in a relationship with a man when you are living a grand full life?! Some ladies according to scripture(if you believe) will have the gift of singleness! Paul talked about it an advice the women and widows to remain single! There is a reason that single women live longer than married women! Let's get into it for real! There are certain demographics of men who hate to see women really enjoying their life and accepting Life On Life's terms!❤
BROTHERS we must GIVE IT UP to SISTAS. these LADIES are the FUTURE they are TRAILBLAZERS facing a sometimes HOSTILE WORLD. WE LOVE these AFRICAN LADIES it's AN AMAZING TIME for BLACKNESS WORLD❤
I am currently trying to get my branding business off the ground so I can move abroad, I love traveling, old skool music and exploring different cultures, this brings me joy. I am single, child-free and will be 49 this summer. I used to love the idea of love, but after being loved bombed over 4 years ago by an American black man who chased me down, begging for my heart, and who I thought was the kindest guy I had ever met, I just decided that I was always happier and more fulfilled as a single woman. I do feel more protected with a man, but I am more peaceful without one. I am choosing to put all my energy into a better relationship with myself. Thanks for the inspiration.
you are truly the Harriet Tubman for our freedom…a lot of women are taking the freedom train to a live that they really want . love you sis..you laughter and smile are contagious
Great commentary! Totally agree. Perhaps if we decenter men and cultivate a sisterhood, you won’t have so many instances like “who TF did I marry?!?” lady. She was desperate to be married and opened herself to a grifter. Because you would be happy and fulfilled by other things and not lonely. And when you’re happy and content, it’s interesting how many good things and good people come your way.
Travel changed everything for me. I have made friends, women and men, all over the globe. Seeing the world beyond the US changes your perspective, it opens you up to what is possible.
I am 48 and have been very happily married for 20 years (come next week, Feb.28). Love my husband, he's a great man, father, etc. Although we do life together, we also both have lives outside of each other that consists of our separate hobbies and me time for both of us is crucial. Live and Love, yall!❤✌🏽
I love this message! I just turned 47 and I am proud that I've made bucket list trips abroad, lived in several different areas of the US, and not pigeon holed myself by sticking to "black" community standards and outlooks on life. I have friends from all different races and social backgrounds. And, I'm child-free and have never been married. Helping people, traveling and meeting new people, and my relationship with Christ Jesus give me fulfillment. I hope more women realize they don't have to wait for a relationship status or someone else to feel whole.
I am really grateful that I stumbled on this channel. I have been passionate about out my personal vitality and expression for over a decade. I have also traveled the world (7 continents) and plan to continue until I die. I am also on my second marriage, have 1 child and 1 grandchild. I have never believed that women’s lives should revolve around men. I have always believed that we are beautiful beings who are worthy of exploration, respect, and joy. I have noticed that it’s difficult to find other women who are similarly oriented for a few reasons. So, it looks like I may have found my people! New subscriber here 👋🏾! ❤
Yaasssss! My husband would have fell back. He wants me to enjoy my life and I feel sorry for these men who think the only way for black women to be happy is with a husband. Not at all. Live y’all’s best life!
Yes My identity is not tied to a Man, Even when am married .I think is very important to realized this on time .This give women the permission to push for what really fills them.
I’m 27, never been in a relationship, no kids and I’m extremely happy. I travel often and enjoy myself every time I solo travel. These men just angry they’re not needed and not the center of attention.They’re the real divas and nobody cares to have them around.
Thank you for this topic. Been there and done the married thing (3X), single, childless, and extremely happy @ age 70. Have lived in Germany, Japan, and Anchorage, Alaska. Have traveled to 5 or 6 continents alone and loved it. Don't let the fact that you can travel alone stop you. Live your life SISTERS!
Having a husband or not. Does not define you. Husband or not...live your life.
The perfect summary of it ALL 💯
CORRECT! Unfortunately, some women on here seem to be missing this very point.
Please tell Simone Biles, Gabrielle Union, Rihanna, Halle Bailey, etc.
Some realize and some do not. It's ok...that's there issue.
Very true
I have been married twice and currently divorced. I made a decision not to have children. I am happy and enjoying my life as a single woman.
I had kids, and I'm saying AMEN to NO kids🙏🏾
@@RadiantRenewalAcademy Same! 💯
I had one baby at 17 and swore I would never have another unless I married. I kept that promise. I also never found a worthy partner altho TBH I thot I was with a potential husband twice but that turned out to be a false flag and am I glad I married neither. I am so happy to be part of this movement of empowered BW, single or married who have decentered men. I didn't know I would find such peace and I wouldn't give this up for anything after what I've seen and experienced
I heard a sermon and a song that said "It ain't nobodies fault but my own if I don't have what I want" I realized that I needed to stop blaming other people and circumstances and get busy figuring out how to get what I wanted. Then realize it is okay to go get it by myself. But it is really good to have others who want to join you. Thanks Stephanie and Reshida and Exodus Summit.
I'd st least like a committed relationship and lots sex wtf lol
I swear men hate to see bw happy and thriving without them. Being single is not a death sentence.
It’s a full, peaceful life sentence that wise people appreciate.
@@AminaPhilosophy Amen!!! I am one of them.
It's actually a healthy life sentence. Studies show that women (no matter the race) live longer without men. They can enjoy their best life without an adult child being too dependent, stressing them out.
On the other hand, studies show that men (no matter the race) live in misery without women. They enjoy having a woman put them first. Cooking, cleaning, making their doctor appointments, etc.
@@youtubeuserzzzz I like yr Lucy (peanuts) logo😂. It goes perfect with yr comment 🎉
Factual. I think they think we're like them, that we cannot possibly be that happy without a partner. It's actually unbelievable to them@@youtubeuserzzzz
A lot of women need to realize not everybody is going to get married no matter how bad you may want it
Facts !
Exactly
This and also children. This is my story. 🤷🏾♀️
And there is nothing wrong with that. You are a whole, complete person, 1of 1. You can and will have a fulfilling life , with or without a male presence.
Yes. Also that anyone can get married if their standards are low enough or they have few enough requirements.
This is a low key Badass flex❤
“I get to be wherever I want in the world for as long as I want to be there.”💪🏾
Yes ma’am❤
Indeed❤
🎯
Amen hun x
Ladies, I am 82 years of age and traveled to East Africa TWICE in the past year and a half. Guess what? If the Lord allows, hope to return to LIVE there very soon.
LOVE THIS! And thank you for the encouragement ❤
❤❤❤that's amazing!
Love this! ❤❤❤
Hope your dreams to live come true. I know you will have a blast.
Thank you ladies for your encouragement. So darling of you to reply.
I just turned 62 this week. I love my life being never married and no children. That's the life I carved out for myself.
I'll be traveling to my 6th continent - Antarctica - this year, I have longtime friends and family and I'm always working on some project. I also get to work from home, which makes my job enjoyable.
If you want to be married with kids, then I support you. The important thing is living the life that brings you joy. ❤
Please come back and tell us about Antarctic! I always wanted to go but I’m a little terrified about the trip.
Some people will never be happy, no matter what state they are in… I love joy, it’s from within , has nothing to do with circumstances ….👍🏾
Love this💚
Some of these these kids you put all your heart and soul will not be there for you when you get old and sick..or need them in anyway.
some these kids have even toe-tag their Mother...like the 13 y/o kid did to his mother...
@@da5449I have three children and thankfully I’ll be able to take care of myself because if I was depending on them I would be screwed!
I’m 26 and I aspire to live like this. I don’t want to be married and I don’t want kids. Hell, I don’t even want any pets anymore lol I’m at peace and I want to traveling as I please.
❤❤❤❤❤
You can and you will
Focus on what you Do want, not what you Don't want. And go for it! ❤
wow i need to meet up with you somewhere
You are a whole being. ❤
That means you will live longer and have less stress. Having and “keeping” a man is not an achievement and I wish more women were not so desperate to be able to show off the man they have.
THAT PART! 💯 (IT'S DEFINITELY NOT A BADGE OF HONOR)
I love men platonically.
thank you.
I am happily divorced. On a solo trip in Mexico and loving it
That's great! I just got back from Mexico last month. 😊
@@tiffanyyisrael7989 - trying to decide where I want to live.
That is so amazing! I want to go to Mexico on a solo trip this year...any recommendations for a city for first-timer?
@@saramatthews7159Mexico City or Cozumel
@@saramatthews7159 I went to San Miguel de Allende in January but my adult children were with me. I thought I wanted to move there. This time I’m in Queretaro. I haven’t seen enough yet but it’s a quick and easy direct flight from Houston.
Once I adopted my child as a single woman, my extreme desire to be married dissipated. I make good money, lived overseas with my child, created a village wherever we went...we are doing great and my life is fulfilling! My child will be off to college in a few years, and I look forward to spending extended time overseas again.
Me too, once I had my baby I realised marriage wasn’t a personal goal it was societal pressure. Don’t mind having a partner but not if it comes with an entire patriarchal system
That's what I realized...it the need to have children, not the actual marriage. I always tell my single friends that wants kids, to do it on their own...dont wait since time is limited.
@@apara2005 I wouldn't advise anyone to do it on their own but I don't believe that having a partner is necessary either. What I wish people would prioritize more is a village. I'd rather be a single parent with a solid village than just have one partner to rely on....A partner and a village would be great though!
@@Michelle.1952by partner do you mean males?
@@zee-zm1ioSame here. My two daughters are all I ever wanted and needed. Once they came, I no longer wanted to get married. Eventually I will have to break the engagement.
Well said, Stephanie!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Early in my life, I spent 13 years unhappily married, catering to a selfish spouse. Over time, I centered myself and internalized numerous life lessons. I am now divorced, retired, and happily single. Like the honorable Rep. Maxine Waters said, “I’m reclaiming my time”.🤗🌹
😂😂😂😂❤
I love it! YES!!!❤❤❤❤😂😂😂
You were “ UNHAPPY “ you picked him ! Lol 😂
I was married for 28 years!!!! I’m now Single!!! Some people don’t realize it but MOST BLACK HUSBANDS give u health problems!!! All my sickness went away when I divorced him!!! I’m soooo happy and at peace now!! I have plenty of friends and my Beautiful daughter & grand baby fulfill me 4real!!!
Same here
Me toooooo!!❤
Relationships can be very toxic and non reciprocal when dealing with them!🥴
This has been statistically proven! I’m happy for you! Black women stop mulling and divest or be single.
❤❤❤
You are speaking the truth sis! Most blk men are extremely toxic. I knew I wanted no parts of marriage after seeing how my father behaved. He was verbally, emotionally, physically and financially abusive. And my mom is still married to him after more than 60 years! Crazy!
I have a husband and we have a great time together. I also have friends and we have a good time but truthfully I enjoy my husband's company better. Black women enjoy your life with or without a man.
💯
Well said.💯
You must picked the right mate, most women don't!!
@@thetwinspuppetshow71 women pick what's available to them, what they have access to. If a bunch of women are continuously picking bad partners then maybe it's the supply that's tainted.
@@Michelle.1952 Maybe the women have bad judgement/values??
I’m 36 and have grown comfortable being single. When I was younger I always had a bf but realized I love me more 😂
Bingo❤
Amen hunnie im 56 i have no husband i have a daughter love my life
I married twice and you are missing nothing.
We know🩵
Too many people are living someone else’s dream instead of basking in their own reality. While in Solitude we’re discovering serenity. 🪴
@@AminaPhilosophy Yessssssssssssssssssssss! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Is it possible that your ability to choose a good mate and companion is flawed?
@@candiced2138 prefer not being married. Been there Done that twice and one daughter. I will never
take BS.
@@candiced2138 they chose me and I accepted. Deal breakers best to divorce
Both died
RIP.
Stayed friends. But I did like marrisge
My identity is not tied to a man. I’m living my absolute best life today and it happens to be WITHOUT a man.
I’m 50 years old, never married and I love my life! Thank you Stephanie for sharing.
Same here!
I’ll be there in a couple of weeks, glad I clicked on this channel because I’m struggling with it. However, God is merciful and gracious
it is amazing that people are bothered that African american women can be happy without being married and without children and that some of us have chosen that life.
I didn’t get married until 35, and lived a very full life before marriage. I’ve now been married for 17-years and my husband supports my travel and the life I’ve chosen (not work-centered). I’m grateful for that!
I am sooo happy for you!!
It's so wonderful to see 100 Black women traveling, getting together, and living their best lives! I salute you all! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🎉
I was engaged twice and felt more anxious than excited on both occasions and broke it off. I enjoy being single and have no problem being so for the rest of my life.
The world has really tricked some people into thinking that marriage is the golden egg and without it, black women are sad and lacking! Thinking that your value lies in connection with another person and not within yourself is the truly sad part. I love how you also pointed out that some of the women on the trip ARE married, but they haven't lost their individuality and joy in doing things without their husbands.
I don't care what you say but life is more fulfilling when you have someone you love to share it with.
@JWW10666 having someone you love sharing life with you doesn't always mean marriage. Also, I never said I was opposed or against marriage. I said that marriage is not REQUIRED to find happiness and fulfillment in life for everyone. How one finds joy in life is very individual and can be achieved through many types of relationships.
@@JWW10666then it is sad that in order to enjoy your life to the fullest you need someone.
@@RDCFemmes I never said that I need someone in my life so I can enjoy it. I said life is "more fulfilling" when you have someone to share it with. My mother once told me "if you aren't happy single then you won't be happy if you are married. Nothing on the outside can fix what is broken on the inside."
@@kellimccallum7595 I never mentioned marriage, I simply alluded to companionship.
I have been divorced since 2000. Best years of my life. I've been able to evolve without the pressure of insecure men, who want to stay stuck in their comfort zones. I choose adventure, happiness and joy. I love men, don't get me wrong, but I lived my life for others for far too long and refuse to give my power to another, especially a man who does not know who he is.
Do you know your self crazy 😢😢
Well said❤
Living alone and getting to know yourself as a woman is one of the most indescribable feelings in the world. I encourage every Black woman to experience this. . We all know that Black women are the least likely to date out, so when she does get with a man, he will more than likely be Black..
The Black "community", ESPECIALLY Black men depends on your suffering, muling, and resources. The patriarchy in general depends on women's free labor, but no one is going to take more from Black women than Black men and that's a fact.
If you do decide to partner up, expand your options beyond Black men. Being single is awesome too though. Its freedom for me ❤
Thanks for this insight I’m grateful
💯💯💯
😂😂😂. And yet Black men are the second highest (behind white men) desirable race by all other races of women…….. this coming from a woman.
When I realized how many women are married and miserable, I woke up to the possibility of being single and happy. Thank you for speaking this important message.
Amen!!!
They're not miserable. If they were, they would've separated. No one lives in a miserable state.
Those women are content with their lives. May not be the happiest but they can live comfortably content.
I was married for 29 years I'm a widow. I miss my husband,but I'm content with my life. It will be 6 years in July but I'm traveling keeping myself busy. I don't know if I'll ever date again,but I'm not looking. Right now I'm doing me and I love it.
I’m glad that you have something positive to say about your marriage. Singless is not for everyone.
@@lifewithsuzzyq2039An inability to be single or embrace solitude is evidence of codependency issues. One should seek therapy if they have this condition.
But u were married u are not as her. A widow a divorcee is not the same as this woman.
I'm 39 and divorced, I find truly find it interesting and hilarious that men actually believe that all women are miserable single. 😂Honey, I'm single and childfree, there is nothing on earth better than that! All I need is more money to travel.
FACTS!💯
Facts !!! Amen to that!!
Exactly! I’m 51 y/o and single and child-free by choice. I’ve been married once and engaged two more times afterwards. But I had decided to take a break from dating! I have soo much peace w/o the relationship/dating. I don’t want to be partnered anymore. But I’m also sick of people, I know trying to push me to date?! If I’m happy, why must others try and make you change?
@daniellebenning5706 - it's because they are insecure about their own life choices and they need to validated with other people around them living the same way. When you left that lifestyle, to them they feel threatened and you are invalidating their male centered dating culture. You aren't doing it on purpose, but they look at it that way because they are not fully happy with their own decisions.
@@ecclairmayo4153 You women should try dating each other so you can realize home much stress and chaos you bring into a man's life. There's nothing like coming home to a quiet, peaceful home.
It’s the men in comments talking abt growing old alone and getting sick as if men are known for being caregivers lol. Most men leave their spouses when they become ill.
Women can’t even get a head cold without a guy walking in five minutes afterwards sneezing and saying he’s sick too.
If it were 100 men traveling he wouldn’t have anything negative to say, neither would the women. Check yourselves as to why you hate to see Black women happy. Why did you feel a need to question grown as_ BW minding their business and having fun🤔
💯facts! Men are definitely given a different "script" in regard to relationships and embracing singleness.
Precisely. I don't know what kind of hate you have to have in your heart to say something negative about a group of people harmlessly enjoying themselves. Really odd behavior.
If 100 black men get together it will be called empowerment but when it's women it's criticized. Smh
Which is crazy because we are truly the queens of minding our own beautiful black business 💅🏾
They are miserable themselves.
I'm happily married for 27 years. I agree that you must have your own identity. Many people stay married or have children because they feel it completes them. You need to learn to be complete within yourself
If you’re happily married then u don’t say it. U show it.
@sabrinagonzales4456 everyone Is entitled to speak their truth.
Why do people think we black women or women from other races need a husband to be happy. And when we do get a husband we are truly not happy. Being not married myself I am happy and fulfilled.😊
As a single Black male with no kids in my 40s, this video inspired me as well! I always feel like I’m missing out but what I’m missing out on is living my life. I’m going to work on changing that because it’s time! So thank you 🙏🏿!
Black man here. Love your content. My Great Grandma used to tell my sisters that “a woman’s power came from fellowship with other women.” Particularly elder women. Watching your content helps me to understand my wife a little better. She’s a world traveler and I’m a homebody. We have a life together, and a life apart. I think men need to fellowship more as well.
Your grandmother was wise! I love her quote. Thank you for sharing that. 💗
@@StephaniePerry You sound like a Freeloader. And you should be proud of your parents having a happy, solid marriage. Do you have any children?
@StephaniePerry Also how do you survive???? And make a living???
no desire to be married again especially in my mid 50's. I'm much happier, go where and when I want flying the class in the airlines I want cook what and when I want sleep in get up early when I want its peaceful!
I BEAR WITNESS! 💯
Yes!!! 53 divorced for 10 years and single for 3 years. No desire to be married again, and love being single ❤ Both my children are adults and I can do and be whatever I want! Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Most of those comments just sound like projection...and it's sad that men ALWAYS want to be centered all of the time. Not every black woman is crying on her pillow because she is single and childfree!
Women are too busy getting the BEST sleep of their lives. 🧖🏾♀️💆🏾♀️😴💤
Shoot, I was crying when I WASN'T!
@@AminaPhilosophy We built the world you live in. Don't forget that.
@@lastdragonxthat explains why it’s trash
@@Untitled0752this comment gave me the best chuckle 😂
Women have to deprogram what we have been told we should get married and have kids. What we should persue is our happiness first.
Needs works in our factories and social security protection.
Not everyone is called to marriage. And being single is NOT a death sentence. Both marriage and singleness are a blessing just different priorities. Tfs
We need workers to protect our social security.
@@albertmatunda5387Better tell that to BM. They have the highest unemployment numbers. Besides, they have opened the US borders to bring in more workers.
I’ve always felt exhausted in relationships. I’m torn about getting back out there so I don’t bother. I get to dine as I want, travel when I want, randomly go to the movies or to see broadway plays w/o having to check in with anyone. I sleep good at night knowing I’m not being cheated on. Again, it’s not that I don’t want to be partnered but i’m not sure the risk is worth the reward.
I question that often, sis...is the risk worth the reward?? Mmmmm, I honestly don't know.
Thank You ~ ~ You just summed up the last few years of my life .. I’d like have male companionship again, but like you, and many others, it’s just less stressful on this side (single) …. I chose health.. LoL!!!!!
@@Brandy3319I get it. People really do die from a broken heart. I don’t know if we really put that in perspective enough.
@@kellimccallum7595 Sometimes the recovery time after the relationship ends is longer than the actual relationship. I think about going “back outside”, I open the curtains and close them back 😂
💯💯💯
I was married 24 years then divorced then married 3 years then divorced now single 20 years....im 68. Also I'm very blessed with 4 children and 8 grands.
I've been a subscriber for awhile now too.... I've been living my best life after my marriages and I didn't want to get divorced but it is what it is and I'm moving forward very well. I'm grateful for my past but excited for today and my future. I hope it's ok that I'm here and commenting. Thank you 🙏
In my late 50’s and 2 of my bffs partnered up and are now focused on their husbands. I now on my journey to becoming an expat and looking for a new community.
I lost friend to marriage too.. its all about her husband and her married friends now
@@FleurRebelle One friend is all about her man now with practically no contact. The other stays in touch regularly but her focus is on her husband.
Forgive me ladies but once married should not married couples be each other’s priority? I agree they should not dump old friends but I think it’s normal to be warped up especially in a new marriage.
@@user-23w8s1n Nowhere in my statement did I say there was anything wrong with their marriages or their focus on their husbands. I said my “journey is on becoming an expat and looking for new community”.
@@user-23w8s1n- if it's to the point of dumping an old friend like the poster above you has experienced, then no I is not healthy or okay. Women still need their own lives outside of their husband. New or not
Shout out to the single ladies 😂🎉 I’m 47, single and no kids. I dated off and on for 20 years and paid my dues 😂😂😂 And I’ve been single for a minute and am enjoying that life. My life is full. I’m blessed. Stephanie I’m glad you’ve shared your experience to show that we can and do thrive.
Im 46, and have been single since 2016. It felt right. It still feels right. I'm content and I dont want that to change.
Awesome!!! Thank you for sharing 😊
I am a happily married woman. 😊 Do you! Whatever makes you happy.
There are people who want a partner but don't have one, there are people who have a partner but don't have good relationships.
I took my very first cruise celebrating my 43rd Birthday (just last year) all alone and Chile, it was well worth it!!! Living Life to the fullest is not for the future, it's for the RITE NOW. Thank you for sharing your testimony!
🧘🏾♀️🪷Was CELIBATE for 7 years and NO DATING for 5 of the 7 years, and it was bliss!!
I wish more women would maximize their single season in BLISS as I did.
I wouldn't settle for a partner not TRULY invested in my continued peace and joy, and you shouldn't either(married now🥰)!!
Enjoy & Cheers Single Ladies!!🍸😉🍸
If more Black men or just men were supportive humans, they would find the reciprocity comes quite naturally. If Black women made the same comment on a post showing happy Black men doing well we would be attacked in the most verbally violent ways!
If the black men were SPECIFICALLY pushing the fact that we dont need women to be happy, we dont need a family to be happy, we dont care about ANYONE or ANYTHING else but ourselves.. Than yes I think people would deff have an issue with that or at the very least question it. What other group of women are actively promoting that family and children arent important? And than we look at how the black community looks 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♀️. Alot of women in these spaces are promoting SO MUCH more than just "being happy"
@@ghost99100 the women in this space and with regard to the post this video was in response to promote Black women taking care of themselves with love and compassion regardless of what others may think…. The state of the Black family is deeply layered. I don’t want to assume what you are saying but it sounds like the same bs that gets said all the time.. Black women have showed up for families often times doing it all on their own and being blamed for the state of the Black community all on their own. In a white supremest, patriarchal world how can we little old black females be that damn powerful? We are not that is what Black women are saying. We are saying we can’t carry the load all on our own any longer because we get it no matter what, so when the Community is ready to acknowledge that regardless of whether or not you like women that decide to just live and not bother anyone, some of us have decided it’s ok to stop taking bs. We are going to be happy and people like yourself will always still find fault.
Stephanie I appreciate this video so much. I'm 48, single, no kids and not currently dating. I'm also a devout Christian so for years I've had to deal with the pressure of finding a husband as church is so "family" centered. I am so glad to have found people like you. You have helped me to recover from the "shame" of singleness. You are also encouraging me to live my life!! May God bless you richly. I hope to meet you one day soon at one of the exodus summit events.
I was miserable when I was married to my ex cheater. He also couldn’t keep a job. I’m much happier and wealthier now as a single woman
❤❤❤
Glad you found yourself and enjoy life x
Your face at 8:49 when you said an American man will take from you, said it all!I simultaneously said “I know that’s right”and gave you a virtual high five. 😂That home is beautiful. I hope you guys have an amazing time ❤😊
Sis, you know it, and some of these African men have been acting like some of the American men lately.
A man not an American man. What's up with elementary logic 😂
42 yr old blk male here. Never married no kids. A believer of God and Blk Love. But my desire of peace is more important than a desire of love. I support every woman on this page if the life they are living is independent. A single life can be graceful. Find supporters. Leave negativity alone.
I hear all the time. We are here 1 time. We have 1 go at this. Be selfless w the life you live and if it is without a partner. It can be rewarding.
Liverpool fan here, but I have to say this is a brilliant comment. Cheers.
Living my life like it's Golden,... Yaaaassssss Stephanie!!;;;, You go Stephanie!!!!
Travel,✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️
I'm recently widowed. My husband & I had plans to travel before his life was tragically cut off. I miss him so much; we actually had a lot of fun together and with our own friends individually. It takes an understanding and balance. It's a shame so many didn't experience such joy. Marriage isn't so awful, but to each her own.
One thing my tragedy has driven home for me is that life is too short. With or without a mate, enjoy it. My daughter told her how he'd tell her that he wanted me to be happy. He told me that as well and that I made him happy, too. Every couple is different, and everyone is not miserable.
With that being said, I'll be taking my first trip to the Caribbean‼️🙌🏾 I'll be going with a longtime friend to Grenada who's checking in on a house that she and her husband is having built there. I'm so excited! The opportunity came, and I jumped on it , and more trips are ahead. This Channel has given me a new perspective on my life. Thank you.
My condolences!!!
I am sorry for your loss
@@didineanatol5949Thank you 🙏🏾🩷
@@saramatthews7159Thank you 🙏🏾🩷
I am sorry for your loss, and glad that you had a happy and fulfilling marriage, and also that you are still dedicated to enjoying your life. It is true that life can be too short, it's good to make the most of it.
38, no kids, never married.
I’m 38, no kids never married as well😊
@@ZionHeiressamen x
It's crazy how bothered they are by us doing our own thing 🤣 Imagine feeling the need to comment on a stranger's relationship status when you could be living your best life
I deeply enjoyed this. Being single has NEVER equaled lonely. If being single means being lonely for you, it would be beneficial to discover why.
It's AMAZING TIME FOR BLACKNESS WORLDWIDE- GO SISTAS GRAB YOUR GREATNESS- YOU ARE LOVED!!!!❤
I am 42 year old, no kids. Left the states in 2011 (best decision ever!). Currently Partially retired (work about 25 hours per week). Working on the finding community part, making local friends is complicated. Fulfilling my purpose as a community volunteer worker and operating my hydroponic farm. This channel has been really encouraging.
Nice! Where did you move to? I'm in the PNW and looking to exit in the next 3 years.
@@kcnnanna i am in Jamaica 🇯🇲
@@worldview576 excellent
A hydroponic farm is a dream life!❤
My sister married and had kids young. Steady trying to dump her kids off on me and asking me about available men.
I’m so happy you are living the life you’re living!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤
Haven’t finished the video but I can tell just by the health of your hair, eyes and skin that you’re thriving ❤️
Girl that’s what I was looking at ❤️
We had such a phenomenal time in a safe, uplifting environment. I can’t believe there are people who fixed up their gnarled fingers to disrupt that peace. Nikki Giovanni said, “show me a woman not full of herself and I’ll show you a hungry person.” We were all very well fed. 😊
Stephanie, my dear, you don't have to explain yourself to any one! You are so right about everything that you have said. I have known quite a few black women who have been married in their early twenties and now they are older and some have regretted it because they are not happy! I am.very proud to see so many black women who are taking the time out to live the soft and balanced life. You are my inspiration!
You described my mom. He's slowly kīlling her through her immune system and now that her health has declined, she just feels stuck. Their relationship has been the main catalyst to why I have chosen to go the opposite way.
@@briana14333 Same, my mom looks like she is drained. This is what happens when your identity is wrapped up in being married and having kids building your king ...
turning yourself into a mule. It is a rarity for bw to find fulfillment in their marriages.
Ooh! I hope no one is on pause waiting for a husband or anyone else before they go after their dreams. Those of us who are married and even have children must live full lives as well and not wait for our husbands or children to join us in every single interest/activity we enjoy.
I was shocked to hear some younger women talk about how they are waiting ti be married before buying a house!
I am going on 62 years old this July and NO children
i'm 27 and enjoyed every moment of this! so many women my age are learning earlier the joys of and how necessary it is to decenter men and prioritze friendship and espcially our friendships with other women. it is an act of self preservation.
I'm so happy to see this! Seeing other black women of all ages, enjoying their best lives, is joyful and inspiring, overall! I did relapse, and "put the cape back on". Currently in the process now of being in transition of becoming liberated and capeless, again. 😊
❤😊Tell them Stephanie. I've been very happily married 34 years and spent many anniversaries and Birthdays away from my husband with my sisterfriends. He has never complained, argued or minded. As long as these occasions made me happy and our relationship grew from me being able to have my other incredible relationships.
I had an American huband. He was a project. He and his mother expected me to be everything. I was worked into the ground while he was relaxing and living his best life. I left the marriage after 2 years. I was not to going to let him steal my dreams, my health, my finances, my emotional wellness. I had to save myself. I became the evil villian for leaving. The church says you should stand by your man. I didn't care. I left the furniture, dishes everything. I packed my clothes and my family pictures in the trunk of my car and left. Best move I ever made.
😂😂😂
Sounds like he probably should’ve married his momma
I so needed to watch this! I look at Stephanie as my big sis. I love her energy and truth. She has the ability to articulate wisdom and truth with a smile and humor 🙌🏾❤.
I was once engaged to a narcissist man, who wanted me to drop my dreams, drop out of college and get a full time job to support him going to medical school...I cancel the wedding..he tried to get me pregnant...that didnt work.
I move to LA to work on my dreams and never look back
Wow, great content, it's so beautiful seeing hundreds of Black American women in South Africa, happy, living, celebrating womanhood, their worth and excellence as queens👑🖤💚❤️👑
I needed this message today, not a day in this life is promised, booked my first solo trip this year :)
Happiness, Joy, Peace of Mind Yaaaassssss!!!!!
This message is *soooo timely* !!! I just watched a video of a woman who posted a 50+ part TikTok about her messed up *15 month* marriage! The thing that struck me the most was that her entire ordeal began because *she didn't want to quarantine alone* and so let a strange man move in with her (🤔 personally, I *loved* quarantining alone). Black women really need to hear your message loud and clear!!! I love my single life! I found you in 2020. Since then, I've been trying to prepare myself to join your lifestyle. Then, in 2023, 2 years before retirement, my company pushed me out for being "too old". It was the push I needed but wasn't ready for. But I'm not sad. I'm now living on my pension while preparing to join the Summit! Love you and the work you do! ❤
BTW, 49.5 years looks excellent on you!!!
❤❤❤🥰 I know you will enjoy this new found freedom and new chapter in life. Its wild, I also watched that "Who the F did I Marry" series, and it was a roller coaster I hope to never ride!! Then I thought about how you can only be taken for that wild ride if you allow it and if you are desperate so much for male attention that you purposefully ignore trd flags and are nit centering yourself and what I'd best for you.
I have been mostly happily and sometimes not happily married for 33 yrs, wouldn’t change it for the world, with that said women family/friends are necessary, I have many married and single friends and never has there been a problem between my marriage and my friendships. I love your content, I have learned a lot, keep doing you and supporting Black women I applaud you and your community! For the last several years I have done more traveling and I love it, looking forward to going out of the US later this year for a 1 week vacation (1st time internationally), I have learned so much from the various topics, thank you! ❤
Queen, that’s why you look so good and live so well - because no husband.
👑👏
This is awesome, This means you have high self esteem about yourself, more power to you. I'm divorced,59 years old with 2 adult children, 3 grand kids and love being single, I love the the freedom.
This video came right on time. I just finished a session with my therapist and she was bringing up most of the points you just did. I was married in the past and due to trauma I know I most likely will never get into another relationship. My issue is taking this type of risk at this stage in my life. Definitely need to take that first step in order for something to change. After hearing you that decision needs to be sooner rather than later. You are such an inspiration Stephanie. Thank you!
I once caught a husband. I've since been cured of that ailment and hope to never be afflicted again.
I have been able to grow my career and my hobbies, travel frequently with my young son and solo, and enjoy time with the people who add to my life if and when I feel like it. Summary: Single, peaceful, and fulfilled! 💆🏿♀️
A kindred spirit 😊!
😂😂😂. Love the first part of your comment!!
Once you decide to live your life in this manner, your life becomes so fulfilling that you almost don't even miss a significant partner!
Once you realize that your life is full of peace and stress-free and you have a community of like-minded individuals who also live that way or who aspire to live that way, you don't miss anything!
When do you have time to miss being in a relationship with a man when you are living a grand full life?!
Some ladies according to scripture(if you believe) will have the gift of singleness! Paul talked about it an advice the women and widows to remain single! There is a reason that single women live longer than married women! Let's get into it for real! There are certain demographics of men who hate to see women really enjoying their life and accepting Life On Life's terms!❤
BROTHERS we must GIVE IT UP to SISTAS. these LADIES are the FUTURE they are TRAILBLAZERS facing a sometimes HOSTILE WORLD. WE LOVE these AFRICAN LADIES it's AN AMAZING TIME for BLACKNESS WORLD❤
NOT Africans ‘Black’ women. Many born in The Caribbean and The Americas..
I am currently trying to get my branding business off the ground so I can move abroad, I love traveling, old skool music and exploring different cultures, this brings me joy. I am single, child-free and will be 49 this summer. I used to love the idea of love, but after being loved bombed over 4 years ago by an American black man who chased me down, begging for my heart, and who I thought was the kindest guy I had ever met, I just decided that I was always happier and more fulfilled as a single woman. I do feel more protected with a man, but I am more peaceful without one. I am choosing to put all my energy into a better relationship with myself. Thanks for the inspiration.
Protected from whom?
I'm single, childfree, and happy! ❤
you are truly the Harriet Tubman for our freedom…a lot of women are taking the freedom train to a live that they really want . love you sis..you laughter and smile are contagious
We Love You, Stephanie and all that you stand for! 😘
Great commentary! Totally agree. Perhaps if we decenter men and cultivate a sisterhood, you won’t have so many instances like “who TF did I marry?!?” lady. She was desperate to be married and opened herself to a grifter. Because you would be happy and fulfilled by other things and not lonely. And when you’re happy and content, it’s interesting how many good things and good people come your way.
This was going to be my topic for tomorrow, but my guest had a death in the family so we had to reschedule. It's such an important conversation.
Travel changed everything for me. I have made friends, women and men, all over the globe. Seeing the world beyond the US changes your perspective, it opens you up to what is possible.
I am 48 and have been very happily married for 20 years (come next week, Feb.28). Love my husband, he's a great man, father, etc. Although we do life together, we also both have lives outside of each other that consists of our separate hobbies and me time for both of us is crucial. Live and Love, yall!❤✌🏽
I love this message! I just turned 47 and I am proud that I've made bucket list trips abroad, lived in several different areas of the US, and not pigeon holed myself by sticking to "black" community standards and outlooks on life. I have friends from all different races and social backgrounds. And, I'm child-free and have never been married. Helping people, traveling and meeting new people, and my relationship with Christ Jesus give me fulfillment. I hope more women realize they don't have to wait for a relationship status or someone else to feel whole.
Live a full and fulfilling life (with or without a husband)!
Ms. Stephanie Perry, That's a word! 🙌🏾
Isn't it wonderful to live alone and on your own. Loving your own company. Nothing like it!!!
I am really grateful that I stumbled on this channel. I have been passionate about out my personal vitality and expression for over a decade. I have also traveled the world (7 continents) and plan to continue until I die. I am also on my second marriage, have 1 child and 1 grandchild. I have never believed that women’s lives should revolve around men. I have always believed that we are beautiful beings who are worthy of exploration, respect, and joy. I have noticed that it’s difficult to find other women who are similarly oriented for a few reasons. So, it looks like I may have found my people! New subscriber here 👋🏾! ❤
Beautiful-Wise-Sistah-Friend-Stephanie: Yes!...Only Black Sistah Friends are privileged to know what Black-Sistah-Friendship is!
Great video. 😍Glowing as usual. You are inspiring PEOPLE, not just women. Thank you for the video. 👌🏾❤️
Yaasssss! My husband would have fell back. He wants me to enjoy my life and I feel sorry for these men who think the only way for black women to be happy is with a husband. Not at all. Live y’all’s best life!
Yes My identity is not tied to a Man, Even when am married .I think is very important to realized this on time .This give women the permission to push for what really fills them.
I’m 27, never been in a relationship, no kids and I’m extremely happy. I travel often and enjoy myself every time I solo travel. These men just angry they’re not needed and not the center of attention.They’re the real divas and nobody cares to have them around.
Thank you for this topic. Been there and done the married thing (3X), single, childless, and extremely happy @ age 70. Have lived in Germany, Japan, and Anchorage, Alaska. Have traveled to 5 or 6 continents alone and loved it. Don't let the fact that you can travel alone stop you. Live your life SISTERS!
Im so happy to see yall in SA! NO NEED to feed the trolls. You are living a life that too many envy. Keep shining bright.