What We Wish We Knew Before Marriage | Challenges

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  • Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
  • Hey, Welcome to our page! We wanted to talk about Things We Wish Would Have Known Before Marriage and just be open about some of our challenges so far in marriage . Tell us what you think, Lets Be Real! Let's Talk About IT! Don't forget to Comment, Like, Subscribe :) #marriage #thecolelife
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    EMAIL US: TheColeLifeYT@gmail.com

Комментарии • 190

  • @paulkeith535
    @paulkeith535 5 лет назад +165

    Luv you guys. Married 22 years to my beautiful black wife and we still adore each other.dont keep secrets

  • @Bettygrl09
    @Bettygrl09 5 лет назад +118

    Don’t mind me as I take notes...

  • @lisafoster89
    @lisafoster89 5 лет назад +22

    Hey Coles, you also mirror each other's idiosyncratic behaviors, facial expressions and sayings. Marriage should improve character and fit that character for the world to come. Y'all are on your way. Keep each other before the throne of grace. God love you both.

  • @RashetaCannon
    @RashetaCannon 5 лет назад +58

    This was def eye opening! I can totally relate to sometimes just needing space. Nothing personal against anyone but I sometimes just need time to process my feelings. Such great points!

  • @bbpadejumo5357
    @bbpadejumo5357 5 лет назад +26

    Wow!!! This is sooo deep! And just re-affirms the need for deep, mature, spiritual ( Christian) , connection in a relationship that will stand the text of time. Great video

  • @dashofreality
    @dashofreality 5 лет назад +15

    “Give me some room, give me some room, ayyyeee”... love it, that was cute! Lol

  • @dreamchaser5758
    @dreamchaser5758 5 лет назад +77

    Intentionality bullet really resonated with me. Great marriages are not coincidental.

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад +5

      Dream Chaser57 Soooo true!!

    • @candacedawn357
      @candacedawn357 4 года назад +1

      Yes, I heard even the Obama's go to counseling.

  • @alenepreston9609
    @alenepreston9609 5 лет назад +53

    Hey guys, great lessons about relationships and life. I think I've said it before, but your transparency is a blessing. Because of the foundation you guys are building on, everything you say takes on great meaning in a spiritual as well as a natural sense. I love the way you teach! I pray God's continued blessings on you both!

    • @karensimmons4560
      @karensimmons4560 5 лет назад +3

      This couple exemplifies how husbands should love their wives and how Christ loves the church!!!!

  • @janaegeea
    @janaegeea 5 лет назад +46

    Nothing to do with the video but the hair is POPPINGTON!!!!

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад +3

      Janae G thanks girl! 💁🏾‍♀️

  • @pommels2
    @pommels2 4 года назад +5

    With the way you guys communicate so well, write a book on relationships! You all are pretty good together! Blessings!!!

  • @kainohosea3152
    @kainohosea3152 5 лет назад +54

    Just discovered your channel today, and I have probably watched half of your videos already if not all of them, you guys are so inspiring and I have learned a lot from you in few hours. Love you all the way from Namibia.

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад +4

      Kaino hosea welcome! And thank you so much!

  • @loved0128
    @loved0128 5 лет назад +22

    Such a beautiful couple❤ This channel is so uplifting! God Bless!

  • @puddin6010
    @puddin6010 5 лет назад +12

    Yes to all of it!!! Sitting here thinking, wow, these would be great to include in marriage vows.. “A three fold cord can not be easily torn“ Ecclesiastes 4:12
    Very insightful of you guys, early in your marriage, tacking issues before they happen. I love it, God loves it...Good work. Stay there, ahead of the curve.
    Thanks for posting

  • @stephanielatrice5939
    @stephanielatrice5939 5 лет назад +11

    Thank you for the transparency in this video!! Great advice for those of us who are waiting on God to bless us with spouses. I pray that we are ready to handle what marriage brings. Marriage is a beautiful thing in the eyesight of God, and I see that same beauty in what you all have!!! I pray He strengthens your marriage continually!

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад +1

      Women of Strength amen and thank you ❤️

  • @lizU-i4j
    @lizU-i4j 4 года назад +1

    About Space. I’ve been in a Christian Marriage for 18 years. Finding time to have your own ‘me’ time is healthy. My husband never understood it when I told him I wanted to take time away to be by myself, sometimes even at home. He is the bubbly one.... I take more time to process things. He always thought there was something wrong. He traveled most of the time for work but I have always been the one at home and around with the kids, so he had his time away and missed home but never really realized that. He gets it now. Whenever I take a trip on my own and return, the fire is rekindled btw us and even the the whole family dynamics. Presently I’m on my “me time” in a hotel somewhere around my town for 7 days to do what I want to do and he’s home with the kids. I will return home refreshed and I’m missing him a lot too. It’s important that you respect your spaces cos of your individualities though you are together and ONE. It is very healthy. I pray for God’s blessing on both of you always.

  • @teach9999
    @teach9999 5 лет назад +7

    I just want to say that when two people meet for the first time and realize they are the one, please take the time to communicate with each other because once you marry that person you don’t have your space anymore because your space now belong to your partner, that is called unselfish love 💕, keep loving each other 🌷🌹

  • @parisnchristlove
    @parisnchristlove 5 лет назад +12

    You two are cute beyond words! Hugs yo you both!

  • @willpoole7593
    @willpoole7593 5 лет назад +9

    Life, love, and realness! You guys are special! Much love and respect!

  • @hollandbroadus4784
    @hollandbroadus4784 5 лет назад +3

    It's great how God allowed you to learn all of this prior to children. You took your time to learn all of this ❤️ Thank you!!! I'm definitely a "fixer" so, I try to make people feel better. I would get discouraged when I couldn't. I had to learn that I'm not anyone's saviour, but that God is. I can go what I need to do to help, but the Lord takes care of it all.

  • @kimmiller9614
    @kimmiller9614 5 лет назад +4

    I could talk about my husband all day, I see his strong points and his week points, we talk about what we need to do, and yes we have date nights when we could have fun together

  • @alethacates2497
    @alethacates2497 5 лет назад +8

    Love the response part to Brian's surprise and that is beautiful! 😄💖😄💖😀💖

  • @dieketsengbolofo5120
    @dieketsengbolofo5120 5 лет назад +12

    Very good conversation indeed!! 👏🏾👌🏾

  • @xiomaracoleman3848
    @xiomaracoleman3848 5 лет назад +2

    This is a great topic.... Yes, marriage, is about discovering each other, & like you said working on each other, another part of it is compromising & respecting each other's feelings without being selfish & self centered, being considered of each others & being supportive when one feels overwhelming...Helping your spouse to have that me time, recognizing when one is wrong & letting your significant other knows that... Marriage is a working progress as the years accumulated....One should live as when one first met & one should not feel like one do more than the other one...communication & respect plus God are the three main components....Love you guys...❤🙇🙏👍

  • @janicejackson9228
    @janicejackson9228 5 лет назад +11

    “Love the Stool-Talks Guys!”😍
    Y’all have a beautiful marriage!
    Keeping God 1st Place & Communication is the Key❣️
    Thanks for sharing ❣️

  • @Jt2REAL1
    @Jt2REAL1 2 года назад

    Thank you for your transparency! Our young adult group is doing a Bible study tonight on the love of God and discussing what God is showing each of us about His love. For me it’s the selflessness of His love and your points on intentionality and accountability are two things I’m dealing with now in my walk with God. Your words helped me put things into perspective. Thank you!

  • @elizabethmaynard5042
    @elizabethmaynard5042 5 лет назад +3

    I just realized how much I appreciate these heart to heart videos. They are so intentional, and heart revealing. You bring a lot of insight and depth to the discussion, and it challenges one to look within to see how one can be a better person, not only in marriage, but as a better person overall. I believe that GOD is using your transparency and this channel for a bigger plan for your lives.

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад

      Elizabeth Maynard wow we truly receive that thank you so much ❤️

  • @AfricanAngel1316
    @AfricanAngel1316 2 года назад +1

    Listening to this has helped me so much today. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 6 years and are planning a wedding. We are going through a new season and it has been really tough for me to navigate. I loved how much this showed me that we are going through similar things.

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  2 года назад

      So happy to hear this helped! We pray you have an incredible marriage.

  • @countyourmiracles.7734
    @countyourmiracles.7734 5 лет назад +4

    I'm not married or dating anyone but you guys are teaching me a lot. So thank you so much. Love you muchas

  • @marantoinet3757
    @marantoinet3757 5 лет назад +2

    First time watching. You never stops learning in your marriage. Marriage brings out something in all of us and to discover you or the other person. You start seeing each other's faults you have never seen before. My husband and I used to argue non stop. I thought, what is this? I rather leave than being miserable. We were discovering each other. I would shut down and when I couldn't take it any longer I would say words that are hurtful and that was not nice. We can't change our spouses so don't even try. You will wore yourself out. Sometimes you can't see eye to eye. One may be clean and the other not. One is organized the other not. These can be irritating. You probably start having grey hair trying to teach him or her. Just have to work at it together. Its not easy. You can get in each other's nerve and definitely need space. Its not that you're tired of the person, you just need time alone to think or do something for you only. Challenges will definitely come and there are levels of them. Especially when you're a Christian you definitely will come under attack. Wish you all the best and pray together, give each other a bible verse daily and talk about the topic of what you read. Encourage each other build each other up.

  • @ramoyarichardson5823
    @ramoyarichardson5823 3 года назад +1

    I'm currently a new subbie. I'm single and I'm desirous to be married. I love your content. I want a marriage similar to yours. Also I pray God remain at the center of your union, as you grow individually and together. God's purest and richest blessing be upon you both.

  • @angelamartin6211
    @angelamartin6211 5 лет назад +10

    Hi , You two BEAUTIFUL people ,thank you for taking us on your travels, God Bless

  • @angelharmon2465
    @angelharmon2465 5 лет назад +8

    I appreciate you guys story/ lives and advice I'm in interracial marriage as well in year 2
    Keep shinning ya'll Light God bless

  • @inbloom3874
    @inbloom3874 5 лет назад +40

    First to comment ayyyy😁😁 I’m so happy you guys finally posted again. I’ve been waiting after binge watching your other videos😂😂 love y’all

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад +1

      victoria anifowose ayyyree thank you!

  • @alethacates2497
    @alethacates2497 5 лет назад +9

    Thanking God for the grace to record ... edit... and sacrifice of time to share in Jesus Christ mighty name!

  • @mariegormley6053
    @mariegormley6053 5 лет назад +14

    I’m loving ur content would u do a video bout how u manage ur times with ur families meaning holidays n what was their in take on u two getting married

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад +2

      Marie Gormley I think that’s a great topic for the holidays! 🙌🏾

  • @MariniFacey
    @MariniFacey 5 лет назад +4

    This is incredible & SO uplifting and encouraging! Blessings! 🎁🎁🎁🎁

  • @nasrinosman238
    @nasrinosman238 5 лет назад +22

    Omg u gusy are just the cutest❤️😻

  • @NJean-lu3mk
    @NJean-lu3mk 5 лет назад +4

    First, Queen you are beautiful! I love your skin. And you two are just too cute!

  • @tabloidtable
    @tabloidtable 5 лет назад +3

    You guys will make awesome counselors for couples at some point. You articulate the challenges and solutions SO well. You have also made me realize that one of the main characteristics you should look for in a partner, is a person who is SO open to change andb growth (I must foster that in myself as well). Great video Guys! Thank you. Continued blessings.
    P.S. Give that cute 🐕 some camera time. What a sweetie.

  • @sharonedwards7112
    @sharonedwards7112 5 лет назад +7

    I love to watch you guys, the way you guys look at each other.paid A Tension when each other speak listen very well very careful I love that

  • @putus406
    @putus406 5 лет назад +4

    Love this video. You guys are awesome! Thank you for sharing!

  • @keithafrederick3052
    @keithafrederick3052 2 года назад

    It takes so much self awareness to be in a marriage. It’s such a blessing that the two of you have that and it makes for honest and true communication. May God continue to bless your marriage.

  • @trinigal5144
    @trinigal5144 5 лет назад +5

    Intelligent, but yet humble. 😊

  • @alethacates2497
    @alethacates2497 5 лет назад +2

    The best part I liked was when you talked about the ajustment part of changing seasons
    ...and totally agree with knowledge vs application

  • @nathenacampbell1294
    @nathenacampbell1294 5 лет назад +1

    I love your channel. you guys transparency is refreshing and enlightening. For those of us who are waiting, it really provides great perspective. keep em coming!!!!

  • @carolynricks3123
    @carolynricks3123 5 лет назад

    These are 4 of the most illuminating processes a newly married couple will have to address and many more in the seasons of life. A new level of accountability resonated with me!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 😘

  • @Tel934
    @Tel934 5 лет назад +3

    "Wuh chu trynuh zay?!?" 💀🤣🤣
    🎶🎵"Gimme sum rume, Gimme sum rume."🎶🎵 LOL

  • @leratoandrose4172
    @leratoandrose4172 5 лет назад +1

    You guys won't realize how I've been waiting for you to post. Thank you for sharing real information. God bless your union.

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад

      Rolien Maya aww Thank you so much! it’s every other week

  • @teetee33nice97
    @teetee33nice97 5 лет назад +7

    Yes. I was recently thinking of you guys and wondering when a video was coming.💖 I do follow you on instagram.Okay time to watch. God Bless. Awesome information. Thank you for sharing. 💖

  • @keyeemanna636
    @keyeemanna636 5 лет назад

    It's so good that you two can talk together. These things you're discussing are things that can break up a marriage, if not handled the way you handle them. You are very mature, together. You are great roll models for any age married couple, irregardless of ethnicities. Thank you.

  • @blbmreclark6
    @blbmreclark6 5 лет назад +1

    I so enjoyed your top four things. Marriage is a beautiful gift from God, and I find it so encouraging that you guys are talking about the work that keeps the gift precious and working. May I offer another suggestion, you kind of touch on it a bit when you said that things would get tougher when you have children. This is something that I wish I had done in my marriage, but it way easier if you start before you have children, and it’s a time of prayer together. Of course you would decide when, where, and time but if it’s something you do before kids, then it’s easier to keep and work kids around your time than the other way around. I hope I’ve made some sense. Love watching you guys. You’re an inspiration to many. May God bless you both. 🥰

  • @abio.195
    @abio.195 5 лет назад +1

    You guys are learning so much and using it to grow your marraige. I'm praying for your babies when you ready for them. God bless you guys and your marraige InJesusName 🙏

  • @27Socrates
    @27Socrates 5 лет назад +7

    love ya!!! My spouse and I have been together for 15 yrs and, we just have fallen into a routine..Its so funny...

  • @fanchonkelley702
    @fanchonkelley702 5 лет назад +4

    The mirroring aspect is so real. I feel like I experience a little of that in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend so I’m sure it’s on a greater level in marriage. Would you say that some of these things won’t be fully understood until you get in a marriage?

  • @doriamarmstrong3064
    @doriamarmstrong3064 5 лет назад +2

    Great advice yall! I'm grateful that I can now go in to marriage knowing these things you wish you would've known. And yeees you did it Brian! Even made her cry and everything! Well done brotha! 👏👏And yea NEVER fly Spirit - That part! hahaha

  • @ebubeobiagwu4601
    @ebubeobiagwu4601 5 лет назад

    I love that you guys are young and so godly. As a single person, and one with other life experiences. I understood early in life that somethings can never be truely understood until it is experienced.
    Being independent for so long, personal space will be huge for me.
    Covering your marriage with the blood of Jesus and praying you all remain blessed.

  • @leboganglebeloane
    @leboganglebeloane 5 лет назад +2

    Love you guys 💝 Learning a lot from you. Married for a little over a year now & everything you're saying makes sense. I'm about to be intentional right now! Thanks so much ❤❤❤🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

  • @kimmiller9614
    @kimmiller9614 5 лет назад +6

    I know how u fell baby girl, I just celebrated 22 years with my husband

  • @annwill2089
    @annwill2089 5 лет назад +2

    Hey guys, congrats again. That's a great discussion, presentation & council. Love you both & blessing

  • @naomirhoja6539
    @naomirhoja6539 5 лет назад +21

    So when is the Before you Get Married book dropping?

  • @ThePatmonShow
    @ThePatmonShow 5 лет назад +1

    Great video. Love the content and love to see the growth. People need this type of material. Good stuff

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад

      ThePatmon Show thank you so much for the love!

  • @shellitdown
    @shellitdown 5 лет назад +1

    Four very valid points! Thanks for keeping it real.

  • @kadeishaantoine3059
    @kadeishaantoine3059 5 лет назад

    I'm a single young lady but listening to you all speak about marriage is definitely teaching me a lot, so thank you!!!

  • @sue.byrd3767
    @sue.byrd3767 5 лет назад +4

    As a woman who was married for more than 10 years, I totally agree with all four key points. I would also add the trust factor. Building trust within a marriage is HUGE. Trust is rooted and strengthened by your relationship with God and manifested daily by your actions with each other. Trust is obtained by decisions you make, orchestrated by God and carried out in your everyday living. You are going to be challenged....BELIEVE THAT! Challenged by situations, circumstances, people, society, and life in general. Those are meant to solidify the vow you made to God to love, honor, cherish and respect the blessing of love he has blessed you with. Embrace it, accept it, and learn from it. Thank You for being open and sharing your nuggets of wisdom about marriage. Hold on....you are in for the journey of a lifetime! Be Blessed

  • @nyriejackson3468
    @nyriejackson3468 5 лет назад

    You can see your flaws or your spouse's flaws, but that doesn't mean the person will change. I've been married for 14 years and working on each other comes with time, but may never happen, unfortunately. But I like you guys. You make some good points. Hope you keep it up.

  • @carenn4461
    @carenn4461 5 лет назад +3

    Have missed you guys. You guys look lovely. You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад

      Caren Nyantika Thank you so much we put up a video every other week 🙌🏾

  • @Make_This_Day_Great
    @Make_This_Day_Great Год назад

    Thank you for sharing. I learned one important thing from your video. Love is a skill, and it takes commitment, patience and understanding to develop. Thanks again ❤

  • @lydiadibissa4820
    @lydiadibissa4820 5 лет назад +1

    I just love and appreciate y'all for these types of videos! Thank you so so much for sharing your experiences and knowledge 💖 God bless your marriage 💕💕💕

  • @xiomaracoleman3848
    @xiomaracoleman3848 4 года назад

    You both are so young but so transparency on the way you made your points across, you all should be counselors....God Bless keep on doing what you all do, you all were made for this.

  • @sunmusicm.b.6407
    @sunmusicm.b.6407 5 лет назад +1

    Very good topic! And I loved your answers. You guys make a very beautiful couple and certainly this is achieved by the efforts you put into it. God bless you!

  • @ithinkigottalent4047
    @ithinkigottalent4047 5 лет назад

    Each of you are getting related to your own humanity. There's nothing bad or wrong about it. There's no "struggle" unless you create it for yourselves and people do it all the time. We are ultimately at the source of our life experience.

  • @arleshawilliams7156
    @arleshawilliams7156 5 лет назад +3

    I really appreciate and enjoy the video and also I 💕 your overalls.

  • @virginamorgan1481
    @virginamorgan1481 5 лет назад +2

    Great video guys. Facts, facts, facts👏💞

  • @mmaolisae3675
    @mmaolisae3675 5 лет назад +1

    Love love you guys!! Such great points. It's wonderful to see how much you both want to grow and be better people. 🖤🖤

  • @deborahblackshear3325
    @deborahblackshear3325 5 лет назад +3

    This is so beautiful. Missed you guys. So glad that to see your post. The accountability is very real when you get married. You have to be in it. Communication is very important.

  • @beatricegathoni7194
    @beatricegathoni7194 4 года назад +1

    Love your advice and wisdom. You are both a breath of fresh air.

  • @lindahawkins723
    @lindahawkins723 5 лет назад +10

    Lol Never take Spirit Airlines.

  • @matildahkapompo8764
    @matildahkapompo8764 5 лет назад +1

    I really love you guys! You're such a blessing and I am learning a lot from you. I'm so looking forward to the next video 😊

  • @loulou_9999
    @loulou_9999 5 лет назад

    I love the positive vibe that the 2 of you bring into your videos. Keep it up.

  • @lucetteryan7965
    @lucetteryan7965 4 года назад

    So enjoying ur videos. It's so great that God is at the forefront of ur life. Learning new things about each other never stops and it's refreshing seeing d love that u have for each other.

  • @girlmellaceus
    @girlmellaceus 5 лет назад

    Great to hear these angles... and oh I so love your dog and how she just sat herself by you

  • @katrinalisa7008
    @katrinalisa7008 5 лет назад +1

    Thanks y'all again for sharing. Great advice as always. 💓

  • @taneishakim3673
    @taneishakim3673 5 лет назад

    You guys are so adorable jus start watching ur videos....
    Im jus loving the Love between you too.... And How God is First and Foremost in ur marriage...
    MAY THE GOOD GRACE OF GOD BLESSED YOU RICHLY NOW AND FOREVER

  • @kayladavis4574
    @kayladavis4574 5 лет назад +3

    Y’all are so cute together ❤️

  • @janetwilliams6043
    @janetwilliams6043 5 лет назад

    I just found you guys recently and you both are Adorable. Great points to touch on abt marriage. Patience and understanding is Vital. Needing space is a good thing, I'm an only child a loner & married a wonderful man who was also a loner. He read alot to which was his quiet/alone time. Unfortunately he was killed in 92 by a drunk driver & I never remarried. HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE & I've been engaged once but it wasn't right, just couldn't do it but we are still friends to this day

  • @mahelettadesse7329
    @mahelettadesse7329 5 лет назад +1

    Welcome my loves ❤️❤️❤️happy to see you again 😘😘😘 I love ❤️ u both may god bless you more .

  • @Sushiiimooo
    @Sushiiimooo 5 лет назад

    This is the first video I have seen and respect to you both. I love the 4 questions you answered. That was true learning and brilliant advice. Thank you both xx 🥰

  • @rigobertomyriebennett2767
    @rigobertomyriebennett2767 5 лет назад

    Guys, you are the best, I am from Costa Rica, you are so inspiring and spiritual, that the reasing have all your blessing, much Love. do not ever change.

  • @whitneyzainmuller7678
    @whitneyzainmuller7678 5 лет назад

    I thank God 🙏🏽
    for letting me come across this video🥰
    I feel so blessed and I can really learn a lot from you guys ❤

  • @abigailkwashi8807
    @abigailkwashi8807 4 года назад

    You two are amazing! So young and so wise. I'm years older than you but I know very little.God bless you

  • @kalexander5114
    @kalexander5114 3 года назад +1

    You two are Great!!!

  • @dorothyspage
    @dorothyspage 5 лет назад

    Everyone has a way of processing through challenges. Space allows that opportunity. It's a good thing. 😉

  • @neishawilliams544
    @neishawilliams544 4 года назад

    Love this video...sharing with my friends. I am learning so much from your videos . Thank you!

  • @deliahiggs1752
    @deliahiggs1752 5 лет назад

    You two sure uplift each other. Time for some little feet running around the house, with God's help I know you both will be wonderful parents.

    • @TheColeLife
      @TheColeLife  5 лет назад

      Delia Higgs Thank you 😩🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @deidraedwards4369
    @deidraedwards4369 4 года назад

    I agree on your comment about Spirit Airlines!!!

  • @louiselove8212
    @louiselove8212 5 лет назад +2

    Awesome 😎 thank you 🙏🏽

  • @catherinetillery4692
    @catherinetillery4692 5 лет назад +1

    New subscribe love you guys.keeping it real with love.

  • @sandrabradley3592
    @sandrabradley3592 5 лет назад

    I’m so glad to see you guys!! Have a bless day!! 😀

  • @emmajacquet5178
    @emmajacquet5178 4 года назад

    'What chu tryyyyyna say?' 😂

  • @missuncongenial1843
    @missuncongenial1843 4 года назад

    Love you two. Always put God first ❤