What I Wish I'd Known Before Marriage

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  • Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024

Комментарии • 614

  • @amoghkurian
    @amoghkurian 5 лет назад +313

    1. Understand their love language ( what they want)
    2. Know their family
    3. Intellectual connection
    4. Don't break God's laws
    Thank you Dr Chapman...

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад +3

      🎯🎯🎯

    • @artistli8036
      @artistli8036 5 лет назад +4

      *plays tiny violin*

    • @angelsrosena
      @angelsrosena 18 дней назад

      Don’t break god’s law? What about free will? 😂😂😂😂

  • @scratchy271
    @scratchy271 5 лет назад +379

    Bless him and his marriage. Bottom line , a man wants to feel respected and a woman wants to feel cherished.

    • @Ascension1004
      @Ascension1004 4 года назад +33

      We want to feel respected as well ☺️

    • @scratchy271
      @scratchy271 4 года назад +5

      @@Ascension1004 Yes indeed:)

    • @Health_Is_Wealth_Media
      @Health_Is_Wealth_Media 4 года назад +24

      Bottom line. If a woman feels cherished she is in essence respected.

    • @scratchy271
      @scratchy271 4 года назад +13

      @@Health_Is_Wealth_Media Well....yes. lol. This whole thing is like what comes first the chicken or the egg. Lol. Both respect and cherish are kind of the same thing:)

    • @mandysimmons2769
      @mandysimmons2769 4 года назад +4

      ur wife ( or future wife will be ) is blessed.

  • @olajide.o
    @olajide.o 4 года назад +136

    "You cannot simulate marriage; marriage is a commitment, not contract..."

    • @BurdenofTheMighty
      @BurdenofTheMighty 4 года назад +13

      Oh hohoho that’s where you’re wrong me friend. You have not been married yet apperantly, because the family court system is the most one-sided mouth destroying curb stomp you will ever suffer in your existence of a man.

    • @INXS-
      @INXS- 4 года назад +7

      It's actually both!

    • @alfredmafokwana8848
      @alfredmafokwana8848 4 года назад +6

      U crazy bro it is a contract u will find out when u divorce

    • @Jenascorner_leapyr24
      @Jenascorner_leapyr24 4 года назад

      Olajide O. Amen 🙏

    • @deficator750
      @deficator750 4 года назад +3

      Govt: no its a contract. See you in court

  • @yemuraimombeshora6058
    @yemuraimombeshora6058 5 лет назад +333

    For you to learn your partner it requires HONESTY of who we are from both parties. Don’t hide who you are in an effort to please the other because once in marriage, the real you will always come out.

    • @ConversationswithJRFloyd
      @ConversationswithJRFloyd 4 года назад +15

      Truth. My Ex hide who he truly was. He presented me with who he wanted me to see. Slowly as we were planning the wedding he start to show me his true self. I go out of the engagement because he wanted to hold me back from being a progressive person.

    • @dwain20111
      @dwain20111 4 года назад

      So true I went thru that bs

    • @DianeHampson
      @DianeHampson 4 года назад +1

      MOST people don't care enough to be honest. It's about validation from everyone around you not love.

    • @daniellamoreno3616
      @daniellamoreno3616 4 года назад

      I agree.

    • @SunnySummer777
      @SunnySummer777 4 года назад

      @M m right?!?! I agree! Whoo!

  • @indakgalak
    @indakgalak 5 лет назад +184

    "Some are Sunday morning Christians, some are daily devotional Christians..." AMEN 🙌🏻

  • @continuousself-improvement1879
    @continuousself-improvement1879 6 лет назад +490

    51 years being married? Damn. He looks young. Bless him and his family.

    • @recabitejehonadab2654
      @recabitejehonadab2654 5 лет назад +15

      Continuous Self-Improvement dyes his hair.

    • @elaineyjoyce
      @elaineyjoyce 5 лет назад +10

      @rayjgu3 Was that serious? Who gets married at 9?

    • @jneptune1540
      @jneptune1540 4 года назад

      Yes true, but divorce is no longer a bad sin. It’s a bib

    • @FUNNYMANERICWHITE
      @FUNNYMANERICWHITE 4 года назад

      Yeah..young enough to be my great great grand father

    • @orgami100
      @orgami100 4 года назад +3

      For 50 years of marriage he must said Yes dear at least 100000 *

  • @pagogo84
    @pagogo84 4 года назад +55

    Here's my two pence:
    Since nobody is perfect, perfection is not and should never be the point. Therefore, before getting married (1) be ready in yourself to simply make a commitment, (2) be mature enough in yourself to have impulse-control.
    THAT'S IT. FOR THE REST, YOU JUST GOTTA DO YOUR BEST.

  • @RealwithAida
    @RealwithAida 5 лет назад +14

    What I learned.
    Don’t depend on your spouse for love. They are human and will inevitably fail you.
    God should be your SOURCE of love that will never fail, deny, or reject you.

    • @kpthenut1
      @kpthenut1 4 года назад

      Alexandra that is what i realised also! I love my husband but despite reading the 5 Love languages he still doesn’t use that knowledge. I have had to accept that he is an act of service guy and that’s how he loves me.

  • @emetella
    @emetella 6 лет назад +319

    How do u manage anger? How do u process pain? ..... Very important questions u need answers to before marriage. Saves u from being a victim of murder

  • @museenergy
    @museenergy 5 лет назад +31

    This woman is such a good interviewer! This video was both informative, engaging, and fun to watch in a way. She covered so many parts of the book also, I loved this.

  • @michaelsorrell601
    @michaelsorrell601 4 года назад +50

    LOVE IS STAYING, WHEN YOU DONT HAVE TO.

    • @YoBro-np7xt
      @YoBro-np7xt 4 года назад +4

      Love is leaving, when a man can't fix a spouse full of hate.

  • @MegaKarume
    @MegaKarume 6 лет назад +159

    Dr. Chapman has good energy. I feel good watching and listening to him. Thank you Doctor.

    • @m_soko
      @m_soko 5 лет назад +1

      Yeah cause young marriage and pre-matirial marriage minus a pervert
      makes a difference🙄

    • @anthonymccoy7711
      @anthonymccoy7711 4 года назад +1

      He has been baptized with spirit and fire. The eyes and energy are a dead give away.

    • @MegaKarume
      @MegaKarume 4 года назад

      @@anthonymccoy7711 Well, I understand that. I think we just differ in terminologies where one is religious and other is kind of scientific...

    • @anthonymccoy7711
      @anthonymccoy7711 4 года назад +1

      @@MegaKarume No, I meant both. I know that energy. Like a kid knows his/ her parent car.

  • @godlovescouture8605
    @godlovescouture8605 5 лет назад +159

    I think living together takes something away (diminishes) from marriage...To me, its'what makes the beginning of marriage exciting and unfolding. I was 23 and did it before I was christian..By the time we married, I wasn't really excited...think women see it as one step closer to altar. But wouldn't it be better, if the guy proposed beforehand to say, your worth it...Not let me try you out.

    • @curlyriri1041
      @curlyriri1041 5 лет назад +7

      Wow
      That's how we do it in our culture

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад +2

      💯💯💯

    • @bongu389
      @bongu389 5 лет назад +6

      Had a guy I loved to bits and pieces but when he 'proposed' to move in don't know why I wasn't excited. I ended that relationship

    • @IKnowSomeToughGirls
      @IKnowSomeToughGirls 5 лет назад +18

      I totally agree with you! That's why I refuse to live with my boyfriend until we're married. Thanks for sharing that!

    • @davidrodgers9558
      @davidrodgers9558 5 лет назад +9

      So why do men have make womens live exciting all the time .. Gets old .. Ill never marry again.. To much work to make a modern woman happy

  • @indym375
    @indym375 5 лет назад +200

    Marriage YOU CAN NOT BE SELFISH ! AND NEED TO BE TRULY READY AND HAVE SELF CONTROL ON EVERYTHING YOU DO

    • @rogbulu8670
      @rogbulu8670 5 лет назад +8

      Thank you for this. When I got married, I must confess that I didn’t know how to be married

    • @thomasjust2663
      @thomasjust2663 5 лет назад +5

      Correct, but that's stuff is easier said than done

  • @whosacheeky
    @whosacheeky 6 лет назад +304

    Definitely taking heed... I'm 24.. Trusting god for that right person... Only he knows who's perfect for me.

    • @selormvital9982
      @selormvital9982 6 лет назад +2

      Hello .. cici, I'm interested to know you more... my name is Selorm

    • @Deborah-go3kh
      @Deborah-go3kh 5 лет назад

      Amen

    • @Kelvinomix
      @Kelvinomix 5 лет назад +1

      hello Cici... the good lord will meet you at the point of your need...

    • @kitteekittee4010
      @kitteekittee4010 5 лет назад

      Amen

    • @yoliefrancisco3114
      @yoliefrancisco3114 5 лет назад +4

      Kris Shaw yep. There's no such thing as perfect person for you. U just gotta adjust yourself to them.

  • @justtam321
    @justtam321 5 лет назад +38

    I read this book before marrying my husband. I love it. It's certainly affective.

    • @fatimafarooq4787
      @fatimafarooq4787 5 лет назад

      What’s the name of the book?

    • @dorovahkiin
      @dorovahkiin 5 лет назад

      @@fatimafarooq4787 This I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married by Gary Chapman

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад

      💣💣💣

  • @michaelogunnowo6067
    @michaelogunnowo6067 5 лет назад +3

    Romantic love doesn't sustain a relationship. It's temporary and euphoric.
    Learn to speak each other's love language. What makes one person feel loved doesn't necessarily make the other person feel loved. To a lady, telling her you love her might not mean anything unless you help her out whenever she's in need.
    Get to know his or her family members, you're likely going to have them in your life for live.
    Such an insightful video.... It blew me out of the saddle.

  • @rebeccabamber2139
    @rebeccabamber2139 4 года назад +7

    I have read this book and it is amazing!! This video doesn't even scratch the surface of the amazing content of this wisdom-filled book. For those of you trying to sum it up in a cutesy little quote, that's nice, but there isn't a magical quote that will help you through your marriage. This book contains practical advice that will help you prevent conflicts and reduce escalation and I highly recommend it to absolutely everyone.

  • @johncousins4665
    @johncousins4665 5 лет назад +20

    That is all common sense to anyone that is even slightly intelligent, however some people might need this. Thankyou for your video.

  • @see_the_journey
    @see_the_journey 8 лет назад +66

    Its so Interesting to hear about his personal experience in his marriage - and what had to change

  • @yahuahsgirl
    @yahuahsgirl 5 лет назад +33

    My favorite phrase Gary used was, "I was blown out of the saddle!!!" at around the 6:20 mark. Very insightful and helpful video. Definitely going to read your book. Just had my heart broken recently and I decided I needed to focus on being there bride of Christ before being the bride of a man and this video was exactly what I needed to watch today. ♥️🙏🏼

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад +1

      🔥🔥🔥

  • @lesegotshegare2293
    @lesegotshegare2293 5 лет назад +10

    He sounds exactly like his audio book, exactly! He's such a wise man with great insight❣

  • @tawanacalamari5712
    @tawanacalamari5712 6 лет назад +153

    You better find out about that family ,listen to that ,people, I mean it!!!!!!

    • @ladidodi8912
      @ladidodi8912 5 лет назад +9

      🗣Say it louder for the saints in the back!!!

    • @elkariis
      @elkariis 5 лет назад +3

      Very important!!!!!

    • @gretabridges3364
      @gretabridges3364 5 лет назад +11

      Meaning= the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree. Repeated patterns & habits of that family

  • @katherinetutschek4757
    @katherinetutschek4757 3 года назад +2

    I agree w the family part. Family shouldn't be the only reason you do/don't get married, but fitting in with each others' family makes a huge, huge difference. Also look at whether or not your spouse stands up for you in front of their family, or lets them run the show.

  • @dbkyhere9229
    @dbkyhere9229 4 года назад +5

    Wait for the right person, preparing yourself to be the right person also. It’s not always finding the right person, but being the right person.

  • @famelitech
    @famelitech 6 лет назад +133

    Just be good friends, love God and be real.

  • @user-xm5le5ok2r
    @user-xm5le5ok2r 5 лет назад +127

    I wish I’d NEVER got married. People in the church pushed me to get married to relieve their conscience of me being the pastors son. I was supposed to be married and not single. Had I known what I know now I would had stayed away from church until I was more sure of who I was.

    • @ehhhh4515
      @ehhhh4515 5 лет назад +29

      Go get counseling. Get to know the Bible for yourself and work on knowing yourself.

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад +2

      Wow, James 1:5.. 🙏🏾

    • @nosiphovalentinemajola8830
      @nosiphovalentinemajola8830 5 лет назад +10

      So sad. Church does that

    • @reikaratnam
      @reikaratnam 5 лет назад +8

      Who’s still not heard of the many scandals that churches and other places of ‘worship’ are constantly trying to cover up?

    • @droopypie
      @droopypie 5 лет назад +9

      How can anyone "push" you to do anything?

  • @Deborah-go3kh
    @Deborah-go3kh 5 лет назад +401

    The best thing is to pray for God to send you the right mate of His choosing and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit rather than your own flesh.

  • @harmonicabraceforguitar1523
    @harmonicabraceforguitar1523 5 лет назад +26

    I heard a preacher say to a couple who wanted to get married. He told them they would have to wallpaper his kitchen. He said that if you are both still friends after you finish the job then I will marry you all.

  • @Jarlem
    @Jarlem 5 лет назад +5

    Wow, I went on my 1st date last weekend and we already discussed all the important questions... it just came naturally to us. Very imformative and a comfortable conversation in the least.

    • @JULYXXIV
      @JULYXXIV 5 лет назад +1

      After ONE date? Run. Don’t look back, just RUN!!

    • @j.rjunior5584
      @j.rjunior5584 2 года назад

      @@JULYXXIV what? Lol

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 5 лет назад +19

    I guess it's okay if we don't have enough plan about everything because marriage is not all about the happy moments that you've shared together, but it's all about how you face all the trials and challenges that you've encountered and learned from all the mistakes that you had.

  • @lorenzodeblock
    @lorenzodeblock 5 лет назад +2

    Good man who passes on his life experience and telling that marriage isn’t a party with only happiness.

  • @marilynd677
    @marilynd677 5 лет назад +13

    People often give up before they get started.
    The average life span of the obsession is 2 yrs.
    We have to speak each other's love language.
    What is she / he into? Golf widow
    How do u process pain?
    20 yr research shows divorce rate HIGHER for those who lived together before getting married: not logical

  • @tustack00
    @tustack00 6 лет назад +64

    iving together before marriage is a definite NO NO! RIGHT ON Doctor Chapman.!

  • @texresident7026
    @texresident7026 4 года назад +4

    Most people need to get married and raise a family. Not everybody, but most people do. I love coming home to peace and quiet; I couldn't have that if I'm married. I already have two sides of a family; I don't want two more. I was raised in a family and I'm still taking a break from that. I know how to be miserable all by myself and at a much cheaper rate than two people miserable together. I can deal with the disadvantages of being single better than I can deal with the disadvantages of being married. I like spending time at a library or museum or taking a short road trip and/or getting my news fix or youtube channels dealing with economics or cars. I don't care about living in a house, I'm not that talkative in addition to being a total introvert as well as probably having asperger's. Most normally socially developed people should spend the time and effort to find the right person to marry and work at it for the rest of their lives. I've heard it can be extremely fulfilling.

  • @adeoyeayodele9914
    @adeoyeayodele9914 7 лет назад +615

    marriage starts with trusting God .

    • @isnowflakee
      @isnowflakee 6 лет назад +10

      It starts with trusting in eachother, and loving eachother

    • @jab7168
      @jab7168 6 лет назад +12

      And it ends with his wrath mightily smiting thee in family court.

    • @spimentel562
      @spimentel562 6 лет назад +3

      The first time I hear my man saying god, you know there'll be no ain't marriage at all. Move along now.

    • @bitTorrenter
      @bitTorrenter 6 лет назад +6

      "God created sex. Priests created marriage."
      - Voltaire

    • @patricemarie2960
      @patricemarie2960 6 лет назад

      I AGREE! ..... THE RIGHT POSITIVE "INTENTIONS" ...... IN THE
      RELATIONSHIP ...... ARE MAJORLY IMPORTANT ..... TOO!

  • @infinity4evr
    @infinity4evr 5 лет назад +6

    She affirmed him at the end. That was sweet.

  • @phloridababe
    @phloridababe 6 лет назад +24

    He’s SO RIGHT about living together first. Even after the vows, the original agreement of just cohabitation seems to linger on.

    • @sandraalmanza2399
      @sandraalmanza2399 5 лет назад +2

      phloridababe He never said living together first...

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад

      @@sandraalmanza2399 She meant about _not_ living together first..

  • @wendyraymond8544
    @wendyraymond8544 5 лет назад +2

    Sunday morning Christians and daily devotional Christians is the difference between Christians and Christ followers. Great advice! Marriage is hard don’t let people lie to you and say it’s not!

  • @amberwhite1530
    @amberwhite1530 6 лет назад +24

    He’s so right about it all!!!

  • @hienienguyen6766
    @hienienguyen6766 5 лет назад +5

    Yeah that is so true . Ppl give up way too easily in the early ages.

  • @demimiller794
    @demimiller794 2 года назад +1

    Such a great and enthusiastic interviewer.

  • @vineninja5882
    @vineninja5882 5 лет назад +57

    "You can not simulate marriage". WOW!!!!!! 🤔

  • @marylouponte4526
    @marylouponte4526 7 месяцев назад

    Very nice advice from Dr. Gary Chapman.. I just saw this video and it's really helpful and insightful.
    I learned a lot and such a soft spoken voice with great wisdom about marriage life.🙏😇😊 Thank God for this man.

  • @nkinyori
    @nkinyori 5 лет назад +19

    "you can't simulate marriage" Interesting perspective.

  • @Megdracula
    @Megdracula 3 года назад +2

    I’ve been with my husband 8 years and married almost 3, I still feel a spark excitement and desire and I love that man so much.

  • @thatswhatnicksaid
    @thatswhatnicksaid 5 лет назад +43

    I'm not Christian, but this is amazing

    • @ebnest123
      @ebnest123 5 лет назад +4

      thatswhatnicksaid not to pressure you or anything but you should read the book of John in the Bible

    • @FendiYT
      @FendiYT 5 лет назад +4

      Find Christ for he loves you Nd could wipe away your problems

  • @jeffreystern5886
    @jeffreystern5886 5 лет назад +80

    Apparently he's not heard of divorce court, family court, no fault divorce, and feminism.

    • @jeffreystern5886
      @jeffreystern5886 4 года назад +9

      @Valiant Woman who picked those husbands?

    • @jeffreystern5886
      @jeffreystern5886 4 года назад +11

      @Valiant Woman Women are the ones who decide if a wedding takes place...just as women are the ones who decide if a birth takes place.

    • @jeffreystern5886
      @jeffreystern5886 4 года назад +15

      @Valiant Woman Agreed... but... if a man wants to marry and a woman does not... No wedding takes place. Just as if a woman wants to abort a pregnancy, but the man wants the child to be born... The abortion takes place. The woman always decides..

    • @JOHNSmith-zx3ln
      @JOHNSmith-zx3ln 4 года назад +12

      Men,don't get married,it is a con with a high chance of being trapped in a hamster wheel, supporting an ungrateful and lazy wife.

    • @conorm2524
      @conorm2524 4 года назад +8

      @Valiant Woman The point here is how many times do women benefit from divorce compared to men? Women win all the prizes. No fault divorce and child custody laws are the reason marriage is actively discouraged. There is NO RISK for a woman to get married. Whereas the man risks everything. No thanks...

  • @diamondunicorn2421
    @diamondunicorn2421 5 лет назад +6

    Ask yourself these two questions..
    Why get married?
    Why involve the law in your love?

  • @BobBob-uv9fq
    @BobBob-uv9fq 3 года назад +3

    Was it wrong of me not to get married but just enjoy my life

  • @earthworldserver
    @earthworldserver 4 года назад +7

    not even married or close but this seems like common sense

  • @stephencoleman4424
    @stephencoleman4424 6 лет назад +5

    Great video. My entire adult life has been centered around work and music. I don't follow sports, but I like the integrity of golf, would love to utilize this an occaisional outlet, nothing more.

  • @djouwairiatmohamed7303
    @djouwairiatmohamed7303 5 лет назад +9

    I already read one of his book the 5 language of love !! One of my favorite book 😄🙂

  • @LoveBeyondTheSea
    @LoveBeyondTheSea 6 лет назад +45

    A person should learn as much as they possibly can about marriage before they get married. What the Bible says primarily, and from experts like this man. My wife and I were married in less than eight weeks and hadn't even met before I got on the plane to meet her for the wedding thousands of miles away, different cultures, much different ages and are going strong over three years.
    I read this man's book a long time ago and loved it and think about it to this day. Like him, I need words of affirmation to feel loved.

    • @jab7168
      @jab7168 6 лет назад +1

      Wow. 3 years.

    • @LoveBeyondTheSea
      @LoveBeyondTheSea 6 лет назад +1

      jab7168 3 happy years. Filipina Fever-catch it!

    • @thellytholdtheathellth5278
      @thellytholdtheathellth5278 6 лет назад +2

      @@jab7168
      LOL

    • @Jadedyxy
      @Jadedyxy 5 лет назад +6

      Sometimes perseverance is key and if both parties are willing to let down their egos, anything is possible

    • @Adrenalean767
      @Adrenalean767 5 лет назад +1

      Jesus's disciples knew about marriage, and they said hey"let's not get married " lol

  • @Lindathemightywitch
    @Lindathemightywitch 6 лет назад +43

    "Maybe that is why we are more successful in our vocations than in our marriage"
    A couple reasons:
    1-Your marriage doesn't pay your bills.
    2. You can please more than just one person but a whole team!
    3- Usually (if you are indeed sucessful) in your workplace, then you are doing something right with your vocation.
    4- People have no choice but to cooperate at a business otherwise, no paychecks!

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад

      Mmm.. 💭💭💭

  • @FunintheSun813
    @FunintheSun813 6 лет назад +10

    I am going to learn and prepare more for marriage. Great advice😊

  • @Urianawoedem7669
    @Urianawoedem7669 6 лет назад +28

    it was in this book I saw the *Five love languages* bless you for that

  • @TM-hl9me
    @TM-hl9me 5 лет назад +4

    Love the interviewer's style in this one!

  • @LMae-rj9qi
    @LMae-rj9qi 5 лет назад +3

    I love Dr. Chapman's wisdom.

  • @shade8346
    @shade8346 5 лет назад +4

    Your book, "the things I wish I'd known before getting married" makes so much sense. I love every single letter of that book. Thank you so much for writing that book sir.

    • @ravindrakumarjks2071
      @ravindrakumarjks2071 2 года назад

      So blessed to have read your book doctor. My wife and I use your insights in our pre marriage counselling sessions with our counselees. God bless you richly to bless many all over the world. We are from Sri Lanka

  • @YAHWILLREDEEM
    @YAHWILLREDEEM 5 лет назад +57

    The issue is if you marry in that 1st romantic phase < less than 2 years, it will not matter what the family does and their level of dysfunction because at that point it will only be ignored because of the deep and strong emotions. After the high wears off, then it will become a problem (you know the issue with that person and their family members! Good discussion!

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад +1

      😅😅😅

  • @Womenswell022
    @Womenswell022 6 лет назад +132

    You cannot simulate marriage...

    • @xXEliminatorXx99
      @xXEliminatorXx99 5 лет назад +11

      you won't. But you can predict it according to your & your partners character & behaviour. Date for 2 or 3 years before getting married.

    • @colourfulkenyan9362
      @colourfulkenyan9362 5 лет назад +3

      That touched me real deep..

  • @0wenfox
    @0wenfox 7 лет назад +78

    superb video. this is helping me, esp the part about becoming a student of your partner and learning their love languages. thank you and shared to show my appreciation

  • @thewatcher4552
    @thewatcher4552 5 лет назад +7

    WOW This was awesome been married for 15yrs October

  • @faliciarisaac1428
    @faliciarisaac1428 2 года назад +2

    Exactly, the high of just dating (not to mention marriage) don't last no more than 2 yrs...but if two people learn each other AFTER learning themselves somewhat with the help of God of course...I believe relationships period would go pass the "in love stage"...my view!!!
    I've learned to love and appreciate me now. I haven't dated for yrs but I'm sharing this to inspire people to self love and just getting to know self first.

  • @ellerocvisionz
    @ellerocvisionz 5 лет назад +4

    If you love me why won’t you help me and be there for me don’t just tell me .... this

  • @ashley71773
    @ashley71773 2 года назад

    I recently got married at 20 years old. My husband and I had been dating for 5 years before we decided to get married. We recently bought his book!

  • @budgetingtowealth8590
    @budgetingtowealth8590 5 лет назад +2

    Am 23 yet to date and get married. I jotted so many points.thanks for your words of wisdom.

  • @khenjuanico2540
    @khenjuanico2540 5 лет назад +12

    Listen to the old ones. They know

    • @urbanvision4365
      @urbanvision4365 3 года назад

      They lived in another era no social media and smartphones dating apps onlyfans...game has changed it's like using an outdated system for current issues won't work

  • @lilianwanjiru5583
    @lilianwanjiru5583 5 лет назад +7

    He's full of wisdom

  • @tlotlooepeng8721
    @tlotlooepeng8721 6 лет назад +12

    love vs infatuation

  • @DarkMagicianMana
    @DarkMagicianMana 6 лет назад +16

    8 years and my hubby and I have never argue. New generation perhaps?

    • @phloridababe
      @phloridababe 6 лет назад +7

      I’ve thought for a long time that if someone doesn’t argue, it’s because they don’t care enough to argue. You’re very lucky to be so attune to your partner!!!!

    • @tawanacalamari5712
      @tawanacalamari5712 6 лет назад +9

      Lol alot of bull shit in your marriage ....is all I read

    • @tawanacalamari5712
      @tawanacalamari5712 6 лет назад +2

      Lies lies lies

    • @DarkMagicianMana
      @DarkMagicianMana 6 лет назад +10

      @@tawanacalamari5712 Sorry you have such a sad life, maybe one day you will find happiness. Have some hope, it won't hurt.

    • @tawanacalamari5712
      @tawanacalamari5712 5 лет назад +7

      @@DarkMagicianMana yeah and you and your husband can keep bullshiting each other about what a perfect little life you created,the last person that gave that bs statement got divorced and the wife filed,mentioning abuse, so please lie to yourself ......the rest of us don't believe what you wrote.

  • @abishagwambui8412
    @abishagwambui8412 5 лет назад +2

    What really caught me off guard was the bit that marriage cannot be simulated. Wow! I'd never looked at it like that.

    • @j.rjunior5584
      @j.rjunior5584 2 года назад

      I don't get it, can you explain it please? Lol

  • @wondon5997
    @wondon5997 4 года назад +2

    He is great role model. Love your books👍👍👍

  • @keenanhenderson8043
    @keenanhenderson8043 5 лет назад +2

    Understanding that each person love language is different

  • @marspuppy.m
    @marspuppy.m 5 лет назад +59

    *If you break God's Laws, they will break you*
    _You cannot simulate a marriage_
    😳🙌🙏❤️

  • @michaelsorrell601
    @michaelsorrell601 4 года назад +5

    Married my 15yr bride, 45 years and 3 children ago.

  • @godlovescouture8605
    @godlovescouture8605 5 лет назад +7

    I see living together and elopement kinda the same way....How you do anything, is how you do everything....You need blessing from family...Running off is a red flag..just sayin

  • @rassiamelo6076
    @rassiamelo6076 5 лет назад +2

    Truth. Living together is not marriage. You have to take the plunge.

  • @claudiapennisi7987
    @claudiapennisi7987 3 года назад

    One of the elements of my love language for my husband was preparing tasty and nutritious meals I knew he enjoyed..and he did!
    Imagine my shock when one day he threw it in my face that being a good wife was not just cooking for him..we are in an informal separation for the last four years.
    Basically means he doesn't give me any support financially and is living a single life again.
    I am working on a formal separation to change this..wish I had seen the signs that he was the biggest narcisist ever 😭

  • @johop1496
    @johop1496 2 года назад +1

    This man is a genius in marriage counseling

  • @bartle9190
    @bartle9190 6 лет назад +93

    *how the heck did RUclips take me here I’m not even old enough for dating*

    • @mimiaria7211
      @mimiaria7211 6 лет назад +3

      😂

    • @farahzahra22
      @farahzahra22 5 лет назад +27

      Good for your development

    • @omeatai
      @omeatai 5 лет назад +2

      Looool

    • @u159411
      @u159411 5 лет назад +13

      Like he said, you need to start preparing NOW! Lol

    • @acharich
      @acharich 5 лет назад +7

      To prepare u early, like he said.. 😂🙏🏾

  • @ledzarulje
    @ledzarulje 5 лет назад +4

    So for him it is just about making woman happy if you want to have a happy life

    • @apriltowers78
      @apriltowers78 5 лет назад +3

      He talks to women about making their husbands happy too!!

  • @Centurion101B3C
    @Centurion101B3C 3 года назад +1

    Hm, I got married with the woman that I have known for 50 years and there's not been a day that I haven't discovered something new in our dynamics that has not deepened our relationship.

    • @LoveLife-ry5mm
      @LoveLife-ry5mm 3 года назад

      Hey, do you wish to get your ex back or restore someone you love ?
      if yes then l'd like to recommend you to a love specialist who brought my ex back

  • @renostubbs8504
    @renostubbs8504 5 лет назад +20

    I agree with allnthe gentleman said on living together before marriage. Dangerous

  • @whiskywillie
    @whiskywillie 5 лет назад +35

    Wife to husband: You are selfish and centric.
    Husband to wife: You are selfish and centric.
    Compatibility at its best🤓

  • @heliaalves9062
    @heliaalves9062 5 лет назад +2

    My love language is "acts of service" too :) Great video, thank you.

  • @wendyloo4679
    @wendyloo4679 6 лет назад +60

    When we got married...move out like the 🐦 from the nest . We are adults...be independent. Built up your own family.( Not include your parents and siblings)
    From Malaysia 😎

    • @bunnyahw701
      @bunnyahw701 5 лет назад +2

      You still need support from family. Not be COMPLETELY disconnected from your family

    • @lesliemoore2644
      @lesliemoore2644 5 лет назад +2

      Leave and cleave

    • @lemostjoyousrenegade
      @lemostjoyousrenegade 3 года назад

      Exactly.
      And it’s especially important to do so when family of origins are extremely dysfunctional and toxic - unkind, abusive, filled with narcissists.

  • @frantyozorawattilete4742
    @frantyozorawattilete4742 5 лет назад +2

    thank you! greetings from Jakarta, Indonesia!

  • @patricemarie2960
    @patricemarie2960 6 лет назад +4

    SAGE ADVICE ..... RIGHT HERE! THANK YOU
    MR. GARY CHAPMAN! ...... GOD BLESS YOU!

  • @rohmasuku9185
    @rohmasuku9185 5 лет назад +2

    Wow this is really eye opening.Thank you Gary

  • @wshelby83
    @wshelby83 6 лет назад +13

    This was very interesting to listen to. Great interview.

  • @surendrapandey4158
    @surendrapandey4158 4 года назад +2

    Wow.. perfectly fit for eastern culture as well

  • @dennis1802
    @dennis1802 8 лет назад +15

    thanks for the lessons, im happy i vieuwed it :)

  • @no_prisoners6474
    @no_prisoners6474 4 года назад +3

    If you break God’s laws they will break you 🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @MarcusAlvarado
    @MarcusAlvarado 2 года назад

    Confused on how living together is not a wise and necessary before marriage. You discussed really knowing someone after two years and I think we can all agree you don’t really know anyone before living with them. It doesn’t simulate marriage, it’s allowing for the facade of casual dating and being on our “best behaviors” to fade away, so we can understand the true nature of our partner.

    • @andershilmo1866
      @andershilmo1866 Год назад

      The stats show that those who co habit before marriage have higher divorce rates. Because they are trying each other out which bleeds into the marriage. Then they feel like leaving they take off. Vows are a commitment, I guess not all people are into commitment.

  • @schmingusss
    @schmingusss 4 года назад +3

    She is a very attractive older woman

    • @fjb4932
      @fjb4932 4 года назад

      Goorie Henkel
      You must be younger than she ...

    • @schmingusss
      @schmingusss 4 года назад

      @@fjb4932 Yes, hence the "older" adjective. You are a sharp one Frank.

  • @karim-a7469
    @karim-a7469 5 лет назад +1

    Excellent content. Excellent interviewing skills as well.

  • @7_red24
    @7_red24 5 лет назад +5

    Thank you, Christian elders.

  • @keishav6630
    @keishav6630 5 лет назад +15

    😂 My love language is acts of service.