Yes, quite recently. It was a threat to cut my throat. It was made in company, I guess there was 4 or 5 others present. I'm certain that others must have heard the threat made but nobody remarked on it. The narc (malignant I suspect) carried on with talk of how easy it would be for him to carry out his actions as he casually walked by me. He explained that I wouldn't see his attack coming and that I would not have the opportunity to defend myself.
@@secretivescorpio891 hi, thank you for sharing. Sorry that you are experiencing the abuse you are. Threats like these are to intimidate and frighten you. Each person’s situation is different. But you may need to consider leaving him. Even if planning takes years.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing thanks for your reply Allow me to clarify The guy that made this threat is another tenant where I live and not a romantic partner. I'm also male. There have consistently been red flags over the last few months and I have as a result withdrawn and chosen to no longer socialise with him. A polite hello is all I will give but other times I will give some of his own medicine and just blank him like he's non existent
I presented a hypothetical as a counter-tactic to another hypothetical, which are akin to veiled threats. Narc father said that my narc sister "may be able" to buy his house and "she would get a good deal." I said, yeah, and if she gets a boyfriend, he could move in, too. I suspected it was a provocation on his part. He is overly attached to one feature in the house and wants to make sure it stays in the family after he dies. She wants to grab as much as she can. So both of them are stirring it up, assuming I care. I can see through it now and never act bothered, because it's just material stuff and I don't need it. The next time he says this, I will let him know, oh, and then she can turn around and sell it for a profit. The way I would deal with veiled threats, for most covert types, is to see it as all talk and no action. I mean, they do take action, but it's more common that it never gets that far. Sam Vaknin once said in a video that you can issue a veiled threat to keep a narcissist in line. I told my father that someday I plan to write a book.
Hi, thank you for sharing. Your comment on writing a book made me laugh as I saw a joke in cartoon form a while back. The daughter was signing books and her parents stood nearby and commented. If we knew you were going to write a book about us we would have treated you better. Giving a veiled threat to a narcissist only works if they think you will follow through. However, I have found that threatening them just makes them angry and try to get revenge on you or them trying to ruin you before you can enact your threat. Nowadays I just ignore them.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing I needed that reminder about the anger and revenge. Also playing their game makes me feel slimed afterwards. It is best to ignore them.
yup my mother used thinly veiled threats it was terrorizing everyone thought she was cool as she was to them i got cruel i acted out and was deemed the problem 35 years bulimic, drug and alcohol use, unhealthy relationships all that jazz she never put her hands on my sister and me tho, just messed with my head and it messed me up just coming to understand this narc stuff the last several years entering my 60.s
Also, none of these things need to be said. My malignant, narcissistic mother would call every 3-4 months and, despite the fact that I never gave her my work number, she got it and had the guard even looking for me once. For a previous job, she started a campaign of calling, the moment I asked her not to call during the workday, because I had several conference calls, and she wouldn’t know the times. After I started screaming at her, because I didn’t know anything about narcissism at that time, I could tell she was pretty proud of herself and glad for the upset as, she appeared to be trying to tamper with my livelihood. When she lost the number for the job I currently have, 2 years ago, she setup one of her phone lines so, I could only get through, if I exposed my phone number. This was so she could not simply have my cell, but get my work number, so she could cause, at minimum, stress and, at most, chaos at my job. She died a few days ago but, of course, everyone wants to convince me she wasn’t responsible for what she was doing. That she may have been quite conscious of it, but that it was an illness she had no control over that caused it. While I feel that is “possible” she certainly waged a long enough campaign against me, over the years, where no one can tell me it was dementia. For me, my mother didn’t have to actually say anything, for me to have “phone phobia”. I dreaded hearing the phone ring and wouldn’t pick it up at work. I didn’t know if it would be her or even the police as, she’d use them for “faux wellness checks” without them even understanding they were being used, although I began telling them that I’m no contact and I do not wish to be bothered anymore. So, yeah, they just have to make a presence.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Sorry you experienced the abuse you did. Yes, sometimes they don’t need to say anything. If you can, seeing a therapist who is experienced in narcissistic abuse can help you with the effects of the abuse you suffered.
@@CherFREEMarauder yep, I believed that was her goal. Especially after I had been planning suicide, when it took me 8 years to climb out of the recession and find something well-paying, likable and full time. Although she’d tried to derail previous contractor jobs, the week I went permanent on the one I still have, although there were some other issues going on at exactly the same time, was when she seemed to pull out all the stops. I hadn’t even given her the phone number for this job. When she called, the conversation she seemed to want to hold would’ve seemed very benign to others (especially enabler types). But, I was on full alert that what she was conveying was that she could get my work number, call me whenever she wanted, have guards looking for me and interrupt whatever I was in the midst of, including meetings. I’m glad she wasn’t successful because there’s have likely been reactive abuse and I’d have ended up kicking the crap out of her - but that would be exactly what she’d want, because I’d go from a nice job and good reputation to a mother batterer and behind bars.
Sometimes the veiled threats feel reinforced, when someone repeats to the person, that threat/s that were made privately. People who shouldn't know, unless they were told, or are a part of it. It feels like having to be at your bravest, hypervigiliant every moment, or numb from fatigue or not caring. Feels like a prison.
My EX used to ring me then say nothing, say things like --- it will get nasty, and show me the cover of aCD , called mortal combat--- this mus have been a veiled threat.
My ex punched a hole in the kitchen wall and refused to allow it to be fixed. When my father was coming for a visit, my ex came home the night before he was too arrive with a beautiful framed picture of a rose. In that picture were the words "love is forever". He hung the picture over the hole in the wall. Scare the hell out of me!
This video was a lot more intense than I thought it would be. I've received those looks, like the thumbnail, from my brothers. The look says, 'I've got my eye on you, if you slip up even once I'll get you!' It instilled great fear and terror in me. I was severely stressed and that uncertainty made me constantly anxious.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Yes. Toxic people often rule with only a look that instills fear. Sorry you experienced this. Glad you found the video interesting.
Yes, I agree with the coverage in this video on narcissistic behaviour. My best advice is to get a way of none-contact is the only thing that will work. The two approach, to either react to the threats, or verbal engage can intensify and if your the person that needs to fixate then it can go on forever. The other approach to give in is neither effective so there is no rational approach but to form none-contact. The way narcissistic think, they lack the empathy, so they get some sadistic pleasure to manipulate others and often they'll try to imitate those responses for their own intentions. That is initially the case with narcissism, others have what they lack. There isn't any magical way to deal with this behaviour, only to take away their supply for narcissism. Normally, people do see through them, so expect their are others and that a person isn't alone. There being previous is very likely, so being aware that they have been exposed, or they believe that person can tell the truth is probably will be a safeguard. My own advise if anyone has to respond is be more unpredictable, like they'll get a response but it won't be welcome, or not in the time they're manifesting... it let's them know that someone is better taught and acting on a higher level rather coming down to that level.
Great Video. These threat tips are hardcore. Who ever is going through it need to gather proof and call police or buy a gun or a crossbow with poisoned arrow tips. Thank You.
The veiled threats can be disguised via bodily gestures. For example, they can raise a finger or hand as if to signal hitting or shooting you, just short of really executing it. Then when questioned, they will either keep quiet or claim they were doing it for something else.
They are constant. The narc in my life's favorite veiled threat is always conditional. If someone does this I will do that. The police told me that is not a threat and even said they would do the same thing.
40 years ago boundary crossing 1st cousin latched onto me. I exited that shituation in 2010. NPD, FASD, Addict... If he were to send someone to find/harm/kill me, I'd welcome them. Maybe even share in a smoke, drink or cigar. Ask what took so long. In meantime I will live my life to the fullest 🌒🌕🌘
Hello! Please allow a personal question; is your slight accent of Scottish/Irish origin? It's lovely. I'm a new subscriber and would like to know if you have a video on healing after detaching, for those not out yet. Also, strategies to create an exit plan would be helpful. I appreciate the comment portion of your channel. Have a wonderful rest of your day.
Hi. I am afrikaans, but did pick up a bit of an accent having lived in Cayman Island for 7 years and backpacking South East Asia for just under 2. Glad you like it. I am working on a book on how to leave a narcissist as there are many things that needs doing. Especially if you have children with a narcissist. Will make a number of videos on making an exit plan and leaving a narcissist. I don’t have any videos on healing from narcissistic abuse, especially not while still with the narcissist. The channel is new and the best healing is leaving a narcissist. For now I focus on helping people understand the best thing long term may be to leave the narcissist. Thank you for asking. Wishing you a wonderful day.
This was my life for a decade. Its insane the threats would never be direct it was a form of programing so it was disguised and just like he said could be made in public. If he wasnt constaly making demeaning statmtents to make me come off as inferior incapable in public coversatations. My kifs dad tried to set up a fake self defence senario and kill me. I had camera up and going and he strolled into the house with a gun just after a decently insect argument with him using this kind of attack but more passive agressive chats of him laughing at old abuse and passing it off as a fun gane and joke and him being good. Long story. But literallly beligerebtly yelling at me over me not allowing him in my home for a holliday he didnt even help prepare for anynore than he did with his other kids and he wasnt harassing them in there home. It was .xmas but we hadnt even been together and i had no obligation to have him present in thr first place. I have a stupudly agreeable personality and accidently agreed more than anything. Right once he walked into the door he found the camera and placed something infront of it once i told him to leave bc i saw the gun he lost it like it was normal to bring a gun after an argument of that magnitude. He claimed i carry guns all the time varries its not that constant to not realize taking it off is more proper. And he has guven me his guns to hold at past dates to justify him carrying his gun but it was obviously not okay. Its not like inhad my gun in the room he was in and if he felt that unsafe he shouldnt have brought himself into the enviroment as he claimed it was so "unsafe" only time i have been unsafe in any measurable degree was in his presents.
Hi. I'm sorry that you experianced such challenging and distressing situations and abuse. Your experience with your child's dad is deeply troubling, especially the incident with the gun. It's a level of escalation that's just not right.
Hi. Thank you for helping me use the correct spelling. I do sometimes slip up as English is not my native langue. However, as I understand it and the spellchecker I use state, Paralyse and paralyze are different spellings of the same word. Paralyze is preferred in the U.S. and Canada, while paralyse is preferred outside North America. As the bulk of my audience is from the USA and Canada I have set my spellchecker (Grammarly) to use US English. All the best.
We really appreciate your willingness to explain these critical components of narcissistic abuse that no one else wants to discuss. Isn't it unfortunate that marriage and procreation are fraught with conflict? Women, when seeking a marital partner, forget about your libido - the tall, dark, and handsome fairy tale. Guys, do whatever the equivalent might be when looking for a wife. Consider what's within the person for a "long time" as nonsexual pals at school or work, bearing in mind what you're learning from this incredible channel and other top-notch narcissistic abuse resources. If he or she becomes impatient and monkey branches to another, it is fine. This most likely indicates that the individual was not a good match for you in the first place. As you probably realized after watching this video, if you've entered an intimate partner narcissistic relationship, getting out is extremely difficult, especially when children are involved. Keep track of everything and make your way out safely.
Hi, thank you for commenting. Glad you find the videos helpful. Your comment contains a lot of golden nuggets of information. You are right, leaving a narcissist, especially if there are children involved can be difficult. And yes, documentation is extremely important, not just to prove abuse for possible criminal charges, but also to defend your name against false allegations and to help you with custody of your children.
Have you experienced thinly veiled threats? How did it make you feel? How did you deal with it?
take notes afterwards
inform people that are not related
Yes, quite recently.
It was a threat to cut my throat. It was made in company, I guess there was 4 or 5 others present. I'm certain that others must have heard the threat made but nobody remarked on it. The narc (malignant I suspect) carried on with talk of how easy it would be for him to carry out his actions as he casually walked by me. He explained that I wouldn't see his attack coming and that I would not have the opportunity to defend myself.
@@secretivescorpio891 hi, thank you for sharing. Sorry that you are experiencing the abuse you are. Threats like these are to intimidate and frighten you. Each person’s situation is different. But you may need to consider leaving him. Even if planning takes years.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing thanks for your reply
Allow me to clarify
The guy that made this threat is another tenant where I live and not a romantic partner. I'm also male.
There have consistently been red flags over the last few months and I have as a result withdrawn and chosen to no longer socialise with him. A polite hello is all I will give but other times I will give some of his own medicine and just blank him like he's non existent
I heard another term for this, it's called "dog whistle" that only you can hear and meant to get under your skin, but other people can't hear it.
Like dog whistling . Another term .
I presented a hypothetical as a counter-tactic to another hypothetical, which are akin to veiled threats. Narc father said that my narc sister "may be able" to buy his house and "she would get a good deal." I said, yeah, and if she gets a boyfriend, he could move in, too.
I suspected it was a provocation on his part. He is overly attached to one feature in the house and wants to make sure it stays in the family after he dies. She wants to grab as much as she can. So both of them are stirring it up, assuming I care.
I can see through it now and never act bothered, because it's just material stuff and I don't need it. The next time he says this, I will let him know, oh, and then she can turn around and sell it for a profit.
The way I would deal with veiled threats, for most covert types, is to see it as all talk and no action. I mean, they do take action, but it's more common that it never gets that far.
Sam Vaknin once said in a video that you can issue a veiled threat to keep a narcissist in line. I told my father that someday I plan to write a book.
Hi, thank you for sharing. Your comment on writing a book made me laugh as I saw a joke in cartoon form a while back. The daughter was signing books and her parents stood nearby and commented. If we knew you were going to write a book about us we would have treated you better. Giving a veiled threat to a narcissist only works if they think you will follow through. However, I have found that threatening them just makes them angry and try to get revenge on you or them trying to ruin you before you can enact your threat. Nowadays I just ignore them.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing I needed that reminder about the anger and revenge. Also playing their game makes me feel slimed afterwards. It is best to ignore them.
yup my mother used thinly veiled threats it was terrorizing everyone thought she was cool as she was to them i got cruel i acted out and was deemed the problem 35 years bulimic, drug and alcohol use, unhealthy relationships all that jazz she never put her hands on my sister and me tho, just messed with my head and it messed me up just coming to understand this narc stuff the last several years entering my 60.s
Kathleen..may you find love,joy and healing.
Also, none of these things need to be said.
My malignant, narcissistic mother would call every 3-4 months and, despite the fact that I never gave her my work number, she got it and had the guard even looking for me once. For a previous job, she started a campaign of calling, the moment I asked her not to call during the workday, because I had several conference calls, and she wouldn’t know the times. After I started screaming at her, because I didn’t know anything about narcissism at that time, I could tell she was pretty proud of herself and glad for the upset as, she appeared to be trying to tamper with my livelihood. When she lost the number for the job I currently have, 2 years ago, she setup one of her phone lines so, I could only get through, if I exposed my phone number. This was so she could not simply have my cell, but get my work number, so she could cause, at minimum, stress and, at most, chaos at my job.
She died a few days ago but, of course, everyone wants to convince me she wasn’t responsible for what she was doing. That she may have been quite conscious of it, but that it was an illness she had no control over that caused it. While I feel that is “possible” she certainly waged a long enough campaign against me, over the years, where no one can tell me it was dementia.
For me, my mother didn’t have to actually say anything, for me to have “phone phobia”. I dreaded hearing the phone ring and wouldn’t pick it up at work. I didn’t know if it would be her or even the police as, she’d use them for “faux wellness checks” without them even understanding they were being used, although I began telling them that I’m no contact and I do not wish to be bothered anymore.
So, yeah, they just have to make a presence.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Sorry you experienced the abuse you did. Yes, sometimes they don’t need to say anything. If you can, seeing a therapist who is experienced in narcissistic abuse can help you with the effects of the abuse you suffered.
My mother has gotten me fired for constant callin a job. She never calls me now...Def narcissism
@@CherFREEMarauder yep, I believed that was her goal. Especially after I had been planning suicide, when it took me 8 years to climb out of the recession and find something well-paying, likable and full time. Although she’d tried to derail previous contractor jobs, the week I went permanent on the one I still have, although there were some other issues going on at exactly the same time, was when she seemed to pull out all the stops. I hadn’t even given her the phone number for this job. When she called, the conversation she seemed to want to hold would’ve seemed very benign to others (especially enabler types). But, I was on full alert that what she was conveying was that she could get my work number, call me whenever she wanted, have guards looking for me and interrupt whatever I was in the midst of, including meetings. I’m glad she wasn’t successful because there’s have likely been reactive abuse and I’d have ended up kicking the crap out of her - but that would be exactly what she’d want, because I’d go from a nice job and good reputation to a mother batterer and behind bars.
you give words to this phenomena
Sometimes the veiled threats feel reinforced, when someone repeats to the person, that threat/s that were made privately. People who shouldn't know, unless they were told, or are a part of it. It feels like having to be at your bravest, hypervigiliant every moment, or numb from fatigue or not caring. Feels like a prison.
My EX used to ring me then say nothing, say things like --- it will get nasty, and show me the cover of aCD , called mortal combat--- this mus have been a veiled threat.
I have meet a narcissist that love bomb me thru messenges but gaslight me every time we see each other. I now avoid him totally.
My ex punched a hole in the kitchen wall and refused to allow it to be fixed. When my father was coming for a visit, my ex came home the night before he was too arrive with a beautiful framed picture of a rose. In that picture were the words "love is forever". He hung the picture over the hole in the wall. Scare the hell out of me!
This video was a lot more intense than I thought it would be.
I've received those looks, like the thumbnail, from my brothers. The look says, 'I've got my eye on you, if you slip up even once I'll get you!' It instilled great fear and terror in me. I was severely stressed and that uncertainty made me constantly anxious.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Yes. Toxic people often rule with only a look that instills fear. Sorry you experienced this. Glad you found the video interesting.
Yes, I agree with the coverage in this video on narcissistic behaviour. My best advice is to get a way of none-contact is the only thing that will work. The two approach, to either react to the threats, or verbal engage can intensify and if your the person that needs to fixate then it can go on forever. The other approach to give in is neither effective so there is no rational approach but to form none-contact. The way narcissistic think, they lack the empathy, so they get some sadistic pleasure to manipulate others and often they'll try to imitate those responses for their own intentions. That is initially the case with narcissism, others have what they lack. There isn't any magical way to deal with this behaviour, only to take away their supply for narcissism. Normally, people do see through them, so expect their are others and that a person isn't alone. There being previous is very likely, so being aware that they have been exposed, or they believe that person can tell the truth is probably will be a safeguard. My own advise if anyone has to respond is be more unpredictable, like they'll get a response but it won't be welcome, or not in the time they're manifesting... it let's them know that someone is better taught and acting on a higher level rather coming down to that level.
Good information
Thank you.
Great Video. These threat tips are hardcore. Who ever is going through it need to gather proof and call police or buy a gun or a crossbow with poisoned arrow tips. Thank You.
The veiled threats can be disguised via bodily gestures. For example, they can raise a finger or hand as if to signal hitting or shooting you, just short of really executing it. Then when questioned, they will either keep quiet or claim they were doing it for something else.
@@kevinjanghj that’s so true. Thank you for sharing.
Some threats aren't threats,. They are promises and they will follow through.
They are constant. The narc in my life's favorite veiled threat is always conditional. If someone does this I will do that. The police told me that is not a threat and even said they would do the same thing.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Sorry you are experiencing the abuse you are. That is a difficult situation you are in.
The super narc is sneaky
Awesomeness ♨️♨️
I'd argue that these threats are not thinly veiled at all.
40 years ago boundary crossing 1st cousin latched onto me. I exited that shituation in 2010. NPD, FASD, Addict... If he were to send someone to find/harm/kill me, I'd welcome them. Maybe even share in a smoke, drink or cigar. Ask what took so long. In meantime I will live my life to the fullest 🌒🌕🌘
Hello! Please allow a personal question; is your slight accent of Scottish/Irish origin? It's lovely. I'm a new subscriber and would like to know if you have a video on healing after detaching, for those not out yet. Also, strategies to create an exit plan would be helpful. I appreciate the comment portion of your channel. Have a wonderful rest of your day.
Hi. I am afrikaans, but did pick up a bit of an accent having lived in Cayman Island for 7 years and backpacking South East Asia for just under 2. Glad you like it.
I am working on a book on how to leave a narcissist as there are many things that needs doing. Especially if you have children with a narcissist. Will make a number of videos on making an exit plan and leaving a narcissist. I don’t have any videos on healing from narcissistic abuse, especially not while still with the narcissist. The channel is new and the best healing is leaving a narcissist. For now I focus on helping people understand the best thing long term may be to leave the narcissist.
Thank you for asking. Wishing you a wonderful day.
This was my life for a decade. Its insane the threats would never be direct it was a form of programing so it was disguised and just like he said could be made in public. If he wasnt constaly making demeaning statmtents to make me come off as inferior incapable in public coversatations. My kifs dad tried to set up a fake self defence senario and kill me. I had camera up and going and he strolled into the house with a gun just after a decently insect argument with him using this kind of attack but more passive agressive chats of him laughing at old abuse and passing it off as a fun gane and joke and him being good. Long story. But literallly beligerebtly yelling at me over me not allowing him in my home for a holliday he didnt even help prepare for anynore than he did with his other kids and he wasnt harassing them in there home. It was .xmas but we hadnt even been together and i had no obligation to have him present in thr first place. I have a stupudly agreeable personality and accidently agreed more than anything. Right once he walked into the door he found the camera and placed something infront of it once i told him to leave bc i saw the gun he lost it like it was normal to bring a gun after an argument of that magnitude. He claimed i carry guns all the time varries its not that constant to not realize taking it off is more proper. And he has guven me his guns to hold at past dates to justify him carrying his gun but it was obviously not okay. Its not like inhad my gun in the room he was in and if he felt that unsafe he shouldnt have brought himself into the enviroment as he claimed it was so "unsafe" only time i have been unsafe in any measurable degree was in his presents.
Hi. I'm sorry that you experianced such challenging and distressing situations and abuse. Your experience with your child's dad is deeply troubling, especially the incident with the gun. It's a level of escalation that's just not right.
It's not spelled parallelized. The word is from paralysis, paralyzed. It's being unable to move because of........
Hi. Thank you for helping me use the correct spelling. I do sometimes slip up as English is not my native langue. However, as I understand it and the spellchecker I use state, Paralyse and paralyze are different spellings of the same word. Paralyze is preferred in the U.S. and Canada, while paralyse is preferred outside North America. As the bulk of my audience is from the USA and Canada I have set my spellchecker (Grammarly) to use US English. All the best.
We really appreciate your willingness to explain these critical components of narcissistic abuse that no one else wants to discuss. Isn't it unfortunate that marriage and procreation are fraught with conflict? Women, when seeking a marital partner, forget about your libido - the tall, dark, and handsome fairy tale. Guys, do whatever the equivalent might be when looking for a wife.
Consider what's within the person for a "long time" as nonsexual pals at school or work, bearing in mind what you're learning from this incredible channel and other top-notch narcissistic abuse resources. If he or she becomes impatient and monkey branches to another, it is fine.
This most likely indicates that the individual was not a good match for you in the first place. As you probably realized after watching this video, if you've entered an intimate partner narcissistic relationship, getting out is extremely difficult, especially when children are involved. Keep track of everything and make your way out safely.
Hi, thank you for commenting. Glad you find the videos helpful. Your comment contains a lot of golden nuggets of information. You are right, leaving a narcissist, especially if there are children involved can be difficult. And yes, documentation is extremely important, not just to prove abuse for possible criminal charges, but also to defend your name against false allegations and to help you with custody of your children.