what the REAL British citizenship test should be like (humour)
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- Опубликовано: 22 май 2024
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Disclaimer: this is humo(u)r and I literally do all of these things as a British resident now (except the emotions thing, I still feel those unfortunately) so please view it as such.
This is correct, almost funny, but it should be relabeled as the British Middle Class citizenship test.
Writing 'humo(u)r' is almost as funny as the skit itself (to which I smiled a lot, but obviously never allowed myself to show any more emotion that that 😉)
You've definitely assimilated.
@@tonys1636 We are the Brits, you will be assimilated? (Which of course rips off Doctor Who from 1966)
Its not even humour, its most fact, its almost british comedy :o
As a brit I can truly say been there, done that, got the tee shirt to all of the answers. You really have become one of us. Great vid!
thank you for watching!!
Almost spot on. Your "examiner" character slipped up though, no Brit refers to someone as "Ma'am" (rhyming with 'jam') unless that person is the Queen.
Oooh, good to know - give me another 10 years and I'll get that one right too!
Not sure I’d call anyone ma’am. It’s madam isn’t it?
True. Any use of name or title is too awkward. Best to avoid the issue by using neither.
@@Spiklething yes, in the UK a customer in an shop would be called "madam", if any address is used at all.
Ma'am (rhyming with 'jam') is used to address female members of the royal family, but only after using their formal address ("Your Majesty", "Your Royal Highness" etc.). I think that in the past it would also have been used by household servants when addressing the lady of the house (particularly if she had no title), but the days when middle-class households could afford to employ a maid, a cook, and a nanny are long gone.
Ma'am (long 'a', rhyming with 'calm') is used when addressing female officers in the military.
Excellent! 'Slap your knees and say "right" and get up and ask them if they want more tea...' This really made me laugh! Thanks.
haha hilarious, where I used to live the next door neighbour was always 'curtain twitching' waiting for the second I moved my car so he could move his car about 10 feet to be exactly outside of his house🤣
Genuinely genuinely this would be a better citizenship test than we have. Its 100% accurate.
This seems to be a valid test designed to crush the spirit of anyone who takes it and if they pass they can stay in the UK
This was really good, well done! But I now feel seriously embarrassed and think I have failed my test because I never turn down the second cup of tea!
Thank you! Haha...maybe it's actually a situation where it's the MORE British thing to never turn down tea. Will have to investigate. ;)
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial Oh I don't know, I'm thinking I have the reputation of being the person they can't get rid of!
The train one is a trick. The real answer is that you would definitely avoid the chair with the suspicious wet patch. In this scenario, it turns out to be only water but do you really trust fellow members of the public?
You've got this summed up pretty well. Thoroughly enjoyed . There are lots of regional variations , but overall a A !
Thanks for watching!
Very, very clever. A real nice one, loved it.
Absolutely spot on. I particularly like the fact that all of the examples were about England and didn’t mention any of the other nations that make up the uk :-)
Absolutely brilliant. Made me laugh out loud. Thank you so much for cheering me up on a rainy evening!
Glad you enjoyed it!!
Yes. Nailed it. You have acclimatised so well.
I was very surprised you didn’t drink the tea though.
I don't think I could possibly not drink a cup of tea that was standing in front of me 😂
Fantastic stuff. Thoroughly enjoyed this sketch.😂
I lost it at:
"What planet are you from"
"Ohio"
🤣
That was brilliant, I almost felt an emotion, I almost chuckled, out loud! Thank god I was on my own, the embarrassment!
I have to admit even I would actually move if dripped on, but would apologise to the conductor when he came round.
I made a few Tutt Tutt noises and breathed out heavily and Shook my head while watching the video. Thought how really forward of you it was to put the word 'funny' in brackets in the description. I think we are best placed to decide what is or isn't funny. I enjoyed the portrayal of The American answering the questions badly. Was deeply concerned that the British side asking the questions on no occasion paused and went through imaginary papers while searching for imaginary reasons why they are paid to do absolutely nothing. But then in the end decided we are all going to die in the end so life is at best meaningless and hopeless. Enjoyed the whole video immensely and that in itself is slightly depressing. Wrote a letter of complaint about something or other to someone about this video. Then felt better without posting it. We don't all live in London. I just put that because that seems to be what Brits usually write in such circumstances often for no reason. Life is hard. Thanks again.
The word funny in the title also irked me!
Haha. Now this comment is funny.
Brilliant, Kalyn! As an 🇺🇸, experienced most of these on various times in the UK (not the parking spot issue, ‘tho). As soon as I post this, I’ll be sharing the video with my English friends!
Brilliant! You're definitely one of us now Kaylin.
Could this be your best ever video? You have my vote.
thank you!!
You are DEFINITELY British with that sense of humour. The acclimatisation process has done its work. Welcome aboard HMS United Kingdom. (Just keep that voice down, though).
This made me laugh out loud! Excellent vid Kalyn!
Just this week the rainy season finally broke here in northern Philippines.
For the past 6-8 months there has been no rain, it has been HOT HOT HOT and I was genuinely thinking about leaving to go to a cold, rainy place.
It has been 24 hours and I am so sick of the bloody rain!!
Will it ever end!!!
By the way I am English.
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT GGL!! I think this is your best video yet!! (Even better than the one about cardboard!!)....And I like the bit about parking...So I assume it is still an issue in your street and Mr GGLMstill goes on about it!!??😅😅😅😅😅😅
so glad you liked it! I feel like parking is always a problem in every street that doesn't have that many assigned spaces, but...yes, still a problem for us as well! Except now I complain about it too!
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial Good for you!
This is brilliant well done guys
you nailed it , superbly done
Do more of these, they are really funny.
Not wrong , with the sunshine it's usual to remove as many clothes as possible , get fed as a lobster in a couple of hours - then say too hot for me . A nice fun video .
Haha, yes, forgot the lobster bit! Thanks for watching!
Best video you have done. You nailed it. Welcome to Britain.
Evening Kaylyn good job and love watching your videos. 💛
Hi Kaylin, you have a natural talent for comedy, both writing and performance. I really had a good laugh, and I'm normally a grumpy old git. Well done.
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)
Wonderfull, yes you've got that right and loved it. Great show.
so glad you enjoyed!
Very well written!
".... but also, keep your voice down" ...
randomly thrown into a part which wasn't even the Loud American section ... lol
just a true to life bit, haha! I always get told that! :D
Very funny, and so true. Although i think that i would change seats on the train, well i probably would, after a couple of stops, if no one was looking.
"if no one was looking!" ;) Love that! Thanks so much for watching!
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial At the next stop, you pretend that was where you intended to get off, walk several carriages up or down then get back on in a different carriage where no one will have seen you previously. As long as the train doesn't leave in the meantime.
And woe betide if you had reserved the drippy seat when you prebooked. You have no option but to remain.
I'm questioning if I'm a real Brit, I would certainly spend hours complaining to my partner whilst staring at the offending car and also make disparaging remarks as they leave but when the neighbour mentions it I would be "No that's fine don't be silly they are welcome to park there whenever they visit, I can even keep an eye on it for them" then I would go back indoors to tell my partner about the audacity of our neighbours.
haha, love this!! That's probably the even more British approach.
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial Yep, along the lines of what I thought while watching your Oscar winning performances.
Great work! 😂
Loved that!
Absolutely brilliant well done.
thank you, I had fun with it 😂
Absolutely brilliant!! Very very funny.
Thank you so much! I had fun making it!
Hahahaha - That was brilliant Kaylin! So true!
glad you liked it! I had fun filming it!
You excelled yourself with this hilarious take on British culture. It was so good that you had me making a double take at your questioner character. The tight bun, misshapen cardigan, two pairs of spectacles, and monotone delivery had me thinking it was my former school house matron at first! 😂
Thank you so much! I was definitely channeling some people I've met for that character! :D
You are talented,comedian as well as a presenter.
Bloody decaffeinated tea!
At least you pass the sense of humour test 💓
Very amusing... 😁 BTW, you have to call someone miss and not ma'am even if they aren't a miss and are really offended. Welcome to Britain!
Brilliant!
Haha! Brilliant, OTT and very funny.
glad you enjoyed :)
Totally accurate and very funny 😊
The answer to question one is: You wait until nobody's looking and then bend one windscreen wiper at 90 degrees. They'll get the message.
that would definitely do the trick!
I hope we haven’t descended from passive aggression to vandalism as a national caricature
Loved this! Best line : "Ohio" Just seemed so right!
that was brilliant
my 'tell me your American without saying your American/ hoodie' comment I made on a previous video now seems vindicated lol
Brilliant!🤣
EX-CELL-ENT! Good one Kalyn!
thank you so much!
So hilarious, so true!
Now I need to go get a cuppa, no idea why
100% Accurate! Funny!
I just took the 'Life in the UK' test for ILR....prefer your test ,lol......LMAO!!!
😊😊😊😊😊 Great ❤ .
Maybe Londoners do the train thing differently than the rest of us. I would have said that the answer was that you should complain in the strongest terms to the conductor , the train manager and even the person pushing the refreshment trolley along. Then you say how rubbish the trains are these days. How you are treated like cattle and moan finally about British Rail sandwiches with curled up edges. British Rail sandwiches always come up when you're complaining about trains. Oh, and the toilets are filthy too. 😁😁
This test was a lot easier than the official one which I reckon only 20% of people born here would pass.
The content and the very fact that you have made this video in this style unequivocally means that you have been inculcated into the multi layered system which is British Culture. BTW in my local chip shop last week we were complaining about how hot it was - which made a change from the last 8 months of moaning about the cold and the wet.
I had someone come out of their house to say ''can you park somewhere else'' and even though I said that I will be literally 2 minutes to drop something off at a friend's house across the road, she said someone is coming to visit her and is due any minute. Noone came to visit her for the time I was there as I had to move my car from outside her house. What's wrong with people ?
@lemdixon01 An Englishman's parking spot is his castle.
I have done the opposite to you and moved to the US and I still do this your awesome and I’ve infected my American wife too 😝
The Art of Suffering. Lol!! 😉
it always finds a way to work its way into my videos 😂
I'd fail because i wouldn't drink the tea (someone else can have it i hate the stuff).
yeah, thats me. Brilliant, that was very funny.
glad you liked it - I had a bit of fun with it!
😂
❤ from Northeast England ❤️
Have you read Kate Fox yet? Watching The English?
yes, I do enjoy that book!
Hi Kaylin. Definitely a true Brit now!
We are NOTHING like that 🙂.... are we?
hello Brit xx
haha, brilliant
thank you!
who wound you up to make this video its hilarious lol but theres some truth to it all lol
haha, I should make the reverse version with a British person being cool and calm and collected and getting the answers wrong as to what the crazy Americans would do in various situations
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial Now that is a good idea.
*Q* Your friend is leaving your home after a 6 hour visit, do you ?
*a* say your goodbye inside your home & let them just leave.
*b* walk them all the way to their car whilst announcing to the entire neighbourhood how great it was to see them.
*c* same as option *b* but with also starting a new loud conversation between you & your friend after you have walked back to your doorstep so you are now having to shout to each other
*d* same as options *b* & *c* with the addition of waving like an absolute idiot to your friend as they drive away beeping their horn & waving back, in a fashion that suggests you may never see them again for as long as you live, but in reality you will be seeing them next week when you bump in to them whilst out shopping.
The answer is definitely not *a* !
Ooooh…. The “truth”! It hurts! 😧😖😢But we can always laugh in the face of adversity! 😂 “British” character traits neatly summed up….but you did omit from your list, what would be a response to the important question “you alright?” Your American pal needs to know the correct answer will always be “yes, you alright?” I wouldn’t want them to worry that they might have to give brief summations of their marital/financial/health/family relationship statuses!! 😳😖😂
Oooh, that would have been a great one to include!
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial British Citizenship test paper part II to be compiled …… you could also include saying “sorry” to inanimate objects like lamp posts, shopping trollies, people who bump into YOU, because YOU weren’t looking the right way, not them 😉etc….and asking the potential Citizenship getting friend about, when you are saying to someone you have been meeting with or have just bumped into and is now saying goodbye… “see you soon, we must catch up again…” what is the true meaning behind that heartwarming farewell comment and what actually occurs in the future…. 🤣🤣
My answer to that question is 'Terrible thanks.'
@@weedle30 Not dead yet
lol when theyve gone you tow it down the road but did you actually put a teabag in your mug 🤔
haha, yes it was actual tea!
😂
Lmao 😅👌
🤣🤣👌👌
It took living in Texas to realise that we Brits are not polite not at all.
This is a bad test. A real potential UK resident should be able to correctly speak Old English, be able to recite the original version of the Canterbury tales, and perform at least two Shakespeare plays in original pronunciation. A complete understanding of the hundred years war is a plus!!
Dammit this woman has been here too long - she has learned our secrets :-(
Hahaha eg Karen's of the USA
Congratulations. You are now truly British… but Kalyn? Have you considered Kate?
‘Madam’, not ‘Ma’am’. Your American is showing !
ho my now that was funny as f but the train one is wrong you sit there and you tut all 2 hours and say under your breath bloody water then when getting off of the train you complain like hell or you just move seat if no one is looking that is the british way
true, clearly need to live here a bit longer to get the train answer right! Thanks for watching!
@@GirlGoneLondonofficial your welcome and it was enjoyable to watch
2min in and laughing my ass off, great stereotyping
glad you liked it, I had fun!
Am sorry you can't be a British citizen, you're just not rude enough
Do you hate the French? - Yes. Do you hate the Jocks? - Yes. Do you hate the Paddys? - Oh yes. Do you hate the Taffs? - Yup. Great, you're in... tea? Thanks, Ooh ta very much.
Wouldn’t be a UK citizenship test though, would it? That’d be an English citizenship test.
@@lynnejamieson2063 That's true, I wasn't paying attention.
@@TukikoTroy haha, happens to the best of us 😊
@@lynnejamieson2063 would the government know the difference?
@@jackwalker4874 satirical answer, you’re probably right. Serious answer, I honestly think it would depend on who you asked but I don’t think the majority of the two main parties care enough to actually realise that it was a remark solely from an English perspective…though I myself am not English, I’m a Scot who has been south of the border for most of the last thirty years.
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
thank you! It was fun to film!