God this hit so hard. I left Japan due to COVID and losing my job and I miss it every day. I miss my friends, my co-workers, the chicadas in the summer, and ofc 7-11. I think a part of me will always be in Japan even if I'm not anymore. And oh god is living at home again a challenge after having my own place xD
Great video, it's similar to moving back to your parents' house after living away for a while, you realize that home is not home anymore, and the only thing that changed wasn't home, it was you.
Kudos for you telling your story, that can be the hardest part at times. I can definitely relate! You never know when the opportunity to return could arise but for sure stay in touch with your friends there and plan for a trip back
Way back in 2009 I got out of the navy after being stationed in japan for over a year. I also had to move to a new state for a new job, The transition was rough and it honestly took me years to normalize. Hopefully things get better!
What you seem to be describing is not just a transition back to your own country but a transition from education/college life to the one where you start working or meet someone who you want to be with and establish a home and family. You are perfectly in that transition time. After college, I met very few new friends. Social life took a huge decline. But I had goals and so you’re going to need to come up with some goals of your own. Either kick some ass in your own country or start scratching and finding that job in Japan to get your way back there. Be tenacious. I left Japan because I realized that they would never let me ascend beyond a certain level and yet I knew my abilities were better than that. So I came back to my own country and did well. Now Japan is a vacation place for me and possibly a retirement location because homes are relatively inexpensive compared to the US. Find what you love to do and go out and do it. If there is a job in Japan that suits you then I recommend going for it.
I feel you. Similar experience living abroad till I was 18, then moving back to US, people seemed foreign to me, still sometimes do. Now my parents moving to Japan since my mom is Japanese and wants to retire there. Soon to be on my own. Just gotta start planning for the next adventure. When there's a will theres a way. Nothings perfect but if theres a plan, working towards something is better than doing nothing at all. We have a new year ahead. Lets achieve some goals for 2025!
I left Japan after 8 years of living there and it was hard to adjust to my new surroundings. I felt like I left my love to be somewhere out there… 🤷♂️ It will get better, I left myself open to find a new direction and I found one. But I plan on moving back to Japan 🇯🇵 in maybe 2years 😊
Fantastic video! You got my sub . Ive been in Japan for 9 years and now really thinking about my future and sometimes I ask what if went back to the US. This is was great for me to think about.
This video is amazing! I just stumbled across you from the RUclips algorithm and it shocks me that this doesn't have more views! It's so wonderfully created, I hope you don't burn out from making these videos because they truly are lovely :))
11:48 - you say this as this is actually your highest viewed video up to date. Best believe, now that you have Gen X, Y, and Z making moves like yours (because everyone knows it’s never too late to fulfill a dream), reverse culture shock is a rapidly growing trend that is simply more silent than most issues simply because until recently, I didn’t understand the feeling myself. I still remember coming back from Japan early last year after a semester abroad. I have visited twice before, the 2nd time a 78 day stay. I felt EXACTLY like this on the way back. Within a 72 hour period I went from being able to just casually being able to leave home and go hang out in Minato Mirai or Yokohama station whenever I wanted to being told I can’t even take a quick train trip to Downtown because of the high probability of getting mugged on the train because of how prevalent the drug and homeless problem was on the trains here in LA. The second I said I wanted to go back home even though I was actually at home at that very moment, I knew that I had no reason to be in LA anymore. No goals, no purpose other than few family and friends that already had their lives and goals established, and had no time for whatever funk I was going through. It’s funny you said you were ready to close that chapter of Japan for good, meanwhile I’m here working to close my chapter in LA for good. Mentally I learned to cope and conform with my current reality BUT, in my heart and in my soul, I’m just working towards leaving. Being in an LDR makes even more brutal but thankfully my GF has been tolerant of this so far. It wasn’t easy though, and even almost 2 years later videos like still make me a bit tear eyed as well. But I do think you’ll be back in Japan. The question is, how motivated are you to just simply visit Japan and how motivated are you to actually give life in Japan a 2nd attempt.
You are not alone! I went through culture & reverse culture shock a few times as I moved between 3 countries in my life. Job problems? Zero friends? Feeling out of place? Wishing I'd be somewhere else, but can't because of [reason A, B, C...]? That sounds too familiar to me. The way I look at it is that life has its ups and downs regardless of where we are. This means that people who have stayed in their city/town of birth for their entire lives also have struggles. As long as we are moving toward achieving our goals, as long as we are on the path to doing something about our problems, then I'm sure everything else will eventually fall into place. I really liked your video. You have a great ability to step aside and look at your own life and even commentaries from a 3rd person perspective. I've never lived in Japan but am considering it in a few years. But first I want to gain as many qualifications as I can to make both trips (THERE and, a possible eventuality, BACK) as smooth as possible. All the best Audreya :) Greetings from Poland.
hey audreya. i was extremely moved by your (slay and excellently done) video. i’m happy to see you processing the emotions and expressing it in such a powerful way. it’s nice to see videos that touch upon real, vulnerable emotions… as long as you keep persisting, regardless of failure, and keep getting up to pursue what you truly want, i know you’ll achieve it…. and the harder it is, the more rewarding it’ll be when you achieve it. i believe in you.
Omg thank you so much Steffie 😭❤️ I’m currently just trying to re-navigate my life again and pursue something that I really want in live ❤️ thank you for the support ❤️❤️❤️
Japan probably made your life a dream but that's college/university life in any major city. Life after college slows down and you face reality of adulthood. Stay strong!
Good luck Audreya. It's a tough thing to not know where you belong, and it's worse when you aren't in the place where you feel you belong. Obviously I don't know everything going on in your heart but maybe seeking out opportunities elsewhere, other than Japan and Indonesia, might be helpful. As you've experienced the challenge of living somewhere other than your home country then doing so again somewhere else would not only stimulate the parts of you which may be missing that, but it will also expand your world canvas and with that you may end up reframing your relationship with both Japan and Indonesia? Rather than them being sources of antagonism for their own different reasons, you would be able to put them all into context with each other and the world would then open up and become a broader realm with parts you can visit and revisit.. in essence the more places you can add to your "lived" resume then the more the world becomes your home, hopefully helping to dilute any feelings of sadness and instead bringing a lot of different threads together into something you can enjoy and appreciate as a whole lived experience.
I just lived in japan for 6 months and I felt so weird coming back in France. It took me about 3 months to adjust myself, I was so depressed at first omg. I feel like I am forgeting Japan somehow.... I can't imagine living for 4 years and then coming back. You should continue looking for a job, you can do it !!! FIND ONE IN JAPAN. I am manifesting one for you.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It must've been difficult to leave the place you call home knowing you can't go back to the way things were in the past.
Girl, this is almost identical to my experience after living in Japan for only one year, but best year in my life, I also left in May 2023 and "my home" is many places now, not just Denmark where I grew up.
the end of the day maybe the reason I called Japan as my home because the people I surround myself with. As cheesy as it is but place that I can call home is really deepens on who I surround myself and my friends :") and it can be anywhere! I'm trying to put myself more here in Jakarta and maybe I can call call this place as home in the future.
thank you for posting something like this I am in america for university and I am over half way done so I really dont know what to do when it is all over
I’ve been doing it very slowly by taking a full year of regular trips home to try and reposition myself . I’ve been 20 years in Japan but I think the key thing is you can still stay networked and engaged and use the benefits of what you learned to create new things . I’m sure you’ll return in a few years and have a good but different experience . As we age we also change and the days of karaoke and social adventures actually was too fun for too long and I should have quit sooner . Nice Vid and an important tool for all expats and their families .
You are so sweet and this was very interesting to see. It was sad to see you sad. You have to see some positives though. You did achieve your dream of moving to and studying in Japan! And you had a great time there! But now you need new dreams. Come visit Europe! 😁. But honestly I think it is not just Japan.. you miss good friends and maybe boyfriend. We all go through this, try not to associate this with Japan, that was just where it happened, but people come and go and you will meet new ones 😊
Dang if shes feeling like this returning to amazing very safe country like indonesia imagine returning to america or uk from japan where its extremely toxic govt never does anytging to benefit the ppl the media is constantly trying to fearmonger or divide the ppl into hating each other. Very well done video i know you put alot of effort editing this video.
:( I can relate. I dont like where I live. Its wonferful place but not for me. Wish I could go back to Japan. I hope you get to return to your new home.
@@adrianhui6791 You can make it back to Canada if you're being persistent. You will find a way. I always love Europe and can never leave Europe. And yet here I am always making it back to Europe.
@@adrianhui6791 Because there's no way I could ever reskill or change careers without going back. If you have tons of money, married a local, sure - easy. But going back to a place where I have family is 10x more affordable and accessible.
I enjoyed watching your video. I appreciate how honest and thoughtful you presented things. At the end of the video, as the resolution, it looks like you are talking about accepting your circumstances as a way of coping. I see in western society we are supposed to apologize and find humility, and accept our circumstances as a way of resolving conflict, but in my opinion this is a false idea! It is ok to express and be honest with yourself about how you feel if you feel sad. If you want to work towards koving back to Japan, keep working on it like you probably will. When I had some difficulty in my life and I became depressed, I accepted my circumstamces, and lief to myself to say everything is fine, I wish I didnt because I feel like I gave up my awareness of my own feelings. It might be rocky, but dont give up on your dreams if u can make it work! I think trying to stay a bit positive and work on things in the meantime, like making new friends like you are doing is a good thing too.
thank you so much ❣At first I ignored my feeling and force myself to settle in as soon as possible but that just backfired. Right now I'm taking i step by step and acknowledging the fact that I'm struggling to fit in, made me easier :")
I left Italy in 1985 after 7+ years. It was very difficult at first but with time, effort and love I learned first to adapt and then thrive. It never goes away, the sense of longing, the missing, but as the years have flown by I have discovered a source of strength, rooted in those years abroad, which has served me well. I am doing well and you can do well also, if you give yourself the opportunity to do so. ❤
I left Busan, South Korea after three years in March of ‘22. With the exception of getting my dog, on the verge of now being back home for three years, I believe I also made a mistake. I miss living in a proper city, not being surrounded by obese people. Although I bought a home in the US, it feels more like a prison than a symbol of freedom.
Glad I found this video. I feel exactly the same way. Exactly three years ago I returned back to London after living in South Korea for two years. Until today I’m still adjusting to being back here. It’s hard. Sometimes I wonder about going back to Korea or somewhere new
You are so real for this ❤ We’ve got to help you research all the possible visas to get you back to Japan. I just found a ministry/religious/spiritual visa, you could go on a “spiritual journey” 😂. Japan has all kinds of visas, don’t give up hope!! ❤
Hi, remember me? I just want to let know that you're not alone in this struggle. Just like you, I took a 3-year hiatus on RUclips, and it's only last month that I made a RUclips comeback. My life has been a complete shit show after I graduated in August 2023. I suffered 4 months of unemployment, my paternal grandma died, had constant disagreements and arguments with my parents about my future plans, depression and anxiety worsen, and even had suicidal thoughts. I'm still here in Japan, but for me, Japan doesn't feel like home. It was only in uni where I felt so happy because I was surrounded by friends that truly supported me and loved me. It was there where I realized that I feel most comfortable when I'm surrounded by an international community. But after I graduated, I just didn't want to stay with parents anymore, and I didn't want to stay in Japan anymore, but they keep on finding ways to imprison me in this country. The most painful part I had to go through is seeing my friends move out of Japan because I already knew from that moment, we have already drifted apart and might not see each other even again. Idk why the happy chapters of my life go by so quickly, while the agonizing chapters of life feels like its forever. So many people tried to help me, but some have now begun to walk away from me because I was and still am struggling to get out of the shitty life I'm in. Launching my new RUclips channel and having a stable part-time job feel like progress, but it truly isn't, and I'm stuck in a situation where I need to find a full-time job and want to go to grad school, but it seems like an impossible dream, and now my parents have successfully controlled my future, and I'm starting to lose the battle. I hope you're doing well now, and congratulations on your RUclips comeback! Wish you all the best!
Wah ini mirip bgt wkt gw balik ke indo dr jp 10 thn yg lalu. 1. Tetap semangat cari kerja nya, sementara cari kerjaan yg japan related di indo (kerja di perusahaan jp yg ada di indo, penerjemah, guru bhs jp, etc). 2.Coba cari teman baru, bs jg lewat komunitas. Byk teman bagus utk koneksi jg di masa depan. 3.Cari hobby baru, bs hilangin stress jg & bs dpt teman baru jg dr situ. 4.Tetap berdoa, bersyukur, keep positive aja sih.
I moved to Japan in 2013 and moved back home in 2014, stayed there only one year (I was 30 at that time). I felt the same, faced the same when I came back, so that's normal. However it all depends on the way you see it and the goal you set to yourself. For now, it's still fresh, you get it in the face, that is hard, but you have 2 possibilities: either you stay in this state, or you organise yourself to follow your dream. Japan is not closed to you, you know? Yep, it may take years, but if that's really what you want to do, think about a way to move back there and move forward to it. That is basically what life is all about. Regarding the toxic corporate jobs, believe me, Japan so no way better. If you work in Japan, you will have your share of toxic corporate jobs ;) I don't know what kind of degree you got, but Have you thought about freelancing? In any case, don't give up. But keep practicing your Japanese because you will need it. And keep contact with your friends over there as well! Good luck!
I suggest that you find a recruitment agency that's sending people to Japan, albeit the job options may not be related to what you've finished -- mostly agriculture and manufacturing kind of jobs.
I tell myself to do what I love and what I am passionate about for me it`s to live in Japan and I don't let anything stay in my way I know what you feel I felt the same until I started doing what my heart tells me to do and home is where you feel happy and safe whether in Japan, Indonesia or even on Mars
To be completely honest I think you got hit by 2 big issues, the first moving back from japan, the second becoming an adult. I don't think japan made you completely happy just because it was "japan" but because you had a great student lifestyle there, maybe if you did get the job the corporate lifestyle in japan might have shifted your point of view
Only lived in Japan for half a year and I felt the same thing after returning back home to Jakarta. As soon as I landed back home, I thought to myself "I could've stayed for another semester and I chose to go back home. What have I done?". It was quite disastrous having to readjust to everything (work, school, family, friends, etc), so that's why I'm planning to move back to Japan next year. So safe to say that you're not alone in this. Hopefully you can find a way to go back to Japan. Or, if you can't, hopefully you can find peace knowing that you've experience a life that most people could only ever dream of, take some time to find closure, and actually start living your reality here. Best of luck.
Re-adjusting again to your old live is quite challenging, that I wish i give myself time to process it. Is all learning experience and for now I want to close the Japan chapter. Good luck on your move back to Japan!!!
To be honest, i'm not sure if you dodged a big bullet. I think it sucked that you didn't manage to find a job in japan, but the transition from college in japan to a job in japan is a completely different ballgame. Although i do believe that the conveniences that japan offer will dull the pains of the job a little, but the end result will still make some people jaded. Like they always say, touring, living, studying in japan is great, but working in japan is a nightmare. But if you really want to keep at it, definitely keep applying for jobs in japan that will relocate you there! A really great video! and a very good method for outlet of your emotions. I do hope you'll be able to live permanently in japan one day!
Thank you for your comments! Adulting and transitioning from a uni student to a full grown adult is a huge challenge on itself that I'm currently facing with :") But dealing with adulting and reverse culture shock can be overwhelming and I think that's what I'm struggling with.
I went many places working but always feel at home where I am growing up in Italy, maybe beause it' s a small place and you knonw a lot of people there, especially the one whom you share your youth together
Keep looking for a Japanese job and applying while overseas and try to return. Look up video “ How I Got Japanese Permanent Residence in Only 2 Years!” By tokuyuu and depending on your education, where you took your classes and other factors, you maybe able to close the gap and even apply early for PR. You can also go the student route and work remote while you “learn”. You can also have one of your friends sponsor you directly and keep looking for a job during that time. Do not give up.
You can always try to find a new country to live in or try to move back to Japan in the future too. No reason to stay in Indonesia or any country for that matter if your not happy there. Sometimes due to a variety of reasons one single country might not be possible but other similar countries may be though.
I lived 4 years in South Korea (Seoul and Jeju island) I returned to Florida for 11 months Now I find myself in Tokyo 😅 Couldn't adjust to life in America again 😂😂
I know you worked hard to get to Japan in the first place, and you worked hard to stay there. If you want to live in Japan then I wouldn't give up. You can work to get back there again, and use what you learned the first time around to succeed in finding work in Japan. The person you become while you are working hard to achieve a goal: isn't that the person you still are?
As an Indonesian who was raised in the UK, I know how you feel. I can never connect with any Indonesians at all, and I was being subjected to bullying because I couldn't speak Indonesian when I first came. At least you live in Jakarta where there are people who understands English. Unlike me, people saw me as an alien. When I visit Indonesia, I would definitely love to meet you and it would be nice if you could conduct an interview.
@audreya_mp I would definitely let you know. I'd drop you a private message. One thing for sure, DO NOT close your Japan chapter. No, it's not over yet. You just need to find a way. I nearly gave up my hope of coming back to Europe, even back to UK. And yet I made it back. Even when my visa expired again recently, I still made it back to Europe, although not UK. So no, your Japan chapter is not ready to be closed.
Sounds rough, but i do think you are forgetting the fact that most of us experience this. It is not longing for your country, but longing for your youth, the time we spend as an teenager, early adult are often considered the best years of our life. They aren't, but we like to look at them like that. I'm also raised in a different country than I live in, it always feels like home, but when I go back I'm a foreigner, friends.. Yeah they got kids and other obligations times change, you change, we all change. Time doesn't care, look fond of those memories in the past but not let them drag you down. Try to build a new future, nothing is easy I don't have to tell you that just try to accept the facts how they are. And yeah... Nostalgia is a bitch.
Definitely. I guess I tried to accept that things comes and go, and making this video is just my way to finally close the chapter and move on with my life. I believe we can make more memories with other people in our life! Thanks for the comments :")
@@audreya_mp I struggle with depression that my life will end someday, and this is one of the things that cause anxiety. Most of the days it doesn't bother me but some periods remind me by abrupt weaking me at night. Try to stay ahead of that, you cannot change the past and live for the moment. Don't become like me you seem far more capable then me, I think to much about the future and worry to much about the past.
It so good to see an Indonesian girl that doesn't have your hair wrapped like a muslim. I'm filipino, we are DNA cousins, our language Tagalog derived from Indonesia, I think. Maybe Malaysia?
getting a job shouldnt have been a problem if you were determined to get one. message people on linkedin, follow up if no messages, call companies, go to company events, go to company at working hours, recruitment companies, do content or projects to show expertise... like getting a job for a visa is pretty important...
I can understand how you feel but there are always 2 sides to a coin. I will mention the elephant in the room first. You talked about how much work sucks in Jarkata. I doubt work is gonna be any better in Japan. In fact, it might be worse. I'm sure you heard of how bad over time work is in Japan and people actually die due to "karoshi". Also, i noticed your friends are mostly non-Japanese, so i believe most of them will eventually go back to their home country. Your connection is strong with your friends, not Japan. Imagine most of them went back to their own country and then you go to Japan, you gonna feel empty there as well. I hope what i said can offer another perspective to your reality and it can bring comfort/relief to you in some way.
I agree, good observation. Most youtuber tell sob story about living or leaving a place, but we only get a glimpse of their life. Sometimes a glimpse is all we need.
I wonder if she thinks everything in Japan was happier because she was younger and had friends. But times change, again when she would go back to Japan, the times has changed again and all her previous friends now have family and new connections through the children or the couples network.. Then she will feel out of place again! So the most important is for her to find her inner balance and learn to enjoy her own company. Then face the society and possibly make new network of friends and acquaintances. But never because she thinks she has to have it all the way it was..?
First: stay strong. next: you are not the first one (or the last one); then: as you say at the end try to understand what you want; if Japan is what you want, then since I am assuming you are fluent in the language, did you try to find a job for a Japanese company in Jakarta? (was that your toxic experience?). I do know that the Japanese corporate environment is not the taste of everyone but maybe working for a Japanese company could open the option of going back for your company? Just thinking loud. In the meantime gambatte kudasai ne...!
Thank you ❣For now Japan always be a second home for me. For toxic experience, no is not when I was working in Japan. I'm currently freelancing but in the future if i was given an opportunity to move to Japan again I might take it :3 thanks for the support ❣
Sure. I meant whether the toxic experience in Jakarta was for a local company, not a Japanese one? In any case, what I was trying to say is that if Japan is what you want then there will be significant effort needed on your side to overcome obstacles linked to the fact that you are not Japanese yourself. Getting a job with a Japanese company while in Indonesia could open doors/options. from own experience, we tend to develop a overly romantic view of places based on positive experiences (talking from own experience in Japan 40y ago). Time will bring you weight better reality. But at your age you need a strong dream to live for. Kindest regards from Germany from Oji-san . 😊
I stopped half way through the video because I have to go to work. So if you covered this forgive me. What about teaching English ? You are fluent in it . Get language education certificate and teach English and search for a job you really want on the side !!
She has a degree. The issue with Japan is you may never get the job you “really want” if you aren’t Japanese. It can happen but mostly you will end up teaching English, in a restaurant or doing some low end TV work. It’s not really a country for foreigners who aspire in their career as they take nationalism (hiring and promoting Japanese people first) more seriously than in more multicultural countries such as the U.K. which actively encourages diversity in the workplace.
God this hit so hard. I left Japan due to COVID and losing my job and I miss it every day. I miss my friends, my co-workers, the chicadas in the summer, and ofc 7-11. I think a part of me will always be in Japan even if I'm not anymore. And oh god is living at home again a challenge after having my own place xD
Covid really screw us huh 😢
Great video, it's similar to moving back to your parents' house after living away for a while, you realize that home is not home anymore, and the only thing that changed wasn't home, it was you.
it just a different type of loneliness that I wish people talk about it more 😢
Kudos for you telling your story, that can be the hardest part at times. I can definitely relate! You never know when the opportunity to return could arise but for sure stay in touch with your friends there and plan for a trip back
For sure! I accepted this is just part of life and I hope for better things in the future
Way back in 2009 I got out of the navy after being stationed in japan for over a year. I also had to move to a new state for a new job, The transition was rough and it honestly took me years to normalize. Hopefully things get better!
Relatable. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Thank you for sharing ❤
What you seem to be describing is not just a transition back to your own country but a transition from education/college life to the one where you start working or meet someone who you want to be with and establish a home and family. You are perfectly in that transition time. After college, I met very few new friends. Social life took a huge decline. But I had goals and so you’re going to need to come up with some goals of your own. Either kick some ass in your own country or start scratching and finding that job in Japan to get your way back there. Be tenacious. I left Japan because I realized that they would never let me ascend beyond a certain level and yet I knew my abilities were better than that. So I came back to my own country and did well. Now Japan is a vacation place for me and possibly a retirement location because homes are relatively inexpensive compared to the US. Find what you love to do and go out and do it. If there is a job in Japan that suits you then I recommend going for it.
Thank you for creating this beautiful piece of art and sharing your story. Very relatable 🥲💜💜
I just love how high-quality your videos are. It's professional yet something that we can relate and learn to. I enjoyed watching this!
thank you so much ♥ your comments means a lot dude 🥲❣
I feel you. Similar experience living abroad till I was 18, then moving back to US, people seemed foreign to me, still sometimes do. Now my parents moving to Japan since my mom is Japanese and wants to retire there. Soon to be on my own. Just gotta start planning for the next adventure. When there's a will theres a way. Nothings perfect but if theres a plan, working towards something is better than doing nothing at all. We have a new year ahead. Lets achieve some goals for 2025!
Wow what a phenomenal video! Hope everything works out 🙏🏼
I left Japan after 8 years of living there and it was hard to adjust to my new surroundings. I felt like I left my love to be somewhere out there… 🤷♂️
It will get better, I left myself open to find a new direction and I found one. But I plan on moving back to Japan 🇯🇵 in maybe 2years 😊
I think it will get better, right now i'm just taking it step by step
Why did you leave japan?
@@davidpark2509 I was stationed out there in Hiroshima and my time was finished. I left to peruse another job that I was offered.
@@davidpark2509 I was stationed out there and my time came for me to rotate back to the USA 🇺🇸
Fantastic video! You got my sub . Ive been in Japan for 9 years and now really thinking about my future and sometimes I ask what if went back to the US. This is was great for me to think about.
I hope this video helps you figure out your future! ❤️
This video is amazing! I just stumbled across you from the RUclips algorithm and it shocks me that this doesn't have more views! It's so wonderfully created, I hope you don't burn out from making these videos because they truly are lovely :))
thank you ❣that's really lovely. I'm currently trying to find balance between making videos and adult responsibilities lmao. More videos to come tho!
11:48 - you say this as this is actually your highest viewed video up to date. Best believe, now that you have Gen X, Y, and Z making moves like yours (because everyone knows it’s never too late to fulfill a dream), reverse culture shock is a rapidly growing trend that is simply more silent than most issues simply because until recently, I didn’t understand the feeling myself. I still remember coming back from Japan early last year after a semester abroad. I have visited twice before, the 2nd time a 78 day stay.
I felt EXACTLY like this on the way back. Within a 72 hour period I went from being able to just casually being able to leave home and go hang out in Minato Mirai or Yokohama station whenever I wanted to being told I can’t even take a quick train trip to Downtown because of the high probability of getting mugged on the train because of how prevalent the drug and homeless problem was on the trains here in LA. The second I said I wanted to go back home even though I was actually at home at that very moment, I knew that I had no reason to be in LA anymore. No goals, no purpose other than few family and friends that already had their lives and goals established, and had no time for whatever funk I was going through.
It’s funny you said you were ready to close that chapter of Japan for good, meanwhile I’m here working to close my chapter in LA for good. Mentally I learned to cope and conform with my current reality BUT, in my heart and in my soul, I’m just working towards leaving. Being in an LDR makes even more brutal but thankfully my GF has been tolerant of this so far. It wasn’t easy though, and even almost 2 years later videos like still make me a bit tear eyed as well.
But I do think you’ll be back in Japan. The question is, how motivated are you to just simply visit Japan and how motivated are you to actually give life in Japan a 2nd attempt.
You are not alone! I went through culture & reverse culture shock a few times as I moved between 3 countries in my life. Job problems? Zero friends? Feeling out of place? Wishing I'd be somewhere else, but can't because of [reason A, B, C...]? That sounds too familiar to me. The way I look at it is that life has its ups and downs regardless of where we are. This means that people who have stayed in their city/town of birth for their entire lives also have struggles. As long as we are moving toward achieving our goals, as long as we are on the path to doing something about our problems, then I'm sure everything else will eventually fall into place.
I really liked your video. You have a great ability to step aside and look at your own life and even commentaries from a 3rd person perspective. I've never lived in Japan but am considering it in a few years. But first I want to gain as many qualifications as I can to make both trips (THERE and, a possible eventuality, BACK) as smooth as possible.
All the best Audreya :)
Greetings from Poland.
hey audreya. i was extremely moved by your (slay and excellently done) video.
i’m happy to see you processing the emotions and expressing it in such a powerful way. it’s nice to see videos that touch upon real, vulnerable emotions…
as long as you keep persisting, regardless of failure, and keep getting up to pursue what you truly want, i know you’ll achieve it…. and the harder it is, the more rewarding it’ll be when you achieve it. i believe in you.
Omg thank you so much Steffie 😭❤️ I’m currently just trying to re-navigate my life again and pursue something that I really want in live ❤️ thank you for the support ❤️❤️❤️
Japan probably made your life a dream but that's college/university life in any major city.
Life after college slows down and you face reality of adulthood. Stay strong!
Good luck Audreya. It's a tough thing to not know where you belong, and it's worse when you aren't in the place where you feel you belong. Obviously I don't know everything going on in your heart but maybe seeking out opportunities elsewhere, other than Japan and Indonesia, might be helpful. As you've experienced the challenge of living somewhere other than your home country then doing so again somewhere else would not only stimulate the parts of you which may be missing that, but it will also expand your world canvas and with that you may end up reframing your relationship with both Japan and Indonesia? Rather than them being sources of antagonism for their own different reasons, you would be able to put them all into context with each other and the world would then open up and become a broader realm with parts you can visit and revisit.. in essence the more places you can add to your "lived" resume then the more the world becomes your home, hopefully helping to dilute any feelings of sadness and instead bringing a lot of different threads together into something you can enjoy and appreciate as a whole lived experience.
Everything happens for a reason. 大丈夫。頑張って！
amazing video u deserve sm more views and likes
Nice video and hope everything works out. I have made many regrets in my younger years, but in the end I finally made it to a good place.
is all part of learning experiences i believe 🥲❤🩹
I just lived in japan for 6 months and I felt so weird coming back in France. It took me about 3 months to adjust myself, I was so depressed at first omg. I feel like I am forgeting Japan somehow.... I can't imagine living for 4 years and then coming back. You should continue looking for a job, you can do it !!! FIND ONE IN JAPAN. I am manifesting one for you.
i'm taking it step by step right now
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It must've been difficult to leave the place you call home knowing you can't go back to the way things were in the past.
Girl, this is almost identical to my experience after living in Japan for only one year, but best year in my life, I also left in May 2023 and "my home" is many places now, not just Denmark where I grew up.
the end of the day maybe the reason I called Japan as my home because the people I surround myself with. As cheesy as it is but place that I can call home is really deepens on who I surround myself and my friends :") and it can be anywhere! I'm trying to put myself more here in Jakarta and maybe I can call call this place as home in the future.
ROOTING FOR YOU AND YOUR UPCOMING ADVENTURES AUDREYA!!! - Arnolds secret lover 😏
thank you for posting something like this I am in america for university and I am over half way done so I really dont know what to do when it is all over
"Home is where the heart is."
- Kaneki Ken
Very moving video I can relate to... hope you will find happiness and a place to call home 💗
When I returned from Japan to Canada I felt reverse culture shock as well. It was a terrible feeling. 😢
I lived in Korea for 4yrs and the reverse culture shock was quite painful. Im expecting the same or worse when my contract ends in Japan.
I’ve been doing it very slowly by taking a full year of regular trips home to try and reposition myself . I’ve been 20 years in Japan but I think the key thing is you can still stay networked and engaged and use the benefits of what you learned to create new things . I’m sure you’ll return in a few years and have a good but different experience . As we age we also change and the days of karaoke and social adventures actually was too fun for too long and I should have quit sooner . Nice Vid and an important tool for all expats and their families .
It's nice to hear from someone who has been through something similar! Thank you for the advice.
Quality of your videos is dayummm good 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Glad you like them!
That Unravel instrumental cover is one of my favourite pieces of music on RUclips. You incorporated it perfectly 💖
is my favorite song I like to sing in the Karaoke!
You are so sweet and this was very interesting to see. It was sad to see you sad. You have to see some positives though. You did achieve your dream of moving to and studying in Japan! And you had a great time there! But now you need new dreams. Come visit Europe! 😁. But honestly I think it is not just Japan.. you miss good friends and maybe boyfriend. We all go through this, try not to associate this with Japan, that was just where it happened, but people come and go and you will meet new ones 😊
Dang if shes feeling like this returning to amazing very safe country like indonesia imagine returning to america or uk from japan where its extremely toxic govt never does anytging to benefit the ppl the media is constantly trying to fearmonger or divide the ppl into hating each other. Very well done video i know you put alot of effort editing this video.
🙋♂️
Haha real. Main thing i.miss is being able to.walk around the city safely at any hour.
:( I can relate. I dont like where I live. Its wonferful place but not for me. Wish I could go back to Japan. I hope you get to return to your new home.
I left after 9 years back to Canada. I'm still getting used to it. It's rough. Take care of yourself!
may I ask why? I left Canada 7 years ago and I can't see myself going back now more than ever.
@@adrianhui6791 You can make it back to Canada if you're being persistent. You will find a way. I always love Europe and can never leave Europe. And yet here I am always making it back to Europe.
@@adrianhui6791 Because there's no way I could ever reskill or change careers without going back. If you have tons of money, married a local, sure - easy. But going back to a place where I have family is 10x more affordable and accessible.
Wow same here. May I ask why you can't see yourself going back?@@adrianhui6791
I enjoyed watching your video. I appreciate how honest and thoughtful you presented things. At the end of the video, as the resolution, it looks like you are talking about accepting your circumstances as a way of coping. I see in western society we are supposed to apologize and find humility, and accept our circumstances as a way of resolving conflict, but in my opinion this is a false idea! It is ok to express and be honest with yourself about how you feel if you feel sad. If you want to work towards koving back to Japan, keep working on it like you probably will. When I had some difficulty in my life and I became depressed, I accepted my circumstamces, and lief to myself to say everything is fine, I wish I didnt because I feel like I gave up my awareness of my own feelings. It might be rocky, but dont give up on your dreams if u can make it work! I think trying to stay a bit positive and work on things in the meantime, like making new friends like you are doing is a good thing too.
thank you so much ❣At first I ignored my feeling and force myself to settle in as soon as possible but that just backfired. Right now I'm taking i step by step and acknowledging the fact that I'm struggling to fit in, made me easier :")
I left Italy in 1985 after 7+ years. It was very difficult at first but with time, effort and love I learned first to adapt and then thrive. It never goes away, the sense of longing, the missing, but as the years have flown by I have discovered a source of strength, rooted in those years abroad, which has served me well. I am doing well and you can do well also, if you give yourself the opportunity to do so. ❤
I left Busan, South Korea after three years in March of ‘22. With the exception of getting my dog, on the verge of now being back home for three years, I believe I also made a mistake. I miss living in a proper city, not being surrounded by obese people. Although I bought a home in the US, it feels more like a prison than a symbol of freedom.
Glad I found this video. I feel exactly the same way. Exactly three years ago I returned back to London after living in South Korea for two years. Until today I’m still adjusting to being back here. It’s hard. Sometimes I wonder about going back to Korea or somewhere new
Reverse culture shock is as hard as culture shock tbf :"(
You are so real for this ❤
We’ve got to help you research all the possible visas to get you back to Japan. I just found a ministry/religious/spiritual visa, you could go on a “spiritual journey” 😂. Japan has all kinds of visas, don’t give up hope!! ❤
lmaoo! Thank you for the support! I really appreciate it
Hi, remember me? I just want to let know that you're not alone in this struggle.
Just like you, I took a 3-year hiatus on RUclips, and it's only last month that I made a RUclips comeback.
My life has been a complete shit show after I graduated in August 2023. I suffered 4 months of unemployment, my paternal grandma died, had constant disagreements and arguments with my parents about my future plans, depression and anxiety worsen, and even had suicidal thoughts.
I'm still here in Japan, but for me, Japan doesn't feel like home. It was only in uni where I felt so happy because I was surrounded by friends that truly supported me and loved me. It was there where I realized that I feel most comfortable when I'm surrounded by an international community. But after I graduated, I just didn't want to stay with parents anymore, and I didn't want to stay in Japan anymore, but they keep on finding ways to imprison me in this country.
The most painful part I had to go through is seeing my friends move out of Japan because I already knew from that moment, we have already drifted apart and might not see each other even again.
Idk why the happy chapters of my life go by so quickly, while the agonizing chapters of life feels like its forever.
So many people tried to help me, but some have now begun to walk away from me because I was and still am struggling to get out of the shitty life I'm in. Launching my new RUclips channel and having a stable part-time job feel like progress, but it truly isn't, and I'm stuck in a situation where I need to find a full-time job and want to go to grad school, but it seems like an impossible dream, and now my parents have successfully controlled my future, and I'm starting to lose the battle.
I hope you're doing well now, and congratulations on your RUclips comeback! Wish you all the best!
Sending love💜
Wah ini mirip bgt wkt gw balik ke indo dr jp 10 thn yg lalu.
1. Tetap semangat cari kerja nya, sementara cari kerjaan yg japan related di indo (kerja di perusahaan jp yg ada di indo, penerjemah, guru bhs jp, etc).
2.Coba cari teman baru, bs jg lewat komunitas. Byk teman bagus utk koneksi jg di masa depan.
3.Cari hobby baru, bs hilangin stress jg & bs dpt teman baru jg dr situ.
4.Tetap berdoa, bersyukur, keep positive aja sih.
I relate 100%
I moved to Japan in 2013 and moved back home in 2014, stayed there only one year (I was 30 at that time). I felt the same, faced the same when I came back, so that's normal. However it all depends on the way you see it and the goal you set to yourself. For now, it's still fresh, you get it in the face, that is hard, but you have 2 possibilities: either you stay in this state, or you organise yourself to follow your dream. Japan is not closed to you, you know? Yep, it may take years, but if that's really what you want to do, think about a way to move back there and move forward to it. That is basically what life is all about.
Regarding the toxic corporate jobs, believe me, Japan so no way better. If you work in Japan, you will have your share of toxic corporate jobs ;) I don't know what kind of degree you got, but Have you thought about freelancing? In any case, don't give up. But keep practicing your Japanese because you will need it. And keep contact with your friends over there as well!
Good luck!
I suggest that you find a recruitment agency that's sending people to Japan, albeit the job options may not be related to what you've finished -- mostly agriculture and manufacturing kind of jobs.
I tell myself to do what I love and what I am passionate about for me it`s to live in Japan and I don't let anything stay in my way I know what you feel I felt the same until I started doing what my heart tells me to do and home is where you feel happy and safe whether in Japan, Indonesia or even on Mars
yep ❤ i've been trying to listen to what my heart wants, and i hope one day i can feel more grounded wherever I'm at ❣thank you for the support
To be completely honest I think you got hit by 2 big issues, the first moving back from japan, the second becoming an adult. I don't think japan made you completely happy just because it was "japan" but because you had a great student lifestyle there, maybe if you did get the job the corporate lifestyle in japan might have shifted your point of view
Only lived in Japan for half a year and I felt the same thing after returning back home to Jakarta. As soon as I landed back home, I thought to myself "I could've stayed for another semester and I chose to go back home. What have I done?". It was quite disastrous having to readjust to everything (work, school, family, friends, etc), so that's why I'm planning to move back to Japan next year. So safe to say that you're not alone in this. Hopefully you can find a way to go back to Japan. Or, if you can't, hopefully you can find peace knowing that you've experience a life that most people could only ever dream of, take some time to find closure, and actually start living your reality here. Best of luck.
Re-adjusting again to your old live is quite challenging, that I wish i give myself time to process it. Is all learning experience and for now I want to close the Japan chapter. Good luck on your move back to Japan!!!
To be honest, i'm not sure if you dodged a big bullet.
I think it sucked that you didn't manage to find a job in japan,
but the transition from college in japan to a job in japan is a completely different ballgame.
Although i do believe that the conveniences that japan offer will dull the pains of the job a little, but the end result will still make some people jaded.
Like they always say, touring, living, studying in japan is great, but working in japan is a nightmare.
But if you really want to keep at it, definitely keep applying for jobs in japan that will relocate you there!
A really great video! and a very good method for outlet of your emotions. I do hope you'll be able to live permanently in japan one day!
Thank you for your comments! Adulting and transitioning from a uni student to a full grown adult is a huge challenge on itself that I'm currently facing with :") But dealing with adulting and reverse culture shock can be overwhelming and I think that's what I'm struggling with.
You can also try working for free room and board at certain hotels that may sponsor your visa, especially as you’re bilingual
I went many places working but always feel at home where I am growing up in Italy, maybe beause it' s a small place and you knonw a lot of people there, especially the one whom you share your youth together
Keep looking for a Japanese job and applying while overseas and try to return. Look up video “ How I Got Japanese Permanent Residence in Only 2 Years!” By
tokuyuu and depending on your education, where you took your classes and other factors, you maybe able to close the gap and even apply early for PR. You can also go the student route and work remote while you “learn”. You can also have one of your friends sponsor you directly and keep looking for a job during that time. Do not give up.
You can always try to find a new country to live in or try to move back to Japan in the future too. No reason to stay in Indonesia or any country for that matter if your not happy there. Sometimes due to a variety of reasons one single country might not be possible but other similar countries may be though.
I lived 4 years in South Korea (Seoul and Jeju island)
I returned to Florida for 11 months
Now I find myself in Tokyo 😅
Couldn't adjust to life in America again 😂😂
re-adjusting is hard :"(
I know you worked hard to get to Japan in the first place, and you worked hard to stay there. If you want to live in Japan then I wouldn't give up. You can work to get back there again, and use what you learned the first time around to succeed in finding work in Japan. The person you become while you are working hard to achieve a goal: isn't that the person you still are?
4 years lol that’s a blink you really have a glimpse memory
As an Indonesian who was raised in the UK, I know how you feel. I can never connect with any Indonesians at all, and I was being subjected to bullying because I couldn't speak Indonesian when I first came. At least you live in Jakarta where there are people who understands English. Unlike me, people saw me as an alien. When I visit Indonesia, I would definitely love to meet you and it would be nice if you could conduct an interview.
Feeling like an alien is actually the worst. :( Please! I love to meet new people :3
@audreya_mp I would definitely let you know. I'd drop you a private message. One thing for sure, DO NOT close your Japan chapter. No, it's not over yet. You just need to find a way. I nearly gave up my hope of coming back to Europe, even back to UK. And yet I made it back. Even when my visa expired again recently, I still made it back to Europe, although not UK. So no, your Japan chapter is not ready to be closed.
Brother, you have killed me.
don't die yet fam 😭
I leaving my hell hole 3rd world country for Japan can't tell you how nervous i am
You can do it! it might be challenging but if you put your hearts on it you will be fine!
またきなよ！
Sounds rough, but i do think you are forgetting the fact that most of us experience this. It is not longing for your country, but longing for your youth, the time we spend as an teenager, early adult are often considered the best years of our life. They aren't, but we like to look at them like that. I'm also raised in a different country than I live in, it always feels like home, but when I go back I'm a foreigner, friends.. Yeah they got kids and other obligations times change, you change, we all change. Time doesn't care, look fond of those memories in the past but not let them drag you down. Try to build a new future, nothing is easy I don't have to tell you that just try to accept the facts how they are. And yeah... Nostalgia is a bitch.
Definitely. I guess I tried to accept that things comes and go, and making this video is just my way to finally close the chapter and move on with my life. I believe we can make more memories with other people in our life! Thanks for the comments :")
@@audreya_mp I struggle with depression that my life will end someday, and this is one of the things that cause anxiety. Most of the days it doesn't bother me but some periods remind me by abrupt weaking me at night. Try to stay ahead of that, you cannot change the past and live for the moment. Don't become like me you seem far more capable then me, I think to much about the future and worry to much about the past.
My dream is to live in Japan 😥
Well, if the comparator is Indonesia...
It so good to see an Indonesian girl that doesn't have your hair wrapped like a muslim. I'm filipino, we are DNA cousins, our language Tagalog derived from Indonesia, I think. Maybe Malaysia?
getting a job shouldnt have been a problem if you were determined to get one. message people on linkedin, follow up if no messages, call companies, go to company events, go to company at working hours, recruitment companies, do content or projects to show expertise... like getting a job for a visa is pretty important...
thanks for posting though. this will be motivating for me to work harder on staying.
Thank you for the advice! I'm currently just focusing on my well being, but in the future I will look up for new opportunities
During your stay in japan, did you occasionally return to indonesia forawhile during natsu yasumi each year?
I only came back home around 3-4 times (i was Stuck in Tokyo because of Covid-19)
I can understand how you feel but there are always 2 sides to a coin. I will mention the elephant in the room first. You talked about how much work sucks in Jarkata. I doubt work is gonna be any better in Japan. In fact, it might be worse. I'm sure you heard of how bad over time work is in Japan and people actually die due to "karoshi". Also, i noticed your friends are mostly non-Japanese, so i believe most of them will eventually go back to their home country. Your connection is strong with your friends, not Japan. Imagine most of them went back to their own country and then you go to Japan, you gonna feel empty there as well. I hope what i said can offer another perspective to your reality and it can bring comfort/relief to you in some way.
I agree, good observation. Most youtuber tell sob story about living or leaving a place, but we only get a glimpse of their life. Sometimes a glimpse is all we need.
I wonder if she thinks everything in Japan was happier because she was younger and had friends. But times change, again when she would go back to Japan, the times has changed again and all her previous friends now have family and new connections through the children or the couples network..
Then she will feel out of place again! So the most important is for her to find her inner balance and learn to enjoy her own company. Then face the society and possibly make new network of friends and acquaintances. But never because she thinks she has to have it all the way it was..?
🙏🏾📿
First: stay strong. next: you are not the first one (or the last one); then: as you say at the end try to understand what you want; if Japan is what you want, then since I am assuming you are fluent in the language, did you try to find a job for a Japanese company in Jakarta? (was that your toxic experience?). I do know that the Japanese corporate environment is not the taste of everyone but maybe working for a Japanese company could open the option of going back for your company? Just thinking loud. In the meantime gambatte kudasai ne...!
Thank you ❣For now Japan always be a second home for me. For toxic experience, no is not when I was working in Japan. I'm currently freelancing but in the future if i was given an opportunity to move to Japan again I might take it :3 thanks for the support ❣
Sure. I meant whether the toxic experience in Jakarta was for a local company, not a Japanese one? In any case, what I was trying to say is that if Japan is what you want then there will be significant effort needed on your side to overcome obstacles linked to the fact that you are not Japanese yourself. Getting a job with a Japanese company while in Indonesia could open doors/options. from own experience, we tend to develop a overly romantic view of places based on positive experiences (talking from own experience in Japan 40y ago). Time will bring you weight better reality. But at your age you need a strong dream to live for. Kindest regards from Germany from Oji-san . 😊
Audreya, *I need you as my better half* , definitely I would put you on my back, we shall not fall except achieve.
Please don’t behave this way to women online. It’s not appropriate to objectify girls in this way.
I stopped half way through the video because I have to go to work. So if you covered this forgive me. What about teaching English ? You are fluent in it . Get language education certificate and teach English and search for a job you really want on the side !!
She has a degree. The issue with Japan is you may never get the job you “really want” if you aren’t Japanese. It can happen but mostly you will end up teaching English, in a restaurant or doing some low end TV work. It’s not really a country for foreigners who aspire in their career as they take nationalism (hiring and promoting Japanese people first) more seriously than in more multicultural countries such as the U.K. which actively encourages diversity in the workplace.
I would give you a like but I woke up and the like button is gone.
Great video! Have you considered building up a RUclips career? If you do well with RUclips and make USD you can move back to Japan!
Get over yourself and move on.
So funny you should say that, you could have also moved on from this video but you decided to put a rude comment instead.