Remember to subscribe, if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one: ▶ Why The Other Person Doesn't Have To Change | Untangling Codependency & Enmeshment ruclips.net/video/-iUPjm3tjEs/видео.html ▶ Psychologist On Codependency Recovery: Overcoming Unhelpful Control In Relationships ruclips.net/video/mRhxHGIopuw/видео.html ▶ Relationships playlist ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c8Xs4q3xXlsmGuVAANt3GmE “Emotional loneliness comes from not having enough emotional intimacy with other people.” (Lindsay C. Gibson)
This video really helped me understand that my worries about having been in an enmeshed relationship were not true. None of the symptoms you described fit that relationship. Indeed, what you describe about a healthy relationship appears to fairly closely align with what I had with this other person. It doesn't mean that we weren't trauma bonded or overly intimate in an unhealthy way or had savior complexes in this relationship. But I appreciate this perspective having caused me to eliminate one potential downfall for this relationship that I fear has failed, but hope has not.
Aww thanks for letting me know my content has been so helpful, this is really inspiring to me 🙏🏻🙂🌷 All the best to you. It’s wonderful you’ve been changing your life that much ☀️
This is very well done and consistent with my values. Its is honest, yet respectful. Dr Steinborn obviously has family systems training and engages user friendly language that anyone can understand. Robert L Weiss, LICSW, CAS
Thank you for this! 🙏🏻 I‘m glad that what I aimed at came across in these ways and that the video resonated with you as it seems we are colleagues... 🙏🏻🙋🏼♀️
This video is super helpful. I get the feeling English isn’t your first language, which would explain why you are pronouncing “intimacy” the way you are. Americans pronounce intimacy “IN-tim-acy” where the emphasis is put on the first syllable. The first syllable is stressed, and the last three are unstressed. You are putting equal emphasis on all four syllables, which isn’t how Americans pronounce it 😉
Glad this was helpful! 🌻 And yes, you've detected correctly 🙂 - English is my second language, German my first. Thanks for explaining the pronounciation of intimacy!
Question : (personal experience) is it possible to that people ( babies/kids) growing up in these environments never develop concrete sense of selves, opinions, boundaries and so on … very loosely develop those attributes when step out side of family unite and very easily slip into the family system/enmeshed self on reunion? I get that feeling a lot when spending week or more with my mum … now a days I recognise the unpleasantness of the feeling loosing myself and adopting herself … but the process is so slow and subtle… what can I do to stop it?
Yes, people who grow up in enmeshed families often have an underdeveloped sense of self and boundaries. But this is definitely something you can also learn later in life. It starts by learning about signs from your self, maybe you'll find this video about that helpful: How To Know What You Want & Who You Are | Signs Of Self-Discovery ruclips.net/video/8FFsksOGcKQ/видео.html Next, it's important to learn how to set boundaries, so you can protect yourself and what matters to you. You can find videos about that in my boundaries playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c8cAsy94uaCWyY6p1Nro4ZC All the best!
Love this video! But...And I realise there's an accent or some other speech thing happening but the pronounciation of "intimacy," especially with how often it's repeated, is killing me 😅 it's making ME prounounce it that way in my head now just reading the word 😭
@@DrMaikaSteinborn I thought it was funny I had adopted your way so quickly. I can only speak one language and your English is so good I think that's part of why it stuck out so noticeably. Your content is fantastic either way. You have a new subscriber :)
I'm glad my content resonates with you and welcome to the channel 🙂! I've noticed I seem to make most pronunciation mistakes when the English word is very similar to the German word - in that case I sometimes unintentionally pronounce it the German way 😅...
@@DrMaikaSteinborn: I hear you but...I tend to think they lean more that way, traditionally. I'm just not sure it's entirely unhealthy, unless it's a more enforced thing. Plenty of older people die after their significant other dies, that's how much they loved and lived for them. I always thought that was somewhat romantic?
@@robertdeskoski9783 The problem with enmeshment is that it doesn't leave room for each person's individuality, personal growth etc. A couple can be very romantic and emotionally close and not enmeshed.
@@DrMaikaSteinborn: Isn't 'personal growth' more of a buzzword though? They weren't concerned with personal growth in those sorts of relationships, just being together and supporting each other. Anyway, I'm not trying to negate your video or get into an argument. I just think there might be a happy middle ground between both. It's like when people use the term 'codependency'. Sure, I get it, it's just not in the DSM and was used in AA circles mainly, but now it seems to mean 'unhealthy closeness'. But getting close seems inevtiable.
Remember to subscribe, if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one:
▶ Why The Other Person Doesn't Have To Change | Untangling Codependency & Enmeshment
ruclips.net/video/-iUPjm3tjEs/видео.html
▶ Psychologist On Codependency Recovery: Overcoming Unhelpful Control In Relationships
ruclips.net/video/mRhxHGIopuw/видео.html
▶ Relationships playlist ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c8Xs4q3xXlsmGuVAANt3GmE
“Emotional loneliness comes from not having enough emotional intimacy with other people.” (Lindsay C. Gibson)
This video really helped me understand that my worries about having been in an enmeshed relationship were not true. None of the symptoms you described fit that relationship. Indeed, what you describe about a healthy relationship appears to fairly closely align with what I had with this other person. It doesn't mean that we weren't trauma bonded or overly intimate in an unhealthy way or had savior complexes in this relationship. But I appreciate this perspective having caused me to eliminate one potential downfall for this relationship that I fear has failed, but hope has not.
I just wanted you to know how much you have changed my life for the better ! May Allah swa reward you
Aww thanks for letting me know my content has been so helpful, this is really inspiring to me 🙏🏻🙂🌷 All the best to you. It’s wonderful you’ve been changing your life that much ☀️
This is very well done and consistent with my values. Its is honest, yet respectful. Dr Steinborn obviously has family systems training and engages user friendly language that anyone can understand. Robert L Weiss, LICSW, CAS
Thank you for this! 🙏🏻 I‘m glad that what I aimed at came across in these ways and that the video resonated with you as it seems we are colleagues... 🙏🏻🙋🏼♀️
Another helpful video. Thank you for providing context around a difficult to grasp subject.
Thanks! I'd heard the term enmeshment, but you made it clear. I now understand better why my family was as it was.
Glad to hear it 🙂🙏🏻🙋🏼♀️
This video was so validating. You really nailed it. You are much appreciated, thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge!
Thank you, I‘m glad the video helped! 🌸🌈☀️
Wow, just got a new understanding of one of my relationships I have in my life! Beautiful! Thank you Maika!!!
That‘s wonderful! All the best for that relationship!🍀
Each one of your videos is extremely valuable. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
Thank you ❤️!
This topic is so important ! Thank you !
🙏🏻💯
This video has helped me to understand my relationship with one of my family members. Thank you.
That's great, I'm glad to hear that - and all the best for future interactions with this person ✨
Thank you very much for this video. I like the graphic. It makes it so clear for me.
Glad you liked it! 🙂
Yes the visual is extremely helpful
Great content!
Very helpful
That’s great 🙏🏻❤️ Thank you and all the best 🌷
This video is super helpful.
I get the feeling English isn’t your first language, which would explain why you are pronouncing “intimacy” the way you are.
Americans pronounce intimacy “IN-tim-acy” where the emphasis is put on the first syllable. The first syllable is stressed, and the last three are unstressed. You are putting equal emphasis on all four syllables, which isn’t how Americans pronounce it 😉
Glad this was helpful! 🌻 And yes, you've detected correctly 🙂 - English is my second language, German my first. Thanks for explaining the pronounciation of intimacy!
Great video, thank you!
🙂 Thanks for being here and the comment!
Thank you
🌻
So true
Thank yooou ☺️
🙂🙏🏻🌻
Question : (personal experience) is it possible to that people ( babies/kids) growing up in these environments never develop concrete sense of selves, opinions, boundaries and so on … very loosely develop those attributes when step out side of family unite and very easily slip into the family system/enmeshed self on reunion? I get that feeling a lot when spending week or more with my mum … now a days I recognise the unpleasantness of the feeling loosing myself and adopting herself … but the process is so slow and subtle… what can I do to stop it?
Yes, people who grow up in enmeshed families often have an underdeveloped sense of self and boundaries. But this is definitely something you can also learn later in life. It starts by learning about signs from your self, maybe you'll find this video about that helpful: How To Know What You Want & Who You Are | Signs Of Self-Discovery ruclips.net/video/8FFsksOGcKQ/видео.html
Next, it's important to learn how to set boundaries, so you can protect yourself and what matters to you. You can find videos about that in my boundaries playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c8cAsy94uaCWyY6p1Nro4ZC
All the best!
my family is somewhere between them
Interesting observation! I think there's elements and traces of both in most families... That's why it's helpful to be able to recognize both 💡
Love this video! But...And I realise there's an accent or some other speech thing happening but the pronounciation of "intimacy," especially with how often it's repeated, is killing me 😅 it's making ME prounounce it that way in my head now just reading the word 😭
Sorry - that’s my German accent!
@@DrMaikaSteinborn I thought it was funny I had adopted your way so quickly. I can only speak one language and your English is so good I think that's part of why it stuck out so noticeably.
Your content is fantastic either way. You have a new subscriber :)
I'm glad my content resonates with you and welcome to the channel 🙂! I've noticed I seem to make most pronunciation mistakes when the English word is very similar to the German word - in that case I sometimes unintentionally pronounce it the German way 😅...
Is a traditional marriage scenario an enmeshed relationship?
No, it depends on the way the couple interacts within the marriage...
@@DrMaikaSteinborn: I hear you but...I tend to think they lean more that way, traditionally. I'm just not sure it's entirely unhealthy, unless it's a more enforced thing. Plenty of older people die after their significant other dies, that's how much they loved and lived for them. I always thought that was somewhat romantic?
@@robertdeskoski9783 The problem with enmeshment is that it doesn't leave room for each person's individuality, personal growth etc. A couple can be very romantic and emotionally close and not enmeshed.
@@DrMaikaSteinborn: Isn't 'personal growth' more of a buzzword though? They weren't concerned with personal growth in those sorts of relationships, just being together and supporting each other.
Anyway, I'm not trying to negate your video or get into an argument. I just think there might be a happy middle ground between both. It's like when people use the term 'codependency'. Sure, I get it, it's just not in the DSM and was used in AA circles mainly, but now it seems to mean 'unhealthy closeness'. But getting close seems inevtiable.
U
🙂🙋🏼♀️