Shoutout to leaving yourself notes when you're pausing writing/editing for the day in case you don't come back to it for........several months. I know all about that life
Around 6:20 instead of a bunker Bella could go to the reservation? The vamps can't go on werewolf territory without breaking the treaty so I think it'd make sense, and Lauren might have vampire hunter friends there. Plus I want to see Jasmine interact with Lauren.
I think my favorite part of twilight is the drama of ending this chapter right here, the thing I remember the most too. I kind of wish that Edward's feelings were true just so it can be tragic when he dies.
I'm literally obsessed with this series and watched it up and down like 5 times already. (Like I've done with every other video of yours now, to be honest). It's a bummer that the real Twilight book wasted its potential like that. But it just makes your version with all the add-ons (and the actually fleshed-out characters!!) all the sweeter. And it helps me with editing my own writing, so it's a win-win for everyone. All in all, I just wanted to say thank you for your content. It brings me great joy and it helps me immensely with my own writing-journey.
correct me if i'm wrong but i remember reading somewhere that the vampires in twilight sparkle because of the venom in their veins. you've already mentioned that the venom is how they seduce humans into compliance, so maybe you could expand on that by including a reference to the serpent from the garden of eden to stick with the biblical themes (maybe the serpent was actually a vampire and eve was its victim??) idk just a thought lol. i love this series so much keep on slaying queen
Fear and arousal are very similar in the body, so that tracks. I remember reading about a study of "misattribution of arousal" wherein men met a woman on a bridge, who gave them her number to contact her for information about the project, and more men ended up calling her if they met her on a more dangerous bridge that would sway in the wind and stuff. I'm paraphrasing and pulling from memory so it's not totally accurate but the point is people are bad at understanding why we're feeling what we're feeling (hi anxiety, you motherfucker), especially if there's an easier explanation to latch onto than one that's less interesting or more uncomfortable.
The explanation for Alice being able to see Bella's future and Jasper controlling her emotions is given later on in the book -- it's supposed to be because they're different types of power. Basically Jas and Alice's powers are about ✨vibes✨-- or as I think Stephenie puts it, they affect the soul and not the mind. Bella's shield protects her from mind readers and powers that affect the mind. That explanation has always felt a bit shaky to me, though. unrelated note: I binged the entirety of the Twilight editing/rewriting/fanfiction writing videos within a few days and when I finish watching this I'll be caught up! from my end it feels like it escalated so quickly from doing small line-edits to make the prose more palateable to being gay and killing Edward 😂 I've been loving it though, and I love Lauren!
I have no idea why, but this series was the one writing video that convinced me to start dedicating time to writing a story idea I had instead of just thinking about it. so now whenever i watched one i get pumped to write that story. maybe because i want to write a better paranormal romance than twilight? who knows!
Also, I continue to find it funny that even though you've added a major detour there is so much of the Bella/Edward interactions that goes through with minimal editing because their 'flirting' is inherently creepy haha.
Great video, Hannah! Glad to be back looking for the trail to wherever this version is going to take us. This part of the source material seemed better paced and better written than most of what we've seen so far, but your rewrite still greatly improved things!
If you keep doing these, you could change the names and publish the whole thing eventually. Just as a demonstration, and perhaps to rescue some of the Twiglets from their attachment to bad writing. I guess satchel must mean something different where you are. I'm used to them being leather book bags fastened with buckles. "Herb satchel" gives me a lot of pictures of little pouches, but it does jar a little. Maybe it will be sufficiently familiar with the intended audience though. Anyway, impressive work ma'am.
Another banger. Another banger from Hannah Lee Kidder. Also I'm a little out of practice so I might be off, and I'd have to double check to be sure, but I think we hit our lowest ever SUC with the Official Shut Up Counter at just 2.5. The fact that so much of this was you having fun just Creating helped keep it low, I imagine.
it's been so long that I forgot who Lauren was and thought it was Jessica and was picturing Anna Kendrick for a good portion of this video lmao. anyways Team Lauren
ok another thing I'm noticing...it's not common in WA to say "the 101" people usually say "101 N" or "I-5" and putting a "the" is more of a CA thing. Steph Meyer a secret California girlie?
U.u the series is back! I just have a doubt, not sure if it is addressed in previous chapters... Does this Edwards version has telepathy? If so, how Lauren avoids him reading her mind and finding out about her family's mission. 😅
Well I'm finding this series at the perfect time! I'm attempting to re-read ACOTAR (love/hate relationship with those books) and on the first page "but winter was the hard time" sent me into an absolute fit so I was like No. This is ridiculous. Soooo now I'm re-writing ACOTAR 🤣
Someone write a version of Twilight that is instead PoV Lauren. I feel like Lauren would have hilarious commentary, probably rolling her eyes as she’d be watching Bella blunder about. But she’d still be watching out for her. Bella, you need to step up your game. Maybe murder the creepy stalker vampire monster. That’s one way to get the girl.
Edward's...animal magnetism isn't so much a power of his as it is a trait common to vampires (at least, that's how it's explained the, like, one time it's brought up in the books, when he's revealing what he is to Bella and how vampires are built to overkill to draw in their prey even though they can physically overpower them at any point so there's not a ton of reason why they'd also be able to draw humans in but vampires sexy so it was in there. Also I'm pretty sure the explanation I landed on for Jasper's ability affecting Bella is that it affects the physical body, maybe like pheremones or something (such as how the scent of lavender is calming, and how a lot of animals communicate and coordinate). And that way, even though it's affecting emotions, which we think of as mental, it has a physical mechanism so it gets around Bella's mental shield.
@@HannahLeeKidder Ok so the Madame Meyer didn't go in depth on the biology of vampires or their powers so we can't know for sure the mechanisms by which they work (which is why Jasper's power is guesswork as well, natch) but given that his works and hers doesn't it might be that Jane's power directly influences the brain to feel pain that isn't there. Whereas if it, say, activated the nerves to convince the brain it was in pain, it should theoretically get around Bella's shield. Though I guess it's also possible that there's a divide between the nervous systems that causes the distinction but that's getting super in the weeds and it's been a long time since high school biology so I'd probably get that wrong even if I did get into it 😂
@@HannahLeeKidder But in terms of like. What the book says, there's really no reason why Jasper's should work and Jane's shouldn't. It's all just unconscious biases/(mis)understandings of how the body works and also what works for the plot and whatnot
I’ve read that explanation as well, buuuut even if we consider Jane’s power as something mental, what about the girl from Denali or smth. She creates an electrical shock and Bella is still untouchable💅🏻 or the guy with a sensory deprivation powers? Are those mental as well? I’m genuinely confused…
@@aishatbay6013 Kate's electroshock powers are blocked by Bella's shield. She's actually used to train Bella in how to extend her shield by using her power on Edward and then (almost) Renesmee (except that that's enough of a push to get Bella to extend her shield properly). Alec's sensory deprivation was also blocked by her shield. Also as an update apparently Jane's pain is "illusory" which is why it doesn't work on Bella. I guess it's not even activating nerves but just projecting the illusion of being on fire into the victim's mind. Apparently Alec and Jane both had psychic talent even before they were turned. At least if the Twilight wiki is correct 😂
would you be willing/able to tell us how you got this text into word doc format? any I'm finding are either super messed up on the formatting or in a weird pdf with massive font
Is it correct/normal to not have spaces on either side of an em dash? I use em dashes (alright, honestly I overuse them) and I've always done them with a space on either side.
Look, when I was her age, I _did_ listen to Chopin's nocturnes (and refused to listen to pop because I was not like other girls, you see - now I mostly listen to k-pop lol).
take a shot every time bella trembles or quivers
first 10 chapters: view.flodesk.com/pages/60a6b2262c1a4117de4b7602
“I DREAMT OF EDWARD’S FANGS AND LAURENS EYES” ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Omg Lauren is yellow because she’s sunshine and Bella hates the rain in Forks your brain is SO big
yellow for brodie/lauren!
this series has been great at helping me stay up all night working on my uni project! thank you for the years at this point that you spent doing this.
as a fellow Background Noise worker, I'm honored to be that for you 🙏
Shoutout to leaving yourself notes when you're pausing writing/editing for the day in case you don't come back to it for........several months.
I know all about that life
gotta keep them notes, man. the thoughts flow right out my ears immediately. every day is new and exciting
@@HannahLeeKidder A blessing and a curse. But notes do be putting in work to keep things running smoothly
"Stephanie! That is not very tabernacle of you" sent me 😂
Around 6:20 instead of a bunker Bella could go to the reservation? The vamps can't go on werewolf territory without breaking the treaty so I think it'd make sense, and Lauren might have vampire hunter friends there. Plus I want to see Jasmine interact with Lauren.
✍️✍️✍️
I think my favorite part of twilight is the drama of ending this chapter right here, the thing I remember the most too.
I kind of wish that Edward's feelings were true just so it can be tragic when he dies.
I'm literally obsessed with this series and watched it up and down like 5 times already. (Like I've done with every other video of yours now, to be honest). It's a bummer that the real Twilight book wasted its potential like that. But it just makes your version with all the add-ons (and the actually fleshed-out characters!!) all the sweeter. And it helps me with editing my own writing, so it's a win-win for everyone.
All in all, I just wanted to say thank you for your content. It brings me great joy and it helps me immensely with my own writing-journey.
That is very kind to say! Thank you so much for hanging out
correct me if i'm wrong but i remember reading somewhere that the vampires in twilight sparkle because of the venom in their veins. you've already mentioned that the venom is how they seduce humans into compliance, so maybe you could expand on that by including a reference to the serpent from the garden of eden to stick with the biblical themes (maybe the serpent was actually a vampire and eve was its victim??) idk just a thought lol. i love this series so much keep on slaying queen
Fear and arousal are very similar in the body, so that tracks. I remember reading about a study of "misattribution of arousal" wherein men met a woman on a bridge, who gave them her number to contact her for information about the project, and more men ended up calling her if they met her on a more dangerous bridge that would sway in the wind and stuff.
I'm paraphrasing and pulling from memory so it's not totally accurate but the point is people are bad at understanding why we're feeling what we're feeling (hi anxiety, you motherfucker), especially if there's an easier explanation to latch onto than one that's less interesting or more uncomfortable.
"This isnt sponsored because we are rewriting twilight"
Shuttering and trembling how could NovelPad hate this content that much
name a better spot for a software ad! you can't! prime real estate, baybee
I'm so excited for this, I love your take on the story and Vampire-Hunter Bella and her girlfriend are to die for!
The explanation for Alice being able to see Bella's future and Jasper controlling her emotions is given later on in the book -- it's supposed to be because they're different types of power. Basically Jas and Alice's powers are about ✨vibes✨-- or as I think Stephenie puts it, they affect the soul and not the mind. Bella's shield protects her from mind readers and powers that affect the mind. That explanation has always felt a bit shaky to me, though.
unrelated note: I binged the entirety of the Twilight editing/rewriting/fanfiction writing videos within a few days and when I finish watching this I'll be caught up! from my end it feels like it escalated so quickly from doing small line-edits to make the prose more palateable to being gay and killing Edward 😂 I've been loving it though, and I love Lauren!
Lauren with the edible AirTags.
"Passes through my ASS?" laksdjflaskjdflaksj
I have no idea why, but this series was the one writing video that convinced me to start dedicating time to writing a story idea I had instead of just thinking about it. so now whenever i watched one i get pumped to write that story. maybe because i want to write a better paranormal romance than twilight? who knows!
Most appropriate typo ever -- bite-amins. We saw it.
Thrilled to jump back into this masterful rewrite.
Also, I continue to find it funny that even though you've added a major detour there is so much of the Bella/Edward interactions that goes through with minimal editing because their 'flirting' is inherently creepy haha.
@@WHATRadioNickSembrat stephenie WANTS me to do this, u can tell
@@HannahLeeKidder I'm getting convinced her first draft was a murder thriller that she changed later
Great video, Hannah! Glad to be back looking for the trail to wherever this version is going to take us. This part of the source material seemed better paced and better written than most of what we've seen so far, but your rewrite still greatly improved things!
thank u! I feel like we're picking up momentum again, shout out stephenie
If you keep doing these, you could change the names and publish the whole thing eventually. Just as a demonstration, and perhaps to rescue some of the Twiglets from their attachment to bad writing.
I guess satchel must mean something different where you are. I'm used to them being leather book bags fastened with buckles. "Herb satchel" gives me a lot of pictures of little pouches, but it does jar a little. Maybe it will be sufficiently familiar with the intended audience though. Anyway, impressive work ma'am.
Another banger. Another banger from Hannah Lee Kidder.
Also I'm a little out of practice so I might be off, and I'd have to double check to be sure, but I think we hit our lowest ever SUC with the Official Shut Up Counter at just 2.5.
The fact that so much of this was you having fun just Creating helped keep it low, I imagine.
im so glad this is back
I absolutely adore this and just want so much more of it.
we love Lauren the scewwy vampiuh huntah
she gonna get emm ooo
Those lil face framing curls were paid actors 💖
I don't know how this appeared on my recommended, but I'm so glad it did 😂 I'm so invested! Also this thumbnail rules 🤣
it's been so long that I forgot who Lauren was and thought it was Jessica and was picturing Anna Kendrick for a good portion of this video lmao. anyways Team Lauren
ok another thing I'm noticing...it's not common in WA to say "the 101" people usually say "101 N" or "I-5" and putting a "the" is more of a CA thing. Steph Meyer a secret California girlie?
She's a Utah girlie
I’ve been waiting so long for this upload… never thought I’d see the day😭
U.u the series is back! I just have a doubt, not sure if it is addressed in previous chapters... Does this Edwards version has telepathy? If so, how Lauren avoids him reading her mind and finding out about her family's mission. 😅
she's Specially Trained (idk)
Edward doesn’t understand neurodivergence
@@freyablack4979 oh my god it's her autism superpowers
I love how you turned Twilight from a paranormal romance to a paranormal horror! Also, I never thought that I would ship Bella and Lauren😂 I adore it!
We love a little color symbolism moment!
Well I'm finding this series at the perfect time! I'm attempting to re-read ACOTAR (love/hate relationship with those books) and on the first page "but winter was the hard time" sent me into an absolute fit so I was like No. This is ridiculous. Soooo now I'm re-writing ACOTAR 🤣
YESSSS i havent even watched this yet but im so hype theres another one!
thanks for being here!!
Someone write a version of Twilight that is instead PoV Lauren. I feel like Lauren would have hilarious commentary, probably rolling her eyes as she’d be watching Bella blunder about. But she’d still be watching out for her. Bella, you need to step up your game. Maybe murder the creepy stalker vampire monster. That’s one way to get the girl.
Edward's...animal magnetism isn't so much a power of his as it is a trait common to vampires (at least, that's how it's explained the, like, one time it's brought up in the books, when he's revealing what he is to Bella and how vampires are built to overkill to draw in their prey even though they can physically overpower them at any point so there's not a ton of reason why they'd also be able to draw humans in but vampires sexy so it was in there.
Also I'm pretty sure the explanation I landed on for Jasper's ability affecting Bella is that it affects the physical body, maybe like pheremones or something (such as how the scent of lavender is calming, and how a lot of animals communicate and coordinate). And that way, even though it's affecting emotions, which we think of as mental, it has a physical mechanism so it gets around Bella's mental shield.
why does dakota fanning's pain thing not work on her? (i am very behind on twilight lore)
@@HannahLeeKidder Ok so the Madame Meyer didn't go in depth on the biology of vampires or their powers so we can't know for sure the mechanisms by which they work (which is why Jasper's power is guesswork as well, natch)
but given that his works and hers doesn't it might be that Jane's power directly influences the brain to feel pain that isn't there. Whereas if it, say, activated the nerves to convince the brain it was in pain, it should theoretically get around Bella's shield.
Though I guess it's also possible that there's a divide between the nervous systems that causes the distinction but that's getting super in the weeds and it's been a long time since high school biology so I'd probably get that wrong even if I did get into it 😂
@@HannahLeeKidder But in terms of like. What the book says, there's really no reason why Jasper's should work and Jane's shouldn't. It's all just unconscious biases/(mis)understandings of how the body works and also what works for the plot and whatnot
I’ve read that explanation as well, buuuut even if we consider Jane’s power as something mental, what about the girl from Denali or smth. She creates an electrical shock and Bella is still untouchable💅🏻 or the guy with a sensory deprivation powers? Are those mental as well? I’m genuinely confused…
@@aishatbay6013 Kate's electroshock powers are blocked by Bella's shield. She's actually used to train Bella in how to extend her shield by using her power on Edward and then (almost) Renesmee (except that that's enough of a push to get Bella to extend her shield properly).
Alec's sensory deprivation was also blocked by her shield.
Also as an update apparently Jane's pain is "illusory" which is why it doesn't work on Bella. I guess it's not even activating nerves but just projecting the illusion of being on fire into the victim's mind. Apparently Alec and Jane both had psychic talent even before they were turned.
At least if the Twilight wiki is correct 😂
"(jeans from the men's section)" is that a reference to women's jeans having a history of no real pockets?
Ain't no way she's fitting a hunting knife into those lil bitty pockets
Hi Hannah, do you have any videos or tips on how to do skip time well in your story. Say if I wanted to skip 3 hrs in a story.
i missed this so much!! absolutely love it
I live for this series haha
How did you know I needed this today? Lauren on the spectrum? Way to represent! Her special interest is hunting vampires😊
Ooh I’ve missed this series!
I look forward to these sm 🙏
would you be willing/able to tell us how you got this text into word doc format? any I'm finding are either super messed up on the formatting or in a weird pdf with massive font
Mine is also super messed up, I just edit it
Is it correct/normal to not have spaces on either side of an em dash? I use em dashes (alright, honestly I overuse them) and I've always done them with a space on either side.
It's regional, basically. Lots of slightly different grammar and punctuation rules.
@@HannahLeeKidder Oh OK, that makes sense. Thanks!
Also your chickens are adorable
She _is_ lying when saying no one knows she's with him -- Lauren knows.
Omg YESSSS
Look, when I was her age, I _did_ listen to Chopin's nocturnes (and refused to listen to pop because I was not like other girls, you see - now I mostly listen to k-pop lol).
Replace 'Edward' with 'Morbius'
Jiggy Nyyyye!
This is literally akin to the second coming of Christ
🙏
Have you been reported to the Volturi for this?
Hello Hannah
This series is so funny.
Auto like cuz your chicken is cool
"Promosm" 🤩
why would you do this to yourself
Your keyboard is way too loud and detracts from your video. If you were hearing what I was hearing you would not be happy.
heard, chef