WHAT IF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bella and Lauren and Jasmine work together to retrieve the ancestral magic, then the werewolves can turn and chase the Cullens out of Forks!!!!!!!!
Glad to have this series back! I don't think I'll ever read the originals because I would just end up laughing at every unnecessary semicolon and all the repetitive Edwardian glowering
Yeah Bella being a martyr who's willing to get close to a monster to protect people does seem like a pretty natural extension of her longsuffering martyrdom to not make her loved ones worry about her, and technically also her mothering/being protective of Renee. It really does track
"So if Bella were a real and logical girl, she would be picking up on some of these red flags." Given all the teenage girls who read the story and come out as Team Edward, I dunno about that. Which I don't say as a knock against teenage girls, just that Society™️ and other factors tend to not only leave them ill-prepared to deal with noticing and acting on red flags, but sometimes actively disarm them. [Erases an entire tirade about this and how Bella's characterization as needing to mature early to take care of her mother would likely make her more susceptible to an older guy approaching her, rather than less]. There's probably a better place for that than the youtube comments section, I think.
What if Lauren's family is a long line of vampire hunters, but they've never been able to kill the Cullens because of their telepathy, emotion manipulation, and foresight. So, in this version, none of the vampire abilities should work on Bella, so Alice can't see the future and Jasper can't influence her. Lauren figures this out based on eavesdropping on the Cullen family and is recruiting (seducing?) Bella so SHE will kill them. And, maybe Lauren or Jasmine tells Bella that the Cullens stole a valuable artefact to oppress the tribe, and this motivates Bella to actually do it. So she helps Edward get killed (maybe stabs him with Chekov's knife).
@@HannahLeeKidder "What are you thinking?" he asked, brushing an abnormally cold finger along the side of my face. He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. I didn't dare move. "I'm thinking, this has been a long time coming." His eyes widened as I drove my knife--the very one we'd joked about so many times--beneath his ribs. With Lauren's dad's blessing, I didn't have to aim for the heart or the head.
"I have a better than average grasp of human nature. But you...you never do what I expect" When you've had the cheat codes on and they suddenly get disabled but you think it's the game's fault you're suddenly bad.
Tbh Carlisle having stole whatever let’s the wolves transform would would make new moon work better because it would give us a more logical trigger for werewolves to start manifesting in the tribe than just, vampires have been hanging around for a couple years
I love the changes you’ve made with Bella, her hanging out with Ed more because she doesn’t trust him out of her sight and thinks he’s a danger to the rest of the school, that is an interesting and engaging character! Like “Oh, this guy is dangerous, I better make sure he doesn’t do anything to anyone else here!” Bella finding Rosalie and Alice extremely attractive and less creepy than Ed is also a very welcome addition, though we’re not changing much there heheheh. Anyway, I am glad this is back, looking forward to more! Edit: saw other comments, you might be able to sell me on the bloodsucking colonizing thieves stealing from the tribe, and having Lauren, Jasmine and Bella work together to get back the box of furs and teeth actually sounds pretty cool. This is no longer a book to make into a movie, this is a multi arc urban fantasy tv series. Again though, Carlisle’s character is kinda in dissonance given that he’s both the compassionate doctor who swore off human blood because he didn’t want to kill people, and also the rich colonial asshole from the 1600s who seems to not know informed consent and somehow never thought that living near the people who are forced to turn into giant wolves because of his presence might not like him being in Forks or even bothering to ask anything before moving back.
okay so i remember at some point in the books the wolves talked about how they hated not being able to choose who they imprint on? What if the object stolen is an ancestral object that can free them of the Imprinting????? That would later give Jasmine (Jacob) incentive to hate the Cullens for causing the weird imprint the character gets on Bella's unborn egg lmao. It'd also add some spice to the later introduced characters within the tribe and their inner conflict of like... love relationships breaking up because of imprinting???
it could also be connected to how they shift AND what if the object in turn has been giving the vampires their weird extra powers???? That would make conflict between like... some of the vampires not realizing the object was stolen but being afraid of losing 'a piece of themselves' if they lose their special power? idk
Hey, if you're going with the Carlisle stealing something from the Quiliutes angle, it might be interesting to eventually reveal that Lauren is surveilling the Cullens because she's working for the Quiliutes, trying to get their box back.
What you said in your last video is totally true, the book would be more interesting if it was about Lauren. A teenage girl trying to gather information on a group of supernatural beings who could kill her in a split second if they ever found out who she was and what she was doing. The suspense is built right into it, you'd have to work at it to screw it up.
Alright, the SUC (Shut Up Counter) reached 40 during the premiere, but I'm always a little distracted during those, so I rewatched and rechecked and we still hit 40 Which is actually wild because I did /not/ use the same math but still got the same result. Fun! SUC: 40 for this one.
I’m really hoping Bella still gets turned into a Vampire but that’s because I think the super powers are cool and I want her to get stronger and wreck shop.
A box of teeth is just really on brand for you. It could definitely be a neat direction for Bella and Lauren to have to return a source of power to the werewolves
Yes! I agree that Bella should’ve been able to pick out some of the red flags. As a teenager I definitely can, but maybe that’s because I didn’t read twilight when it was so popular aka I notice it’s flaws more. Also my general dislike for Edward comes into play. But yeah, I got a bit more into it when I was 15, which is younger than Bella here, and got the red flags so..
@@HannahLeeKidder yeah, and I think it also affected, in general, literally everything else about the book. From the unnecessary want for a child and marriage, even if she didn’t want it for years, or the imprinting. Sometimes I wonder how much better this would’ve been if she wasn’t Mormon
Since I probably won't remember it by the time the wrap-up cleanup stream happens, I'll just say here that what might work for that sentence could be something like "His face didn't quite match his words. It seemed like he said it to be polite, but worried I'd actually take the suggestion."
i just marathoned this entire series in like 3 days. your edits are making twilight much more interesting and fun to read! also fun fact, my friend is named jasmine. so every time im only half paying attention and you do a jacob to jasmine change, i think youre talking about my friend lmao.
I need to go back and watch all the past edits - but basically this is just keeping the Cullens the exact same and giving Bella a personality/brain, and I love it.
I binged all of the episodes over the last few days and it was amazing! it's such a great learning experience and you made the story actually interesting! Can't wait for more and I'm definitely going to check out the rest of your content ❤️❤️❤️
Hahaha I was wondering how the General Tone of these books read for people who didn't grow up in that type of religious community. Like do they notice it less or more than us? I can't decide if it's subtle or So Loud
so, i just recently stumbled across your channel while looking up various ways to set up my own writing. then, i decided to give this series of yours a try. i've only read one chapter of the twilight books, and i couldn't be bothered with it ( i really couldn't get attached to bella's pov ). but i actually really enjoy other people's changes to the book, but i effing love yours. it sounds so different on paper, yet is so interesting and makes more sense. also, it gives me a taste of stephanie's writing without actually having to consume too much of it. i don't think her writing is bad, but i just don't enjoy it and i'm loving your changes far better in terms of flow and general interest. keep up the great work!!
Ok but what if Edward stole the thing and Carlisle still be ignorant but upon finding out, maybe he catches her and Lauren sneaking around during a party. is like oh hell. So him and Charlie can be together. And Bella literally befriends all the cullens and they love her. And also Lauren and Bella together. And jasmine msybd also helps somehow, sneaking and info and what not.
I’m so curious what your opinion is on writing a story in First person vs third person pov. Like do you think one is a better tool to achieve a certain story telling technique? For example, maybe first person is better one to choose I order to have a strict single source of opinions and information and third person is best to keep a broader reach of understanding the plot? And do you have a preference and do you think one is easier to write in than the other?
Edward _is_ supposed to have good intuition and observation, because the reason he has mind-reading powers is supposed to be that he was observant in his human life, and that trait was "enhanced" in the vampire transformation. I do like your way of approaching it though - it's fun to think of how clueless a mindreader would be about non-verbal communication when confronted to the only person who can resist their mindreading powers. It's very logical too.
So excited to see you back! I was JUST rewatching your Old Novel Read videos last night and hoping you'd post more content soon! I also just read Little Birds earlier this week, and I already knew from watching your Twilight revisions that you're a great writer but DAMN, I finished some of those stories and immediately flipped back to read them all over again. So good!
I love the idea of the teeth thing. It gives a lot more personal stakes in their beef. White people stealing indigenous artifacts is sadly rooted in reality. According to the tribal website, they note that taking things like rocks, pottery, etc from their lands is seen as highly disrespectful, so I can see that deeply angering them.
Carlisle stole their lucky rabbit's foot key chain, and they just can't win a single bet on any kind of sports game without it. [EDIT] I considered making an Indian casino joke here, but I thought that would be leaning into racism.
favourite part is when hannah reads a line and goes
'no he didn't.' and deletes it
I love the idea that the Cullens stole the thing that lets them transform.
WHAT IF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bella and Lauren and Jasmine work together to retrieve the ancestral magic, then the werewolves can turn and chase the Cullens out of Forks!!!!!!!!
brooooo
Glad to have this series back! I don't think I'll ever read the originals because I would just end up laughing at every unnecessary semicolon and all the repetitive Edwardian glowering
Reading straight through a few chapters will soften the brain
Yeah Bella being a martyr who's willing to get close to a monster to protect people does seem like a pretty natural extension of her longsuffering martyrdom to not make her loved ones worry about her, and technically also her mothering/being protective of Renee.
It really does track
the way you can turn a flat and boring character like Bella into an actual likable person is amazing 👏
Thanks for the upload ◇
Thanks for watching
Agreed, well done
I do appreciate the indignant edge to every change of a gender swapped character, like it's the original book's fault for not keeping up with you
"So if Bella were a real and logical girl, she would be picking up on some of these red flags."
Given all the teenage girls who read the story and come out as Team Edward, I dunno about that. Which I don't say as a knock against teenage girls, just that Society™️ and other factors tend to not only leave them ill-prepared to deal with noticing and acting on red flags, but sometimes actively disarm them.
[Erases an entire tirade about this and how Bella's characterization as needing to mature early to take care of her mother would likely make her more susceptible to an older guy approaching her, rather than less].
There's probably a better place for that than the youtube comments section, I think.
Alice walks... like a snake?
I love the imagery that conjures.
Yeah she's walking graceful but her spine is doing a lil dip dip dip dip you feel me?
What if Lauren's family is a long line of vampire hunters, but they've never been able to kill the Cullens because of their telepathy, emotion manipulation, and foresight. So, in this version, none of the vampire abilities should work on Bella, so Alice can't see the future and Jasper can't influence her. Lauren figures this out based on eavesdropping on the Cullen family and is recruiting (seducing?) Bella so SHE will kill them. And, maybe Lauren or Jasmine tells Bella that the Cullens stole a valuable artefact to oppress the tribe, and this motivates Bella to actually do it. So she helps Edward get killed (maybe stabs him with Chekov's knife).
genius!
@@HannahLeeKidder "What are you thinking?" he asked, brushing an abnormally cold finger along the side of my face. He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. I didn't dare move.
"I'm thinking, this has been a long time coming." His eyes widened as I drove my knife--the very one we'd joked about so many times--beneath his ribs. With Lauren's dad's blessing, I didn't have to aim for the heart or the head.
"I have a better than average grasp of human nature. But you...you never do what I expect"
When you've had the cheat codes on and they suddenly get disabled but you think it's the game's fault you're suddenly bad.
Tbh Carlisle having stole whatever let’s the wolves transform would would make new moon work better because it would give us a more logical trigger for werewolves to start manifesting in the tribe than just, vampires have been hanging around for a couple years
Yeah!!
cant wait for the finale of this series where you fist fight stephanie to determine whose draft will exist forevermore while the other ceases to exist
I think we can hold hands instead!!!!!!!
@@HannahLeeKidder I mean I guess 🙄
Moonstone? Maybe the wolves have a moonstone that holds their power?
I don't think Stephenie has ever read this book out loud. Say it, Stephenie! Say it.
Day made. Thanks.
I love the changes you’ve made with Bella, her hanging out with Ed more because she doesn’t trust him out of her sight and thinks he’s a danger to the rest of the school, that is an interesting and engaging character! Like “Oh, this guy is dangerous, I better make sure he doesn’t do anything to anyone else here!” Bella finding Rosalie and Alice extremely attractive and less creepy than Ed is also a very welcome addition, though we’re not changing much there heheheh. Anyway, I am glad this is back, looking forward to more!
Edit: saw other comments, you might be able to sell me on the bloodsucking colonizing thieves stealing from the tribe, and having Lauren, Jasmine and Bella work together to get back the box of furs and teeth actually sounds pretty cool. This is no longer a book to make into a movie, this is a multi arc urban fantasy tv series. Again though, Carlisle’s character is kinda in dissonance given that he’s both the compassionate doctor who swore off human blood because he didn’t want to kill people, and also the rich colonial asshole from the 1600s who seems to not know informed consent and somehow never thought that living near the people who are forced to turn into giant wolves because of his presence might not like him being in Forks or even bothering to ask anything before moving back.
okay so i remember at some point in the books the wolves talked about how they hated not being able to choose who they imprint on? What if the object stolen is an ancestral object that can free them of the Imprinting????? That would later give Jasmine (Jacob) incentive to hate the Cullens for causing the weird imprint the character gets on Bella's unborn egg lmao. It'd also add some spice to the later introduced characters within the tribe and their inner conflict of like... love relationships breaking up because of imprinting???
it could also be connected to how they shift AND what if the object in turn has been giving the vampires their weird extra powers???? That would make conflict between like... some of the vampires not realizing the object was stolen but being afraid of losing 'a piece of themselves' if they lose their special power? idk
Hey, if you're going with the Carlisle stealing something from the Quiliutes angle, it might be interesting to eventually reveal that Lauren is surveilling the Cullens because she's working for the Quiliutes, trying to get their box back.
What you said in your last video is totally true, the book would be more interesting if it was about Lauren. A teenage girl trying to gather information on a group of supernatural beings who could kill her in a split second if they ever found out who she was and what she was doing. The suspense is built right into it, you'd have to work at it to screw it up.
Alright, the SUC (Shut Up Counter) reached 40 during the premiere, but I'm always a little distracted during those, so I rewatched and rechecked and
we still hit 40
Which is actually wild because I did /not/ use the same math but still got the same result. Fun!
SUC: 40 for this one.
omg hannah your keyboard sounds yes pls
U like the tippy tappin?
This book is like All Too Well (10 minute version) personified, and this version is like if Taylor killed Jake at the end (maybe).
I’ve had such a horrible day today, but seeing an upload made it a little better. I’m so glad there’s another video from my favorite series ❤️
I'm sorry your day sucked!
wait hold up nobody told me that mug comes in pink i NEED it
the mug comes in pink!!
thank u
I have missed these so much!! Yay Hannah!
Thanks for watching!
You WOULD try to work a box of teeth into a story
I would succeed in working a box of teeth into a story
realizing my crush on alice was actually just bella's crush on alice
(also hi friend! hope you've been well)
It's literally IN the source material
(Hi friend kissies)
I can't believe it's been so long. This series last year was certainly a gift.
I’m really hoping Bella still gets turned into a Vampire but that’s because I think the super powers are cool and I want her to get stronger and wreck shop.
What if she gets turned into a werewolf 👀 or if she's a special additional creature?
A box of teeth is just really on brand for you.
It could definitely be a neat direction for Bella and Lauren to have to return a source of power to the werewolves
Yes! I agree that Bella should’ve been able to pick out some of the red flags. As a teenager I definitely can, but maybe that’s because I didn’t read twilight when it was so popular aka I notice it’s flaws more. Also my general dislike for Edward comes into play. But yeah, I got a bit more into it when I was 15, which is younger than Bella here, and got the red flags so..
I think the author being Mormon really affected how she thought teens operate haha
@@HannahLeeKidder yeah, and I think it also affected, in general, literally everything else about the book. From the unnecessary want for a child and marriage, even if she didn’t want it for years, or the imprinting. Sometimes I wonder how much better this would’ve been if she wasn’t Mormon
Since I probably won't remember it by the time the wrap-up cleanup stream happens, I'll just say here that what might work for that sentence could be something like
"His face didn't quite match his words. It seemed like he said it to be polite, but worried I'd actually take the suggestion."
i just marathoned this entire series in like 3 days. your edits are making twilight much more interesting and fun to read!
also fun fact, my friend is named jasmine. so every time im only half paying attention and you do a jacob to jasmine change, i think youre talking about my friend lmao.
I need to go back and watch all the past edits - but basically this is just keeping the Cullens the exact same and giving Bella a personality/brain, and I love it.
I binged all of the episodes over the last few days and it was amazing! it's such a great learning experience and you made the story actually interesting! Can't wait for more and I'm definitely going to check out the rest of your content ❤️❤️❤️
Holy shit, anyone else just get hella triggered by “modest is hottest”? Or maybe I’m alone in my specific brand of religious trauma…
Hahaha I was wondering how the General Tone of these books read for people who didn't grow up in that type of religious community. Like do they notice it less or more than us? I can't decide if it's subtle or So Loud
so, i just recently stumbled across your channel while looking up various ways to set up my own writing. then, i decided to give this series of yours a try. i've only read one chapter of the twilight books, and i couldn't be bothered with it ( i really couldn't get attached to bella's pov ). but i actually really enjoy other people's changes to the book, but i effing love yours. it sounds so different on paper, yet is so interesting and makes more sense.
also, it gives me a taste of stephanie's writing without actually having to consume too much of it. i don't think her writing is bad, but i just don't enjoy it and i'm loving your changes far better in terms of flow and general interest.
keep up the great work!!
By jove I think she's done it
we saved him, doctor!
Hallelujah the queen returns!
You really got me laughing less than 10 seconds in, looking forward to this one
I see that little plant THRIVING ❤️❤️ also hello you
sometimes she grabs me around the neck and my flashes before me
Anyone else still rooting for Bella and Lauren to get together?
We have so many chapters left and a world of possibilities
@@HannahLeeKidder frankly, Lauren is Bella’s most wholesome relationship
Ok but what if Edward stole the thing and Carlisle still be ignorant but upon finding out, maybe he catches her and Lauren sneaking around during a party. is like oh hell. So him and Charlie can be together. And Bella literally befriends all the cullens and they love her. And also Lauren and Bella together. And jasmine msybd also helps somehow, sneaking and info and what not.
Next stop for the binge: Patreon. Also I'm so interested in this new twilight story, can't wait to keep reading
I’m so curious what your opinion is on writing a story in First person vs third person pov. Like do you think one is a better tool to achieve a certain story telling technique? For example, maybe first person is better one to choose I order to have a strict single source of opinions and information and third person is best to keep a broader reach of understanding the plot? And do you have a preference and do you think one is easier to write in than the other?
Hannah!!!! I’ve missed youuu!
Hello!!
Edward _is_ supposed to have good intuition and observation, because the reason he has mind-reading powers is supposed to be that he was observant in his human life, and that trait was "enhanced" in the vampire transformation. I do like your way of approaching it though - it's fun to think of how clueless a mindreader would be about non-verbal communication when confronted to the only person who can resist their mindreading powers. It's very logical too.
So excited to see you back! I was JUST rewatching your Old Novel Read videos last night and hoping you'd post more content soon!
I also just read Little Birds earlier this week, and I already knew from watching your Twilight revisions that you're a great writer but DAMN, I finished some of those stories and immediately flipped back to read them all over again. So good!
That is just the sweetest thing in the whole world omg!! Thank you for watching and reading 💜💜💜
Yesss its back!
Ahhh! I’m so excited!! 🎉
Watch these to focus on my editing practice.
I both watched and enjoyed this video.
Welcome back!
YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!
Will you edit the other books, or only this book
I always look forward to these vids!!
Ohhhh shucks thank you so much for watching 🥰
Twilight would have been better as a political drama, let’s be real here.
Bad RUclips, not giving me a notification.
It seems to distribute them randomly hahaha
I love the idea of the teeth thing. It gives a lot more personal stakes in their beef. White people stealing indigenous artifacts is sadly rooted in reality. According to the tribal website, they note that taking things like rocks, pottery, etc from their lands is seen as highly disrespectful, so I can see that deeply angering them.
Oo, I missed these
Thanks for coming back!
IM SO WXCITEDDD
I'm rooting for Edward to come out as trans and be Edwina.
Aedawxxtykuhxdfxdt HANNAH’S BACK!!!!!
Carlisle stole their lucky rabbit's foot key chain, and they just can't win a single bet on any kind of sports game without it. [EDIT] I considered making an Indian casino joke here, but I thought that would be leaning into racism.
Jfc where tf have you been
Not cool bro
Jk ily
Loca?
first
second!
@@HannahLeeKidder xth!
My gosh. I wish this was the Twilight they published
first
oops, nevermind
@@christianvchacon so close
@@HannahLeeKidder just by 3 hours :/
Solid effort though
@@LuckyGoulash thanks