I tried to leave my abusive ex four times and went back each time. Trying to fix it, fix us, work it out etc. It was not until his own mother sat me down and told me i needed to leave him for my own safety did I officially never go back. Her eldest son. His twin brother had also encouraged me but he was closer with his brother so he wasn’t as blatant, but his mom (who he was close to as well) was very clear. She helped me get out, get a restraining order against HER baby and backed me up in court because she knew I had no family or support other than his family due to how isolated I’d become. He took it out on her and she never wavered because her husband had done the same thing. She saw that in him and I can honestly say if it hadn’t been for her, I don’t think i would have had the strength to leave
Sadly, this isn't how these conversations go in real life. Majority of the time people stand up for the abuser and get very defensive. They are in a state of denial for a while unless they've seen it. Even still they deny due to the shame or the love bombing they experience. Look at narcissistic abuse the family and friends sometimes never see it because they outwardly seem lovely. It's only when they are alone with you their demeanour changes.
To be fair, she did warn her before dating him. Yeah she didn't know he would physically abuse her but if the relative is warning you before the relationship starts then you LISTEN. Never ignore the red flags that are given to you, even he was being honest that he wasn't the relationship type!! LISTEN AND RUN
@@marysullivan5509pretty sure she's saying the wife didn't know the husband killed hisnown brother until after the wedding. Nit his iwn sister not knowing her own brother killed their brother. The fact that you purposely read that incorrectly says more about your ability to connect and communicate.
Ryle could've shot the brother - not by accident - like no one was prob around to know ! that would borderline psychosis, which has happened in real life scenario. Did the book indicate or insinuate anything i wonder? if he was innocent as a child, it must be a very difficult load to carry for the rest of his life. Will need hypnotherapy!
I haven’t read the book and I don’t make plans on reading the book because of how it almost seems to approve of the relationship vile and Lily have and how so many people supported Ryle and thought Lily should forgive him when he was a red flag from the very start But what I did hear was that it was even more traumatizing for Ryle in the book because he tried to “fix him. “ as in he tried to put the stuff back in Emerson‘s head. Yes, it obviously had to have been very traumatizing for him, but no matter what happened or what Lily did or didn’t do. Nothing gave him the right to hit her in any circumstance, no justification or excuses. and Ryle claims that he’s been in therapy since then, but therapy doesn’t work for everyone. I’m not victim blaming Lily as well because when you’re in that situation, you obviously may not know whatever to do and it can be scary, especially the kind of person you’re with. But what I will say is we have to see the red flags, the bad tempers, mean comments, and all the rest, we have to see the signs for what they are and read between the lines. You always have the option to leave. Never let your abuser think that you are alone or that you have no one or nowhere to go.
Forgiving isn't forgetting. You can forgive a person without forgiving what they did to you. Forgiveness is part of the victim's healing process for themselves. You don't do it for the abuser. You do it for yourself.
Her brother was abusing her and it makes sense why she said what she said. While yes we would love for our family to do better and for people to forgive them we also have to realize that isn't the case all the time and it's not possible all the time. But she's saying forget that he's her brother she's her best friend and if she takes him back she won't speak to her anymore and it's understandable
@@emmavink You are absolutely right, thanks for your comment. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "Hate is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"
I remembered read the book and loved Ryle for the first half of the book (thought he was very sweet and adorable and lovely and kind). But the 2nd half; after marriage... I cursed him while reading under my breath. He was far far far from perfect, yes. But he was a walking red flag🚩
This is so romanticised and so far from the truth it's sickening. In the real world, the family of the abuser enables and even encourages the abuser in their abusive behaviours and they all bully and continue to abuse the victim. This scene makes me want to 🤮🤢 because this is far from how it plays out in real life. Please please if you are being abused, the last people you want to trust is the family of your abuser. They will always defend and stick up for their abusive family member
I would agree that this is not the statistical norm. But I wouldn't say it never happens. I was in a toxic and abusive relationship as a teen and his brother told me to leave after seeing him mistreat me. It depends on the individual situation. Not all families of abusers are the same.
If my brother abuses his girl, I will tell her to run. I'm sorry your experience was not the same but trust me there are people who will never support abusers even if they are family.
This isn't realistic because why would you're wife not know about what happened to Emerson? They brought the situation up long ago when they were out together but they still never talked about it lol. Super unrealistic that she never once asked him exactly how his brother died
@@NightLight99999you’d be surprised what people don’t ask before they’re married. Lilly comes from an abusive home life, she was constantly apologizing and walking on eggshells, she didn’t want to make him angry. Just the mention of his brother caused him visible turmoil, she wasn’t going to chance it by asking more questions.
@@annishka515- You may have been wise, but you were also lucky, thus far. I am married, been married for 18 years, but it hasn’t been easy. Some good men come back from war with PTSD, sometimes bipolar or other form of mental illness pops up later in life. Sometimes pain changes people. It isn’t just about being raised right or choosing right. People CAN change, and unfortunately it is not always for the better. Having a happy marriage is just another kind of “privilege” and it is very easy to assume that we earned all our privileges, through always making the right choices. We assume we are healthy because we eat right and exercise, unaware that we are only one accident or mysterious illness away from being permanently disabled. We choose a “good neighborhood” to live, unaware that a single recession could change everything. We pick a kind spouse who loves us only to have life twist warp and break them into someone we don’t recognize. I am glad you have a “good” husband, and no doubt a lot of that is your “good” instincts, and more than that, hard work on both of your parts. Just be careful of looking down your nose at others, and deciding they are wholly responsible because they made “bad” choices. There is no rule book. Be careful because when life gets hard as it eventually does for everyone that same feeling of pride you have can turn against you, make you feel wholly responsible for whatever crisis you are in. We always have some responsibility, but we have to be aware that sometimes life changes things in ways you cannot predict or prepare for. All that said I am happy you have been so fortunate, that you have been wise, and I hope that none of the terrible things others have gone through ever happens to you. I hope your life remains forever crisis free, or at least crisis easily weathered. And I hope you can be supportive instead of judgemental when life doesn’t work as planned for others around you.
If anyone tells you to leave their sibling, it’s really saying a lot
realzing how toxic a sibling is one of the hardest things ive ever had to do
Girls never listen to sisters! No matter how much we beg them!
I tried to leave my abusive ex four times and went back each time. Trying to fix it, fix us, work it out etc. It was not until his own mother sat me down and told me i needed to leave him for my own safety did I officially never go back. Her eldest son. His twin brother had also encouraged me but he was closer with his brother so he wasn’t as blatant, but his mom (who he was close to as well) was very clear. She helped me get out, get a restraining order against HER baby and backed me up in court because she knew I had no family or support other than his family due to how isolated I’d become. He took it out on her and she never wavered because her husband had done the same thing. She saw that in him and I can honestly say if it hadn’t been for her, I don’t think i would have had the strength to leave
@@sarvolkskayavery sorry you had to deal with all that
How about a mom telling her daughter in law to run...yes how about that?
This is, hand down, the best acted and scene of the entire movie. This is what true friendship and unwavering support should look like.
I like this scene. She’s a true friend to Lily.
Sadly, this isn't how these conversations go in real life. Majority of the time people stand up for the abuser and get very defensive. They are in a state of denial for a while unless they've seen it. Even still they deny due to the shame or the love bombing they experience. Look at narcissistic abuse the family and friends sometimes never see it because they outwardly seem lovely. It's only when they are alone with you their demeanour changes.
We all need a friend like her in our life
She did so good with this role
Incredible acting!
this was such a good movie, I loved Atlas, and I love how she stopped the cycle with her daughter
To be fair, she did warn her before dating him. Yeah she didn't know he would physically abuse her but if the relative is warning you before the relationship starts then you LISTEN. Never ignore the red flags that are given to you, even he was being honest that he wasn't the relationship type!! LISTEN AND RUN
The best scene of the movie
Jenny slate...she's also a comedian!
Mona Lisa: I never thought he was capable of this...
Jean-Ralphio: yeeaah...it turns out he's THE WOOOORRRST!!!!🤪🤪🤪
🤣
Wait, she didn’t know what happened to the brother until after they were married?
Yeah, weird. Red flag...
No she didn't know her brother was an abuser until after they were married. She always knew what happened to the little brother
@@marysullivan5509pretty sure she's saying the wife didn't know the husband killed hisnown brother until after the wedding. Nit his iwn sister not knowing her own brother killed their brother.
The fact that you purposely read that incorrectly says more about your ability to connect and communicate.
@@marysullivan5509she meant if the girl didn't know what happened to the friend's brother before they were married
She never knew until after they got married lily always kept it a secret
BUT HER HAIR LOOKS GOOD THO, RIGHT?
I'm afraid the friend stole the whole acting and this scene proves it.
Ryle could've shot the brother - not by accident - like no one was prob around to know ! that would borderline psychosis, which has happened in real life scenario. Did the book indicate or insinuate anything i wonder? if he was innocent as a child, it must be a very difficult load to carry for the rest of his life. Will need hypnotherapy!
Nuh uh
Oh stop.
I haven’t read the book and I don’t make plans on reading the book because of how it almost seems to approve of the relationship vile and Lily have and how so many people supported Ryle and thought Lily should forgive him when he was a red flag from the very start
But what I did hear was that it was even more traumatizing for Ryle in the book because he tried to “fix him. “ as in he tried to put the stuff back in Emerson‘s head.
Yes, it obviously had to have been very traumatizing for him, but no matter what happened or what Lily did or didn’t do. Nothing gave him the right to hit her in any circumstance, no justification or excuses. and Ryle claims that he’s been in therapy since then, but therapy doesn’t work for everyone.
I’m not victim blaming Lily as well because when you’re in that situation, you obviously may not know whatever to do and it can be scary, especially the kind of person you’re with. But what I will say is we have to see the red flags, the bad tempers, mean comments, and all the rest, we have to see the signs for what they are and read between the lines.
You always have the option to leave. Never let your abuser think that you are alone or that you have no one or nowhere to go.
AS A SISTER?! TO FORGIVE BEATING HER?! BUT AS A BEST FRIEND, SHE WONT SPEAKE TO HER AGAIN?! what did her "brother" do to her?
Forgiving isn't forgetting. You can forgive a person without forgiving what they did to you.
Forgiveness is part of the victim's healing process for themselves. You don't do it for the abuser. You do it for yourself.
@@emmavink true true
Her brother was abusing her and it makes sense why she said what she said. While yes we would love for our family to do better and for people to forgive them we also have to realize that isn't the case all the time and it's not possible all the time. But she's saying forget that he's her brother she's her best friend and if she takes him back she won't speak to her anymore and it's understandable
@@emmavink You are absolutely right, thanks for your comment. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "Hate is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"
Hey! It’s Talie Shifrin!
wheres jon ralphio
I remembered read the book and loved Ryle for the first half of the book (thought he was very sweet and adorable and lovely and kind). But the 2nd half; after marriage... I cursed him while reading under my breath. He was far far far from perfect, yes. But he was a walking red flag🚩
This is so romanticised and so far from the truth it's sickening. In the real world, the family of the abuser enables and even encourages the abuser in their abusive behaviours and they all bully and continue to abuse the victim. This scene makes me want to 🤮🤢 because this is far from how it plays out in real life. Please please if you are being abused, the last people you want to trust is the family of your abuser. They will always defend and stick up for their abusive family member
Don’t tell people what to do… every case is individual
I told my brother's girlfriend to run. Get away and stay away. She didn't listen but eventually got out on her own.
I would agree that this is not the statistical norm. But I wouldn't say it never happens. I was in a toxic and abusive relationship as a teen and his brother told me to leave after seeing him mistreat me. It depends on the individual situation. Not all families of abusers are the same.
No, we won’t. I had this conversation with my brothers ex partner.
If my brother abuses his girl, I will tell her to run. I'm sorry your experience was not the same but trust me there are people who will never support abusers even if they are family.
BUT Blake Lively's hair LOOKS GOOD, you guys
PUT HER IN JAIL
Why?
Ryle was supposed to be Lily’s future but turns out it was all a trap
Im the one that will say the girl with the green dress looks like puppet Helen hunt from team American.
The only realistic scene in the movie.
Not at all...
This isn't realistic because why would you're wife not know about what happened to Emerson? They brought the situation up long ago when they were out together but they still never talked about it lol. Super unrealistic that she never once asked him exactly how his brother died
@@NightLight99999you’d be surprised what people don’t ask before they’re married. Lilly comes from an abusive home life, she was constantly apologizing and walking on eggshells, she didn’t want to make him angry. Just the mention of his brother caused him visible turmoil, she wasn’t going to chance it by asking more questions.
Why does the girl in green looks so familiar where is she from
Alvin and the chipmunks (shipwreck)
shes that teacher from the gifted movie
@@gracee_lee omg yeah, that’s why
She is Blake Lively. Married to Ryan Reynolds. Was in The Age of Adeline, as well as The Green Lantern, etc.
Saturday Night Live
All the single ladies
All the single ladies
How about all the married ladies who know how to pick quality men. Like me. They are out there
@@annishka515- You may have been wise, but you were also lucky, thus far. I am married, been married for 18 years, but it hasn’t been easy. Some good men come back from war with PTSD, sometimes bipolar or other form of mental illness pops up later in life. Sometimes pain changes people. It isn’t just about being raised right or choosing right. People CAN change, and unfortunately it is not always for the better. Having a happy marriage is just another kind of “privilege” and it is very easy to assume that we earned all our privileges, through always making the right choices. We assume we are healthy because we eat right and exercise, unaware that we are only one accident or mysterious illness away from being permanently disabled. We choose a “good neighborhood” to live, unaware that a single recession could change everything. We pick a kind spouse who loves us only to have life twist warp and break them into someone we don’t recognize. I am glad you have a “good” husband, and no doubt a lot of that is your “good” instincts, and more than that, hard work on both of your parts. Just be careful of looking down your nose at others, and deciding they are wholly responsible because they made “bad” choices. There is no rule book. Be careful because when life gets hard as it eventually does for everyone that same feeling of pride you have can turn against you, make you feel wholly responsible for whatever crisis you are in. We always have some responsibility, but we have to be aware that sometimes life changes things in ways you cannot predict or prepare for. All that said I am happy you have been so fortunate, that you have been wise, and I hope that none of the terrible things others have gone through ever happens to you. I hope your life remains forever crisis free, or at least crisis easily weathered. And I hope you can be supportive instead of judgemental when life doesn’t work as planned for others around you.
@@annishka515 ?
@@AllisonLinner I was responding to someone else. Women are in relationships they chose to be in.
Blake Lively just ruins this movie for me ,I hate everything about her
Get over yourself. Grow the fk up. You don't like her? Don't watch it. No one needs your mean-spiritedness.
She produced it
Fake
Oh please!!! Unrealistic and out of touch!
I'm the second
I’m the third
I’m the first
Coo
Ugh, what a waste of time. This movie sucked so much!