INTP personal growth: Dark ESFJ side

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  • Опубликовано: 4 дек 2024

Комментарии • 154

  • @Enedrapvp
    @Enedrapvp 9 лет назад +75

    INTP here,
    Being extroverted is not necessarily difficult for most INTPs, truth is more important than underlying feelings or emotions. Hence, why INTPs aren't known to express their feelings and emotions. I'm never surprised with responses people give me, but I ignore (because I find it pointless) their emotional response.
    Even in serious relationships, I find it easier to express love rather than say it, and when dating ENTJs, they tend to understand me. I find it a waste of time to explain to people how I feel, when it is obvious to me how they feel. As if I can read and understand people better, even though its probably that I care more about large principles (like mankind's future) rather than simple yet difficult personal topics like family death.
    The main role I see misunderstood INTPs relationships. They are actually some of the most caring and selfless of people, but more practically instead of personally. INTPs find questions like "does this dress make me look fat?" to inherently have an answer, and "demands" an emotional response. INTPs are very loyal unlike most personality types.
    They don't try to "push things" on to people, but that is merely the response that people who primarily live externally will come to. I get very upset at ESFJ types that disagree with me on moral, ethical, religious, or political values because typically they tend not to fully understand topics as rationally and focus more on equity/equality instead of efficiency.
    Sorry for the wall of text, apparently INTPs have an obsession with making people understand them, most of my comments are 70 lines (+ I'm a perfectionist).

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +7

      Nytza If you go to Jung's original texts he literally wrote that INTPs and ISTPs are the most pleasant people to live with. They also have to be careful not to be abused, because they can go out of the way to help others (often with a technical issue) and actually get manipulated. When I say "push things" I really meant if the INTP accessed their shadow ESFJ side. Usually, INTPs are not pushy. Like INFPs, they feel like they have little control over the external environment.

    • @CajunCoder
      @CajunCoder 9 лет назад +8

      Greetings! Another INTP here.
      I identify with all of your observations, as well as Type Tip's -- except for the relationship stuff. I have no experience in that area, unfortunately.
      My biggest social frustration is simply being misjudged in what sometimes strike me as odd and unexpected ways by people. They sometimes come to strange conclusions. For example, when my motives for something are altruistic, I'm sometimes treated with skepticism, as if I must certainly have some "hidden personal agenda" which I'm not being upfront about. I'm also taken to be, especially by women, "not comfortable in my own skin," or even "insecure" -- which is something I don't quite understand to be honest. While I can be a little self-conscious, it's rare that I feel insecure. It's probably merely a product of being out of my element, in which case I'm just a bit awkward more so than insecure or what have you. I think my propensity to try to be open minded and reserve judgement also leads to this perception, as "confidence" is seen by many as being evidenced by external judgment.
      People seem to place such a high value on that definition of "confidence," which is largely meaningless in and of itself. Any "confidence" that I have, I would rather be a product of a humble demeanor and simply recognizing that life happens and that I know who I am and needn't worry about what I can, or can't fix. I guess that attitude isn't readily perceptible, but then, I guess there's no sense worrying about that, right? ;)
      Despite all that, however, when I'm in my element and able to relate to someone, I find that I can carry on a good conversation and be quite friendly and comfortable even with complete strangers, and after working with the general public for a year now, I'm finding myself more personable and natural in more situations.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +1

      ***** That is good news to hear at the end. I'm glad you prefer honesty over shallowness, I am sure you can find people who are honest too and not look for surface appearances.

    • @CajunCoder
      @CajunCoder 9 лет назад +1

      I'm sure I can! I hope my post did not sound too negative. I'm overall pretty content in life and thankful of what I have. I was just observing a few frustrating tendencies that I was curious if other INTPs tend to experience.
      The great thing about Jungs psychology is that it can be an insightful tool to help one appreciate and understand people. I believe there's something to be appreciated and learned from in anyone, so I try not to label people as "shallow" or "superficial" among other things.

    • @rickythinking_again1973
      @rickythinking_again1973 6 лет назад

      I do the same walls. My coworkers coined the term ‘RickyNovels’ 😄

  • @ElcsieRetakov
    @ElcsieRetakov 9 лет назад +61

    My difficulty shows itself as anxiety and problems with concentration. I love listening to people but can't express or feel awkward in situations that seem easy to others. Confidence is a real struggle. When I do feel good, I have to make sure I don't hog the conversation or ignore my surroundings.
    Sometimes can't turn my thoughts off. Then people around ask why I am so lazy and I think... no, I am just exhausted from trying to solve all the problems.

    • @meganwike2407
      @meganwike2407 9 лет назад +4

      That's me in a nutshell.

    • @colonelweird
      @colonelweird 8 лет назад

      +ElcsieRetakov That sounds a lot like me when I was younger (I'm 51 now and also INTP). For me, a lot of these problems have faded as I get older. I think it's because I came to understand better what it means to be INTP. Indeed, when I was younger I was so alienated from myself I thought I was INFJ, so discovering the truth was a revelation. But having confidence in my identity; knowing my limitations and skills; knowing that other people will almost never understand what I try to explain; and therefore rarely even trying to explain; and learning to just not give a fuck what other people think of me, as often as possible -- all that has made life much easier. But it's taken me a long, long time to get to this point. Good luck to you!

    • @idontcaretbh2999
      @idontcaretbh2999 8 лет назад +1

      I feel understood

    • @daherleonardi
      @daherleonardi 5 лет назад

      There is an 5th personality trait not covered by mbti in general that is called "Neuroticism" it doesn't seem to interact with anything like socionics for example but it is the trait for anxiety, tendency for angryness etc.. That's why you'll see either totally shy anxious INTP's and assertive, calm to a fault INTP's.

  • @CherryzB
    @CherryzB 9 лет назад +43

    I dislike when others dismiss social niceties because I feel that they are necessary for a smooth interaction. A smooth interaction is necessary for proper communication. Proper communication is necessary for one to achieve their goals. So... social niceties are necessary for one to achieve their goal. And it just baffles me when an individual, for no apparent reason, does something so counterproductive as being rude.

    • @crups1237
      @crups1237 7 лет назад +1

      People are boring. And if I have no interest in being with them I'll be rude. UNLESS, It's someone who I have to get to know if I want to get something done, in which they somehow hold some specific responsibility for. However, if this is not necessary, then I don't want anything to do with that person.

    • @caffe1n8ed
      @caffe1n8ed 6 лет назад +5

      I think you still need some growing up

    • @popLevosh
      @popLevosh 5 лет назад +1

      I just find them obsolete in a world with social media. A handshake for a man who likely was up all night tallying his wacker on Facebook looking at scantily clad minors is no longer okay with me. Thank you.

    • @lravenhill
      @lravenhill 5 лет назад +1

      my parents actually took me to shrrink when i was 16 cause i wouldnt even say hi to them. when a friend would show up they would go around the group and shake peoples hands and my friends would announce yea josh doesnt do handshakes. ive gottin better cause i realise i come off as a weirdo and people hate me off the bat untill they realise im amazing lol. i still have a deep burning hatred for when someone sneezes and people say god bless you

    • @reizer05
      @reizer05 4 года назад

      @@crups1237 you're an intj

  • @sosinati3358
    @sosinati3358 Год назад +1

    Thanks for keeping the channel alive

  • @dasiavou
    @dasiavou 9 лет назад +20

    My mom used to say that my younger sister was born to balance me out, as she was my complete opposite from the day she was born. It turns out I'm an INTP, and she is an ESFJ. Our academic strengths always complemented each other. You could practically fit our report cards together like puzzle pieces. She always frustrated me, because she was brilliant with numbers, but she had no interest in science, whereas I loved science but had trouble using it practically, due to my incompetence with graphs and equations (pretty sure undiagnosed ADHD was part of this. I made a lot of simple mistakes due to inattention). She would fill out logic puzzle books, but she'd ask for my help if it involved words. This dynamic may did atypical of our types, but she was just extraordinarily good at music, math, and puzzles, and I was good at language games, acting, and art. The courses of our lives are a lot more typical, however. She is younger, but married and has a very active social life, and I am single and still figuring out what to do with my life. She is focused, and I am constantly experimenting with thoughts and unfinished projects. I do, however, think that growing up together did help us both to become a little more balanced than we would have been.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +3

      +Asia Sanchez This was a real good read, I love hearing about personal experiences. It is good to hear about the variety between you, whether type typical or atypical.

    • @dasiavou
      @dasiavou 9 лет назад +3

      +Type Tips Thanks! Another thing I noticed in high school: I took advanced math and science classes just to see how far I could go, even though I knew I would struggle. I barely passed those classes, but a couple things I observed are that 1) I had a much easier time with Calculus than with Trigonometry. 2) I did really well with the periodic table, molecular reactions, and DNA, but my grades would plummet when we got to equations that used things like avogadro's (sp?) number and actual measurements.

    • @ElcsieRetakov
      @ElcsieRetakov 9 лет назад +1

      I have a brother who is younger and tested as an ESFJ. Similar, we would brain storm new things or stories as kids. He is better at expression and makes friends easier. We got along but when we fought he would verbally tease, and I couldn't find a response quick enough; so I would hit.

    • @smartcatcollarproject5699
      @smartcatcollarproject5699 7 лет назад

      I wonder if this difficulty to find (to choose ?) your path in life is typical of INTP's ? I have the same issue, many interests, but after 2-3 years I usually find the limits or my limits, and look for something else.
      Funny to see I had the exact opposite tastes or gifts in sciences... trigo was "natural", calculus boring, didn't like periodic table at all, failed at the uni because of biochemistry, but had some brilliant results in genetics - diagnostics, Avogadro and real life measurements a bit laborious, but I really like it when theory and a verifiable reality are linked !

    • @GGirl-ww4uj
      @GGirl-ww4uj 6 лет назад +1

      @@smartcatcollarproject5699 Im an esfj with a 4.0 GPA college graduate.. that said cuz i am still struggling to find my path.? However, i have been mentally abused my entire life from my NARCISSISTIC MOTHER who's life goal is to destroy any sense if purpose i may find in life as well as character assassinate me to all. . My mind has been negatively programmed my life to think im unable to succeed in all while she rubs in and reminds me what a piece of shit I of COURSE am, but, my brother is the most perfect person to walk the face of the earth ! Not his fault.... you can guess he has tge wealthy & healthy life and mental confidence to know & allowed to strive from the safe supportive encouragement and loved without the mental abuse and covert Narcissitic brainwashing i get to suffer alone through. Interested to know What MBTI the narsissttic, psychopaths, sociopaths and cluster B personalities typically test out as?

  • @jrantorsvik725
    @jrantorsvik725 7 лет назад +8

    I'm an INTP and this video is eye opening to me, as I had this strange experience of looking up to a girl I knew, who happens to be an ESFJ, and wanting to "be" her in a sense or atleast have some of her qualities

  • @Strength_In_Wisdom
    @Strength_In_Wisdom 5 лет назад +20

    I'm my moms dark side. Imagine how it was growing up 😂😂 I'm INTP. I love my mom but it was weird growing up lol

    • @traxexundead764
      @traxexundead764 4 года назад

      Hows your personality

    • @reizer05
      @reizer05 4 года назад

      Are you sure you're intp? Because INTP don't notice how weird they're, they think they're like the typical person around but they also think people don't understand them and they're stupid. You might be INTJ

  • @CherryzB
    @CherryzB 9 лет назад +12

    I've never known an INTP to accidentally embarrass another person by pointing out something they've done wrong in a social situation. Something that I have seen often, and something that I have done myself, is to pretend like I am saying something innocently while actually meaning to put that person on the spot. I do it because there are certain behaviors that I just can't tolerate, mainly those that make it more difficult to understand or communicate what is real.
    If someone is being casually misleading with their mannerisms, I'm going to point that out so that I can determine who they really are. We don't say something without a purpose and a person's behavioral characteristics and their intent behind them is just another system that I need to understand in order to see reality the way that it is.
    Essentially, what I am saying is that, If I ever take the effort to point out another's fopaux, it is because I think that it is essential for maintaining sincerity.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +4

      +CherryzLove From my observation I seen some INTPs can critical over little social blunders of others. I do agree with you that social niceties are important.

    • @jinglelam3602
      @jinglelam3602 8 лет назад

      CherryzLove You probably are Intp but have you ever considered infj?

  • @thereisnospoon9059
    @thereisnospoon9059 9 лет назад +7

    I was beginning to question whether I really am an INTP and the MBTI system itself because I seemed to have certain traits that other INTPs don't have, but you explained it and now I understand that they are my shadow functions surfacing in a bad way, forcing my opinions onto others. Thanks it helps a lot.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +1

      +There is no spoon (Ze Engineer) Thanks for sharing what you learned. Makes me feel there is something worthwhile to what I post.

    • @theprimalfuckhead526
      @theprimalfuckhead526 9 лет назад +1

      +Type Tips Not to make you look shoe on head, but ENTJ is the shadow of the INTP. ESFJ is dual it has the same functions backwards. Shadows have the same functions with with opposite attitudes. Hence INTP(TiNeSiFe) has a TeNiSeFi shadow

  • @LexaLite
    @LexaLite 6 лет назад +2

    I think you did a solid job explaining these INTP shadow aspects. I often see what you describe in myself as I get older and want to integrate my Extroverted Feeling more, but fear in practice that it does not always go over the way I intended.
    Also as an INTP sometimes by the time we have developed Fe later in our lives, we have a Si backlog of experiences which can subconsciously trigger us into being wary of particular harmony dynamics. Because these are our lower functions our most natural way to engage with them is through Ti. As Introverted thinking steps in to try and make sense of the memory (Si) and harmony (Fe) dynamic and it externally can come across as you said, pedantic.
    It can really help INTPs to learn how to put words to the feelings of our lower functions, so that way instead of the shadow ESFJ coming out we can be more authentic expressing our intentions with others.

  • @AllenLinnenJr
    @AllenLinnenJr 7 лет назад +4

    Pedantry doesn't make the world a worse place. Charming lies to connive social approval and status, however, does.

  • @elsagrace3893
    @elsagrace3893 9 лет назад +43

    INTPs are the most objective of all the types. It's very hard to deal with other types who are stuck in their subjective feelings, getting in the way of progress, learning and seeing the big picture.

    • @thereisnospoon9059
      @thereisnospoon9059 9 лет назад +9

      +Lovely Lunar Yeah it does. Sure you can and do get stupid INTPs and INTJs etc. because they are underdeveloped and childish. But being a T type, especially INT, means that they are going to spend more time on thinking, that they will focus more on logic and on facts than on feelings, which inevitably makes them naturally more intelligent. The more you do something the better you get.

    • @thereisnospoon9059
      @thereisnospoon9059 9 лет назад +5

      +Lovely Lunar You are the one calling INTPs master race, not +elsa Grace. They are probably one of the most objective types, but objectiveness is not more important than subjectiveness, they are both important and have different uses. This is your problem alone, you might subconsciously believe that subjectiveness is inferior.

    • @Galdring
      @Galdring 8 лет назад +1

      +Lovely Lunar Type is definitely related to intelligence, but I agree... If INTPs were the master race, evolution would have brought forth more of us.

    • @siyrvan1
      @siyrvan1 8 лет назад +1

      +elsa Grace As an INTP I appreciate your kindness but I think you're totally wrong, we're actually the most subjective type there is and we think being objective is really stupid and irrational, cause your senses can easily deceive you.

    • @JHruweTV
      @JHruweTV 8 лет назад +1

      Old Diary In certain ways, yes. There is objective logic, though.

  • @kshitijagrawal7984
    @kshitijagrawal7984 9 лет назад +3

    I agree with most of the things that INTP fall prey to observing others behaviour, but they observe behaviour in a deeper, mental level, trying to understand how the other person thinks not how the person is dressing up or something else, I discuss things like these usually with my ESFJ friend, ( Well my ESFJ friend, on many occasion makes comment on how someone is not socially graceful, he comments on me many times on my habits, or appearance, but being an INTP i don't give a shit what one thinks of my appearance and he has accepted that fact).
    I agree that we have a sense of duty in us somewhere, which comes out occasionally.
    I also agree that we can be very pushy when we want other people to take interest in our debates, this thing we can develop of having extroverted feeling, and as it is not our strength we end up irritating people and disappointing ourselves and it also feels like we have become this different self from what we were
    Also i admire SFs a lot, some of my closest friends are ISFJs and if you are able to connect a bond with ISFJ it is for life.
    I really admire SFs attitude to stand up for their friends and take care of their friends, especially ISFJs, ISFJs won't be able to understand you completely in the beginning but once they understand you they will love to have deep meaningful discussions with you and will always take care of you or worry about you . Same goes with ESFJs, though they don't care so much as compared to ISFJ. And ESFJs as well, if they are interested can have long heated and conclusive debates on various topics which INTPs love.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад

      +kshitij agrawal It's good to hear of your relationship with SFJs, thanks for sharing. I would say it is a potential for some INTPs to care about dress or very specific etiquette that is being crossed by others, it is a projection of a shadow ESFJ, and its fine every type has a shadow and can fall prey to some odd quirks of their opposite type. But it is not true of an average healthy version of a type.

  • @olitomar
    @olitomar 3 года назад +1

    I'm an eerily well adapted intp in social situations. People see this as a strength, but I've only developed that ability due to overcompensation. I'm really socially awkward and have recently realized that it's a main source of stress for me. Thanks for this video

  • @merlinadenise8195
    @merlinadenise8195 3 года назад +1

    This is what I always thought about my sister intp, I'm an infp as well but I have so much empathy for her through she always treats me bad and hurt my feelings multiple times. It hurts me the most cause she's my menor sister. Thank you :]

  • @rk3273
    @rk3273 8 лет назад +5

    INTP female here with an ESFJ male coworker. I can totally relate to what you said about ESFJs commenting on people. It has come to a point where I can't tolerate him any more lol. My anxiety levels have also shot back up after starting to work with this guy . I am not sure how to help myself.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  8 лет назад +1

      +RK how does he trigger you, and how do you internally/externally respond?

    • @rk3273
      @rk3273 8 лет назад

      He comments on everyone including me and its a scary situation at work as people will look for faults and I could lose my job. I guess I didnt realize his personality when I first met him. I have now gone back into my shell and don't really engage in any conversation with him especially if it involves talking about people.

    • @colonelweird
      @colonelweird 8 лет назад

      +RK Sounds like your coworker's problem isn't his type, it's his belief that he has the right to judge everyone around him. Perhaps you're minimizing the problem by attributing it to personality type. If this guy is really as hostile as you imply, maybe you should take the problem to HR or your boss.

    • @markllewellyn5192
      @markllewellyn5192 8 лет назад +1

      INTP male here, my mother is an ESFJ... i cannot stand her

  • @IdowuEsther
    @IdowuEsther 4 года назад +5

    I feel like INFP are the only ones that should be allowed to comment on INTPs.

  • @AtticusStount
    @AtticusStount 8 лет назад +6

    More gold from you, Leon.

  • @coconutmilch2351
    @coconutmilch2351 5 лет назад +1

    the way you pronounce "compass" is great and im stealin it

  • @smartcatcollarproject5699
    @smartcatcollarproject5699 7 лет назад +15

    Ever witnessed weird or even angry reactions when you express your dual/shadow personalities ? Some people are happy to see you less introvert, but I often get what I interpret as angry looks, disapprobation or jealousy, with some people, who apparently would like to see me back into introvert mode. How to handle that ? I often judge them as negative, control freaks, and it encourages me to distance myself from them or reinforce my boundaries if I can't go away, but maybe there is another reason behind their reaction ?

    • @iiillLIliii
      @iiillLIliii 6 лет назад +1

      Same...

    • @happyemoji6553
      @happyemoji6553 6 лет назад

      Smart Cat Collar Project They’re just jealous of you so treat them as you’d treat your enemies. Watch your back and be so bold, loud and smiley when you’re talking to other people in front of them. With your intelligence/brain, you can play them the way you want and disappoint them as much as you want. I’m an intp and I face the same things with some people at work. They’re mainly ES types and I know how to keep them in the box I wanna them to be in. Just be so confident and act all happy (even if you don’t have a good day) with others when they’re around and since you’re already intelligent, you can be you and you can be their worst nightmare at the same time.

    • @teefpowder9770
      @teefpowder9770 5 лет назад

      It's because your pretending to be someone your not, and people aren't good at being what they aren't.

  • @soaringeagle95
    @soaringeagle95 6 лет назад +3

    What i find having researched, studied ppl and etc so on is that: My true shadow is INFP , the only time i got stressed to the point that my personality quit on me for a day i turned into an INTJ. That said, my functions are that strong that one of them is bound to remain and i vibe with that personality completely. (ESFJ here btw, i don disagree with the video but wanted to add comment to it ). By shadow it is my introverted side, the shadow that always remains, (it has show up and been percieved by many who dont know me and see me or meet me initially, as i am a wallflower) Just thought id shine light being im very unique even to ESFJ's. feel free to comment :)

  • @yelenayashchenko6194
    @yelenayashchenko6194 5 лет назад

    Good advice to try to appropriately inform people on how to’s without being pedantic. I love your concise and educational videos

  • @Strength_In_Wisdom
    @Strength_In_Wisdom 5 лет назад

    Wow this is spot on. My mom and dad are both esfj and infj and they tend to comment on others appropriation a lot.

  • @Sumabus
    @Sumabus 9 лет назад +8

    INTP here. Found this interesting.

  • @borderedge6465
    @borderedge6465 Год назад

    INTP here. This was good, thank you

  • @bayleykoopman5580
    @bayleykoopman5580 8 лет назад +7

    My best friend actually happens to be an ESFJ. Neither of us actually know how we get along so well...

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  8 лет назад +3

      +Bayley Koopman You both are "duals" in Socionics. Share the same functions :)

  • @Alex-oy2tq
    @Alex-oy2tq 6 лет назад

    Thank you for the insightful video. I needed this!

  • @willzer808
    @willzer808 8 лет назад +2

    Thanks for this Leon

  • @천국백성이하은
    @천국백성이하은 8 лет назад +1

    Lol.. Reminds me of how I recently commented on my mom(infp) not being social. Her not answering people properly and staying inside her nutshell really annoyed me somehow.

  • @tylerlivendale
    @tylerlivendale 7 лет назад +2

    Good video, I dated an ESFJ( I'm an INTP) for seven years, this would have been helpful lol.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  7 лет назад +2

      Hi John, thanks for the compliment. What do you see are the pros and cons of such a relationship, if I may ask? Thanks!

  • @cindylai3387
    @cindylai3387 9 лет назад

    Hi Leon. ur video is inspiring n easy to understand. Hope to c more videos fr u to help us expand our understanding. I am intp I think. appreciate if u cn provide more information on my type as well. Thanks.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +1

      +Cindy Lai I have a ton of videos on INTPs and plan to make more! Stay tuned!

  • @johnyaiden7609
    @johnyaiden7609 6 лет назад

    Extremely insightful.

  • @Tyippe99
    @Tyippe99 8 лет назад +2

    SENPAI PLEASE SHOW ME 'THE RIGHT WAY' !!!!!!!!

  • @pohkeee
    @pohkeee 5 лет назад

    ...because once you understand the best way for the social structure functions most efficiently and keeps the collective humming along, we all can get on with what the actual function and goal of the organization. It’s more about system analysis...even though in this case it’s the human social system.

  • @tasnimal-qabbani2908
    @tasnimal-qabbani2908 9 лет назад +2

    hi, when I was younger, like at eleven, the very first time I did a myers briggs test, I scored INTP every time.
    Now however, I always score ESFJ.. I also seem to grow into the ESFJ more as the years pass.
    for example; I always wanted to be a professor(teaching in a college) and now I want to be a dentist(surgeon)!
    haha just saying.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +2

      maxillo facial There is brain research to suggest we become more like our opposite type as we develop. We start to have the same brain patterns as them.

    • @tasnimal-qabbani2908
      @tasnimal-qabbani2908 9 лет назад +1

      Type Tips haha thanks for your reply, im not sure about mbti or how accurate my typing is to myself, considering I WANT to be an ESFJ, as a women, I put an effort into being one, and so I guess this is why many mothers develop this way..

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +4

      I see, I see, we all want to be our opposite. Brain research also suggests that female thinker types have greater development than the males because they need to deal with a feeling environment. So areas that have to do with social feedback light up more.

  • @CherryzB
    @CherryzB 9 лет назад +8

    I was just thinking... If personal growth includes being aware of and making an effort to strengthen the aspects of our personality that are lacking, aren't we all heading towards the same goal? To be a "well rounded" individual would then mean an individual who could utilize all types of understanding and expression. We would then all be a jack of all trades... but don't they say that a jack of all trades is a master of none? I think that our learning styles are on a spectrum. If we move closer to one, we lose ground on another. If we center up, we become unspecialized. Specialization is what allows us to function as a society.
    Maybe the different types exist because we all fulfill a niche. Maybe becoming more rounded only makes us dull.
    Anyway... its just a thought.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +2

      +CherryzLove Yes that's true. I was thinking it is good to have some balance. Typically a one-dimensional person with just two functions relatively developed look kind of neurotic, and they add less value because they are kind of a rubber stamp. Usually types who develop other functions add more value, but of course you can't be everything, an INTP is not going to be an Se-dom. I find though that developing other functions can save a lot of hassle and lost of energy. For instance, if an INTP is not resistant or get tired by others' display of Te or Ni, knowing its the way they express themselves, then the INTP can preserve energy.

    • @meganwike2407
      @meganwike2407 9 лет назад +1

      No, I like this idea. Interesting point of view

  • @bafbaas1210
    @bafbaas1210 6 лет назад

    Yhea, I found out that dark side of my enfp awhile ago. A friend was sorta sad and she sorta snitched on our class. I still think she shouldn't have cause we're in college and it's just a workshop. But I was so mad I did the te slap (thinking is was standing up for myself) and told her off and she cried and ran away. We're great now, but being and estj/istj isn't the answer to solving a problem.

  • @sleekoduck
    @sleekoduck 5 лет назад

    You nailed it. 👍

  • @alistairproductions
    @alistairproductions 9 лет назад +1

    Pretty sure I've never complained about a social nicety seeing as i literally have no clue how to do it

  • @Carrotqween
    @Carrotqween 6 лет назад +2

    It genuinely offends me when people break certain norms, but it's more about intention than the act itself. For example, I knew an INFP who would ask what a person's "gimmick" was, if a friend of ours was an "iconic character," and he would say that I was a side character while he was the main character. That made me upset because it was like he didn't have any empathy, and just treated me and our friends like we were props in his personal fantasy world. I wouldn't get mad if someone just forgot to say hi to someone at a party or something benign like that, though. Fe isn't just about harmony, it's also about taking care of others and making sure they are treated respectfully because Fe users can't really control their empathy and when someone else is insulted it can feel like you personally are being wronged. I don't doubt that some Fe-users will be "bitchy" for no reason though.

  • @LethalOwl
    @LethalOwl 9 лет назад

    Insightful. Thanks.

  • @qubitz5906
    @qubitz5906 8 лет назад

    As an INTP thats never in my own head anymore I have to use my Si and I suppose my Fe to remember what it was like to be lost in thoughts, to the point the external world is ignored, and not get irritated with them (these textbook INTPs).

  • @chicagodude8888
    @chicagodude8888 2 года назад

    Some of our tendency to social judgmental comes down to insecurities. We someone behaving in a quirky, "incorrect" way and we project on how we would come off without our fe mask.

  • @ochgottnochma
    @ochgottnochma 8 лет назад +1

    8:00 In short, OCD? I know at least one INTP who has OCD and always needs to wash his hands etc.

    • @spark300c
      @spark300c 8 лет назад +1

      well that extroverted ocd. I got the introverted kind. which what si and ti does. it not as bad.

  • @neoforce0
    @neoforce0 9 лет назад +1

    actually, esfj is just dual to intp. And entj is the dark shadow for intp.

  • @TarzanHedgepeth
    @TarzanHedgepeth 2 года назад

    I’m starting to be petrified that I could be a dirty, gross INTP. I’ve tested as INFJ, was told I’m more like an ENTJ… but I can’t shake that I might be this guy. Groan. I really just want to be an ENTJ. But it doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t make myself. GROAN. Everything makes sense, and yet nothing makes sense. Stab the pen and carve it in… I wrote a song a long time ago about picking your character and just playing the game. But, it just doesn’t work like that at the deeper level. There is always the default state. I tire of living in New York with its 8 months of winter. Childhood abuse… bittersweet nostalgia. Born and raised first in Mid Tennessee. Was tormented as a child, but it was still better than upstate NY. This place represents the cold side of Hell to me. To someone where things went well, I can see how someone would enjoy the beauty. I can’t. It is constant bittersweet nostalgia. It feels like death. The way I deal with it is thinking and watching the old shows. Also, exploring every topic that exists that doesn’t also raise my blood pressure. I don’t know. Every time I try on a suit, I can act that suit pretty well. But it has no meaning to do that. In my ideal state, we’d be free to go somewhere warm. Bills paid. I could keep exploring whatever ignorance makes us think that uncertainty has to do with design rather than our own ignorance… explore the intricacies of billions of separate packets fulfilling their trajectories by potential and bumping into everything, creating the fluidity which we see at the macro level; but we can’t calculate the trajectory of every single apparent entity, so we have to produce efficient calculations based upon probabilities… but bills, and cold, and pain, and food, and chaos. Ouch. 😂 But I’m relegated to exploring through song whenever I can. Alright. Whine Tasting over. Thank you very much for entertaining me. -God only knows

  • @Tyippe99
    @Tyippe99 8 лет назад

    I'm in a new school and thats exactly happening to me rn. Im worried.

  • @jelle6420
    @jelle6420 10 месяцев назад

    Dating an ESFJ as INTP always feels like you both look up to each other as college professors...

  • @verntoews6937
    @verntoews6937 3 года назад

    Seems to me. INTP and ESFJ are one of the most common unions, as friends and marriage

  • @lepassant478
    @lepassant478 6 лет назад +1

    "Faux pas" in French is pronounced [ Fo-pa ], ignore the X and S

  • @adrianodosveras
    @adrianodosveras 5 лет назад

    Just after 10 years together my
    wife and I discover we are our "dark sides" ... cooperating would make us unbeatable... I'm the INTP...

    • @WoodRabbitTaoist
      @WoodRabbitTaoist 4 года назад

      How do you get along and interact with each other? I am in the same situation. I am an INTP and my wife is an ESFJ.

  • @laurentiutopriceanuguildwa8257
    @laurentiutopriceanuguildwa8257 3 года назад

    To be honest I'm confused some people say ENTJ are the shadow of INTP. And ESFJ what they want to become.

  • @gratefulgoddess4323
    @gratefulgoddess4323 6 лет назад

    thank you

  • @rosacutejenniely8339
    @rosacutejenniely8339 8 лет назад

    Sitting on my mother's couch on a Monday... should of gone to school today but hadn't... Sitting here eating popcorn and watching this.. wondering what the heck am I doing with my life!!??! Ahhh!! If I go hijack a car and just drive forever with no destination in mind no one will tell right? Of course not! No one freaking knows me. . .. Let's go get these systems man!!! 😱😕

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  8 лет назад +1

      +rosacute jenniely Watching my videos is a wonderful way for everyone to spend their lives, haha. :)

    • @rosacutejenniely8339
      @rosacutejenniely8339 8 лет назад

      Type Tips Yes! Much better than the stupid public school system and their drilling useless info ways.... Haha. Yea man watching vids though is a cool way to waste time. And your vids are REALLY factual and an awesome insight for a fellow INTP. 😄

  • @NoCharName
    @NoCharName 4 года назад

    I actually imposed MY idea upon my group in my senior year at university. I also hijacked the group leader role from my team member.
    Long story short, it was a shit idea and my group members suffered, me included. It was living HELL as a project that lasted approx 6 months with the same 5 faces together every fucking day. The only way I passed that unit was by sweet-talking the lecturers and bullshitting my way out.
    So, turns out when INTPs go bad, they can become The *BULLSHITTER* that they so despise.

  • @getagrip7474
    @getagrip7474 3 года назад +1

    You say to show it instead of preaching it but that makes peolpe uncomfortable as well becase u act holier than thou without actually saying anything about and sometimes you have to voice how it should be done because someone else is mistreating someone else.You can't wait for the perfect moment forever the more you wait the more mistakes people will make and with previous and future factors it will culminate into something u could have hypothetically prevented by preaching. Preaching is also a thing you do show and it is good to preach since it makes people aware and talking about what's important. It's true people can't think so far so they just get pissed off. I don't think this is an INTP being in the wrong but others.

    • @--..__
      @--..__ 2 года назад

      Exactly. INTPs don't respond to "social pressure" to confirm. Well just see you doing you and continue doing what we do, won't care unless you point out there's an issue

  • @mraafi863
    @mraafi863 5 лет назад

    I... uh, don't even know my type. Any questionaire I can answer? Too lazy to search it 😅 I'll wait.

    • @mraafi863
      @mraafi863 4 года назад

      @BTStrash 1 year later lmao

  • @12x
    @12x 9 лет назад

    Hi, good videos, I seem to be a mix of intp and intj (i'm an intp, with a hard T, but with some J), what is the opposite to INTJ, ESFP? thanks

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад

      In a way the opposite of INTJ is ESFP, if you are strictly looking at letters. It could be argued the opposite of INTJ is ESFJ. These two types have completely different world views. Do you identify more with planning the future or with building theoretical frameworks?

    • @12x
      @12x 9 лет назад

      Type Tips
      building theoretical frameworks. these days i try and make them practical though, as i found for a long time they weren't practical enough.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +1

      That would mean you are more likely to be an INTP than INTJ. INTJs love planning, INTPs love building frameworks.

    • @12x
      @12x 9 лет назад

      Type Tips yeah, i'm going to check out the intp opposite which is the ESFJ, i looked and i have some of the qualities. i looked and your twitter link isn't working by the way. i have linkedin if you don't mind me adding (i don't know if linkedin is only for people you know very well). any questions about youtube or videos, i have been using it since 2006 and given youtube much feedback.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад

      My twitter will be back eventually. You can find me on LinkedIn. I am Leon Tsao, and I have a picture of me doing a TED speech, and I am listed as a life coach.

  • @leomizaki7
    @leomizaki7 3 года назад

    Intp here

  • @BenVaserlan
    @BenVaserlan 9 лет назад

    Are you familiar with the concept of duality in socionics? On my is an interview of Dr Dario Nardi. His research revealed that mature people do become like their opposite type. The EEG activity matches. Are you on facebook? I suggest the website Wikisocion.org and to follow the work of Linda Berens, Dario Nardi, Viktor Gulenko.

    • @BenVaserlan
      @BenVaserlan 9 лет назад

      On my -> On my channel. I am a TiNe AKA LII ie Logical Intuitive Introvert.

    • @BenVaserlan
      @BenVaserlan 9 лет назад

      On my -> On my channel. I am a TiNe AKA LII ie Logical Intuitive Introvert.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +1

      Benjamin David Hi Benjamin! I saw you have an 1.5 hr long video on Dr. Nardi and Socionics, which is a must see for me. I saved it to watch later and subscribed to your channel. I am on Facebook...type in "Leon Tsao (Passionate Stoic)". I am starting to gain more knowledge about Socionics, as it especially talks about the role of the shadow functions that are not consciously validated (for the LII that is Te, Fi, Se, Ni). I find this to be an important point that cannot be denied. Unfortunately people are mistakenly perpetuating the notion that the conscious functions are the only ones that matter, but the unconscious ones can have serious effects. LII (you) and EII (me) both disintegrate towards Ni (if I got that right), though both types are typically associated with Ne. As for duality, yes I have some idea. I am not sold on the idea that opposites SHOULD seek each other as life partners, but I can see how they can, at a very theoretic level, unlock different aspects of the psyche, especially for both conscious and unconscious weak functions.

    • @BenVaserlan
      @BenVaserlan 9 лет назад

      Dario on Si types:
      Neuroscience Of Personality (available on amazon.com) page 95: "All Si types show high activity in region T5, which helps us ATTEND TO SOCIAL FEEDBACK. When we receive negative input from others such as frowns, this region evokes a feeling such as embarrassment, guilt, or shame that prompts us to adjust our behavior. THE FEEDBACK TRIGGERS THE FEELINGS, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER WE HAVE ACTUALLY ACTED INAPPROPRIATELY. The Si types are among the most responsive to these feelings."
      This makes me think the socionics definition of Si is better than the MBTI equivalent. www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Si

    • @BenVaserlan
      @BenVaserlan 9 лет назад

      BTW, The video would have been over 3 hours if my RUclips upstream wasn't overloaded by all the share-screening.

  • @BasedGodEmperorTrump
    @BasedGodEmperorTrump Год назад

    Intp shadow is entj...

  • @Baamthe25th
    @Baamthe25th 10 лет назад

    3:38 : French here, no idea what you said.

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  10 лет назад

      faux pas, is that French? Thanks for sharing my videos! :)

    • @Baamthe25th
      @Baamthe25th 10 лет назад +1

      Type Tips Yup, it mean "wrong step".

  • @wintermatherne2524
    @wintermatherne2524 6 лет назад

    I am an intp. My mother in law is an esfj. She has no interest in self improvement.

  • @westwillinglywastedentity7363
    @westwillinglywastedentity7363 6 лет назад

    My brother is an ESFJ and he is a nightmer to me an INTP

  • @alistairproductions
    @alistairproductions 9 лет назад

    dude i love you. u wanna be my girlfriend?

    • @TypeTipsLeonTsao
      @TypeTipsLeonTsao  9 лет назад +13

      Matthew Alistair That'll take some massive gender reassignment surgery. Stay tuned as I transform just for you ;)

    • @alistairproductions
      @alistairproductions 9 лет назад +1

      lmao

  • @Gr33nsn33k
    @Gr33nsn33k 7 лет назад

    pedantic about privilege theory and publicly shaming racists and transphobic people done by intp i've witnessed. interesting!

  • @neoforce0
    @neoforce0 9 лет назад +22

    actually, esfj is just dual to intp. And entj is the dark shadow for intp.

    • @Gr33nsn33k
      @Gr33nsn33k 7 лет назад +1

      the word shadow has been thrown around just as carelessly as let's say narcissistic :D i think the connonation with this shadow was the aspects an intp suppresses and can't handle so they come up from the shadows in an awkward way

    • @smartcatcollarproject5699
      @smartcatcollarproject5699 7 лет назад +4

      What exactly do you mean by "dual", can you consciously switch to this type, without too many blunders ?
      ENTJ is the "boss" personality, it jumped on me a few times in urgency situations. I remember being on a boat, one of the guys badly cut his arm when coming out of water, also on another occasion the weather was bad at night and nobody else knew how to handle the situation, and in both cases I suddenly became the one in charge in the group, and in myself I felt like I was angry ! As soon as I could, I let the others take things in hand, of course, and was quickly back into my introvert type, nearly shaking from what I had just done !
      What I'd like to know, is how I could trigger that personal profile on demand !

    • @moatemsulongchar8418
      @moatemsulongchar8418 5 лет назад +2

      Smart Cat Collar Project please research more...