The Meme Battle that No One is Talking About: The Battle of Fuengirola | Animated History of Poland

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  • Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024

Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @MrDylan2125
    @MrDylan2125 4 года назад +1872

    Poles have never fired a cannon before. Proceeds to roll straight natural 20s.

    • @submarineinthesky8946
      @submarineinthesky8946 4 года назад +87

      ​@Polish Hero Witold Pilecki that inaccurate fire seemed to have sufficient psychological effect to sink a british gunboat on its first volley.

    • @colinsanders9397
      @colinsanders9397 4 года назад +20

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki I've noticed that in a lot of military contexts, a lack of classroom training is not an indicator of ability. The the chataeu officers tend to overcomplicate things. That one NCO that paid attention when he was working with the gun-line doesn't know firing tables or saturation of fires, but he knows how to use the sights and trigger. It might not be the most efficient method, but it'll do in a pinch.

    • @JohnsonTheSecond
      @JohnsonTheSecond 4 года назад +2

      1,100th like

    • @niconilo97
      @niconilo97 4 года назад +1

      @@submarineinthesky8946 hahahaha

    • @itsme924
      @itsme924 3 года назад +7

      They rolled with disadvantage and just kept hitting double 20s

  • @maticom5643
    @maticom5643 4 года назад +1502

    "The British left behind 65 dead, 70 wounded, 200 men, 300 rifles, 5 canons..." You forgot that they left behind their dignity.

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 года назад +115

      You can't lose something that you don't have./They didn't have it to begin with.

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 года назад +31

      @@elmascapo6588 because napoleon wanted to won against Russia and lost most of the army because of attrition qnd the vassal/puppet country recolted because of his lose. They would have losed the Waterloo too if not for the German/New Prussians

    • @theanglo-lithuanian1768
      @theanglo-lithuanian1768 4 года назад +26

      @@alexandrub8786 Acually the Peninsula war was won before Napoleons invasion of Russia failed.
      That and the battle of Waterloo was actually going quite well for the British even before the Prussians showed up. But they were the final nail in the coffin to end the battle.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +85

      Savage

    • @makky6239
      @makky6239 4 года назад +3

      @@theanglo-lithuanian1768 Quit well? They were almost loosing in Waterloo

  • @juannunez5767
    @juannunez5767 4 года назад +2590

    Poland's military plays everything on hard mode.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +505

      Current objective: survive.

    • @rosehites3419
      @rosehites3419 4 года назад +57

      No the enemy always is

    • @area609joe2
      @area609joe2 4 года назад +118

      Except the winged Winged hussars, they play legendary.

    • @Sidedlist
      @Sidedlist 4 года назад +5

      I know

    • @agellidmalik
      @agellidmalik 4 года назад +9

      Huh, so ur saying the Polish army had it easy? Since i guess other nations played on _realistic_ 😜

  • @trollking1176
    @trollking1176 4 года назад +1533

    Poland is the literal definition of we have won the battle but not the war

    • @trollking1176
      @trollking1176 4 года назад +22

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki I get what your saying and do agree with you about poland being a great empire but that was achieved with the help of lithuania. But during the end of the commonwealth they got totally stomped on by other kingdoms and continued that trend for the rest of they're history and I'm not hating on them I'm just saying that when a country fought poland and out numbered them in a battle that country had a pretty good chance at Losing or at least the pols would make the battle take way longer than it should have but the country would still win the war
      Ex: germany v poland ww2

    • @komradekile
      @komradekile 4 года назад +2

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki lol, pilsudski defeat bolshevik

    • @komradekile
      @komradekile 4 года назад +3

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki its lol because i find it funny that the red army failed so miserebly. I hope you realize im agreeing with u

    • @komradekile
      @komradekile 4 года назад +1

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki lol!

    • @funtimefredboi3877
      @funtimefredboi3877 4 года назад +1

      @Jonathan Williams every time you mean the one time when The ottomans attacked Austria trying to get Vienna Vienna being part of Austria that's a part of the Holy Alliance and if you know who also was part of this alliance
      Poland Lithuania thus
      It hade to fight
      that the polish came at the end of an Long siege should also be considered in telling how hard there fight was bdw Austria isint German as they say so fuck you Germany never betrayed Poland

  • @MasterFief
    @MasterFief 4 года назад +2473

    The Poles were outnumbered 12 to 1.
    The Poles: “Then it is an even fight”

    • @adamlatosinski5475
      @adamlatosinski5475 4 года назад +67

      They just took their enemies's guns. Not that they needed them, they weren't even trained how to use them.

    • @Elitist20
      @Elitist20 4 года назад +38

      Blayney's sabre is now on display at the Czartoryski Museum in Kraków.

    • @MrBassmann15
      @MrBassmann15 4 года назад +20

      All canons fire at will. Burn their mongrel hides.

    • @a.h.s.3006
      @a.h.s.3006 4 года назад +31

      well it wasn't balanced.......
      For the British

    • @mukduk333
      @mukduk333 4 года назад +1

      Caden Kruger unles it’s ww2

  • @wannabehistorian371
    @wannabehistorian371 4 года назад +1076

    The Poles have got to be some of the luckiest unluckiest people ever.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +108

      True dat

    • @James-sk4db
      @James-sk4db 4 года назад +11

      Making up for all the unluckiness they get with neighbours.

    • @wannabehistorian371
      @wannabehistorian371 4 года назад +2

      History House Productions I’m late to this, but YOU NOTICED ME AAAAAA-

    • @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489
      @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 4 года назад +4

      The Irish are probably amongst the top ones as well

    • @michamalina5530
      @michamalina5530 4 года назад +2

      @Somarik Green soo you do portray this situation as Stalin did. Where did you find this narration of betrayed neighbour? It ignores the fact why czechoslovakia got Zaolzie in first place

  • @vincivice.checkmybeats.1758
    @vincivice.checkmybeats.1758 4 года назад +1522

    Ok, now I know how the Arabs conquered Iberia. They simply attacked only on Sundays

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +295

      Pro gamer move

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 года назад +230

      And the spanish retake it by attacking only fridays.

    • @prometheus7387
      @prometheus7387 4 года назад +39

      Omg now I know what to do if I want to take over Iberia. Thanks for the tips!

    • @philip8498
      @philip8498 4 года назад +67

      In a Asterix cartoon this is used as a joke. When Caesar wants to conquer Britannia he only fights them on the weekend because the british refuse to fight on the weekend. This is literally a cartoon joke come to life

    • @elviajerodelahistoria
      @elviajerodelahistoria 4 года назад +13

      Soy español y te digo que nosotros hacemos todo todos los días, más incluso si es para defender nuestra tierra. Los árabes entraron porque hubo una guerra civil visigoda y los contrincantes a Rodrigo les dejaron entrar.

  • @edgelord8337
    @edgelord8337 4 года назад +731

    Spanish soldiers: *why did you give us beef don't you know this is against god?!?!*
    Britain: *isn't killing fellow Christians against god*
    Spanish soldiers: *nah fam don't worry this is fine*

    • @nnvist
      @nnvist 4 года назад +15

      *God

    • @opperturk124
      @opperturk124 4 года назад +6

      I think the polish were protestant so they good

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +157

      The Polish were hella Catholic too

    • @opperturk124
      @opperturk124 4 года назад +1

      @@HistoryHouseProductions o

    • @opperturk124
      @opperturk124 4 года назад +3

      @@HistoryHouseProductions hhp i was wondering since you make a lot of video's about poland, do you have polish herritage or something?

  • @Kjajo
    @Kjajo 4 года назад +730

    The 4 polish tactics to win every battle:
    1. God or any catholic figure. Like 40% of all Polish victories are dedicated to a religious being.
    2. Lithuanian light cavarly. Seriously, one of the reasons for a major victory at the battle of Grunwald.
    3. Be outnumbered, aka a tactic used on all periods of Polish history.
    4. Horses with wings. Literally won us a 1 to a 100 ratio battle. (Battle of Hodów)

    • @vattghern257
      @vattghern257 4 года назад +30

      It's a Hodów not Chodów !
      I mean h and ch are basically pronounced the same but (ch is pronounced longer than h)

    • @Kjajo
      @Kjajo 4 года назад +23

      @@vattghern257 i know, im polish. But that was a Simple mistake.

    • @kingsarues1586
      @kingsarues1586 4 года назад +13

      Wasn't the 3rd battle for Poland won because some Hungarian nobles got pissed at the mongols so they just made there own armies and marched into Poland to kill mongols.

    • @Kjajo
      @Kjajo 4 года назад +9

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki I know, but i just added the lithuanian light cavarly as they were part of the commonwealth and our allies. Without the poles, lithunians would have lost. without lithuanians poles would have lost.

    • @Kjajo
      @Kjajo 4 года назад +1

      @@kingsarues1586 Boy, this list doesnt even deserve polish hungarian friendship, as it wasnt a tactic. it was somethiong much bigger and much more often than the other on the list.

  • @eleanorpathak5142
    @eleanorpathak5142 4 года назад +502

    Polish General: Come and Take it!
    Texans: Write that down, Write that down!

    • @septimus64
      @septimus64 4 года назад +10

      I think they also said Yeet Haw first

    • @AlexYorim
      @AlexYorim 4 года назад +2

      [writes tic-tac-toe]

    • @roccosoldi8678
      @roccosoldi8678 4 года назад +13

      @@septimus64 lol, pretty close, it's pronounced Yeah-bach (spelt 'jebać' in Polish), meaning F*** 'em up!

    • @johnfraire6931
      @johnfraire6931 4 года назад +8

      "You can go to hell; and I'll still be in this fortress."
      ~Polish version of Davy Crockett, probably.

    • @salsaniggas8544
      @salsaniggas8544 4 года назад

      *Proceeds to kill David Crockett*

  • @thebartoszek3625
    @thebartoszek3625 4 года назад +250

    - commander they outnumber us 12 to 1.
    - Dammit , its gonna take forever to burry the bodies

  • @VRichardsn
    @VRichardsn 4 года назад +335

    You can still visit Krakow's history museum and admire Lord Blayney's sword, captured at Fuengirola. No, really, I am not making it up.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +54

      It’s pretty interesting

    • @VRichardsn
      @VRichardsn 4 года назад +16

      @@HistoryHouseProductions Hey, thanks for the reply. Keep up the quality content coming; this channel has a lot of potential.

    • @gezzaschannel
      @gezzaschannel 4 года назад +28

      its about time someone had something British in a museum, considering how much stuff the British have from everyone else on display.

    • @pawelszczurek863
      @pawelszczurek863 4 года назад +2

      napoleon.org.pl/bszabla1a.jpg

    • @_d--
      @_d-- 4 года назад +1

      Lord Blayney the lord of memes! Meme creator before It was cool... or even invented!!

  • @PanTopor
    @PanTopor 4 года назад +76

    There is an old Polish saying coined by the very successful 17th century Polish-Lithuanian commander Jan Karol Chodkiewicz : "First we beat the enemy, then we count him."

  • @msb7289
    @msb7289 4 года назад +1086

    Greetings from Poland. You know what, considering polish history this battle's odds were pretty good lol

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +124

      That’s what I’m saying

    • @msb7289
      @msb7289 4 года назад +23

      @@HistoryHouseProductions There were many worst. Too many lol

    • @gamefan1019
      @gamefan1019 4 года назад +4

      I’m also from Poland hi

    • @wonderchiken9883
      @wonderchiken9883 4 года назад

      U lot hate Muslims. Pretty bad tbh

    • @aegeanharrier6648
      @aegeanharrier6648 4 года назад +7

      @@wonderchiken9883 Maybe its because most muslims act like its still 600s? As much as love possible from Western Turkey

  • @yungstallion2201
    @yungstallion2201 4 года назад +334

    Britain: Let’s get our ships ready
    Spain: I forgot
    Britain: Let’s eat so we’re energised
    Spain: I can’t
    Britain: Let’s get some guerrilla fighters
    Spain: I have 12
    Britain: let’s attack on Sunday
    Spain: The pope said no
    Poland: OH YEAH ITS SHOWTIME

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +29

      Lol

    • @DJREPLAY32
      @DJREPLAY32 4 года назад +4

      Tell this joke to Edward Vernon I guess he would laugh too, wouldn't he?

    • @raz_hz
      @raz_hz 4 года назад

      It's all Spain's fault.

    • @r32guy85
      @r32guy85 4 года назад +5

      @@raz_hz yeah not at all the british, yeah it's not like they had to relay on their own allies and also say wrong facts about spanish people.

    • @condedooku9750
      @condedooku9750 3 года назад +1

      @@DJREPLAY32
      Blas de Lezo has found your comment to be very true.

  • @dr.puggles8176
    @dr.puggles8176 4 года назад +200

    “They found some grapeshot in a closet”
    I can just imagine a pol leaning on an old door and it falling and him just going: oh...ohhhh....OHHH

    • @paulkornel7405
      @paulkornel7405 3 года назад +3

      Throw in some "ohhh kurwa's" and that's pretty much it

  • @teneas7443
    @teneas7443 4 года назад +114

    There is one battle where Poles were outnumbered 100:1. It was Battle of Hodów, where 100 winged hussars and 300 riders called "pancerni" (armoured) were facing 40000 troops of Crimean Khanate. And they won. Poles lost their horses (very expensive horses) and were fighting completely surrounded using only pistols. When they had no ammo, they were using broken arrows instead.

    • @prestonjones1653
      @prestonjones1653 3 года назад +6

      How the hell did they win.

    • @eastonthehistoryguy2925
      @eastonthehistoryguy2925 2 года назад +4

      I made a video about that! Most underrated battle in history!

    • @mareksicinski3726
      @mareksicinski3726 2 года назад +1

      @@prestonjones1653 good discipline and armour ig, remember the attackers were comparatively worn down

    • @zerte4197
      @zerte4197 2 года назад

      @@Whatareyoudoinnhere preety accurate

    • @imabitmid
      @imabitmid 4 месяца назад

      @@prestonjones1653the tartars gave up after losing 2,000 men

  • @tgs9034
    @tgs9034 4 года назад +91

    "Leave it to the Poles. Nothing is impossible for them. " - Napoleon Bonaparte
    epic memes

    • @redpolscorp
      @redpolscorp 2 года назад +5

      In france they say "Drunk as a polish"...
      Because apparently they took an impossible to capture mountain fort while they were drunk.
      Wodka, wine and dwòjniak make a hell of a potion I guess.

    • @Krokmaniak
      @Krokmaniak 2 года назад +6

      @@redpolscorp Version I heard was that after one battle (I don't remember which one) all Napoleon's soldiers were celebrating and when Russians counterattack only Poles were able to fight and drove them off despite being as drunk as rest of the army.

    • @redpolscorp
      @redpolscorp 2 года назад +4

      @@Krokmaniak maybe both are true? Or both are false and it is largely a reason to give a stereotype a somewhat positive twist.

    • @Krokmaniak
      @Krokmaniak 2 года назад +3

      @@redpolscorp I did some quick searching and apparently there are three situations that are supposed to be genesis for this. First one was battle of Somosierra when polish light cavalry charged 4 fortified artillery batteries and one general was supposed to say "Only someone drunk would give such an order and only someone drunk would fulfill it".
      Other two are basically Napoleon saying something like"I wish all my soldiers were drunk like Poles"
      One was just random inspection after some celebrating in Spain and only polish solders could stand straight and other is what I described earlier and it was battle of Frydland

  • @Keranite
    @Keranite 4 года назад +330

    There are no happy endings in polish history, never have been

    • @janherburodo8070
      @janherburodo8070 4 года назад +32

      Yeah, we defended our independence from the Soviet army after 123 of foreign rule, for 20 years... to be invaded by III Reich and USSR... Yeah, the Soviets are now our allies and the coming to Poland to fight the Germans... and take our independence for another 50 years...

    • @Keranite
      @Keranite 4 года назад +9

      @@janherburodo8070 I'm polish as well, lul

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 года назад +11

      I mean Poland is independent...for now.

    • @adamlatosinski5475
      @adamlatosinski5475 4 года назад +8

      Władysław Łokietek (Ladislaus the Elbow-High) reunification of Poland in XIV century? It wasn't a complete success (ihe didn't manage to unite Silesia with the rest of the Poland, nor defeat the Teutonic Knights), but as the end of feudal fragmentation, it is a kind of happy ending, isn't it?

    • @Keranite
      @Keranite 4 года назад +6

      @@adamlatosinski5475 Which that lead to us not regaining silesia for over 500 years and ended up being the reason why we didn't expand north to be more prosperous and so got fucked by russia

  • @manghariz2211
    @manghariz2211 4 года назад +145

    This whole scenario is literally like plot driven.
    It just seems the poles have themselves some great ass quality plot armour.

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 года назад +37

      Sadly their country doesn't.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +45

      “Polish Plot Armor” is an outfit that’s too OP to pass up on.

    • @thegrimmarcher202
      @thegrimmarcher202 4 года назад +7

      yes, the writers are very hit and miss when it comes to poland

  • @woz1937
    @woz1937 4 года назад +35

    4:15 Franciszek Mlokosiewicz was already a quite experienced officer. 41 years old at Fuengirola Mlokosiewicz has already serve as an officer in Polish-Russian War of 1792 than he is taking part in Kosciuszko Uprising in 1794. In 1806 he is joining the army of Dutchy of Warsaw and fighting in War of Fourth Coalition after which he received the War Order of Virtuti Militari which is Poland's highest military decoration for heroism and courage.
    Then comes Battle of Fuengirola in 1810 but Mlokosiewicz is with his troops in Spain since 1808. So not very much beginners luck in defending the Fuengirola castle :) Then he is taking part in Napoleons Grande Armee invasion of Russia in 1812 and in a Battle of Nations at Leipzig a year later. Almost 20 years later when he is 61 he's taking up his sword and joining November Uprising in 1830 and after leading sudden attack on rear of the Russian army flank Mlokosieicz is promoted to general. And the creme de la creme for an old man. In 1842 just few years before his death Mlokosiwicz is granted with nobility and with a coat of arms. And now the best part - his coat of arms is called Fuengirola with a golden lion holding a sword standing in a gate of a castle :) Below Franciszek Mlokosiewicz tombstone in Warsaw cemetery upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/78/Franciszek_Mlokosiewicz_grave.jpg
    P.S. All the best in 2021 ! ! !

  • @goatscream8345
    @goatscream8345 4 года назад +70

    "And the portuguese are there for some reason" Is Portuguese history in a nutshell

    • @imabitmid
      @imabitmid 4 месяца назад

      Ah yes, aljubarrota with 30,000 Castilians against a few hundred Englishmen… oh and 6,000 allied Portuguese I guess

  • @thegeneraljohn2895
    @thegeneraljohn2895 4 года назад +185

    Britain's Forces: *Outnumber Poland 12:1*
    Poland's Forces: "You Gotta Bump Those Numbers Up, Those Are Rookie Numbers."

    • @galang.satria
      @galang.satria 4 года назад +8

      Germany forces:Ok,40:1 it is

    • @thegeneraljohn2895
      @thegeneraljohn2895 4 года назад +9

      @@galang.satria Polish Soldiers: *Ah, yes, a fair fight it is!*

    • @roccosoldi8678
      @roccosoldi8678 4 года назад +4

      commence chest beating: hmmmm-hmmmmm-hmmmmm.... tootski?

    • @jozefkozon4520
      @jozefkozon4520 3 года назад +2

      @@thegeneraljohn2895 Naw, that was almost a drow, G-man.

  • @aqpatt4675
    @aqpatt4675 4 года назад +50

    I'm from Fuengirola and never expected the castle I see pretty much every day had such a crazy story xD Also the fact of people from different places of Europe fighting stupidly fits perfectly with the ambiance during summer so it's nice to see that some traditions have not been lost xD

  • @garydagg9112
    @garydagg9112 4 года назад +138

    Greetings from England, That dig about our food was timed perfectly as I was eating my fish n chips

  • @nicolasgodines1129
    @nicolasgodines1129 4 года назад +114

    Polish Military in every war they fight basically: *I DIDN'T HEAR NO BELL*

  • @ArcticWolve98
    @ArcticWolve98 4 года назад +73

    Plot twist : Blaney knew those were poles and since he lost his save state to fix his mistakes he just walked over to quit the game

  • @SpanishDio
    @SpanishDio 4 года назад +48

    Just imagine being a Polish soldier, fighting for France in Southern Spain, damn the Napoleonic wars were wild.

    • @mareksicinski3726
      @mareksicinski3726 2 года назад +4

      it was not that wild for them, polish soldiers fought in wars all across the world hey had been in italy under napoleon first
      also this was napoleonic subjection b ut specifically poles fought in the american revolution, hungarian revolution, carlist wars, some in the risorgimento (republic of rome spec), american civil war, paris commune, mexican revolution

    • @adiosa1388
      @adiosa1388 Год назад +1

      Imagine being sent to haiti to fight rebels tgen u join them look it up

  • @ramicane1671
    @ramicane1671 4 года назад +75

    Mlokoslewicz to Blaney:
    Peace was never an option

  • @lordsiergiej9685
    @lordsiergiej9685 4 года назад +47

    There's something that Napoleon said once (it's a polish myth)
    "If you think it's impossible, leave it to poles"

  • @LonkPlays
    @LonkPlays 4 года назад +24

    From someone of Fuengirola, thank you for telling this wonderful story.

  • @WR288
    @WR288 4 года назад +321

    "Good Catholics don't fight on Sundays." How did these people conquer most of the New World?

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +91

      The world may never know

    • @barbadianaviation
      @barbadianaviation 4 года назад +2

      @Aleksa Petrovic um

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 года назад +21

      By using pre-existing feuds between native. funny enough i think the EU IV Dharma (edit: trailer)is the best explanation.

    • @edugarcia001
      @edugarcia001 4 года назад +29

      Not a widespread habit, just an extremely conservative commander (which wasn't the norm, not until the Carlist wars)

    • @MrLuchenkov
      @MrLuchenkov 4 года назад +39

      By using the six other days of the week to their fullest.

  • @thibaudduhamel2581
    @thibaudduhamel2581 4 года назад +45

    Another act of sheer "polishness" during the napoleonic wars was the charge of the French Imperial guard polish lancer regiment at Somossiera, where 150 polish horsemen routed an entire corps of spanish troops.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +7

      Savage

    • @thibaudduhamel2581
      @thibaudduhamel2581 4 года назад +10

      @@HistoryHouseProductions Napoleon himself said that this was the best cavalry charge he ever saw.

    • @alejandrop.s.3942
      @alejandrop.s.3942 4 года назад +3

      Winged Hussars tradition.

    • @caspramio
      @caspramio 4 года назад +1

      I wonder which were more shocking for the spanish, thay charge or the one by the llaneros in Queseras del medio

    • @Krokmaniak
      @Krokmaniak 4 года назад +3

      @@alejandrop.s.3942 This was actually Ułan tradition. These cavaliers were ex Ułans. For those interested: Ułans were light cavalry used by Poles between XVI century and WW2.

  • @micheasz2552
    @micheasz2552 4 года назад +92

    There is a polish proverb ,,Niedzielna praca w gówno sie obraca" what literally means ,,Sunday work turns into shit"

  • @achyuthansanal
    @achyuthansanal 4 года назад +86

    When Jack Rackam, Kings and Generals and History House Productions upload on the same day...... you know it’s a good day

  • @filip5052
    @filip5052 4 года назад +86

    If they didn't eat that meat they would've won

  • @NIKO-cf5es
    @NIKO-cf5es 4 года назад +44

    Im from Poland and i love when History House Productions made video's about Poland or Poles. Keep it up proud of you.

  • @kube410
    @kube410 3 месяца назад +3

    Some additional info about Franciszek Młokosiewicz. He was not of noble origin and was the only private who menaged to climb the rank of general in 19th century Poland.
    In his youth he took part in the last war Poland fought against Russia before being partitioned as well as in the Kościuszko Uprising.
    He then served as a colonel in 4th line regiment of the Duchy of Warsaw for a few years before getting moved to fuengirola so he was quite an experienced fighter and commander by this time. He took part in napoleons Russian campaign and was heavily wounded at Lipsk.
    During the november uprising of 1831 he came back from his retirement to command the insurgents as a colonel at the crazy age of 61 years old and after an successful flanking manouvre that won a battle was promoted to brigadier general. After insurgents lost he was forced to swear loyalty plea to Tsar Nicolas I. In 1845 Tsar nobilitated him by giving him a family name and coat of arms "Fuengirola". He died a year later

  • @yodef6828
    @yodef6828 4 года назад +32

    Foreigners learning about this battle: "At least our men were brave"
    Spaniards: "Not fighting in Sundays, proud of our men"
    British: "Hehe..."

  • @AnotherDoomerWeeb
    @AnotherDoomerWeeb 4 года назад +116

    England: Poland pls surrender I just want to kill the French
    Poland: Nah
    England: Right then. Spain! Lets take back your country.
    Spain: No fight untill good food
    England: ...What?
    Spain: No fight on sunday
    England:... WHAT?
    *Angry Polish noises*
    *Confused English screaming*

    • @snakes3425
      @snakes3425 4 года назад +15

      Afterword
      England: This battle never happened

    • @Thurnmourer
      @Thurnmourer 4 года назад +1

      It's not England. It's the UK or Great Britain if you want to be more loose.

  • @JenniferinIllinois
    @JenniferinIllinois 4 года назад +67

    British army: we outnumber the enemy 12 to 1
    Polosh army: I like those odds

    • @ivlivscaesar5898
      @ivlivscaesar5898 4 года назад +1

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki Aren't there *six* battles considered "Polish Thermopylaes?"

    • @jozefkozon4520
      @jozefkozon4520 3 года назад

      @@ivlivscaesar5898 ​ @History House Productions Vid Idea?

  • @anonymous4chantroll
    @anonymous4chantroll Год назад +5

    I just wanted to say this is by far my favorite historical video. I watch a ton of them on YT but this one always has me coming back for a good laugh, even 2 years later. Great work HHP

  • @svenskgeneral4973
    @svenskgeneral4973 4 года назад +6

    The fact that Poland gets bigger every time it gets invaded is terrifying

  • @yesssyeppp3852
    @yesssyeppp3852 4 года назад +16

    I’m British and I can say i understand why we were allies with Poland post nopoleonic era🇬🇧🇵🇱

  • @comradetonk8280
    @comradetonk8280 4 года назад +15

    "Expecting the outnumbered poles to surrender without a fight"
    He forgot he wasn't fighting french troops.

  • @Vei_
    @Vei_ 4 года назад +12

    Imagine the feeling when your fleet is scared away by Poles with four cannons and no cannonier experience

  • @tomaszzalewski4541
    @tomaszzalewski4541 4 года назад +26

    "One minute to eat their food and 59 minutes to cry about having to eat British food" - to be honest British food did tasted kinda weird when I tried it :)

  • @aa-up4sf
    @aa-up4sf 2 года назад +9

    Polish are awesome. Outnumbered grossly by the British and they destroyed them. One of the few times Polish forces fight against Great Britain. No wonder Napoleon loved his Polish troops so much.

  • @Mszaanisko
    @Mszaanisko 2 года назад +7

    I'm a Pole and I didn't hear about this battle - great work, thanks!

  • @Kondotier
    @Kondotier 4 года назад +11

    Few additions and small corrections to this great video ;)
    1. One Polish soldier was actually a former artilleryman in Russian army, so he knew a little about cannons ;)
    2. Poles fought with British few more times during Peninsula War. Battle of Albuera with Polish Vistula Lancers breaking 3 British infantry regiments in charge and capturing 5 out of 6 flags the Brits were carrying is probably the most famous;)
    3. One of the first cannonballs hit the well in the castle, so Poles lost their water supply. That's what forced them to charge out from the castle and seek victory in open field, with bayonet.
    4. When lord Blayney was captured, he asked for something to drink. The only thing that Poles had at the moment was vodka. Blyney shuddered, but Młokosiewicz told him that there are only two nations famous from their fighting prowess as well as drinking capabilities: Poles and Britons, so he have to drink what he gets ;)
    5. Blayney's sword is stored to this day in Czartoryski's museum in Cracow.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +4

      Where'd you find all this info? Pretty interesting stuff. In regards to the British and Poles not fighting again, I meant that they never fought again after the Napoleonic Wars. I could've been more clear on that.

    • @Kondotier
      @Kondotier 4 года назад +3

      @@HistoryHouseProductions Polish sources, including: Krzysztof Mazowski' "Fuengirola 1810"-pretty good monograph about that battle; Marian Kukiel "Wojny Napoleońskie" and few others. I studied history and napoleonic wars were my main interest, especially military history of Duchy of Warsaw ;)

    • @TheDiackon
      @TheDiackon Год назад +1

      @@Kondotier dzięki za podpowiedź ze źródłami :)

  • @simongrundyreiner
    @simongrundyreiner 4 года назад +17

    You know, I’ve been to Fuengirola, spent a fair amount of time there. Even been to the castle. It is next to impossible to find anything about this battle so it is clear that everybody involved was thoroughly ashamed of this battle

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +5

      Yeah, some other people have said that it isn't super talked about in the local history.

    • @ChillDudelD
      @ChillDudelD 3 года назад +1

      @@HistoryHouseProductions This is the case, or was more before, with Poland's history in general outside its borders.

  • @thegreatestbaldeagle2999
    @thegreatestbaldeagle2999 4 года назад +13

    The Poles selected “Hard” when choosing their starting location

  • @shroder2748
    @shroder2748 4 года назад +42

    *Imagine getting killed by a volley of grapes. ~ This post was made by History Productions Gang*

  • @Britishperson131
    @Britishperson131 4 года назад +7

    Im a history buff and have even visited the very places mentioned here numerous times. There wasnt a single scrap of info regarding this battle. Thanks so much for this! It was fascinating to hear all about it. FYI the main castle is still there. Though we colloquially call the city "Fungus" as it is nothing more than god forsaken tourist hell hole. But Mijas is still a lovely town located high in the hills.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 года назад +3

      The castle is a little bit outside the town, so maybe there’s more info there? I think they did a re-enactment there a few years ago.

    • @Britishperson131
      @Britishperson131 4 года назад +1

      @@HistoryHouseProductions it might have been back in the day but its practically a sea fort. And is surrounded by new buildings. In regard to info the whole occupation by the french is not well publicised as its still today an embarrassment. Then of course the British reenactors turn up lol.

  • @Vajperrr
    @Vajperrr 4 года назад +7

    Thank you HHP, thanks to you Poland is becomming a meme (bias) in a positive way, so everyone finally knows that Poland’s history is awesome

  • @sreckocuvalo8110
    @sreckocuvalo8110 4 года назад +31

    I swear an actual polish history is like other nation's propaganda.

  • @luca_history
    @luca_history 4 года назад +51

    This is the weirdest comment section I've ever seen

  • @Crick1952
    @Crick1952 4 года назад +31

    Virgin Blaney vs Chad Mlokosiewicz

  • @l.u.i.s._.8452
    @l.u.i.s._.8452 4 года назад +18

    Britain: ok Spain we gonna attack at noon
    Spain: of course
    Later at noon
    Britain: let’s go Spain it’s noon
    Spain: *siesta*

  • @jorgeigualbonilla9998
    @jorgeigualbonilla9998 4 года назад +10

    As a spanish I can say this was a humiliating experience, but I can't say it was unexpected/unprecedented sadly

  • @crusaderanimation6967
    @crusaderanimation6967 4 года назад +9

    American army:Call of duty
    France army:Teample tun
    Polish army:Dark souls

    • @alekjanowski9847
      @alekjanowski9847 3 года назад +1

      @Gamble Shanks Literal blood for the blood god, but in Catholic edition in meele XD

  • @elevenwarrior5169
    @elevenwarrior5169 4 года назад +15

    As a spaniard i can confirm we just wanted an excuse to not fight alongside the brits

  • @pablobastidaalbaladejo751
    @pablobastidaalbaladejo751 4 года назад +13

    Feels good to be Spanish, proud of my people

  • @bedouinknight9437
    @bedouinknight9437 4 года назад +28

    The Poles are so brave, they never surrender

  • @vattghern257
    @vattghern257 4 года назад +9

    Hahaha ! I've know about this battle before
    but than and again, great video :D
    Grettings from Poland to all people who wish to live in freedom !!!

  • @Jorge-df1sk
    @Jorge-df1sk 4 года назад +3

    A spanish here
    Just gonna say good video man

  • @wiizzpl4718
    @wiizzpl4718 4 года назад +15

    Poland: sucky neighbours, sucky allies, likes arguing, makes pierogi.
    Special unit: Winged Hussars, Wojtek the bear.
    Special ability: Jeszcze Polska nie zgineła - when fighting for independence every unit gets a modification: x40 attack x40 defence x40 luck.

  • @joeyj6808
    @joeyj6808 2 года назад +6

    More outrageously brave and amazing Polish military shenanigans! Love it!

  • @diarradunlap9337
    @diarradunlap9337 4 года назад +18

    "Battles in which outnumbered Poles fight harder than they're supposed to: 100%!"
    😏😆😁😆

  • @jannovak9605
    @jannovak9605 4 года назад +9

    Great video, luv your sense of humor. Have you ever heard about the story Maurycy Beniowski? He's a guy born in Hungary arrested by the Russians for taking part in the Noble uprising in Poland, he got sent to Siberia, staged a rebellion there, sole a ship, sailed to China, then he helped the French to conquer Madagascar, the rebelled against the French after being crowned the king by the locals. Cool story, maybe cool enough for a episode

  • @RM97800
    @RM97800 4 года назад +39

    Maybe polish history hasn't got any happy endings, but for god sake WE TOOK MOSCOW in 1610
    You don't see that thing in French or German history books
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish%E2%80%93Muscovite_War_(1605%E2%80%931618)

    • @x-a-
      @x-a- 4 года назад +8

      The French also took Moscow....

    • @belgebelgravia100
      @belgebelgravia100 4 года назад +1

      You mostly don't hear about it, because during most of the war, Russia was in a state of civil war, where the Polish aristocracy supported opposing sides to screw over Russia, or the famine that killed a third of the population, 2 years before, Poland invaded. Or the fact that eventually 2 years after the Polish took Moscow, the Russians, still in their dynastic civil war, managed to take back Moscow, despite the defending Polish army being 50% larger than the attacking Russians.
      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_of_Troubles
      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_famine_of_1601-03
      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Moscow_(1612)

    • @RM97800
      @RM97800 4 года назад

      @@belgebelgravia100 Yes.

    • @jaybadayatherockmerchant9832
      @jaybadayatherockmerchant9832 4 года назад

      @@____union____5319 but the reason why the French couldn't take it by force is literally because they kept crusing the Russians and the Russians saw it best to fight a war of nutrition then a direct engagement.

    • @gengis737
      @gengis737 4 года назад

      @@____union____5319 French destroyed Russian army first, at Borodino, then took Moscow from retreating Russians. Burning was started on Russian governor's orders after the French entered the city.

  • @acrispywaffleiron4014
    @acrispywaffleiron4014 4 года назад +5

    This explains why Britain kinda didn't do literally anything to help Poland during WWII

    • @hmm3032
      @hmm3032 4 года назад +1

      Britain didn't do much in WW2 until the end

  • @luistruemmler8008
    @luistruemmler8008 4 года назад +30

    Smh everyone knows you need to outnumber poles 40:1 or else your force soon will be gone

    • @holabuenas7200
      @holabuenas7200 4 года назад +1

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki wow. Polish soldiers really remind me of Spanish ones. Some examples of battles (10 because I could name more, but it would take too long and 10 is a nice number) and soldiers are:
      Battle of Cape Celidonia 1616 (6 Spanish ships vs 55 Ottoman ships)
      Battle of Gibraltar 1621 (9 Spanish ships vs 50 Dutch ships)
      Battle of Kollum 1638 (8.000 Spanish vs 22.000 Dutch)
      Cagayán battles 1582 (40 Spanish vs 1.000 Japanese, Chinese and Cambodian pirates and soldiers on an open field)
      Battle of Krasny Bor 1943 (5.900 men of the Spanish Blue Division, which led the battle and an uncertain small number of SS troops vs 38.000 soviets and 90 tanks. Out of 20.000 casualties, 11.000 were made by Spanish
      Battle of Cartagena de Indias 1741 (3.000 Spanish, of which 1.600 were proper soldiers and 6 ships vs 27.400 British troops and 186 ships)
      Battle of Pavia 1522 (pretty even armies ~18.000 Spanish vs ~19.000 - 30.000 French and Swiss depending on the source, probably 19.000 vs 30.000, the French cought by surprise the Spanish troops, but when on the first assault 3.000 men got killed they retreated, and Spanish troops lost 0. One, if you take into account a dude that died because of a mule kick xd)
      Sieges of Oran and Mers El-Kèbir 1563 (1.500 Spanish defending two cities at the same time vs 100.000 Ottomans on 50 ships, many of which were Jenissary)
      The Cádiz expedition 1625 (6.300 Spanish vs 15.400 British and 105 warships)
      The battle of Gembloux 1578 (armies did not completely fight, right army engaged, left total: 1.600/17.000 Spanish Cavalry (1.200) and infantry (400) vs 20.000/ 25.000 Dutch which contained elite infantry from William of Orange himself)
      Undefeated commanders:
      Blas de Lezo (the Half Man, I lost one eye, one leg and the mobility of an arm) since he enlisted in the army at young age and fought in battles such as the Siege of Toulon of 1707. As soon he became commander, no battle he fought in was lost.
      Álvaro de Bazán, a might commander, who's first battle was the battle of Muros Bay 1543, and commanded the decisive battle of Ponta Delgada 1582.
      Other soldiers:
      Diego García de Paredes (the Sanson of Extremadura). His herculean strength made him famous. On the military scene, episodes such as his fight in Rome armed with just a stick against 15 armed italian soldiers inside a tavern which ended in the death of the Italians, attracted the Pope's attention, making him chief of his personal guard inmediately. In the Siege of the Castle of Saint George in 1500, Diego enlisted as a soldier under Gran Capitán's command. The 700 Ottomans (Jenissary garrison) had among their offensive weapons a machine equipped with hooks that the Spaniards called "wolves", with which they grasped the soldiers by their armor and, lifting them high, they smashed them, letting them fall, or, they attracted them towards the wall to kill them or captivate them. Diego was one of the men who in this way were taken to the wall, where they threw the hooks at him, and after fighting with the device so as not to be shaken to the ground, they raised him on top of the wall. Paredes then keeping his sword and shield, set foot on the battlements, and once the artifact was opened he was free to begin a fight that seems incredible and is, however, completely true: with unbridled violence he began to kill the Jenissary who tried approaching to knock him down, and neither the party in charge of killing the prisoners nor the reinforcements that arrived could surrender him; reinforcements and more reinforcements came against him, crashing before the resistance of the man of amazing energies, who "seemed to be increasing the difficulty". He resisted inside the fortress doing "things so worthy of memory defending himself that they could never surrender him ". the Ottomans," ​many of which died lost hope of restraining him, "they could only capture him until fatigue and hunger stroke him, and after fighting for three days, he surrendered.
      During the Battle of Garigliano 1503, another event occurred "as true, as apparently incredible." Paredes felt hurt in pride after a reproach from the Gran Capitán for a tactical proposal. Blinded by an outburst of madness and melancholy, he took his 2-handed sword and went alone to the entrance of the Garellano river bridge, personally challenging a detachment of the French army (according to the legend of 2.000 men who surely were about 500). With great fury and holding the imposing steel, he began to fight the French, who due to the narrowness of the bridge, faced each one of them hand in hand. The Spanish and the French could not believe what their eyes saw. The French crowded together to try to knock down Diego, who had the bridge full of corpses. Only the warnings of his companions claiming that the enemy had artillery made Diego withdraw.

  • @scottshaw3337
    @scottshaw3337 4 года назад +17

    Ah yes, the Brits sending foreign troops charging to their certain death. I see nothing's changed

  • @the_new_napoleon7038
    @the_new_napoleon7038 4 года назад +10

    Polish soldiers : How do we use the cannons.
    Polish soldiers proceed to destroy one ship and damage the second.

  • @pacthug4life
    @pacthug4life 4 года назад +5

    You're slowly becoming my favorite history youtuber

  • @dd-579fletcherwillyd.9
    @dd-579fletcherwillyd.9 4 года назад +16

    Ok good sir, THIS (battle) is honestly an entire meme on itself. Damn.

  • @MrMighty147
    @MrMighty147 4 года назад +6

    Dude these videos are getting better and better. You're gonna go far.

  • @JuanJose-fw2uq
    @JuanJose-fw2uq 4 года назад +8

    There are nothing impossible to my poles
    -Napoleon Bonaparte

  • @Ash-oj3ur
    @Ash-oj3ur 4 года назад +60

    So if Poles r fighting in different countries they become like gods then

    • @nieznajomy7
      @nieznajomy7 4 года назад +4

      "in any countries"

    • @Pietroszz
      @Pietroszz 4 года назад +11

      They can also do the same in their country:
      -polish bolshevik war
      -polish Austrian war during napoleon

    • @gregshields5262
      @gregshields5262 4 года назад +8

      They fight even harder in their own country

    • @cageybee7221
      @cageybee7221 4 года назад +7

      poles defending other countries: instant success
      poles defending poland: i guess i die now

    • @alekjanowski9847
      @alekjanowski9847 3 года назад +1

      @@cageybee7221 Check the enemies depending on the regions - on one side Brave but quite unexperienced armies of Spain and Italy + Confused British and German mercenaries - on the other side OP Prussian drilled army, MASSIVE Russian Tsardom hordes (Literally waves of soldiers) and the Austrians ALL AT THE SAME TIME, so I'd give us a pass XD

  • @gandhithegreat328
    @gandhithegreat328 4 года назад +4

    Despite this setback, Blayney would later become a Member of Parliament after he was set free

  • @rageraptor7127
    @rageraptor7127 4 года назад +30

    I can only imagine what would happen if an invasion of Spain was planned on a Sunday lol 😂

    • @metralla
      @metralla 4 года назад +4

      You can't invade Spain on Sunday; it's close

    • @artur6912
      @artur6912 3 года назад

      Good Catholics don't invade on Sunday bro.

  • @Artur_M.
    @Artur_M. 4 года назад +13

    Oh, the battle of Fuengirola! This is going to be good!
    Wait... Didn't I suggest this battle one time?

  • @tazynfire9373
    @tazynfire9373 4 года назад +59

    The creator is always first

  • @Pietroszz
    @Pietroszz 4 года назад +16

    Can you make a vid about the Polish-Austrian war during the Napoleonic wars

  • @Gracz87
    @Gracz87 4 года назад +4

    General Blayney sabre is still in Polish museum in Cracow :P

  • @ertramontana
    @ertramontana 4 года назад +3

    This has been amazing! Subbed

  • @ramacandra4554
    @ramacandra4554 4 года назад +22

    It was a disaster for the british...but the memes....oh, the memes.....

  • @thebeanman99
    @thebeanman99 4 года назад +22

    4:17 So Poles are just European Texans?

  • @legomancb12
    @legomancb12 3 года назад +2

    3:55 the genuine surprise in that voice just earned you a subscriber, lol

  • @Sidedlist
    @Sidedlist 4 года назад +13

    Poland wins a battle when they where out numbered: boy it feels good to be gangsta

  • @luigidisanpietro3720
    @luigidisanpietro3720 4 года назад +15

    Plot twist: The Poles were also Catholic.

  • @duckyboi2297
    @duckyboi2297 4 года назад +5

    Oh he posted 2 minutes ago
    this made my day, thanks

  • @redluke8119
    @redluke8119 4 года назад +2

    I love your channel and narration so much

  • @theofficialsikris
    @theofficialsikris 4 года назад +11

    British: Charge!
    Polish: "Hey I found these smaller cannon balls in a closet, lets jam some of these down the barrel and see what happens!"

  • @aleksandarvil5718
    @aleksandarvil5718 4 года назад +17

    Winged Hussars; Memes:
    *"You Underestimate Our Power"*

  • @DjangoUnSkilled
    @DjangoUnSkilled 4 года назад +4

    Love your videos!

  • @yodef6828
    @yodef6828 4 года назад +12

    As a Spaniard i'm really surprised by the fact that my country has even existed

    • @alejandrop.s.3942
      @alejandrop.s.3942 4 года назад +2

      A veces pienso que nos iría mejor si España desapareciera como nación, no sé, como parte de Alemania por ejemplo.

    • @r32guy85
      @r32guy85 4 года назад +2

      spain did a lot of amazing things in it's history

    • @yodef6828
      @yodef6828 4 года назад +3

      @@r32guy85 Among them, not falling apart completely

    • @TP-mb9rn
      @TP-mb9rn 4 года назад

      @@alejandrop.s.3942 pues antes de jodernos la soberanía a los demás lárgate tú a Alemania o guirilandia, y no toques los huevos desgraciaoh

    • @r32guy85
      @r32guy85 4 года назад

      @@alejandrop.s.3942
      Por qué piensas eso

  • @prakashghumaliya2002
    @prakashghumaliya2002 4 года назад +2

    Thank you for video sir

  • @hyperhumana
    @hyperhumana 4 года назад +3

    That "not making that up" part is the best.