Interesting topic...having it all.. I belong to a local organization and the founder's motto is something like this: You can have it all; you just can't have it all at the same time. This founder also talks about delegation because no matter who we are or what stage of life and business, delegating is an important skill to learn. If we constantly try to control everything, overwhelm can be inevitable. We all go through periods/times of our lives that certain things take precedence and other things take a back seat. When my husband was active duty military for a few years, there had to be one parent who was at home and able to handle everything while he was gone. I do love your ending statements that we can design a life that we love (but I don't think it means we can have it all). My choice to be a stay at home mom meant that my career did not progress in the way I imagined. I recognize this was a personal choice but it did mean trade offs in other areas (less income, not being involved in the professional work world for a number of years, etc...). I have to say that the military communities that we were in often displayed these traits/situations that you discuss - sharing a meal, helping another parent and on and on. I did not find that to be the case when we moved back to the 'civilian' world - people seemed to be busy with their own lives and less likely to step in. I think our human nature is also such that if we ask for help, we want to feel that we can repay the favor. Sometimes, I didn't ask for help because at the time I knew I could not reciprocate. Boundaries are also so important because every now and then you might encounter someone who is always asking and it can become burdensome. Perhaps my perspective is skewed by my age - I am 56 years old and I can't honestly say that I believe we can "have it all". I believe something suffers if we try to do it all (which was kind of your point - we can't DO it all but we can have it all by asking for help, etc..). I think we can have A LOT in our lives and learn to manage things by delegating and asking for help and sharing tasks with others but having it all would have been impossible for me when I was a young mom. Great video Lisa - really has made me think about it more and think about my daughter and daughter in law's lives as they pursue career and other goals.
Susan Loughnane you are wonderful! Thank you for adding to this conversation. I used to believe we could not have it all at the same time- but what experience has shown me, is that so many things TODAY can be figured out- I do think this point of distinction is an important one. I do not think as many opportunities were available in the past- I think the internet can allow women to make money in really unique ways that simply was not an option 20 or 30 years ago (even 10 years ago to be honest!) I so appreciate your insight
Elliot Kelly it is simply NOT NECESSARY. Motherhood is tiring, no doubt. It requires so much sacrifice- and moms need to watch their own self care as a result!
I have often thought this....the lack of community and support makes motherhood in general soooooo much harder than it used to be! Then add in a sort of “dual career” of both homemaking duties in addition to working, and it becomes overwhelming very, very quickly. But yet somehow it has become “the norm”. Mothers in general, but especially working moms, are just getting exhausted by this unsustainable model!
Christina Lebish I think everyone is exhausted by this unsustainable model!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for weighing in. It is a very important conversation to keep having!!!!!
I needed to hear this today. Thank you Lisa. Sometimes I feel like I should ignore my personal goals in order to prioritise my children’s goals and dreams... as if becoming a mother, and seeing it as a vocation is where I had to draw a line under anything I wanted to achieve. But I don’t think it’s enough for me to try and live vicariously through my children as if I have nothing else to offer the world myself. Will you pray for me please? I will definitely pray for you and your lovely family xx
Anna McCormick yes Anna!!!! You were created for something unique and specific that 100% includes motherhood, but also may include other pursuits as well. I think one of the goals of our time on earth is to walk as close as we can to our Lord in order to find out what that call is
Lisa, oh boy! (retyping this cause the first one my computer froze and didnt post the comment for me! gah!) - anyway, thank you for your passion on this topic. I want to ask one thing, HOW DO YOU FIND RELIABLE HELP? here are all the ways in which I have used your advice over the past year in seeking out help and delegating, and have been faced with UNRELIABLE HELP!!! It is hard enough for me to give up control, but it is not hard for me to seek and ask for help.....but when people don't show up.....MAN, that bugs me! Two cleaning ladies have been so unreliable. Grocery delivery has been 4-5 hour later than expected on multiple occasions. Click and Collect completely forgetting important items in my order MANY times. My closest relative, who we love dearly and completely trust for babysitting is choosing to move over 1 hour away. AND, to top it off, I so often ask my husband for help and he either complains or doesn't do it - "can you vacuum?" ......goes to bed....!!
I love everything you mentioned. It brought me to tears. Im going through so much right now as a single mom. My health is taking a toll of me. All my family say is to be strong. Toughen up. Im just very over whelmed. My job is stressful as well. I want to move from New York to Florida for a little more peace and closer to my dads father so I can have some balance in my life and get back to being healthy. Any tips you can offer?
I don’t like the phrasing here of “having it all” does that imply that a woman who is completely fulfilled by being a stay at home mom does not have it all? - sincerely a full time working mom who in no way feels she has it all
Can you relate to the tension that I am talking about in this video? Let me know below
Thank you for being honest! I am not a mom yet, but my dream is to be a mom and have a career! This gives such wonderful incite! Thank you so much!
I am so glad it resonated! Follow those dreams :)
Such an important topic! Thanks for shedding some light on this concept.
Love watching your videos 😉
Momjo thank you so much for watching ❤️
Interesting topic...having it all.. I belong to a local organization and the founder's motto is something like this: You can have it all; you just can't have it all at the same time. This founder also talks about delegation because no matter who we are or what stage of life and business, delegating is an important skill to learn. If we constantly try to control everything, overwhelm can be inevitable. We all go through periods/times of our lives that certain things take precedence and other things take a back seat. When my husband was active duty military for a few years, there had to be one parent who was at home and able to handle everything while he was gone. I do love your ending statements that we can design a life that we love (but I don't think it means we can have it all). My choice to be a stay at home mom meant that my career did not progress in the way I imagined. I recognize this was a personal choice but it did mean trade offs in other areas (less income, not being involved in the professional work world for a number of years, etc...). I have to say that the military communities that we were in often displayed these traits/situations that you discuss - sharing a meal, helping another parent and on and on. I did not find that to be the case when we moved back to the 'civilian' world - people seemed to be busy with their own lives and less likely to step in. I think our human nature is also such that if we ask for help, we want to feel that we can repay the favor. Sometimes, I didn't ask for help because at the time I knew I could not reciprocate. Boundaries are also so important because every now and then you might encounter someone who is always asking and it can become burdensome. Perhaps my perspective is skewed by my age - I am 56 years old and I can't honestly say that I believe we can "have it all". I believe something suffers if we try to do it all (which was kind of your point - we can't DO it all but we can have it all by asking for help, etc..). I think we can have A LOT in our lives and learn to manage things by delegating and asking for help and sharing tasks with others but having it all would have been impossible for me when I was a young mom. Great video Lisa - really has made me think about it more and think about my daughter and daughter in law's lives as they pursue career and other goals.
Susan Loughnane you are wonderful! Thank you for adding to this conversation. I used to believe we could not have it all at the same time- but what experience has shown me, is that so many things TODAY can be figured out- I do think this point of distinction is an important one. I do not think as many opportunities were available in the past- I think the internet can allow women to make money in really unique ways that simply was not an option 20 or 30 years ago (even 10 years ago to be honest!) I so appreciate your insight
Awesome video, Lisa!" Constant perpetual exhaustion" Preeeeaaach! I love it!😁
Elliot Kelly it is simply NOT NECESSARY. Motherhood is tiring, no doubt. It requires so much sacrifice- and moms need to watch their own self care as a result!
I needed to hear this… greetings from Ave Maria, fl
Amen Sister!
Jack Attack glad you agree ❤️
Great. Good wishes for you.
I have often thought this....the lack of community and support makes motherhood in general soooooo much harder than it used to be! Then add in a sort of “dual career” of both homemaking duties in addition to working, and it becomes overwhelming very, very quickly. But yet somehow it has become “the norm”. Mothers in general, but especially working moms, are just getting exhausted by this unsustainable model!
Christina Lebish I think everyone is exhausted by this unsustainable model!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for weighing in. It is a very important conversation to keep having!!!!!
I needed to hear this today. Thank you Lisa. Sometimes I feel like I should ignore my personal goals in order to prioritise my children’s goals and dreams... as if becoming a mother, and seeing it as a vocation is where I had to draw a line under anything I wanted to achieve. But I don’t think it’s enough for me to try and live vicariously through my children as if I have nothing else to offer the world myself. Will you pray for me please? I will definitely pray for you and your lovely family xx
Anna McCormick yes Anna!!!! You were created for something unique and specific that 100% includes motherhood, but also may include other pursuits as well. I think one of the goals of our time on earth is to walk as close as we can to our Lord in order to find out what that call is
You are absolutely right. I keep thinking I ought to do a Novena while this is on my heart. Thanks so much xxxx
Girl. I needed this.
So glad!
Heck yes!!
Lisa, oh boy! (retyping this cause the first one my computer froze and didnt post the comment for me! gah!) - anyway, thank you for your passion on this topic. I want to ask one thing, HOW DO YOU FIND RELIABLE HELP? here are all the ways in which I have used your advice over the past year in seeking out help and delegating, and have been faced with UNRELIABLE HELP!!! It is hard enough for me to give up control, but it is not hard for me to seek and ask for help.....but when people don't show up.....MAN, that bugs me! Two cleaning ladies have been so unreliable. Grocery delivery has been 4-5 hour later than expected on multiple occasions. Click and Collect completely forgetting important items in my order MANY times. My closest relative, who we love dearly and completely trust for babysitting is choosing to move over 1 hour away. AND, to top it off, I so often ask my husband for help and he either complains or doesn't do it - "can you vacuum?" ......goes to bed....!!
I love everything you mentioned. It brought me to tears. Im going through so much right now as a single mom. My health is taking a toll of me. All my family say is to be strong. Toughen up. Im just very over whelmed. My job is stressful as well. I want to move from New York to Florida for a little more peace and closer to my dads father so I can have some balance in my life and get back to being healthy. Any tips you can offer?
Love this! Thank you!❤
Thanks for watching! What resonated with you most?
Heckkk yessss!
Heck yes!
Heck Yeah!
off topic can we see florida living
Ketokonstructed soon i promise!!!!!!
A Stitch in time saves nine 😊
Random but, are you Trini or Guyanese?
Nope!
I don’t like the phrasing here of “having it all” does that imply that a woman who is completely fulfilled by being a stay at home mom does not have it all? - sincerely a full time working mom who in no way feels she has it all