Oh my gosh Molly, yes to ALL of these points! Can totally relate, especially to the trauma vs development questioning. We are 8 months in with our adopted little miss and I find myself questioning this point all the time and worrying about how to respond. Nice to know others do too! Thanks for sharing another great vid. So helpful for the adoption community 💜
My husband and I adopted 2yo boy in May this year. I really get what you say. (I have watched your video since we started the process. Thank you so much.) Every day is different, but today was one of the hardest days. I took him to a playgroup at a children centre (he has been going there 2 times every week for 1 month. He did not want to go in today. He had a challenging behaivour. It looked like he had associated the staff at children centre with social workers? It seem like it was a traumatic response. I kept telling him the ladies there are nice...Later he calmed down. It is so hard to decide if I should stop going there because he is destressed,(showing all sorts of stuff eg; headhanging, scratching his own arms, my arms....especially ladies came and talked to me) or not giving up because it helps him to see other children/people... I feel like the attachment with me reverse his social skills. He did not care about me before, now he is scared of being 1m away from me at places like there.
Oh bless him. That’s so hard. I know the feeling well! I wouldn’t be surprised if attachment changed as he adjusts to his new surroundings, people etc. remember there is always post adoption support to consult.
Just found your channel and I’m so glad. Thank you 😊 Relating to one of your points, have you found that others think they’re “experts” on adoption, including comments like “you need to get them as young as possible to prevent them being traumatized” and other gems? They always say it with so much authority too and there’s always a horror story floating around of “a friend of a friend” to warn you about the life wrecking decision you’re about to make? I’m in Stage 1 and it’s driving me mad at the moment. I’m going to only share with a super small number of people now moving forward. 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve not had any ‘experts’ in our network luckily but I’ve had some negative comments that I quickly set boundaries with. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. It’s very frustrating but an opportunity to educate and/or set a firm boundary that those opinions aren’t welcome x
@@MollyMamaAdopt thanks molly. 🙏🏼 another quick question relating to your other video…On LinkFinder, does it include any details on behaviour issues and a photo etc? Or is it quite vague? Also, was your decision to wait til after adoption leave, to take him to daycare, a personal one, or one that’s required? I’m adopting as a single mum…excited but nervous (sorry for all the questions).
Nursery wise, we were advised to wait at least 6-9 months so attachment could form with us and he could become accustomed to his new routine. We also agreed with it though and he really did need a lot of time at home with us before going off to nursery
Although I've always wanted to adopt. Ive only just starting looking into futher details(not planning to do so for at least 3yr). Can anyone recommend youtube chanels (plz only inc ones that don't show the child online).
Oh my gosh Molly, yes to ALL of these points! Can totally relate, especially to the trauma vs development questioning. We are 8 months in with our adopted little miss and I find myself questioning this point all the time and worrying about how to respond. Nice to know others do too! Thanks for sharing another great vid. So helpful for the adoption community 💜
You're obviously doing an amazing job Molly. I'm sure your son adores you.
That’s so kind Angela, thank you. I really hope so - I adore him so much!
This is so helpful as we are going through the adoption process at stage 1. Thank you
Yet you have forge a happy family, and now you are inspiring many people interested in the world of adoption
My husband and I adopted 2yo boy in May this year. I really get what you say. (I have watched your video since we started the process. Thank you so much.)
Every day is different, but today was one of the hardest days. I took him to a playgroup at a children centre (he has been going there 2 times every week for 1 month. He did not want to go in today. He had a challenging behaivour. It looked like he had associated the staff at children centre with social workers? It seem like it was a traumatic response. I kept telling him the ladies there are nice...Later he calmed down.
It is so hard to decide if I should stop going there because he is destressed,(showing all sorts of stuff eg; headhanging, scratching his own arms, my arms....especially ladies came and talked to me) or not giving up because it helps him to see other children/people...
I feel like the attachment with me reverse his social skills. He did not care about me before, now he is scared of being 1m away from me at places like there.
Oh bless him. That’s so hard. I know the feeling well! I wouldn’t be surprised if attachment changed as he adjusts to his new surroundings, people etc. remember there is always post adoption support to consult.
Just found your channel and I’m so glad. Thank you 😊 Relating to one of your points, have you found that others think they’re “experts” on adoption, including comments like “you need to get them as young as possible to prevent them being traumatized” and other gems? They always say it with so much authority too and there’s always a horror story floating around of “a friend of a friend” to warn you about the life wrecking decision you’re about to make? I’m in Stage 1 and it’s driving me mad at the moment. I’m going to only share with a super small number of people now moving forward. 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve not had any ‘experts’ in our network luckily but I’ve had some negative comments that I quickly set boundaries with. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. It’s very frustrating but an opportunity to educate and/or set a firm boundary that those opinions aren’t welcome x
@@MollyMamaAdopt thanks molly. 🙏🏼 another quick question relating to your other video…On LinkFinder, does it include any details on behaviour issues and a photo etc? Or is it quite vague? Also, was your decision to wait til after adoption leave, to take him to daycare, a personal one, or one that’s required? I’m adopting as a single mum…excited but nervous (sorry for all the questions).
@@Emily-pd5fu my experience of Link Maker was that there were photos and a lot of info about medical, behavioural etc to give you a brief overview.
Nursery wise, we were advised to wait at least 6-9 months so attachment could form with us and he could become accustomed to his new routine. We also agreed with it though and he really did need a lot of time at home with us before going off to nursery
Although I've always wanted to adopt. Ive only just starting looking into futher details(not planning to do so for at least 3yr). Can anyone recommend youtube chanels (plz only inc ones that don't show the child online).
Do you need a spare room to adopt? ❤
@@toniwilliams7193 usually, yes, but I’m unsure if this has changed over the last four years.
Ce buze senzuale ai❤