If Bible Characters Took Uber - John Crist
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- Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024
- "Jonah? Look like you're headed to Nineveh?" Standup comedian John Crist imagines what it would be like if Bible Characters took Uber!
John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit http:www.johncristcomedy.com
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David with all the instruments 😂😂😂
Pink Sparkly Batman That was my favorite part! 😂😂😂
I love how he’s still back there, rocking out, 10 passengers later.
We're getting the band back together 😁 lol 😂
Pink Sparkly Batman best one
"GPS is acting up. Do you know the way?"
"Yeah, I'm the Way."
"What's up?"
"What?"
Do you know da wae? lol
Haha
Ironically they’ll end up in the right place lol
Did I stutter?
@@carlsiouxfalls lol
Uber Driver: The GPS is up do you know the way?
Jesus: I am the way
That is so genius 😂
Misty Hendrix funny cuz its true lol
I guess Jesus knows where to go
Biscuit Boy lol
Uganda knuckles: Do u know da wae?
When Abraham said "I gotta pick up my son first" 😂🙊
Lol 😂
AND the driver said: "Oh, fun!" 😂
Yeah best part!
I got all the references except Shadrach
I almost cracked a rib!! 😂😭
The Prodigal Son is every college student ever.
You went there😂😂
Chendemonium omg yes!
Omg lol
Yeah I remember the excitation I felt leaving home and then 2 years later all I wanted to do was go home
Don't forget the Prodigal daughter
Funny and still respectful to our religion.....this is how it should be
Do Muhammad next.
@@Cjnw I think only a practicing Muslim would know how to make funny Koran jokes that were still respectful
I'm Jewish. I feel left out :(
Agreed🙏🏾
@@melissasaint3283 Which is where most of the "third rail" jokes, _inter alia_ ethnic or religious jokes, fall flat lest memory fails me. Hence the saying "we don't joke about Muslims because we don't know shit about Muslims."
"I'm not- no I'm not Jesus, he's in the car behind us." 😂😂😂
Christy Northup 😂😂😂
Christy Northup My favorite one😭
That took me out 😭😭😭
I liked that one too
I wanted John to point out the window and yell, “Look! The Lamb of God!”
“I’m not gonna Michael Scott this thing” 😂😂
I dont get it
@@jlsgarage872 there's an episode of The Office where Michael Scott drives into a lake because the GPS told him to turn early.
@@joelcampos8795 ohhh ok
I don’t get that part.
Glittering White We’re gonna Moses this thing!
They need one where Dwayne Johnson comes in, acting as Peter.
Driver: "whoa man, you're a big guy! Peter right?"
Peter: "Yeah I'm the Rock"
😂
Ahhh i see what you did there
😂😂😂
That would have been amazing
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Give yourself a high five if you understood all of the references! Woohoo! :)
Need more info on the Paul to Saul reference
I don't understand the Paul not Saul one
I didn't get the Paul one, for some reason I had a brain fart
Everyone struggled on the Paul one
I didn't know the Michael Scott reference
Saul?
No it’s Paul now. Long story.
😂
S'all good man.
🤪
That's the only one I know lmao
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 my fav part
I guess he picked him up on the road to Damascus
John The Baptist:
Are you Jesus ?
No, he's coming behind me.😅
That was awesome
I found it the funniest part 😂😂😂
😂 best part for sure.
"I am the way"
"What"
I love how he looked visibly confused and then started to realize!
I like how you both have LoZ profile pics!
No way you understand these deep jokes without a consistant knowledge of the scriptures
Agreeeee 😊
Yep
i love ya thisss
Hope sunday keepers will wake up before jesus shall burn them because you have rejected knowlesge i will also.reject you
read 1 the serr of patmos haskell 2 daniel.and.the revelation uriah smith
Or you just grew up in church
It’s sad the people who say they love God don’t have a sense of humor.
This just made my day!
Keiana Monique I was laughing when it got to the part with Joseph interpreting the dream and the water to wine instead of a tip
thenarnianhufflepuff that’s so funny how you commented because I was just telling my friend about this video. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 This was funny for real lol
Don't mind them joh. Jesus had a good sense of humor and he was savage!
God has a wonderful sense of humor.
Even God has a sense of humor. It’s where we get ours! Have you watched baby elephants 🐘 or penguins play? He has so much love for His creation.
John crushed it as usual!
Only thing is that the Bible says that the Smell of Smoke was NOT on them when they came out of the fiery furnace.
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH -insert clip of dudes saying “ohh”- 😂
Hehhehe
Volt I was thinking the same thing
I was going to comment the same thing haha
Volt Vortex I was trying not to say that but you did so I’m chiming in 😂
"We gotta pick up my son."
"Oh, fun."
*insert Jim looking at camera here*
This was the funniest one to me like soo funny omg.
His face at 1:31 😇...😂😂😂😂😂
This was the best part. Genius!
dragonborn lvl. 78 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Technically, Shadrach didn’t even smell like smoke when he came out of the furnace, but it’s still funny😂
True
Yup Daniel 3:27 I think
I thought that too but hey, still funny.
Facts!
I thought that, too.
This is so cleverly written I am in awe not even kidding
I love your name 🤗
Absolutely
It's all plagerized from the Bible...
make sure to watch his iPhone one, too :)
@@seniorsmiles3386 and that's what makes it awesome 🤗
"Saul?"
"No it's PAUL, long story."
Uber driver: "You're not my client" *leaves*
“Hey, please don’t kill me”
yeah paul made me guffaw
@Baribefe Kpurubu he had probably created his uber account under the name Saul, then couldn't change it. after his road to Damascus experience, when God changed his name to Paul, he kept the same account. so every time his uber account comes up, it still says Saul. it would have been a long story.
The part where Joseph’s like “get me out of here his wife is putting herself on me!!”😂😂😂😂
Jospeh is screwded 😂😂
@@lpsgalaxy2463no, from what I understand he managed to escape that.
You actually have to know the Bible a bit to get every reference lol
Yep. Daniel's fast was a deep cut 😄
Lol yeah all the basics.
And the Office apparently
I think you actually need to know more than a bit lol
Definitely Erika. You can't b a casual Christian. You have to actually have read the Bible and semi understand it. Sadly if u ask most Christians they have no clue what is in the Bible.
Pontius Pilote. Hand sanitizer to wash his hands off 🤣🤣
Throwing MAD shade 2000 years later hahahaha
Ok I didn't get it
I do now but not then
I totally missed that one. Good reading saint
@@stevenmatteson6163 😂😂😂😂 it was so funny
@@RedstoneCommand 😂😂
David was back there jammin 😂😂
Joyful noise😊😊😊😊
I love that one. I just couldn't...😂😂
Lot : " Whatever you do DONT look in the rearview mirror...."
I'm done
I like that reference. :)))
@@danubius21 I dont get it
@@danubius21 nevermind I was thinking of job
This one took me out 😂😂😂
@@d.j.w2600 when lot and his wife were ordered not to look back 😂
I just love how the Uber Driver is just chill with everything.
OPA ARTS Just another normal day as an Uber driver haha!
Until David keeps playing his instruments!
Joseph: *sits down*
Driver:"Hey man, while I've got you in the car, I have to ask... you see I've been havin this dream..."
Joseph: "Okayyy, here we go again."😂😂
😄😄😄😄😄
One of the best ones.
I was so suicidal and depressed and this video made me genuinely laugh for the first time in days. Thank you
John Christ is awesome like that! Hope you're feeling better ♥️♥️😊😊
Depression sucks and hope you get support and love from those around you. I also recommend Jon Christs' entire playlist. He is very good.
Oforlikelalune hope you’re feeling better today. ♥️ sending you love ♥️. Just prayed for you. Xoxo
It's a hard thing to deal with, but trust me when I say God will see you through if you hold on. I too, have (and at times) suffered from the same thing, but God has gotten me through. If you ever need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to reach out.
God bless you dear. May God keep you strong. Talk to him always. Doesn’t have to be like oh I’m praying. Just tell him how you feel and I promise he’ll come through one way or another. He’s with you always, through good or bad and through sad or happy. Stay blessed. Love you and praying for you.
The Uber driver definitely deserves a 5-Star rating😂
😂
I want to see this with biblical ladies!!!!! “Mary?” “No I’m the OTHER Mary “ “Jael? What’s with the spike?”
Yes!! 10pts for my girl Jael! Mary in the back worshipping to some gospel on headphones, Martha up in the passenger seat trying to wipe off the dashboard. Driver asks Esther where to go, she says she'll tell him after the stop for lunch, then for a *second* lunch. Maybe Elijah's widow says she'll fill up the tank for him, and only puts *just enough* to get them there. ^__^
@@JhadeSagrav and Eve just snacking on an apple then going "want some?"
@@morganatorricelli1413 Lol
Driver: Esther
Sarah: No
I need to Find d Son I Born in old Age, Him and His Father went out and Not Yet back
Driver: Okay Sarah.
Salome, what's with the platter?
Uber driver: looks like we're going to Nineveh
Jonah: actually can you like take me in the opposite direction.
Car suddenly can only go forward turning and reverse mechanisms no longer work.
God in heaven: sips tea silently
😅
😁 oh he going alright
😂👍
I was expecting a joke about Jesus riding in on a donkey. “Why is everyone throwing their coats at my car!!??”
Jacob Sabastian ahahah that’s a good one
That’s good
That’s a good one
That would be absolutely hilarious!
I loved the driver’s facial expressions and reactions especially to David playing music. 🤣😂🤣
Yeah, I shared this video with a description saying, "I don't think David will be getting a very good rating." 😂
(Prodigal) Take me back to my dad's house...😂🤣🤣
Omg this is like a compilation of Christian inside jokes
Riiight!!!😁
so is John's whole career!
This is hilarious. I so needed that.
I tHinK yOu mean omgSH Lollllll
This isnt funny. God is Just and Holy. This isnt a joke.
The Judas one was so accurate 😂.
I didn't get that one? Is it because Judas is considered a thief or greedy? Is this before he betrayed Jesus or after?
Jill Johnson John 12:6 brings out that Judas carried the money box and he stole from it. Hope this helps!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
That one killed me
he doesnt give tips, he takes instead
"Saul?"
"No it's Paul, actually."
Long story😂😂😂
Trifling Judas at the end has me rolling 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭
😂😂
Haha
Why did he drop the glass? What was he trying to do?
Sugarrific
He was trying to steal it.
"No way I'm gonna Michael Scott this thing" 🤣
You would have to see that Office episode to get that joke. I like jokes that require us to be smart.
Lol I thought I was the only one who heard this and actually got it
That killed me 😂😂😂😂
I just watched a bunch of The Office videos!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Explain ??
"Okay it was one time...why does every one always ask me that?"
*Dies internally
I need at least three days to resurrect after that one.
what does it mean
@Prietta
It refers to when Jesus turned water to wine😂
And now he's being asked to do it over and over again😂
That was hilarious 😂
Lazarus one made me 😆 He’s thinking like, “Man, you have no idea! BTW Can you stop by Chik-fil-A? I haven’t eaten in LITERALLY three days!”
Ashen Silverlake 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽
sorry, can't it's sunday
Laxarus be like "Bro, I don't even know how to answer..."
"Are you okay?"
"I am _now."_
😂🤣
I LOVE THE PART WHEN...
Driver: DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?
JESUS: I AM THE WAY
😆😆
Uber driver: "Hello."
Joshua: "Okay, this is gonna sound weird, but me and my buddies have to circle that there city 7 times or until the walls come tumbling down."
Uber drive: "...hmmm? Do you know Moses?"
Joshua: "Yea great guy."
😁
J yup. That should have been on there
pardon me, sir, who's this joshua? i mean which one?
@@lanselocher9029Do you Bible Bro?
It should be clear by the circling 7 times line.
@@JChannel_ so it's the one of whom Moses asked to spy right?
@@lanselocher9029 Must be.
"Can you take me to Home Depot for some supplies?" Oh how Noah wished !
When Joseph stepped in with the colorful cloak I laughed so hard.
I know he was supposed to have lost it previously but still funny.
I'm pretty sure that was just so we would know who he was. 😊
This was funny and hilarious. I so needed that laughter. Thanks for it! Can you do a sequel with female characters?
Alysia Victoria Parker omg he should.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Mary: yeah can you take me to the stable back there? I’m about to give birth lol
@@bubonicp1eb836 lol Sarah:hey can you drop me off at the local cvs or Walgreens I need a pregnancy test.
Vashti: airport please I'm headed out of the East to the West!
Ruth: can you take me to Boaz's place but can you make sure you wait around til I text you when I'm leaving?
Eve: grocery store please. I need to get some seasoning for my meals
Esther leaving immigration office. Driver: Hadassah? Esther: that's actually me but call me esther? Thanks
Alysia Victoria Parker (Lots Wife) Edith *wearing sunglasses* don’t turn around or I’ll turn you to stone... *sits in awkward silence* “what....”
They just illustrate every Bible Characters in a very specific yet humorous one. 😊
They nailed it!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣omg
"It was just 1time, why does everyone always ask me?! '
"Saul? " "No, its Paul now dude"
Would you mind explain me the part of Jesus? I didn't get it '''
@@garrettevans9193 ohh okay now I get it thanks XD
Uber Driver: “Where we headed?”
Moses: “Egypt. Is that ok?” 😂
*hands Jesus water* “Can you umm..”
Jesus- “It was a one time thing”
I didn't get this joke
@@enduranceadesotu8764 turning water into wine
lol okay okay
Jesus has done many miracles when He was in earth.
Read the Bible
“Ya i gotta pick up my son”
“Oh fun”
“Ye....”
THATS MY FAVORITE ONE 😂
"So Joseph, have to ask... I've been having this dream..."
"OH COME ON!!"
..."About a wheat field..." on the floor laughing LOL
Can we get John Crist and Tim Hawkins together? That would be gold
there are 2 John Crist and Tim Hawkins do "The Tweet Song" videos
They toured together years ago.
There on RUclips together.
Elijah Shriner Elijah I was literally just thinking about Tim Hawkins. Saw him in concert at church several years ago. Laughed until I was in tears. He is one funny Christian comedian. 😇
I want to see John Crist and Shama Llama together! 🙏🙂
When Judas left with all the tips he stole from the driver.. It got me hahaha that was hilarious😂
The Jesus part was epic!!!
“Do you know the way?”
Jc= “I’m the way”
😂😂
Bukunmi A Lol at abbreviating Him to JC ... imagine if we were all friends with Jesus “Ayyyooooo, JC!!!”
@@asiajohnson4609 In Heaven 😇
Man, that Bible reading plan really worked. I understood all the references.
*FUN FACT* : With the WISE MEN. IT IS NOT SAID IN BIBLE THAT THERE WAS 3. It is assumed because of the 3 gifts presented at Christs birth. The gold, frankincense, and myrh.
Really? Can you show the part?
@@maou7222 my brother search in the bible. Thats all. You wont find the word 3 wise men.
@Jimmi K well im sorry to ruin your own conscience friend. But. #1. I never claimed the bible was true. (Not good to assume)
#2 the bible IS true and one day you'll figure this out on your death bed. Id be afraid if i was you.
#3. The one way to get to heaven is to believe on Jesus Christ and to do that... Is to clearly understand why you need to. Because youve sinned. And because of your sins. You die.
But Jesus came. And died in your place so you can have a home with him and his father. God loves you. And i encourage you to learn of him.
@Jimmi K sorry you feel that way.
@Jimmi K where you from? What do you do?
I was hoping Jesus was sleeping peacefully at the back, during a very rainy bumpy ride
xD ur funnnyyyyyyy
And here I’m thinking
He didn’t put “Jesus take the wheel” in this video haha
"It was ONE TIME! Why does everyone always ask me that?"
ROTFL
I'm not going to "Michael Scott" this thing.... Best line
@Greg Lamont I don't get it. Who is Michael Scott?
From The Office (US)
Google Michael Scott and you'll see.
@@bemak78 season 4
That got me too
Whatever you do, do NOT look in the rear view mirror"! 😂
Driver: I accept tips.
Judas (looks at the money and the door handle first) : Tips gone.
😂😂
LET'S GET LIT!!!!
...take me back to my dad's house.
hines862009 😁😂
#sorelatable LOL
This guy is Genius! I Never Thought the Bible Could Be Soo Fun!
kathleen Wharton the bible is very beautiful, more much than these jokes, if you will ask GOD to help you snc open your eyed. You'll see how beautiful it is.
@@oizapeters stop being too serious and boring. Who said Kathleen is not an elightened Christian? She is saying these men make the bible fun. That does not equate to her not knowing her bible or not being close to Christ. Stop it please. You will be shocked to discover Kathleen is even more closet to God than you are. Stop spoiling the fun here.
@@Executive_Essy and besides, both perspectives are correct. The bible is meant to be taken seriously (since its THE living Word of God after all) but also fun, its everything combined.
Living with Jesus is even way more fun! Just DO it.
kathleen Wharton 😅😇Praise God 💖 Amen
Driver: Instead of a tip, maybe you could just help me out a little bit.
*show water bottle*
Jesus: Oh.. okay... It was one time!
Hahahahaha!!! It's great xD
Water into wine. Very good.
I originally thought it was supposed to be a reference to desiring living water more than regular water, but the water-into-wine miracle makes better sense with the “It was one time” part!
😂it’s called a joyful noise... ever heard of it?
That was my favorite 😂
uuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........................
Judas: you are an amazing driver my friend, 5 stars for you!
Uber driver: damn, thanks Judas!
Judas: *rates 1 star*
😂😂😂💔🤣😅
Betrayal!!!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Rob him of his stars too
praise God for these guys sense of humour 😂😂😂😂😂😂
"I gotta pick up my son."
"Ah fun!"
When David started playing the uke and the tambourine in the backseat. I lost it. 😂
Tambourine- let's be honest, this is a Christian instrument
Becca Schwager 🤣😂🤣so true
Preach it 🙌🏽😂
I hollered!
Ex 15:20 NLT
Then Miriam the prophet, Aaron’s sister, took a tambourine and led all the women as they played their tambourines and danced. :-)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Joseph: Dude, you gotta go now, this dude Potiphar"s wife is just on me bro...go!
😂😂😂
When you guess all the references and feel like such a good Christian 😇
Except most of these are the Old Testament which dont define Christianity.
@@kevinzhang3313 Jesus Himself was a Rabbi, studying all of the old testament (aka Torah) and taking part in the Jewish holy days, so indeed, it is integral to our history as Christians. Jesus tells us that the old law cannot be separated from the new (he spoke of the 10 commandments). He referened the old testament in His teachings, therefore binding old testament and new testament together. It is one holy bible, with prophecies of our Messiah throughout the old, so it is wholely ours as Christians given from God.
Hold on .....is dt guy dead? Good Samaritan........Everything so accurate. I love this so so
@@kevinzhang3313 relax, the old testament is important to Christians, it compliment's Jesus' coming
When you guess all the references AND spot the erroneous one which is not even IN the Bible even though everyone continues to reference it ....
(John the Baptist gets in)
Uber Driver: I know you, I know you... uhhh, Jesus?
John the Baptist (flatly): Uh, no.
Uber Driver (awkwardly): Oh... sorry.
John the Baptist: Mah, it's ok - I get it all the time. He is coming though!
I have now watched and laughed at over 50 videos of John!..... intentional time-outs from all the seriousness in life RightNow! Thank you Lord for the gift of laughter you give through John! Abundant blessings on him and his team!
Uber driver: where ya headed?
Elijah:
To the Cave!!!! That crazy woman is trying to kill me and I'm all alone out in these streets!!
Jezebel tho
Lol
No Isaiah? He walked naked for 3 years.
Thomas. He doubts he knows where he is going.
Hosea. Take me to a brothel for a wife.
Gideon. Pick me up when it is dark.
Maybe they'll be a part two, hopefully 🤞
Thomas would've been perfect. Hahaha I can hear him questioning the driver, if he's really a driver. Wants to see the driver's license, Uber certificate hahahaha....
A second one with Moses- wandering.
Joshua- around Jericho.
Samson- Hair/Delilah.
Here we go: Pastor of a Mega-Church prays and prays to make a HUGE impact for God and he hears: "Remember Isaiah? Guess what you are doing for the next three years?" 😆😂
Isaiah would have been hilarious to watch
Uber driver: so where are we going?
Simon Peter: just go , He was right , the rooster has done it's job and I've done mine
Noah should've had a bunch of animals to ride with em.
Pontius Pilate and the hand sanitizer got me lol 😂😂😂
Him: follow the North Star
Outside: it's day
Me:😂😂
*Daniel* looking for vegetables or nuts hahaha
And Moses and his rod up in the driver's face
I actually didn’t get that one! Still don’t. What’s the story there...
Can you do If Bible Characters Were Guests on Talk Shows?
Up
😂😂😂😂😂 so much content
I wanna see him do this actually
definitely watching that if he does it!! 😂😂
J.D. Wilkes genios
I’m not even religious & all these inside jokes are going over my head, but I love this energy 😂😊
East of Eden
I’m only getting the jokes cause I was raised Christian (though I’m not religious now) but I can definitely agree this dude is hilarious .
I only study religion and I only get some of these. I need to read the Bible
Nice to see nonreligious people saying good things about this video. Some comments I've seen have been so rude and I don't get it - he's not shoving a Bible down your throat. It's supposed to be funny 😂
And I find the jokes fall a little flat. I mean I guess there's a little comedic value in the modernization of something into an uber situation but for the most part I feel like the video is meant to make people laugh to demonstrate that they understood it rather than because it was a really cleaver take. There were a couple that were worth a chuckle, like the water into wine situation though even that doesn't fit the context well as it couldn't be legally consumed while driving which is the whole setup.
Why do people keep substituting "Christian" for religious?
"David" didn't even need to say anything. This instruments had me 🤣🤣
Jesus: "That was one time" lol the water bottle. I needed the laugh today.
Right? So clever. "Help me out?"
Okay guys not gonna lie, this is the best-deep jokes ever. I just love it so much😂
“for the record, don’t look in that rearview mirror.” HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Thank you for nailing every story! Well done, BOTH of you!! Poor driver, how he kept a straight face.😂
Not only is this video awesomely creative and funny, but the comments....hysterical. What we all need is a great anointed laugh
I almost spit out ice black tea when I saw Lazarus oh my God. Great guys !!!
@Superhero123Kaleb oh no, it was not in that way. I almost "burst out" of laughing I meant. Thanks though
SuperYeet433 Huh? Please explain.
"Do you mind if we just... can I add a stop? We just gotta pick up my son."
"Oh fun."
😂😂😂
Thank U 4 This Video, Jon,
U Were Testing Me In My Knowledge Of The Bible Characters.
LOL hand sanitizer for pontius pilate i'm dead
dosentmeanforever17 GENIUS hahaha
I am physically incapable of laughing hard enough to do this justice.
I LAUGHED from the moment I saw NOAH - and then you basically finished me with the home depot bit 😂😭 been in STITCHES throughout the video .. I am cryyyyyyyn right now, you don't understand 😭😭😂😂🔥🔥💛
ALSO .. JESUS 😂😭😭😂 .. 'I am the way' .. and THE WINE!!
DAVID and his joyful noise 😭😭😂🙌
this video is so good!! I am pretty sure I am going to be watching this SO MANY TIMES a day!! o man ..!
Had a draining day. Saw this. Smiled through the whole thing! 😄Thanks guys! I needed that.❤
Please do another collab with Trey! If Bible Characters Had iPhones part 2!
Omg I'm dying.... If social media was a thing back then... I'm imagining status updates by people from the bible
"The GPS wants me to go through the water"
"Yeah, that's fine straight ahead we're good"
"I'm not gonna Michael Scott this thing"
Didn't know they had The Office back then! lol
I didn't know they had Ubers back then either.
They also didn't have cars.