Yes, I'm an italian man and I feel very alienated by these videos that I'm watching for curiosity. Sometimes the new generations of italian girls even want to pay all the bills. My experience: Most of the time on the first date they insist for a 0/100, they want to estabilish theyr indipendency and they pay anything. I try to be a provider in other ways: mostly physical, pragmatical, and emotional. BTW our cultures are very different: healthcare and prices first of all.
I hold ALL races of men to my same high standards. Period. Provide, protect and adore me to the moon and back. In return, you get my admiration and respect.
Exactly!!! And what they don’t understand is how our feminine nurturing comes out 10 fold when we’re being provided for. We actually* have the energy to be in our divine feminine. It’s a win win for everyone when the man provides!
Please listen to Chloe ladies. I have a masters degree and a good career, but during pregnancy I had to be put on bed rest. If my husband was not a provider we would have been ruined. Now we have kids I am a stay at home mom. That 50/50 stuff is cute UNTIL you have babies!
@@babycoconuttrust me mothering and working is exhausting. Then they have the nerve to have expectations of you beyond that. I tell you I have learned it is just better to be on my own. No thanks
A woman who's the main breadwinner is better off being single and hiring a nanny/housekeeper then keeping a stay at home husband. He's absolutely useless.
NEVER provide for a man! He'll come to despise you later. I know, it happened to me. Thank God I walked away from the lost fool I dated years ago. I'm now married to a provider husband - the difference is clear. I look younger, my health has improved, and I am always wearing a smile on my face.
Something like that had happened to Shakira, she’s one of the richest, famous, hardworking, passionate and beautiful people on the planet, but her man still had the audacity to cheat on her.
I learned the HARD WAY to not date based off of “ potential “. My ex ( then boyfriend ) lost his job and I loaned him money to pay his rent. He turned around and disrespected me by calling me out my name, he cheated on me with his “ best friend “, and he never paid me back the money he owed. NEVER SETTLE LADIES !
I'm learning that many men find it emasculating to be with a woman that doesn't need his money. They also find it pretty emasculating to be offered financial advice/support. I don't loan money to boyfriends but I have tried with my male relatives in the past.
I'm learning to save my money & time by letting men do whatever they already planned to do when they are in a financial bind. It also soothes their self esteem when I don't express too much concern.
I have never sent one penny to my fiance but yet he desires me so deeply and does everything he can to please me. You don't have to try and buy any man if he truly wants you.
American Men are gonna realize AMERICAN WOMEN ARE THEIR BEST BET 😂 There’s plenty of American women who will go 50/50. These men go to these countries to find a DISCOUNT and then get embarrassed. Ladies it’s HYPERGAMY OR NOTHING. Either he wants to Lead, Protect and Provide or he doesn’t.
In my culture there is nothing like 50 50, he has to provide or get lost, although the men want to learn this bad habit from what they see outside but we are not having it.unfortunately some women do fall prey though to these dusties, but the general conception here is that he has to do it alll
Ugh i was a single wife and when I complained women (yep black ones) would always say I should just be happy to have a husband. Like what?? Weird thing is I'm less exhausted now that he's gone. Ladies please choose better and don't give these lazy bums your energy, time and body.
Ladies listen, I am Dutch/European and live in the Netherlands. Most women here are liberal feminists, highly educated, NOT feminine but harsh, and indoctrinated with the 50/50 mindset. I don’t even go around saying I have a provider boyfriend (he’s from the USA) because I’ll be labelled a goal digger or whatever. It’s not so common here and women lead with their careers, stay at home moms are looked down upon. So, just to let you know.. it’s not some provider male utopia over here. Going Dutch is the norm.
50/50 was even named after your culture, goddamn. Here in the UK it's the norm too, but very rarely you can find an old school provider English guy. I stick to Georgians, well my first Georgian bf actually. He's really a man.
Why did that happen over there in the Netherlands like that? That being said yes please be careful and don’t tell anyone you are being provided for. Women like that deep down will feel very jealous if they find out
@@Speechiegirl1 it’s not just here, but most neighbouring countries too. Only eastern countries in Europe adhere to traditional values as they’re mostly Christian. Europe is a liberal shithole.
Although 50/50 still sucks, there are more social protections for women in place in the Netherlands to where it’s more understandable that it’s socially acceptable. Here in the US, motherhood puts so many women into poverty, that it’s absurd we accept 50/50 as standard. We have no universal healthcare, no federally mandated paid maternity leave, and relatively few tax subsidies for people with children. Childcare is so expensive and unsubsidized unless you’re VERY poor. Since our government does not care to help support new mothers, we have to insist that the fathers step in to fill the gap. 50/50 is not the way.
@Victoria S Very well explained. I think if I was American, I would marry one of those super religious Southern bible thumpers, talking about God every every five minutes. At least they know what a man should be doing.
These passport bros are going to learn the hard way that women are the same all over the world & will always have expectations. Even if foreign women appear to be more “submissive” that submission will come at a price.
Its our nature, just as is all men's to want to be a dominant male. Our ovaries tell us our future babies and us will starve to death if we dare say hello to a broke man.
I made a video on passport bros and they were so bitter that I had a provider man while they had to go and travel just to get someone to even look at them and even then they still weren't getting great results !!😂 They were so mad in my comment section
I live in the UK and had a relationship with a Danish man who out earned me by miles. He wanted and expected a 50/50 relationship. We discussed moving in together, but after experiencing his dusty ways, I quickly realised I’d end up with a large portion of responsibilities - cooking, cleaning, household admin, while also being expected to go 50/50 (with no adjustment for the fact he earned more than me)! Let me tell you, my libido disappeared. This man couldn’t get up for his high paying job in finance and was made ‘redundant’ basically asked to leave before he was fired. I knew I had to run when I asked him how he’d describe me and the first word out of his mouth was ‘strong’ because I knew then he saw me as a workhorse. I’m a black woman, and I was certain I’d be better off alone than in a relationship with a bum with no direction. Take this as a cautionary tale ladies. Date wisely, watch the actions of the man and not the words because people will have you thinking you’re crazy for having standards. I’m now in therapy, because that relationship drained me and I knew I needed to work on myself before dating again. Therapy and this channel have opened my eyes!
I went on a date with a Danish guy who suggested this 50/50 nonsense and I ghosted him after just one date, which I told him he's paying for. The strangest thing was that he had gone out with a Ugandinian girl who had explained to him that men are expected to provide in Africa. He explained it much better to me than I could have, having left Africa as a child. And still he was saying this. I felt I did a service for the world because he will think very carefully before going after those 'gentle African girls'.
@@chipwanderlust113 I’m glad you didn’t entertain the foolishness! It’s very strange behaviour, they want all the privileges without the effort or investment.
All I heard that woman's husband say is, " I dont want to work hard, because my sleep is more important." He looks like he has low testosterone and is completely checked out!
Chile I also didn't hear a damn thing he said except what you say you heard😂. The whole thing just sounded rehearsed like this is the statement he's got ready for whenever someone calls him out on his laziness and he's sticking to it. Nothing said to him will sway him😂 Broke and stubborn eeew.
I’ve been this woman in my first marriage. They DONT change I promise you. They don’t care. They really don’t. He is okay with being in the back. Get out before he leaves you because he WILL leave you eventually and you’ll have to add that to the list of everything else he did to you.
So true ! Same reason I escaped my first marriage! It’s said that the only thing you can change is a man’s diaper because you can’t/will not change anything else!
In Islam A Muslim man that tells a woman to help him … needs to be single. It’s in the religion to be the provider even if woman works her money her money she can contribute to little things if she wants … his money is the families for the household and to give his wife to clothe herself and buy what she want for herself … regardless if she has her own money
Yep in many religions I believe that is the case but all too many like to overlook it. But they will push being submissive and for women to be helpers.
@@flashylights I agree, and at first they act like they are masculine and providers and protectors … but when in relationship with them .. they turn around and tell you to go 50/50😅 that’s why we need men of God and need to vet thoroughly, I mean speaking from personal experience the more my ex asked me to help him and encouraged me to work the more I started visualising he had a vagina and cut off intercourse completely he would say no friend of mine or man I know doesn’t have his woman working and contributing to do things together … excuse me do what?… I just thought … because you have never met a real man and surrounded by beta males ..dating pick me women, trust me I would rather be single for life and provide for myself than have to have to sleep with someone who can’t do what God wrote for him to do when I have been in previous relationship and treated and provided for trust me ladies there are real men out there … I just thought u and ur friends are just the beta males and I looked at his friends women disgusted .. who looked like life hit them real hard and thought NO way that’s not me, I can hold my own 🙅🏾♀️, stopped being attracted to him. Started to think he needs to go get a boyfriend, kmt try take me out my feminine … He tried ittttt! when a man does what he is meant to and is providing, protecting and loving it being out your best feminine side and you want to have intercourse with him, speak to him good and stroke his ego even if he is ugly, as looks don’t matter. He will get the best version of you, when you see men complaining and calling his girl a bitch it’s because he too is and being disrespected by her. Respect is earned … PLAY UR ROLE
One of the worst types of men I’ve seen is not the man who is passive and friendly and expects his woman to provide. It’s the man who is domineering, treats his woman like a slave and still expects her to provide! I’m from the South and I’ve seen it over and over again. Typically this is the type who have seen their mother go through the same growing up. It is a vicious cycle that must be broken
I read somewhere online earlier this week that men will never treat you better than they saw they’re mothers go through and that was a HUGE eye opener for me and it makes so much since. It’s so twisted ✌🏽
my entire childhood. Just seeing my dad be domineering and abusive to my mother who paid ALL the bills for majority of their marriage and be a house slave. Passive men who want 50/50 are usually rare IMO. It’s usually the abusive controlling men. This is why I live and breathe hypergamy.
That was my POS father. My poor mother been through literal hell! She was the mule in the house, disrespected and beaten for many years! I was born and raised in south east Europe. Most men are trash there. Very misogynist culture.
My grandmother stopped working aged 38 when she met her 2nd husband after my biological dusty grandpa (who she married at 18), deserted her with no less than 4 children to raise alone. My grandma was fully provided for and catered to my grandfather and her youngest children without the stress and struggle of surviving as a single mother of 4. They didn't have much but what he had he gave to her and she kept a beautiful home and made epic meals daily. They set the tone for us and the bar is very high. Sadly a lot of modern men don't see the value in being a provider.
I’ve learned that what you allow in the beginning of the dating phase, will continue and get worse as the relationship grows. Set firm standards from the beginning and stick to them. Or else they will be confused at why they need to change now all of a sudden.
I learned the hard way in marriage. The things I allowed while we were dating still happened in marriage. For example he once told me he loves me because I dnt disturb him by asking for money like other women. This is because I showed him I have money and I could handle things while we were dating. He made it clear our marriage is 50/50. I earn way more than him but I have found ways to protect myself. I have saved and invested most of my money to protect my future. I just do the bare minimum. Now that I am pregnant my money is for myself and my baby. Supporting his dreams is a no for me because I noted he is very unappreciative. Lesson: Dnt marry potential and never show a man you have money. LESSON: Even if you earn more than him find ways to save and invest your money and be careful supporting his dreams and career because for some men when they make it they will leave you high and dry for the next woman.
I have noticed that some of these YT channels praise other men like they are exempt from dusty behavior. Standards and boundaries should be expected from ALL men. Men whine about feminism but are the biggest feminist when they talk about 50/50. They want feminism to look like what they want it to look like, not what it actually is. They want us to be feminine when it comes to taking care of the home, children and them but what us to be feminist when they tell us to contribute financially to the household. They are talking in circles and making themselves crazier with every sentence smh It’s the best comedy skit ever written lol
Lmao this man is so goofy 🎉 he really expected this beautiful woman to give him all the benefits of modern relationships + all the benefits of tradition, without any counterparts.
I don’t watch this show but based on this clip in my opinion, he knew she was driven and he was probably already banking on her success when they met. We gotta learn to see men for who they really are but we all play the fool at some point.
Also I wanted to add that I grew up with a single mother. She taught me to be strong and independent and not to depend on a man. I had to unlearn this mindset. Unfortunately on top of being cheated on and used like I stated before, I also ended up in the hospital due to chest pains from the stress of my previous job. That was my wake up call and I now set boundaries with everyone and prioritize my physical and mental health. I also went to therapy and now I’m in a relationship with a great man.
Yep, it is NOT about being hyper-independent and not relying on anyone AT ALL - but being and INDEPENDENT PRINCESS = independent for yourself, a princess to others. You learns things for your own benefit and to led easier life, but others gotta step up and treat you like a princess if they want your attention.
Telling women not to depend on a man is like telling her to remain single forever, basically. Because once you marry you are one. All choices are made as one so that’s impossible.
Chloe_, I appreciate your perspective because I honestly think my wife picked me for my potential, and years later, I honestly have failed in meeting that potential. This is not an excuse, but I feel like I already lost her, even though I'm still working on being the sole provider and hopefully taking a lot of stress off of her. I don't usually comment much on your videos, but your videos have been a huge eye opener and helped me to understand that I'm the reason for our failing relationship. Please keep up the great work and just know that there's some guys out there who applaud your work!
@bumblebee4280 I appreciate your prayers and your overall advice. Definitely not taking it for granted. It's hard to keep faith knowing that our relationship has basically crumbled in front of my eyes but it has taught me that I should have be more secure within myself and financially before getting with her. It's really difficult working on yourself while in a marriage, and I've had to unlearn so much of what I seen as a young kid and adult just to mold myself into a better man. Thanks again for responding and take care.
My daddy ALWAYS told me, “Love don’t the bills.” My daddy taught me if a man couldn’t do what he did for my mother or better, he’s not a man. I followed what my daddy taught me and modeled. No one can shame me for my standards and expectations because they are deeply engrained in me.
Here is the flip side. Men will say your father did you a disservice. I seen and heard it too many times. Hell my dad taught me about stocks and investing in the stock market. He taught my sisters how to change a flat tire, oil, cut grass, and have work ethic. His thought process was you should never be stranded
I am African (specifically Zambian) and a man is expected to pay bride price. The girl’s family can demand livestock(depending on what tribe they are) or a huge amount of money. This is such a normal thing in our culture that I didn’t think about what it would be like from an American perspective. 😅 I have an aunt who married an American man. He had some complaints about it but he was made to pay.
My Nigerian husband has gotten over on me big time. He doesn't follow the culture norms and refused throughout the marriage to provide, protect and lead. Now he is in financial position, he's smelling himself. I've decided to leave.
I think too many American women have been fed that independent spirit of Rosie the Riveter. I had to learn that that spirit Is for women who want to be head of household to another woman no disrespect to the LGB T community. As Chloe said It's a spirit of confusion
In some cultures the man has to prove first he can even afford to marry by having his own house,degrees etc before a girls family will even allow her to date him
Lol guys I’m half moorish (Moroccan not Arab, we are black) and half eastern European….my dad ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS provided everything! My husband is also moorish she he does the exact same PROVIDES, we are not Muslim , we are not Christian we are Jews btw. I would never think about doing no 50/50 with a man simply because that’s HIS duty, why would I step into his duties ?! I work, yes, I am educated yes the money that I make go to our family YES but it’s not a must. If I stop working tomorrow the lifestyle remains the same. Ladies….please, please do not spend no dimes on no man ! Work on yourself, become the best feminine version of yourself and ask for EVERYTHING because thats what you deserve ! I am proud to be a kept woman, I am proud to be spoiled, I am proud to be feminine and I am proud of my house, husband, family if someone would call me a gold dinner I would be too busy to hear that as I’m getting a new dress.
@@stephanies9071 thank you so much sis and I wish and pray that all of us find the same type of love, respect, loyalty and provision because we deserve it so much. Becky is not the only one worthy of this WE are worthy of this and have have a long history of demanding and receiving this ❤️❤️❤️
I believe men should be providers. A man should be able to take care of the necessities such as rent/mortgage, electricity, gas, water bill and other house related bills...at a minimum. It is not too much to ask. Especially, when women are out here doing it alone. If he lived alone, he would have to pay those expenses anyway.
I don't want a 50/50 relationship or a house-husband, more and more over the past couple of months, I've realised that I'm better off alone until I can find someone who wants me to do the things I want to do. I don't want a progressive man any time soon. I'm good.
She most likely was the aggressor in the relationship; for whatever reason ( lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem ) and used her money, good job, sex, to win him. He from the jump probably never put in any real effort. Now she got what she wanted , now she tired and wants him to show up. Ladies let the man pursue YOU. AND FALL BACK. BE SINCERE BUT NOT THE AGGRESSOR OR WORKHORSE. Unless you want a feminine man. STAY WTHIN YOUR LEAGUE= HE CHECKIN FOR YOU. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
I just want to compliment Chloe and commenters on your thorough, concise and soft communication! Your articulation, transition and cadence is so clear that any woman of any age, race, income, marital status, educational background, or lifestyle can "get it" without offense or confusion. Kudos to you for the time and energy that you have dedicated to serving feminity!
The covert narcissist are scary. I had an interim provider paid my bills for six months no intimacy just prayer. It didn’t work out but I met someone else. We’re now courting. Leave these zeros! Thanks Chloe!
All men in every race, culture have there share of woes and problems no matter what the media or society expect you to believe, it’s up to you as the individual to find this out for themselves. It’s just like I’m Caribbean and many people women believe especially American women believe that Caribbean men may take care of you better than American men which is not true. There are good ones and bad ones in the Caribbean culture you just have to get to know them and judge for yourself.
If a single woman can buy her own home, she is essentially looking for a husband to support the family if she bears his children. If a married couple seeks to buy a home, they shouldn't be using both incomes to secure it if she intends to be a SAHM. The reality is that we need to be more fiscally responsible and live in the space/place that we can afford. I used to do this exercise at the end of the school year with my students to help them to realize/rationalize their talents in order to drive them towards the career/business that matches. But the next step is to have them establish/plan how they are going to use the income of that to purchase the home/drive the vehicle they can afford. Very often people are marrying fiscally irresponsible people and making it next to impossible for anyone to rest/relax through childbirth, childrearing, sickness, or death. There is no reserve. There is living on the community/borrowing/loans/credit. Traditional men are a dying breed. If you want them, you're going to have to raise them up. And you cannot raise them up if their mentors are non-traditional.
That woman got caught up in this man’s looks and his attention towards her and has been paying for it-literally and figuratively- since. You can see all over his face that he’s been feeling himself his entire life.
I grew up in Eastern Europe and men paid for dates and brought flowers. Now live in conservative state and only date conservative men. No man has ever asked me to go 50/50. They would be embarrassed if I offered to split the bill.
This is sooooooo true. This was my story...to a T!!! Sometimes women will only understand this one they've experienced it... but PRAYERFULLY other women will learn based on the experience, guidance and wisdom from other women and people like you, Chloe!! Salute you! 🫡
I experienced the role reversal bait and switch during my first marriage to a passive Black man which began when I was 19 he was 24. He was proud that all the responsibility of providing for and raising our two children fell on me. He used the entire DV cycle of abuse, including flying monkey best friend and relative pep talks, and hoovering to keep me trapped in that slave/ work horse web until I finally moved out of state and divorced him.
This is you're best video 👏 love how u broke it down and also showed how the divestment movement is very flawed. This is very well thought out journalism 👏 . Listening and learning ❤
It very interesting how we all grown up and understand what the standards for relationships. As immigrant west African women we are encouraged and praised to have education and good job. At the same time for me and my community they instill in us to find the best men. That 100% provides for us. We don’t even cook unless we get the “chop moni”. And a lot of us don’t even cook we have house help. For marriage the bride price goes up because you’re educated. Set the record straight they’re not buy us. That is a token of appreciation and understanding that the women you seek to marry is highly valued and what you bring to our parents is to show that you understand the value,respect and is cable to provide.
@@queenchica6623 these new generations n***** are different. That’s why the elders in each family talk. That one of the pros of marrying into a system where family are involved. That being said there is cons. Walking away from any man is the deadliest and easy welding weapon us women have. Either they come correct or you protect yourself from the long run. No arguing or negotiating.
A plus our money is not obligated to take care of the family. It’s solely the man job. The man not to eye your money. It the women choice to with whatever she want with her income.
If you can't even cook, are educated, and I'm assuming work? Then that's by defination not a traditional wife and then expecting a traditional man to take care of the finances is wild. It's not just new gen n****s who wild it's y'all as well - everyone is f**ked
Also why is the dowry all about underside value and token of appreciation when paid for the bride but demonized when paid for the groom? never made sense.
I’m in a serious relationship with my man who’s well off and I don’t pay a single bill. That ain’t for me. He caters to everything and also my own personal expenses such as saloon, nails etc and clothes shopping. I do have my own money but he says no man should be picking up any woman seriously if he can’t take care of them with his own single income. 50\50 ain’t normalized in Africa. Men know that they are the leader and it’s their job to be providers. I don’t tell most women how good I have it cause women are quick to make fun of you. I’ve had so many women ask if I get a girlfriend allowance etc but it always comes out in a demeaning way. It’s not my fault I have a good man that’s spoils me 😂
It’s really depends. I have privately consulted many Nigerian Women who are the actual breadwinners but who actually give their husbands their paychecks for appearances. 💄
@Chloe_ I married a Nigerian man and I was the breadwinner. I had to pretend that the money was his forthcoming sake of our friends and acquaintances. Life with him was Pure Misery
I know people change and lie in the courting stage but I’m curious about to know what their conversations were about prior up marriage. Was he investing in her? Men want to rest in their feminine too 🤷🏾♀️
Spot on. Make your money, ladies. And keep it. Dont get with the guy who wants you to pay. Hide your money. For real. When the babies came i needed my husband to step up. I got to stay home. But he gave me no money. When i went back to work, I drove myself into the ground. It was horrible, miserable. I suffered, and my kids suffered. I dont live with him now. And now i can disengage and get back to being me. The nice, kind, fun me.
With the way the economy is right now I do not see a problem with 50/50 but my problem is that most men only want the 50/50 when it involves money. If we doing 50/50 its gone be with everything chores, cooking, cleaning, and child raising. Too many men feel their only contribution should be that they work but when women also work in the relationship they expect the woman to still do more why they sit around doing nothing. If we both contribute we will both take turns on all the other responsibility. Of course it will not be completely 50/50 all the time but I would expect the man to carry more of the load just my opinion.
@@bumblebee4280 if you can find a man that with provide 100% go for it I am not against it. I am just saying that since a good majority want 50/50 it has to be that way with everything not just the money.
I wish I had considered my husband's ability to PROVIDE before marriage. I'm a Christian but also at the time was lil miss feminist. College educated. Wanted a career and was happy to make my own money and take care of myself. I admire my husband for many reasons but he has zero ambition or drive and is more than happy to see me stressed at work and he is not able to provide for children. We don't have children and I'm scared to have them with someone who can't provide.
Don't waste your time, settling for less out of fear you can't do better. Really think about the pro's and cons of being with him and whether it's worth it. Also take love out of the equation and center your needs, then ask yourself does he fulfill those needs..
@@SupraSoulStarwrong. They have children and once children are present the priorities change. If he's a good father and contributes anything financially or otherwise to the household she has to be very cautious against separating, because her life will get immensely harder and the kids could be greatly traumatized.
@Abril Maybe start setting yourself up to walk away from that. It serves no purpose if a man can willfully see you stressed AND can’t provide for children.
Oh my gosh you're helping me realize that i married a golden retriever and now that I'm burned out at work and in a caregiver role i want a doberman to go out and bring us home some BREAD
About Gabrielle and Dwayne...turns out that Dwayne tried to leverage his $$ against her, saying stuff like "this is my house ". Therefore, she insisted that pay half and get her name on the deeds of their properties, etc. I think if my husband were to say that to me I would do the same.
Oh thank god for a new video was studying some pharmacy technician homework and this is the break i needed my mom has been in a hypergamous marriage well it's be 50 years july 9th of this year
I just got a 1500€ engagement ring thanks to Chanel like this 👌🏾 from my fiancé. The father of the children gave me a ring without asking I didn’t want to marry him I knew deep down inside i was in toxic relationship. He also wanted to have the ring back during a fight thank god I moved and. Thank u GOD and RUclips;)
Your break down was exactly my situation. I wish I had this advise in my 20s. I never learned how to vet partners, because when that honeymoon phase ended and the mask dropped... let's just say 2 kids later. I just couldn't do it anymore. I had to let him go. To add he was not black.
dang this hit home for me! i am a witness to this situation! this is my situation after 10 years i am burnt out and i want my golden retreiver to be a rotweiller! never gonna happen! and i am done being his momma! as a matter of fact i have passed from resentment to hate, and whats funny ia that i will be the bad one in this story because he is a nice guy who does the bare minimum but only i know that second part.
Enlightening video and a reminder to women looking for a life partner to marry a man who enjoys leading and providing. I really felt it for that wife. Hope she finds a resolution to her issue.
Dont keep someone who is not willing to take care of you when you are down . I was asked to work after giving birth in 6 months so he could fool around while I was working. Please Vet them carefully, No ones calls them out this is why this continues to happens
She's Right! Ladies Don't Do 50/50! Only Males With No Purpose or Professional. Hunger to Strive and Stride! Need that type of Excuse! A Married Man! WE WILL RESENT YOU FOR MAKING IT EASY FOR US TO COAST!(Every Man Knows that!....)
Especially European men, they are very progressive they believe men and women are equal in everything so for them 50/50 is the norm😅
Duly noted cause NO. 😂😂
Yep.
Yep Dutch men especially. “Going Dutch” comes from them
Yes, I'm an italian man and I feel very alienated by these videos that I'm watching for curiosity.
Sometimes the new generations of italian girls even want to pay all the bills.
My experience: Most of the time on the first date they insist for a 0/100, they want to estabilish theyr indipendency and they pay anything.
I try to be a provider in other ways: mostly physical, pragmatical, and emotional.
BTW our cultures are very different: healthcare and prices first of all.
@Nefas This new generation have no traditional values. It’s a leader, protector and provider for ME or NOTHING.
I hold ALL races of men to my same high standards. Period. Provide, protect and adore me to the moon and back. In return, you get my admiration and respect.
Woop 🙌🏽 Woop 👊🏼❣️
Right! Do otherwise and you don’t get shit
Amen girl!! Same here👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏
“All races” YES!
Exactly!!! And what they don’t understand is how our feminine nurturing comes out 10 fold when we’re being provided for. We actually* have the energy to be in our divine feminine. It’s a win win for everyone when the man provides!
Please listen to Chloe ladies. I have a masters degree and a good career, but during pregnancy I had to be put on bed rest. If my husband was not a provider we would have been ruined. Now we have kids I am a stay at home mom.
That 50/50 stuff is cute UNTIL you have babies!
@Babycoconut249 I always said I would like to be a stay home mom if I have children cause it’s really NOT A GAME!
@@malikawilson7071motherhood is an unpaid job with NO breaks. I don’t know even know how women can work and raise kids.
Exactly
Thank you for this ❤
@@babycoconuttrust me mothering and working is exhausting. Then they have the nerve to have expectations of you beyond that. I tell you I have learned it is just better to be on my own. No thanks
A woman who's the main breadwinner is better off being single and hiring a nanny/housekeeper then keeping a stay at home husband. He's absolutely useless.
💯
Yup
@@cyberchase1332 you must be a man😆
Sadly, that’s a fact.
Wow this is what I thought about if I have a child. Hire a nanny and even a chef if I need it. Provide unless I meet a provider. Thank you
NEVER provide for a man! He'll come to despise you later. I know, it happened to me. Thank God I walked away from the lost fool I dated years ago. I'm now married to a provider husband - the difference is clear. I look younger, my health has improved, and I am always wearing a smile on my face.
Something like that had happened to Shakira, she’s one of the richest, famous, hardworking, passionate and beautiful people on the planet, but her man still had the audacity to cheat on her.
I learned the HARD WAY to not date based off of “ potential “. My ex ( then boyfriend ) lost his job and I loaned him money to pay his rent. He turned around and disrespected me by calling me out my name, he cheated on me with his “ best friend “, and he never paid me back the money he owed. NEVER SETTLE LADIES !
His best friend was a Women? Red Flag
Never give money to men.
I'm learning that many men find it emasculating to be with a woman that doesn't need his money. They also find it pretty emasculating to be offered financial advice/support. I don't loan money to boyfriends but I have tried with my male relatives in the past.
I'm learning to save my money & time by letting men do whatever they already planned to do when they are in a financial bind. It also soothes their self esteem when I don't express too much concern.
I have never sent one penny to my fiance but yet he desires me so deeply and does everything he can to please me. You don't have to try and buy any man if he truly wants you.
American Men are gonna realize AMERICAN WOMEN ARE THEIR BEST BET 😂 There’s plenty of American women who will go 50/50. These men go to these countries to find a DISCOUNT and then get embarrassed. Ladies it’s HYPERGAMY OR NOTHING. Either he wants to Lead, Protect and Provide or he doesn’t.
3rd world country women don’t want them anyways lol
They want women that'll go 50/50 AND be traditional and submissive which is pretty much an oxymoron.
@Paige Nichole Speaks Exactly it’s quite DIABOLICAL
In my culture there is nothing like 50 50, he has to provide or get lost, although the men want to learn this bad habit from what they see outside but we are not having it.unfortunately some women do fall prey though to these dusties, but the general conception here is that he has to do it alll
🗣️🎯
My dad is a Nigerian born husband. He says it’s an embarrassment not to fully provide for your family as a man.
And he's right!
@@LG_Xclnt 🙏🏼❤️
Ugh i was a single wife and when I complained women (yep black ones) would always say I should just be happy to have a husband. Like what?? Weird thing is I'm less exhausted now that he's gone. Ladies please choose better and don't give these lazy bums your energy, time and body.
Ladies listen, I am Dutch/European and live in the Netherlands. Most women here are liberal feminists, highly educated, NOT feminine but harsh, and indoctrinated with the 50/50 mindset. I don’t even go around saying I have a provider boyfriend (he’s from the USA) because I’ll be labelled a goal digger or whatever. It’s not so common here and women lead with their careers, stay at home moms are looked down upon. So, just to let you know.. it’s not some provider male utopia over here. Going Dutch is the norm.
50/50 was even named after your culture, goddamn. Here in the UK it's the norm too, but very rarely you can find an old school provider English guy. I stick to Georgians, well my first Georgian bf actually. He's really a man.
Why did that happen over there in the Netherlands like that? That being said yes please be careful and don’t tell anyone you are being provided for. Women like that deep down will feel very jealous if they find out
@@Speechiegirl1 it’s not just here, but most neighbouring countries too. Only eastern countries in Europe adhere to traditional values as they’re mostly Christian. Europe is a liberal shithole.
Although 50/50 still sucks, there are more social protections for women in place in the Netherlands to where it’s more understandable that it’s socially acceptable. Here in the US, motherhood puts so many women into poverty, that it’s absurd we accept 50/50 as standard. We have no universal healthcare, no federally mandated paid maternity leave, and relatively few tax subsidies for people with children. Childcare is so expensive and unsubsidized unless you’re VERY poor. Since our government does not care to help support new mothers, we have to insist that the fathers step in to fill the gap. 50/50 is not the way.
@Victoria S Very well explained. I think if I was American, I would marry one of those super religious Southern bible thumpers, talking about God every every five minutes. At least they know what a man should be doing.
These passport bros are going to learn the hard way that women are the same all over the world & will always have expectations. Even if foreign women appear to be more “submissive” that submission will come at a price.
Its our nature, just as is all men's to want to be a dominant male. Our ovaries tell us our future babies and us will starve to death if we dare say hello to a broke man.
They may start out submissive, but if they deem the men not fit for it, they will withdraw it. No guarantee
I came here to say this exactly. It don’t change at all.
I made a video on passport bros and they were so bitter that I had a provider man while they had to go and travel just to get someone to even look at them and even then they still weren't getting great results !!😂 They were so mad in my comment section
It's been 10 years since I brought my Nigerian wife to the states. What "price" is it that you are referring to?
I've been a good woman to a lost fool and it's HIGHLY UNRECOMMENDED! I give it a negative 15 stars.
Same here
Same!!!!
Literally changes you into someone you can't recognize. Wouldn't recommend at all!
I'm in this situation as a WIFE and I wish I could tell younger me some things!!!
Yesss!!!🙄😂😂😂😂😂
I live in the UK and had a relationship with a Danish man who out earned me by miles. He wanted and expected a 50/50 relationship. We discussed moving in together, but after experiencing his dusty ways, I quickly realised I’d end up with a large portion of responsibilities - cooking, cleaning, household admin, while also being expected to go 50/50 (with no adjustment for the fact he earned more than me)! Let me tell you, my libido disappeared. This man couldn’t get up for his high paying job in finance and was made ‘redundant’ basically asked to leave before he was fired. I knew I had to run when I asked him how he’d describe me and the first word out of his mouth was ‘strong’ because I knew then he saw me as a workhorse. I’m a black woman, and I was certain I’d be better off alone than in a relationship with a bum with no direction. Take this as a cautionary tale ladies. Date wisely, watch the actions of the man and not the words because people will have you thinking you’re crazy for having standards. I’m now in therapy, because that relationship drained me and I knew I needed to work on myself before dating again. Therapy and this channel have opened my eyes!
Thank you for the wisdom sis!
I went on a date with a Danish guy who suggested this 50/50 nonsense and I ghosted him after just one date, which I told him he's paying for. The strangest thing was that he had gone out with a Ugandinian girl who had explained to him that men are expected to provide in Africa. He explained it much better to me than I could have, having left Africa as a child. And still he was saying this. I felt I did a service for the world because he will think very carefully before going after those 'gentle African girls'.
@@chipwanderlust113 I’m glad you didn’t entertain the foolishness! It’s very strange behaviour, they want all the privileges without the effort or investment.
Oh I am so sorry. My Polish fiance spoils me rotten. These European men are such a mixed bunch.
All the best to you. We are creating impressions in their minds as we continue to stand up for ourselves.
All I heard that woman's husband say is, " I dont want to work hard, because my sleep is more important." He looks like he has low testosterone and is completely checked out!
Chile I also didn't hear a damn thing he said except what you say you heard😂. The whole thing just sounded rehearsed like this is the statement he's got ready for whenever someone calls him out on his laziness and he's sticking to it. Nothing said to him will sway him😂 Broke and stubborn eeew.
“I thought they valued family over money.”
How do you have a family without money sir?
I’ve been this woman in my first marriage. They DONT change I promise you. They don’t care. They really don’t. He is okay with being in the back. Get out before he leaves you because he WILL leave you eventually and you’ll have to add that to the list of everything else he did to you.
Glad you got out of that! Cause whew!
So true ! Same reason I escaped my first marriage! It’s said that the only thing you can change is a man’s diaper because you can’t/will not change anything else!
I’ve been there before as well. It was HELL.
So glad to be free from the bullsh*t. 🦋
I really never hear a happy ending when the man is just content being in the back like that. Women always start to loose respect for him.
Me too and my soon to be ex is Nigerian so it doesn't matter who the dusty is.
In Islam A Muslim man that tells a woman to help him … needs to be single. It’s in the religion to be the provider even if woman works her money her money she can contribute to little things if she wants … his money is the families for the household and to give his wife to clothe herself and buy what she want for herself … regardless if she has her own money
Yep in many religions I believe that is the case but all too many like to overlook it. But they will push being submissive and for women to be helpers.
@@flashylights I agree, and at first they act like they are masculine and providers and protectors … but when in relationship with them .. they turn around and tell you to go 50/50😅 that’s why we need men of God and need to vet thoroughly, I mean speaking from personal experience the more my ex asked me to help him and encouraged me to work the more I started visualising he had a vagina and cut off intercourse completely he would say no friend of mine or man I know doesn’t have his woman working and contributing to do things together … excuse me do what?… I just thought … because you have never met a real man and surrounded by beta males ..dating pick me women, trust me I would rather be single for life and provide for myself than have to have to sleep with someone who can’t do what God wrote for him to do when I have been in previous relationship and treated and provided for trust me ladies there are real men out there … I just thought u and ur friends are just the beta males and I looked at his friends women disgusted .. who looked like life hit them real hard and thought NO way that’s not me, I can hold my own 🙅🏾♀️, stopped being attracted to him. Started to think he needs to go get a boyfriend, kmt try take me out my feminine … He tried ittttt! when a man does what he is meant to and is providing, protecting and loving it being out your best feminine side and you want to have intercourse with him, speak to him good and stroke his ego even if he is ugly, as looks don’t matter. He will get the best version of you, when you see men complaining and calling his girl a bitch it’s because he too is and being disrespected by her. Respect is earned … PLAY UR ROLE
@@AStarozzy89 This comment is spot on. 😂
One of the worst types of men I’ve seen is not the man who is passive and friendly and expects his woman to provide. It’s the man who is domineering, treats his woman like a slave and still expects her to provide! I’m from the South and I’ve seen it over and over again. Typically this is the type who have seen their mother go through the same growing up. It is a vicious cycle that must be broken
You just described my ex
I read somewhere online earlier this week that men will never treat you better than they saw they’re mothers go through and that was a HUGE eye opener for me and it makes so much since. It’s so twisted ✌🏽
my entire childhood. Just seeing my dad be domineering and abusive to my mother who paid ALL the bills for majority of their marriage and be a house slave. Passive men who want 50/50 are usually rare IMO. It’s usually the abusive controlling men.
This is why I live and breathe hypergamy.
That was my POS father. My poor mother been through literal hell! She was the mule in the house, disrespected and beaten for many years! I was born and raised in south east Europe. Most men are trash there. Very misogynist culture.
@@sunlight8366 that is true
Not gas station wig.😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That had me spit out my juice 😂😂😂😂
Chloe is gonna hit HARD everytime 😂😂😂😂
Women have to focus on action. Words of "I am a provider" don't mean garbage. Women need to make it harder for men. Not easier.
Exactly
Exactly
💯
My grandmother stopped working aged 38 when she met her 2nd husband after my biological dusty grandpa (who she married at 18), deserted her with no less than 4 children to raise alone. My grandma was fully provided for and catered to my grandfather and her youngest children without the stress and struggle of surviving as a single mother of 4. They didn't have much but what he had he gave to her and she kept a beautiful home and made epic meals daily. They set the tone for us and the bar is very high. Sadly a lot of modern men don't see the value in being a provider.
Wow.. bless that man!
Wow how beautiful
Men don't even realize you don't even have to be rich to be a provider. All you have to be is generous and financially literate.
Women providing is absolutely hilarious, the men need so much sweet tenderness and the women need harsh correction, lol the end is here 😅
@@charmaineespeut4627 Girl this is the REALEST statement ever! 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 @Chloe_ needs to pin this!
I’ve learned that what you allow in the beginning of the dating phase, will continue and get worse as the relationship grows. Set firm standards from the beginning and stick to them. Or else they will be confused at why they need to change now all of a sudden.
🎯
I learned this way too late but I know better now
Yepppppp
I learned the hard way in marriage. The things I allowed while we were dating still happened in marriage. For example he once told me he loves me because I dnt disturb him by asking for money like other women. This is because I showed him I have money and I could handle things while we were dating.
He made it clear our marriage is 50/50. I earn way more than him but I have found ways to protect myself. I have saved and invested most of my money to protect my future. I just do the bare minimum. Now that I am pregnant my money is for myself and my baby. Supporting his dreams is a no for me because I noted he is very unappreciative.
Lesson: Dnt marry potential and never show a man you have money.
LESSON: Even if you earn more than him find ways to save and invest your money and be careful supporting his dreams and career because for some men when they make it they will leave you high and dry for the next woman.
@@LolaBugzy85 All the best to you. This pregnancy can be a huge turning point int the relationship
I have noticed that some of these YT channels praise other men like they are exempt from dusty behavior. Standards and boundaries should be expected from ALL men. Men whine about feminism but are the biggest feminist when they talk about 50/50. They want feminism to look like what they want it to look like, not what it actually is. They want us to be feminine when it comes to taking care of the home, children and them but what us to be feminist when they tell us to contribute financially to the household. They are talking in circles and making themselves crazier with every sentence smh It’s the best comedy skit ever written lol
Lmao this man is so goofy 🎉 he really expected this beautiful woman to give him all the benefits of modern relationships + all the benefits of tradition, without any counterparts.
I don’t watch this show but based on this clip in my opinion, he knew she was driven and he was probably already banking on her success when they met. We gotta learn to see men for who they really are but we all play the fool at some point.
What's the name of the show?
Even the way he's sitting... He doesn't love her and therefore, he doesn't care
😂😂😂😂 Body language is a CLEAR give away. A great eye you have there
This bald piece of....is spending his money and her money on someone else. Yes, thats what's happening.
My heart aches for her
Also I wanted to add that I grew up with a single mother. She taught me to be strong and independent and not to depend on a man. I had to unlearn this mindset. Unfortunately on top of being cheated on and used like I stated before, I also ended up in the hospital due to chest pains from the stress of my previous job. That was my wake up call and I now set boundaries with everyone and prioritize my physical and mental health. I also went to therapy and now I’m in a relationship with a great man.
Yep, it is NOT about being hyper-independent and not relying on anyone AT ALL - but being and INDEPENDENT PRINCESS = independent for yourself, a princess to others. You learns things for your own benefit and to led easier life, but others gotta step up and treat you like a princess if they want your attention.
That’s awesome to hear ❤I’m glad that you are with a better man!
Telling women not to depend on a man is like telling her to remain single forever, basically. Because once you marry you are one. All choices are made as one so that’s impossible.
Most of the time, when you see these couples, you always see who is in the masculine and feminine from their demeanor
Chloe_, I appreciate your perspective because I honestly think my wife picked me for my potential, and years later, I honestly have failed in meeting that potential. This is not an excuse, but I feel like I already lost her, even though I'm still working on being the sole provider and hopefully taking a lot of stress off of her. I don't usually comment much on your videos, but your videos have been a huge eye opener and helped me to understand that I'm the reason for our failing relationship. Please keep up the great work and just know that there's some guys out there who applaud your work!
@@bumblebee4280 That was deep!
@bumblebee4280 I appreciate your prayers and your overall advice. Definitely not taking it for granted. It's hard to keep faith knowing that our relationship has basically crumbled in front of my eyes but it has taught me that I should have be more secure within myself and financially before getting with her. It's really difficult working on yourself while in a marriage, and I've had to unlearn so much of what I seen as a young kid and adult just to mold myself into a better man. Thanks again for responding and take care.
My daddy ALWAYS told me, “Love don’t the bills.” My daddy taught me if a man couldn’t do what he did for my mother or better, he’s not a man.
I followed what my daddy taught me and modeled. No one can shame me for my standards and expectations because they are deeply engrained in me.
Here is the flip side. Men will say your father did you a disservice. I seen and heard it too many times. Hell my dad taught me about stocks and investing in the stock market. He taught my sisters how to change a flat tire, oil, cut grass, and have work ethic. His thought process was you should never be stranded
@@tam6011 A disservice?! That sounds like some hater ass shit, but ok.
I am African (specifically Zambian) and a man is expected to pay bride price. The girl’s family can demand livestock(depending on what tribe they are) or a huge amount of money. This is such a normal thing in our culture that I didn’t think about what it would be like from an American perspective. 😅
I have an aunt who married an American man. He had some complaints about it but he was made to pay.
❤❤💯💯💯💯
Lol Zambian here tooo🇿🇲🇿🇲🇿🇲🤗🤗🤗 this is true
Is the money saved for you or given to you? Or does it go somewhere else?
My Nigerian husband has gotten over on me big time. He doesn't follow the culture norms and refused throughout the marriage to provide, protect and lead. Now he is in financial position, he's smelling himself. I've decided to leave.
@@queenchica6623🗣️GOOD FOR YOU QUEEN🙋🏾♀️….but be careful and move in silence 🚶🏾♀️
He sees providing as material things 🤢
That guy was vomiting a whole bunch of word salad. Narc Alert! I’m praying for sis to leave that mess so he doesn’t drain her for good.
She probably thought she was hitting the Jackpot because he ain’t black and shawty was humbled real quick. Broke DUSTIES reside on all sides 😂😂😂
American women have to up their standards and stop doing 50/50 it seems we were the only ones tricked into that
I think too many American women have been fed that independent spirit of Rosie the Riveter. I had to learn that that spirit Is for women who want to be head of household to another woman no disrespect to the LGB T community. As Chloe said It's a spirit of confusion
In some cultures the man has to prove first he can even afford to marry by having his own house,degrees etc before a girls family will even allow her to date him
@@babycoconut that should be practiced here in the States.
Trust me it’s the same over here in west europe 🫠
@@babycoconutand the women in thèse countries are raised to be housewives too..... They do everything by themselves i know this for a fact
Lol guys I’m half moorish (Moroccan not Arab, we are black) and half eastern European….my dad ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS provided everything! My husband is also moorish she he does the exact same PROVIDES, we are not Muslim , we are not Christian we are Jews btw. I would never think about doing no 50/50 with a man simply because that’s HIS duty, why would I step into his duties ?! I work, yes, I am educated yes the money that I make go to our family YES but it’s not a must. If I stop working tomorrow the lifestyle remains the same. Ladies….please, please do not spend no dimes on no man ! Work on yourself, become the best feminine version of yourself and ask for EVERYTHING because thats what you deserve ! I am proud to be a kept woman, I am proud to be spoiled, I am proud to be feminine and I am proud of my house, husband, family if someone would call me a gold dinner I would be too busy to hear that as I’m getting a new dress.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I freaking love this and I love that for you 😁!!!
(I don't even know who you are 🤣).
@@stephanies9071 thank you so much sis and I wish and pray that all of us find the same type of love, respect, loyalty and provision because we deserve it so much. Becky is not the only one worthy of this WE are worthy of this and have have a long history of demanding and receiving this ❤️❤️❤️
Single wife syndrome 🤯 that’s too true
I believe men should be providers. A man should be able to take care of the necessities such as rent/mortgage, electricity, gas, water bill and other house related bills...at a minimum. It is not too much to ask. Especially, when women are out here doing it alone. If he lived alone, he would have to pay those expenses anyway.
70 hrs..... GIRL WHAT.?! Why are you allowing it?
Hypergamy or nothing
Even the therapist looks annoyed😂😂
The expression on her face is" You must be joking 😂😂😂
I don't want a 50/50 relationship or a house-husband, more and more over the past couple of months, I've realised that I'm better off alone until I can find someone who wants me to do the things I want to do. I don't want a progressive man any time soon. I'm good.
She most likely was the aggressor in the relationship; for whatever reason ( lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem ) and used her money, good job, sex, to win him. He from the jump probably never put in any real effort. Now she got what she wanted , now she tired and wants him to show up. Ladies let the man pursue YOU. AND FALL BACK. BE SINCERE BUT NOT THE AGGRESSOR OR WORKHORSE. Unless you want a feminine man. STAY WTHIN YOUR LEAGUE= HE CHECKIN FOR YOU. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
Very true
💯
I just want to compliment Chloe and commenters on your thorough, concise and soft communication! Your articulation, transition and cadence is so clear that any woman of any age, race, income, marital status, educational background, or lifestyle can "get it" without offense or confusion. Kudos to you for the time and energy that you have dedicated to serving feminity!
❤️
50/50 is a NO. Experience will teach you a nice lesson.
Wife’s face shows utter disgust
Therapist face is like is this joker for real?!?
In the UK it's pretty normal to do 50/50 relationships.
Not for me thank you😂
Amen sisttaaa the treachery in these uk streets is something else. princess treatment only for me thank you very much 😂
@@cadyg2531 🎯💯❤Yessss
Yep. I can't do that. I am so grateful that my fiance does not think like this.
Cost of living
Also with 50/50 you can have a say on anything I gives you same power
The covert narcissist are scary. I had an interim provider paid my bills for six months no intimacy just prayer. It didn’t work out but I met someone else. We’re now courting. Leave these zeros! Thanks Chloe!
The therapist looks like she needs therapy after trying to untangle this mess.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀
🤣🤣🤣😭
All men in every race, culture have there share of woes and problems no matter what the media or society expect you to believe, it’s up to you as the individual to find this out for themselves. It’s just like I’m Caribbean and many people women believe especially American women believe that Caribbean men may take care of you better than American men which is not true. There are good ones and bad ones in the Caribbean culture you just have to get to know them and judge for yourself.
I had one tell me he was trying to be like me financially I blocked him
😂😂😂😂
LMAO BE FR😂🤣😂
“They Ego Repair by Cheating”! I have never heard it said in clearer and simpler terms.
If a single woman can buy her own home, she is essentially looking for a husband to support the family if she bears his children.
If a married couple seeks to buy a home, they shouldn't be using both incomes to secure it if she intends to be a SAHM.
The reality is that we need to be more fiscally responsible and live in the space/place that we can afford.
I used to do this exercise at the end of the school year with my students to help them to realize/rationalize their talents in order to drive them towards the career/business that matches. But the next step is to have them establish/plan how they are going to use the income of that to purchase the home/drive the vehicle they can afford.
Very often people are marrying fiscally irresponsible people and making it next to impossible for anyone to rest/relax through childbirth, childrearing, sickness, or death. There is no reserve. There is living on the community/borrowing/loans/credit.
Traditional men are a dying breed. If you want them, you're going to have to raise them up. And you cannot raise them up if their mentors are non-traditional.
This black American woman with a master's degree makes good money and pays zero bills in our household with my black husband. It's possible.
Very much possible ❤
That woman got caught up in this man’s looks and his attention towards her and has been paying for it-literally and figuratively- since. You can see all over his face that he’s been feeling himself his entire life.
I grew up in Eastern Europe and men paid for dates and brought flowers. Now live in conservative state and only date conservative men. No man has ever asked me to go 50/50. They would be embarrassed if I offered to split the bill.
This is sooooooo true. This was my story...to a T!!! Sometimes women will only understand this one they've experienced it... but PRAYERFULLY other women will learn based on the experience, guidance and wisdom from other women and people like you, Chloe!! Salute you! 🫡
Chloe you have me lmbo 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 at your use of, "Goofy and Course Corrected" terms.
I experienced the role reversal bait and switch during my first marriage to a passive Black man which began when I was 19 he was 24. He was proud that all the responsibility of providing for and raising our two children fell on me. He used the entire DV cycle of abuse, including flying monkey best friend and relative pep talks, and hoovering to keep me trapped in that slave/ work horse web until I finally moved out of state and divorced him.
This is you're best video 👏 love how u broke it down and also showed how the divestment movement is very flawed. This is very well thought out journalism 👏 . Listening and learning ❤
I don’t accept apologies, only actions ❤ - Me with any man
I can't Tell you how many times I'm seen this scenario play out amongst associates. it's so true.
It very interesting how we all grown up and understand what the standards for relationships. As immigrant west African women we are encouraged and praised to have education and good job. At the same time for me and my community they instill in us to find the best men. That 100% provides for us. We don’t even cook unless we get the “chop moni”. And a lot of us don’t even cook we have house help. For marriage the bride price goes up because you’re educated. Set the record straight they’re not buy us. That is a token of appreciation and understanding that the women you seek to marry is highly valued and what you bring to our parents is to show that you understand the value,respect and is cable to provide.
I mentioned these things in the past to my dusty Nigerian Yoruba husband and of course he downplayed it. I'm leaving now so happy to be done.
@@queenchica6623 these new generations n***** are different. That’s why the elders in each family talk. That one of the pros of marrying into a system where family are involved. That being said there is cons. Walking away from any man is the deadliest and easy welding weapon us women have. Either they come correct or you protect yourself from the long run. No arguing or negotiating.
A plus our money is not obligated to take care of the family. It’s solely the man job. The man not to eye your money. It the women choice to with whatever she want with her income.
If you can't even cook, are educated, and I'm assuming work? Then that's by defination not a traditional wife and then expecting a traditional man to take care of the finances is wild. It's not just new gen n****s who wild it's y'all as well - everyone is f**ked
Also why is the dowry all about underside value and token of appreciation when paid for the bride but demonized when paid for the groom? never made sense.
I’m in a serious relationship with my man who’s well off and I don’t pay a single bill. That ain’t for me. He caters to everything and also my own personal expenses such as saloon, nails etc and clothes shopping. I do have my own money but he says no man should be picking up any woman seriously if he can’t take care of them with his own single income. 50\50 ain’t normalized in Africa. Men know that they are the leader and it’s their job to be providers. I don’t tell most women how good I have it cause women are quick to make fun of you. I’ve had so many women ask if I get a girlfriend allowance etc but it always comes out in a demeaning way. It’s not my fault I have a good man that’s spoils me 😂
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Good for you! From experience, keep it shut. Don't tell any women. It also breeds resentment & jealousy.
That woman needs to leave him...he suckered her into being a work horse!
2:08 She looks so disgusted. I love it.
50/50? Pas pour moi. Merci!
I also noticed Nigerian women don’t play that 50/50 stuff either!Either you’re a provider or they are walking 🚶🏾♀️.
Yessss! I learned that recently. Even if the wife makes more money, it's still expected for the husband to provide for the household.
It’s really depends. I have privately consulted many Nigerian Women who are the actual breadwinners but who actually give their husbands their paychecks for appearances. 💄
@Chloe Yup! You can’t think certain cultures are EXEMPT.
Nigeria women are the worst slave so don't talk if you don't know😢😢
@Chloe_ I married a Nigerian man and I was the breadwinner. I had to pretend that the money was his forthcoming sake of our friends and acquaintances. Life with him was Pure Misery
9:01-9:12 is the mantra I will keep playing in my head when I’m vetting men. This is gold!
Any woman reading this, don't ever go 50/50, unless you have Oprah's money.
Even then!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂
Having a husband like that would shove me straight into the arms of another man. Talk about repulsive.
Facts. It’s a straight bait and switch. The serious conversation and actions that show the talk is real needs to happen
Not everyone is marriage material I've learned...yuck
Ladies, listen well, NO MORE FREE 🐱
I know people change and lie in the courting stage but I’m curious about to know what their conversations were about prior up marriage. Was he investing in her? Men want to rest in their feminine too 🤷🏾♀️
Spot on. Make your money, ladies. And keep it. Dont get with the guy who wants you to pay. Hide your money.
For real. When the babies came i needed my husband to step up. I got to stay home. But he gave me no money. When i went back to work, I drove myself into the ground. It was horrible, miserable. I suffered, and my kids suffered. I dont live with him now. And now i can disengage and get back to being me. The nice, kind, fun me.
With the way the economy is right now I do not see a problem with 50/50 but my problem is that most men only want the 50/50 when it involves money. If we doing 50/50 its gone be with everything chores, cooking, cleaning, and child raising. Too many men feel their only contribution should be that they work but when women also work in the relationship they expect the woman to still do more why they sit around doing nothing. If we both contribute we will both take turns on all the other responsibility. Of course it will not be completely 50/50 all the time but I would expect the man to carry more of the load just my opinion.
Agree 💯
@@bumblebee4280 if you can find a man that with provide 100% go for it I am not against it. I am just saying that since a good majority want 50/50 it has to be that way with everything not just the money.
Triflin ppl will always find a way to get out of responsibility 🤦🏽♀️
I wish I had considered my husband's ability to PROVIDE before marriage. I'm a Christian but also at the time was lil miss feminist. College educated. Wanted a career and was happy to make my own money and take care of myself. I admire my husband for many reasons but he has zero ambition or drive and is more than happy to see me stressed at work and he is not able to provide for children. We don't have children and I'm scared to have them with someone who can't provide.
What are your plans for the future?
@@onevenus6040 that's what I'm stuck on. At this point, none really. That's so depressing to admit.
Don't waste your time, settling for less out of fear you can't do better. Really think about the pro's and cons of being with him and whether it's worth it. Also take love out of the equation and center your needs, then ask yourself does he fulfill those needs..
@@SupraSoulStarwrong. They have children and once children are present the priorities change. If he's a good father and contributes anything financially or otherwise to the household she has to be very cautious against separating, because her life will get immensely harder and the kids could be greatly traumatized.
@Abril Maybe start setting yourself up to walk away from that. It serves no purpose if a man can willfully see you stressed AND can’t provide for children.
And if she divorces him, I guarantee he will go for alimony. He knows what he's doing.
Black Women expect way too little...Love You Chloe! ❤💋
I love you too.💄
Oh my gosh you're helping me realize that i married a golden retriever and now that I'm burned out at work and in a caregiver role i want a doberman to go out and bring us home some BREAD
Sis!…this one was straight fire 🔥. Saving this episode to play the next time a woman is offended by me wanting a generally traditional marriage lol.
@Arthur Andrews Please school the brothers too😂😂😂
@@malikawilson7071 lol. I do, but there’s a lot of head wind against traditional marriage in western culture.
4:34 The way my Taurus and Libra is set up in my chart, I’m about to make some beef stew and potatoes, COMPLETELY off topic lol
"Argue with your gas station wig" 😂😂😂😂😂😂
About Gabrielle and Dwayne...turns out that Dwayne tried to leverage his $$ against her, saying stuff like "this is my house ". Therefore, she insisted that pay half and get her name on the deeds of their properties, etc. I think if my husband were to say that to me I would do the same.
If I was her I wouldn’t use that money for the house I’d be investing it and moving on from that disgusting man
@@Surfing566 same girl...
no way i'm paying half for that man
So he is not a provider..he is not generous...and this is toxic masculine behavior...she should have left him!
@@Surfing566Right , she'll be better off without him.
No. She insisted on being married and settled for being his wife on his terms.
I wish i heard this 5 years ago, BUT I know what to do and what NOT to do, and what to REQUIRE now
This was an excellent video! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💙💚💙💚💙
Oh thank god for a new video was studying some pharmacy technician homework and this is the break i needed my mom has been in a hypergamous marriage well it's be 50 years july 9th of this year
Another brilliant break down! Thank you for wise counsel
Chloe you get another golden star for one of your deadly very necessary foundational truths. VET! VET! And VET Again!
I just got a 1500€ engagement ring thanks to Chanel like this 👌🏾 from my fiancé. The father of the children gave me a ring without asking I didn’t want to marry him I knew deep down inside i was in toxic relationship. He also wanted to have the ring back during a fight thank god I moved and. Thank u GOD and RUclips;)
Your break down was exactly my situation. I wish I had this advise in my 20s. I never learned how to vet partners, because when that honeymoon phase ended and the mask dropped... let's just say 2 kids later. I just couldn't do it anymore. I had to let him go. To add he was not black.
dang this hit home for me! i am a witness to this situation! this is my situation after 10 years i am burnt out and i want my golden retreiver to be a rotweiller! never gonna happen! and i am done being his momma! as a matter of fact i have passed from resentment to hate, and whats funny ia that i will be the bad one in this story because he is a nice guy who does the bare minimum but only i know that second part.
Been there. It's horrible. Get out. If you can.
“He has taken her feminine spot” in the relationship . Ouch!!! 😩
He's clown 😭☕
Enlightening video and a reminder to women looking for a life partner to marry a man who enjoys leading and providing. I really felt it for that wife. Hope she finds a resolution to her issue.
Dont keep someone who is not willing to take care of you when you are down . I was asked to work after giving birth in 6 months so he could fool around while I was working. Please Vet them carefully, No ones calls them out this is why this continues to happens
The whole episode is just wow!
One of the best, most thorough videos ever done on the dynamics of 50/50 bs! 👏👏👏
She's Right! Ladies Don't Do 50/50! Only Males With No Purpose or Professional. Hunger to Strive and Stride! Need that type of Excuse! A Married Man! WE WILL RESENT YOU FOR MAKING IT EASY FOR US TO COAST!(Every Man Knows that!....)