Societal pressure for women to have children is REAL.
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- Societal pressures conditioning women that they are only worthy once they have started a family is a real thing! Only when I actually connected with myself and listened to my inner being did I realize that is not my highest calling, and that's OKAY! We can have an incredible, impactful, worthy life with or without children!
Why do people only see women as birthing machines, a maid and nothing less. I'm sick and tired of people telling me how the feel about my own decision.
Thing is, people really do expect women to be the maid after birth. Mom should be busy taking care of her newborn and healing, not cleaning a house and servicing a man-child. Then if it really was about birthing children, it would be perfectly fine to birth children and leave them with the father or put them up for adoption, but people don't want women to do that. Further proving it's not about birthing children but simply chaining down women.
If you thought through your decision thoroughly, which you did, then it's the RIGHT decision. People who tell you how to feel about it are wrong and it's not their place. Never let anyone make you second guess your decision.
@@christins.1481 preach sister 🙏
The saddest part is that the programming goes so deep that even women who know they don't want kids will have them anyway. They are scared of being different, scared of losing their partners, scared of not fitting in, scared of being seen as "selfish", scared of disappointing their families or going against the mandates of their culture, scared of not obeying God (that be fruitful and multiply crap). It's a never-ending cycle of female socialization that if you are not serving a man and popping out kids, life has no meaning. Feminism has a long way to go.
People ? Strangers on the street or loved ones colleagues and close friends ?
My parents were DONE with kids & grandkids. For me the worst was at work! People in the office were RELENTLESS. I fell pregnant at 29, was devastated but went thru with it. Everyone said "Oh, you'll fall in love as soon as you see its little face" if I heard that once I heard it a THOUSAND TIMES. And you know what? They were WRONG. It took a couple years for me to come to love that child. But as soon as my child was walking, THEY GOT ON ME AGAIN. "She needs a little sister or brother!" NO, NO, NOPE. I had to get angry with these people and stopped trying to reason with them. I had to stare some of them down - literally be angry and stare them in the eye until they let it go. Yelled at one. Y'all I already had to deal with serious depression and anxiety, I was not fit to raise one child much less two. Societal pressure to have kids is HORRIBLE.
Same. I have one child and then they go, "aren't you going to give him a sibling?" I said does it look like I have someone by my side for another one?! 🤔 One and done thanks.
Exactly. no matter how many kids you end up having, there's always going to be people who will find any reason to try to force you to have more.
@@07Flash11MRC That's the unfortunate truth. I agree. Misery loves company. I would never convince a woman that she SHOULD be a mom. Never. It's not for everyone. Being a parent is a lot harder than one thinks it is. It's more than just cute pics, fun events, and soccer practice.
Wow it’s so rare to actually hear someone who has kids be HONEST about this. I don’t have kids and I’m pretty sure I don’t want them- but I also despise the narrative of “you’ll immediately fall in love!” I think your experience is an under-told one and more common than we want to admit. That must have felt so isolating. Thank you for sharing
Women are seen as docile and easily manipulated. Therr are plenty of us who say 'no' to that shit. I'm a businesswoman, I got no plans for kids ever. Since I was a child I never played with dolls, as a teen I never bothered with relationships. I've always been freedom orientated. You have no freedom or indivduality once the kid arrives.
I'm aggressive myself and been a manager for 20 years. Had so many people belittle me because I chose a "career" over children. I chose my marriage over my career. Multiple times I have been asked to move up the corporate ladder but I said "no" because it meant more time away from my husband. Even in a couple of years I'll be demoting myself to focus on myself and my marriage.
But are you taking Daily birth control pills and Tubal Ligation to be truly safe? Please also educate other young women not to be shamed by older men and some women also who may not be doing it maliciously but just brainwashed by 1000s of years of programming.
I just want to continue to be a touring musician and not be guilt tripped for it.
Civilizations are not built on "freedom and individuality," they are built upon citizens honoring their duties to their people. Attitudes like yours are why this country as we know it will soon cease to exist.
@@bluegoose777 Less people might even be the thing that saves us from destroying ourselves. Ponder that one. Oh, I guess you can’t, given you’re above all that. To honour and ignorance and all that shite, right? M’kay.
Love the comment about getting quiet and listening to your own heart instead of other people!
@@WebTeeDesign Who is more evil, the god that does nothing regarding evil and suffering or the breediots that keep bringing more people to experience evil and suffering and death? They both are but I am leaning more on humans. With the full knowledge of the suffering and agony that awaits people here, they keep bringing more and more and more humans to this place. they just do not give 2 F… and they dare to say they love those humans. That is not something you do to someone you say you love. They keep doing it for irrational stupid reasons. God did it once, humans will keep doing it forever. That is beyond evil.
there is this interview to a famous atheist, the host asked him, if it was true, what would you say to god to which he replies, bone cancer in children, how dare you?. creating a world that is so full of injustice and pain, how dare you?. I asks the same to humans, how dare you perpetuating a world that is so full of injustice and pain, how dare you perpetuating suffering of kids with cancer, kids that are born blind and deaf, kids being born with fragile bones that experience fractures all the time, starving kids, deformed kids... how dare you all perpetuating something like this. it is not right, it is utterly, utterly evil. there is no need to perpetuate this by recruiting unwilling participants just because otherwise, your little feelings would be hurt, just because your little wishes of imaginary immortality would not come true. how dare you all damn it. but that logic seems not to apply to humans because, apparently, humans are so damn special that we have the obligation to make sure they will continue to exist, forever, at all cost. having humans in existence is far more important than preventing children with cancer or starving.
Allah/Yahweh - The all ‘Loving’ and all ‘Good’ rulers of the universe Who sends you to BURN in hell for being born exactly the way He made you… for ETERNITY.
I think God created this universe because he was bored one day with nothing better to do so he thought, let me create a miserable world to satisfy my sadistic desires.
What makes all the religions so suspicious to me is that they always start with some guy... alone... receiving a divine revelation... with no one else around to witness it. And then the guy returns to his people and tells everyone that god exclusively gave him some rules that they need to follow. The person knows that people are essentially stupid and can easily be roped into buying whatever sack of lies he concocted. They buy the lies and give up all their power possessions and rights to the "high priest" and they slowly lose their ability to think for themselves and their individuality. Sounds like all of our parents. They don't create us until they're absolutely bored.
Imagine being a workhorse to survive and yet bringing a kid into this world to suffer the same destiny as you. Even if the world fell into the lowest cruelest part of a hell breediots would still breed there and give their babies to the torment. Breediots just want a slave(s) who is gonna do what they tell him/her or else they will whoop his/her ass.
@@WebTeeDesign always the men who think they know better 🙄
I feel sorry for women who allow pressure to get to them. If you are a feminist or even just for women's rights then you must not accept that pressure. Not everyone is meant to be a parent and we have evolved beyond the base animal level of the last 2 million years of expectations/norms of human kind. Think of children suffering is many broken families or loveless homes or orphans and one can easily laugh off any fool that tries to shame a woman who chooses to get Tubal Ligation surgery at a young age and take daily birth control pills every day till around 50 years old to be extra safe. Also women should pressure in a nice way (not using shaming language) the man to get Tubal Ligation surgerym
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 agree, we women must never give in to pressure. Men have been controlling every aspect of our bodies and it's insane. See the recent ban on abortion. Since when do men get to dictate and control a women's body.
@@WebTeeDesign Nope lmao
The relieve I felt when I realized having kids is a choice! So happy now.
Why dident you think it wasent a choice?
Society should stop pressuring woman to birth children. Once your a mother your whole life changes and if you can’t handle looking after a little human for 18 years don’t go through with it. It’s a woman’s personal choice at the end of the day on what we want to do. We shouldn’t let others force us or pressure us to do something against are will or not comfortable with. Personally I myself at 22 don’t want kids and I will never have a thrive for wanting kids I’ve never got baby fever at all. Maternity isn’t in my nature and that’s of maternity isn’t meant for all woman and should stop being pushed upon woman. I can proudly say what I feel and don’t give a shitt if others have different opinions or say I will change my mind later on doctors opinions shouldn’t never matter on this either. It’s important to look after are well being and mental health is not wrong and shouldn’t be shamed for it’s we deserve a healthy happy stress free life that doesn’t involve kids. Not to mention I’m pretty sure im infertile so that wouldn’t work anyways no matter what anyone tells you or says.
Please tell other young women, you can help a lot more than you think. Spread the message.
They try to make you think there is something wrong with you if you don't want to breed and give birth. It's insane.
It’s not just for 18 years… if you don’t raise your child right, you might be stuck with them living with you forever!
There is no society without children, there is no future, will be the end. If all of your parents thought like this there are no people here to discuss about it. Think about. The “pressure” to have kids is just for the continuity of humanity.
@@msoguitarcover5718 Stress is too much now. Ppl have their hands full just trying to make it through their own life. The future is looking really bleak. I would not have kids to possibly have them suffer. Too many problems to feel comfortable continuing our species.
Been married for over 30 years, the first discussion my husband to be and I had was not money (that came second), but children. We are childfree. First of all, I would make a truly horrible parent, second, husband is not suited for looking after kids. Best decision we ever made.
Because you are wonderful people that care about people's feelings.
And you know how harsh it is for children to grow up with parents who don't have the parental vocation. Congratulations, you both.
I hope more people understand what you have understood.
I do not want children because it really hurts to make them as i am fragile.
And getting the baby out is even more painful.
Never feel ashamed, this coming from a man.
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 Thank you. That means a lot to us women
@@ibanezgirl4623 you are welcome. There is no reason to shane a woman or man for not being in a relationship or trying to coerce them to get pregnant.
What you need is a good man in your corner.
And the pain is temporary
But everything is your choice
@@Steph-lc7hywhat if she doesn’t want a man or kids not everybody has to get married or have kids same goes for both man and women like not everyone wants that kind of lifestyle it’s just how it is not everything that might be good for that specific person is always going to be good for that other person so. If she doesn’t want kids or a husband that fine that’s her/ his life like it’s not for everyone.
Dont let anyone tell you what is best for you, at the end of the day you are the one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions not them. I’m a mother to one amazing little girl and wonderful husband and people are already asking me when I’m going to have the second one. Are they raising my children NO! People need to mind their business!
Correct. I am at the age of 30, doesn't felt to get pregnant till now and have a baby, seriously, specially in a inter caste marriage that is also in India 😂😅
I knew it wasn't just me being paranoid that it was a real thing
Exactly
My biological clock was never installed.
Lmao mine wasn't either😂
Nor was mine. I have a clock that tells me when to eat!
Same 👏👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not in my world! I stuck to my 67 years old guns! Happy!✌️😊
The pressure is so real, and what's so sad about it is that people don't take time to realize the generational trauma that repeats passed down to kids, doesn't magically go away.
I'm not saying therapy is a walk in the park, but one thing I'm proud of myself for is that I have invested in myself to do the work I need to do, to not repeat cycles of abuse or parentification I had to endure.
Whether I have kids past what society deems as normal or not, who cares.. I will be in a better space regardless
Can you do a sequel to this on societal pressure to get married?
Yes I agree I’m ok to have kids or not only if it’s organic with someone I truly want to start a family with. I could be a big sister, mother or auntie figure to other people in this world 😊
Thanks for sharing this video.
Feel like being a parent should be a conscious choice through knowing that it is the ultimate personality test (patience), which requires non-judging and indeed unconditional love (and no one teaches us this really)... which many people aren't prepared for and than regret parenthood
I actually never got the pressure by my parents/family or friends. There's friends who have asked. That's about it when it comes to my closer social circle. And I'm thankful that the pressure isn't that heavy and real on me. It has been occasionally with curious people I talk to. Like the neighbour of my parents who asked if it isn't time for me to have kids too (like my brother). But the pressure is strongest through media, by the judgements, mostly of men, that I see on the Internet.
Same here, though most of the pressure came from co-workers. Many years ago when I worked in retail, one co-worker on the subject said to me, "Everyone has to change a diaper." My polite reply: "That won't be happening to us." I think it shocked her, LOL
Children society doesn't want to take care of. Glad I have none. 57 and forever young.... No regrets.
Everyone leave folks alone if you're a woman if you want children or marriage great if you don't great. Men if you want children and marriage great if you don't great.
Never felt pressured by family. We all do our own thing. Society never bothered me either. I’d just tell people to mind their own fucking business.
Period 💅💅💅💅
I'm 18 and i've know since i was 13 that i would not have kids, mostly because my health is not of the best and the amount of illnesses coming from both of my parents families that i could pass on are pretty serious and i dont want to give a innocent kid this kind of life that i might have to face when im older (lets hope not🤞🏻). Beside that i never liked the idea of being pregnant, the birth ecc. I kinda like the idea of fostering and helping a family so i might do that in the future once i have a stable life. Anyway that's my opinion good luck yall.👍🏻
I'm 42 and living a quiet life with my husband (16 years together) and our two cats. Never wanted children, never will. I was born this way. I didn't want to play with baby dolls as a child because I couldn't see anything remotely fun or interesting in playing a mother. I never had any interest in motherhood.
Congratulations on your decision. My wife is 41, I'm 38, childfree marriage. We never thought about having kids because it was never an option for us. We adore our freedom and life WITHOUT children. We have a dog and that is enough for us.
PS I agree with you, Cats over brats!
YOU HIT THE JACKPOT! NOT JEALOUS OF Y'ALL!
Yessss girl 💅💅💅💅💅
I love that! You don't need to be a mum to make a difference to people young or old.
Best quote 👍👍👍👍👍
I was lucky in that I didn't have any pressure put on me to have children. Both mine and my husband's families didn't bring up the subject of our having children. After I had a child, my mom and sister both commented that they never thought I'd have kids. That was the total comment from the family on my having little ones. Both families were very laissez faire about kids. Both families loved kids, but didn't pressure their kids to produce grandbabies.
I know many women are hit with the "When are you going to have children?" pressure question. And if they don't want children they are then battered with "WHY NOT?" I wish every woman could have parents and in-laws like mine. I learned from them how to handle the situation when my LO asked if I would be unhappy if I didn't have grandchildren. I asked her back "Do you want to have children? Her reply was "No" I told her that I wouldn't be unhappy if she didn't have kids. As long as she's happy, I'm happy.
Lmaooooo omg why do I feel so seen !!
Awesome video. Hope life is treating you well.
NO PRESSURE! Just folk who think we can be pressured!
The only pressure is the pressure we put on ourselves. We should not care what society thinks.
I have been lucky to not have the friends and family pressure. However I get a-lot of wow you have no kids from people in general?!? Followed by the snobby look of disgust. Especially in churches. It’s like I have a scarlet letter. I am ok with no kids. Those people don’t pay my bills.
Yes this is a fact every sine I just turned 30 my paternal grandma tells sometimes not to wait too long to have kids but its like I dont want to be a single mom and im not in a rush to have kids and im not looking for anybody either right now Im just going with the flow of life. I dont see how yall parents are doing right now whether single parent or not it is expensive to have kids right now and let alone have them as a single parent.
It's not societal pressure. Its not even family and friends pressure. It's family and friends who care about you.
I am society. I don't care what you do.
Nationally & globally, we can't feed, clothe & educate the children that are here now, nor can we guarantee their safety from DV or SA. If everyone (capable) had children our resources couldn't take it. Bc of my traumatic childhood I chose to remain single & happy. But every individual has their own reasons that they don't owe explaining to anyone bc it's their decision. If you're one that truly believes having more children is best, then adopt some of the thousands of children spending their lives in foster homes until they age out of the system.
the feelings are real and they come from you
thank you!
I don't know, I think I want to be obligated to having children due to the life I was given, I will have 4-5 kids someday I hope.
Also from government For you see children represent new workers thus improving the country's GDP.. See what's happening in Japan.
It's only pressure if we allow it.
It can be difficult enough (and rewarding) if you WANT children (I have children so I can attest to that). So, if you don't want them, I'd say take measures not to create them. Let me say about the mothers having children at 40 and over-- There's a reason why women are most fertile when they're younger. Raising children takes energy and that starts to subside as a woman gets older.
Totally agree !
Societal pressure for men to have a job is REAL.
We're all forced to hold down a job for most of our lives, but that's because we live under capitalism. If you don't like it, go change the system and stop crying about it.
@@siddharthavicious108 "you get to sit on your arse as others work to provide for you": Lmao, nice strawman. That's exactly what we have under capitalism! Capitalists free-loading off of working class people like me.
"No, you'll end up gulaged mate.": You got exactly zero real arguments, which is why you need to make violent threats against strangers online while yourself being anonymous. Please, lmfao. Why don't you put your real name and address on here? You too much of a wuss to fight your battles in real life?
"I think it's great there's social pressure for men to work hard to provide and also for women to have children.": I'm glad you enjoy working class people being sl@ves to and for capitalists. You didn't have to own yourself this hard.
Women are pressured to get well paid employment also! Can everyone see the madness
@@nadinefay1560 except all those who don't need to work because they're in a loving relationship with someone who provides for them as they nurture their children. I know, that sounds like a fascistic hell to you, but sane people get along quite well with that lifestyle.
This is meeeeee
Maybe you are just here to make it easier for women in the future, Is it more impactful to do what everyone else is doing or to start a new way of thinking?
Yes please inform other women not to fall for this pressure. You can make a change as a woman explaining this is more useful than us men saying it. Older men will put a lot of pressure but please dont hate them, they are just brainwashed.
That is why a term was invented for it. If it was not real there would be a term for it.
If you want to have kids cool if you don’t want kids cool. People need to learn how to worry about their own life.
I will say some people who unfortunately ended up in some messed up situations having kids out of wedlock will feel some type of way towards ppl who prefer to prioritize their career and freedom. Yikes.
None the less this box thinking is the ruiney of society let alone comparing yourself to people on social media.
I'm sure you will feel the same in 10 years
Some just want to die with cats by their side.
This is nonsense… these modern women are on dating apps throughout their lives getting dating experience until they look for a beta provider in their 30’s… we are on to the game and aren’t coming to rescue them anymore
I think i need a sponsor ! 🤔
No, society is loving and caring about you and it wants to taking care and contain that same stable society.....
Pressure for men to have a job is real. You get it from everyone. Why can't people just let you live your own life that makes you happy? 😂
Women are pressured into jobs as well, when they are not being pressured into being a birthing vessle. I don't know why you keep singling out men as if women's retirement doesn't depend on the women themselves working for it.
You jane,
Prezsure then maybe now a union bait
Ok so doesn't mean you should social pressure says cut your legs off you gonna do it or live best life you want not what others want
Try again but in English
@@sugoinspice9952 lol Hindi my first language
Then write it in Hindi. It can't be any worse than what you put out in English.
@@07Flash11MRC over 90percent of English speakers don't speak perfect Grammer
I respect what you are saying. But it is not easy to have children in your 40’s and actually almost impossible with your own eggs by around 43 early 40’s. It happens but it actually doesn’t work that way for many people. There is also a rumor perpetuated that you have into your 40’s and you actually have very few eggs left. Do some research if you want to know more about it. I wish it wasn’t true but it is. Many women are wake up to this very unpleasant reality in their late 30’s and early 40’s.
I hate these comments that suggest women are idiots who are acutely aware of their fertility. The ‘ticking clock’ is shoved down our throats by the media, society, strangers and friends and family. There is no ‘rumour’ about being fertile into one’s forties. Most women are fertile in their forties. It might be harder, but it’s not impossible. Most women who try to get pregnant in their forties do end up pregnant.
Who are ‘not’ acutely aware…
This is such a LIE. Read the statistics OP. Women are still having no trouble conceiving after 50 years old. Why they want babies at that age is beyond me, but they have no trouble conceiving or carrying. My Aunt Nettie had my cousin Frank when she was 52. He has had no health problems whatsoever. He is now an anesthesiologist.
I feel like it's more about biological pressure than societal. You see a lot of career driven women getting older and feeling depressed because they're DNA tells them they need a baby.
As Elon put it.. We MUST extend the light of human consciousness into the next generation.. In my opinion, it's the least we can do to honor those thousands of generations that came before you who clearly, fought, suffered and died just to make your life possible.. and then you come along.. "I want my me time.. I just want to be happy." 😂 .. Guess you're right though.. some people shouldn't have kids.. Mother nature refers to them as genetic failures.. but hey.. what do I know?
yea cry me a river lmao women still play life in easy mode
Not at all true. Women play on the highest difficulty still. It's white men who are coddled to success.
Yes but the biological pressure is so much stronger.
No, it's not. Lmao. Just don't give in.
Impulses of an animal.
We're not animals! We can think, plan, reason, and make decisions.
There is no society without children, there is no future, will be the end. If all of your parents thought like this there would be no people to discuss it here.
Think about. The “pressure” to have kids is just for the continuity of humanity.
Why does humanity have to continue?
@@freedommatters7677 And why it has to end? If we just give up to have kids we give to someone a chance to live this life. Of course our days are hard but it was in the past, this life is the only thing we really know, we don’t know what happen before or after life, I don’t even know if there is before or after this life.
@@msoguitarcover5718 when was it said that it has to? No one is forcing you to not have kids, unlike the other way around
It's really not that deep. I'm glad that you're a breeder and have been blessed with your children. Now PLEASE be happy for me that I didn't and have no regrets.
@@freedommatters7677 I am not forcing anybody to have kids, just saying to reflect about, ok?