Jerma's CAREER ENDING Story
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- Опубликовано: 21 май 2023
- this is THE jerma clip, i don't think jerma can ever tell another story to rival the amount of laughter and disgust chat has ever felt. when jerma started telling the story i swear that was the fastest i ever saw jerma's chat move, about 6x faster then the chat I have on screen. (i keep it this speed for readability even though it misses out on messages. :) )
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Jerma is so embarrassed and dances around the fact he smoked weed but without missing a beat blurts out he shat himself. Bless him
THIS IS WHAT KILLS ME THE MOST
first one is a choice, second one is an accident
He's like: "Um yeah I did something the other day, it's uh... How could I say it... Well, you know the adults when they are stressed they want to relax and some substances help them do it. Weeeeeell, I've tried one of the substance and it was totally legal by the way and I do not encourage anyone to do it _especially_ if they are underage (don't do drugs kids). And so uh... I'VE TRIED WEED yes I said it I said it , I've tried weed
Oh, by the way *I'VE FUCKING SHITTED MY PANTS* after that, just saying"
Like he's always walking around some topic that's not even a big deal, but after that just tells straightforward one of the most deranged things you've ever heard and is acting like it's nothing
Truly a PSYCHO
If I'm remembering my lore right, and I hope so since I suffer from a similar condition, Jerma has Colitis. Let me put it this way, you lose ANY sense of dignity and embarrassment about shitting when you deal with these conditions. It just does that to you. I'd probably have said it exactly the way Jerma did lol
He should be embarassed. What an awful standard to set to his viewers to be a drug addict
Good thing he saved himself the embarassment of telling one close friend by instead of admitting this to his entire audience.
But we are his best friend
@@gazover_ exactly
@@gazover_ holy parasocial
@@FeeIRG no its normsl
@Feel he's the one with a parasocial relationship to us actually
I love his complete inability to say “I was high” without first reciting ten lines about weed legality
but very blatantly with zero hesitation says he shits his pants with the most ingenuous tone of a 37 year old toddler
But he has no issue just blurting out "I shit my pants"
and then just immediately blurts out that he shat his pants
"Lines" like hes got a script hahaha
@@apehawk tbh I would be more embarrassed of being high than shitting my pants. drugs are cringe but shitting yourself is asserting dominance.
The best part of this for me was the "Don't shit yourself" at the end like he wanted this to have a fucking moral
It was a commandment
Too late…😞
Jerma declares Not Shitting Yourself to be the 7th heavenly virtue (he's replacing Chastity)
the fecal aesop
If it wasn't for that psa, my pants would be soiled right now
The reason Holly wears the pants in the relationship is revealed: because Jeremy shit in the last pair
Holly wears the pants Jerma shit in.
Holly wears the pants Jerma wears the diaper
based on my knowledge of jerma lore, he just doesnt wear anything
@@lrizzard tighty whiteys only. just don't look at them from behind
I thought holly was just a caretaker at jerma's asylum.
Love how chat actually literally begged him to stop talking and cut the mic
"Let him cook"
"CUT HIS MIC"
someone commented "jerma look at an analog clock" and i cackled
Man it killed me when Holly said Jerma was shitting himself in silence. Jerma is exactly like a child because when it's quiet you know they're doing something they're not supposed to.
I'm picturing jerma crouched in the corner shitting himself like a toddler resistant to potty training now
jerma probably makes a shit ton of mouth noise around his house so when things get silent then it's a good sign he's shit himself
edit: lmao nvm he literally says he does
I just imagine him sitting on the couch, visibly struggling but still completely silent
@@finn596 It's also worth noting that he didn't accidentally shit himself. He INTENTIONALLY shit his pants because that's what weed Jerma wanted.
You're shitting yourself, go to the bathroom!!
Protip: don't get rid of an old plunger until you already have the new one
The plunger is the most powerful tool in the bathroom. And it has to he a plunger not that other one that's for scrubbing.
@@phoebeaurum7113 do you.. use a toilet scrubber to push down shit?
Pro tip: just disinfect your plunger. It's like a toilet brush - just disinfect and clean it after each use. You don't need to randomly throw it out lmao
@@Prawnsly they lose the ability to properly plunge over time.
Yes rubber will slowly perish and degrade - over a period of ~10 years. Unless you're leaving it out in the harsh weather and sun, I guarantee your plunger doesn't need to be thrown out nearly as often as you think.
People just LOVE to buy new shit. @@acewmd.
He can never just say “took” about weed it’s always “partake” or “consume”
He's like that uncle who doesn't know what he is and what he isn't allowed to talk about with children
partook
@@flybot98 partake, partoke, partukken
i was partaking in the festival of CBT
partake, portoke, purtoken
I love the brief part of chat going "it's just a weed story thank god" before the REAL story hits
It's so charitable of Holly to look after this adult baby.
She's his caretaker
@@DestroyedArkana Government assigned handler
😳😳
@@user-lh7mt7zo7l It seems like a purely charitable act, until you realize she was assigned to do this by the state, in order to keep his homicidal tendencies subdued.
🤡🔪
@@BukiFox pov you k n o w lmao
if jeremy isn't doing his infamous thanos impression you know something is wrong
His iconic Thanos impression
if he ain't impersonating mr. Thans,
then shit hit the pants
"I am inevitable..."
"...Jerma?... Oh what the hell are you doing young man, the meatgrindr, again? That's 16 now"
Seeing this live was fucking surreal. You couldn't torture this out of me.
"I was high shit my pants and thought about paying Etalyx to deliver me a new plunger" was definitely not on my list of things I think Jerma will say 2023-2123 edition
It’s really not that bad calling it “fucking surreal” is pretty insane lmfao
I feel like if Jerma ever robbed a bank, he would be the one to call the police to report a robbery.
He wouldn't call, he would talk about it on stream
@@mikurusagawa6897 “so the other day, I was a little stressed so I, y’know, I just wanted to relax. And, and it’s not really something I do often, and I also want to say i live in a state where it’s legal. So I may have, y’know just decided to do some… some marijuana, there I said it. Anyways, I just robbed a bank.
So what you're saying is that he'd self report... like an IMPOSTER?
@@Xedlord apologise right now
"No chat i'm not calling the police! I just robbed a bank!! why would i call the police? No i'm not doing it! That would be insane! no! haha ah fuck okay i'm calling the police"
He didn't have to mention that he shit himself that literally adds nothign to the story
It gives it some color
@@hayk3000
brown, specifically
Jerma is so honest against his own self interest that he was going to volunteer TO ETALYX the information that the reason he clogged the toilet was because he shat himself, like he says "Imagine the conversation I would have had to have", NO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO HAVE THAT, just say that the toilet is clogged, why do you need to also say you shat yourself Jerma you beautiful bastard
@@GumitoGumito yeah lmao, couldve just said he was high and toilet was clogged so couldn't drive. The shit himself adds nothing hahaha
it IS the story
The most embarrassing part is learning he does thanos quotes around the house
I think this is like his 3rd time mentioning he does it and I can't stop smirking at the idea of hearing thanos impressions randomly in a house.
the rest could happen to anyone but man, most people would never think its funny to do thanos impressions around the house
I love the idea that he just got tired of his old plunger and threw it out without buying a new one
Like you can just not own a plunger, if you don't need one you don't need one, but its the fact he needs to somehow cover up the fact he doesn't own one.
@@mrlegodude96alt2 how did jerma get to 48 years old without purchasing a plunger
@@metalgearlikersupreme I mean I've literally never needed a plunger in my life, so I don't own one, but I feel like if you have multiple bathrooms why wouldn't you just buy one and put it in the bathroom you never use.
It was evidence
I cant belive jerma would kill those orphans
And he only gets a 1 week ban on Twitch for that smh my head
Those orphans had it too good for too long
For some reason I read this comment and genuinely believed he was going to tell a story about how he like accidentally burnt down an orphanage
@AnIdioticEnglishMan "no chat NO, i will NOT light that orphanage on fire"
Again?!?
He's been hanging out with ster too much and getting too jealous of ster's absolute devil-may-care attitude towards self-shitting. The fact that this came up not soon after a brief thought related to Overwatch - the beginning of all of their shared pants-shitting history - leads to a conclusive subconscious link that Jerma has formed between Ster, Overwatch and Defecation.
Maybe it's like when girls synchronise their periods. Eventually Jerma and Ster will shit themselves at the same time.
What the fuck is this community
devil may cry
@@endserenading333 motivated to shit my pants
@@user-lh7mt7zo7l this is one of the funniest comments I've read
I think it's fascinating how long Jerma takes to verbalize that he smoked some weed, like he's REALLY uncomfortable admiting to it, but then he just blurts out "I shit my pants" with no hesitation at all.
It's even more hilarious when you realise everyone knows he does weed cause he brings it up ALL the time but he's still so sheepish about it
Jerma is genuinely brave for saying this kinda stuff. Shitting your pants is highly illegal!
He's lucky he lives in Nevada, where the punishments, while harsh, aren't as bad as elsewhere. In Canada, for example, taking a "cartoon shit in your pants" is punishable by immediate banishment.
@@adotang_ does it make the foghorn sound when you realize you’ve beshidded?
@@knatspray it actually makes a comical “Prison bar doors closing” noise as you are kicked out of the country by a humorously large boot
There's moments when I'm on the verge of thinking Jerma is actually just another regular human being, but the man is so obsessed with trying to tell tales about the times he shit his pants/puked sleeves of Oreos. I just cannot bring myself to believe he's actually somewhere out there, free to roam and blend in with the rest of the people of Earth, him and his shit-filled garments.
Wait, you don’t shit your pants? Or puke sleeves of Oreos?!
T H R E W U P I N H I S M O T H E R ' S B E D
Well...that explains people typing "JERMA SHIT HIMSELF" when he raided Vinny last night.
I hope his caretakers get a raise after this one
Holly is paid the big bucks.
ADDICT streamer SHITS HIS PANTS and proceeds to CLOG the toilet
From this information we've gathered that jerma occasionally:
A. Gets high and shits himself
B. Takes cartoon dumps
C. Does Thanos impressions
Holy shit, he just dropped that on us like a ton of bricks
he dropped it on us like the SHIT in his PANTS
he dropped that on us like a blunt on his balls (and he shat)
Dont you mean a *shit*-ton of bricks?
Just like he dropped that shit in his pants
4:44 "oh you've been sitting on it alright" took me out for some reason
the way they were so quick to hit him back with that has me absolutely cackling
Kim Kitsuragi's admission of smoking hash is less embarrassing than this
"I have, on a few occasions -- when I was young and foolish -- shat my pants."
@@blackshirts_and_breads Conceptualization (Legendary) Success - Dookie Brown from Down Town!
At least Ster had a good reason
this is what being almost 40 is like. you simply become a geriatric patient
I know that's what this is - Jerma is like 38 or something. The majority of his audience is like 20 or something (myself included). You give a lot less shits when your older (and take more in your pants), but to his relatively young audience a story like this is kill yourself embarrassing. And it's fucking hilarious
I was falling asleep to the stream and him saying "I shit my pants" woke me up
it honestly didn't feel like a jerma story until he started talking about how he clogged the toilet and wanted to call Etalyx for a plunger delivery.
Why would he tell us this? We are going to take this to his grave. Every collab and raid we'll tell people that Jerma pooped his pants. We might even add diapers to the story.
Foresight 0/20
i swear to god hes into it
@@moltenchocolate9725 He zerks off to this shit
@@suqmaddiqq that's what he was doing when he shit himself
@@kimgkomg All that zaza made him horny thinking of car accidents
@@suqmaddiqq Jerma definitely got thrown out of the theater when Cars 2 came out
It's kind of crazy how many accidents I had so far as an adult compared to when I was an adolescent. 90% of the time my guts were already not doing so well and then risked a fart I shouldn't have and the last 10% was when I was sick and didn't make it to the toilet in time. Everytime it happened it felt dehumanizing. As though I was some animal that wasn't potty trained.
I've been there dude. Don't beat yourself up too much, and try to find humor in the situation. It's more common than you think
As somebody with Crohn's...you aren't alone, but it is okay and it happens, still sucks tho
hey sometimes them farts be sneaky, if anyone says it hasnt happened to em, theyre full of shit *badum tss*
I used to be embarrassed but you just gotta laugh at it. That’s life..sometimes it just happens I have IBS and it can be miserable some days to even go anywhere
I literally cannot remember 1 time I've ever sh*t myself, hell I've never peed myself past 6 years old
What are y'all doing?
watching jerma play games is the most anxiety and rage-inducing thing I've ever experienced
All I could focus on did he ever beat that like
how can anyone focuse when you telling everyone how you shit yourself.
Inner circle INNER CIRCLE
finally
I didn't think people watched Jerma for his gameplay.
jermas live chat is comprised of either the funniest people ever or the most insufferable people ever 😭😭
and the worst part is they all think they're the former
Ballfondler
@@ayoploif you watch jerma, you HAVE to be at least a little funny, right?
i like the guy in chat near the beginning who said "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TALKING" 1:40
How is this man alive??
thank GOD he isnt real
he just has a really good handler
He isn't. Undead Andy in the Krusty Krab.
simple, he ISN’T REAL
I was in actual tears when he was telling this live, I fell out of my chair and was struggling to even catch my breath from the absurdity of imagining this play out. Have not laughed this hard since the "listening to farting and screaming mp3 at the gym" story during monster rancher 4.
Hey man unrelated but I like your Cory in the house for ds profile picture
I NEED jerma's ADHD to stop being so relatable to my own ADHD experience. "it's like when your dog's been WAY too quiet for the last few minutes" 😭😭😭
Now Jerma and Ster are pants shitting bros
0:20 bro he sounded like he was doing a Nintendo Direct voiceover talking about the latest smash additions
Why is that so true
Ya know, when he's not going psychotic his voice is pretty relaxing
This man HAS to have a humiliation kink there's NO other reason anyone would share this willing with the world
I think that when he tells embarrassing story he's trying to get unpunishment so he can not think anymore about feeling bad about this stories
Really sick way to deal with emotions and fails
There were many ways to say you smoked some weed and ended up shitting your pants, and then there is the Jerma way.
This one story has been a more effective anti-marijuana influence than the entirity of D.A.R.E.
Jerma is just using the poop story to distract from the fact that what really clogged the toilet was the dismembered body parts of his victims. Truly sickening.
jerma can no longer make fun of ster for shitting himself to win an overwatch game cause he literally pulled out a toilet dookie with his hands
someone tell me the strain of weed he smoked because holy shit i want my hands on that.
Apt swear to use
@@xdmemes5821 dont do this to me
@@xdmemes5821 the brown toke
You want to shit your pants?
@@BaldorfBreakdowns yes
also the doordash plunger scenario seems like a really obvious (albeit disgusting) zorno setup lmao
'maybe there's ANOTHER way i can pay for the plunger i need to unclog the toilet i dumped my pants-shit into? (sexual wink)'
Jerma's trying to grind his dumper on the doorframe and make eye contact but the rancid stench keeps throwing him off and the both of them gag the entire time
Holly has been gentle parenting Jerma for years now, so proud of her
i was actually losing my mind when he was telling us i cant handle this
this new version of jerma is very something, idk if the version before the nuclear accident better
this man is going to kill me one day i swear
Honestly respect to this guy theres no shame in accidents like it happens whatever but I would be so embarrassed, so dude got some balls to tell the story xP
Jerma literally has no shame
Apart from burping, he's terrified of anyone hearing him burp to the fact that he'll bring attention to it when no one could even hear it.
Also been naked on stream... apart from that one time he got Holly to take a picture of him naked and put it on stream. This sounds like a bit but literally happened. (No zick or zalls, sorry)
Ster: shits own pants to clutch out a competitive game.
Jerma: does a Thanos impression and just shits himself.
Chat begging Jerma not to describe in excruciating detail the exact proportions of the shit in his pants is the funniest thing
I used to be a big Jerma fan. Can't believe he's hidden the fact he's been shitting, in secret, this entire time. Unforgivable.
i love how weird jerma's chat is - i'm just listening to the first few minutes of this, and Jerma is saying "it's the start of a break, i just wanna unwind, wanna relax" and *multiple chatters* are saying "he wants to flatten his penis"
i salute him because if i had this happening to me i would take it to the grave 💀
Aw man, having any usual annoyance happen while high feels 10x or 100x worse depending on how much you take. What a shitty day.
How the heck does someone simultaneously crap their pants and also clog the toilet?
HE LOVES THC AND GETTING ZOINKED
hes so funny about weed, hes a grown man, go ahead and get high, bro 😆 watching a jerma stream high is a fun time
Jerma smokes green and becomes mister green.
The thanos bit was more hilarious than the pants pooping
Streamer CLOGS TOILET with an ENTIRE SLEEVE of CHOCOLATE CREAM OREOS
got there 5 minutes before he started talking about it and was amazed that i was there for this
Jerma is FINALLY entering that stage in his elderly age where he'll start to just shit himself.
literally thought i was gonna black out when he was telling this story because i was laughing so hard
I fell asleep in the middle of this stream and then woke up to see he’d ended and I got a moment. Now that I know it was this, I’m glad I fell asleep
So thats why he streams naked.
big context: Jerma has Crohn's and Colitis, he's been talking about it all since the TF2 days
if you're new brace yourself for a lot of shit stories - it's a MAJOR part of his life
What kind of conversation do you have to be having with chat to be able to bring that up?????
Here in the UK, last Friday, it was National IBD Day :) not IBS - IBD is inflammatory bowel disease, so crohns or colitis. I know as I'm a crohns Andy. Well, their campaign slogan was "Poo With Pride" - so there you go jerma. shit your pants with pride LMAO
on a related note, I'm about two thirds in and I'm like barely able to read through tears of laughter but I can see ppl like STOP I'M EATING STOPPPP and I'm just melting down. I'm really sorry to break it to you guys but I'm Jerma's age, when you get to my age, you too will be laughing your asses off at infantile shit jokes
"obviously, you don't wanna tell anybody"
Clip length: 6:47
They should show this clip at school D.A.R.E assemblies
Literally nothing could prepare me for this video. Up until the moment he said it I was hopeful
Despite all the horrible things hes done Ive really enjoyed Jermas streams. Its a shame that its all gonna be over now.
What kind of psycho throws out their plunger.
How can this not be ironic this has to be faked. I mean I know Jerma is insane but THIS? This is a new low
let the man shit bro
Why are you so dumbfounded by a man shitting his pants?
There is no low. Only a gaping bottomless Jerma Pit
He sounds like a christian mom trying to comfort herself after having to take medical marijuana
I still don't get how he clogged his toilet. Was that just a separate event that happened to come after him doing the deed?
Probably gambled on a fart, lost, went to go finish his business properly and the toilet clogged.
Bro took the gas station brownie
Last dance with MaryJerma
You could not waterboard this kind of story out of me
The way he just so casually said it after bumbling over the weed thing caught me so off guard. I didn't even click what he said for like 10 secs
Unbelievable but believable.
"I've been sitting on this topic for four weeks" SITTING on? Jeez clean your pants Jerma
HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH
JermaClips back with another banger!
This man can't even relax and partake in the forbidden herb without making it a jerma moment
So he, smoke some w33d, shit his pants, clogged his toilet and realised that he missed a plunger?
I swear to god jerma is pure comedy
note that for the first minute or so chat was talking about a “penis flattening stream”
Jerma might be one of the mentally toughest people out there. He considers SHITING himself a SLIGHT annoyance.
I listened to the 4 minutes of this weeping with sadness over an unrelated irl thing but I think it'd would've been longer if I hadn't been watching this video. Thanks uploader.
Torture couldn't bring this out of me
Did no one ask what he was doing that made him shit himself?
Any sane person would clean themselves up, take a shower, go to the store, buy a plunger, and come back and take care of it. But then we have Jerma
To be fair, Jerma said he was high and didn't wanna drive out because of it
I love the first chat reply you see is an all caps NO when he says I shit my pants
Happened to me once when I had to increase my lexapro dose :(