I love the viewer interviews because of the fact that since they're a part of this community, they've grown to be very mentally aware before they even come on the stream.
@@navidjavan7472 definitely, this interview specially and many others have helped me to find out the root cause of my problems what I have had almost 2 decades now, I am not sure how to fix them, but hell, I am at least getting somewhere in trying. I feel like a lot of the streamers(not gonna name them) are wearing this mask when they come on, the same way they put on that mask when they stream. Also a lot of them I think believe they know everything already before coming on and are trying to stay at the same level as dr K, if you know what I mean? Instead of trying to learn they are trying to teach something they have little idea about really. It seems to be something what they have learned unconsciously during streaming I guess? But some streamers like asmond, codemiko and even pokimane have been very genuine also.
@@jetjet6560 ooooo99o99999999999999999999999999999999999oooooo9o9oooo999999999999999999999999999999999999999999ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999o999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999o9o9o9o999999o9ooo9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999909⁹ the best of luck and no doubt about this in your life you will have the opportunity of getting your number and you look into your WALLS to create an interesting place in a bad place to find a good place in life to get your number in a big box office for your next job as you know the answer for a changed and a little time is not the Brad or your favorite part about your own experience with your number and you are ok and your family has the best interests and goals in their work environment for you in order and the death penalty is not the Brady team that you can expect in your life for this year's most memorable season in history for this film as it turns to be in this series for you in this film about it all the other movies in a few episodes and it's 99999999999999999999999o9ooooo99
@@SnailHatan yes he is, he regularly administers therapy, thus making him a therapist. He isn’t a psychologist or a LPC, he’s a psychiatrist but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a therapist.
Hey all, Rev/Gabriel here, just wanted to apologize for the terrible audio quality on my end. I had switched from windows 7 to 10 recently and it turns out I forgot to adjust my discord mic sensibility so it kept cutting out a lot. I was pretty disappointed when I noticed it watching the VOD, hopefully yall can sit through the video and take something away from it. Guess what im saying is, my message to thousands of people is: WHOOPS
its ok bro u dont need to explain . we got 99% of it and it helped a lot to me cause i feel the same about motivation. so u coming out and experiencing similar things to a signifant part of viewers is >>>>>>>>>>>> technical issues thanks and gl in ur selfdiscovery of the feelings
don"t worry about it :) watched the whole thing and it didn't bother me at all. Thanks for an awesome interview and I wish you luck on your journey to rediscovering your emotions and yourself!
1:24:07 "As long as there's a voice in your head telling you any action you take is worthless because it's never going to amount to anything, it's going to be impossible to motivate yourself." Definitely have been in this thought loop before.
Man, the way he is dumping his whole life story to Dr K is exactly how I started therapy. I had already dealt with so much stuff in my mind bc I felt so bad wasting my family's money on a therapist so I just did some good ol diy. But still, I missed so much. Cause when your own mind isn't ready to ask some questions, you can't process it. And only another person, who notices the cracks while you are talking, can think of those questions. And when those questions get asked, it gets you to start opening hidden doors that you couldn't ever see by yourself.
1:28 "If I cannot fix what's wrong with me, no one can't. Therefore no therapist is helpful for me." 2:50 "seeing but not percieving, hearing but not comprehending, touching yet can't feel" 19:40 "I'm gonna turn myself into machine so nothing could hurt me" 24:06 "When detached from reality can't be motivated when lacking presence in the world, having scattered thoughts and mind in the fog" 28:22 "world started moving at lightspeed" 34:54 "I wanna cry but just can't" 38:05 "How could she allow this to happen? To me being robbed of emotional connection with adults" 45:00 Would you rather understand yourself or feel yourself instinctively? 47:05 "I make fun of serious stuff and offend people easily", incel stuff. 49:05 "I'm capable of [doing] a lot of things, and it's frustrating I'm not". Anger, rage inside. 1:00:28 Blaming yourself. Sadness and anger. 1:07:30 "-why can't you be like other kids?" 1:13:05 Great chameleon of mental illnesses. 1:16:35 Theory of mind. 1:25:59 Effort to get to the ideal creates sense of incapability. 1:28:37 Enlightenment = Realization. Non-duality. 1:30:50 Meditation. Why is that the true self? Why I prefer perfection to imperfection? Who prefers that?
As a psychologist in training, as well as a human being (with a 'difficult' past myself), I enjoy these videos so much. Although I'm usually more of a member of "Team silent subscriber", I just felt the need to share how grateful I am to have found this channel. Erm, yeah... I guess that's all. *I hope all of you are doing okay!!*
Thing is even though we experience things individually, collectively life as an experience usually includes alot of similar events that people struggle or have struggled with. Ofcourse though domestic abuse is fucked up, but sadly it's pretty common. I had a fucked up step father too, complete narcissist, luckily he didn't do anything physical, although sometimes I hope it would've been only physical abuse, because the mental abuse must've left alot of scars but aswell similarily I don't remember alot of it as a self-defence mechanism.
58:00 damn, Dr. K pulled a top 10 anime betrayal there jokes aside, great video and interaction as always, hope Gabriel finds his way and feels better ahead in his life.
@@diegolaparra351 it's brilliant cause it's almost as if he is doing what he said he wouldn't do - he's bludgeoning him - but in a soft way, you can see Gabriel seems to really be feeling a lot while Dr K is speaking at this point
I think in another life I'd be fine going online with my stuff. But I'm a little older and too much might get negatively impacted by doing that? Idk. I wish I could feel so fine with being so extremely publicly vulnerable tied to my real face and all of it.
@@VioletEmeraldwhy not still be vulnerable and tell your story and get the help, even if you have to not show your face? Showing your face doesn’t make or break the helpfulness of these type of sessions 💛
Extremely relating to Gabriel on a lot of this. This conflict between feeling like you've been stuck and numb and 'dead' forever, then suddenly starting to make some amount of internal progress that doesn't REALLY provide tangible results, and not knowing how fragile it all is and whether it's really making a difference... Makes it hard to tell whether I'm pretending or like I'm a totally different person, or if I'm actually growing. I was surprised that Dr. K said the first thing to look into is Self-Loathing in this situation - that just happened to be what I tried to focus on first before finding this channel, though in retrospect it might be the only viable option. Can't really focus on any of the other shit if you hate and fight yourself while doing it. Hope we'll have more "Level 2" interviews like this, more people in the middle of progress.
It’s sad, i know what he’s going through, i’ve been in all of the same situations, and it feels like my life is passing so fast, and i don’t know where to get help.
The reason why sometimes everything seems pointless to me is simple. My brain calculates how high the effort is to reach a certain goal with the activity. If the goal now is a "happy life", then it sees no way to get there and considers the work ahead of me as too hard or unnecessary. This may be because I cannot relate to how a happy life should feel or look. Consequently, my motivation can only come from avoiding pain. This also happens exactly as suspected. I project the consequences of my actions or inactions into the future and try to prevent negative outcomes. Furthermore, it explains why most motivational books and guidebooks based on imagining a desirable future have not helped me. Thank you for this insight Dr. K.
"I'm gonna turn into a machine so no one could hurt me" was one of my thoughts when I got emotionally and verbally abused by my family. Sometimes I when I just think about something sad and I'll cry very easily. The label "snowflake" has been on me since childhood most probably because of how little mistakes I do, I'll receive physical punishment, I had to run around the house to escape my parents and if I'm lucky enough I get to lock myself in a room so they can stop beating the shit out of me. (I think parents should correct their children a humane way tbh.) And that results in a thought at the back of my head like "Oh dude you made a mistake, your parents are gonna beat you up and you're gonna cry", except that now I'm a grown up, the process of getting beaten up is gone. It's just "small mistake"=>"cry". I've been wanting to talk to my parents about it, but the last time I tried to, they just labelled me "snowflake" again, they told me that I won't get a job if I cry for a small mistake bla bla bla. I told them I'm aware of that but I literally can't control my tears, I want to but I just can't. It got really overwhelming and of course I started to cry again. So I do want to become numb so I could stop crying, feel less so people won't label me as a "snowflake". Sorry for the long bs, just really wanted to get it out.
Y'know how a lot of these interviews help people, b/c us lurkers get to say "Hey, that sounds familiar... I'd never thought of it like that, but... huh...". Your comment just did that for me. Thankyou for taking the time to comment xx
@@alexandramaclachlan7597 I'm glad that it was helpful to you :) this community is definitely one to stay for, I learn a lot of new perceptions from all of the interviews, it helps me to think better and changes how I think. Couldn't be more grateful :D
I was often labelled "manuplative" and "trying to win an argument through tears" since I am a girl whenever I cry (lol, I was ten the first time and fifteen the second time). I tend to not talk with them for a long period of time, essentially "muting" myself and again "turning emotionless, as emotions always hurt me". Thank you for the story, I relate way too much on "Oh dude you made a mistake, your parents are gonna beat you up and you're gonna cry" I have breakdowns before the actual punishment because of this. I come from a financially middle class home, so we didn't had any room for me so I used to lock myself in the bathroom and cry so that I wouldn't have tears left when they finanly get to me lol. I am still a teenager, but I hope someday I too will be a strong person like you to confront my family
I can only assume you're a guy because of the snowflake label and it's a society thing in which the guys can't cry or they be called weak. But anyways I have the same issue of just getting emotionally overwhelmed in which whenever I want to talk about something important and something personal but get dismissed whether its anger or hurt I just start to cry and can no longer speak coherently. When this happens I would often times wish I were stronger and void of emotions so I wouldnt feel anything, pain hurt loathing shame anger. Idk how to fix just that to learn and practice controlling my emotions
This guy is incredibly smart. I'm saddened to hear about his past but he has persevered through and managed to gain a huge amount of wisdom and self reflection. Against all odds, we will make it.
This is often overlooked, but "energy" can only be aroused if there is a reason/cause for it. Sure, if you are exhausted, rest replenished energy, but otherwise you need to _do things first_ and energy comes with it
@@wissen9000 I believe introverts can have tons of energy. But it mostly comes from being alone or with very small groups of trusted people. Because extroverts get energy from being with people, you see the extrovert energy more often. Whereas introvert energy is more private and less visible.
So I need do something first so that I can become motivated, which means I am motivated by the prospect of getting motivation. Talk about a chicken and egg situation…
Dr K talking about multiple diagnoses because of trauma reminds me of one of the core themes of Kurt Vonnegut's book "Sirens of Titan": "I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all". This interview reminded me of the quote because I think the quote is an accepting and honest way of viewing the world/others after experiencing a traumatic event (or series of events). It encapsulates both the acceptance that you were the victim (which is essential to healing from a traumatic event ) and also observes the fundamental nature of our lives in that they are accidental/contingent. Things didn't have to turn out this way, they just happened to. And somehow I think that also makes it easier to digest the trauma, because you can say to yourself "I wasn't destined for this" and therefore you can overcome it! Long story short read Vonnegut, friends. I recommend starting with Breakfast of Champions or Cats Cradle first as they are two of my favourites.
I might be a little late to the algorithm but this interview was touching and Vonnegut is one of my favorite writers. Thanks for the reminder to reread books I've read before internet stranger. Edit: This is an asshole
This video made me cry so bad. I share so many of Gabriel’s feelings and situations. I too rationalize too much and just feel numb sometimes regarding my parents behavior
I have been to a 1,000$ self help class and this free RUclips video is more powerful, a lot of invaluable content here. Thank you for having the courage to do this session Gabriel. Countless people can relate and will find help because of your honesty. And Thank You Dr. K for using your genius to help so many people for free, your positive impact on the world is immense. It’s extremely hard to find content on RUclips of this quality, I’m so thankful I stumbled on this account a few months ago.
56:20 "I don't feel like heaping on you the abuse that it takes to get you to feel... I understand that you're hungry for it, I just don't think it's going to be good for you." - there's so much in there. Maybe this explains why traumatized people enter abusive relationships as adults, thereby retraumatizing themselves. We're so used to saying "everything is ok" and being completely numb to our needs and emotions, that we need someone who would push us way past the point of cruelty and violate our boundaries in order for us to feel our own rage and self-loathing. Either in order to try and feel our own feelings, or to try to do something about them.
not me getting heavily ghosted by the guy I was supposedly dating and still saying "haha, it's okay he must have been busy and wouldn't have time for me, he is such a nice person he should have someone better than me" because my parents really fucked me over with physical and emotional abuse.
As the only mental "survivor" of my extremely toxic and abusive family, I feel this. A couple of weeks ago, was the first time I got truly angry. Snapped while driving, pulled over and just screamed like some heavy metal artist for half an hour. I had been avoiding the catharsis for *years* only now can I say that I'm happy I went through that with myself instead of allowing yet another abusive person who resembled my family do it for me. One is a period of growth; another is a police report.
I can see your logic in this but I am 47 and after years and years of abusive relationships it never helped me but eventually got me to a place of shutting down most of my emotions around age 42. Feeling the emotions doesn’t help if you don’t know how to change the beliefs about yourself and experience them in a therapeutic way. Now I’m trying to heal so I can feel again. More abuse never healed anyone. And I don’t think that’s why we do it. We get in these relationships because we don’t feel worthy of anything better.
1:00:00 The emotional knife edge that Dr. K walks along when pushing and prodding at Gabriel is impressive with the care taken in the delivery before the rug pull. Hope you're doing better Gabriel
"I could've been stronger, I could've stood up for myself..." COULD YOU? Really? You were a kid, dammit! How do you imagine you could possibly be stronger than the multiple adults forcing themselves into your life?
51:35 I relate to ya boi's statement 100%. This must be exactly why people do sadomasochism. The pain brings relief 1:13:19😱 I was on the verge of tears through this whole thing. Thanks very much for being open and vulnerable.
The thing about not rationalizing what everyone has done to you and just feeling it was really eye opening to me. I've felt connected to Garbriel through the whole video but right there it's like Dr K was talking to me. What I gathered from that is: if you want to start feeling again, start with the things you avoid feeling because it's more confortable to keep those people in your life. Honestly, even if I got it all wrong, it's amazing how good this guy is at his job.
There have been so many amazing viewer interviews that I've watched recently but this was my favourite and the most accurate to the current stage in my own journey. Thank you so much Gabriel.
Parent(s): "Why can't you be like them [other children]?" I hate when (bad) parents complain about how their children are different from others when they should have done a better job themselves. "Why aren't you like other children?" Why aren't you like other parents? It's almost never a child's fault for becoming who they are - the parents have all the responsibility to raise, take care of and nurture their children to become strong, healthy and responsible adults. Stop blaming your children when it was your job to take care of them in the first place. "Why aren't you this, why aren't you that, why aren't you successful like X" Please stop with the nonsense. There exists so many bad parents today...
“Bad” parents are just adults living out their own childhood trauma unhealed. We live in a day and age where mental healing is way more available yet millions of traumatized people who have been purposefully trying for years to stop the cycle still can’t heal.
my boy alok had to really go through some meta shit in there I fucking loved it! Valeu Gabriel! Muito obrigado por participar, mano. Fui muito importante pra mim.
For those they came because of the title the last segment is what you are looking for 1- lately i stopped calling it depression and simply call it unhappiness. 2- the question about how to solve the problem of lack of motivation is never answered. 3- where is the line between accepting responsability for your actions/life and blaming yourself? if you are resposible but fail again and again how can you not call it blame? 4- there are things you are not resposible for. others are to blame. the world is full of problems. how do you deal with the inability to address the wrondoings of other people? 5- what are your thoughts on the possibility of your brain not being able to "feel" positive emotions, being it happyness or enthusiam?
Thank you for this interview I found it very interesting. The part about taking time with yourself, not overstretching your capacity to feel right now, despite desperately wanting to go all the way, is so important, be gentle with yourself in these processes. Well done Gabriel for taking on this challenge of a deeper connection with himself, I wish him all the best
This is the example of those of us who believe we’re “not enough.” The laughing Buddha who awakens to his original love, light & power. If we believe we are valuable we can be & if not, no matter how true it is, we can’t embrace it. There truly is hope for all of humanity if we can simply find our own light & stop looking for it in others.
I see myself in this man, the barrier between mind and heart. This is very eye opening! I felt something too. I never understand what some people mean when they say they are fundamentally broken because I take things very literally so it's like, how can you be broken if you're sitting there and you can form sentences and whatnot, but I do feel fundamentally ineffectual, that's how I like to word it so my mind can more readily understand. The lack of motivation sucks! It's so frustrating. It's like you want to do stuff but even your best isn't good enough because you're you and you're never going to be good enough. And you can tell yourself that you're great until you're blue in the face but it still won't make a difference because it's just more denial of your repressed feelings, and other people can tell you that they love you to the moon and back but it just feels like a lie. I get this dude. I've struggled with depersonlization and derealization a lot. It's like being shut out access to your own self. I know my mind is sneaky. It's tripping me up and I'm its owner!
Wow terribly relatable. Had a nanny when i was 5 who used to force eat me and yell at me that if i spit out or throw up she would make me eat it back ... Pretty hard to trust anyone after this ...
man I really relate to this "numbness", knowing what you want but struggling so much to do them anyway. feeling dulled, out of phase with the world and my senses - I've never really heard someone else describe this part of how I feel the same way before this really makes me want to talk to Dr K, also because I've never found a therapist that I could relate to. they're just from very different walks and intellectualise everything, which I can already do myself and it's just not helping - I really appreciate how Dr K is just emotionally open and really goes into things WITH people, I think I would really benefit from that
Ah man I put off watching this interview because the title told me that this was going to hit very close to my current struggles. Glad I managed to come around to watching it, I learned the stunningly simple fact- obviously if you're chasing after a better version of yourself you can't exist as that person! Duh geez how could I forget something so logical and simple. Now just to work on what "being" feels like.
I know when my therapist blames my dad for not protecting me from my mom's abuse, I feel a mix of things. I feel protective of my dad and love for him and sympathy for him as a victim but I also feel... not loved by my therapist exactly, but kinda. I feel like it's validating a deep down part of me that felt let down by everyone, a part of me i don't dare let myself feel. I feel reassured indeed.
Honestly one of the most relatable and helpful interview i watched so far. I had a really bad rng spawn and people around me were shitty and generally made me feel miserable. Even tho i should've blamed all of those people for what they did to me i was just blaming it on myself saying stuff like "I should be stronger, i can't let other people opinions bother me". So what i did is that i bottled up all of these emotions and basically had really bad thoughts coming from them, but after watching this interview and letting them all slowly out i felt better. So thank you dr K for what you're doing, i really appreciate it.
I literally cried during this conversation on how similar was his experience to mine(just not the abuse part, it was more psychological abuse than physical). In school you have no one, at home you have no one. Even the betrayal part, I was betrayed multiple times growing up by best "friend". The games and anime was my only escape and that was all I ever did. I'm rooting for him!!
This one is for me, can't tell if it's because I'm depressed, cause I stopped smoking weed, cause I replaced my daily redbull plus monster energy with a few cups of coffee or what
Keep off the weed, eliminate your caffeine intake. Won’t solve your problems by a long shot, but it’ll defuck your situation a little. Source: I did the same shit for the longest time.
@@jesaunhoward8514 So I also struggle with severe marijuana consumption, but (and I know this sounds just like I'm lazy or a lowlife) but I really really really don't want to quit marijuana. Mainly because at times it feels like it is the last thing I have to look forward to in life. It may be the only thing i genuinely enjoy in this life anymore and the thought of giving it up for a chance at happiness elsewhere seems to me like a horrifying gamble and ive never been a gambling man.
@@TheFutureElement it sounds like rather than worrying about quitting anything, you should start something new, so that you can build new things to look forward to. Start a new hobby. If nothing jumps out at you, just pick something and work at it for 1 month. Idc what it is. Find a pen nearby and start drawing. Get a guitar or whatever instrument you can get your hands on. Start doing pushups at home and learning how to eat more healthy. Just pick something and do it without expectations for a while.
Why can't we just clone Dr. K a few hundred million times so that everybody gets their own Dr. K? Then we all could live our best lifes. He is so good at perceiving, analyzing, explaining, choosing a way of helping because his toolbox of possible ways to treat or help is so vast.
Dr. K, I love you man. Same for the people brave enough to come on and be vulnerable enough to open up. Thank you for these gems. They've helped me so much!
Vayne is literally my identity right now and I can relate to him sharing that dota was apart of his identity. I wish I could end the fight between Obsession Vs Passion regarding my love for this champion.
It's really helpful to hear you interview people who have been watching the streams for a while and are ready for step two. It lets you do step 2 as AoE.
I found this one particularly fascinating for some reason, I even found myself taking some notes on certain phrases that were said because they seemed really helpful. The "trauma is the great chameleon of mental health" by itself is such an interesting quote and also I think educational, now I feel I should of been taking notes the entire time I've been watching HealthyGamer and Dr K's stuff. Keep it up Doctor K, I feel like you're helping to educate so many different people.
This is an absolutely wonderful discussion i am so glad this exists online. I really really value this. I wish i could speak to dr.k but I'll do my best to speak to a therapist as soon as I'm a bit more stable.
This should be taught at schools, why do we only learn this when we are grown-ups and the damage is already done? Holy shit this is awesome, your work is very much needed and appreciated, thank you.
Thank you Dr K, I only recently found this channel, my first video of yours was the tectone video since I play genshin impact as well, but you've already helped open my eyes to a lot of things about myself that i've struggled with for the longest time. Your explanation about how trauma relates lack of motivation in this video was especially eye opening.
I feel like I chase a very similar dragon. Hopefully I can also get past feeling of needing the good doctor's assistance. Or maybe find the strength to reach out. Powerful interview.
I relate to this so much. I remember one time I felt like I was here, and then something fucked up happened, and since then it is like I am a tourist in my own life, just going through it all, like an entity in this body but not really a part of it. It's hard to explain
I feel this so hard, half a year ago i said to my parents, i felt like my problem were like a hydra, each head/problem i work on just spawn more. Then what also seems to fit is being taught inn elementary school that there is something fundamentally wrong with me as i did have friends (a lot backstabbed me), but it was and still is always just parts that get statisfied, I find the part of me that fits with other even nowadays. And i do feel broken aswell, there seems no end to this road im on yet this is the only thing i keep on doing for long periods of time. Almost anything else i stop doing that doesnt benifit me immediatly or has a clear goal.
Just in the first 4 mins Gab summed up how I interact with my worldview when it came with physical matters. My senses feel dulled do the extent I thought something wrong with my hearing. I just couldn't hear ppl when they spoke I heard them but words didn't come out, just noises as if my brain just didn't translate the slight inconsistencies with how different people speak into words I understand. So slight tone and cadence changes with words were enough for me to not understand an entire sentence.
This was a great video, as always from Dr. K. I want to ask, though: why might someone lack motivation if they have no history of trauma? I assume there are many possible causes, but lacking trauma of my own to explore, I'm not sure how to identify the root cause of my own preference for inaction.
He said that if you don't have faith in yourself, if you believe whatever you can do will amount to nothing, then you won't even try to do it. I assume that aside of trauma, if you feel this way, then you may have some other experience that caused you to think like that. I had the exact question with you a moment ago, that's what I came up with. Hope we both get better ':)
"it's your effort to try to get to him that creates the sense of incapability" as long as you're trying to get to him you're not him and what makes you not him is not being him
Why are 75% of the men in this person's life an abusive socio/psychopath? His dad, step dad, uncles, kids from school, friends that exposed/exploited him. Is this type of personality trait more common in certain areas? I've honestly never come in contact with anyone who behaves like this growing up in my 60k population town in Northern Ontario.
Most people don't like psychopaths when they discover their psychopathy and will then get away from them if possible so I guess that other psychopaths don't care if you are psychopathic and thus stick around. I haven't watched the video so I don't have any context.
School age children often lack empathy and will pick on whoever seems weakest unless the adults around them create a culture to prevent it. The way he was treated at school doesn't surprise me. Maybe you got lucky with the culture at your school and if you did I'm happy for you. For the adults in his life, the common factor is the men his mum chooses to date, and their relatives. Some people have a pattern of ending up in abusive relationships. It sounds like his mum had difficulty standing up for herself and getting the step farther to leave, abusive people will try to select partners like that because abusing them is easier. Maybe the relatives of the abusive men were similarly bad people because of something genetic or in the culture of the family.
@@SomeoneBeginingWithI Okay.. Phewf this makes sense. While I'm still sad and hurt to think he's gone through this (I'm a big softy) it's a bit of relief to hear that it's probably not happening to most of the kids / people in his area. I was imagining this just being the norm since it was so common in his reality, but you've explained a much more probably and promising situation.
I do think some areas (especially where finance is a big issue or maybe too much empasis is being put on financial gains?) can magnify this behaviour because then the family start to look at the children not as living human beings but as little creatures that do nothing and yet take a huge chunck of resources. The reason his father must have hit him was because of his bad morals and homophobia and just because he had a lot of hatred in him, his father probably saw him as a tool to relieve his frustration as a punching bag of sorts. This also stems from societal value. I am so happy that where you grow up, you didn't had hitting kids is the norm (unfortuanately for me, where I live this still goes on), the homophobia also stems from environment (which led to his father trying to enforce such values)
Agreed it was the mom getting those people near him. But it's clear the mom was a victim too and it's hard being self aware of what attracts these bad people and pushing them out of your life is hard as it's clear they wouldnt leave her alone. I can sympathize with both him and his mother, his mother could have been brave and worked on herself but I understand it's very hard and also hving a child to also think about on top of working on oneself
Wow never I have a related to a view in a minute. I also have a healthy gamer coach and I realized that I had the same problem as Gabriel has; giving the package, but not the raw data. This puts a weird state of mind where you logically know what's right, but dismiss the problem and feelings exactly. Those who are seeking better mental health don't seek the answer so fast, it's okay to sit with your feelings and speak about bothering you:) Just wanted yall to know this is what I've gotten to realized pls don't take this as fact. The mind is complicated.
1:32:31 "hopefully one day you will realize... who the fuck is doing the swimming!?" I think I just had my moment of enlightenment. Because I just burst out laughing
I have no motivation for going ahead in my life , I am struggling to cope up with my studies before this I was good in studies but now a days I don't feel like studying If anybody have had this and you have come out of it Please help me with this I generally don't open up but this time I just wanted to Please help
not to be like that but his mother seems like the root to everything that happened to him. She wasnt there and she invited bad people. i mean if i put you in a pit of snakes is it my fault that you are getting hurt or is it the snakes? He shouldnt hold it against her after the fact but it's a cautionary tale for others to not do the same if you care about your children. Edit: nvm they went through that 40 min later
That's true but in her defense the mother was single. It is very hard to leave a child in safe area when you have to work because yours and your child s life depends on it or knowing the people aren't good but theyre the only people wholl wtch over the child.
I love the viewer interviews because of the fact that since they're a part of this community, they've grown to be very mentally aware before they even come on the stream.
I see the value in getting streamers for the interviews...but I will always like these ones more :)
I agree. I feel like viewer interviews are much more genuine and helpful for the average viewer usually.
@@navidjavan7472 definitely, this interview specially and many others have helped me to find out the root cause of my problems what I have had almost 2 decades now, I am not sure how to fix them, but hell, I am at least getting somewhere in trying.
I feel like a lot of the streamers(not gonna name them) are wearing this mask when they come on, the same way they put on that mask when they stream. Also a lot of them I think believe they know everything already before coming on and are trying to stay at the same level as dr K, if you know what I mean? Instead of trying to learn they are trying to teach something they have little idea about really. It seems to be something what they have learned unconsciously during streaming I guess?
But some streamers like asmond, codemiko and even pokimane have been very genuine also.
@@jetjet6560 ooooo99o99999999999999999999999999999999999oooooo9o9oooo999999999999999999999999999999999999999999ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999o999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999o9o9o9o999999o9ooo9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999909⁹ the best of luck and no doubt about this in your life you will have the opportunity of getting your number and you look into your WALLS to create an interesting place in a bad place to find a good place in life to get your number in a big box office for your next job as you know the answer for a changed and a little time is not the Brad or your favorite part about your own experience with your number and you are ok and your family has the best interests and goals in their work environment for you in order and the death penalty is not the Brady team that you can expect in your life for this year's most memorable season in history for this film as it turns to be in this series for you in this film about it all the other movies in a few episodes and it's 99999999999999999999999o9ooooo99
This therapist is a god damned CHAMPION. And Gabriel is extremely brave. I want to reach through the screen and hug him.
Same
This isn’t a therapist.
@@SnailHatan yes he is, he regularly administers therapy, thus making him a therapist. He isn’t a psychologist or a LPC, he’s a psychiatrist but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a therapist.
Good? Why was he saying those awful and ''abusive'' things to Gabriel, then?
@@ceterisparibus8966 like what?
Hey all, Rev/Gabriel here, just wanted to apologize for the terrible audio quality on my end. I had switched from windows 7 to 10 recently and it turns out I forgot to adjust my discord mic sensibility so it kept cutting out a lot. I was pretty disappointed when I noticed it watching the VOD, hopefully yall can sit through the video and take something away from it.
Guess what im saying is, my message to thousands of people is: WHOOPS
It’s all good I didn’t even notice. Thanks for sharing your story ❤️🤠
its ok bro u dont need to explain . we got 99% of it and it helped a lot to me cause i feel the same about motivation. so u coming out and experiencing similar things to a signifant part of viewers is >>>>>>>>>>>> technical issues
thanks and gl in ur selfdiscovery of the feelings
how did you get picked for the interview
I hate switching versions of Windows 😫
don"t worry about it :) watched the whole thing and it didn't bother me at all. Thanks for an awesome interview and I wish you luck on your journey to rediscovering your emotions and yourself!
1:24:07 "As long as there's a voice in your head telling you any action you take is worthless because it's never going to amount to anything, it's going to be impossible to motivate yourself." Definitely have been in this thought loop before.
Yeah, same as you.
Same, and still in it. I'm just glad I'm aware of the loop now. That's a good start.
Perfect
Man, the way he is dumping his whole life story to Dr K is exactly how I started therapy. I had already dealt with so much stuff in my mind bc I felt so bad wasting my family's money on a therapist so I just did some good ol diy. But still, I missed so much. Cause when your own mind isn't ready to ask some questions, you can't process it. And only another person, who notices the cracks while you are talking, can think of those questions. And when those questions get asked, it gets you to start opening hidden doors that you couldn't ever see by yourself.
1:28 "If I cannot fix what's wrong with me, no one can't. Therefore no therapist is helpful for me."
2:50 "seeing but not percieving, hearing but not comprehending, touching yet can't feel"
19:40 "I'm gonna turn myself into machine so nothing could hurt me"
24:06 "When detached from reality can't be motivated when lacking presence in the world, having scattered thoughts and mind in the fog"
28:22 "world started moving at lightspeed"
34:54 "I wanna cry but just can't"
38:05 "How could she allow this to happen? To me being robbed of emotional connection with adults"
45:00 Would you rather understand yourself or feel yourself instinctively?
47:05 "I make fun of serious stuff and offend people easily", incel stuff.
49:05 "I'm capable of [doing] a lot of things, and it's frustrating I'm not". Anger, rage inside.
1:00:28 Blaming yourself. Sadness and anger.
1:07:30 "-why can't you be like other kids?"
1:13:05 Great chameleon of mental illnesses.
1:16:35 Theory of mind.
1:25:59 Effort to get to the ideal creates sense of incapability.
1:28:37 Enlightenment = Realization. Non-duality.
1:30:50 Meditation. Why is that the true self? Why I prefer perfection to imperfection? Who prefers that?
Thank you for adding the timestamps to these insightful phrases.
Thanks you for these!! ❤️❤️
i love you
Best time stamp list ever! 🙏
As a psychologist in training, as well as a human being (with a 'difficult' past myself), I enjoy these videos so much. Although I'm usually more of a member of "Team silent subscriber", I just felt the need to share how grateful I am to have found this channel.
Erm, yeah... I guess that's all. *I hope all of you are doing okay!!*
you seem like a good guy
@@ilovemob7630 A 'good girl'. 😀But still, that's very kind of you to say. I'm trying my best!!
Good luck in your training and studying!
@@D_Jilla Thank you!! That's very kind!!
That's awesome! Are you training to become a therapist?
"By all means, be philosophical bro." - Dr. K
Someone put this on a shirt.
@@howiefuzz6894 yes
@@howiefuzz6894 Would buy
Dr. K five minutes later: "alright bro get outta here with your philosophy bullshit"
(jk he did a good job of explaining why he needed to stop)
I love this guy, he's so well-spoken, relatable and charismatic. He should start a yt channel.
This is weirdly relevant to my current mindset. How weird a coincidence.
RUclips algorithm is watching you
If I had a nickel for every Dr. K video I've said that too...
Same, dude
It happened to me so often when watching Dr. K. Feels like a godsent.
Thing is even though we experience things individually, collectively life as an experience usually includes alot of similar events that people struggle or have struggled with.
Ofcourse though domestic abuse is fucked up, but sadly it's pretty common. I had a fucked up step father too, complete narcissist, luckily he didn't do anything physical, although sometimes I hope it would've been only physical abuse, because the mental abuse must've left alot of scars but aswell similarily I don't remember alot of it as a self-defence mechanism.
As a fellow Brazilian is great to see someone so articulated and brave enough to share his story, thanks for that Gabriel
58:00
damn, Dr. K pulled a top 10 anime betrayal there
jokes aside, great video and interaction as always, hope Gabriel finds his way and feels better ahead in his life.
@@diegolaparra351 it's brilliant cause it's almost as if he is doing what he said he wouldn't do - he's bludgeoning him - but in a soft way, you can see Gabriel seems to really be feeling a lot while Dr K is speaking at this point
"he tried to beat my personality out of me." That took guts to say. Respect.
Lol I love when people tell their stories of their wild childhood and Dr. K gets the "what the actual fuck" face 🤣 That would help me feel validated
Lol i thought i was the only one to notice that, he looks like hes disgusted lmao
Yeah I actually need some help but I can't go online with my stuff it's just so fuxkt up lol
Wear a mask and change your voice.
I think in another life I'd be fine going online with my stuff. But I'm a little older and too much might get negatively impacted by doing that? Idk. I wish I could feel so fine with being so extremely publicly vulnerable tied to my real face and all of it.
@@VioletEmeraldwhy not still be vulnerable and tell your story and get the help, even if you have to not show your face? Showing your face doesn’t make or break the helpfulness of these type of sessions 💛
Extremely relating to Gabriel on a lot of this. This conflict between feeling like you've been stuck and numb and 'dead' forever, then suddenly starting to make some amount of internal progress that doesn't REALLY provide tangible results, and not knowing how fragile it all is and whether it's really making a difference... Makes it hard to tell whether I'm pretending or like I'm a totally different person, or if I'm actually growing.
I was surprised that Dr. K said the first thing to look into is Self-Loathing in this situation - that just happened to be what I tried to focus on first before finding this channel, though in retrospect it might be the only viable option. Can't really focus on any of the other shit if you hate and fight yourself while doing it.
Hope we'll have more "Level 2" interviews like this, more people in the middle of progress.
It’s sad, i know what he’s going through, i’ve been in all of the same situations, and it feels like my life is passing so fast, and i don’t know where to get help.
same man
You do know ;)
The reason why sometimes everything seems pointless to me is simple.
My brain calculates how high the effort is to reach a certain goal with the activity.
If the goal now is a "happy life", then it sees no way to get there and considers the work ahead of me as too hard or unnecessary.
This may be because I cannot relate to how a happy life should feel or look.
Consequently, my motivation can only come from avoiding pain.
This also happens exactly as suspected.
I project the consequences of my actions or inactions into the future and try to prevent negative outcomes.
Furthermore, it explains why most motivational books and guidebooks based on imagining a desirable future have not helped me.
Thank you for this insight Dr. K.
It sounds like to me you need to search for a reason to live for, because right now isn’t cutting it for you.
You should watch Dr. K webinar on procastionation types, i Think that Will help you a lot
You can only take actions you're not entitled to outcomes
"I'm gonna turn into a machine so no one could hurt me" was one of my thoughts when I got emotionally and verbally abused by my family. Sometimes I when I just think about something sad and I'll cry very easily. The label "snowflake" has been on me since childhood most probably because of how little mistakes I do, I'll receive physical punishment, I had to run around the house to escape my parents and if I'm lucky enough I get to lock myself in a room so they can stop beating the shit out of me. (I think parents should correct their children a humane way tbh.) And that results in a thought at the back of my head like "Oh dude you made a mistake, your parents are gonna beat you up and you're gonna cry", except that now I'm a grown up, the process of getting beaten up is gone. It's just "small mistake"=>"cry". I've been wanting to talk to my parents about it, but the last time I tried to, they just labelled me "snowflake" again, they told me that I won't get a job if I cry for a small mistake bla bla bla. I told them I'm aware of that but I literally can't control my tears, I want to but I just can't. It got really overwhelming and of course I started to cry again. So I do want to become numb so I could stop crying, feel less so people won't label me as a "snowflake".
Sorry for the long bs, just really wanted to get it out.
❤️
Y'know how a lot of these interviews help people, b/c us lurkers get to say "Hey, that sounds familiar... I'd never thought of it like that, but... huh...".
Your comment just did that for me. Thankyou for taking the time to comment xx
@@alexandramaclachlan7597 I'm glad that it was helpful to you :) this community is definitely one to stay for, I learn a lot of new perceptions from all of the interviews, it helps me to think better and changes how I think. Couldn't be more grateful :D
I was often labelled "manuplative" and "trying to win an argument through tears" since I am a girl whenever I cry (lol, I was ten the first time and fifteen the second time). I tend to not talk with them for a long period of time, essentially "muting" myself and again "turning emotionless, as emotions always hurt me". Thank you for the story, I relate way too much on "Oh dude you made a mistake, your parents are gonna beat you up and you're gonna cry" I have breakdowns before the actual punishment because of this. I come from a financially middle class home, so we didn't had any room for me so I used to lock myself in the bathroom and cry so that I wouldn't have tears left when they finanly get to me lol. I am still a teenager, but I hope someday I too will be a strong person like you to confront my family
I can only assume you're a guy because of the snowflake label and it's a society thing in which the guys can't cry or they be called weak. But anyways I have the same issue of just getting emotionally overwhelmed in which whenever I want to talk about something important and something personal but get dismissed whether its anger or hurt I just start to cry and can no longer speak coherently. When this happens I would often times wish I were stronger and void of emotions so I wouldnt feel anything, pain hurt loathing shame anger. Idk how to fix just that to learn and practice controlling my emotions
This guy is incredibly smart. I'm saddened to hear about his past but he has persevered through and managed to gain a huge amount of wisdom and self reflection. Against all odds, we will make it.
WOW WOW WOW
this guy is very very bright. he will go far only 23? I wish I had started working on myself at 23!
How is he working on himself? By watching youtube videos all day and seeing a shrink with his mom's money?
@@ApoRekt damn bro what a condescending statement to make of someone
no reason to judge somebody’s progress - deciding that you want and deserve to work on yourself is often the hardest step one takes
@@ApoRektthat’s your takeaway from this video? What the hell man
This is often overlooked, but "energy" can only be aroused if there is a reason/cause for it. Sure, if you are exhausted, rest replenished energy, but otherwise you need to _do things first_ and energy comes with it
i think extroverts have more energy than introverts, for the mere fact of being born extroverts
True, energy begets more energy. So by doing exhausting things you're actually increasing your overall capacity to have more energy.
@@wissen9000 I believe introverts can have tons of energy. But it mostly comes from being alone or with very small groups of trusted people. Because extroverts get energy from being with people, you see the extrovert energy more often. Whereas introvert energy is more private and less visible.
@Cristian Araujo yeaaaa it definitely has to do with genes dude
So I need do something first so that I can become motivated, which means I am motivated by the prospect of getting motivation. Talk about a chicken and egg situation…
Dr K talking about multiple diagnoses because of trauma reminds me of one of the core themes of Kurt Vonnegut's book "Sirens of Titan":
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all". This interview reminded me of the quote because I think the quote is an accepting and honest way of viewing the world/others after experiencing a traumatic event (or series of events). It encapsulates both the acceptance that you were the victim (which is essential to healing from a traumatic event ) and also observes the fundamental nature of our lives in that they are accidental/contingent. Things didn't have to turn out this way, they just happened to. And somehow I think that also makes it easier to digest the trauma, because you can say to yourself "I wasn't destined for this" and therefore you can overcome it! Long story short read Vonnegut, friends. I recommend starting with Breakfast of Champions or Cats Cradle first as they are two of my favourites.
I might be a little late to the algorithm but this interview was touching and Vonnegut is one of my favorite writers. Thanks for the reminder to reread books I've read before internet stranger.
Edit: This is an asshole
This video made me cry so bad. I share so many of Gabriel’s feelings and situations. I too rationalize too much and just feel numb sometimes regarding my parents behavior
I have been to a 1,000$ self help class and this free RUclips video is more powerful, a lot of invaluable content here. Thank you for having the courage to do this session Gabriel. Countless people can relate and will find help because of your honesty. And Thank You Dr. K for using your genius to help so many people for free, your positive impact on the world is immense. It’s extremely hard to find content on RUclips of this quality, I’m so thankful I stumbled on this account a few months ago.
I absolutely loved the How Trauma Works part!! SUPER HELPFUL
56:20 "I don't feel like heaping on you the abuse that it takes to get you to feel... I understand that you're hungry for it, I just don't think it's going to be good for you." - there's so much in there. Maybe this explains why traumatized people enter abusive relationships as adults, thereby retraumatizing themselves. We're so used to saying "everything is ok" and being completely numb to our needs and emotions, that we need someone who would push us way past the point of cruelty and violate our boundaries in order for us to feel our own rage and self-loathing. Either in order to try and feel our own feelings, or to try to do something about them.
not me getting heavily ghosted by the guy I was supposedly dating and still saying "haha, it's okay he must have been busy and wouldn't have time for me, he is such a nice person he should have someone better than me" because my parents really fucked me over with physical and emotional abuse.
As the only mental "survivor" of my extremely toxic and abusive family, I feel this. A couple of weeks ago, was the first time I got truly angry. Snapped while driving, pulled over and just screamed like some heavy metal artist for half an hour. I had been avoiding the catharsis for *years* only now can I say that I'm happy I went through that with myself instead of allowing yet another abusive person who resembled my family do it for me. One is a period of growth; another is a police report.
I can see your logic in this but I am 47 and after years and years of abusive relationships it never helped me but eventually got me to a place of shutting down most of my emotions around age 42. Feeling the emotions doesn’t help if you don’t know how to change the beliefs about yourself and experience them in a therapeutic way. Now I’m trying to heal so I can feel again. More abuse never healed anyone. And I don’t think that’s why we do it. We get in these relationships because we don’t feel worthy of anything better.
This guy is an amazing communicator, I could listen to him all day.
1:00:00 The emotional knife edge that Dr. K walks along when pushing and prodding at Gabriel is impressive with the care taken in the delivery before the rug pull.
Hope you're doing better Gabriel
ah, when he said "I don't feel any emotion, I wanna feel sad, I wanna cry sometimes, and I just can't" that's something I can relate to.
"I could've been stronger, I could've stood up for myself..."
COULD YOU? Really? You were a kid, dammit! How do you imagine you could possibly be stronger than the multiple adults forcing themselves into your life?
It's like that scene from good will hunting, I haven't even seen the full movie and it still makes me wanna cry my ass off thinking about it
Dr k is an absolute legend. He manages to answer all the questions any other therapist can't answer
Me 4:00 in: "I think he has ADHD".
Dr. K 1:15:28 in: "Someone will definitely diagnose you with ADHD".
-hahaha
51:35 I relate to ya boi's statement 100%.
This must be exactly why people do sadomasochism. The pain brings relief
1:13:19😱
I was on the verge of tears through this whole thing. Thanks very much for being open and vulnerable.
The thing about not rationalizing what everyone has done to you and just feeling it was really eye opening to me. I've felt connected to Garbriel through the whole video but right there it's like Dr K was talking to me. What I gathered from that is: if you want to start feeling again, start with the things you avoid feeling because it's more confortable to keep those people in your life.
Honestly, even if I got it all wrong, it's amazing how good this guy is at his job.
I think he has a great sense of humor that has helped him remain positive despite the hardships he endured. Hope for the best!
There have been so many amazing viewer interviews that I've watched recently but this was my favourite and the most accurate to the current stage in my own journey. Thank you so much Gabriel.
Parent(s): "Why can't you be like them [other children]?"
I hate when (bad) parents complain about how their children are different from others when they should have done a better job themselves.
"Why aren't you like other children?" Why aren't you like other parents? It's almost never a child's fault for becoming who they are - the parents have all the responsibility to raise, take care of and nurture their children to become strong, healthy and responsible adults. Stop blaming your children when it was your job to take care of them in the first place. "Why aren't you this, why aren't you that, why aren't you successful like X" Please stop with the nonsense.
There exists so many bad parents today...
“Bad” parents are just adults living out their own childhood trauma unhealed. We live in a day and age where mental healing is way more available yet millions of traumatized people who have been purposefully trying for years to stop the cycle still can’t heal.
my boy alok had to really go through some meta shit in there I fucking loved it!
Valeu Gabriel! Muito obrigado por participar, mano. Fui muito importante pra mim.
It is so cool to see a brazilian speaking with Dr. K, right?
For those they came because of the title the last segment is what you are looking for
1- lately i stopped calling it depression and simply call it unhappiness.
2- the question about how to solve the problem of lack of motivation is never answered.
3- where is the line between accepting responsability for your actions/life and blaming yourself? if you are resposible but fail again and again how can you not call it blame?
4- there are things you are not resposible for. others are to blame. the world is full of problems. how do you deal with the inability to address the wrondoings of other people?
5- what are your thoughts on the possibility of your brain not being able to "feel" positive emotions, being it happyness or enthusiam?
Thank you for this interview I found it very interesting. The part about taking time with yourself, not overstretching your capacity to feel right now, despite desperately wanting to go all the way, is so important, be gentle with yourself in these processes. Well done Gabriel for taking on this challenge of a deeper connection with himself, I wish him all the best
This is the example of those of us who believe we’re “not enough.”
The laughing Buddha who awakens to his original love, light & power.
If we believe we are valuable we can be & if not, no matter how true it is, we can’t embrace it.
There truly is hope for all of humanity if we can simply find our own light & stop looking for it in others.
I relate to this conversation so much I had to stop listening multiple times for fear of breaking down in tears at work.
I see myself in this man, the barrier between mind and heart. This is very eye opening! I felt something too. I never understand what some people mean when they say they are fundamentally broken because I take things very literally so it's like, how can you be broken if you're sitting there and you can form sentences and whatnot, but I do feel fundamentally ineffectual, that's how I like to word it so my mind can more readily understand.
The lack of motivation sucks! It's so frustrating. It's like you want to do stuff but even your best isn't good enough because you're you and you're never going to be good enough. And you can tell yourself that you're great until you're blue in the face but it still won't make a difference because it's just more denial of your repressed feelings, and other people can tell you that they love you to the moon and back but it just feels like a lie.
I get this dude. I've struggled with depersonlization and derealization a lot. It's like being shut out access to your own self. I know my mind is sneaky. It's tripping me up and I'm its owner!
Wow terribly relatable. Had a nanny when i was 5 who used to force eat me and yell at me that if i spit out or throw up she would make me eat it back ... Pretty hard to trust anyone after this ...
man I really relate to this "numbness", knowing what you want but struggling so much to do them anyway. feeling dulled, out of phase with the world and my senses - I've never really heard someone else describe this part of how I feel the same way before
this really makes me want to talk to Dr K, also because I've never found a therapist that I could relate to. they're just from very different walks and intellectualise everything, which I can already do myself and it's just not helping - I really appreciate how Dr K is just emotionally open and really goes into things WITH people, I think I would really benefit from that
Incredibly thankful for these viewer interviews 🤜🤛
Ah man I put off watching this interview because the title told me that this was going to hit very close to my current struggles. Glad I managed to come around to watching it, I learned the stunningly simple fact- obviously if you're chasing after a better version of yourself you can't exist as that person! Duh geez how could I forget something so logical and simple. Now just to work on what "being" feels like.
Well put!
41:03 "How does it feel to have me blame your mom?" It probably feels reassuring Dr. K.
I know when my therapist blames my dad for not protecting me from my mom's abuse, I feel a mix of things. I feel protective of my dad and love for him and sympathy for him as a victim but I also feel... not loved by my therapist exactly, but kinda. I feel like it's validating a deep down part of me that felt let down by everyone, a part of me i don't dare let myself feel. I feel reassured indeed.
Honestly one of the most relatable and helpful interview i watched so far. I had a really bad rng spawn and people around me were shitty and generally made me feel miserable. Even tho i should've blamed all of those people for what they did to me i was just blaming it on myself saying stuff like "I should be stronger, i can't let other people opinions bother me". So what i did is that i bottled up all of these emotions and basically had really bad thoughts coming from them, but after watching this interview and letting them all slowly out i felt better. So thank you dr K for what you're doing, i really appreciate it.
5:56 Damn Dr. K even for you that was fast o_O he made that connection so fast wtf ahah. Dr. K is a chad ass therapist!
Man, this guy is cool as hell. I like him alot
gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I literally cried during this conversation on how similar was his experience to mine(just not the abuse part, it was more psychological abuse than physical). In school you have no one, at home you have no one. Even the betrayal part, I was betrayed multiple times growing up by best "friend". The games and anime was my only escape and that was all I ever did. I'm rooting for him!!
41:34
Yeah, I've been waiting for someone to say "no" tbh.
This actually hit me hard. Pretty much exactly what I needed to hear.
This one is for me, can't tell if it's because I'm depressed, cause I stopped smoking weed, cause I replaced my daily redbull plus monster energy with a few cups of coffee or what
Keep off the weed, eliminate your caffeine intake. Won’t solve your problems by a long shot, but it’ll defuck your situation a little. Source: I did the same shit for the longest time.
@@jesaunhoward8514 So I also struggle with severe marijuana consumption, but (and I know this sounds just like I'm lazy or a lowlife) but I really really really don't want to quit marijuana. Mainly because at times it feels like it is the last thing I have to look forward to in life. It may be the only thing i genuinely enjoy in this life anymore and the thought of giving it up for a chance at happiness elsewhere seems to me like a horrifying gamble and ive never been a gambling man.
@@TheFutureElement i feel so about smoking..
@@TheFutureElement it sounds like rather than worrying about quitting anything, you should start something new, so that you can build new things to look forward to. Start a new hobby. If nothing jumps out at you, just pick something and work at it for 1 month. Idc what it is. Find a pen nearby and start drawing. Get a guitar or whatever instrument you can get your hands on. Start doing pushups at home and learning how to eat more healthy. Just pick something and do it without expectations for a while.
@@TheFutureElement taking breaks is always good if you’re a heavy user, otherwise the golden rule always weighs true; everything in moderation
Why can't we just clone Dr. K a few hundred million times so that everybody gets their own Dr. K? Then we all could live our best lifes. He is so good at perceiving, analyzing, explaining, choosing a way of helping because his toolbox of possible ways to treat or help is so vast.
That this exists online for free is incredible. I'm not a gamer but this type of content could help in some way pretty much everyone I know.
So happy for Gabriel, BTW. Beautiful.
I’m not a gamer and stumbled across this channel p. Dr K is brilliant I would love to see him!
Dr. K, I love you man. Same for the people brave enough to come on and be vulnerable enough to open up. Thank you for these gems. They've helped me so much!
Jesus, this turned into a horror movie at the 59 minutes mark. I've got to pause this and take a lap.
Vayne is literally my identity right now and I can relate to him sharing that dota was apart of his identity. I wish I could end the fight between Obsession Vs Passion regarding my love for this champion.
as a vayne main, i agree with you
Dude get help.
It's really helpful to hear you interview people who have been watching the streams for a while and are ready for step two. It lets you do step 2 as AoE.
I love the AoE Step 2 ones so much. This guy reminds me so much of myself after so much healing work I've done in the past year.
I really feel that dota queue up anxiety. I've been playing dota for 6 years and I still can't stand to queue alone. The anxiety is just too much.
1:12:08 "We triggered that.. I'm broken.exe" hahaha, that's why I love Dr. K
I needed this interview
This makes me question whether I was hit as a child and I don't know about it
you don't have to have been hit to have trauma and abuse can happen without hitting, emotional neglegt and stuff can traumatise people too
I found this one particularly fascinating for some reason, I even found myself taking some notes on certain phrases that were said because they seemed really helpful. The "trauma is the great chameleon of mental health" by itself is such an interesting quote and also I think educational, now I feel I should of been taking notes the entire time I've been watching HealthyGamer and Dr K's stuff.
Keep it up Doctor K, I feel like you're helping to educate so many different people.
22:02 TRUE
Watching the evolution of someone can be the evidence many need to gather energy to do it too.
This is an absolutely wonderful discussion i am so glad this exists online. I really really value this. I wish i could speak to dr.k but I'll do my best to speak to a therapist as soon as I'm a bit more stable.
Rated R for Relate.
This should be taught at schools, why do we only learn this when we are grown-ups and the damage is already done?
Holy shit this is awesome, your work is very much needed and appreciated, thank you.
Woo !! Never clicked so fast, been craving more new Dr. K interviews
cringe
@@tyronedeckwad4051 Guess I'll die then
@Cristian Araujo where did what come from?
Thank you Dr K, I only recently found this channel, my first video of yours was the tectone video since I play genshin impact as well, but you've already helped open my eyes to a lot of things about myself that i've struggled with for the longest time. Your explanation about how trauma relates lack of motivation in this video was especially eye opening.
Out of all intervierws this one really hits home, very similar symptoms to mine
What a brave ride of both through all this trauma. Thank you for sharing this experience.
I feel like I chase a very similar dragon. Hopefully I can also get past feeling of needing the good doctor's assistance. Or maybe find the strength to reach out. Powerful interview.
Grand Chase MMO, this guy an OG.
I relate to this so much. I remember one time I felt like I was here, and then something fucked up happened, and since then it is like I am a tourist in my own life, just going through it all, like an entity in this body but not really a part of it. It's hard to explain
This session is brilliant
The 5D chess in this one was amazing. Blew my mind
I feel this so hard, half a year ago i said to my parents, i felt like my problem were like a hydra, each head/problem i work on just spawn more. Then what also seems to fit is being taught inn elementary school that there is something fundamentally wrong with me as i did have friends (a lot backstabbed me), but it was and still is always just parts that get statisfied, I find the part of me that fits with other even nowadays. And i do feel broken aswell, there seems no end to this road im on yet this is the only thing i keep on doing for long periods of time. Almost anything else i stop doing that doesnt benifit me immediatly or has a clear goal.
We are learning, Dr. K! Thank you! Edit: Also Dr. K is terrifying...I would like to learn this power and have it used on me lol
Dr. K you're a beautiful soul, thank you for this.
It's uncanny how similar I am to him. It's funny how I keep clicking on videos that directly relate to my current thoughts
Dr K is like "I'm about to end this man's whole cognitive equilibrium"
0:06 "Any time i try to blame her, you're gonna say like, 'i should have been stronger', like you're gonna protect her by blaming yourself."
Thanks doc, it was nice background for my walking
Just in the first 4 mins Gab summed up how I interact with my worldview when it came with physical matters. My senses feel dulled do the extent I thought something wrong with my hearing. I just couldn't hear ppl when they spoke I heard them but words didn't come out, just noises as if my brain just didn't translate the slight inconsistencies with how different people speak into words I understand. So slight tone and cadence changes with words were enough for me to not understand an entire sentence.
This was a great video, as always from Dr. K.
I want to ask, though: why might someone lack motivation if they have no history of trauma? I assume there are many possible causes, but lacking trauma of my own to explore, I'm not sure how to identify the root cause of my own preference for inaction.
He said that if you don't have faith in yourself, if you believe whatever you can do will amount to nothing, then you won't even try to do it. I assume that aside of trauma, if you feel this way, then you may have some other experience that caused you to think like that. I had the exact question with you a moment ago, that's what I came up with. Hope we both get better ':)
1:23:00 WOW The tree analogy really got me
"it's your effort to try to get to him that creates the sense of incapability" as long as you're trying to get to him you're not him and what makes you not him is not being him
Why are 75% of the men in this person's life an abusive socio/psychopath? His dad, step dad, uncles, kids from school, friends that exposed/exploited him. Is this type of personality trait more common in certain areas? I've honestly never come in contact with anyone who behaves like this growing up in my 60k population town in Northern Ontario.
Most people don't like psychopaths when they discover their psychopathy and will then get away from them if possible so I guess that other psychopaths don't care if you are psychopathic and thus stick around. I haven't watched the video so I don't have any context.
School age children often lack empathy and will pick on whoever seems weakest unless the adults around them create a culture to prevent it. The way he was treated at school doesn't surprise me. Maybe you got lucky with the culture at your school and if you did I'm happy for you.
For the adults in his life, the common factor is the men his mum chooses to date, and their relatives. Some people have a pattern of ending up in abusive relationships. It sounds like his mum had difficulty standing up for herself and getting the step farther to leave, abusive people will try to select partners like that because abusing them is easier. Maybe the relatives of the abusive men were similarly bad people because of something genetic or in the culture of the family.
@@SomeoneBeginingWithI Okay.. Phewf this makes sense. While I'm still sad and hurt to think he's gone through this (I'm a big softy) it's a bit of relief to hear that it's probably not happening to most of the kids / people in his area. I was imagining this just being the norm since it was so common in his reality, but you've explained a much more probably and promising situation.
I do think some areas (especially where finance is a big issue or maybe too much empasis is being put on financial gains?) can magnify this behaviour because then the family start to look at the children not as living human beings but as little creatures that do nothing and yet take a huge chunck of resources. The reason his father must have hit him was because of his bad morals and homophobia and just because he had a lot of hatred in him, his father probably saw him as a tool to relieve his frustration as a punching bag of sorts. This also stems from societal value. I am so happy that where you grow up, you didn't had hitting kids is the norm (unfortuanately for me, where I live this still goes on), the homophobia also stems from environment (which led to his father trying to enforce such values)
Agreed it was the mom getting those people near him. But it's clear the mom was a victim too and it's hard being self aware of what attracts these bad people and pushing them out of your life is hard as it's clear they wouldnt leave her alone. I can sympathize with both him and his mother, his mother could have been brave and worked on herself but I understand it's very hard and also hving a child to also think about on top of working on oneself
1:29:41 Advaita Vedanta
Wow never I have a related to a view in a minute. I also have a healthy gamer coach and I realized that I had the same problem as Gabriel has; giving the package, but not the raw data.
This puts a weird state of mind where you logically know what's right, but dismiss the problem and feelings exactly. Those who are seeking better mental health don't seek the answer so fast, it's okay to sit with your feelings and speak about bothering you:)
Just wanted yall to know this is what I've gotten to realized pls don't take this as fact. The mind is complicated.
1:32:31
"hopefully one day you will realize... who the fuck is doing the swimming!?"
I think I just had my moment of enlightenment. Because I just burst out laughing
NGL, why the HELL would you WANT to be a part of this world? Seriously, sell me on it.
real question here.
I have a similar story, one tip I can give gabriel is to not confront his mom, It won't amount to anything.
Feeling the exact same way man, ever since I started the antidepressants. It’s better then the anxiety but I feel anhedonia.
I relate with this guy a lot. This was a great session!
I have no motivation for going ahead in my life , I am struggling to cope up with my studies before this I was good in studies but now a days I don't feel like studying
If anybody have had this and you have come out of it
Please help me with this
I generally don't open up but this time I just wanted to
Please help
- My screen is broken
- It seems to work fine
- of course not
- what makes you think it doesn't work ?
- because it's broken
not to be like that but his mother seems like the root to everything that happened to him. She wasnt there and she invited bad people. i mean if i put you in a pit of snakes is it my fault that you are getting hurt or is it the snakes? He shouldnt hold it against her after the fact but it's a cautionary tale for others to not do the same if you care about your children. Edit: nvm they went through that 40 min later
That's true but in her defense the mother was single. It is very hard to leave a child in safe area when you have to work because yours and your child s life depends on it or knowing the people aren't good but theyre the only people wholl wtch over the child.