I FEEL LIKE I'M WASTING MY LIFE : 30 years with nothing to show for it.
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Do you often get the feeling that you should have accomplished something by a certain age? That if you don't have a Nobel peace prize or a trilogy published with Penguin, then you're useless?
I used to. Or rather, I realize that I don't have to feel that way, and there's a way you can too.
The pursuit of happiness in 2020 seems to dictate that if you're thirty years old and unmarried, or thirty and single, or you're restarting your life at 30, then you've failed. That to feel lost and confused is normal.
What if it wasn't?
In this video, I share my journey with disappointing the people I cared about, feeling like birthdays are everything ( then nothing), and coming to my own definition of "I'm an adult now."
I don't think there's an age where you suddenly become an adult. It's a process of events. Actions. These actions start with thoughts. Often our thoughts can guide even how we feel - about everything, including feeling lost and confused.
What have I accomplished today? What have I accomplished this year? Or since I was born? Those are legitimate questions. The fact that you're asking them means you want more out of this life.
You want to live - not just pass through.
I hope you find the ideas in this video useful as you plow your way through it. Sometimes, all we need is perspective.
Thank you for watching.
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Q: How do you handle the moments when you feel like you're not where you think thou should be?
Pray and plan. Introspection. Why do I want to get there and what do I need to do to get there.
Amazing perspective, Mo. I'll work on these. 😊
Indeed we struggle with purposelessness in life because without God life is purposeless. I understand how you feel, I also faltered all my way through my education, leading to deep despair and depression. That is normal for a life lived without the grace of God. But there is a hope which is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The gospel is this, that Christ died to be a sacrifice for sin, so that whoever puts their faith in Him stands forgiven of their sin before God.
And what is sin? Sin is evil as exposed by the commandments of God: lying, stealing, adultery in your body or in your mind, coveting things or people that belong to others, taking God's name in vain, dishonouring parents, we all know our own guilt. Our unhappiness in this world is the absence of God in our lives.
God has appointed a day to judge the world, and now He calls all to repent and so be saved, not merely from purposelessness but from His wrath against our sin. This is the great gift of the gospel, don't come to God merely to have purpose, but to be healed of evil and saved from this cursed world and judgement. Those who put their faith in Jesus will have life, more than just purpose, Christ died to bring those washed in His blood to God, to be received as children of God, the free gift of the gospel.
Repent and believe! Please read this to get more detail.
www.desiringgod.org/books/for-your-joy
And get a bible and start reading! God bless!
What if you lose faith, lose direction and lose passion.
Have I failed god
I will listen to music and think what plans can I do to quickly get back on track.
I'm the same shoes as y'all, 30 , broke, living with parents. Heres my advice. Write down Goals for tomorrow not for next week or month or year but just tomorrow. For example, Exercise, read, Sleep on time and wake up early, Cold shower, dont eat junk food and make some money. Keep it simple. Write down what your grateful for as well.
Thank you man.
That’s not doing anything. You have got to learn a skill that makes money.
@@curiosityshop2297 or if you are clever, find a way to make money without having many skills
@@curiosityshop2297 why ? Do you think money will make you happy?
@@kylescott169 why do you think it won’t.
You're right on schedule if you follow the trajectory of my life. I went back to school at age 35, finished a masters degree at 41, and I worked 24 years building a career, fixing up a home and raising kids. Then at 65 I retired, sold everything, and left to live my retired life in a new country. i've never been happier.
Don’t forget about your Heroic beard sir!
🙏🙏
Did you get married? Had kids?
so brave ♡
Sounds like a success to me. Shout out to u for being brave enough to go for it at 35. Most people lose their will and settle by that age.
Bro, I'm almost 50 and I literally feel what you're describing. You hit the nail on the head. Thanks for being brave enough to share your story, man. Life is a serious puzzle. Take care!
I appreciate that, Reg. I'm sure you have a lot of wisdom for me. Let me know if you'd be open to a conversation. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.
Hi. Im 26 years old (27 in about 30days) i still live at home with my mom ego is an inconsiderate and loves very conditionally. never been out on my own. Jobless due to Covid. Over 10,000 in debt. Never went to college. Never owned anything fully in my own name.... Please, if anyone isn't going anywhere in life... Hi.
I've read your comment a few times. Don't know how to respond because I have no idea how hard things must have been for you. Also, because I realize that motivation and rah-rah positive messages don't make sense sometimes. Yet, I'm grateful you're still out there doing the work and going strong. I'm rooting for you. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment and I pray your hard work pays off. I turn 31 next month and I still feel like I haven't started - in a good way 😁 A LOT can happen in a year. Sending you good vibes!
Im in the same place as you. I don't know what to do either
@@cry8049 Feels good to know I'm not the only one. And i know things tend to fall as they should so i have faith being patient and attentive. In the mean time, might as well make the best of it.
This is the first time I've felt this kind of space and opportunity to create and im noticing so much about my priorities, values and perspectives. The integrity behind my choices. I think that's the embarrassing yet most clarifying part. Because it took all of this for me to realize how to get a grip and roll with the punches.
Thank you for sharing your story 🌷
Turned 30, 5 days ago. This is exactly what I needed. Everyone thought my life is awesome but I kept feeling I was a failure. thanks Kamga. You have no idea what you have done. Bless you brother
I am honored, Grabo. Thank you. I make these videos sometimes because I wish someone had held me up during those tough times to remind me of what really matters. Sometimes, I forget and then come back to watch them. (Is that odd? 🤔)
I'm so happy to hear this resonated with you and super pumped to keep creating for people like us. Thank you!
GOD BLESS YOU' WHAT EVER GOD YOU SERVE & 'OR' BELIEVE IN....YOUR SOMETHING ! THE DEVIL TAKED TO "JESUS" KNOW HES TALKING TO ANYONE WHO LISTENS ! YOUR WORTH EVERYTHING & ANYTHING IT APPEARS OTHERS HAVE YOU TOO CAN HAVE. LISTEN THE DEVIL HATES US ALL!!!
NO EXCEPTIONS PERIOD. SEPERATE FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE THEY NEED TO THRIVE AROUND IGNORANCE. DAYS TURN INTO WEEKS ~ WEEKS INTO MONTH....YEARS...THEN A DECADE HAS PASSED YOU'LL FEEL LIKE ITS TO LATE TO BUILD ANYTHING ..BUT ITS NEVER TO LATE. 🙏'ING WITH & FOR YOU. HOLD YOUR HEAD UP !
Turning 29 in about a month. I no longer believe any of my own excuses and stories. I fucked up, and I keep fucking up. There's a good reason I'm down and feel worthless, it's because I am. It will only become worse with the years, and this is not a good life by any means. If I had a normal family and someone to push me to develop skills through the years things would be different... But if's and but's don't hold water in this world, nobody cares at all. We gotta get a grio on life bro. Hell is a real place, and I feel like I'm heading there FAST. I have every reason to just give up life has been cruel to me, but I will not. I will carry the weight proudly and tell my future kids they can do anything, if only they will not give up. Never give up no matter what. Fight for your life. Fight for meaning. Die with no regrets. That is what a good life is. No more running with pretty words.
This is so powerful man!! I feel the chills. I've read this over and over again and I can't help but root for you. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Wishing you success, happiness, and joy! 🥂
I appreciate it, that's very kind of you. Shakespeare wrote: "Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once." I will be valiant, and rise from this abyss like the Phoenix. Wishing you the same, brother !
Thank you so much!
I’m in high school and I basically just got told I should definitely aim to be better than my sibling and get into Harvard or some top school. I thought of studying philosophy or history in Europe but I was told Europe is weak and slow and not good. They’ve done a lot for me and I want to appreciate it but I don’t want to lose my identity. I don’t even want to be a big boss with a mansion. I like Europe because everyone is very genuine and live simple loves. I lied on my bed the whole day and I just wasted another day thinking about it... Idk what to do :(
Stanley, if you can send me an email, I would love to talk with you and get a better understanding of what you are going through and how to help. Can you do that?
I can relate to this. 25 here and second year through college. I feel like I wasted 7 years after high school trying to figure out what I wanted to do instead of just doing something. Especially once you leave high school, you lose much of your social circle as well so it’s hard making new friends. Most people I knew had lots of friends during that time since they were in school right away.
I'm in the same situation but we got this.
I’m also 25. I was a worship director in church for years after highschool. Now, I don’t believe it.
I went to be a caregiver and cna, but I got burnt out. I went to school to try and be a nurse, but I had such a hard time with how much I had to work along with school.
Now, I just drive for door dash, and I actually like doing it, but I feel like a loser. I’m trying to play more music around town, but that just makes me feel like a loser too.
I’m not depressed. I just need something,
I'm 29 I just graduated from community college in accounting. I got my driving licence as well. I feel so behind
Same situation I'm 23 and at 17 I gave the law exam but didn't do so well and got stuck in a mediocre law school. Felt like I was drifting in my life
dang. im in the exact opposite situation. 22 and been in college for 4 years but switched my major so many times cause i have no idea what i want to do. at least you werent going into debt during that time man
37 here and still feeling this way. 12 years in a career that went nowhere. In a new career that’s not looking like it’s going to take me where I want to be... The only thing that I rely on to keep me pushing is the Lord Jesus Christ. This sense of failure and lack of real accomplishments that are life changing is the absolute worst feeling out of any other way experience. My biggest fear has always been amounting to nothing and having no legacy of being successful. *deep breath* But you just have to keep pushing, be open minded, and look for opportunities.
Dude, I love your positive outlook. What I've chosen to do so far is put my heart in anything I choose and then enjoy the outcome, whatever that may be. I tend to suffer more when I expect things to turn out well, and they don't. Now, I just feel that God made this earth for us, and EVERYTHING is for our good.
We will eventually die and leave this place, so, in the meantime, I will just do my best and learn all I can! I know I can never see the whole world or learn everything, but everything I see or learn, I choose to cherish.
Keep the faith ! I wish you the best in your journey. And thanks for stopping-by! I appreciate it.
Dude, I am the same age as you and I have come to the same conclusion. Establishing a strong and true relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the one thing you can always count on, no matter what. Through Him I am able to keep pushing.
I relate and am also a believer, though not a very strong one atm
@@Godlywoman88 Get back and get right with God. No time to waste backsliding or being luke warm brother. God is waiting for you with open arms. Pray and open your Bible. He wants to spend time with you.
I'm turning 28 this year. I hate everything about the life I've been building. I was an excellent student, everyone thinks that I was going to be a successful man, but here I am. Depression hits me, my ex gf treat me like garbage, dropped out university, I'm in bad shape and working on a minimum wage job.
I'm constantly thinking of killing myself but something inside me tells me that maybe I could get back my life.
I don't know man, maybe if I work my ass really really hard the Lord can bless me.
Just find out something you want to do and go at it with everything. The fact that u ve already wasted alot of time should be a great motivator not the opposite. You will have a sense of urgency that is primordial for success. You still have alot to give dude...
Go back to school. Get a degree and have a better job. You're not a loser. You just realised that your life sucks. So? Everyone's life sucks.
How are you doing now? Hope you’re okay.
Sending you love stay strong. In the hardest times come the best opportunities. See John Morrow’s story
@@Richbeatz70 That is Actually What is Hard to Do at this Age. Its Very Hard to Find Something You Want to Do Because You find it Hard to Enjoy Things You previously enjoyed.
I totally relate with this video. I constantly feel lost, left behind especially when I compare myself with my peers. I don't what I'm doing wrong but this is not where I thought I would be. It really sucks but I teach myself to be grateful at least for life. Hopefully everything will fall in place...I don't know🤷♀️
Only God knows 😊 And we can only focus on what we can do while being grateful for everything we have. It's a struggle, I think. But one that's totally worth it. Glad to see you here, Rash 🤗
As someone who has fought depression and suicidal ideation my whole life, always seeing where I was falling short was the norm for me. The past 12 months I have really changed my views on myself and life. I’m living for my wants and to improve myself and helping others, not living to try and meet the expectations of others. This video resonated with me on a deep level.
I understand your pov and you’re absolutely right. I’ve learned to be grateful in the “good times” and the “bad times”. Those dark moments in the cold, lonely and shame ridden places are the best to be grateful because you’re there with your darkness and you’re alive after ALL the struggles and you have breath in your lungs, another chance to try and another chance to keep going.
@@beniciorina7939 Your post 👆 resonated with me. I hate, hate, hate when people try to give you advice by cutting and pasting some overused, insincere, unoriginal phrases think it will help. But...
I did hear one I like: "Remember. Every struggle you've ever encountered, you have survived."
@@MeganVictoriaKearns yes I am so glad it resonated with you 🙏🏽💯 everyday I keep going, even when I’m like ion know I’m tiiide 😂 I keep going because that little inner voice in me and I’m so many people says “you got this girl” or “you got this man” keep going for your goals, dreams, desires etc but most definitely your inner strength and courage that will allow you to have soooo much more blessings. Take care always Megan I don’t know you (obviously) but I feel compelled to say to say you’re already doing great as it is ❤️
Turning 30 tomorrow. From being the best high school student and a first class university graduate to virtually lost now.
But i know the glory of my latter house will be greater than my former
Once there's life, there's hope! Happy birthday my friend. I turn 31 on Monday and I feel like I'm just getting started. I wish you the best on this journey of life!
Alberto
That's a lot like my life's story .
People who once use to find me cool ,
Now welcome with a rain of sarcasm.
I always admire people like you who can stand in front of a camera and talk about their vulnerabilities. I hope i can get there one day. Much Respect
I believe you will, if that is what you want. It’s been many years of conscious and unconscious practice, failures and successes. But the joy that comes from connecting to another heart tends to make the fear seem smaller each time 😊
I’m 26 yet I’m always feeling this failure. Each time I have an up there’s a down not to far. I need help is all I can say. I just want to enjoy myself
Paris, I can't even begin to imagine. We may have similar stories but our experiences are definitely unique. I can't compare my pain to yours and vice-versa.
What I've come to understand (or at least, I'm trying to accept), is that the ups and downs work together.
We should be grateful when we get the ups because we know how the downs feel like.
And we should be appreciative of the lessons when we get the downs because of what the ups feel like.
To take a "boring" example, I don't enjoy cooking. But I love good food. So, whenever I have to cook, I have to hack my brain to think of why I'm doing this and what I'll get out of it.
It helps me plan, make my list, get to the store, drive (which I'd rather not 😅), cook, then WAIT for my food.
I don't enjoy it. But I know it's for someone I love : me.
When I'm eating, I cherish every bite - even when it tastes terrible 😅
I think that's how life is : we enjoy it by being fully present both up and down. If you need to cry, do it. If you need to laugh, go for it.
We're humans, with a full range of emotions. It's easy to feel like nothing is working when we don't look at what is working.
There's always something working. Even if that's your lungs, arms, eyes, legs, etc.
I'm not saying that what you're going through is easy. On the contrary. It's because it's hard that you have to look even harder for the good things around you.
I'll make a video soon about being stuck and the next steps to take. I feel it's a video I wish I had when I was in my twenties.
Hell, I wish I had it now that I'm about to turn 31 and still figuring things out.
I wish you the best, Paris ! And let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
My mom died last year in August and I turned 30 last February. She and I were so close that we depended on each other for emotional support and feeling safe. She was the director of my life so I got stuck in the teenager faze of life and not really growing up. When my mom died, I lost part of myself. I didn't have anyone telling me the direction to go in or planning family gatherings or just being the person I could 100% trust and depend on. This year has been a year full of regret for not figuring out what I enjoy or find hobbies. I wasted a lot of time numbing myself with video games or being on my phone all the time instead of being present and engaged with the ones I love. And I am lucky because I do have what I have and I have the people in my life who care. Everyone struggles with something, some harder than others but don't down play your own struggles. Acknowledge them, validate them and breathe. How do you get to the top? 1 setpnat a time.
God bless you. How are you doing now?
❤
I'm 41 years old and have no accomplishments, I have let my parents control my whole life, no job, no positive friends 😞 I have no confidence, no self esteem, no self worth and no self love. I feel so far behind in this life of mine 😭😭😭😭
Get into IT brother, it's never to late if you still have breath in your lungs
Are you married or not??
and why does that matter?@@vincentkennedymcmahon50
I totally relate and feel you. I'm 36 now and haven't reached anything apart from two vocational trainings and three failed attempts at obtaining a college degree. Former classmates currently bought their third real estate, founded a startup or overall kick ass while I can't even afford a car. I'm in desperate need of therapy to finally overcome my childhood trauma but am not able to afford any. But hey...can't blame anyone else but myself. At least I finally laid off alcohol and started working out consistently again. Helps a lot. I wish you all the best!
Hi Streuselsturm, I hope this isn't too forward, but I saw that your post was a month old and wanted to check in as a complete stranger. How is it going? What are you up to?
Your story reflects mine in many ways. I'm 30, I have no specific education or skills, no job, no money, endless aspirations but nothing to show for them, feeling trapped by disabilities, my own mindset and childhood trauma I only now found out about... A whole lot of grief for the past and fear for the future. Am I in a fragile moment of beginning or am I going to disappoint myself again? What am I going to do? Am I strong enough to do it? How can I commit to my goals when I have no money to invest in them? Is what I have to offer, strange and disjointed, valuable at all? Every piece of information seems to be for people who already know what they want. As a therapist told me in the past, I don't even know HOW to want.
I desperately need to be in unaffordable trauma therapy, too. But I think I'm making some headway for myself by learning about the science behind it independently and doing some excercises by myself. I think I'll try and dive into inner child work this year. Luckily there are some great channels on youtube for that, so if you can't afford therapy, homegrown is fine...? At least I'm learning, like you probably, that blame has no use in our lives.
Sorry for the novel, I really just wanted to say I see you, thank you for daring to be vulnerable enough to share a moment of human commonality. That in itself is a massive credit to you.
@@ashkes.266 thank you for sharing
@@ashkes.266 Hey! I just wanted to let you know that there's a RUclips channel here that helps people to identify and deal with childhood trauma. It's called Patrick Teehan LICSW. I hope you will find it useful since you said you have a hard time affording therapy.
@@DaughterOfWater9278 Thank you! I've stumbled across some of his content and found it very useful. There are definitely options out there when traditional therapy isn't available. I'm grateful for therapists who make their knowledge free to access.
@@ashkes.266 good luck to you! I wish you all the best
I'm already 32 and still I don't achieve anything , it's literally sad on my part that others already achieved what they want in a younger age unlike me still nothing until now maybe my life is just a failure after all :(
Q Q, it's tough to be in your shoes and I need to let you know that I appreciate you taking the time to share this with me.
I've had to restart at various times in my life. I restarted college three times because I didn't know what I wanted to do. Then I moved to the US, tried college and dropped out. I even had to quit my job because I was going through a rough patch.
I think the beauty of being at the bottom is that you can only go up from there.
What I often try to do is read stories of people who clearly had worse lives than I did, and they were able to find a way out.
When I got my car accident in May of last year, I realized how important it was for me to focus on what I wanted my life to mean. It's one of those things no one can give you, not your parents, not some RUclipsr on the internet (lol).
I recommend, if you can, to read Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl.
Of you'd like me to send you a copy, please send me an email and I'll be more than happy to talk even more and then see how I can assist even better.
I wish I had someone to let me know it was okay to not know what to do with life and also to realize that because I didn't know, I could pick and choose whatever I wanted.
I look forward hearing from you 😊
@@tchassakamga hey man, 30 here, still a failure (i hope not for long). Aspiring to be a musician, but yet, can’t find a way out. Did my diploma and degree (didn’t complete), worked full time in IT, and now pursuing my quest in mastering the art of drumming.
It’s sad when the path i have chosen is not what my family wants for me. Mom is sad, she thinks i am wasting my life, but, it takes time to practice and make myself good to a certain point.
Thank you for pointing that book out for people like me. I don’t know how and when i will attain my success, but i am trying. I know i have a purpose on this earth, but when will it be revealed to me? How long will i have to keep searching for the meaning of my existence?
I don’t know.
I hope this book, can shed a light into who i am. Thank you for this video too. ✌️🙂
I felt that part about being afraid of living someone else’s life 😔 I’m 24 though but I always feel like I’m running outta time. The world puts a lot of pressure on us when I literally just want to chill and go at my own pace but I feel so rushed it’s hard to explain. I’m just very tired and drained. It’s just refreshing to know that we aren’t alone.
Yesss that’s exactly how I feel, I’m 28 so I’m constantly doing everything I can to get to the next level. It definitely gets tough at times because as u said, u want to go at your own pace & take small steps towards w.e goal
u want to achieve. However that saying “time waits for no one” comes to my head all
The time, then I’m thinking to myself I have to hurry & get moving quickly. Thank god we’re not the only ones that goes through things like this, & I always say God is in complete control 🙌
Jujuexcel Amen God has the final say and one day we will be away from this evil place we should not have to work to our death! 🙏🏾🙏🏾💕
I feel lost most of the Time, I got married a year ago and I even feel more lost 😞..
I just turned 36 and I hardly have anything to show for myself...
I hide from the world every day , I want to get out there but its just so hard , feels like something is hold me back .
I had to over come that Fear of Failure..
Lord help me ..
Thank you for sharing this with me, I can imagine it's not easy to do that.
I don't know your circumstances, but I want to believe it is hard and you can still see that there's an alternative.
I'll urge you to have hope. I read somewhere about how Brene Brown didn't become "famous" until she turned 40.
As I write this, I just published a video on the channel explaining my divorce. It's the longest video I have ever edited and you can see that I'm going through a tough time.
I'm now alone in a country without the person I came here for. It would be easy for me to give up, become the victim and complain all day. I have considered it, to be honest.
But I am choosing to be happy. To focus on what I can do and forge ahead, not in spite of everything, but because of it.
We underestimate what we can do in 5 years and overestimate what we can do in 1 year.
I can only send you good vibes and wish you well because I know you have it in you to find a way to bring joy and turn your life around. You have people you love, and people who love you. Sometimes, that's all we need to move forward. Don't give up. Keep going. You'll look back and be proud of yourself. 😊❤
@@tchassakamga wow ... thank you so much 🙏🏼 for your kind words. This really means a lot to .
I don’t open up on how i feel deep down , cause I don’t want to be judged and most times people Don’t understand. Mostly here in Africa, people will look at you has if you just been lazy and giving excuses 🤷🏽♀️. Without even trying to listening and see how they can help you 🙇🏽♀️.
Thank you again. Do you have a email address I can write to you ?
@@shawnmendrek3544 thank you so much . Made my day .
@croller90 hello dear , I’m taking one step at a time . And putting myself first .
Your fear of failure is what’s makes you fail
Our worth is not in what we achieve academically or professionally, nor is it in our bank account or assets.
In the end, all that matters is how many people you helped, how many smiles you brought, how many words of encouragement you said.
Deep. Thank you for sharing, Joanne.
That's what matters to you and not everyone is you.
@@TheFracturedfuture both of u have a point….
@@TheFracturedfuture yeah for some people the bank account does matter, not because of greed, but because for someone that money could symbolize where they started and now where they are. besides no one keeps a list of all the people they brought joy to, and even if you did how would you know it was genuine or not? either way make your own rules for a well lived life.
I think at some point we all feel this way. I remember hearing a monk say that one of the most important things he ever learnt was " don't believe everything you think" and that really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing your story :)
Great point, Tamz. Than you for sharing!
My birthday is one of the scariest mirror. It's usually a point when I try to reflex if I am where I had hoped to get! But lately I have decided to jot my small accomplishments and just try to enjoy the journey.
That's an awesome perspective. Enjoy the accomplishments, enjoy the journey. Thanks Sylvia!
I relate so much to this video. I have been through so much trauma. I am almost 30 and have failed to gain the success that everyone else around me has. I met an 18 year old who was further along in life than I am. I sit at my dad's home, and wonder how my life would have been if things were different, if I had made better choices. Even though, I am going to college and trying to fix my life now,; I often wonder if my life will really change, or if my past mistakes will cost me my future. I can't go back and change what happened to me, or what I have done. All I can do is learn, and I have learned from my mistakes. I have grown into a slightly better person, but I feel like it doesn't matter. I feel my life is over. I feel like nothing I do will matter, or make any difference. I feel like a hopeless case and I don't know what to do. Thank you for sharing your story.
So relatable... I'm tired...
This is so relatable. I see all these young ones who are killing it.
I definitely had a lot of hardship growing up though that got in the way of things. Just unlucky.
I feel like I’m in a rush to play catch up, but I’m afraid that no matter how hard I try things may not change and that scares me.
My degree, my relationship, my business…I have my time and energy to these things and none of them really panned out so it’s hard not to feel like I’m an incapable failure who makes bad decisions and investments.
I don’t trust myself anymore and I’m so lost in life. I feel like I’ve been fed lies about life. It’s completely not what I expected and I didn’t know life could be this painful.
I'm 29 but i feel like i've wasted the last 10 years of my life. I've let my fears control me, i dont have that much experiences in life, never got a job. I became so passive that i isolated myself thinking everthing or everyone will come to me or get better as i aged, that i will experience things as time passes by, but i was wrong. Because i've realized that we have to be intentional to be able to experience what life has to offer. Fast forward today, i found myself craving for experiences, connections with other people that i should have done these last 10 years. I feel so empty.
So happy to know I am not alone
Everyone around achieved great things and i just failed failed failed....
Almost 0 accomplishments..
No relationship no friends no money. .no anything..
I wish there was a RESET button in life..
I am all fucked up and beyond repair .
Stuck in this world !
THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS BRAVELY...⚘
I can’t give much advice to you about this because I am feeling the same way but I know we can’t give up. Everyday that we’re still breathing is another chance for us to turn things around. That’s the way I try to look at it to keep strong. I kind of have no choice but to be strong because I have children who depend on me. Hopefully things get better for the both of us. Stay strong!
@@tylerverdin4213 thanks
I really wish there's a reset button to this life, I wish I can go back to being 16 and try to make better choices.
All the same, thank God for life.
I feel 100% the same. No Friends no sosial life no girlfriend. I feel lost and dont know how to get my life toggetter. Atleast be a litle.happy man. I suffer in sillence
Same here. There might be a reset button soon though. Age reversal research is being done and scientists found the genes responsible for aging. They say the next decade we might see treatments. All we can do is hope.
I am 40 and I feel this way often enough that I am looking up RUclips videos on the topic lol :-) I really connected with you and the things that you are saying about the subject, so, thank you. I have had one of those lives that make people respond with wow you're lucky to be alive, or God must have kept you around for a reason. This I think has perpetuated my feelings of not being grateful enough, or not doing whatever it was I was saved for or feeling lost and pointless. I have not had an easy life, but, I always had hope for a better future, I think that is one of my biggest problems though, I look toward a better future, but, miss the good that is in my life now. Like you said though it is an ever-changing thing and I guess all we can do is try to appreciate the good that is there now instead of focussing on what good can come from the future if things changed. Anyway, hope you are doing well and am looking forward to watching more of your content. :-)
Thank you so much, Elizabeth. Videos like this is why I create on RUclips (even though I have been experimenting lately with different formats). It's amazing that we can now connect across worlds and find kindreds spirits. I hope you find the balance you seek. I'm aware it's tough to be grateful for the mundane when the world keeps spinning and there's always something better (or worse). I believe our answers to so many things are very subjective, and it's okay to not know.
I'm glad you stopped by today and I wish you all the best. Thanks again.
You are amazing, thank you for sharing this. Nothing about my hand was good. I had narcissist parents, I was abused by a foster fam parent, other relatives for abusive and took advantage of me, I got really ill several times, my career path didn't work. I am 44 carefully selecting a career that is best for me, succeeding in writing and getting a better place.
Victoria, I can't imagine the courage ir would take to go through what you did! Thank you so much for sharing this with me here. I feel inspired to know that someone can go through such an ordeal and still find a path. Where can I find your writing? I would love to read 😊
@@tchassakamga You can find my first poetry chapbook "The Last Time I Had To See You," On Amazon under my name writing name Victoria Hunter. I also have another book on Amazon on the craft of poetry, and several being released very soon. it got much worse, when 3 of my babies died (my son died inside me when I was 7 months pregnant with him), and I found myself homeless all cause of a crooked landlord, and years ago I did attempt suicide, and even tried to drink myself to death, and eat myself to death (I put on 80 lbs in a year), and had to get my stomach pumped from drinking too much. My narc parents basically abandoned me as their child, and only saw me as their slave, and each died with all the other kids names on their policies...etc, and never put my name on it, and everyone thought it was okay, though they always treated me like a slave, and one even wanted me to pay for their funeral. Writing is saving me, and I would now probably die if I didn't do it. I remember my writing teacher asked me why so much of my work was gloomy, and I told him that there was no happiness in my life, just heart ache, and he responded that he understood. A spent a year as a child in a foster home, fighting off large sexual predators, and then beat by their mother if I tried to tell. There are times it will all get the best of me and I will be tempted to start drinking alot again, and instead I will rush to sit down and write. I must write every morning and through my day, or the pain will drive me insane.
Victoria, I just bought your two books on Amazon. All I can say is that I would be honored to hop on a call with you and hear your story. I have a feeling you've overcome so much that many more people need to hear about someone who fought against the odds and continues to fight. Please, if you can, send me an email or message. All my links are here. I just don't want to type because sometimes, bots can crawl and grab emails and the like for spam.
@@tchassakamga Thank you very much:0).
Good Luck ✊
Man, this is one of the best videos I've seen on this. I'm 31 and have spent much of my adult life feeling frantic and left behind. Some great points, especially the parts about direction and perspective.
I can relate a lot, I wasted most of my 20s battling addiction and depression and then finally was able to get my life to a stable point. Got a decent job making decent money and had a passion in that field but now at 32 I’m going through a very tough season my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer taking care of her and being there for her means the world to me. I’m engaged I have my own place I have a lot of things I’ve wanted but recently work has slowed down and it’s been a difficult time. It’s also made me realize and look is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life ? I feel lost on what I should do next. This self battle of why can’t I go after my dreams instead of following what the society standard is. It’s been a tough season but I have to remember this will not be for the rest of my life I have to trust in god that something will give but I also need to put in the work. I feel you so much on this video it’s been a strange time for me. Hopefully things get better. Thank you
I’m 30 now. I e done a couple of things towards my goals. But overall feel like I’m wasting my time and life away at a job I hate, on a daily basis. 40 hours of my life each week flushed down a drain. Because I need to afford to just live. I want to quit, and just paint and draw and work on things I want to do… but I don’t trust myself, I don’t trust that I would do that. I have the fear that if I leave a job I hate, I’ll slack and do nothing even more. Life is really scary and I see everyone around me getting older and older. My parents and pets all getting older. Everything is just depressing me and making me feel worse.
hey man- your comment is really powerful, and i think you hit on a really important idea-- that people need structure in order to be productive. thing is, if your structure (job you hate) is draining your energy even more than having no structure at all potentially would, you're not solving that problem by continuing in this line of work. hope it gets better for you and you find work that can inspire and motivate you!
I just love the cinematic feel of this video. Now let me continue listening. I’ve got a lot of catch up to do with your channel.
You got me at "cinematic". I want to be a better filmmaker and this comment shows I'm taking some steps forward. Niiice :D
Man this hits hard core deep inside. Really came at a moment where im in the limbo of life and unachieved greatness. Great Ideas floating on dusty shelves, intense dream relationship yet feeling a dangling pendolum .rage and hyper emotions down dull days and battling with working for the man for pennies and scraps . Thats the feeling searching for air finally
Breathe, bro
Breathe. I know the feeling too well. I know what I'm capable of doing and it's easy to forget what I've already done. I'm sure you've done well for yourself. True you can do more. But we must come from a place of gratitude and push further. Not from a place of lack and scarcity. That's how I feel. 😎
Your description is so perfect !!! Sometimes it feels like a rollercoaster , Some days I am up while on other days I am at rock bottom
Just a few weeks ago I was back at the bottom of the rollercoaster, waiting for things to work again. Life is really about learning to ride the wave and get better which each cycle. I hope you master the riding skill, Abdul!
This is exactly I have gone through. I am going to be 30 next week.. Still feels like loser
It's a feeling that often pops up when we know deep down that we could be doing more. I can imagine how hard it is. I always have to remember that I can do a lot over a long time especially if I focus on the important things. I think you're doing okay.
I'm sure if you looked objetively, you'll see that you've done a lot. 😁
You can do more and I know you will. One day at a time. Wishing you all the best!
27, 28 in 2 months and i agree, no skills, talents, abilities, havent had a girlfriend in 10 years, I dont have any friends...im a complete loser
Andrew, I think your level of self-awareness makes you far from a loser. The fact that you think about these things show that you have an idea of what you’re capable of, and with action, I’m very sure you will look back and be grateful for this time to think about the life you want.
I’m sure you are interested in something. You will build the skill by going after that thing, taking action, and practicing.
I’m currently going through a tough time in my personal life and I can assure you that if you keep your eyes on the long term, and take action daily, you’ll overcome nearly everything.
You got this. Take a breath, and take the first step.
Women can’t help but be attracted to winners. Take care of yourself, work on your goals, be a winner- be the man she deserves.
You got this 😊
I hate this world. It’s constantly attacking me. So many people are doing better than me. I hate it. Thank you for this video.
I read somewhere that the only person we should compare ourselves with is who we were yesterday. No one has the same circumstances. No one can see the future.
One may win big early in life and life gets cut short. One may suffer greatly and then live the rest of life peacefully and in abundance.
Some die at birth. Others with 3 generations of their descendants.
Comparing yourself to others is a sure way to seek pain.
It doesn’t mean we can’t learn from each other. But that we must keep the main thing as the main thing.
This video was my own way to help others overcome what I had to deal with. And I’m very grateful you enjoyed it.
Thank you for taking the time to watch and even leave a comment. I really appreciate it 🙏🏾
I feel like I was meditating. I think especially with creatives, given that it takes time to see results (money), the questions "am I doing the right thing? Should I stop?" pop in our minds many times. Personally, I use to cry, at some point I even got depressed. Especially being in an industry that shows more of the glamorous angle of things, people often assume that's the life you are living...What I've learned to do is to look at how far I've come, truly appreciate what I have and accepted that it will take time. I've been honest about my struggles especially with my family and friends because the pressure is usually higher when it's coming from them. Finally they've accepted my choices, they understand it will take time and they support me however they can. Speaking of connection, with regards to your RUclips community, I believe you establish it with every video you put out. I love this. Thank you. 🙂
Jens, wow. It takes courage to battle daily like you do, and I feel like everyone who comes in contact with you would be blessed to share the lessons you've picked so far. It's not easy, and I'm proud of you for how much work you have, and continue to, put in.
Thank you for the feedback. I'm happy my content resonates with you and I'll strive to keep improving.
Yes very much like me and my girlfriend. I think social media did its damage. Seeing other people having these amazing lifes you know ? My parents had there own house at 19 im 24 and still live with my mother i cant afford a house a work a dead end job but fulltime it isnt enough... But i feel like we all ride this crazy rollercoaster of life. And lets soak it in as much as we can. Even if it is only listening to music or drinking a beer. Be Kind to others and maybe one day we feel the relief and know life is only truly amazing if you accept that. And stop looking ahead or back just only NOW..
I'm 30. No wife, no kids. 1 or 2 "friends". No career. Hope eludes me at this point.
You know, I've been thinking quite a bit about this and your comment makes me think I really need to get on that video. I just got divorced. No wife, no kids. For the friends department, I have more then I need as I don't need many.
But I've never felt more hopeful.
I've chosen to take my life into my own hands and go after goals I set. It's hard to describe the feeling you get when you take responsibility for your life.
Things aren't perfect. Far from it. Each day, I have to do the work whether it's : food, finances, health, career, etc.
Where I once thought by now I'd have a family of my own, I'm now on my own and build alone. I've decided to make lemonade with oranges.
Given how many times I had to restart college (3), how I moved across the world to meet the person who I'm no longer married to, I've realized one person can rewrite their whole future.
I'm still writing mine. I think you can to.
Hope comes when you start taking action. It's a very strange feeling, I tell ya.
It's only going to get worse.
Waoo I love your honesty Kamga but you are wrong. Many people 'start' doing meaningful things in their life after 30. I think you are still very young; you could start a new career now, you could start school now, you could start a family now and it won't be late. I remember when I got my GCE A/L there was an external student in her 30s who also passed and she was so excited and happy, I was a teenager then and was asking myself why so late!
But being in my 30s too I say ' Life is a marathon not a sprint'.
I definitely find meaning and connection in your videos. I am actually binge watching your videos...Soo inspiring. Keep it up.
I agree with you, many start later in life. I suppose my reflection was simply to echo some thoughts that may arise and my own feelings. I think it's possible to overhaul one's life at any point in time. Once there's life, there's hope. I'm always happy to read comments from you, Rita. Thank you for sharing.
I completely understand. I’ve had a lot of setbacks and I’m in my late 30s. Where there is life there is hope 🍀
Tasha, that right there is my mantra. While there's life in this body, I will never give up hope.
I had a cup of hot Chinese green tea, light soften and listening to you in my armchair and nodding my head like a lizard that fell off a tree. You are still young my friend and you have a bright future ahead ... wait! U have already have it....
😂 UNCLE D! We have nothing but time. Good to see you here brother 🍵 Enjoy.
Thank you Kamga for this awesome video and God bless you.
I'm 30+, single to stupor and in dilemma of what to do with my life. I quit my job since I have nothing to show for working for the past 7yrs. I'm considering starting up a snacks packaging business but fund is an issue. Planning to move away from home to another community to start over. I have a Uni degree and very creative with hand works (knitting, sewing,hair making etc) but lack motivation for most of them.
Also thinking of going back to school or moving to UK for healthcare assistant jobs but will need sponsorship for that.
My brain is full and I'm at the edge of giving up before seeing your video this morning.
**# Indeed, no one gave us a list of what we must have achieved at certain age***
Though I'm not where some of my mates are but I'm also not where I used to be.
Thanks once again bro, God bless you💕❤️💖.
I know this is late but I turn 29 in two months and I feel like I haven’t done anything I only have an associates and I just got promoted in the military but I feel like I wasted the best years of my life not knowing what I really wanted to do
I personally think your best years are ahead. Everything you've done led you to this point and now you can do whatever you want with the life you have. The older I get, the more I realize that a lot of things are really linked to your perspectives. You know something that no one else does. And also, you need to know something that someone else has.
We both give and take. Together.
I'm sending you good vibes. Turning 30 can be a great milestone that you can use to plan the next 30 years of your life. I pray you use your gifts and talents and build the life you want.
I know you can do it. Proof? You're in the military and getting promotions. You're working on yourself. It may be slow, but it's still progress. Just. Keep. Going.
20's is not always the best years of your life, some people can struggle ALOT, some get lead down wrong paths when they are naive to realize the consequences, some get hooked on video games etc.. Just look at khalil rafati a homeless heroin addict well up until the age of 33 then literally crawled his way out of homelessness then went on to become semi famous and a multi millionaire in his forties.. Don't let the age illusion fool you into thinking it's too late, there's many people who have fucked their lives up in their twenties and went on to become famous and succesful etc..
You are still only 29 and that is quite a young age, at least you have realized and still have a good 2 decades to really build your life up. some people don't wake up sadly, imagine being 50 years old only to realize that you have wasted 30 years of your life doing a job you hate just because you got to comfortable. The place I come from there are a lot of 40+ year old losers who wear tracksuits and drink on the streets with their hoods up, causing problems on facebook and harrasing people in and out of jail constantly. Mate your life really is brilliant you have soo much potential because you are still so young, buy some great books take care of yourself and build the success and life you want :)
Wait. Wait. You are in the military, have an college degree and you've just got promoted. Dude you didn't waste anything. Jesus Christ you're well accomplished before 30. You know how hard it is to get a degree but you've did your military big thing and know you e traveled. No dude you are winning. Military alone going to forever give you a gate way and connections that will last forever. Connections even with other soldiers in other countries to talk about your things. I mean coke on youre head of the game. Wasnt on drugs, you could be in worse shape like in 300K in debt and more
Lets be real with each other...everybody even those that you feel are succeeding in life are also dealing with failure to a certain degree..trust me we are all going through motions in life and im of the opinion that life truly starts between 30-40..let us all remind ourselves that we are not in a race with anybody except ourselves..if you in the rat race remember that regardless of whether you come first or last you still a rat..take each day as it comes and take it one step at a time..you will eventually get there..stay blessed fam
Thank you for the two questions I took from this video , ‘Am I moving in the the direction of my potential ? “ Am I getting in the place where I can be the best version of myself ?” These are the questions I took and reflect on. Thank you Kamga!
Thanks for this. most people at 30 or over 30 feel this exact way but somehow we learn to keep moving. nonetheless I learnt something today.
Honestly we need to reflect about one lives each day
Yes we do 😊
I needed this.
I’m 30, and feel like I have no purpose.
I’m a Navy Vet, have a bachelors degree, and am happily married. BUT outside of those things, I feel personally like I have no purpose or like I’m personally unfulfilled. I used to feel so close to God and was so plugged in with a Church Community, but COVID messed me up so bad and now I’m unemployed and feeling spiritually desolate.
(I’m working on this. I think admitting and getting it out is the first step to building purpose)
I feel the same way. I'm going to be 30 near the end of this month and feel like I haven't really achieved anything in my nearly three decades. I self published a book, but did nearly everything aside from the writing all wrong so it has barely sold any copies. I have part time job which I enjoy, but doesn't make me enough money to be secure enough to get my own place, but with my mild autism I don't really think I could do much else. I keep wondering what difference would it have even made to the world had I been born and existed now. I feel like such a failure and feel like I am not good enough.
Your video was helpful. Feeling stuck sometimes can get the best of you. Thank you.
I appreciate your kind words, Firegirl. Thank you for taking the time. Super glad this was helpful.
I can relate to these feelings and I find solace in seeing that I'm not on my own on this collective journey. In bad days, I try to remember that at the end, only one thing awaits each and every single one of us, regardless of wealth, achievements, fame etc. I must try to enjoy each day and learn how to achieve inner satisfaction, not success.
I'm glad to know that I'm clearly not an enigma in feeling this way.
35, no savings just money to get by, no kids, living with parent, no car, expired passport, job career of menial retail and warehouse Jobs over 15yrs, only left the UK twice, once as a kid once as a adult to Amsterdam, learned skills in forklift, security and safety steward but never cared for the roles.
I have no idea what I want to do or where I want to go, but I know that I'm tired of the mundane 'realities' of Life: work, get paid, pay bills, settle down, have kids, repeat.
This videos got me thinking....First of all I felt like I was sitting next to you in that room listening to you talk. Am 31 and I can totally relate.
I feel you completely bro. I really do. It's a strange world we're born into. And somehow we're supposed to "achieve" success. Then we hustle, hustle and then die.
We really need to take a step back and decide how we're going to enjoy this time and the metrics we'll measure our progress by. It's a very personal journey.
Thank you so much for creating this video. I can totally relate! I am turning thirty in several months and I feel like I haven't accomplished all that I should have accomplished by now. Thank you for giving perspective about how there are a lot of people who have everything one could ever want or wish for and how there are people who are considered unlucky or unfortunate and to see where we fall in that scale. That gives me perspective on how much I have to be thankful for like, having good physical health (I am working on having better mental health), having a place to live, and not having to worry about my next meal. I will be coming back to this video again. Thank you again for this video
30 is still young, im 46 would love to be 30 again ..hope you figure out a path for yourself that makes you happy
Thank you, Andrew. You’re very right. I’m 34 now and I’m grateful each day. God has definitely shown me a path and I’m super grateful each day I get the opportunity to walk it.
Also, I know 46 can be a place to start, restart, and even reinvent.
I pray you accomplish the dreams in your heart.
@@tchassakamga thats good to hear, yes hopefully i can accomplish something, ive procrastinated for many years and need to learn to apply myself...ive suffered many years of mental health issues, i need to learn to apply myself more and hopefully things will get better and better :)
birthday is exactly 2 weeks away.. I will be 28 years old. thanks for this video.
🎉 Yay! Happy birthday! Enjoy.
I got to a point where articles and videos about "what I wish I could tell me X year old self" grew old for me.
I turned 31 a few days ago, and I'm so grateful to be able to wake up each day and work towards goals I have set.
I think birthdays are overrated for the celebrations, but underrated for how much they can be a chance to reflect on life and do better.
I wish you the best!😎
Hi Kamga, Thank you for this. I and many others like me needed this video. I stumbled upon this video when soon I am going to turn 29,and being a woman (single) in a country like India wherein once you cross 25 as a woman, society expects you to be in a certain role/job/married/have kids/be in shape... Basically continuing to harp on things which the society expects you to and considers an ideal life. However, I on the other hand took some decisions which felt good at the time they were taken, but now I regret the, basically cos at my age one needs to be successful in the conventional sense, and this has taken a toll on my mental health. But when I look around and as you said appreciating those little things around, I feel lucky. I pause, and breathe, and instantly energise to appreciate the fact that I am still alive, and living. And hope reigns until you're breathing and alive. I appreciate the fact that I still am spending time with my lovely parents, and pets. I am now trying to look at the world through only my lens and not the societies cos that makes me a failure for many.
Priyakshi, this means so much to me to hear that my video was able to provide a glimmer of positivity. I may never truly understand how life is for you, but I'm happy I was able to share these thoughts and reach you.
My father always likes to remind me that once there's life, there's hope. I've internalized that a lot this year and it's kept me going.
I now try to work on what I can and leave the rest to a higher power.
It definitely doesn't work all the time ( lol) and I'm glad there are so many books and videos with people sharing practical ideas and advice.
"I am now trying to look at the world through only my lens and not the societies cos that makes me a failure for many."
Your sentence above, in my opinion, is a powerful way to move forward with all this. Refine your lens and choose yourself.
Once there's life, there's hope. I wish you all the best!
@@tchassakamga thank you Kamga. Really appreciate every aspect of your response. And Thank you for sharing your own experiences and creating a community of people across borders who can share and connect on this shared space of love and encouragement 🌸💐🌱🌳
@@priyakshipandey Hi Priyakashi , I am 29 , indian , even I have taken descision which I regret now , at that time it felt like a good idea , now 6 years forward I am 29 , unemployed , life didnt the way I wished or wanted , once I was very ambitious now people think of me as a loser , I can see my relatives judge me , n not many people respect me , 6 years ago I would have never guessed my life would b like this.....it has raken toll on my mental health , I m not suicidal but I wish I was never born or I could just vanish or could start my life again from 0
@@saurabhv3760 Hey Saurabh. I hope this response finds you in good health. Well, I can totoally relate to everything you just stated. We both are of the aame age, and in a society like ours at 29 you need to have accomplished a lot and settled to suit the dynamics of the world we live in. Somewhere it is not wrong. Somewhere we need to have something in our lives which can keep us going. How ever, I understand that you too have gone through a stage of life where certain didn't sit well with your present. And today you are engulfed in guilt. I can empathize. I am here too. Same phase. Same feelings. To be non existent for once, to rewind life just once. But hey the more you think you could rewind your life, and go back in past or never exisit. There is still hope. Everyday there comes a point where either I feel numb or lost and question my life but then i try to pick up pieces to work on my present and my future. Past is gone. The more you accept it soon the better it will be. Start today
With anything which will lead to your self improvement. Anything which the Saurabh who was six years back would do. You can still make it. You know after seeing many people who have excelled in their 30s 40s and so on I get motivated to restart. Start from somewhere. Do any online course, job even if it pays your peanuts cos that will give a certain shape to your life. Else time will keep on slipping off our hands. Just pick yourself up.
Relatives will judge you no matter what, but you need to re-design your life. And I am sure you will. I too am trying to be the better version of myself. I have been battling the weakest points in my personality and trust me, little steps will take you long way. Just start. There are ample opportunities in this world especially in an age where social media rules. Start for yourself and then your parents. You will be proud of yourself. Take care and I hope you can reshape your life. We all have the power to, we just need one factor to motivate us 🌸🌸🌸. Let not the saurabh in his 30s regret that he could've done soemthing when he was 29yo.
Stay safe 🌸
@@priyakshipandey Hi thanks for writing it back , its 10:51 am , Not a day goes by when I dont feel numb , or hopeless , as son as I wake up I feel numb and I dont have any motivation to get up , and start thinking about all the bad decision I have taken in my last 6 years , to motivate myself , not a day goes by I search "people who were failure in there 20s but ended being successful in their 30s" . by the way I dont have parents , I have a brother and a sister , now at this age I feel like a burden on him , we both are at the age where when we google someone we often find out they are younger than us and are successful . weird thing is happening these days for a year now that i thoughts like "death will be peaceful" or does suicide hurts , idont think i would ever suicide as i dont give more pain to my brother or sister as I am the youngest one ,I dont think I have slept with peace in my last 6 years . thanks for writing me back feel free to share your story and thoughts
I'm about to turn 30 in in 2 months time and here I'm in Dubai 3years now and nothing to show for upon all my hustling tustling NOTHING to show for honestly it hurts 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦 I'm thousands of miles away from AFRICA since 2018 and nothing to show for honestly.
Sometimes I feel like if this is how life is then God should just kill me and let me be out of this cause this kind of life makes NO SENSE to me.
I've said this to Him multiple times
You should be really proud of this video! Came across it by accident and I must stay it sums things up nicely! Well done and keep going!
I really appreciate your comment, James. Thank you. I’ll keep going 🙏🏾
35 years old an I'm in the same situation.. feeling so lost an worthless
You're not alone, Bigdawg. But I can promise you it can get better if you take small steps everyday to improve your environment.
It's been two years since that video. I'll make an update next month on my birthday.
Don't wanna waste your life? Spend your evenings with art, literature and books. That's what I do and it's the only time I'm happy.
My 5 favorite Amazon purchases (that help me survive lockdowns):
- Testament by Frank Frazetta
- Scream of Eagles by Robert Wilcox
- The Joy of Art by Carolyn Schram
- 7x7x7 SpeedCube (rubic's cube)
- Great Fighter Jets of the Galaxy 1 by Tim Gibson
Same here
I'm 25 and feeling like a failure since I was born. I keep failing at everything that I end up dissapointing even my own parents of my own existence. Im jobless since covid started. IM DUMB, TRASH, AND THE BIGGEST FKIN LOSER IN LIFE
Boss I’m with you I’m about to be 25 same lost and don’t know what to do but now it’s time to step up and stay strong 💪🏽 it’s ok to feel lost just remember it could always be worse find your passion never give up hope
Sending you love right now bro
everything is all random,to hold yourself to its events will leave you stressed,breath and find a new perspective,your thinking projects outwards into result
Randomly come across this, brilliant podcast deserves more views. Thanks for sharing very good podcast, I feel the same but I've seen poverty in other countries and made me realise how lucky I am. Dont get me wrong, we are still human and still get down over things out of our hands, its only human.
Much appreciated! I agree. I try to remember that all "my problems" could actually be blessings for other people. It makes me "chill" more and just take in life. Thank you for stopping by, Shahad.
The fear of unfulfilled potential.
It can punch the hope out. 😌
The looks of disappointment makes you head down.
I’m feeling really bad at the moment and I think this video helped in some way
Great video. 👍 28 and just started feeling like this.
It definitely gets better. Insofar as you keep moving and learning, it’ll get better 🙏🏾
Powerful Story , Your Video Has Really Resigned With What I’m Currently Experiencing.
Thank you for leaving a comment, Sean. I appreciate you. I hope you find a way through what you're experiencing.
Assuming you were the one planting plants...that was a success (even if it was the tiniest task). You did something that made you feel good in the moment that springs life and doesn't destroy. Do you know how many people DON'T take the time to engage in such a small activity? It's those little things sometimes where you find the key to the next door. Hopefully you found peace. God bless you.
20 here and I came to this video as what not to do. I was raised in poverty but now have a place and 2 whips. All I can say is if you want something in life then go and get it bc it wont come to you, it’s all about how you use your 24 hours don’t let any moment go to waste
We make plans but only God knows what plan is best for us. Being grateful is very important. I am not one to look back and regret I just try to move on and see if I can still catch up with some of those things I wanted to do
Truth right there! Sometimes I think we just have to decide that we came here with nothing and everything is an addition. While there's life, there's hope. Thanks, Kenna 😊
Many of us feel that they haven’t achieved much (myself included). However, lately I started volunteering while doing my Master’s degree and it’s a great feeling to know that you are part of some change no matter how small it is.
you're very well spoken and eloquent! Needed to hear this. peace!
Hey Kamga! call yourself Kamga when you don’t know how to call yourself, that’s just enough. I have a feeling everyone at one point feel they way you feel. You talk well and in clean ascent, that’s what you have at that far end that a lot of people don’t. Cheers
I'll take that compliment and run with it. Thank you for watching and making the time to leave a comment. It means so much to me. I'll remember this.
I am 35 and I feel like this. I think suicide is the only option for me. I do not believe my life matters and I wish I had never been born.
Isa, I cannot begin to imagine how you feel. For real. I have been through tough times, but "tough" is relative.
The only thing I like to keep in mind is that there are many options that aren't as definitive some.
When I look back to the things I thought broke me, I realize they were simply preparing me for other things.
When those were happening, I had no context. No pre-knowledge. Nothing to help me understand why it was happening.
But as I took one day at a time, and focused on what I could actually do - despite of what had happened within or beyond my control - something magical happened: I got better.
Slowly. Very slowly. In a way I couldn't even measure, things got slightly better.
Now, I realize that's all I need. I can't change my life overnight. I can't get over a breakup by just thinking about it less. I can't find a job with the same skills I had/have.
I just have to slowly move towards having more options.
I'm not a therapist or a counselor. Just a dude who thinks a lot and believes in the tiniest bit of hope.
All I have had to help me is hope that I could improve.
And because I don't know the future, I'm happy to be a fool who hopes.
This foolishness has served me better than my objective logic of how bad things were.
It's this foolishness that keeps me going. It's this foolishness that has brought me back from a place of darkness to one of joy.
I'd highly recommend you talk to someone who has the skills to help with what you're going through. And if you need to just shoot the shots and banter about stuff, I'm happy to give an ear.
You don't know where your story goes from here if you keep going.
This video really hits home, friend. Please make more videos and keep us posted on your progress. Praying for us all.
Andy, this video came from a very special place and I often don't recognize the guy who speaks in it. There's so much more that I have to learn, and I'm happy to update that I'm still hopeful and full of life.
How are you?
Thank you so much😭 I was drowning in my thoughts and emotions but you motivated me to get up, roll up my sleeve and put my self to work. Thanks🤧
Thank you Kamga for this video, I feel like I needed to listen to someone who struggles in life and knowing that I'm not alone. I'm 19 (gonna be 20 in 5 months) I still feel like I'm lost, I'm loser, and most importantly, a Failure. After I graduated High School at the age of 17 I have worked many jobs, I have went to college for one semester and dropped out the next because my professor wasn't teaching me anything and I was expected to complete a 9 chapter book by the end of fall 2020 semester and I lost faith in school. While I was working after high school, I was studying to join the US Navy and I kept making myself look stupid based off of my test scores in math and I felt like knowing that I have Autism and a Learning Disorder, I knew I was worth nothing since I learned nothing in school. School for me was like picking up a pencil and paper and doing assignments without learning anything and it was challenging knowing how much my disorders got to me and I even asked How Did I graduate with a Diploma??. I still feel lost, I have no friends in the state that I live in, My family doesn't even check up or talk to me, I feel like I'm gonna go no-where in life and somehow I feel like I already accepted that. Sorry If I'm just saying a bunch of stuff but it's just how I've been feeling after High School.
You have so much time. I went to school at 27 it worked out. Just keep going
@@jordanlakey5714 Thanks man, I hope everything is going well in your life.
Oh lord, thank you for sharing this insight. I feel the same as you used to, apparently to a similar extent. I am 25 (man) and have nothing to show outside of my personality, because I gave up on life at a very young age. I regret it so much. I feel like I'm so late to start over. Haven't experienced or achieved anything meaningful since I used to just let the time pass. Basically I'm what people would call a loser. It hurts a lot when I tell myself that... I dropped out of higher education, and directly settled for very low paying jobs, which aggravated my physical and mental health. I just wanted to survive and didn't care about my health, my life in general. It's sad, but many of us never took the time to look at opportunities, and many don't know where and how to start. Went from a brilliant child with high potential, to a broken, stupid, slow depressed man. With the pressure the current western world puts on our shoulders, it's difficult to let go and admit we failed at everything.
Woke up to a terrible panick attack this year on my 25th birthday, realizing you only have one life and it's slipping away. Realizing that your own father is a narcissist and prevented you from feeling worthy by putting you down, humiliating you for 25 years and stealing your youth, because it makes him feel better about his miserable boring existence. You know what ? Screw that sc*umbag, he's the real loser, not me.
Okay, I'm starting over, I said. But man, could I ever know how difficult it actually is ? You wake up in a man's body, more mature, stronger, more conscious about the world, utterly depressed and painfully isolated from other human beings. Started working again but adjusting is so difficult. My country keeps collapsing faster and faster again, I have no hobbies and no interest for anything in life. I forgot how pleasure, curiosity and joy feel. Never had a dream / goal, man.
I am sorry to write this down here, but I have absolutely no one to tell. And no respect for myself anymore so just feel like saying the truth to anyone.
Honestly, the first thing I think about every morning is leaving really far and killing myself in a quiet place. I've never been so close to committing.
I feel you. It's VERY typical from people who came from very abusive family to not make it in life, I mean how could you?
People who have never experienced this will not comprehend it.
25? You're still pretty young. It takes a lot of humility and bravery to share your story and be vulnerable online don't shame yourself for that.
Also, while true you can't go back in time, you can still make it, you can still go back to school and get that degree , you can still commit to fight depression and the feeling of worthlessness, please don't give up on yourself it's still possible my friend. I believe in you.
@@littleangel6203 Oh, really thanks a lot for taking the time to read me and for your input. This is so nice of you.
I think I really needed to hear that. I need to step out of the comfort zone if I want a fresh start.
I hope you're fine and wish you well. Thanks :)
You're welcome☺️.
Your voice is so soothing. I love listening to you.
Thank you! You're far too kind. I will keep creating.
Thanks you don’t know how much you helped
Sammy, thank you. Reading this makes me so happy. I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY! Thanks for sharing your story.
I’m 20 yrs old. I’m feeling so empty and unmotivated to the things I usually do. Some of these things bring income and I’m just lost. Idk what to do and I feel like everyone doesn’t understand and help without giving me a direct answer.
Ulta, feel free to send me an email. Personally, I love to read because sometimes I stumble on questions I didn't even know I had. One book that I would highly recommend, especially as you're in your early twenties, is The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay. Here's her TED Talk ( which is one of my favourite TED Talks): ruclips.net/video/vhhgI4tSMwc/видео.html
Those 15 minutes would be well spent. Even if you never read the book, you can start to see what to do to address your current struggles.
The fact that you watched this video, and left such a thoughtful comment shows you are self-aware and you're not giving up. You will keep searching until you find what you seek and that is a very powerful asset. I pray things work out for you in the long run. No condition is ever truly permanent. Again, if you need to bounce ideas or talk with someone who has had a similar experience, feel free to email me. I wish you the best .
really powerful. sometimes I feel stuck and this video is really encouraging to me
Wow. That's an amazing compliment for me today. Thank you Charlene 😊
Thank you, thank you! I needed to hear this, we are not alone! Agreed, we are going to be okay, we are going to be okay!❤
Mmm. I’m 30 now and I’ve always wanted a fun life, I’ve never been interested in working. It feels like such a waste of life. “Living to work or working to live”. I feel like If I died on my 31st birthday and myself and everyone else is listening at my funeral, they wont have a lot to say. She had a kid, a husband, brought a house and went to Thailand twice. That’s it. My life isn’t worth saying anything about, there’s nothing much worth saying. If I died on my 35th birthday, a full 35 years of life, what will they have to say then? I’m working toward a much better life that I dream of, but it’s just hard knowing it’s going to take time. I feel like we have midlife crisis at 30 now because we grow up and do whats expected of us much earlier than we used to. I wanna die knowing my life was worth it.
Gratitude and contentment will take us places we can’t even fathom. Life in itself is so unpredictable that even being able to realize the plans we had for ourselves is such a huge blessing. I believe in God and that teaches me that He has a perfect plan for me because He is a perfect God. That puts me in a place of rest, rest in his unconditional love and his mercy for times that I’ve messed up and made bad decisions. I see so much beauty and purpose (even in the midst of pain) of every stage in my life. I’m so grateful for what I’ve been able to accomplish and for the ones that I haven’t yet, I’m working on them and learning not to put myself under so much pressure ( which I sometimes do). Thank you so much for this video. It helped me to think hard about my life.
I think you should write as well as make videos. Or maybe you'll surprise me with a link to your blog. lool
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I really believe that looking at things from different angles can show us ideas and paths we may have ignored. I'm honored that the video made you to reflect on your on journey. It means I'm getting ever so close to my goal with video :)
Don't throw your problems at some god and hope he fixes them, face them yourself.
#takeaction... No matter how small it is... Thanks for being vulnerable
Thank you my brother. Our lives are not for us alone. I feel we need to give other people courage by being courageous in sharing our stories. There's power in vulnerability.
Turned 30 in October last year and I feel like an abject failure. Career is a total mess and I have limited options available to fix it. I envisioned a different me at this age and instead I see a man who is tired, useless and has almost nothing to give to improve the world or make anyone happy. I get you man. Life is hard, but we have to keep trying. As hard as it is. Keep trying.
Update: I have finally began to fix the problems that I had. I have found a way to fix my career and I am in the process of fixing it as we speak. I have realised that the position that I have found myself in over the last year wasn’t actually my fault. The workplace I was in before was completely toxic environment and it didn’t work for me, I didn’t fit in there basically. My new job, I fit in so much better and I have managed to restore the love I once had for my profession. Obviously it was up to me to fix the issues I had, no one else was going to do it for me and it took me a while to find the correct ways to fix the problems. But I’ve done it. I almost gave up on this profession and now I’m so glad that I didn’t.
A little bit of belief, support and basic human kindness goes a long way.
I’m an english teacher by the way. As tough as this job is, the rewards far outweigh the challenges when you’re in the right environment with the right people.
Stay strong everyone. ❤
Craig, this is truly one of the best comments I have read on this channel. 7 months ago, while still unsure of how things would go, you had a positive attitude about it all. And then 6 months later, not only did you turn things around, but you came back to share what you got from your journey.
I appreciate and thank you for sharing this. It encourages me to keep going, and especially to remember to share that human kindness with all the people I meet.
I wish you joy, happiness, and progress! THANK YOU!
@@tchassakamga, no problem at all. It’s not been the easiest time, but I somehow managed to get through it and the light is now visible at the end of tunnel, so to speak.
I hope my comment helps those that find this video and gives them a little bit of hope that things will get better in time.
Keep posting your content. It was a huge comfort to me when I needed it and I’m sure others will find that same comfort also.
Wish you all the best and thank you again. Stay awesome. ❤️
Im 40 and waste all my money gambling and drinking. Ive been sober 6 months now and it does feel good being sober but i cant see a way out or a good future for me. I know i have the freedom to off myself. That is the best way. This is for me but i do hope all you guys out there can make it better.
Wow this was such a great video
I love the vulnerability of this post, thank you.
I'm 38 I don't know wtf I'm doing now. I've tried things and nothing has worked as yet. All I'm good at doing is going from job to job and listening to other ppl tell me what to do
Thanks for the genuine video.
I appreciate you, Paul. Thank you.
Brother I relate to you 100%
I'm only a few minutes in at this point but I wanted to comment on how you mentioning birthdays hit me because I have noticed that the older I get (I am currently older than you, that's as specific as I'll get), the more I actually dread going out to dinner with my family. I don't actually care that much about aging part of a birthday, but because at some point my dad is inevitably going to ask about what I did over the past year (my birthday is in December) and what my plans are for the next year, etc. And he's not doing it to give me a hard time, etc, but I end up feeling very defensive because I basically never have much to show, at least not anything I'm really proud of or was planning to do. I really feel like I always have plans to do things and then somehow I can never manage to get them done, or I do start to follow a certain path but then I realize that I don't actually like it. I feel like I am constantly in a state of "putting out fires" and attending to things that feel urgent that I can never seem to make significant progress with things I really *want* to do. I dunno. I'll be seeking some help soon, cause I do have ADHD and maybe there are some other things getting in my way too, but it definitely is becoming something that's bothering me a lot. I will say that I am grateful for a lot of things and that helps keep my grounded to an extent; I don't typically get too far into negativity, but I still acknowledge that even with all the things I am grateful for, I still feel like there's so much I could be doing, if I only I knew what that was.... if that makes any sense.
P.S. - I also appreciate that you have the impulse of self-development instead of getting stuck in negativity. The idea of putting things in perspective and seeing how lucky we really are is great advice, and I'm glad you discovered that for yourself. I agree that it's really useful. I think it's also really useful to do something similar but sort of opposite, which is to look at other people--rich and poor, able-bodied and disabled, famous or unknown, etc--and try to see what we might have in common. And that's been really powerful for me because as you sort of touched on, even if we did get what we thought we wanted, many of us would then find something else we wanted to attain or achieve... it's the "grass is always greener" thing. But when I can look at people who have it "better" or "worse" than I do, I like to remember that no one escapes the human condition. Even the rich and powerful can't escape things like mental and emotional problems, they can't escape mortality, etc. And even though they may not ever feel like they are lacking for anything, since they could buy or perhaps even take what they want, they are victims to the opposite fear, which is that they will lose everything they have or have it taken from them. And so in the end it seems that yes, I do want to set and accomplish more goals that are entirely mine, I think it's also important that we take time to learn about our fears and resentments and those other core emotions that are in the back of our minds steering us. I've learned only in early middle age that I have spent most of my life driven mostly by fears, and so I've been working to try and overcome that and be free of that paralysis. Anyhow, thanks for the video!!
I feel you so much friend. 33
Thank you, my friend! 🤗