Lessons learned: 1) Always deny assistance to someone after receiving a gift from them. 2) Always ask to be compensated for your time, effort, or resources. 3) If 'everyone does something', figure out why you don't, and do whatever works for you. 4) Don't be afraid to change your ideas, or publicly retract statements.
When I volunteer, I feel rewarded already. People like volunteering, we like making the world a better place. Not only don't I ask for compensation for my efforts from NGOs I volunteer at - I donate to them. That is, when I feel they are doing a good job. Those NGOs which I consider inefficient - I don't volunteer not donate to.
There is one tactic that never fails. A hobo near my neighborehood used to ask for change with little to no success. He now does it at gun point. Funny thing is that he doesn't only gets change, but wallets, and watches too.
Idk, are you complaining about clickbait? Because then you got tricked to learn a bit of basic human psychology, which will likely be useful to you if you didn't know this stuff already. I'd say that's a good deal. Also, these are in fact *slightly* unethical: making someone commit to something and then making them feel bad if they don't stay true to that commitment, making someone feel bad for being different than the rest (or rather that they should do what everybody else does), giving something to someone just so that feel like they HAVE to give back somehow. These are, I'm fact, slightly unethical, so you are just nitpicking.
krrrruptidsoless actually that's kinda my version of it basically summing it up a lil better this is the real quote "You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
I think this is sound advice. I ended up here because I'm thinking of how to deal with a situation: I've recently moved into an apartment in which I live above a family with a 4 year old child. Prior to this, I lived in a home (I owned) and had no worries about the level at which I played my sound system when listening to music or watching films. Now I'm aware of the fact that I'm right above these people (with their child) and I don't want to be a bad neighbor - but, at the same time, I greatly love my down time and the time I spend watching music videos, watching films, and listening to music on my home theater system. In short, I want to listen to my content as loudly (and as late) as I can without seriously disturbing or bothering my downstairs neighbors. They've just moved in, and, so far, I have a positive dialogue with them. They seem friendly. This video made me think that leaving a bottle of nice champagne or cava on their doorstep with a "welcome" note, might put me in their good graces so that I can express my desire not to bother them, but also forewarn them that I enjoy my home theater system. I don't want them to suffer or put up with a disturbance, but, at the same time, I'm hoping that they won't be hyper-sensitive. Does anyone here have any suggestions on how to help me respect my neighbors but also enjoy my audio (and yes, I have headphones, but there are times I can't - and don't want to - go that route.)
Berus7777 . I have some headphones with digital surround, only $170, they are better than any movie theater sound system I've heard. Look into headphones. If you have the cash you can also put down "sound deadening material" on your floor. They use it in cars and music studios, it doesn't have to be foam, they sell rubber like mats now too.
There is a group of people next to the building I live that play absurdly loud music. One day I was fed up and went to talk with them. I told them everyone in the building was fed up instead of just me, and now they don't play music anymore. Success.
#4 is so powerful because although we think our identity is housed within our bodies.... the reality is our identities exist between us and the people we communicate with. This is some intense shit but once you really understand it you can transform yourself dramatically into who you want to be. You just need to commit to things publicly. The more public and the more brutally honest you are when making the commitment, the more binding it will be. You will be a different person literally the moment you make the commitment.
I find the first tip the most useful. Giving before asking allows a positive relationship that goes both ways. Even if you can't give large amounts of items or give important favors giving something small is better then giving nothing at all.
when you find yourself in the majority, it's time to take a step back reflect, evaluate and may act differently. why should i be motivated to do something because other people do it this way? it works analog to "just because a lie is belived by millions of people, doesnt make it true". it may not be the right thing to do, quality > quantity. you also can even use the backfire technique to your advantage: "most people have a very narrow-minded view on drugs believing in prejudices, why don't you join them?" ;)
I remember reading that you can get more people to do things if you give a reason, even if the reason doesn't make it better to comply. "Let me go ahead of you at the copier" doesn''t work, but "let me go ahead of you at the copier because I need to make some copies" does. Even if the reason is utter nonsense, just stating it is often enough to change behavior: "let me go ahead of you at the copier because my dog is sick".
I'm past that phase. I already have it in my subconscious mind everything that is useful that "everybody does", such as respecting the laws of physics and avoiding self-harm.
+chestbuster1987 Hehe, when I see that kind of thing, my instant reaction is "Well, sorry to tell you, but I despise herd mentality. Now get me a new towel, and if it's just for that poor attempt at manipulating me instead of using reason."
The trick of giving before you ask is something I figured out when I was a kid. The overjustification effect is also something I figured out but I have resolved it in my psyche to reflect my actual pay. Hence, if you pay me less then my output will be sub-par and not up to my potential. You pay me more and I will give back exactly what you pay me in terms of quality, efficiency, labor, and work. By making myself aware of this I made my bosses increase my pay to reflect my actual work potential. The message I set out to send was clear: You get what you pay for.
The is a big exception with "Give before you ask" is in business. These days you need to make sure you're compensated fairly for your work before you do it. A lot of people try to come in low with hopes of being raised up and are often disappointed. I've learned this one the hard way.
I find manipulation to be an extremely off-putting idea, so I make sure the person I'm persuading understands every aspect of what I'm doing to try to change their perspective. Manipulation is simply an exploitation of ignorance.
+Randombanana No, he said that money CAN make people work less hard than if you made them do something for free, with the explanation that the pleasure of doing the task simply outvalued the worth of the money that was offered. However, offer them A LOT of money and they'll feel like they are indebted to you, so with the right amount you can basicly make them do what you want.
Careful, #1 amounts to bribery, but if the other party is aware of it then it will backfire massively! People like being treated with "extra kindness," but they don't like being bribed, even if the only difference is the mindset of the giver.
Number 1 is so true. I help my weed guy who’s also my coworker by giving him new customers. One night I needed some but didn’t have cash. He said “no prob just pay me back” Great success!
Used the first tip heavily especially in malls and big purchase. Before a big date, I eat at a restaurant on my own for a few days (I know I'm weird but this has the added bonus of you assessing if this is really the place you want to spend lunch or night with a special someone) and tip generously each time. On the time of my date, we get great service. Give before you ask :)
+Bite Size Psych You stole this straight from Dr. Robert Cialdini & Steve Martin's Secrets of Persuasion. Even the examples and case studies. Why didn't you at-least acknowledge them in the description.
It's also about how much it means to the donator. For rich people time is often more precious. If you have the feeling that he sacrifices something for you, you'll be more willing to help independent of what it's actually worth.
I once was in between jobs and filled my time by volunteering for 8 months. I remember only working hard to prove my worth so I could earn some money, it worked, they hired me first vacancy that opened up. Once I got the job I worked harder to prove my worth for promotion and more money. Money drives the motivation. On the other side, as manager I had many more volunteers come in, everyone was driven by wanting to get a job and get paid.
When it comes to the first one, you don't have to give things, emotional support/letting a person know you're there for them to talk to can be enough, especially if said unusually early in a friendship. This however cannot be done too soon as it will come off creepy, and it takes time because some people you'll have to tell them multiple times you're there. This works best for men talking to women, and is a very tricky yet useful skill.
So, a few days ago, i was leaving a train, and there were an older couple with 2 grandchildren and some luggage, so i asked if they needed any help getting everything down. I helped, i gave the suitcases to the granddad and helped those kids down with a smile and all the "weeeeee" sounds you would do for kids. and after i finished i didn't even glimpse at the old man as he said thank you, i just turned around, said no problem, good bye and continued my way, so since that day i ask myself, why did i help them? i didn't seek their gratitude, i just wanted to finish the job i wanted to do. my guess is it was for myself, or maybe i was just cold so i did it as polite and fast as i could just so i could go. i reasoned, maybe that question doesn't need an answer as long as i am willing to help others, but i still wonder...
I think #4 is more of a subset of Motivating Personal Responsibility. Pointing out hypocrisy is one way to do this, but there are other ways like giving special responsibility for specific tasks or offering clear motivations for certain behaviors. All very good and accurate points, but #4 could probably be expanded.
Summary: 1) Give before you ask (power of reciprocity) 2) Money won't always work (rationalization->overjustification, appeal to values) 3) Use conformity (caveat descriptive and injunctive norm should match) 4) Point out hypocrisy (let commit publicly, people avoid become hypocrites)
your videos arz just really good ! Your way of talking and even your voice are so great ( personal opinion ) and I wish I could talk the same way someday ! Your content is very fruitful ! keep going and I am looking forward to watch more videos from your channel
something I like to use when persuading someone is painting a clear picture of what they should do and then play down how much work it is. Like if I want someone to pick something up from the supermarket I'd say something like: you just have to go in, get the thing, and get out.
Hi. Great Video. It seems like I read this info from this book called "The definitive book of body language" by Robert Pearce. Did you get the information in the video from the same book? Just Curios :)
I love the intro 😂 this is just a more classy version of the intros to cracking bike locks that says this is for when you have forgotten the code/key. Still. Be nice, everyone. Most people are; don't be That Guy.
I learnt the opposite of number 1 from Bel Ami. If offered beforehand, it is a bribe -if after, it is a reward/thank you. Works for small favours..especially seeing as people like you more when you ask them for small favours.
I was fired because I refused to accept number 2 persuasion (work for other values instead of money). But that because the company failed to follow number 1 persuasion (give before ask), as the company just wanted work but was enable to fulfill the promesses it made.
Your videos are great Bite Size Psych! I cant predict the future(maybe you can do a video about this topic :P) but in the near future i do hope to see more people liking and subscribing to your channel. Thank you once again!
If you ever give a public speech, make sure to leave what you want everyone to think or know till last, the last thing you say is the part that stays in everyone's mind afterwards
I got convinced, giving back to society - Summary: 1) Give before you ask (e.g. waiters giving 1 mint, then coming back and say to you nice people I am giving you an extra mint (increase 22% tips); 2) Money won’t always work (People rather volunteer their time, than be paid a “lower” wage, promote the idea of giving back to society); 3) Use conformity (Say that “Everyone else is doing it”, but you need to do it in a non-conflictual idea norms, don’t say “obesity is an epidemic, oppose the trend and eat healthy”, rather say 2 norms that match “more and more people are eating healthy, join the trend so we can reach 51%”; 4) Point out hypocrisy (make people say public statement so they commit to it “The use of condoms is important, I use them all the time”)
Tip 1 is better used with care, and never on anyone even remotely important to you. That goes especially when you ASK for something. On most people it works only once, and makes them jaded towards you. What's better, a 99% success chance on the first time and a 0.01% success rate every time after that, or a consistent success rate depending on the basic willingness of that person? In fact, the amount of tips given is not a good example, since there is no asking involved. It is common to give tips, so you're already likely to get one, all you get is a bit more. Try bringing someone a cake and shortly after that, "coincidentally" ask that person to help painting the house. They'll never eat your cakes again, or even better, continue to take the cake but "coincidentally" have no time to help you out..
Same is prevalent in school marks. As a student I have never been the best. I have always gotten b & c grades but never a grades. After having read 'The little black school book' by Dr Mark Lopez there were two main factors that contributed to a student's success. Firstly the schollary skills and success of students. The second was the markers impression of the student. The second aspect was evaluated to contribute on average a one grade difference between students who employed manipulation techniques to gain teacher favour and those who didn't. This is why some people say that attractiveness can influanced your hraids.So if you want to improve upon your grades it is advised that you create a phycological analysis in a section of you scrap book on the teacher or marker in your book. This should focus on the langauge used by the marker and the actions of the marker in reference to positive and negative feedback.Lastly if you can suduce your teacher, ;) he he he... Then you garentee success
Giving people rewards when they least expect it is another great way just don't over do and make sure failure don't go unnoticed either get be to kind tell them youre dissapointed in them that makes you feel like crap.
How to get something you want from ur mom You: Mom do you love me very much? Mom: Yes! You: Do you love me so much you would get me this candy bag? Mom: Ummmm ok... Congrats you got a candy bag!
There's also another powerful persuasion that is overlooked. Flip the first tip and instead of give, accept a gift or ask for something simple. Psychologically people like you more after they give you something.
I hate that expression, "Giving back to society." No one who has worked hard to be successful (or even slightly above poor) needs to give back anything because they took nothing from society in the first place. A simple concept that many apparently don't get. When my father and the rest of us moved to America, it was a struggle. No one helped us except one charity. My father took their help and their money. A few years later, he repaid them for the money they gave him. The only ones who need to give back to society are the ones who victimized its members. Muggers, thieves, rapists, etc. Those are the ones who took from society's members and continue to take from society. It costs money to lock them up. But beyond that, they get free food, free medical and dental care, free education to get their G.E.D., free courses to learn a money-making trade for when they get released from prison. *They* are the ones with an obligation to give back to society what they took. When I donate to charity, I don't do it out of a sense that I owe society anything. I do it because I make promises to God above that I will. And I keep those promises.
I think you're looking at this the wrong way. For most people "giving back to society" means that they feel like they have taken something that society provides for granted, which in essence is a form of theft, and then donating their time or money to allow others to use it. For example a public park. Someone might think to themselves, "You know, I enjoy this park a lot, its beautiful and great place to relax and get away from the stress of daily life." Then they might reason to themselves, that much of its beauty comes from volunteers who donate their time to clean up trash and keep the paths orderly. He then might decide to join them in order to maintain the beauty and serenity of the park. This man hasn't taken anything from society, he is not a criminal, and yet he chooses to use time he could have put into advancing his own self interests into aiding the upkeep of something he wants other people to enjoy. That's what giving back to society is. Giving the people in a society something for all that society has given you and not expecting a physical reward. If you have ever head of "pay it forward" its similar to that. Society helps you, you help society. If you take advantage of something society provides for you, whether it be a park, roads, education, child care, ect you give back by aiding those things so others in society can use them just as you did.
Sjwn123 Honestly, I think people trying to guilt others into donating look at it the wrong way. Now I can understand wanting to get others to donate to a noble cause. But this whole concept that decent, hard-working people somehow took from others, and thus need to "Give Back To Society" is quite frankly, an insane concept. It's a notion that only a lunatic in a mental asylum would think up. And yet, it has become widespread. Let me clarify..... If someone individually feels that they've gotten help from society in general to become successful, and they themselves feel a desire to "Give Back," okay; that's one thing. But this notion is parroted by people who feel that somehow, hard-working people have taken from Society and that *those* people need to "Give Back." And when that concept is applied in that way, it is an idea that should only exist in the minds of mentally disturbed individuals who sit in padded rooms while wearing straight-jackets. The fact that such a notion has become common place with regards to how people look at others..... that is truly disturbing.
Apple's debut commercial was against conformity. These are great in most situations. But sometimes the right thing to do will vary depending on the context.
There are a few people I know who are too aware, or too unaware to use these on, my father, for example, will lash out in defensiveness if you point out his hypocricy
People just prefer doing something for free instead of for a low price. In both occasions the person giving you the offer is trying to be nice. But in the case of the cheap offer the receiver will think of it as a bargain instead of an act of kindness and will not appreciate the act. The emotional reward for doing something nice for someone is not met in that case.
I have been binge watching this channel and it reflects my logical actions and persuasions with others so much! Also was this video based of the novel, Influence?
Lessons learned:
1) Always deny assistance to someone after receiving a gift from them.
2) Always ask to be compensated for your time, effort, or resources.
3) If 'everyone does something', figure out why you don't, and do whatever works for you.
4) Don't be afraid to change your ideas, or publicly retract statements.
+Firstname Lastname Reading this actually concerns me, not because these are "lessons learned", but because this sounds exactly like politicians.
+Firstname Lastname Can also refuse gifts. People who gift for no clear reason usually have a hidden reason for it.
First and last is a contrarian, very good!......or very bad as he would see it.
sqdtnz not everyone
When I volunteer, I feel rewarded already.
People like volunteering, we like making the world a better place.
Not only don't I ask for compensation for my efforts from NGOs I volunteer at - I donate to them.
That is, when I feel they are doing a good job.
Those NGOs which I consider inefficient - I don't volunteer not donate to.
Going to carry round a pocket of mints now
The Channel of Stuff Also works with gum. Just make sure you pop one yourself before offering or they'll get self conscious about their breath.
The Channel of Stuff 😂😂😂
The Channel of Stuff lol no lie so was I lmao
krrrruptidsoless I didn't like for the bottom of your comment.
There is one tactic that never fails.
A hobo near my neighborehood used to ask for change with little to no success.
He now does it at gun point. Funny thing is that he doesn't only gets change, but wallets, and watches too.
+YoungD3mon314 And your gun to it, apparently.
#livingthedream
When there's a will there's a way.
Juan Carlos Rodriguez c wut u did
LMAO Juan Carlos Rodriguez...true!
You didn't mention the trick you used to attract viewers, i.e slightly unethical.
What did he use? :o
+Lucaria clickbait
Idk, are you complaining about clickbait? Because then you got tricked to learn a bit of basic human psychology, which will likely be useful to you if you didn't know this stuff already. I'd say that's a good deal. Also, these are in fact *slightly* unethical: making someone commit to something and then making them feel bad if they don't stay true to that commitment, making someone feel bad for being different than the rest (or rather that they should do what everybody else does), giving something to someone just so that feel like they HAVE to give back somehow. These are, I'm fact, slightly unethical, so you are just nitpicking.
+Steven Path What?
Soles Clickbait
"People hate being hypocrites. This is something we can EXPLOIT"
another thing that helps is a reward system. For example, returning their first born child only if they comply
Chase Lanier You can stretch that out for a couple of months by only returing a severed finger or toe each week!
Vicvic W My mom is pregnant lol.
Al Capone once said it's better to ask nicely with a gun pointed to someones head rather than asking nicely.
Do you have documentation or just a movie script that he said that.
krrrruptidsoless actually that's kinda my version of it basically summing it up a lil better this is the real quote "You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
I think this is sound advice. I ended up here because I'm thinking of how to deal with a situation: I've recently moved into an apartment in which I live above a family with a 4 year old child. Prior to this, I lived in a home (I owned) and had no worries about the level at which I played my sound system when listening to music or watching films. Now I'm aware of the fact that I'm right above these people (with their child) and I don't want to be a bad neighbor - but, at the same time, I greatly love my down time and the time I spend watching music videos, watching films, and listening to music on my home theater system. In short, I want to listen to my content as loudly (and as late) as I can without seriously disturbing or bothering my downstairs neighbors. They've just moved in, and, so far, I have a positive dialogue with them. They seem friendly. This video made me think that leaving a bottle of nice champagne or cava on their doorstep with a "welcome" note, might put me in their good graces so that I can express my desire not to bother them, but also forewarn them that I enjoy my home theater system. I don't want them to suffer or put up with a disturbance, but, at the same time, I'm hoping that they won't be hyper-sensitive. Does anyone here have any suggestions on how to help me respect my neighbors but also enjoy my audio (and yes, I have headphones, but there are times I can't - and don't want to - go that route.)
Berus7777 You shouldn't listen to your audio late, if the insulation is not good enough.
My advice is switch to headphones at night. During the day use the sound system.
Berus7777 .
I have some headphones with digital surround, only $170, they are better than any movie theater sound system I've heard. Look into headphones.
If you have the cash you can also put down "sound deadening material" on your floor. They use it in cars and music studios, it doesn't have to be foam, they sell rubber like mats now too.
There is a group of people next to the building I live that play absurdly loud music.
One day I was fed up and went to talk with them. I told them everyone in the building was fed up instead of just me, and now they don't play music anymore.
Success.
#4 is so powerful because although we think our identity is housed within our bodies.... the reality is our identities exist between us and the people we communicate with. This is some intense shit but once you really understand it you can transform yourself dramatically into who you want to be. You just need to commit to things publicly. The more public and the more brutally honest you are when making the commitment, the more binding it will be. You will be a different person literally the moment you make the commitment.
LOL...and I'm thinking that the "slightly unethical" parenthetical got more viewers than the same video without...
GetMeThere1 Well it is a video about persuasion.
clever....
GetMeThere1 Pussies afraid to admit its sin. we're inherently awful pathetic hippies
ha ha ha ha ha the lawyer worked for free so funny
matthew baugh A lot of lawyers want to help people and do want to do what is right.
This channel is so great,good videos and even sources in the description,good work
The Wulf Thanks Wulf :)
Recently got introduced to your channel.. great videos. Thank you.
4 doesn't work at all for politicians.
So true
Yep...
zenoist2 i
zenoist2 yep
I find the first tip the most useful. Giving before asking allows a positive relationship that goes both ways. Even if you can't give large amounts of items or give important favors giving something small is better then giving nothing at all.
when you find yourself in the majority, it's time to take a step back reflect, evaluate and may act differently. why should i be motivated to do something because other people do it this way? it works analog to "just because a lie is belived by millions of people, doesnt make it true". it may not be the right thing to do, quality > quantity. you also can even use the backfire technique to your advantage: "most people have a very narrow-minded view on drugs believing in prejudices, why don't you join them?" ;)
I remember reading that you can get more people to do things if you give a reason, even if the reason doesn't make it better to comply. "Let me go ahead of you at the copier" doesn''t work, but "let me go ahead of you at the copier because I need to make some copies" does. Even if the reason is utter nonsense, just stating it is often enough to change behavior: "let me go ahead of you at the copier because my dog is sick".
Now I'm going to start carrying around mints. Thanks.
this is all out of cialdini, love to see it told from somebody else`s perspective and understanding, great job!
The third one works differently for me. If I'm told lots of people do something my first thought is why
my first thought is that I should do something else.
I'm past that phase. I already have it in my subconscious mind everything that is useful that "everybody does", such as respecting the laws of physics and avoiding self-harm.
+chestbuster1987 Most people eat meat.
AIL Ⓥ most people drink water.
+chestbuster1987
Hehe, when I see that kind of thing, my instant reaction is "Well, sorry to tell you, but I despise herd mentality. Now get me a new towel, and if it's just for that poor attempt at manipulating me instead of using reason."
After watching 6 videos from your channel I finally subscribed. Very educational and not boring. Keep the videos coming!
if you liked this video, you should read the book in 59 seconds, by richard "quirkology" wiseman
Most intelectuals have read it, and so should you
haha that last sentence, well done. you know how to persuade people.
Roque Moreno Aguilar fuck, you got me with that sentence for a second.
Roque Moreno Aguilar Just started the video... Is coercion one of the 4? Haha
Roque Moreno Aguilar That persuasion tactic though!!!
You clearly learned a lot from this video :p
The trick of giving before you ask is something I figured out when I was a kid. The overjustification effect is also something I figured out but I have resolved it in my psyche to reflect my actual pay. Hence, if you pay me less then my output will be sub-par and not up to my potential. You pay me more and I will give back exactly what you pay me in terms of quality, efficiency, labor, and work. By making myself aware of this I made my bosses increase my pay to reflect my actual work potential. The message I set out to send was clear: You get what you pay for.
That condom is expired (4:42)
The is a big exception with "Give before you ask" is in business. These days you need to make sure you're compensated fairly for your work before you do it. A lot of people try to come in low with hopes of being raised up and are often disappointed. I've learned this one the hard way.
I was expecting this to be another click bait waste of time video, but this video was actually very informative.
Lol asking lawyers to do work for free
As a waiter, I would steal a mint, then go back for another mint. My mints increased by 2.
I find manipulation to be an extremely off-putting idea, so I make sure the person I'm persuading understands every aspect of what I'm doing to try to change their perspective. Manipulation is simply an exploitation of ignorance.
Number 5 - become a Jedi
Number 6 - Bribe them (probably the most common!)
He said in the video that giving people money can make them work less hard.
+Randombanana No, he said that money CAN make people work less hard than if you made them do something for free, with the explanation that the pleasure of doing the task simply outvalued the worth of the money that was offered. However, offer them A LOT of money and they'll feel like they are indebted to you, so with the right amount you can basicly make them do what you want.
Number 1 already covers bribery.
Careful, #1 amounts to bribery, but if the other party is aware of it then it will backfire massively! People like being treated with "extra kindness," but they don't like being bribed, even if the only difference is the mindset of the giver.
Great video, keep up the good work!
quaglemy Thanks quaglemy!
Bite Size Psych hi
+quaglemy Have you increased your use of condoms and stopped smoking yet?.....or did the subliminal pass though you?
“Most people our age are having sex, we should too."
Hippity hoppity, get off my property
This was really good!
Soul Proxy I'm glad you like it !
Bite Size Psych ok hi
Bite Size Psych im looking for the video of the dective brain versus the entertainer
Soul Proxy the Science of Persuasion
0:32
Ask idubbbz and he'll give you an entire playlist of his Kickstarter crap for your viewing pleasure
idubsz
Good video, I'm going to share this video with others
Number 1 is so true. I help my weed guy who’s also my coworker by giving him new customers. One night I needed some but didn’t have cash. He said “no prob just pay me back” Great success!
Used the first tip heavily especially in malls and big purchase. Before a big date, I eat at a restaurant on my own for a few days (I know I'm weird but this has the added bonus of you assessing if this is really the place you want to spend lunch or night with a special someone) and tip generously each time. On the time of my date, we get great service. Give before you ask :)
this guy makes the best videos ever
I just can't tell you how much I like your videos. They're really good!
I'd really like to hear Cartman from south park read us his tips on this subject, good video though o/
+Bite Size Psych You stole this straight from Dr. Robert Cialdini & Steve Martin's Secrets of Persuasion. Even the examples and case studies. Why didn't you at-least acknowledge them in the description.
Money is also impersonal and it doesn't feel like the person giving money is giving up as much as you are.
It's also about how much it means to the donator. For rich people time is often more precious. If you have the feeling that he sacrifices something for you, you'll be more willing to help independent of what it's actually worth.
I once was in between jobs and filled my time by volunteering for 8 months. I remember only working hard to prove my worth so I could earn some money, it worked, they hired me first vacancy that opened up. Once I got the job I worked harder to prove my worth for promotion and more money. Money drives the motivation.
On the other side, as manager I had many more volunteers come in, everyone was driven by wanting to get a job and get paid.
When it comes to the first one, you don't have to give things, emotional support/letting a person know you're there for them to talk to can be enough, especially if said unusually early in a friendship. This however cannot be done too soon as it will come off creepy, and it takes time because some people you'll have to tell them multiple times you're there. This works best for men talking to women, and is a very tricky yet useful skill.
These videos are great. Should totally have more views.
So, a few days ago, i was leaving a train, and there were an older couple with 2 grandchildren and some luggage, so i asked if they needed any help getting everything down. I helped, i gave the suitcases to the granddad and helped those kids down with a smile and all the "weeeeee" sounds you would do for kids. and after i finished i didn't even glimpse at the old man as he said thank you, i just turned around, said no problem, good bye and continued my way, so since that day i ask myself, why did i help them? i didn't seek their gratitude, i just wanted to finish the job i wanted to do. my guess is it was for myself, or maybe i was just cold so i did it as polite and fast as i could just so i could go. i reasoned, maybe that question doesn't need an answer as long as i am willing to help others, but i still wonder...
I think #4 is more of a subset of Motivating Personal Responsibility. Pointing out hypocrisy is one way to do this, but there are other ways like giving special responsibility for specific tasks or offering clear motivations for certain behaviors.
All very good and accurate points, but #4 could probably be expanded.
This is interesting in respect to a resource based economy.
Summary:
1) Give before you ask (power of reciprocity)
2) Money won't always work (rationalization->overjustification, appeal to values)
3) Use conformity (caveat descriptive and injunctive norm should match)
4) Point out hypocrisy (let commit publicly, people avoid become hypocrites)
your videos arz just really good ! Your way of talking and even your voice are so great ( personal opinion ) and I wish I could talk the same way someday ! Your content is very fruitful ! keep going and I am looking forward to watch more videos from your channel
I love this channel.
Your videos are really useful, haha. Would love to see more tricks, though.
something I like to use when persuading someone is painting a clear picture of what they should do and then play down how much work it is. Like if I want someone to pick something up from the supermarket I'd say something like: you just have to go in, get the thing, and get out.
great advise, just what i was looking for
Hi. Great Video. It seems like I read this info from this book called "The definitive book of body language" by Robert Pearce. Did you get the information in the video from the same book? Just Curios :)
All from Cialdini's 'Psychology of Persuasion'. Great info
I love the intro 😂 this is just a more classy version of the intros to cracking bike locks that says this is for when you have forgotten the code/key.
Still. Be nice, everyone. Most people are; don't be That Guy.
I learnt the opposite of number 1 from Bel Ami. If offered beforehand, it is a bribe -if after, it is a reward/thank you. Works for small favours..especially seeing as people like you more when you ask them for small favours.
I was fired because I refused to accept number 2 persuasion (work for other values instead of money). But that because the company failed to follow number 1 persuasion (give before ask), as the company just wanted work but was enable to fulfill the promesses it made.
Your videos are great Bite Size Psych! I cant predict the future(maybe you can do a video about this topic :P) but in the near future i do hope to see more people liking and subscribing to your channel. Thank you once again!
great videos. very descriptive and easy to usnderstand
If you ever give a public speech, make sure to leave what you want everyone to think or know till last, the last thing you say is the part that stays in everyone's mind afterwards
I got convinced, giving back to society - Summary: 1) Give before you ask (e.g. waiters giving 1 mint, then coming back and say to you nice people I am giving you an extra mint (increase 22% tips); 2) Money won’t always work (People rather volunteer their time, than be paid a “lower” wage, promote the idea of giving back to society); 3) Use conformity (Say that “Everyone else is doing it”, but you need to do it in a non-conflictual idea norms, don’t say “obesity is an epidemic, oppose the trend and eat healthy”, rather say 2 norms that match “more and more people are eating healthy, join the trend so we can reach 51%”; 4) Point out hypocrisy (make people say public statement so they commit to it “The use of condoms is important, I use them all the time”)
2:51 Al Gore: Screw the environment...I wanna fresh towel.
#3 is crazy! I am definitely going to try it, because if it is true, I have been working against myself this whole time!
I love this channel
Awesome work !
Wow!!! Your videos are so AWESOME!!! 👏👏👏👏😂😆👍
The fact that there is a science to this is nothing less than scary. In a world full of pros... Whoa
nice tips. love this channel
Interesting video, thank you.
Tip 1 is better used with care, and never on anyone even remotely important to you. That goes especially when you ASK for something.
On most people it works only once, and makes them jaded towards you. What's better, a 99% success chance on the first time and a 0.01% success rate every time after that, or a consistent success rate depending on the basic willingness of that person?
In fact, the amount of tips given is not a good example, since there is no asking involved. It is common to give tips, so you're already likely to get one, all you get is a bit more. Try bringing someone a cake and shortly after that, "coincidentally" ask that person to help painting the house. They'll never eat your cakes again, or even better, continue to take the cake but "coincidentally" have no time to help you out..
sometimes this feels like my secrete channel where I learn big secretes
This is from the book 'Predictbly Irrational'
Same is prevalent in school marks. As a student I have never been the best. I have always gotten b & c grades but never a grades. After having read 'The little black school book' by Dr Mark Lopez there were two main factors that contributed to a student's success. Firstly the schollary skills and success of students. The second was the markers impression of the student. The second aspect was evaluated to contribute on average a one grade difference between students who employed manipulation techniques to gain teacher favour and those who didn't. This is why some people say that attractiveness can influanced your hraids.So if you want to improve upon your grades it is advised that you create a phycological analysis in a section of you scrap book on the teacher or marker in your book. This should focus on the langauge used by the marker and the actions of the marker in reference to positive and negative feedback.Lastly if you can suduce your teacher, ;) he he he... Then you garentee success
This is wonderful.
Advice #5: Ask something big for them to do, then refute it or wait for them to refuse, then ask something that is smaller.
this video is a summary of the book "social animal" by Elliot Aronson
"slightly unethical" got me here. I know i got 'persuaded' myself by that title.
2:24 The black guy with glasses is one of the managers in FIFA 17 Ultimate Team.
Giving people rewards when they least expect it is another great way just don't over do and make sure failure don't go unnoticed either get be to kind tell them youre dissapointed in them that makes you feel like crap.
How to get something you want from ur mom
You: Mom do you love me very much?
Mom: Yes!
You: Do you love me so much you would get me this candy bag?
Mom: Ummmm ok...
Congrats you got a candy bag!
There's also another powerful persuasion that is overlooked. Flip the first tip and instead of give, accept a gift or ask for something simple. Psychologically people like you more after they give you something.
I hate that expression, "Giving back to society." No one who has worked hard to be successful (or even slightly above poor) needs to give back anything because they took nothing from society in the first place. A simple concept that many apparently don't get. When my father and the rest of us moved to America, it was a struggle. No one helped us except one charity. My father took their help and their money. A few years later, he repaid them for the money they gave him.
The only ones who need to give back to society are the ones who victimized its members. Muggers, thieves, rapists, etc. Those are the ones who took from society's members and continue to take from society. It costs money to lock them up. But beyond that, they get free food, free medical and dental care, free education to get their G.E.D., free courses to learn a money-making trade for when they get released from prison. *They* are the ones with an obligation to give back to society what they took.
When I donate to charity, I don't do it out of a sense that I owe society anything. I do it because I make promises to God above that I will. And I keep those promises.
I think you're looking at this the wrong way. For most people "giving back to society" means that they feel like they have taken something that society provides for granted, which in essence is a form of theft, and then donating their time or money to allow others to use it. For example a public park. Someone might think to themselves, "You know, I enjoy this park a lot, its beautiful and great place to relax and get away from the stress of daily life." Then they might reason to themselves, that much of its beauty comes from volunteers who donate their time to clean up trash and keep the paths orderly. He then might decide to join them in order to maintain the beauty and serenity of the park. This man hasn't taken anything from society, he is not a criminal, and yet he chooses to use time he could have put into advancing his own self interests into aiding the upkeep of something he wants other people to enjoy. That's what giving back to society is. Giving the people in a society something for all that society has given you and not expecting a physical reward. If you have ever head of "pay it forward" its similar to that. Society helps you, you help society. If you take advantage of something society provides for you, whether it be a park, roads, education, child care, ect you give back by aiding those things so others in society can use them just as you did.
Sjwn123
Honestly, I think people trying to guilt others into donating look at it the wrong way. Now I can understand wanting to get others to donate to a noble cause. But this whole concept that decent, hard-working people somehow took from others, and thus need to "Give Back To Society" is quite frankly, an insane concept. It's a notion that only a lunatic in a mental asylum would think up. And yet, it has become widespread.
Let me clarify..... If someone individually feels that they've gotten help from society in general to become successful, and they themselves feel a desire to "Give Back," okay; that's one thing. But this notion is parroted by people who feel that somehow, hard-working people have taken from Society and that *those* people need to "Give Back." And when that concept is applied in that way, it is an idea that should only exist in the minds of mentally disturbed individuals who sit in padded rooms while wearing straight-jackets.
The fact that such a notion has become common place with regards to how people look at others..... that is truly disturbing.
this perfect most family members. they think cus your family they expext to take. but not give. thats why so much family dispute happen.
can you explain why I tap out the subscription icon?
0:52 - 1:04 DO you know something called altruism or simply solidarity?
The uncomfortable feeling when your beliefs and actions don't match is called "cognitive dissonance"
very interesting video, thanks!
1. Give before you ask
2. Money won't always work
3. Use conformity
4. Point out hypocricy
5:08
That'll be $5, you're welcome
Apple's debut commercial was against conformity. These are great in most situations. But sometimes the right thing to do will vary depending on the context.
There are a few people I know who are too aware, or too unaware to use these on, my father, for example, will lash out in defensiveness if you point out his hypocricy
Hey how do you make your videos?
anyone knows another great channel like this?
As a student with no finances, how can I get crowd funding from sites like GoFundMe?
what is the music throughout most of the video?
People just prefer doing something for free instead of for a low price. In both occasions the person giving you the offer is trying to be nice. But in the case of the cheap offer the receiver will think of it as a bargain instead of an act of kindness and will not appreciate the act. The emotional reward for doing something nice for someone is not met in that case.
I have been binge watching this channel and it reflects my logical actions and persuasions with others so much! Also was this video based of the novel, Influence?
2:03 or maybe cause they want to work hard enough to earn a salary
Love this channel already, when I saw tip #4 I immediately thought "cognitive dissonance"
this implication of reciprocity was given by a man 2000 years ago .. but most will just cuss at Him or just insult me for my belief ..