Lessons learned: 1) Always deny assistance to someone after receiving a gift from them. 2) Always ask to be compensated for your time, effort, or resources. 3) If 'everyone does something', figure out why you don't, and do whatever works for you. 4) Don't be afraid to change your ideas, or publicly retract statements.
When I volunteer, I feel rewarded already. People like volunteering, we like making the world a better place. Not only don't I ask for compensation for my efforts from NGOs I volunteer at - I donate to them. That is, when I feel they are doing a good job. Those NGOs which I consider inefficient - I don't volunteer not donate to.
Idk, are you complaining about clickbait? Because then you got tricked to learn a bit of basic human psychology, which will likely be useful to you if you didn't know this stuff already. I'd say that's a good deal. Also, these are in fact *slightly* unethical: making someone commit to something and then making them feel bad if they don't stay true to that commitment, making someone feel bad for being different than the rest (or rather that they should do what everybody else does), giving something to someone just so that feel like they HAVE to give back somehow. These are, I'm fact, slightly unethical, so you are just nitpicking.
There is one tactic that never fails. A hobo near my neighborehood used to ask for change with little to no success. He now does it at gun point. Funny thing is that he doesn't only gets change, but wallets, and watches too.
krrrruptidsoless actually that's kinda my version of it basically summing it up a lil better this is the real quote "You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
There is a group of people next to the building I live that play absurdly loud music. One day I was fed up and went to talk with them. I told them everyone in the building was fed up instead of just me, and now they don't play music anymore. Success.
I think this is sound advice. I ended up here because I'm thinking of how to deal with a situation: I've recently moved into an apartment in which I live above a family with a 4 year old child. Prior to this, I lived in a home (I owned) and had no worries about the level at which I played my sound system when listening to music or watching films. Now I'm aware of the fact that I'm right above these people (with their child) and I don't want to be a bad neighbor - but, at the same time, I greatly love my down time and the time I spend watching music videos, watching films, and listening to music on my home theater system. In short, I want to listen to my content as loudly (and as late) as I can without seriously disturbing or bothering my downstairs neighbors. They've just moved in, and, so far, I have a positive dialogue with them. They seem friendly. This video made me think that leaving a bottle of nice champagne or cava on their doorstep with a "welcome" note, might put me in their good graces so that I can express my desire not to bother them, but also forewarn them that I enjoy my home theater system. I don't want them to suffer or put up with a disturbance, but, at the same time, I'm hoping that they won't be hyper-sensitive. Does anyone here have any suggestions on how to help me respect my neighbors but also enjoy my audio (and yes, I have headphones, but there are times I can't - and don't want to - go that route.)
Berus7777 . I have some headphones with digital surround, only $170, they are better than any movie theater sound system I've heard. Look into headphones. If you have the cash you can also put down "sound deadening material" on your floor. They use it in cars and music studios, it doesn't have to be foam, they sell rubber like mats now too.
when you find yourself in the majority, it's time to take a step back reflect, evaluate and may act differently. why should i be motivated to do something because other people do it this way? it works analog to "just because a lie is belived by millions of people, doesnt make it true". it may not be the right thing to do, quality > quantity. you also can even use the backfire technique to your advantage: "most people have a very narrow-minded view on drugs believing in prejudices, why don't you join them?" ;)
#4 is so powerful because although we think our identity is housed within our bodies.... the reality is our identities exist between us and the people we communicate with. This is some intense shit but once you really understand it you can transform yourself dramatically into who you want to be. You just need to commit to things publicly. The more public and the more brutally honest you are when making the commitment, the more binding it will be. You will be a different person literally the moment you make the commitment.
I remember reading that you can get more people to do things if you give a reason, even if the reason doesn't make it better to comply. "Let me go ahead of you at the copier" doesn''t work, but "let me go ahead of you at the copier because I need to make some copies" does. Even if the reason is utter nonsense, just stating it is often enough to change behavior: "let me go ahead of you at the copier because my dog is sick".
I'm past that phase. I already have it in my subconscious mind everything that is useful that "everybody does", such as respecting the laws of physics and avoiding self-harm.
+chestbuster1987 Hehe, when I see that kind of thing, my instant reaction is "Well, sorry to tell you, but I despise herd mentality. Now get me a new towel, and if it's just for that poor attempt at manipulating me instead of using reason."
I find the first tip the most useful. Giving before asking allows a positive relationship that goes both ways. Even if you can't give large amounts of items or give important favors giving something small is better then giving nothing at all.
I find manipulation to be an extremely off-putting idea, so I make sure the person I'm persuading understands every aspect of what I'm doing to try to change their perspective. Manipulation is simply an exploitation of ignorance.
+Bite Size Psych You stole this straight from Dr. Robert Cialdini & Steve Martin's Secrets of Persuasion. Even the examples and case studies. Why didn't you at-least acknowledge them in the description.
The trick of giving before you ask is something I figured out when I was a kid. The overjustification effect is also something I figured out but I have resolved it in my psyche to reflect my actual pay. Hence, if you pay me less then my output will be sub-par and not up to my potential. You pay me more and I will give back exactly what you pay me in terms of quality, efficiency, labor, and work. By making myself aware of this I made my bosses increase my pay to reflect my actual work potential. The message I set out to send was clear: You get what you pay for.
It's also about how much it means to the donator. For rich people time is often more precious. If you have the feeling that he sacrifices something for you, you'll be more willing to help independent of what it's actually worth.
I once was in between jobs and filled my time by volunteering for 8 months. I remember only working hard to prove my worth so I could earn some money, it worked, they hired me first vacancy that opened up. Once I got the job I worked harder to prove my worth for promotion and more money. Money drives the motivation. On the other side, as manager I had many more volunteers come in, everyone was driven by wanting to get a job and get paid.
+Randombanana No, he said that money CAN make people work less hard than if you made them do something for free, with the explanation that the pleasure of doing the task simply outvalued the worth of the money that was offered. However, offer them A LOT of money and they'll feel like they are indebted to you, so with the right amount you can basicly make them do what you want.
Careful, #1 amounts to bribery, but if the other party is aware of it then it will backfire massively! People like being treated with "extra kindness," but they don't like being bribed, even if the only difference is the mindset of the giver.
The is a big exception with "Give before you ask" is in business. These days you need to make sure you're compensated fairly for your work before you do it. A lot of people try to come in low with hopes of being raised up and are often disappointed. I've learned this one the hard way.
I hate that expression, "Giving back to society." No one who has worked hard to be successful (or even slightly above poor) needs to give back anything because they took nothing from society in the first place. A simple concept that many apparently don't get. When my father and the rest of us moved to America, it was a struggle. No one helped us except one charity. My father took their help and their money. A few years later, he repaid them for the money they gave him. The only ones who need to give back to society are the ones who victimized its members. Muggers, thieves, rapists, etc. Those are the ones who took from society's members and continue to take from society. It costs money to lock them up. But beyond that, they get free food, free medical and dental care, free education to get their G.E.D., free courses to learn a money-making trade for when they get released from prison. *They* are the ones with an obligation to give back to society what they took. When I donate to charity, I don't do it out of a sense that I owe society anything. I do it because I make promises to God above that I will. And I keep those promises.
I think you're looking at this the wrong way. For most people "giving back to society" means that they feel like they have taken something that society provides for granted, which in essence is a form of theft, and then donating their time or money to allow others to use it. For example a public park. Someone might think to themselves, "You know, I enjoy this park a lot, its beautiful and great place to relax and get away from the stress of daily life." Then they might reason to themselves, that much of its beauty comes from volunteers who donate their time to clean up trash and keep the paths orderly. He then might decide to join them in order to maintain the beauty and serenity of the park. This man hasn't taken anything from society, he is not a criminal, and yet he chooses to use time he could have put into advancing his own self interests into aiding the upkeep of something he wants other people to enjoy. That's what giving back to society is. Giving the people in a society something for all that society has given you and not expecting a physical reward. If you have ever head of "pay it forward" its similar to that. Society helps you, you help society. If you take advantage of something society provides for you, whether it be a park, roads, education, child care, ect you give back by aiding those things so others in society can use them just as you did.
Sjwn123 Honestly, I think people trying to guilt others into donating look at it the wrong way. Now I can understand wanting to get others to donate to a noble cause. But this whole concept that decent, hard-working people somehow took from others, and thus need to "Give Back To Society" is quite frankly, an insane concept. It's a notion that only a lunatic in a mental asylum would think up. And yet, it has become widespread. Let me clarify..... If someone individually feels that they've gotten help from society in general to become successful, and they themselves feel a desire to "Give Back," okay; that's one thing. But this notion is parroted by people who feel that somehow, hard-working people have taken from Society and that *those* people need to "Give Back." And when that concept is applied in that way, it is an idea that should only exist in the minds of mentally disturbed individuals who sit in padded rooms while wearing straight-jackets. The fact that such a notion has become common place with regards to how people look at others..... that is truly disturbing.
So, a few days ago, i was leaving a train, and there were an older couple with 2 grandchildren and some luggage, so i asked if they needed any help getting everything down. I helped, i gave the suitcases to the granddad and helped those kids down with a smile and all the "weeeeee" sounds you would do for kids. and after i finished i didn't even glimpse at the old man as he said thank you, i just turned around, said no problem, good bye and continued my way, so since that day i ask myself, why did i help them? i didn't seek their gratitude, i just wanted to finish the job i wanted to do. my guess is it was for myself, or maybe i was just cold so i did it as polite and fast as i could just so i could go. i reasoned, maybe that question doesn't need an answer as long as i am willing to help others, but i still wonder...
I love the intro 😂 this is just a more classy version of the intros to cracking bike locks that says this is for when you have forgotten the code/key. Still. Be nice, everyone. Most people are; don't be That Guy.
Summary: 1) Give before you ask (power of reciprocity) 2) Money won't always work (rationalization->overjustification, appeal to values) 3) Use conformity (caveat descriptive and injunctive norm should match) 4) Point out hypocrisy (let commit publicly, people avoid become hypocrites)
I was fired because I refused to accept number 2 persuasion (work for other values instead of money). But that because the company failed to follow number 1 persuasion (give before ask), as the company just wanted work but was enable to fulfill the promesses it made.
Used the first tip heavily especially in malls and big purchase. Before a big date, I eat at a restaurant on my own for a few days (I know I'm weird but this has the added bonus of you assessing if this is really the place you want to spend lunch or night with a special someone) and tip generously each time. On the time of my date, we get great service. Give before you ask :)
Giving people rewards when they least expect it is another great way just don't over do and make sure failure don't go unnoticed either get be to kind tell them youre dissapointed in them that makes you feel like crap.
There are a few people I know who are too aware, or too unaware to use these on, my father, for example, will lash out in defensiveness if you point out his hypocricy
I learnt the opposite of number 1 from Bel Ami. If offered beforehand, it is a bribe -if after, it is a reward/thank you. Works for small favours..especially seeing as people like you more when you ask them for small favours.
If you ever give a public speech, make sure to leave what you want everyone to think or know till last, the last thing you say is the part that stays in everyone's mind afterwards
I think #4 is more of a subset of Motivating Personal Responsibility. Pointing out hypocrisy is one way to do this, but there are other ways like giving special responsibility for specific tasks or offering clear motivations for certain behaviors. All very good and accurate points, but #4 could probably be expanded.
I got convinced, giving back to society - Summary: 1) Give before you ask (e.g. waiters giving 1 mint, then coming back and say to you nice people I am giving you an extra mint (increase 22% tips); 2) Money won’t always work (People rather volunteer their time, than be paid a “lower” wage, promote the idea of giving back to society); 3) Use conformity (Say that “Everyone else is doing it”, but you need to do it in a non-conflictual idea norms, don’t say “obesity is an epidemic, oppose the trend and eat healthy”, rather say 2 norms that match “more and more people are eating healthy, join the trend so we can reach 51%”; 4) Point out hypocrisy (make people say public statement so they commit to it “The use of condoms is important, I use them all the time”)
When it comes to the first one, you don't have to give things, emotional support/letting a person know you're there for them to talk to can be enough, especially if said unusually early in a friendship. This however cannot be done too soon as it will come off creepy, and it takes time because some people you'll have to tell them multiple times you're there. This works best for men talking to women, and is a very tricky yet useful skill.
Tip 1 is better used with care, and never on anyone even remotely important to you. That goes especially when you ASK for something. On most people it works only once, and makes them jaded towards you. What's better, a 99% success chance on the first time and a 0.01% success rate every time after that, or a consistent success rate depending on the basic willingness of that person? In fact, the amount of tips given is not a good example, since there is no asking involved. It is common to give tips, so you're already likely to get one, all you get is a bit more. Try bringing someone a cake and shortly after that, "coincidentally" ask that person to help painting the house. They'll never eat your cakes again, or even better, continue to take the cake but "coincidentally" have no time to help you out..
Using hypocrisy in an argument is actually a logical fallacy. A claim is true or not true regardless of who is making the claim. Yes, people will vehemently despise being called a hypocrite, but personally, I don't care about being a hypocrite because I've seen through such argumentation. Such claims are meaningless to me, you'd be committing a red herring fallacy for an ad hominem attack.
Although a claim may be true regardless of who is claiming it, you can convince said person otherwise. An easy way to win an argument is to have someone end up arguing with themselves. Also, I think the point in #4 was to just highlight inconsistencies that people have within themselves, and their need to smooth out those
something I like to use when persuading someone is painting a clear picture of what they should do and then play down how much work it is. Like if I want someone to pick something up from the supermarket I'd say something like: you just have to go in, get the thing, and get out.
Same is prevalent in school marks. As a student I have never been the best. I have always gotten b & c grades but never a grades. After having read 'The little black school book' by Dr Mark Lopez there were two main factors that contributed to a student's success. Firstly the schollary skills and success of students. The second was the markers impression of the student. The second aspect was evaluated to contribute on average a one grade difference between students who employed manipulation techniques to gain teacher favour and those who didn't. This is why some people say that attractiveness can influanced your hraids.So if you want to improve upon your grades it is advised that you create a phycological analysis in a section of you scrap book on the teacher or marker in your book. This should focus on the langauge used by the marker and the actions of the marker in reference to positive and negative feedback.Lastly if you can suduce your teacher, ;) he he he... Then you garentee success
Number 1 is so true. I help my weed guy who’s also my coworker by giving him new customers. One night I needed some but didn’t have cash. He said “no prob just pay me back” Great success!
your videos arz just really good ! Your way of talking and even your voice are so great ( personal opinion ) and I wish I could talk the same way someday ! Your content is very fruitful ! keep going and I am looking forward to watch more videos from your channel
The first 3 seem like they can be abused. Example: 1. If you give a small gift or help out a person they might feel obligated to do more for you. 2. You can trick a person into thinking they are a good samaritan by having them volunteer for something rather than paying them. 3. Conformity - "everyone else is doing it, so should you"
Apple's debut commercial was against conformity. These are great in most situations. But sometimes the right thing to do will vary depending on the context.
There's some truth in the paying thing. I've found the more I pay handymen, gardeners etc more if I think they've gone above and beyond, the less likely they are to show up next time they're needed. Weird.
People just prefer doing something for free instead of for a low price. In both occasions the person giving you the offer is trying to be nice. But in the case of the cheap offer the receiver will think of it as a bargain instead of an act of kindness and will not appreciate the act. The emotional reward for doing something nice for someone is not met in that case.
I highly doubt this works. When I do something for free I know I'm doing it because I have to (i.e. service hours or internship), not because I want to help or I like the person. Not because I enjoy it, but because I have to and if I don't then it would cause an unfavorable response from the public.
the video mentioned money specifically but said in more words that when someone is doing something without a clear reason (money internship etc.) then they tend to assume it's for enjoyment. there's something powerful about not HAVING to be somewhere that makes them more likely to want to be there.
Hi. Great Video. It seems like I read this info from this book called "The definitive book of body language" by Robert Pearce. Did you get the information in the video from the same book? Just Curios :)
Your videos are great Bite Size Psych! I cant predict the future(maybe you can do a video about this topic :P) but in the near future i do hope to see more people liking and subscribing to your channel. Thank you once again!
Don’t forget to give “thank you’s!” There may future roads to cross. Send a stinking card after graduation, wedding, birth of baby….. speaks volumes about your character
There's also another powerful persuasion that is overlooked. Flip the first tip and instead of give, accept a gift or ask for something simple. Psychologically people like you more after they give you something.
I have been binge watching this channel and it reflects my logical actions and persuasions with others so much! Also was this video based of the novel, Influence?
Hate being something does not mean you aren't it. Ask _anyone_ if they're a hypocrit (or racist, or stupid). 100% will say no. If you live in a world, where hypocrites, racists and stupid people exist, then that means people are not selfaware enough and/or don't like being those things. QED
1) Common courtesy 2) You need to be stupid 3) I steal hotel towels so screw it. 4) I make it a point to smile and be nice to people I detest. I do it for other reasons such as courtesy but of you call it hypocrisy I would not call you wrong. I will keep my hypocrisy thank you.
I do not necessarily agree with #2. When I offer free English or other form of tuition in a developing country, the students, who are invariably poor, often fail to show or show on time. When I take money, even if it's a pittance, they turn up on time. Perhaps this is just a custom in Vietnam, but there you have it.
Lessons learned:
1) Always deny assistance to someone after receiving a gift from them.
2) Always ask to be compensated for your time, effort, or resources.
3) If 'everyone does something', figure out why you don't, and do whatever works for you.
4) Don't be afraid to change your ideas, or publicly retract statements.
+Firstname Lastname Reading this actually concerns me, not because these are "lessons learned", but because this sounds exactly like politicians.
+Firstname Lastname Can also refuse gifts. People who gift for no clear reason usually have a hidden reason for it.
First and last is a contrarian, very good!......or very bad as he would see it.
sqdtnz not everyone
When I volunteer, I feel rewarded already.
People like volunteering, we like making the world a better place.
Not only don't I ask for compensation for my efforts from NGOs I volunteer at - I donate to them.
That is, when I feel they are doing a good job.
Those NGOs which I consider inefficient - I don't volunteer not donate to.
You didn't mention the trick you used to attract viewers, i.e slightly unethical.
What did he use? :o
+Lucaria clickbait
Idk, are you complaining about clickbait? Because then you got tricked to learn a bit of basic human psychology, which will likely be useful to you if you didn't know this stuff already. I'd say that's a good deal. Also, these are in fact *slightly* unethical: making someone commit to something and then making them feel bad if they don't stay true to that commitment, making someone feel bad for being different than the rest (or rather that they should do what everybody else does), giving something to someone just so that feel like they HAVE to give back somehow. These are, I'm fact, slightly unethical, so you are just nitpicking.
+Steven Path What?
Soles Clickbait
There is one tactic that never fails.
A hobo near my neighborehood used to ask for change with little to no success.
He now does it at gun point. Funny thing is that he doesn't only gets change, but wallets, and watches too.
+YoungD3mon314 And your gun to it, apparently.
#livingthedream
When there's a will there's a way.
Juan Carlos Rodriguez c wut u did
LMAO Juan Carlos Rodriguez...true!
Going to carry round a pocket of mints now
The Channel of Stuff Also works with gum. Just make sure you pop one yourself before offering or they'll get self conscious about their breath.
The Channel of Stuff 😂😂😂
The Channel of Stuff lol no lie so was I lmao
krrrruptidsoless I didn't like for the bottom of your comment.
another thing that helps is a reward system. For example, returning their first born child only if they comply
Chase Lanier You can stretch that out for a couple of months by only returing a severed finger or toe each week!
Vicvic W My mom is pregnant lol.
4 doesn't work at all for politicians.
So true
Yep...
zenoist2 i
zenoist2 yep
"People hate being hypocrites. This is something we can EXPLOIT"
LOL...and I'm thinking that the "slightly unethical" parenthetical got more viewers than the same video without...
GetMeThere1 Well it is a video about persuasion.
clever....
GetMeThere1 Pussies afraid to admit its sin. we're inherently awful pathetic hippies
Al Capone once said it's better to ask nicely with a gun pointed to someones head rather than asking nicely.
Do you have documentation or just a movie script that he said that.
krrrruptidsoless actually that's kinda my version of it basically summing it up a lil better this is the real quote "You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
This channel is so great,good videos and even sources in the description,good work
The Wulf Thanks Wulf :)
Recently got introduced to your channel.. great videos. Thank you.
There is a group of people next to the building I live that play absurdly loud music.
One day I was fed up and went to talk with them. I told them everyone in the building was fed up instead of just me, and now they don't play music anymore.
Success.
I think this is sound advice. I ended up here because I'm thinking of how to deal with a situation: I've recently moved into an apartment in which I live above a family with a 4 year old child. Prior to this, I lived in a home (I owned) and had no worries about the level at which I played my sound system when listening to music or watching films. Now I'm aware of the fact that I'm right above these people (with their child) and I don't want to be a bad neighbor - but, at the same time, I greatly love my down time and the time I spend watching music videos, watching films, and listening to music on my home theater system. In short, I want to listen to my content as loudly (and as late) as I can without seriously disturbing or bothering my downstairs neighbors. They've just moved in, and, so far, I have a positive dialogue with them. They seem friendly. This video made me think that leaving a bottle of nice champagne or cava on their doorstep with a "welcome" note, might put me in their good graces so that I can express my desire not to bother them, but also forewarn them that I enjoy my home theater system. I don't want them to suffer or put up with a disturbance, but, at the same time, I'm hoping that they won't be hyper-sensitive. Does anyone here have any suggestions on how to help me respect my neighbors but also enjoy my audio (and yes, I have headphones, but there are times I can't - and don't want to - go that route.)
Berus7777 You shouldn't listen to your audio late, if the insulation is not good enough.
My advice is switch to headphones at night. During the day use the sound system.
Berus7777 .
I have some headphones with digital surround, only $170, they are better than any movie theater sound system I've heard. Look into headphones.
If you have the cash you can also put down "sound deadening material" on your floor. They use it in cars and music studios, it doesn't have to be foam, they sell rubber like mats now too.
ha ha ha ha ha the lawyer worked for free so funny
matthew baugh A lot of lawyers want to help people and do want to do what is right.
when you find yourself in the majority, it's time to take a step back reflect, evaluate and may act differently. why should i be motivated to do something because other people do it this way? it works analog to "just because a lie is belived by millions of people, doesnt make it true". it may not be the right thing to do, quality > quantity. you also can even use the backfire technique to your advantage: "most people have a very narrow-minded view on drugs believing in prejudices, why don't you join them?" ;)
#4 is so powerful because although we think our identity is housed within our bodies.... the reality is our identities exist between us and the people we communicate with. This is some intense shit but once you really understand it you can transform yourself dramatically into who you want to be. You just need to commit to things publicly. The more public and the more brutally honest you are when making the commitment, the more binding it will be. You will be a different person literally the moment you make the commitment.
I remember reading that you can get more people to do things if you give a reason, even if the reason doesn't make it better to comply. "Let me go ahead of you at the copier" doesn''t work, but "let me go ahead of you at the copier because I need to make some copies" does. Even if the reason is utter nonsense, just stating it is often enough to change behavior: "let me go ahead of you at the copier because my dog is sick".
0:32
Ask idubbbz and he'll give you an entire playlist of his Kickstarter crap for your viewing pleasure
idubsz
The third one works differently for me. If I'm told lots of people do something my first thought is why
my first thought is that I should do something else.
I'm past that phase. I already have it in my subconscious mind everything that is useful that "everybody does", such as respecting the laws of physics and avoiding self-harm.
+chestbuster1987 Most people eat meat.
AIL Ⓥ most people drink water.
+chestbuster1987
Hehe, when I see that kind of thing, my instant reaction is "Well, sorry to tell you, but I despise herd mentality. Now get me a new towel, and if it's just for that poor attempt at manipulating me instead of using reason."
I find the first tip the most useful. Giving before asking allows a positive relationship that goes both ways. Even if you can't give large amounts of items or give important favors giving something small is better then giving nothing at all.
“Most people our age are having sex, we should too."
Hippity hoppity, get off my property
if you liked this video, you should read the book in 59 seconds, by richard "quirkology" wiseman
Most intelectuals have read it, and so should you
haha that last sentence, well done. you know how to persuade people.
Roque Moreno Aguilar fuck, you got me with that sentence for a second.
Roque Moreno Aguilar Just started the video... Is coercion one of the 4? Haha
Roque Moreno Aguilar That persuasion tactic though!!!
You clearly learned a lot from this video :p
I find manipulation to be an extremely off-putting idea, so I make sure the person I'm persuading understands every aspect of what I'm doing to try to change their perspective. Manipulation is simply an exploitation of ignorance.
+Bite Size Psych You stole this straight from Dr. Robert Cialdini & Steve Martin's Secrets of Persuasion. Even the examples and case studies. Why didn't you at-least acknowledge them in the description.
The trick of giving before you ask is something I figured out when I was a kid. The overjustification effect is also something I figured out but I have resolved it in my psyche to reflect my actual pay. Hence, if you pay me less then my output will be sub-par and not up to my potential. You pay me more and I will give back exactly what you pay me in terms of quality, efficiency, labor, and work. By making myself aware of this I made my bosses increase my pay to reflect my actual work potential. The message I set out to send was clear: You get what you pay for.
That condom is expired (4:42)
Money is also impersonal and it doesn't feel like the person giving money is giving up as much as you are.
It's also about how much it means to the donator. For rich people time is often more precious. If you have the feeling that he sacrifices something for you, you'll be more willing to help independent of what it's actually worth.
I once was in between jobs and filled my time by volunteering for 8 months. I remember only working hard to prove my worth so I could earn some money, it worked, they hired me first vacancy that opened up. Once I got the job I worked harder to prove my worth for promotion and more money. Money drives the motivation.
On the other side, as manager I had many more volunteers come in, everyone was driven by wanting to get a job and get paid.
Now I'm going to start carrying around mints. Thanks.
Number 5 - become a Jedi
Number 6 - Bribe them (probably the most common!)
He said in the video that giving people money can make them work less hard.
+Randombanana No, he said that money CAN make people work less hard than if you made them do something for free, with the explanation that the pleasure of doing the task simply outvalued the worth of the money that was offered. However, offer them A LOT of money and they'll feel like they are indebted to you, so with the right amount you can basicly make them do what you want.
Number 1 already covers bribery.
Careful, #1 amounts to bribery, but if the other party is aware of it then it will backfire massively! People like being treated with "extra kindness," but they don't like being bribed, even if the only difference is the mindset of the giver.
The is a big exception with "Give before you ask" is in business. These days you need to make sure you're compensated fairly for your work before you do it. A lot of people try to come in low with hopes of being raised up and are often disappointed. I've learned this one the hard way.
I'd really like to hear Cartman from south park read us his tips on this subject, good video though o/
I hate that expression, "Giving back to society." No one who has worked hard to be successful (or even slightly above poor) needs to give back anything because they took nothing from society in the first place. A simple concept that many apparently don't get. When my father and the rest of us moved to America, it was a struggle. No one helped us except one charity. My father took their help and their money. A few years later, he repaid them for the money they gave him.
The only ones who need to give back to society are the ones who victimized its members. Muggers, thieves, rapists, etc. Those are the ones who took from society's members and continue to take from society. It costs money to lock them up. But beyond that, they get free food, free medical and dental care, free education to get their G.E.D., free courses to learn a money-making trade for when they get released from prison. *They* are the ones with an obligation to give back to society what they took.
When I donate to charity, I don't do it out of a sense that I owe society anything. I do it because I make promises to God above that I will. And I keep those promises.
I think you're looking at this the wrong way. For most people "giving back to society" means that they feel like they have taken something that society provides for granted, which in essence is a form of theft, and then donating their time or money to allow others to use it. For example a public park. Someone might think to themselves, "You know, I enjoy this park a lot, its beautiful and great place to relax and get away from the stress of daily life." Then they might reason to themselves, that much of its beauty comes from volunteers who donate their time to clean up trash and keep the paths orderly. He then might decide to join them in order to maintain the beauty and serenity of the park. This man hasn't taken anything from society, he is not a criminal, and yet he chooses to use time he could have put into advancing his own self interests into aiding the upkeep of something he wants other people to enjoy. That's what giving back to society is. Giving the people in a society something for all that society has given you and not expecting a physical reward. If you have ever head of "pay it forward" its similar to that. Society helps you, you help society. If you take advantage of something society provides for you, whether it be a park, roads, education, child care, ect you give back by aiding those things so others in society can use them just as you did.
Sjwn123
Honestly, I think people trying to guilt others into donating look at it the wrong way. Now I can understand wanting to get others to donate to a noble cause. But this whole concept that decent, hard-working people somehow took from others, and thus need to "Give Back To Society" is quite frankly, an insane concept. It's a notion that only a lunatic in a mental asylum would think up. And yet, it has become widespread.
Let me clarify..... If someone individually feels that they've gotten help from society in general to become successful, and they themselves feel a desire to "Give Back," okay; that's one thing. But this notion is parroted by people who feel that somehow, hard-working people have taken from Society and that *those* people need to "Give Back." And when that concept is applied in that way, it is an idea that should only exist in the minds of mentally disturbed individuals who sit in padded rooms while wearing straight-jackets.
The fact that such a notion has become common place with regards to how people look at others..... that is truly disturbing.
this perfect most family members. they think cus your family they expext to take. but not give. thats why so much family dispute happen.
So, a few days ago, i was leaving a train, and there were an older couple with 2 grandchildren and some luggage, so i asked if they needed any help getting everything down. I helped, i gave the suitcases to the granddad and helped those kids down with a smile and all the "weeeeee" sounds you would do for kids. and after i finished i didn't even glimpse at the old man as he said thank you, i just turned around, said no problem, good bye and continued my way, so since that day i ask myself, why did i help them? i didn't seek their gratitude, i just wanted to finish the job i wanted to do. my guess is it was for myself, or maybe i was just cold so i did it as polite and fast as i could just so i could go. i reasoned, maybe that question doesn't need an answer as long as i am willing to help others, but i still wonder...
this is all out of cialdini, love to see it told from somebody else`s perspective and understanding, great job!
As a waiter, I would steal a mint, then go back for another mint. My mints increased by 2.
I love the intro 😂 this is just a more classy version of the intros to cracking bike locks that says this is for when you have forgotten the code/key.
Still. Be nice, everyone. Most people are; don't be That Guy.
This is interesting in respect to a resource based economy.
Good video, I'm going to share this video with others
Summary:
1) Give before you ask (power of reciprocity)
2) Money won't always work (rationalization->overjustification, appeal to values)
3) Use conformity (caveat descriptive and injunctive norm should match)
4) Point out hypocrisy (let commit publicly, people avoid become hypocrites)
This was really good!
Soul Proxy I'm glad you like it !
Bite Size Psych ok hi
Bite Size Psych im looking for the video of the dective brain versus the entertainer
Soul Proxy the Science of Persuasion
I was fired because I refused to accept number 2 persuasion (work for other values instead of money). But that because the company failed to follow number 1 persuasion (give before ask), as the company just wanted work but was enable to fulfill the promesses it made.
Lol asking lawyers to do work for free
this video is a summary of the book "social animal" by Elliot Aronson
I was expecting this to be another click bait waste of time video, but this video was actually very informative.
this was in a video called the science of persuasion........................................................................
Used the first tip heavily especially in malls and big purchase. Before a big date, I eat at a restaurant on my own for a few days (I know I'm weird but this has the added bonus of you assessing if this is really the place you want to spend lunch or night with a special someone) and tip generously each time. On the time of my date, we get great service. Give before you ask :)
Giving people rewards when they least expect it is another great way just don't over do and make sure failure don't go unnoticed either get be to kind tell them youre dissapointed in them that makes you feel like crap.
There are a few people I know who are too aware, or too unaware to use these on, my father, for example, will lash out in defensiveness if you point out his hypocricy
This is from the book 'Predictbly Irrational'
Great video, keep up the good work!
quaglemy Thanks quaglemy!
Bite Size Psych hi
+quaglemy Have you increased your use of condoms and stopped smoking yet?.....or did the subliminal pass though you?
After watching 6 videos from your channel I finally subscribed. Very educational and not boring. Keep the videos coming!
I learnt the opposite of number 1 from Bel Ami. If offered beforehand, it is a bribe -if after, it is a reward/thank you. Works for small favours..especially seeing as people like you more when you ask them for small favours.
If you ever give a public speech, make sure to leave what you want everyone to think or know till last, the last thing you say is the part that stays in everyone's mind afterwards
I think #4 is more of a subset of Motivating Personal Responsibility. Pointing out hypocrisy is one way to do this, but there are other ways like giving special responsibility for specific tasks or offering clear motivations for certain behaviors.
All very good and accurate points, but #4 could probably be expanded.
I got convinced, giving back to society - Summary: 1) Give before you ask (e.g. waiters giving 1 mint, then coming back and say to you nice people I am giving you an extra mint (increase 22% tips); 2) Money won’t always work (People rather volunteer their time, than be paid a “lower” wage, promote the idea of giving back to society); 3) Use conformity (Say that “Everyone else is doing it”, but you need to do it in a non-conflictual idea norms, don’t say “obesity is an epidemic, oppose the trend and eat healthy”, rather say 2 norms that match “more and more people are eating healthy, join the trend so we can reach 51%”; 4) Point out hypocrisy (make people say public statement so they commit to it “The use of condoms is important, I use them all the time”)
When it comes to the first one, you don't have to give things, emotional support/letting a person know you're there for them to talk to can be enough, especially if said unusually early in a friendship. This however cannot be done too soon as it will come off creepy, and it takes time because some people you'll have to tell them multiple times you're there. This works best for men talking to women, and is a very tricky yet useful skill.
I just can't tell you how much I like your videos. They're really good!
Tip 1 is better used with care, and never on anyone even remotely important to you. That goes especially when you ASK for something.
On most people it works only once, and makes them jaded towards you. What's better, a 99% success chance on the first time and a 0.01% success rate every time after that, or a consistent success rate depending on the basic willingness of that person?
In fact, the amount of tips given is not a good example, since there is no asking involved. It is common to give tips, so you're already likely to get one, all you get is a bit more. Try bringing someone a cake and shortly after that, "coincidentally" ask that person to help painting the house. They'll never eat your cakes again, or even better, continue to take the cake but "coincidentally" have no time to help you out..
Using hypocrisy in an argument is actually a logical fallacy. A claim is true or not true regardless of who is making the claim. Yes, people will vehemently despise being called a hypocrite, but personally, I don't care about being a hypocrite because I've seen through such argumentation. Such claims are meaningless to me, you'd be committing a red herring fallacy for an ad hominem attack.
Although a claim may be true regardless of who is claiming it, you can convince said person otherwise. An easy way to win an argument is to have someone end up arguing with themselves. Also, I think the point in #4 was to just highlight inconsistencies that people have within themselves, and their need to smooth out those
2:24 The black guy with glasses is one of the managers in FIFA 17 Ultimate Team.
something I like to use when persuading someone is painting a clear picture of what they should do and then play down how much work it is. Like if I want someone to pick something up from the supermarket I'd say something like: you just have to go in, get the thing, and get out.
Same is prevalent in school marks. As a student I have never been the best. I have always gotten b & c grades but never a grades. After having read 'The little black school book' by Dr Mark Lopez there were two main factors that contributed to a student's success. Firstly the schollary skills and success of students. The second was the markers impression of the student. The second aspect was evaluated to contribute on average a one grade difference between students who employed manipulation techniques to gain teacher favour and those who didn't. This is why some people say that attractiveness can influanced your hraids.So if you want to improve upon your grades it is advised that you create a phycological analysis in a section of you scrap book on the teacher or marker in your book. This should focus on the langauge used by the marker and the actions of the marker in reference to positive and negative feedback.Lastly if you can suduce your teacher, ;) he he he... Then you garentee success
People don't help for free. I mean, they do, but very few people. Most don't do shit for free.
Dan Knight : I make shit almost everyday for free, your argument is invalid.
fenrirgg You realise people who say "your argument is invalid" are 99% of the worlds pretentious twats right?
Jordan H Pfff people who say "you realise people who say..." are 100% dumbfucks though. And I didn't even mention I make piss for free every day too.
Obama did.....with taxpayer money
fenrirgg You Realise people who say "people who say "you realise people who say"" are 110% homosexual?
The uncomfortable feeling when your beliefs and actions don't match is called "cognitive dissonance"
These videos are great. Should totally have more views.
All from Cialdini's 'Psychology of Persuasion'. Great info
Number 1 is so true. I help my weed guy who’s also my coworker by giving him new customers. One night I needed some but didn’t have cash. He said “no prob just pay me back” Great success!
The fact that there is a science to this is nothing less than scary. In a world full of pros... Whoa
your videos arz just really good ! Your way of talking and even your voice are so great ( personal opinion ) and I wish I could talk the same way someday ! Your content is very fruitful ! keep going and I am looking forward to watch more videos from your channel
this implication of reciprocity was given by a man 2000 years ago .. but most will just cuss at Him or just insult me for my belief ..
how was any of that unethical?
The first 3 seem like they can be abused. Example:
1. If you give a small gift or help out a person they might feel obligated to do more for you.
2. You can trick a person into thinking they are a good samaritan by having them volunteer for something rather than paying them.
3. Conformity - "everyone else is doing it, so should you"
Incredibly Undeniable Good points.
Apple's debut commercial was against conformity. These are great in most situations. But sometimes the right thing to do will vary depending on the context.
There's some truth in the paying thing. I've found the more I pay handymen, gardeners etc more if I think they've gone above and beyond, the less likely they are to show up next time they're needed. Weird.
Number 1doesn't always work. Neither does number 2. Number 3 might work and Number 4 will only work in rare circumstances.
doing things for a great cause and is about helping out to motivate for persausion
#3 is crazy! I am definitely going to try it, because if it is true, I have been working against myself this whole time!
People just prefer doing something for free instead of for a low price. In both occasions the person giving you the offer is trying to be nice. But in the case of the cheap offer the receiver will think of it as a bargain instead of an act of kindness and will not appreciate the act. The emotional reward for doing something nice for someone is not met in that case.
0:52 - 1:04 DO you know something called altruism or simply solidarity?
sometimes this feels like my secrete channel where I learn big secretes
I highly doubt this works. When I do something for free I know I'm doing it because I have to (i.e. service hours or internship), not because I want to help or I like the person. Not because I enjoy it, but because I have to and if I don't then it would cause an unfavorable response from the public.
the video mentioned money specifically but said in more words that when someone is doing something without a clear reason (money internship etc.) then they tend to assume it's for enjoyment. there's something powerful about not HAVING to be somewhere that makes them more likely to want to be there.
But when someone is doing something without a clear reason then...won't they just quit? Haha.
Search up cognitive dissonance and overjustification
there's a sucker is born every minute, so take em for all they've got.
great advise, just what i was looking for
Hi. Great Video. It seems like I read this info from this book called "The definitive book of body language" by Robert Pearce. Did you get the information in the video from the same book? Just Curios :)
Your videos are great Bite Size Psych! I cant predict the future(maybe you can do a video about this topic :P) but in the near future i do hope to see more people liking and subscribing to your channel. Thank you once again!
Don’t forget to give “thank you’s!” There may future roads to cross. Send a stinking card after graduation, wedding, birth of baby….. speaks volumes about your character
anyone knows another great channel like this?
There's also another powerful persuasion that is overlooked. Flip the first tip and instead of give, accept a gift or ask for something simple. Psychologically people like you more after they give you something.
I have been binge watching this channel and it reflects my logical actions and persuasions with others so much! Also was this video based of the novel, Influence?
this guy makes the best videos ever
I love this channel.
Your videos are really useful, haha. Would love to see more tricks, though.
people hate being hypocrites? thats new
Hate being something does not mean you aren't it. Ask _anyone_ if they're a hypocrit (or racist, or stupid). 100% will say no.
If you live in a world, where hypocrites, racists and stupid people exist, then that means people are not selfaware enough and/or don't like being those things. QED
Nekrosis You make a good rebutter, its supposed to be sarcastic though
they hate being exploited being hypocrites my friend not the sole fact that they are 😉
Johnny Jones very true
I find that pointing out people's hypocrisy only pisses them off
That's why they recommend doing it in public. You're more likely to control yourself if others are around.
2:03 or maybe cause they want to work hard enough to earn a salary
great videos. very descriptive and easy to usnderstand
As a student with no finances, how can I get crowd funding from sites like GoFundMe?
1. Give before you ask
2. Money won't always work
3. Use conformity
4. Point out hypocricy
5:08
That'll be $5, you're welcome
Has somebody recently read 'Predictably Irrational' by any chance?
1) Common courtesy
2) You need to be stupid
3) I steal hotel towels so screw it.
4) I make it a point to smile and be nice to people I detest. I do it for other reasons such as courtesy but of you call it hypocrisy I would not call you wrong. I will keep my hypocrisy thank you.
I do not necessarily agree with #2. When I offer free English or other form of tuition in a developing country, the students, who are invariably poor, often fail to show or show on time. When I take money, even if it's a pittance, they turn up on time. Perhaps this is just a custom in Vietnam, but there you have it.
well they paid money for something so they are going to do it.