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OP's Abusive Mom Refuses to Tell Him Anything About Who His Biological Father Is After a Decade o...
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- Опубликовано: 5 мар 2024
- My mother refuses to tell me anything about who my biological father is after a decade of asking (_banjo_massacre_ in r/insaneparents)
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His Mom is such a POS. Letting her husband do everything he did, the way they treated the cousin, constant lies.
I agree with you 💯%, and as for the fact that OP is engaged, I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I'm afraid that OP's upcoming marriage, will self-destruct (sadly, before he could start his own family), because of the abuse his mother and stepfather subjected him to, throughout his childhood; OP's fiance will eventually file for divorce, or have the marriage annulled, and start a new life with another man, one, whose family is stable and close-knit. 💔⚠️
Ops Mom: "i have given you all the information i can"
Except his fucking name!
God this woman is toxic! Allowing his stepdad to abuse him and refuse to tell OP who his father is.
Op and his mom interaction was pissed me off the answers she was giving him total B.S.
@@manutd316Same here. That got me all fired up, too.
I agree with you 💯%, and when OP has any kids of his own, he better keep them the hell away from his birth-giver and her POS husband, and warn those bozos that they'll be sporting "His and Hers" handcuffs for attempted kidnapping, if they get within 30 feet of his kids, or even try to take them out of his house; OP's kids will be better off never knowing their grandmother and her husband than going through the same heartache and trauma those toxic @§&#*%$ put their father through.
The mom seems to be very talented at using a lot of words to say absolutely nothing
Grandpa: Just suck it up and let them abuse you for the rest of your life. Thats what I did for 18 years watching them abuse you. Why are you creating drama?
worst thing? grandpa probably thinks he had it worse when he was that age
it's gross the way she lies to the younger kids. It's so creepy
She legit has issues
That's what narcisists do. This ENTIRE SITUATION was caused because she cannot admit whatever she did - slept with two men at the same time? Slept with a man with a sweetheart? Was dating a rugby player and had a one night stand? I'm certain it puts her on a bad light and she cannot endure being minimally wrong.
Doesn't help she married another narcisist, a violent one to boot. And I suspect he's as cruel, verbally, with the half siblings as he was wuth OP, people like him don't chance, just disguise better.
She’s a manipulative ars and since her lies started to slip she had to lie to the other kids so op would look like the bad guy instead of her. She’s playing the isolation game so she can have more control in the situation. The sad part is she’s almost got away with it if it wasn’t for the step dad blurting out her biggest secret.. people like that make me sick and it’s even more sad that I know of this behavior from personal experiences
There's a special place in hell for parents that treat kids the way this mother an stepfather have treated this man,
One thing I can never understand about abusive parents they find the most stupidest reasons to abuse the kids and I can never understand how mothers can stick by a sob who abuses kids I can never truly understand that
My father did the same to me, it’s not just mothers
Because enabling abuse typically runs in the family or extreme bitterness towards the other parent and the child is a constant reminder of their failure or that relationship
I can't fathom it either. My kids dad was abusive towards me so I left when I was pregnant with my daughter and my son was 1. After my daughter was born, I'd started seeing a guy I'd been friends with for years. We'd been together maybe 2 months at the time. My daughter wanted milk so she was crying. As babies do. I set her in her cot while I prepped the milk. The guy picked her up because she was crying. Which I told him he didn't have to do. Anyway. I got back in, took her and fed her. He watched me for a bit then said "I wanted to smash her head into the wall if she didn't stop." That one comment was it for me to not want anything to do with him again. I was on edge from my previous relationship with my kids father so I wasn't taking any chances.
The only reason would be is if theyhad been raised in an abusive home themselves and it became normalized. It can become something that someone became so used to it's expected behavior. It's a perfect example of "The Sins of the fathers" being passed on to future generations.
Also some are being abusive towards their children coz of their stress and frustration they have in their personal lives and decides to vent it out their children by abusing them coz they were their children and they have the custody with them and thinks they can do whatever they want since THEY gave birth to their children 🙄😤...So gross of them 🤢
In the beginning,I'm thinking: OP just drop it. There has to have been something that happened surrounding your birth. Well when OP started describing his childhood. All the abuse. I thought: Oh hell no. F that B and Stepdad. Find your Dad.
Well said. Not only should OP find his bio-dad, he should also undergo premarital counseling before going ahead with the wedding planning.
I was surprised he still tried to reconnect after all that happened, but I also had a peacemaker in my family (my mother) who did everything to keep the family together, so I can imagine the peer pressure.
Even if that was the case, he should still know who is bio dad is. Imagine he developed issues with his health that’s linked to his parental lineage. Kids deserve to know who their parent is, regardless of what the parent has done. It’s their absolute right.
@@blckcommunitycommentator7307 Absolutely. Plus, OP needs to build a relationship with his bio-dad, before making plans to start his own family.
I feel like the mom was just withholding the information because she wanted to keep OP under her thumb. She had information he desperately needed, and she must have realized on some level that she’s treated him so horribly that no person in their right mind would still want to be in contact with her if she didn’t have something to hold over OPs head
Ops mother: "i have given you all the information i can" other from his fucking name! This woman is so toxic, my god! refusing to reveal his father to OP and allowing his stepdad to mistreat him.
Why the f would op still talk to his mum!?!
No clue
Years of abuse
OP should make sure the mom and stepdad didn't take loans out under their name since she refused to give him the ssn and other important papers (I wouldn’t be surprised since lots of shitty parents do that) . Giving him just the birth certificate with no dad written on it is just her adding gas to the fire…
God am I glad I had loving parents, the shit OP went through was a true crucible
Agreed. And sadly, that will negatively affect his upcoming marriage.⚠️
All I got to say is op mom and stepdad is not going to see the Gate of Heaven
I agree with you 💯%, if someone noticed how OP had been treated by his mother and stepfather, they would contact social services to remove him from those abusive parasites, place him in foster care, and then, with a loving and stable adoptive family; in fact, OP should've been taken away from his mother and stepfather, and placed with kind foster/adoptive parents, and he would have a good life.
op is a terrible sob the moment your grandchild tell you they're getting abused by their parents you should put on your cable and try to save them not disappoint them any further knowing they can never Escape abuse
This guy's life made me cry.
Same here. OP has had a troubled childhood, which is bad enough; next, he'll have a failed marriage, which is even worse.
*People with childhood traumas are more likely to have failed relationships/marriages, as they enter adulthood.*
DNA test is easy to check if the man can be spoken to.
I want to meet both the mom and step dad personally. I just wanna meet em. I just wanna meet em
Maybe meet them somewhere without cameras. Just to ask a few questions...
Me too. Grandpa also. I just want to talk.
Ditto!
so when you are having your "conversation" I will throw a party that you definitely attended
I think that OP's mother never lost the hope that she could convince her son to drop his search and accept that her husband (Stepdad) was his father and that the two of them could then have some kind of relationship (even if a strained one) so she could have her fantasy perfect family and perfect life. However, to quote her 'that ship had sailed' after the physical abuse and the 'contract'.
8 minutes in and I hope its not the grandfather.
Give me spoilers: is it the grandfather
It wasn't just me 😂😂😂
Spoilers...
That would be disgusting.
she said because she wanted OP to suffer not knowing his dad, they are bullies, they bullied every kid in the house.
well. looks like we all figured out who was grandpas golden child. these parents are so infuriatingly toxic
How long until op stops calling his abusers his parents.
You know what I think, I think the mom didn’t want him to find his dad so he wouldn’t be happy, I bet behind the blinds she just miserable and her husband belittle her just as much as he does to others so her own son finding any sort of happiness just rubs her the wrong way
She cheated and knew he wouldn't forgive her. So she took his son away to punish him and hated the kid for being his son.
She probably got a lump sum of money and signed a non-disclosure agreement to keep the biological father secret.
If this story is real, I'm actually pissed at the "helpful" mental health worker and teacher. They are mandated reporters, and if they knew OP was being abused they have a legal obligation to report it to CPS. The mental health worker especially, bc it's easier to protect a kid when they're already out of reach of the abuser (vs the teacher who may have feared backlash if the stepdad found out).
Id just put my dna in with as many ancestry dna places and see how long it takes for someone closely related pops up
Nowadays you don't need her to find out. Do those DNA tests and see about other relatives out there.
This story has drugged out so long
I have worked on psychological ward, anyone who feels that a stay there is better than their home life really is in a bad situation
That ending was boss. Hope Op can move on from his mom.
first OP: i’m sure some people understand that the not knowing where you come from…
I didn’t have a dad, I asked my Mum a million times who my father is.
the arguments ended when i was 16yrs old and my Mum got so worked up and told me i was a one night stand and i hated it and her for telling me like that
This feels like this isn’t even half over yet
Redundant, redundant, redundant . . .
Hey kid I don't know where you're at but if you live in the United States you can sue anybody for anything which means you should contact a lawyer and try to sue your mom for never telling you about your father she knew he was your father all along you guys can go together and sue her together your father could actually sue her also for keeping you away from him forever, see how much money you can get out of that old witch she deserves to lose everything she has for screwing over your life for so long, and I personally would go on the internet and tell your stepfather's name and say exactly what he did to you as a child and ruin both your stepfather and your mother's reputation
Does it had any update? I hate his mom so much
I would called CPS on them
The mom is so annoying
Screw your mom and square one that tells you to give your mom a second chance if she's had so many chances to tell you the truth and she didn't screw your mom and stepdad
Get a DNA test
Why the hell would yiu keep in touch with your parents who treated u like shit?
just asking is that your minecraft world if that is cool underground house.
Why the hell the OP tried to reconcile when He was the one who was abused ....?? Spineless OP 🤦🏻♀️🙄🤷🏻♀️
But why hide this guy as his biodad?? I mean what was her thinking behind it? I know she blames it on biodas not wanting anything to do w her or the baby but that's obviously BS, so why hide it so hard?? So many questions left unanswered 😢
Cruelty tends to be the reason for people like her.
Well this dude is annoying.
Obviously my heart goes out to op with this awful situation. His family is so clearly abusive and terrible and I genuinely hope things have gotten better. But they seem to have their own issues going on, not related to this post, I encourage people to scroll through this persons Reddit history cause they have some absolutely wild right wing hot takes. Maybe they are trying to troll conservatives maybe not it’s impossible to tel anymore but kinda proof that you should never let your guard down on the internet
Examples being conspiracies/misinformation regarding trans kids, ‘oh no the drag queens are corrupting our youth’, etc. Again not saying they are a bad person just they seem to hang around sus parts of the internet
Okay, there is stuff there that we don't know about. A LOT of stuff.
There are only a few conclusions this can have.
A.) Mom was assaulted and never told anyone, got flak for being pregnant and told everyone she didn't know who the father is to get away from BioFather (reason he left college?)
B.) Mom is a POS who didn't want BioFather in her and their kid's life, because she didn't like him.
C.) BioFather is a POS who skipped town when he found out he knocked someone up (reason he left college?)
D.) ALL of them are POS because none of them wanted that kid and everyone was just like "Yeah, whatever, just drag him along!"
In option D she is not wrong for not wanting him if he was the product of being assaulted- she is an AH regardless for not giving him away since she didn’t want him and made him suffer
E) The mom and the bio dad had a drunken 1 night stand, and the mom didnt think he was good enough for her, and she punish OP for her choice in life.
F or the oop is a affair kid and the dad bounced back to the wife and mommy dearest hid it from everyone.
You know the contract that the parents made OP sign wasn’t actually too insane , if you didn’t know anything about the context and situation. Like honestly it’s a pretty good framework for getting someone prepared for some sort of working adulthood.
It IS rather harsh and absolutely inappropriate for a minor to be bound such a thing, but for a 23 year old done with college but living at home this would be rather beneficial (with some obvious tweaks).
The devil is in the details, the contract in itself isn't the issue, but more like after years and years of abuse, the instant they knew OP got a job, they jumped to demand such a contract was signed.
the clause where the parents could change the contract at will makes it something NOONE should ever sign
Twenty three and me dude
23andMe test is needed you'll find out something.
23 and me is not a magic wand, it only has 15m users worldwide
I hope you gi mo contact woth your mom and stepdad
wait americans are 13 when theyre in 6th grade? thats wild, were in like year 9, i was half done with secondary, when do you start school, age 7?
I don't know how it is in America, in Germany there is voluntary kindergarten from about 3 years and preschool at 5 years and school is usually started at 6 years. Before starting school you are examined to see if you are ready for school and for me it was decided that I would go to another preschool (I now have a BA in economics and the person sitting next to me has an MA in actuarial science lol) and so I didn't start school until I was 7 and was also in 6th grade at 13.
We start school at 6.
Kindergarten starts around ages 5/6 and First grade at 6/7. Many parents opt for Pre-K at ages 3/4 for basic language, cognition, pattern recognition, and social development.
What is this bullshit?
I'm only 3 minutes in, but I hope it's not the grandfather.
I hate AI narrators....this one I particular puts you to sleep......
*Turns out the Mom is shocked because she could have sworn she never slept with him, and she actually didn’t. He just assaulted her while she was drunk and she was always afraid of that truth so did everything in her power to bury it and the trama.*
Is it, really? We can only assume, if she says nothing. She can't be the victim if there was no crime.
If thats the case, she still allowed her son to be abused and even put him in a potentially dangerous situation with his bio dad by not explaining the situation properly. She was given plenty of chances to explain if things were in any way strange or alarming. She didnt. At a certain point you need to own your own situation and from the sounds of things she refused to do that at every possible stage. Most children will stay away from a possible bio dad if they get told "he took advantage" even if its in far more tame circumstances than you paint in your senario.
But on the whole, I doubt it. Wouldnt you try to warn your son that something about that man was dangerous, if you had fragmentary memories of your time with him and he told you he was in contact? She didnt.
Not everything is trauma. Sometimes an Ahole is just an Ahole
Time stamp where its stated that happen
Oh wait you cant, because thre wasnt any thing about that, she just a bitter woman who litterly abused her child
@@honeydroptheunicorn6557I was being facetious. That’s why the text is bolded. I put two “*” on either side to indicate it was a joke, but apparently that is a format thing in youtube.
OMG all these mispronounced words and not saying old saying's correctly!! It is CHOMPING AT THE BIT!! A bit goes in a horses or cows or oxen or mules mouth to guide them around!!
I’m so sorry OP had a sorry pos mother. I hope he goes NC with her forever. One day she is going to need you & when that time comes let her pass away alone. I also hope your mother & stepfather enjoy the heat because it’s going to be really hot where they go when they leave this life. I’m so angry for OP. I could never even imagine treating my son like that or allowing anyone to mistreat my children. I have dumped men and people for much much less.
If there's an update on this story, it'll unfortunately, be where OP's fiance calls off their wedding, takes off her engagement ring, and breaks up with him, or, where OP calls off the wedding, and breaks up with her.💔⚠️
You wish.
Not projecting
@@karinefonte516I mean, because of all the hell OP's mother and stepfather put him through, his marriage won't last.