Story 1: Firstly Op wrote that the son of handedly remarked on the SA of his sister to others that didn't and shouldn't know. Now in the update OP wrote the son joked about it, which is even worse than it already is. Makes it even more understandable why the daughter doesn't want anything to do with that brother of hers. It feels a little as if OP is more concerned how the relationship between her children might look to others. Op needs to accept that this relationship might be broken for ever and if she can't and tries to meddle that she will loose her daughter too.
I think that really is the core problem. OP cares more about how it looks and how she feels as a parent and isn't thinking about how her daughter, the actual victim, feels. If anything, trying to get them to reconcile and force the relationship makes it less likely she ever does.
When op says flippantly that I think means joking so she kind of said it in the first post too that the brother was joking, But I agree she shouldn't be forced to talk to her brother
I wonder what they should do now if the relationship between her 2 children is permanently irreparable? How should she move forward going on? I feel the absolute worst thing now is to cause further resentment or let it fester. If it does, then it could be over for all involved, not just between brother and sister.
That's a common issue for many of these stories about Family Relationships. The Parents are always more worried about how they look. Often times that's the reason for the bad relationship.
I like how the story 1 Op completely disregarded all the valid advice given to her on redit, where she was looking for advice to begin with, and lost her daughter as a result of it. Just goes to show, she wasn't actually looking for advice, she was looking for reassurances that she was doing the right thing and her horribly traumatized daughter was in the wrong.
Worse thing is once it backfired she started the update with “my son didn’t tell his friends like a fact he joked about it” like you can see now she doesn’t give a fuck
I have something similar to the first story in my life. My older sister has not spoken to either of our parents in literally years, because they either caused mental trauma or protected someone they were with when they caused drama. I have, on a few rare occasions, like once every few years, prodded my sister to see if she might want to reopen the lines of communication, but when she says “no”, I leave it alone. Reconciliation could happen at some point in time, but I am fully aware that it needs to be on her terms; something the mother of the story seems to be struggling to understand. Also, I love how the mother comments on her daughters therapist being so concerned about the daughters mental wellbeing; I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Wow, great job figuring out how to tell everyone you don’t care about your daughters mental health without saying you don’t care.”
Story 1, slight observation for all of you if you missed it. When OP first mentioned her daughters SA notice she said “he let it slip” in the update she said “joked about his sisters SA”.
Story 1: Oh so OP lied. He didn't just make a remark about his own sister's SA. He was making an edgy "joke" about it. That is disgusting and OP expecting her to forgive him is disgusting.
Let's be 100% real. If OP of Story 2 hadn't thrown dad under the bus and told his son the truth, none of that stuff would've been returned. It had to blow up to get it all back.
If rightfully telling your nephew that his dad allowed his mom and sisters to either sell or destroy the remaining memories of your dead relative is what you consider "throwing under the bus". The nephew still didn't get all of his stuff back, and was only left with two rings and a necklace
Son accidentally told two people about his sister's SA....turned into son told a group about his sister's SA in an effort to be edgy .....oh yeah son did it deliberately and mommy dearest makes excuses and tells one sided half truths . He is all upset now ...boohoo. I'm sorry but this is disgusting . Op cares more about her son's feefees and trying to make his sister forgive and accept him again . Doubt that's going to happen but don't worry son your mommy will keep enabling your BS
@@Pence128My brothers were idiots when they were 14. That's sort of expected. But there are lines you don't cross, and he crossed them. If she can't forgive that, then no one else should be trying to convince her otherwise.
I don’t think OP has any clue to the reasons son told about how his sister was harmed, which is why OP was all over the place with the details. I’m wondering if OP ever had a talk with the son about how badly his sister was harmed (doesn’t need details) and how every day she hears or sees something that adds to her pain so that is not something to discuss with anyone. I’m thinking both parents screwed up royally on this one. The daughter needs the 3rd party therapist, who is only concerned with the daughter, to handle this. Daughter desperately needs an advocate.
@@hopelessromantic3786everybody is an idiot at 14. Some well-behaved idiots but they're still idiots. That being said, even an idiot knows not to say or do certain things.
OP gripes about how expensive therapy is for her daughter, but doesn't bring up expense when talking about her son's therapy and meds to help him with his poor feelings being hurt from his own actions.
S1: I don't like OP just because she wants the counselor to tell her what her daughter has been telling them. If the daughter doesn't want her to know, but OP wants to know and is pushing, she's not concerned about her daughter. She's concerned about her image. With how young the son is, he should have never learned anything about the daughter's SA unless it was absolutely required. That way he could have said anything and earned this hatred from his sister.
I find it very concerning that OP didn't say he "joked" about her assault in her initial post. Like she just slipped that in. It wasn't a mistake either. He told his buddies for fun, which means he put thought into it. What the hell did they think would happen??
1st op failed to protect her daughter from sexual assault than failed to teach his son basic manners as her brother he was suppose to protect his sister but he digged her wounds. And now instead of giving her space they all are forcing her to maintain relationships. Wow God help that girl .
That first sentence is a bit harsh, there are sadly some things in this world you cant protect people from. You arent going to be around your family 24/7, and this was apparently a family member that did it, someone you would likely trust, which makes the story sadder.
I am about to write about my SA experience. I had two big brothers and one big sister when I was around 6 years old my eldest brother started grooming me(he was a pre teen when it started). When I was 8 years old he bribed me with a toy to get naked honestly I didn’t really think anything about it until he started touching me and I told him to stop he did that time, but he refused to give me the toy. I was very angry both about the toy and the fact he touched me( I’m autistic, so I don’t really like being touched by people until it’s like a hug from my Mom though it also depended on her clothes since some materials made my skin itchy). I started to distance myself from him, but then he got a million times worse. He came up with a game about my body and what he wanted to see of it and other stuff with code words. I would be at dinner and he would torment me with the game. He would chase me all day to while I kept screaming and crying for somebody to help me, but my parents couldn’t have cared less( I was neglected as a child because I was ‘too dramatic’) as he chased me he used his code with to tell me which parts of my clothes he was go to forcefully take off as soon as he got a hold of me. It took two weeks of that until he finally managed to catch me( I managed to hide behind my other big brother a lot. He was the only one who seemed to understand something was going on.) I managed to crawl away while trying to get him off me. I managed to grab something and hit him with it hard enough that he lost him grip and I managed to get to my other big brother(Aden) and I immediately told him that ACH(I’m just going to use his initials) was touching me( I was 8 I didn’t really understand what was going on and what he was trying to do to me. All I knew how to say is he was touching my private area and I didn’t like it). My brother called Mom and Dad and told them what was going on and ACH got yelled at and spanked, but other than that they did nothing to protect me from him. He was a little more careful when my parents were home, but that was it. My parents made me promise not to tell anyone because it would ruin his life. My brother the only brother I consider my actual brother did his best to always be my side as much as he could to protect me, but he was only 10 there was only so much he could do. I eventually reached another breaking point at school and I told my teacher about it. DCFS was called, but nothing much changed besides the face me and my siblings were not to be left alone for a year. However my Mom didn’t really pay much attention to me cause she said I was too dramatic and was probably exaggerating and my Dad believed the same thing. I lost all trust and respect for my parents especially when my Mom said at least nothing worse happened and that it’s the past and to forget and move on. My Dad was even worse than her he completely favored him in every way and everything was always my fault my brother and my sister when she visited did their best to be there for me, but my sister eventually said I was just being a big baby and worse. Honestly the only thing making me not want to unalive myself was my burning hatred for everyone except my brother Aden plus my dog Bella and my cat which always did their best to comfort me( also I was also bullied at school too, and the teachers would always blame me for it too). I never really got justice because the police and my parents didn’t want to ruin a young man’s life. Honestly even though he left when he graduated high school ( which was conveniently when my parents started to give a half a fuck about me because their ACH was gone). Honestly he is disowned now after I went to therapy in high school and my therapist said that one I wasn’t lying for attention and two that she was only trained to help people with anxiety. And that I needed a lot more help. Honestly my parents say they are sorry for my childhood, but my dad recently said that he thinks he did a pretty good job. And my mother refuses to go to therapy with my because it was almost 6 years ago and I should just move on already. Honestly I feel suffocated.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents fail to protect their kids, especially if they have a vested interest inprotectimg or placating the wrongdoer, or they just don't want to deal with acknowledging that kind of life shattering trauma. They say bs like, "I don't want to think that could happen." Or "It was so long ago, can't you just move on?" A depressing number of people think children are their property or girls are an acceptable loss. F these fail parents and their scumbag son.
For story one all I heard from the OP is that she cares more about her son and his feelings then she does about the daughter and what the daughter is going through being re-traumatized after such a traumatizing event I don’t blame her for cutting op off.
I think OP is more or less trying to figure out how to create a normal functioning at least halfway happy normal family. Which is sadly just something that isjt going to happen, but I’d say its an understandable desire?
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwistno, your observation is completely wrong though. She's more worried about how it looks. She talks more about her feelings and her son's feelings. Then she does the daughter's feelings. There's a clear favorite in this situation and she clearly has issues with people viewing her family as anything other than perfect. There's no innocent take to this op
Ok.. so if she was SA'd as a child... and is now 17, why the f*ck does the 14 year old even know about the SA, that's something he should have never even been told about at least until he became and adult and only he his sister if & when she wanted to tell him and no-one else should have told him
She's only 3 years older than him, so depending on the age she was he would have been aware of it or told so he understood why his sister was struggling.
She was SA'd by their family member when she was 10& he was 7. Not only was there a trial they most likely not just talked about the basics of what happened because he couldn't be around that family member anymore & they probably had to question him as a kid BK then once her assault came to light to make sure he wasn't harmed by the same family member. Plenty of siblings know about their sibling's S A as a kid/ teen they just have common sense & decency to not go around telling ppl & making jokes about it
Story 1: mom is minimizing what little brother said about his sister's horrible trauma. It wasn't a flip, offhanded remark. It was bad enough for her to cut him off forever. No wonder she's starting to cut parents off as well, because mom has excused him and expects her to do so as well. For her comfort. That sucks.
Story 1: 'I worry that if I push her, she will cut contact with us' and then proceeds to literally push her to the point she has to cur contact. OP and the dad just sounds like they dont want to have to deal with the daughter's trauma anymore, and think SHE, THR VICTIM, should just let go of this pain for the sake of everyone else. I have a young brother and I can't imagine him commenting on something so personal about any of us. OP is actually downplaying how much of a betrayal that was. Story 2: OP is not his brother's magical-fix-go-to especially after Jaime's father was being so utterly selfish and downplaying the suffering and needs of his own child. Once again, parents not acting like they have more than one kid.
S1: the son opened his mouth and spoke about a traumatic event in DD’s life a event she keeps private and doesn’t want other to know and son blabbed. So it’s his punishment of being a ghost to his sister may this will be a lesson to not run his mouth. And OP forcing reconciliation is a bad moved and just leave/accept her kids will not interact and if DD does want to reconnect let it be done on her terms and pace
1st story,Yta. U let your son victimize his sister all over again and then wanna have a surprise Pikachu face when she cut both u and him out of her life! U deserve everything you got. 2nd story,Nta. Glad you got your nephew's back. Your brother just completely broke any trust his son had in him for a long time
Even his therapist tell him to leave her. That speaks volumes. Almost all therapist will work to put you in the right headspace to make your own decision but when they themselves told you what decision it is to take, then you must have a tactical nuke coming your way.
Story 1: OP was told not to force a reconciliation, but did it anyway. And now she has no daughter. Her savior complex cost OP her "happy family", i hope it was worth it
I think OP is more or less trying to figure out how to create a normal functioning at least halfway happy normal family. Which is sadly just something that isjt going to happen, but I’d say its an understandable desire?
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist no... OP just wants to play "Happy Family" at the expense of her daughter's mental heath and boundry setting. She is being selfish.
@@RandomTrinidadian I agree with you, my statement didnt contradict what you have said at all. OP wants to create a happy family. But it wont happen, which is somewhat sad, especially for the daughter, who went through something terrible no one deserves. The brother was young and stupid for sure. But could you imagine being a parent in such a situation? No parent wants their kids to hate each other for life, and they did punish the brother for nearly a year, and the sister got upset at that, her feelings are valid but what would she want to happen, they keep punishing the brother for the rest of his life as well? She went through something terrible, 100%, but she definitely has trouble communicating about her wants, and desires. Which is understandable, its a shitty situation, something like that happened to me, I might just shut down as well, I struggle to see a clear answer and solution to the issue at hand. OP clearly didnt want her daughter to hate her brother for all of eternity, from age 14? To and through adulthood. The poor girl, I hope she can live a happy life.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwistsounds like you trying to shame the daughter for keeping up some boundaries. OP daughter has made it very clear she wants nothing to do with her brother, but OP still thinks that her daughter should 'forgive" him cause it's gonna magically fix everything. If OP actually made the same effort in respecting her daughter boundaries, as she did with trying to get her to forgive her brother, then maybe her daughter would not have gone low contact. But nope, she wants happy family, boundaries be damned. The brother is now a victim cause he has been "punished enough" and the daughter needs to get over it.
@@RandomTrinidadian I’m not blaming the daughter, I was just explaining what OP wanted, A happy family. What is the solution to create that? I’m not sure. But also is the daughter going to hate her brother for the rest of his life for an admittedly terrible thing he said at 14? We all make or say dumb stuff or do dumb things at younger ages? The daughter is definitely right to feel hurt or betrayed. The brother was grounded for a year, and when the parents stopped grounding him she was upset. Again I was asking what exactly it was she wanted from the parents? She refuses to speak at all to anyone. I wont blame her for what happened, but when someone refuses to communicate or express anything, it does become a lot harder to help or fix anything. I dont think you really addressed any of the points or questions I asked? Her boundaries are important, yes. But do you just continue to punish the brother for eternity? If you are the parent what are you going to do, is what I’m asking? I have no clue for a solution to the problem, but doing nothing isnt going to help?
Story 3 this is the first time I see a counselor do its job and safeguard the mental health of his patients. If he didn't speak to op he would've forgiven her and returned to the toxic relationship cycle
Story 1: Like others have said, it appears OP is more concerned with the optics of having a happy family instead of actually having a happy family. The brother nuked his relationship with his sister. If she doesn't want to have one with him in the future, that's her decision and no one else's. You don't get to stab someone in the back one day and act like nothing happened the next. He belittled and laughed about the most traumatic and painful experience of her young life like it was nothing and shared it with others. Disgusting. Story 2: Everyone in the family is upset with OP'S interference, but if she hadn't, none of those items would have been returned. Also, if the spineless jellyfish brother had exercised even a smidgen of his responsibility as a father to his son, this story wouldn't exist, so 🤷. He deserves to be exposed for the twat that he is. Story 3: W counselor. She recognized Tina's BS from a mile away. She knew exactly what she was doing when she laid out the rules of the separation and her wording of them. She wanted to get her bell rung by other men while OP did all the work. STBXW can kick rocks and play her games with someone else.
In the first story, stop defending him. He should be made to know how he broke the family up. You need to let him know he did this, and you'll never get the family tou had back. Dont push the daughter or you'll fully lose her for ever. Stop playing down what he did. If he wanted to play games he wins stupid prizes. Hes your golden child.
S1: Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. In the original post, OP said the brother just told his friends about it. Then in the update, she said he was JOKING WITH FRIENDS IN AN ATTEMPT TO SEEM EDGY. Wth, OP?! No wonder sister doesn't want anything to do with her brother! He basically made a mockery of her SA! And you want to force reconciliation so he won't 'feel alone'? Last time I checked, that's pretty much the definition of punishment. Which he deserves for making fun of his sister's very real trauma. Definitely, YTA.
Op is so self centred in firdt story and no matter how much she denies this fact but the truth is she loves her son more then she ever did to her own daughter. She wasn't ready to accept that her daughter is mentally traumatized for life actually. Childhood SA by close people will make a lifetime impact on you and i never find any patient recovering from it 100%. She is keep talking about how her son is depressed like daughter was dancing 😢
Op 1 : you shouldn't be parents. You should ashamed of yourself. You field your daughter twice. I wouldn't be surprised if they cut contact with you and you gonna be alone forever
Your son is an enormous AH. Sometimes you can’t fix what you’ve broken. Your son is suffering from the consequences of his actions! What reason in the world would he have to spread this around. That’s not an accident. You seem more interested in your son’s feelings than your daughter’s. She is entitled to separate from him.
Mom, back off, this isn’t about your “heartbreak”. He betrayed her, BADLY, she may never forgive him. If she’s neurodivergent, that may be a jump she can’t clear. She was victimized by the perp then your son. Don’t blow it.
Story 1: the brother is 14. He knew what he was doing. Eff him, and OP. OP’s response in this is to lock the AH son in the house with the victim? OP doesn’t to realize that the son has done the second worse thing she’s ever experienced to the daughter, and it’s not a long second, it’s far too close. He son ever been told he did this, and he has to cope, because she has no obligation or reasonable need to ever forgive him? As far as the one commenter telling OP to tell the son he has to figure out how to make it right - that’s wrong. He needs to be told he can try to make things right, but it might not be possible, and he can’t force it, and if he can’t make it right, he just have to live with that.
Story 2: OP’s brother can pound sand. He was useless. Regarding the jewelry, there’s probably a list of what there was and what was missing or destroyed - report it to the police and see those crazy Bs
Story 1 the brother is clearly the golden child in this story he told his friends stuff he shouldn't have and hurt his sister she doesn't have to have a relationship or forgive him and I don't blame her if she doesn't OP needs to wake up and realise her son is the issue and caused all this
1st OP is the AH Parents have this image in their head of the "perfect family" Or they want it to go back to "how it used to be" NEVER do that Things are gonna change! Accept it! Leave her tf alone The fact that she left early is your son's fault and the fact that you're trying to push her out And then trying to push him out so your daughter can stay?! You are a TERRIBLE parent. You are thinking that how you're "punishing" him is enough He devastated her. I have been raped and abused. The only person who should tell someone is me. I swear if someone let this out to my job or a large group of people who knew me, I would absolutely lose it. I would do worse to the family. He needs to learn that there are SEVERE consequences. He's suffering because of what HE did She didn't do anything wrong. HE did Let him be depressed. Go to therapy with him but leave her out of it. Yes he does need help. No he shouldn't be neglected. You need to help him through it without trying to brush it under the rug by forcing anything I cut out friend and family who were toxic. People who would hurt me like this. I swear these parents are selfish. Only caring about they feel and the son
Story 1: mom is minimizing what little brother said about his sister's horrible trauma. It wasn't a flip, offhanded remark. It was bad enough for her to cut him off forever. No wonder she's starting to cut parents off as well, because mom has excused him and expects her to do so as well. For her comfort. That sucks.
S1: DD shouldn't have to deal with a family like this. I bet OP either knew the family member was a creep or ignored the signs. Now OP thinks DS's feelings matter more than DD. Yes DS is a kid, but DD is also a kid and DS is old enough to not joke about the sa of his own sister.
How the mother worded it when saying that the therapist of her daughter won't speak with her about the therapy sounds so entitled. Has she understood that kids are not her property? Her daughter is an independent human with rights. I hope OPs daughter cuts out all the toxicity out of her live when she is 18. I wish her the best!
I faced something similar. I am a 74 year old gay man, who has never told family or friends. I have always answered truthfully if anyone had the nerve to ask. Anyway, when I came home for the summer between sophomore and junior year of college, a friend called me and said come over. So I went across the street to her apartment, where she began to tell me; "Your sister told a different girl across the street, that the reason I would not go out with her was because I liked the boys in the band". I was furious with my sister since, she had never asked me or anything about something like this. We were never friends after that. I would talk to her but we weren't friends and I would never help her out. She is no longer here and I very rarely think about her.
Story 2: OP’s brother can pound sand. He was useless. Regarding the jewelry, there’s probably a list of what there was and what was missing or destroyed - report it to the police and see those crazy Bs
Story 1: the parent is clearly the problem. He's sincerely sorry that he's suffering long lasting repercussions. It's not mentally healthy for the daughter to be betrayed and experience a relapse in her recovery. The OP's daughter is not interested in reconciliation with a brother who would use her SA as an ice breaker. How is that not clicking. The parent has made it very clear that the son's happiness is the most important priority so she should cherish that and hope he's going to take care of the parents in old age.
She did make claims that the brother, quote, “tried daily to talk to her and apologized, begged, pleaded and cried.” Maybe, somewhere down the line, the daughter could forgive the brother for his stupidity, but right now, she is still hurting and the only effect the mother is causing is a painful reminder that a sibling, someone who is SUPPOSED TO protect her, was the betrayer. Mom needs to get over this obsession with her family dynamic being disrupted and not only let her daughter heal, but push back against the son from continuously trying to force reconciliation.
You can’t force forgiveness especially with when he joked about her SA. Disgusting. She had every right to be angry and Op isn’t helping by forcing them to play “happy family”.
1st story. Golden child issues. Moms pushing to get her daughter to forgive her sons stupidity exposing her SA, on top of that make a joke about that traumatic experience?? Why are you doing this to her. You're a terrible mother…!! She has no obligation to do Anything YOU want.
Story 1 - OP YTA - What you are failing to see in this situation is that YOUR daughter is feeling like she has SA all over again. Because of HER brother now EVERYBODY knows about the pain, hurt and shame that your daughter had to go through because of something so vile as SA. He destroyed all your daughter's progress just for gossip and giggles. Would you be okay with your daughter having a friendship/relationship with her abuser? NO, right? So, what makes you think that because it is her brother who hurt her so deeply this time, HE should get a pass and his sister's forgiveness. Only time will tell IF your daughter EVER finds it in her heart to forgive her brother. Stop trying to fix something that it is NOT yours to fix. Yes, the situation suck, but the more you push, you are bound to lose your daughter.
She first said her son just told it to friends in a passing comment but either OP slips up or she comes clean and admits that her son told is as a joke to be edgy which is just so much worse, he did it maliciously. Now OP is upset her son is crying and facing the consequences of his actions while her daughters life got destroyed again. I hope the daughter gets a proper and sincere apology from the mother and she's happy with no contact to the brother.
"It wasn't malicious" idk even at 14 I knew better than to spread word about someone, especially my own sister's, SA...idk what else that could be aside from malice or he's so coddled by OP he's literally too emotionally stunted to know better....
First story: the son is an idiot. Some things are unforgivable. Leave the daughter alone. You are favoring the son. Where is your support for the daughter? You can't force her to go to therapy, etc.
Story 1. Some things are unforgivable. You cared nothing but what this has done to your son. I’m with your daughter. Both of you are dead to her by your own selfish actions. Both of you.
Story 01: OP clearly cares more about her son's "discomfort" than her daughters full on trauma. She should be ashamed of her self. No 14 yo should be JOKING about their siblings SA.
S3 - wife couldn’t be more of an AH if she tried. They separated for 1 yr and she had sex with 7 people and thought she did everything right? I keep seeing that one Friends episode, where Ross and Rachel took a break during which Ross found someone and had a relationship. When Rachel found out and said she wouldn’t get back together because he had a fling, Ross just shouted “We were on a break.” If you take a break so you can reflect on how your relationship became so broken, going out and having multiple other relationships leaves very little time for reflection. All it is , is looking for something better but in case of failure, you still have the partner you separated from.
Why aren't you considering that you are the AH? You are protecting and making him the golden child., when you failed your daughter by minimalizing her trauma and making her the problem.
S1: OP is more worried about son then daughter. Like bro did something unforgivable. Will have to live with that made her senior year hell. INstead of taking that shame finding ways to make amends and dealing with maybe he can't. They are letting him be a complete ass.
Story 3.... If ur gonna separate in a relationship just to need space from each other doesn't mean u go n fcuk others n come back n try to work things out with each other like nothing heppen.... Gezz ...
Parents are trash. Why aren't they meeting her away from the house. There is no trying to reach out to her to stay in her life. Hope the daughter gets better people in her life now.
Story 1: OP really shows she never cared about her daughter, she cared more about her son and her family’s image. You never once was really mad at your son you just cared about his mental well being over your daughters well being.
As a parent honestly this is a nightmare. It’s easy to criticize when it’s not us this coming from a victim of SA as a child as well but Damn I feel so bad for the daughter primarily Oh and now story 2 comes in to piss me off more ffs man what’s with these so called “parents”?!
story one. The daughter has made her decision. She will not change her mind. Unless the mother accepts her decision and quit pressuring the daughter she will lose her daughter permenently.
Imagine a wife think her husband would be ok with her being with other dudes lol If someone ask for a break, the relationship is over and not worth saving.
1st yta leave the daughter in forgiveness on her terms 2nd yta ur a good aunt to nephew 💙 brother is the ass 3rd nta she's feeling sorry after the actions weren't hidden so now shes crying a river 😢 consequences have this outcome
Last story. So she's offering you a free pass to do what you want? Neat, obviously that means she's okay with the divorce. Oh that's not what she meant? Well weasel words work both ways lady.
What a cruel step family! He is better rid of that flock of harpies. They probably didn't exhibit negative behavior in front of Jamie's dad. Poor kid must have been in hell.
Story 1: Firstly Op wrote that the son of handedly remarked on the SA of his sister to others that didn't and shouldn't know. Now in the update OP wrote the son joked about it, which is even worse than it already is. Makes it even more understandable why the daughter doesn't want anything to do with that brother of hers.
It feels a little as if OP is more concerned how the relationship between her children might look to others. Op needs to accept that this relationship might be broken for ever and if she can't and tries to meddle that she will loose her daughter too.
I think that really is the core problem. OP cares more about how it looks and how she feels as a parent and isn't thinking about how her daughter, the actual victim, feels. If anything, trying to get them to reconcile and force the relationship makes it less likely she ever does.
💯👍🏿
When op says flippantly that I think means joking so she kind of said it in the first post too that the brother was joking,
But I agree she shouldn't be forced to talk to her brother
I wonder what they should do now if the relationship between her 2 children is permanently irreparable? How should she move forward going on?
I feel the absolute worst thing now is to cause further resentment or let it fester. If it does, then it could be over for all involved, not just between brother and sister.
That's a common issue for many of these stories about Family Relationships. The Parents are always more worried about how they look. Often times that's the reason for the bad relationship.
I like how the story 1 Op completely disregarded all the valid advice given to her on redit, where she was looking for advice to begin with, and lost her daughter as a result of it. Just goes to show, she wasn't actually looking for advice, she was looking for reassurances that she was doing the right thing and her horribly traumatized daughter was in the wrong.
That's cause they weren't advising her on how to effectively force the reconciliation, they were advising her on how to be a decent parent
Worse thing is once it backfired she started the update with “my son didn’t tell his friends like a fact he joked about it” like you can see now she doesn’t give a fuck
S1 OP constantly griping about paying for therapy after causing her daughter to need more therapy is hilarious.
In a really horribly tragic kinda way, yeah.
I have something similar to the first story in my life. My older sister has not spoken to either of our parents in literally years, because they either caused mental trauma or protected someone they were with when they caused drama. I have, on a few rare occasions, like once every few years, prodded my sister to see if she might want to reopen the lines of communication, but when she says “no”, I leave it alone. Reconciliation could happen at some point in time, but I am fully aware that it needs to be on her terms; something the mother of the story seems to be struggling to understand.
Also, I love how the mother comments on her daughters therapist being so concerned about the daughters mental wellbeing; I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Wow, great job figuring out how to tell everyone you don’t care about your daughters mental health without saying you don’t care.”
I'm just sitting here wondering. What was the brother and his friends doing and talking about that would lead to him just spouting all that.
Story 1, slight observation for all of you if you missed it. When OP first mentioned her daughters SA notice she said “he let it slip” in the update she said “joked about his sisters SA”.
Story 1: Oh so OP lied. He didn't just make a remark about his own sister's SA. He was making an edgy "joke" about it. That is disgusting and OP expecting her to forgive him is disgusting.
Let's be 100% real. If OP of Story 2 hadn't thrown dad under the bus and told his son the truth, none of that stuff would've been returned. It had to blow up to get it all back.
If rightfully telling your nephew that his dad allowed his mom and sisters to either sell or destroy the remaining memories of your dead relative is what you consider "throwing under the bus". The nephew still didn't get all of his stuff back, and was only left with two rings and a necklace
Son accidentally told two people about his sister's SA....turned into son told a group about his sister's SA in an effort to be edgy .....oh yeah son did it deliberately and mommy dearest makes excuses and tells one sided half truths . He is all upset now ...boohoo. I'm sorry but this is disgusting . Op cares more about her son's feefees and trying to make his sister forgive and accept him again . Doubt that's going to happen but don't worry son your mommy will keep enabling your BS
@@Pence128My brothers were idiots when they were 14. That's sort of expected. But there are lines you don't cross, and he crossed them. If she can't forgive that, then no one else should be trying to convince her otherwise.
I don’t think OP has any clue to the reasons son told about how his sister was harmed, which is why OP was all over the place with the details. I’m wondering if OP ever had a talk with the son about how badly his sister was harmed (doesn’t need details) and how every day she hears or sees something that adds to her pain so that is not something to discuss with anyone. I’m thinking both parents screwed up royally on this one. The daughter needs the 3rd party therapist, who is only concerned with the daughter, to handle this. Daughter desperately needs an advocate.
@@hopelessromantic3786everybody is an idiot at 14. Some well-behaved idiots but they're still idiots. That being said, even an idiot knows not to say or do certain things.
OP gripes about how expensive therapy is for her daughter, but doesn't bring up expense when talking about her son's therapy and meds to help him with his poor feelings being hurt from his own actions.
S1: I don't like OP just because she wants the counselor to tell her what her daughter has been telling them. If the daughter doesn't want her to know, but OP wants to know and is pushing, she's not concerned about her daughter. She's concerned about her image. With how young the son is, he should have never learned anything about the daughter's SA unless it was absolutely required. That way he could have said anything and earned this hatred from his sister.
I mean listen closely, she calls her daughter "She" and calling him "My son" everytime. It's pretty clear who's the golden child here.
I don't think that's a fair assessment.
Freudian slip
Riiiiggghhttt…
He refers to his son as "he" many times, too.
How do you know that "she" is her daughter? Right.
I find it very concerning that OP didn't say he "joked" about her assault in her initial post. Like she just slipped that in. It wasn't a mistake either. He told his buddies for fun, which means he put thought into it. What the hell did they think would happen??
That’s trickle-truthing for you
He probably thought Mrs.Mommy would force his sister to forgive him. Might be a pattern.
That poor girl. My own twin brother sa d me, mother has known for YEARS, but he's the golden child, so there you go
What did you do after that ?
Jesus Christ, your twin?! That’s so fucked up, I’m so sorry you went through that
@@amberluppens3292 yeah well, she had four kids, but apparently only has one, guess which?
@@claireadams6214I hope you were able to escape and build a new life
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 married and divorced two deadbeats, two amazing kids tho. Physically falling apart, but still alive!
1st op failed to protect her daughter from sexual assault than failed to teach his son basic manners as her brother he was suppose to protect his sister but he digged her wounds. And now instead of giving her space they all are forcing her to maintain relationships. Wow God help that girl .
That first sentence is a bit harsh, there are sadly some things in this world you cant protect people from.
You arent going to be around your family 24/7, and this was apparently a family member that did it, someone you would likely trust, which makes the story sadder.
@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist Girl, shut up.
FOR REAL!!
I am about to write about my SA experience. I had two big brothers and one big sister when I was around 6 years old my eldest brother started grooming me(he was a pre teen when it started). When I was 8 years old he bribed me with a toy to get naked honestly I didn’t really think anything about it until he started touching me and I told him to stop he did that time, but he refused to give me the toy. I was very angry both about the toy and the fact he touched me( I’m autistic, so I don’t really like being touched by people until it’s like a hug from my Mom though it also depended on her clothes since some materials made my skin itchy). I started to distance myself from him, but then he got a million times worse. He came up with a game about my body and what he wanted to see of it and other stuff with code words. I would be at dinner and he would torment me with the game. He would chase me all day to while I kept screaming and crying for somebody to help me, but my parents couldn’t have cared less( I was neglected as a child because I was ‘too dramatic’) as he chased me he used his code with to tell me which parts of my clothes he was go to forcefully take off as soon as he got a hold of me. It took two weeks of that until he finally managed to catch me( I managed to hide behind my other big brother a lot. He was the only one who seemed to understand something was going on.) I managed to crawl away while trying to get him off me. I managed to grab something and hit him with it hard enough that he lost him grip and I managed to get to my other big brother(Aden) and I immediately told him that ACH(I’m just going to use his initials) was touching me( I was 8 I didn’t really understand what was going on and what he was trying to do to me. All I knew how to say is he was touching my private area and I didn’t like it). My brother called Mom and Dad and told them what was going on and ACH got yelled at and spanked, but other than that they did nothing to protect me from him. He was a little more careful when my parents were home, but that was it. My parents made me promise not to tell anyone because it would ruin his life. My brother the only brother I consider my actual brother did his best to always be my side as much as he could to protect me, but he was only 10 there was only so much he could do. I eventually reached another breaking point at school and I told my teacher about it. DCFS was called, but nothing much changed besides the face me and my siblings were not to be left alone for a year. However my Mom didn’t really pay much attention to me cause she said I was too dramatic and was probably exaggerating and my Dad believed the same thing. I lost all trust and respect for my parents especially when my Mom said at least nothing worse happened and that it’s the past and to forget and move on. My Dad was even worse than her he completely favored him in every way and everything was always my fault my brother and my sister when she visited did their best to be there for me, but my sister eventually said I was just being a big baby and worse. Honestly the only thing making me not want to unalive myself was my burning hatred for everyone except my brother Aden plus my dog Bella and my cat which always did their best to comfort me( also I was also bullied at school too, and the teachers would always blame me for it too). I never really got justice because the police and my parents didn’t want to ruin a young man’s life. Honestly even though he left when he graduated high school ( which was conveniently when my parents started to give a half a fuck about me because their ACH was gone). Honestly he is disowned now after I went to therapy in high school and my therapist said that one I wasn’t lying for attention and two that she was only trained to help people with anxiety. And that I needed a lot more help. Honestly my parents say they are sorry for my childhood, but my dad recently said that he thinks he did a pretty good job. And my mother refuses to go to therapy with my because it was almost 6 years ago and I should just move on already. Honestly I feel suffocated.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents fail to protect their kids, especially if they have a vested interest inprotectimg or placating the wrongdoer, or they just don't want to deal with acknowledging that kind of life shattering trauma. They say bs like, "I don't want to think that could happen." Or "It was so long ago, can't you just move on?" A depressing number of people think children are their property or girls are an acceptable loss. F these fail parents and their scumbag son.
For story one all I heard from the OP is that she cares more about her son and his feelings then she does about the daughter and what the daughter is going through being re-traumatized after such a traumatizing event I don’t blame her for cutting op off.
I think OP is more or less trying to figure out how to create a normal functioning at least halfway happy normal family.
Which is sadly just something that isjt going to happen, but I’d say its an understandable desire?
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist Shut up! My God.
@@S.Uranus
Excuse me for making an observation.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwistno, your observation is completely wrong though. She's more worried about how it looks. She talks more about her feelings and her son's feelings. Then she does the daughter's feelings. There's a clear favorite in this situation and she clearly has issues with people viewing her family as anything other than perfect. There's no innocent take to this op
@@XFizzlepop-BerrytwistNo she’s trying to downplay everything, she cares more about her son and his feelings over her daughter.
Ok.. so if she was SA'd as a child... and is now 17, why the f*ck does the 14 year old even know about the SA, that's something he should have never even been told about at least until he became and adult and only he his sister if & when she wanted to tell him and no-one else should have told him
She's only 3 years older than him, so depending on the age she was he would have been aware of it or told so he understood why his sister was struggling.
Op said there was a trial because the offender is in prison... Kinda hard to hide this I think, especially when those things drag around for years...
She was SA'd by their family member when she was 10& he was 7. Not only was there a trial they most likely not just talked about the basics of what happened because he couldn't be around that family member anymore & they probably had to question him as a kid BK then once her assault came to light to make sure he wasn't harmed by the same family member. Plenty of siblings know about their sibling's S A as a kid/ teen they just have common sense & decency to not go around telling ppl & making jokes about it
Why wouldn't he know?!?!? It was a traumatizing event that happened to his sister. He lives in the same home. Be sensible.
Probably because he would have been questioned if the person had done any inappropriate things to him
Story 1: Goes on and on and on about the trauma of the brother... And wonders why her daughter has locked her out of her life.
Fr
Story 1: mom is minimizing what little brother said about his sister's horrible trauma. It wasn't a flip, offhanded remark. It was bad enough for her to cut him off forever. No wonder she's starting to cut parents off as well, because mom has excused him and expects her to do so as well. For her comfort. That sucks.
Story 1: Why was OP's son blabbing away to his friends about his sisters SA anyways? What business was it of theirs to know about that?
Story 1: 'I worry that if I push her, she will cut contact with us' and then proceeds to literally push her to the point she has to cur contact. OP and the dad just sounds like they dont want to have to deal with the daughter's trauma anymore, and think SHE, THR VICTIM, should just let go of this pain for the sake of everyone else. I have a young brother and I can't imagine him commenting on something so personal about any of us. OP is actually downplaying how much of a betrayal that was.
Story 2: OP is not his brother's magical-fix-go-to especially after Jaime's father was being so utterly selfish and downplaying the suffering and needs of his own child. Once again, parents not acting like they have more than one kid.
S1: the son opened his mouth and spoke about a traumatic event in DD’s life a event she keeps private and doesn’t want other to know and son blabbed. So it’s his punishment of being a ghost to his sister may this will be a lesson to not run his mouth. And OP forcing reconciliation is a bad moved and just leave/accept her kids will not interact and if DD does want to reconnect let it be done on her terms and pace
1st story,Yta. U let your son victimize his sister all over again and then wanna have a surprise Pikachu face when she cut both u and him out of her life! U deserve everything you got. 2nd story,Nta. Glad you got your nephew's back. Your brother just completely broke any trust his son had in him for a long time
St 1. The daughter sees her brother as another man violating her and she should.
For story 3 the ops ex is gross,
she claims he can't sleep around,
Then sleeps around herself?
She sucks i am glad op left her.
The classic "Do as I say, Not as I do" situation! 7 men? She turned into an absolute hoe!
Even his therapist tell him to leave her. That speaks volumes. Almost all therapist will work to put you in the right headspace to make your own decision but when they themselves told you what decision it is to take, then you must have a tactical nuke coming your way.
Story 1: OP was told not to force a reconciliation, but did it anyway. And now she has no daughter.
Her savior complex cost OP her "happy family", i hope it was worth it
I think OP is more or less trying to figure out how to create a normal functioning at least halfway happy normal family.
Which is sadly just something that isjt going to happen, but I’d say its an understandable desire?
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist no... OP just wants to play "Happy Family" at the expense of her daughter's mental heath and boundry setting.
She is being selfish.
@@RandomTrinidadian
I agree with you, my statement didnt contradict what you have said at all.
OP wants to create a happy family.
But it wont happen, which is somewhat sad, especially for the daughter, who went through something terrible no one deserves.
The brother was young and stupid for sure.
But could you imagine being a parent in such a situation? No parent wants their kids to hate each other for life, and they did punish the brother for nearly a year, and the sister got upset at that, her feelings are valid but what would she want to happen, they keep punishing the brother for the rest of his life as well?
She went through something terrible, 100%, but she definitely has trouble communicating about her wants, and desires.
Which is understandable, its a shitty situation, something like that happened to me, I might just shut down as well, I struggle to see a clear answer and solution to the issue at hand.
OP clearly didnt want her daughter to hate her brother for all of eternity, from age 14? To and through adulthood.
The poor girl, I hope she can live a happy life.
@@XFizzlepop-Berrytwistsounds like you trying to shame the daughter for keeping up some boundaries.
OP daughter has made it very clear she wants nothing to do with her brother, but OP still thinks that her daughter should 'forgive" him cause it's gonna magically fix everything. If OP actually made the same effort in respecting her daughter boundaries, as she did with trying to get her to forgive her brother, then maybe her daughter would not have gone low contact. But nope, she wants happy family, boundaries be damned. The brother is now a victim cause he has been "punished enough" and the daughter needs to get over it.
@@RandomTrinidadian
I’m not blaming the daughter, I was just explaining what OP wanted, A happy family.
What is the solution to create that? I’m not sure.
But also is the daughter going to hate her brother for the rest of his life for an admittedly terrible thing he said at 14?
We all make or say dumb stuff or do dumb things at younger ages?
The daughter is definitely right to feel hurt or betrayed.
The brother was grounded for a year, and when the parents stopped grounding him she was upset.
Again I was asking what exactly it was she wanted from the parents? She refuses to speak at all to anyone.
I wont blame her for what happened, but when someone refuses to communicate or express anything, it does become a lot harder to help or fix anything.
I dont think you really addressed any of the points or questions I asked?
Her boundaries are important, yes.
But do you just continue to punish the brother for eternity? If you are the parent what are you going to do, is what I’m asking?
I have no clue for a solution to the problem, but doing nothing isnt going to help?
story one: The son only has himself to blame i don't feel bad for him at all but i do feel sorry for the daughter .
Story 3 this is the first time I see a counselor do its job and safeguard the mental health of his patients. If he didn't speak to op he would've forgiven her and returned to the toxic relationship cycle
Story 1: Like others have said, it appears OP is more concerned with the optics of having a happy family instead of actually having a happy family. The brother nuked his relationship with his sister. If she doesn't want to have one with him in the future, that's her decision and no one else's. You don't get to stab someone in the back one day and act like nothing happened the next. He belittled and laughed about the most traumatic and painful experience of her young life like it was nothing and shared it with others. Disgusting.
Story 2: Everyone in the family is upset with OP'S interference, but if she hadn't, none of those items would have been returned. Also, if the spineless jellyfish brother had exercised even a smidgen of his responsibility as a father to his son, this story wouldn't exist, so 🤷. He deserves to be exposed for the twat that he is.
Story 3: W counselor. She recognized Tina's BS from a mile away. She knew exactly what she was doing when she laid out the rules of the separation and her wording of them. She wanted to get her bell rung by other men while OP did all the work. STBXW can kick rocks and play her games with someone else.
A mistake is picking up the salt, instead of the sugar; joking about ones sisters sa, is deliberate!!! He was old enough to know better!!rekwife
In the first story, stop defending him. He should be made to know how he broke the family up. You need to let him know he did this, and you'll never get the family tou had back. Dont push the daughter or you'll fully lose her for ever. Stop playing down what he did. If he wanted to play games he wins stupid prizes. Hes your golden child.
Lol, OP 1 is a laughable disgrace. I'm glad her daughter doesn't want shit to do with OP, or her brother.
Councelor tells op to not push on it repeatedly, OP pushes on it. Daughter cuts contact with OP, OP shocked Pikachu face...
Story 1 OP is obsolutely YTA!
Fourteen is old enough to know to keep his mouth shut.
S1: Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. In the original post, OP said the brother just told his friends about it. Then in the update, she said he was JOKING WITH FRIENDS IN AN ATTEMPT TO SEEM EDGY. Wth, OP?! No wonder sister doesn't want anything to do with her brother! He basically made a mockery of her SA! And you want to force reconciliation so he won't 'feel alone'? Last time I checked, that's pretty much the definition of punishment. Which he deserves for making fun of his sister's very real trauma. Definitely, YTA.
S1- Oh no, the consequences of my actions.
Op is so self centred in firdt story and no matter how much she denies this fact but the truth is she loves her son more then she ever did to her own daughter. She wasn't ready to accept that her daughter is mentally traumatized for life actually. Childhood SA by close people will make a lifetime impact on you and i never find any patient recovering from it 100%. She is keep talking about how her son is depressed like daughter was dancing 😢
"I'm worried if I keep interfering, she'll cut me out too"
*OP continues interfering anyways, gets cut out, makes Pikachu face*
Stupid
Op 1 : you shouldn't be parents. You should ashamed of yourself. You field your daughter twice. I wouldn't be surprised if they cut contact with you and you gonna be alone forever
Your son is an enormous AH. Sometimes you can’t fix what you’ve broken. Your son is suffering from the consequences of his actions! What reason in the world would he have to spread this around. That’s not an accident. You seem more interested in your son’s feelings than your daughter’s. She is entitled to separate from him.
Mom, back off, this isn’t about your “heartbreak”. He betrayed her, BADLY, she may never forgive him. If she’s neurodivergent, that may be a jump she can’t clear. She was victimized by the perp then your son. Don’t blow it.
Story 1 and 2 parents have failed their children.
Story 1: the brother is 14. He knew what he was doing. Eff him, and OP.
OP’s response in this is to lock the AH son in the house with the victim?
OP doesn’t to realize that the son has done the second worse thing she’s ever experienced to the daughter, and it’s not a long second, it’s far too close.
He son ever been told he did this, and he has to cope, because she has no obligation or reasonable need to ever forgive him?
As far as the one commenter telling OP to tell the son he has to figure out how to make it right - that’s wrong.
He needs to be told he can try to make things right, but it might not be possible, and he can’t force it, and if he can’t make it right, he just have to live with that.
Story 2: OP’s brother can pound sand. He was useless.
Regarding the jewelry, there’s probably a list of what there was and what was missing or destroyed - report it to the police and see those crazy Bs
Story 1 the brother is clearly the golden child in this story he told his friends stuff he shouldn't have and hurt his sister she doesn't have to have a relationship or forgive him and I don't blame her if she doesn't OP needs to wake up and realise her son is the issue and caused all this
1st OP is the AH
Parents have this image in their head of the "perfect family"
Or they want it to go back to "how it used to be"
NEVER do that
Things are gonna change! Accept it!
Leave her tf alone
The fact that she left early is your son's fault and the fact that you're trying to push her out
And then trying to push him out so your daughter can stay?!
You are a TERRIBLE parent.
You are thinking that how you're "punishing" him is enough
He devastated her.
I have been raped and abused. The only person who should tell someone is me.
I swear if someone let this out to my job or a large group of people who knew me, I would absolutely lose it.
I would do worse to the family.
He needs to learn that there are SEVERE consequences. He's suffering because of what HE did
She didn't do anything wrong.
HE did
Let him be depressed. Go to therapy with him but leave her out of it.
Yes he does need help. No he shouldn't be neglected.
You need to help him through it without trying to brush it under the rug by forcing anything
I cut out friend and family who were toxic. People who would hurt me like this.
I swear these parents are selfish. Only caring about they feel and the son
So true❤
Story 1: mom is minimizing what little brother said about his sister's horrible trauma. It wasn't a flip, offhanded remark. It was bad enough for her to cut him off forever. No wonder she's starting to cut parents off as well, because mom has excused him and expects her to do so as well. For her comfort. That sucks.
S1: DD shouldn't have to deal with a family like this. I bet OP either knew the family member was a creep or ignored the signs. Now OP thinks DS's feelings matter more than DD. Yes DS is a kid, but DD is also a kid and DS is old enough to not joke about the sa of his own sister.
How the mother worded it when saying that the therapist of her daughter won't speak with her about the therapy sounds so entitled. Has she understood that kids are not her property? Her daughter is an independent human with rights. I hope OPs daughter cuts out all the toxicity out of her live when she is 18. I wish her the best!
I faced something similar. I am a 74 year old gay man, who has never told family or friends. I have always answered truthfully if anyone had the nerve to ask. Anyway, when I came home for the summer between sophomore and junior year of college, a friend called me and said come over. So I went across the street to her apartment, where she began to tell me; "Your sister told a different girl across the street, that the reason I would not go out with her was because I liked the boys in the band". I was furious with my sister since, she had never asked me or anything about something like this. We were never friends after that. I would talk to her but we weren't friends and I would never help her out. She is no longer here and I very rarely think about her.
Story 2: OP’s brother can pound sand. He was useless.
Regarding the jewelry, there’s probably a list of what there was and what was missing or destroyed - report it to the police and see those crazy Bs
Last story : she knew exactly what the deal was, and threw a fit when she realized OP might mess around, because she was already planning to.
Story 1: the parent is clearly the problem. He's sincerely sorry that he's suffering long lasting repercussions. It's not mentally healthy for the daughter to be betrayed and experience a relapse in her recovery. The OP's daughter is not interested in reconciliation with a brother who would use her SA as an ice breaker. How is that not clicking. The parent has made it very clear that the son's happiness is the most important priority so she should cherish that and hope he's going to take care of the parents in old age.
I wonder if the genders were reversed would OP still feel the same way
S2, get a lawyer and sue her
S1, in your whole not once did I hear you say your son apologized
Actually, the son did apologize.
She did make claims that the brother, quote, “tried daily to talk to her and apologized, begged, pleaded and cried.”
Maybe, somewhere down the line, the daughter could forgive the brother for his stupidity, but right now, she is still hurting and the only effect the mother is causing is a painful reminder that a sibling, someone who is SUPPOSED TO protect her, was the betrayer. Mom needs to get over this obsession with her family dynamic being disrupted and not only let her daughter heal, but push back against the son from continuously trying to force reconciliation.
The son did apologize the daughter has the right not to forgive him.
Haven't spoken to my mother's child in 10 years for less. Sometimes it's just over.
You can’t force forgiveness especially with when he joked about her SA. Disgusting. She had every right to be angry and Op isn’t helping by forcing them to play “happy family”.
1st story. Golden child issues. Moms pushing to get her daughter to forgive her sons stupidity exposing her SA, on top of that make a joke about that traumatic experience?? Why are you doing this to her. You're a terrible mother…!! She has no obligation to do Anything YOU want.
Story 1 - OP YTA - What you are failing to see in this situation is that YOUR daughter is feeling like she has SA all over again. Because of HER brother now EVERYBODY knows about the pain, hurt and shame that your daughter had to go through because of something so vile as SA. He destroyed all your daughter's progress just for gossip and giggles. Would you be okay with your daughter having a friendship/relationship with her abuser? NO, right? So, what makes you think that because it is her brother who hurt her so deeply this time, HE should get a pass and his sister's forgiveness. Only time will tell IF your daughter EVER finds it in her heart to forgive her brother. Stop trying to fix something that it is NOT yours to fix. Yes, the situation suck, but the more you push, you are bound to lose your daughter.
She first said her son just told it to friends in a passing comment but either OP slips up or she comes clean and admits that her son told is as a joke to be edgy which is just so much worse, he did it maliciously. Now OP is upset her son is crying and facing the consequences of his actions while her daughters life got destroyed again.
I hope the daughter gets a proper and sincere apology from the mother and she's happy with no contact to the brother.
Last story... she's a narcissist. She will never change and continue making you feel guilty for things she did. RUN!
"It wasn't malicious" idk even at 14 I knew better than to spread word about someone, especially my own sister's, SA...idk what else that could be aside from malice or he's so coddled by OP he's literally too emotionally stunted to know better....
First story: the son is an idiot. Some things are unforgivable. Leave the daughter alone. You are favoring the son. Where is your support for the daughter? You can't force her to go to therapy, etc.
Story 1. Some things are unforgivable. You cared nothing but what this has done to your son. I’m with your daughter. Both of you are dead to her by your own selfish actions. Both of you.
Story 1. They have lost the daughter. She won’t come home because she doesn’t feel safe.
when someone stonewalls you like that, it says something.
Story 01: OP clearly cares more about her son's "discomfort" than her daughters full on trauma.
She should be ashamed of her self. No 14 yo should be JOKING about their siblings SA.
Story 1: You are a failure OP.
S3 - wife couldn’t be more of an AH if she tried. They separated for 1 yr and she had sex with 7 people and thought she did everything right? I keep seeing that one Friends episode, where Ross and Rachel took a break during which Ross found someone and had a relationship. When Rachel found out and said she wouldn’t get back together because he had a fling, Ross just shouted “We were on a break.” If you take a break so you can reflect on how your relationship became so broken, going out and having multiple other relationships leaves very little time for reflection. All it is , is looking for something better but in case of failure, you still have the partner you separated from.
Why aren't you considering that you are the AH? You are protecting and making him the golden child., when you failed your daughter by minimalizing her trauma and making her the problem.
You know what I heard in story 1? My son, my son, my son, my son, my son, my daughter won't speak to my son, my son, my son, etc, ,,,
S1: OP is more worried about son then daughter. Like bro did something unforgivable. Will have to live with that made her senior year hell. INstead of taking that shame finding ways to make amends and dealing with maybe he can't. They are letting him be a complete ass.
3) it really makes sense that a divorce was necessary in this case.
(OP) I know she has every right to be furious..... That should have been the end of that sentence!.
Story 3.... If ur gonna separate in a relationship just to need space from each other doesn't mean u go n fcuk others n come back n try to work things out with each other like nothing heppen.... Gezz ...
Parents are trash. Why aren't they meeting her away from the house. There is no trying to reach out to her to stay in her life. Hope the daughter gets better people in her life now.
Story 1,stop making this about you.
Please cover the waltzing jocosta next Please!
Tell you what. You want it reconciled? You invented a counciling that makes her feel like she was never wronged.
Terrible parenting.
SEVEN MEN in a year?! What a 304.
But it's ok for men to have multiple women?
Story 1: OP really shows she never cared about her daughter, she cared more about her son and her family’s image. You never once was really mad at your son you just cared about his mental well being over your daughters well being.
Is it the new do it for dan? Gosh. Better has no parent than has parent like the mother.
As a parent honestly this is a nightmare. It’s easy to criticize when it’s not us this coming from a victim of SA as a child as well but Damn I feel so bad for the daughter primarily
Oh and now story 2 comes in to piss me off more ffs man what’s with these so called “parents”?!
story 2 , THE BROTHER RUINED HIS RELATIONSHIP WOTHBHIS CHILD BC HE DECIDED TO UPHOLD HIS WIFES BS
story one. The daughter has made her decision. She will not change her mind. Unless the mother accepts her decision and quit pressuring the daughter she will lose her daughter permenently.
Story 2. Get a locking chest to store all his stuff. Keep it at your place no matter if he moves back with your brother.
1st story OP can't force her daughter to reconcile until she is ready to, forcing it will result in her going NC with everyone.
Imagine a wife think her husband would be ok with her being with other dudes lol
If someone ask for a break, the relationship is over and not worth saving.
1st yta leave the daughter in forgiveness on her terms
2nd yta ur a good aunt to nephew 💙 brother is the ass
3rd nta she's feeling sorry after the actions weren't hidden so now shes crying a river 😢 consequences have this outcome
I cant watch these videos. I get a massive headache and feel ill.
Last story.
So she's offering you a free pass to do what you want? Neat, obviously that means she's okay with the divorce. Oh that's not what she meant? Well weasel words work both ways lady.
What a cruel step family! He is better rid of that flock of harpies. They probably didn't exhibit negative behavior in front of Jamie's dad. Poor kid must have been in hell.
Oh, they exhibited it. Dad just didn't want to see it.
Naw the op in story 3 needs 2 end it she for the streets let it go n never talk 2 her n till everyone what she did now b4 she said it all on u
Story 1: gahh! OP is pissing me off. So much more concern for the son and siblings relationship & so little for the daughter and her situation. 😢🤬
Clickbait title. Reconciliation was never forced and OP was never cut off
Her son wanted to be "edgy" and got the consequences of his actions. If you can't handle the consequences of what you said/did don't try to be edgy
Daughter needs to get over herself
Explain please!!
How he joked about her sa to a group of people. He’s 14 not 5
OP needs to get over herself
@@margaretrothrockHe won’t because Calories is a coward
@Only1199 I know just wanted to hear so we could properly debunk him
W son and parents L daughter