My 20s are not going according to plan |
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- Опубликовано: 13 фев 2023
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Cool thoughts Nathaniel! Thanks for sharing. Personally I prefer the audio only version of your podcast ( spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/li2E41FFpxb ) because your drawing skills are weak tbh but 5/5 for effort.
My friends, I'm almost 60 and still clueless about my life direction..)
I was going to comment the same thing! My friends and I are in our 40s and 50s and we are still clueless. :)
Amen. I'm a few years younger but hell i feel like a new born.
And, sometimes at 60 we think our life is stable and set and some major unexpected change takes place that we have no control over.
🙋 48 and just starting to figure it out myself!
Then what color is your buggati😂
The biggest lesson I’ve learnt (so far) is to not have expectations. That doesn’t mean not having goals/hopes/dreams, it just means not adding (unnecessary) pressure. Life is much more enjoyable that way.
I’m starting to realise that expecting things to work out well and catastrophising things are just different shades of ignorance because really we can’t really be 100% sure about what’s going to happen and predictions can and do fail. Positive and negative expectations come from our desire to control, which ultimately comes from fear. I’ve come to realise that I was a very fearful person, and my expectations (both good and bad) and the added pressure that came with them, made me unable to enjoy life more freely, with a more lighthearted approach.
Now, I’m trying to be aware of my patterns. I’ve had more than a slice of humble pie and I’m accepting my limitations, not in a self-defeating sense, but in a “thank God I don’t have to control everything” sense. Life has been peaceful and I’ve been enjoying the days when I feel like everything’s possible, the days when I feel like a failure, and the blissfully uneventful ones in between that are just as important.
Thank you, Nathan, for this food for thought. I wish you well man! 😄
I love your comment! Thank you for adding some more value! This comment section is amazing...🙌
As a 28 year old, I now realise that it's okay if things don't go according to plan. And instead of a map, I should have a compass to guide me to my true north.
Absolutely loved this, Nathaniel! Keep these conversations coming!💖
I'm 31, and I have to say that my early to mid-20s was a disaster. It was more of a period of personal growth and figuring out who I was and what I wanted to become than actual stability in terms of finances, relationships, career growth, etc. However, once I entered into my late 20s (about 28+), I started seeing exponential growth in those areas BECAUSE I had the time for personal growth in my early and mid-20s. Things do get better from where you're at. In case you haven't figured this out already, you never fully have your shit together. Being an adult equates to bumbling along the best you can. Nobody really has it all figured out, I promise. :)
I watched this with a smirk on my face. I'm turning 60 in a couple months and, man, I thought I have everything figured out. Sheesh. Nothing is how I expected it. It's so much better!! Trust in God to take you where you need to go. In other words, don't plan too much. Keep doing what you're doing - and don't be afraid to veer off course. Life is a blast!
Great videos as always! 😁 in my 30s here! When I was 21-22 I never imagined that I would quit my career as a designer, even if I considered myself successful, quit a very long relationship and move to the mountains to work on a farm and start a youtube channel. Really, life is a roulette.
"Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future." ~Niels Bohr, a smart person.
Ton regard face caméra et ta posture donnent l'impression d'une conversation réelle: comme si tu échange une conversation avec un ami assis tous les deux à la même table, on oublie le facteur écran et c'est assez unique ✨
Bravo pour le sujet, "on point " ✨
I guess when you start trying to plan the direction your life goes towards the universe finds its ways to show how little control you have over it. It’s a learning process for sure. Loved this format and found your thoughts so relatable!
Also, being in freelance/creative field you always go through periods of working hard and not working hard and for me when I’m working my hardest I’m super burnt out and then once the break comes - for example I have a 3 month layoff before my next gig - I feel so lost and anxious like I should be doing something…even though this is technically my reward for all the hard work. It’s true mental gymnastics at times trying to figure out when to push and when to rest. 12:24
No one’s life goes according to plan. And worrying about it needlessly, constantly is the hallmark of your 20s. So you’re on the right track.
There's an idea I either heard or read somewhere about science being like the circumference of a circle. Everything inside the circle is what we know, and everything outside of it is stuff we don't yet know. As we learn more, so too does the amount of things we know we don't know. Maybe a similar thing applies to self-knowledge? As a fellow 20-something, with every passing year I grow more knowledgeable about myself, and also realize how much there is that I don't know. But part of growing up is being okay with all that space outside of the circle.
Good video. Never loose that touch of humility and authenticity that keeps us all coming back.
As a person who is stepping into his twenties I really believe that this was very insightful for me and it would be great if you continue this series
Me, currently, 23 and receiving a humble pie 😳 lmao this is an amazing episode! So glad you include the video form as well, the drawings really made the episode 👌🤣❤
I'd say stability doesn't come from your life but from your inner peace and balance. Which is great as it's something you can train and can carry with you regardless of whatever is going on in your life - in a way your mindset is the only stability in your life. I've recently enjoyed practicing anchoring my mind in the present. It's the single most important thing that has contributed to peace in my mind. Also, I'd at least give your drawing skills a mediocre instead of a weak - maybe for your handwriting a weak though ;)
for me now that I am 25, I just try to do my best, go with the flow, and let the universe take the wheel! I don't wanna control everything no more
My father, the PHD neurochemist, right before he passed at age 60 said “I don’t know nothing”.
While that was such a shock to hear him say and believe when I was 19 yo, it’s becoming more and more relatable at age 40. We all truly are just learning as we flow.
The universe is so huge, we can't possibly understand it all. Also we come at it with our own perspective. As an examples, insects and animals have eyes different from ours that see different colours and different images from what we see. When you realise you know very little, life becomes exciting because you are open and receptive to learnig more and asking questions. As an example, in my 50's I have developed awe and curiosity about plants. Always something to learn there.
As a visual learner myself, i appreciated your drawings … helped me to really feel what you were conveying. Your willingness to be so open in sharing your journey is more inspiring than you know, even for those of us who have completed a few more times around the sun😊. Thank you!
Knowledge takes pride in all it knows,
Wisdom is humbled by all it doesn’t.
Really like this how you are trying to make sense and reveal something about what it is to be alive. Maybe we will get an answer, maybe we don’t. But the important thing is to keep asking the question. 👍
Love the visuals! Def helps to get the idea across My 20s have also not been going as planned so this was very helpful and reassuring
THIS IS SO ACCURATE to my own life, from 22-23 I got my first real design job at a huge design agency, after learning and working my butt off an gaining a ton of new skills, and then after a year of flying probably way to close to the sun, I quit that job and plateaued into my mid twenties. Momentum is so hard to cultivate and once you lose it, it could be gone for a long time.
I think it's so important to be open minded when things don't go according to plan, you never know where else that could take you. Also, diagrams are always an excellent way to underline thoughts and communicate ideas visually!
life is not linear that's for sure. The hardest part is being present. Also love the intro and outro graphics/sound fx!
me siento tan identificada con todo lo que dices, este año cumplo 25 y definitivamente las definiciones de exito cambian. Lo que soñe por muchos años significaba poner mis metas primero sobre mi salud mental y fisica. En este momento sigo soñando y sigo trabajando en mis proyectos pero lograr cosas grandes de manera rapida ya no tiene sentido, tambien mis sueños han cambiado. A veces siento que estoy traicionando a mi yo del pasado, a mi yo de hace unos años que soñaba con otras cosas pero he aprendido en confiar en mi yo del presente, al final es quien ha vivido más cosas y es a quien debo escuchar.
I feel ya. I’ve been through the same thing. But for me, it has been really hard to let go of those dreams I used to wish for in the past even though it doesn’t make sense now in the present.
That old song, “Que será, será…”…is right on. Prepare for good and bad surprises…appreciate the still waters…ride the rapids…and just know, that at some point the boat will fall apart, and what is left will be the love or disappointment in how we navigated the waters. Maybe we can ride again…or, maybe not. Great vlog!
Agree with several older commenters. When I was 20 took a class, essay assignment was to describe life at 60. I wrote one sentence, got an A. You have so much more learning to do, the only thing you absolutely must do is save 25% you earn in diversified portfolio, only buy comfortable durable clothes and keep your car in good working order for 25 yrs. True success is not quantifiable and life isn't about "witnessing" but participating, improving, serving,learning
YES this format is great and helps a lot with my own reflection on my journey. I also think it's great for you to have this type of video to look back on in a decade or so. And your drawing skills are logical and clear and they really add to what you're saying. Thank you!
I really enjoyed this, nice to see you're learning some of the things I've also been learning as I get older (and not necessarily wiser!)
Loved this and it also brings a compassion that volatility is a part of life.
COVID happened right when I turned 19, so everything I wanted to do about moving out, discovering myself, and my plan in college has changed IMMENSELY.
I love this format, please continue with this great videos :D!!!
This is relatable in so many ways. Thank you for creating this.
Thank you, I love the format! Originally I found you through ~"On feeling behind in Life" and I'm very curious, that you're taking a refreshed look at the topics and questions related to that. This is so helpful to a lot of people. All the best to you !
You're not alone, things doesn't go according to our plan.
Be here now is my new plan for future :)
the things that will going to happen will going to happen at the right time .
Thankyou for sharing your perspective ❤️
Hi nathaniel! I’ve been following your channel for more than 4 years now, and I just want to say that what you put out now still resonates with me the same way. I felt invincible for a period of my life, but soon realized that the lifestyle I had then was draining and unsustainable. In the grand scheme of things, we basically don’t know what we’re doing and are on adventure to find out. Thanks for putting stuff out there! It really helps people like me :)
This is super helpful and I love it, also love the hand-drawn graphs!
For me, this video mentions many topics about life and yourself in general. Thanks, best video i've watched in a long time!
Thats actually very relateable for me, even tho Im just seventeen, I feel the changes over time and I really strugle with managing my expectations for the future. But a lot of times I feel alone in this, so thanks for sharing Nathan. Love the content and keep doing what you're doing, don't know anyone better :)
I appreciate this take and how considerate you are of your past self and of the ups and downs of experiencing life. You are excited to learn and stay inquisitive.
Love the format !
This was exactly what I needed to hear right know, thank you. Please continue making videos like that!
Definitely do this again sir, you have my subscription!
Love this. Very insightful and helpful as someone in their 20’s. We have to get comfortable with change 😅
Really enjoyed this! Turning 25 this year and the expectation vs reality piece is always different than what I could ever predict.
loved this video and the visuals! everything you said really resonates from my experience as well as another early 20s person :)
Still learning to become comfortable with this as well, but that it helps to focus on the controlables. The path in life isn’t completely calculated.
Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts, Nathaniel. 💭
Love this format!
Enjoyed your insight and I did like the visuals as well as your articulate explanations. Good food for thought
Yeah, I love this type of video. This is why I subscribed in the first place all those years ago. Much love, Max.
Please continue with these types of videos. As a 20 year old this is really helpful and comforting. I look forward to your future videos man!
loved this format!
I really enjoyed this video Nathan! As a 20 year old, it was really comforting to hear some perspectives from someone who has recently been through this stage of life. The visuals were super cool too! They're always helpful to see. :))
Thanks for such content, facing 30th birthday this year, really makes me think about topics that you presented. I would have to have moment with myself to digest this little bit more 😁
I have also bailed on lot of projects in my 20's (currently), I thought that it would be end of that and I was disappointed that all that work was for nothing. But finding new passions and interests allowed me to realize that I don't think I would have been as happy if I had "made it" doing what I was doing earlier, things I do now seem much more the path I want to be on long term. Great vid talking about this!!
This!! I 100% agree with the “trends” mentioned here. I’m traditionally a project lover who dives into her passions. Now I’m expecting my first child at 30- 31 and my (1) bandwidth and (2) priorities/ goals/ passions have completely changed over the last year. As they say… The only constant in life is change (AKA volatility). I’m beginning to think that the only way to truly “know oneself” is to be aware of these trends and our tendencies towards assumptions about them.
Thanks for the great content and can’t wait to listen to the podcast!
Woahhh
This is sooo cooool
Please don't stop doing this.
Please.
Please!
Great content, this is why I started watching you way back
Great video! Thanks for sharing your insights about this topic 🔥🔥🔥👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Very insightful! Loved the drawings
Making friends with volatility. I definitely needed to hear this from you. I’ve been fighting uncertainty and lack of “normalcy” in my career but what you just said about befriending it is something I’d never given any thought to.
I really liked this video Nathaniel! I was engaged the whole time and it's amazing how similar some of my own internal thought processes have been to yours throughout the last few years. I feel like we're the same age and I relate so hard to having expectations at one age and then facing reality a year later and idk. I'm still trying to work through my own thoughts but please keep this series going 🙏
Thanks so much for sharing!
I would love for this to become a themed video series! One topic that would be interesting is getting comfortable with letting go of outdated ways of being. This is something I am struggling with in my 20s
life is so so so uncontrolled yet we want to have control over everything
im 21 now and like excited for the future.. i just hope it all goes the way I want it to.. but if it doesn't it means it wasn't meant to be the way i wanted it! i think its important to understand that in the end everything works out...
If I could redo my 20's with the info I have now I would redo it in a heartbeat, lol 😆
I feel you, but I guess this is how life goes!!
I could not agree with you more. It sucks and I think about it all the time, but I definitely try not to as I know it'll not change anything
Love the content! Totally agree and I can relate to it. 🙌
Amazing content and format! Keep on sharing your sensitiveness, it helps all of us 🤍
Love this video idea, and the graphics too!
Thank you, I'm here for your philosophical monologues any day
Really liked your comment around expectations. Now in my 40's I think what I've realized is that there is no concrete plan for your life, and there are times when you are thriving...and times when you feel stuck. It's more about learning how to navigate as you go, and learning for the future. I think for a long time coming from a time when there was a push to go to college/work, get a good job, find someone, marriage, ...you get my point, there's a push to put yourself in a box. I think when I settled on the fact I like doing different things, that it's okay to have a variety of different jobs,...I was able to let go of the conventional standards. I'm still learning as I go, and there's a lot of beauty in that. As always, wonderful insight!
Volatility never ends, but it ebbs and flows. I'm 40 now. I thought I had myself sorted out when I was your age. I never could have imagined myself going through the things my 30s brought into my life. It was a time of tremendous pain, but also growth. I didn't think I would make it through those times, but now that I'm on the other side of it, I see how it has changed my life forever. One of my biggest lessons was to surrender to what is. People say things like, "Never give up hope." Yeah, that doesn't apply to every situation. Never give up hope on yourself, that is the only thing that you have. When it comes to other people, you can't help people who don't want to be helped. Holding onto hope just about killed me. Surrender to what is, move forward, and let life sort itself out.
ABSOLUTELY... please continue with this exploration in this context....... You’ll notice at some point that others who are ready and have been waiting to show up to this conversation (if you will) will show up and notice..... And perhaps its appropriate to invite to be recptive to whaat these characters might show up with...... you’re involved in some powerful work mister!
I love this kind of videos!
This makes me feel less alone in life. Thanks man!
I’m 31 now. I feel so different to my early 20’s. I miss the feeling of freedom and youth.
I love this video! I would love to see more of this kind of stuff :)
Loved the visuals!
Yes. More please. I’m twice your age and get so much from your introspection and curiosity. Gives me so much to think about. So yes, more please.
v cool, i wish i had some friends like you nathaniel!! i love thinking about life and i love reflecting and keeping a notebook.
Glad you mentioned the inflation aspect. Was going to comment that the percentage is lower in hindsight often times because we are constantly changing.
Hey Nathaniel. Always like what you have to say. Thanks for your honesty and struggle. Volatility is both hard and what gives us creativity. When we are static, we don't grow or create. And crazy volatility can strike any time in your life ... and will at some point. I am a visual learner and appreciate all your use of visuals. At the same time, I find graphs sometimes helpful but always limiting in what they can say. So many questions about what you are actually graphing! How you are defining things. I know it's good to keep the time tight on your video. (Confession: I have yet to find time to watch your video about the U.S. and "home" from last week that is nearly an hour long.) Still images and words together are so strong. And you are good at that. Thanks!
Yep
21-22.
Career went so fast due to exponential growth
Health was stable
After 23:
Career was stable
Health in General declined so fast.
Self-reflecting during my down days, which includes beating myself up. Realized that having a very high expectation is not healthy but having low expectations then creates exponential growth. Where you don't expect it.
Using all my bandwidth. That's where I struggle with.
I love your thoughts and as I am the same age as you are I can totally agree! Would love to hear more of those ideas and thoughts :)
I really enjoyed this!!!
Hey Nathaniel, great video. I love this kind of content, I'm almost the same age as you and I'm having these kinds of reflections. I'd love to see more!
super helpful insights about bandwidth, and how it changes as we age. really helpful share.
Thank you for making and sharing this Nate! (is ok if I call you Nate? I’m sure it is 😂).
For several years you have been and continue to be a great source of inspiration for my career, and I don’t know if I can put into words how this video/podcast hit me, but it was tremendously helpful!
So once again, thank you for what you do and share with us.
I am older than your mum but I love your channel. Love the way you're reflecting on your awareness which I didn't start doing till much later in my life. At 25 I had just gotten my first mortgage and this changed me from being a fly by day to day live in the moment creature to becoming aware that I had to keep my income to keep my flat. A pressure was added that I didn't have before. I stopped living in the moment from the time I signed for my mortgage. Have you contemplated that ?
your podcast is flourishing
I ant tell you that even as I step into my 60s you still don't know where you are heading. All you can do it take everything one day, and one step, at a time. Becaue where you think you want to be is not necessarily where you will end up being. It's great to some expectations for your future (whether that is tomorrow or ten years from now), but leave room for the surprises life has to offer.
Loved the graphics, if you like it, keep on doing it, it does make things easier to see (ha ha). And just another comment that has nothing to do with that: I have been watching your channel for about like 5 years now, and even though I am a little bit younger than you, it is simply insane to see how the human experience can sometimes be so universal in the sense that one way or another we all end up learning the same lessons in different ways. Or maybe not all of us, just some idk maybe the content I end up listening to and the people I surround myself with are there because there is something that resonates with my own life experience. The thing is that I love that in every single one of your videos you always end up helping me gain clarity on something that has been on my mind or give me a sense of connection with humanity if that makes sense. Anyway, love your content, it will be lovely to keep on watching you grow the next 5 years I hope, I am extremely thankful that you decided to share what´s on you mind with the world, you are making all the difference and inspiring many many people.
Love this
Nathaniel lovey,you are a very relatable person and for one so young you have an insight into life and living that everyone can identify with,old or young,male or female. One element in your life and your generation is the covid lockdown. It changed everyone's life. It "reset" things (!!!). It shifted the colours in the kaleidoscope. John Lennon said "life is what happens when you're planning other things",it's very true.
Like this style of video a lot. Felt very one on one. Saludos de Uruguay 🇺🇾
No one, not even the best planner in the world, can ever hope to plan for more than the next 5 years. So don’t ever think “What do I want to be when I grow up” or “Where do I see myself in the future”, rather ask yourself “What do i hope to do with the next 5 years.” And unfortunately, or fortunately, it will still change…
This speaks to why I don't understand 23 year old life coaches.
The problem is always the IQ from an philosophical standpoint. If you are a feeling and emotional person then your thoughts can be your biggest curse in live. Have you ever wondered why a simple hard working farmer is mostly happy? Does such a person draw maps about his or her life? I also found myself thinking about infinity at a young age. Today I am struggling with all the crap humankind is producing in terms of economy and inventions (creating more problems). By mentioning humans and need to leave out all the native people living in harmony with the planet in a healthy community. They survived without an iPhone and a giant plastic vortex.
To cut it short. The famous Persian philosophier and mathematical genius Omar Chayyām said that it is better to drink wine than reflect to much on things.
Feeling you 100%. Great video, thanks for your openness ❤ Really feeling that the key thing is to enjoy the process of riding roller coasters throughout life I guess (looks like it’s never gonna stop); and personally, feeling held and loved by God, Live, Universe (you name it) no matter the struggles. At least works for me: To know that we’re always guided, and sometimes our advance has to be based on the trust in Him rather than our small limited compass and plans, and that is alright. ¡Abrazos desde España!