I rarely comment on videos but I feel compelled to write for this one because I deeply and heavily relate. Being "too much" and "too intense" has been a thematic struggle of mine. I came to the same conclusions as you, about how the problem with my intensity isn't a a reflection of me but rather a reflection of others. Even with this truth in mind, it's something I've been shamed for on multiple occasions throughout my life so self-acceptance is an uphill battle. Even so, it's nice to have this reminder through the support of a select handful (which I'm still trying to find) and honest videos like these. I always knew I liked your content because of what it reflected in me: existentialism and breaking the status quo through action and questioning. But this video also makes me realize that I was drawn because of your intensity. I'm glad to find a channel like yours. We need more people like us!
I too deeply relate. For me I quickly noticed in my childhood that I was too much for people handle: my curiosity, intelligence, sensitivity, weird quirks. My thoughts were too abstract for them, my desire for emotional depth to uncomfortable for them, my kind and pure heart viewed as a weakness or something to be exploited. But unfortunately in my case I learned to hide who I am from the world as a way of protecting myself and as such it's been a very lonely existence. It's made me apprehensive and sceptical of the world; approaching life with crippling hesitation and reservation. I've been learning to open my heart in the past couple of years, but it's still hard to trust... hard to feel safe in the world
I have gotten, "calm down", "you're too intense" and particularly "you're too sensitive". My passion and sensitivity to life is a gift I realized now at 32 :) I see you, Nathaniel.
I get that a lot too. Especially as a woman, people don't like it when you're curious and "intense". I get told I'm "too much" but like you say, I eventually realized that I don't want to be around people who want me to be less in order to be acceptable to them. There are people who like that I'm intense and interested and curious and I can spend my time and energy around those people.
Learning deep self acceptance, and honoring who I am, even if I was once told my qualities were ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’. I loved this chat, thank you Nathaniel 💕
As someone who is pretty low energy, I've been thinking a lot about my relationships with intense or high energy people lately. It can be very complicated. These people are beautiful and I love how they see and interact with the world. Their energy can help me get out of ruts and I love getting swept up in their passions and helping develop their ideas. However, I'm not always able to keep up with them. So I think it's important to keep in mind that it's just in that moment our energy levels are conflicting. and it's not a problem with me or them, we're just two different, fluctuating and changing people, and sometimes it just doesn't mesh well. Communicating that can be challenging though. Loved hearing your perspective on this and people's in the comments! I can empathise that growing up with a lot of passion would be very hard to stay true to yourself.
as someone who is intense, sensitive and passionate I really enjoy people like you who are low key and go with the flow. i think the key is holding space for and understanding each other and knowing how to communicate effectively. i enjoy being the 'spark' as you have described. but there is also so much value in being around someone who brings calm energy to the table. i enjoyed your honest reply!
It’s crazy how much I relate to this. I also love intense people who love life and want to be better. Some people may hate that but that just means you need to find the right people. Such a great discussion ❤
As a kid I was constantly told to "calm down," "behave," or "act proper" by my mom. And then told by my dad, "speak up" and "stop mumbling." It's taken years to break out of the confused shell that created around me. I'm greatly enjoying the renewed energy in my personality! I'm glad you never let that close you off.
I love how you describe the contrast between your parents and can totally relate, although for me more concerning expectations put on me. It can be wuite disorienting as a child
@@pumpjackpiddlewick Grew up too poor for such diagnoses. Folks divorced within a year; evangelical mother and a rowdy trucker dad. Two very different parents, households, and expectations.
Feeling "too much" in another way is something I can totally relate to! Learning to accept oneself, seeing it as a strength and being surrounded by supportive and like-minded people is really the way to go. It's astounding how much these "well intended" messages from people can do to us in our childhood. It creates a lasting effect and can even lead to developmental trauma. I wish adults knew more about how much their actions and words affect children and hence, would be more conscious!
Your big eyes are what drew me into you. Your intensity is what pulled me in after 1 second of seeing you on Kara and Nate’s video. It is weird how people can have opposite reactions to each other. I love your intensity and presence. Thank you for sharing it in such a vulnerable way💜
This speaks to me. I have always been told this from a very young age and been made out to be the “problem.” As a child we don’t have the capacity or understanding to not absorb that and believe it’s us, believe it’s who we are that’s the problem. I wrote a poem about this last year around this same time. I realized that my being intense was not ever an issue about me, it was an issue for them bc it represented a place they couldn’t go to. I did what they couldn’t, said and dared to feel what they couldn’t. And so, the response to me was to mute me so they could feel more comfortable. I think the saddest part of this is not only to hear it so much but to also hear it from parental figures that are molding us and our self worth as children. It’s a big one to overcome and to reparent for yourself as an adult. To look at yourself, to feel yourself and be the parent that you needed but never had as a child. To learn to love you, embrace you, nurture you and allow yourself to be exactly what they said made you the problem to begin with. I’m so glad you have this video. Thank you for sharing this with others.
To the person reading this: THANK YOU for being an empath, a HSP or just someone who feels intensely. This world needs more people like YOU. Thanks for being here and adding value to our world 💖 Hope you have a blessed day filled with joy, happiness, health and love! 💖 Thanks Nathaniel for this video!!
I've heard the same growing up, especially emotionally. People use their sense of comfort to "defend" against that intensity, but reclaiming and owning up to it is a life long pursuit
Merci. I think with time I internalized all these "you're too intense" and I lost my fire. I spend hours dreaming about having my intensity, energy, and passion for life back. The flame, the little flicker of curiosity in my eyes was always my favorite thing about myself, but now it's been so many years that it's been dulled that I don't know where to start. Merci pour cette vidéo inattendue, it gives me hope
Love! The way you are. I was always told I was "too serious" and I was "always too sensitive". . After having a daughter, I read book after book to become the best parent I could be and in this came across a historical fact that the 'sensitive' people in indigenous people around the world, were always the medicine men and the wise women, teachers, doulas etc. They were a valued part of each tribe and village. After learning this, way too late in life, I was also finally able to see myself differently. Previously, serious and sensitive were accusations, and things to be ashamed of. Recently I ran across this quote from George Bernard Shaw, which I now value highly: "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. " Addio!
I am completely different way. I am chill and calm most of the time. There are for sure some cool things about that, like I don't get stressed easily and a lot of people seek the calmness, but at one point I really did not like this quality of mine. I wanted to be this intense, energetic person. Partly, because it is closely tied to passion and enthusiasm and also, because I soak the energy of people around me pretty easily. Being near energetic people gives me energy. I become the energetic version of myself. And since, as I mentioned, this is the thing that I seek, I LOVE intense people. The whole thing is a lot more tied together, than I realised. That is one of the reasons I love your videos so much. Your intense energy always leaves me like 200% more energetic and inspired. This video opened my eyes to some aspects of this topic. Although energy is such a broad topic. While I do appreciate my calmness now, I will not settle for that, since I want to live a life full of passion. Energy is still such a mystery to me. I am still figuring out how much of it is "just the way I am" and how much of it depends on my thoughts, attitude and environment. I would like to hear more of your thoughts on this topic!
Nathaniel, you are “intense” and is one of your super powers. I have struggled with being too intense my whole life. And you already mentioned it, but for me two big essential learnings: 1- self acceptance, and self-love. This is your superpower, you are already amazing with it, whatever happens, whoever you are with. 2- there is going to be always people who doesnt like you. And thats how this life experience works. As you said in another video, in the end this is related with us seeking validation and caring too much about what others think about us. There is a lot of people in this world, if it doesnt work, dont get stuck, keep searching for them in other places. As a personal story, in case it helps. I got used to the fact that x% of people in a group are going to feel “overwhelmed” by my “intensity”. And when I accepted that, I started to meet people who appreciated me for my “intensity”. While I was apologising for being too intense, they were telling me not to stop that, but the opposite, to keep transmiting this energy to them. So this is me telling you and everyone in the comments, that is time to embrace your superpower, and keep bringing light to this series of experiments called life.
I was recently told that my stare was too intense and too philosophical - not the first time I heard this. For several times now I've felt this urge to lower my vibration of behaviour and thought, and simply mimic other people´s more passive attitude towards life. Your words made me feel more confident that somewhere out there there's people that might resonate and vibe with me. Thank you Nathaniel! #ShakeThingsUp
I learnt at a young age to not share my thoughts as it would make a lot of people uncomfortable, and it's taken years to come-back to myself and accept that their reaction or opinion has more to do with them than me... So I'm relearning to be myself and enjoy people coming and going
I’ve been feeling similar things lately. You articulated this so well! People have different preferences. It’s okay. My job is to focus on honouring my own preferences, and showing up as authentic as I can, knowing it will not please some subset of society lol. Truly accepting and embracing this is powerful!
Loved this one dude. I realized this about myself a year or so ago and ever since that point I’ve made it a goal to seek the connections that I’m the perfect amount “intense” for.
I've loved your videos for years, but this video literally was like a huge hug. I'm the same way, I'm always "too intense" and love asking questions and intense curiosity. I too realized recently I need what you said here, I need other people like me (and you) - we can't let them push us down and we need to find each other and let each other spark our curiosity and joy.
I finally discovered the term emotional intensity yesterday and I cried and cried coz finally it made sense what my life experience has been. I had often wished I was “less difficult” but at the same time wondering why people felt I was difficult for simply wanting to understand things for example. And finally my life makes sense to me. Work frustrates me because in the corporate space, there is so much pretence and inauthenticity and I can see through it and it seems I am often the only person bothered intensely by it. People often say things like, “that’s just how things are, just ignore it or just accept it without questions.” And I can never understand how they are able to do that.
I've been told I'm a fiery redhead who's too loud and too intense far too often in life, and what you have said in this video has deeply hit home with me. The way I could put this is, If you were to walk into a crowded room full of people that made you uncomfortable, you would probably remove yourself from the situation. Rather than asking the crowd to be less for your own comfort. The same can apply to being too intense. If someone was uncomfortable how intense you are, they shouldn't ask you to be less. It's affecting them, and not you. Overtime I have learned these values about myself and am finding my people now, who are just as loud and intense and excited about life as I am.
“I’m just a giant mirror.” Brilliant! Of course, there is a place for every kind of person; and each person , whilst being true to themselves, whether intense, or not intense, will be contributing something of value to someone, LOL! Thank you for another gem!
Thank you! I definitely agree that not all of us need to be friends and I recently realized some similar stuff to what you said: I do not need to change, do not need to make people confortable. I am not too intense. I am intense and seek intense people and that's good! That's something I like about myself! So I really relate to you :)
This video couldn't have come at a better time! I've literally been having similar doubts and struggles about my own emotional intensity these past couple days and was reminded of some of your past videos about vulnerability and being expressive. There has always been a large part of me that strongly relates to the things you talk about and so many of your videos have been an immense source of encouragement and inspiration over the years. This video is certainly one of them. Thank you:)
This was great to hear. I have looked many times for advice on how to do better socially and they always dunk on intensity like no one will ever like you if you're intense, so I felt badly about it for many years. I've been so busy worrying how other people feel about me that I didn't realize I love intensity, I love curiosity, I love those things about myself but suppressed them to make other people happy. I also tire of talking to people who have no passions or yearning for wisdom, who just glide about life not really thinking about anything. That's fine for them but I need more stimulation, and conversations about deeper topics. Thanks for posting this.
I found this very helpful as I am intense/passionate and also enjoy people with substance and depth, who are curious, look deeply into things, and consider varying perspectives. These people are challenging, yes, but this has made me realize I need to dwell even more intimately with these people, being one myself. They are telling me their truth as they have built it through their own exploration, so worthy of hearing and considering. We are sharpened by these exchanges, even if we don't agree or quite see it. Plus, I do get bored after a while with mere superficiality, which is what some may need to feel safe or to skate along. I tell myself we have different operating systems and we need to accept others as they are. Wish that others could see this and not immediately reject a person for being different. I've stopped speaking up as much (probably not a good thing as it feels like I am not really present) though it is always within me, this thing that disagrees or sees things differently or questions what the heck was said by the other. At times I've felt rejected and you made me understand that I need to just be who I am, accepting myself, regardless of others' reactions. I hope that I can take this to heart and stop worrying about whether people like me or not - Complete Self Acceptance. "DON'T SHUT DOWN THAT FIRE!" Great words to hear. Who knows, I may lose more friends, as they may want to roll their eyes at my banter, but something in me needs to banter, pontificate, express, and just get it out! Meanwhile, I desire to explore, discover, breathe it all in, this being possibly the only chance I have to experience life (I do have some spiritual beliefs, but a strong realist view remains). I'd truly hate to waste my life on all this worry of whether others like or accept me or not, yet I do struggle with that to be honest, wishing I was a better communicator or had more social prowess. It is truly wild and miraculous to be a conscious entity in this beautiful and compelling Universe. We get to see the stars, the beauty of Earth, learn about what is living, the cycles of things, and so much if we stay curious. How could one not be intense, realizing that, even those who hide the truth behind the shallow and the easy? That depth is scary I suppose, but look at the Universe. What's not scary about a super nova or the birth of stars? Obliterating gigantic explosions, collisions and extreme energies!! Thank you for sharing something I really needed to hear today!!!
I needed this video. I am in my last semester of university and I have professors who understand my enthusiasm and some professors who hate me because of it. I have learned I have attracted these “intense” people and I am so grateful we can all balance eachother out 😅
Hi Nathaniel, not sure if you will see this comment but I've been along for the journey since I was 16 now, coming to your videos feels like coming home, I feel understood, seen, and like I am in fact, just enough and not too much like I've been told my entire life as an undiagnosed kid with ADHD; growing up I received this feedback of being "too much" a lot, so thank you for sharing this beautiful message of self-compassion, this message is exactly what I needed at the right time that I needed it...turning 24 next year, how daunting, let's make the most of this short but wonderful and wild life we have on this amazing earth.
I have been called “too loud” not due to voice tone but because I’m so invested and excited in a convo with somebody. That came from a parent/ex friends/teachers. I hated I had to suppress who I am. It wasn’t until a few years ago I embraced who I am. I like you love deep interesting convo I want to know the person I’m talking to there ins and outs, how they see things, etc. Thats one the reason I’m so interested in your channels I see similarities in you
There's people who are not intense but have a deep and intimate intensity inside of them passions, ideas, skills but, the world telling us to calm down is a scary thing, it prevents us from letting out that instensity.
Oh wow me too. I was always told I was "too intense", "intimidating" and people would tell me to chill out because they feel like they're not doing enough because I'm too much. It's frustrating to be passionate and then be told that your passion is making people uncomfortable. (I also have huge eyes haha)
I can relate to so much of your content. I'm 28 and only in the recent years developed a healthy level of self-love to let go of all of the negative comments I received from people telling me I was "too much" or "too intense." I also have large eyes so I feel like it's always easier for me to express my emotions really well on my face compared to other people who don't have such defined features. Glad to see we're all finding comfort in our own beings and gravitating towards those who will find comfort in our presence.
This couldn't have been more timely that sometimes I used to feel ashamed of it and avoid social contact. I'm still learning how to embrace my emotional intensity but it hasn't been easy. Thank you so much for this reaffirmation💖
I actually got a somewhat different takeaway from this. I have struggled for a long time with finding myself and not knowing who I am, and I've realized that introspection is only a small portion of what helps you find who you are. I am constantly attracted to or want to befriend people that have a specific set of qualities. I find it attractive and I am more myself around people with these certain types of qualities. The reason why? Because I am like these people! Like you said, how you see others is a reflection of who you are. Taking this information I will take some time to think about my relationships with people in my life and write down qualities and interests that draw me towards them. These things I will take on as a part of my identity. The things that draws the self to others will be the thing that draws the self to itself. It really is a "two birds killed with one stone" situation because I am able to find myself and also love myself.
I've just listened to you describe a great deal of my life! Thanks for not dimming your light just to please others. "Ne plie toi pas en quatre pour plaire la moyenne!"
I totally agree with you, Nathaniel. I am a pretty intensed person too, like, whenever I have to do something I need to be focused. I always make sure nothing and no one can distract me because if there's something else happens around me, I'd go crazy. And I think that's ok because trying to be somebody else is like invalidating yourself especially your identity.
I love that you brought this topic up. It's hard when you don't get it, so hard it makes you feel like you're a freak and you don't fit in. My intensity was always reflected in everything I liked. I've never known to like something a little. If I like something, it is always 1,000,000% and I show it in a thousand passionate ways. As a result, there is always some weird face saying "ugh, that's cool, yes, but you're exaggerating" or "that's weird" or "that thing you like isn't really that cool" trying to make me lower my intensity and close in on myself. Basically, something bothers them so much that they try to cut you off. Over time, if you're true to yourself, life ends up bringing you closer to people just as intensely, and then you know you're not alone. But it's hard until that moment arrives because until then, you learn to shut up and live your passions alone and in silence. I have spent my life being a fan of many things completely alone. But I don't stop being who I am, because I feel like it's a gift. Feeling that intensity for things makes me live each moment 100% and better understand that something is not going well when things are not going well. Being so intense has allowed me to have more introspection, to be more empathetic and to love more deeply. And as I say, life ends up bringing us together when we are ready to understand that living passionately is perhaps your tool for change. Regards, Nathaniel! 🤗
I think there are different types of intensity that must be spoken about. Usually, when I experience somebody to be intense, it is only really a nuisance if I find that a one-sided dynamic shapes itself from it. I know people with big personalities, but I feel no way overwhelmed by them, because they have the capacity to listen and ask me questions. Every relationship is different, I also notice how I appear more intense around certain people, but atleast I know that there is a balance that I should keep in mind. With some it is easier to meet that balance than with others.
Im also overly energetic and thats really comforting,ot hurts to not find people like me but comforts me to know im normal,also people say i have too small eyes i learned to like them!
People who tell people they aren't ok with your big, passionate, creative energy often just feel bad about themselves and its just their way of bringing you down. Intense people are often more empathetic because they are open to seeing everything around them. It's easy to take on bad energy some throw at us personally. Carry on and be spectacular. It's lonely on top of the mountain but the world needs you to climb it and show us how its done. Thanks for sharing your awesome videos and insights, Nathaniel.
aaaaah i loved this video. it was what i needed for real. Ive been thinkin about this because most of the people nowadays is telling me im too intense, and all of them are running away from it. Society is gettin less and less connected, having fear of having bad relationships or toxic ones, and they lose them at all. its a little bit difficult to explain everything i think about this topic in english (im spanish) but i hope one day i make a video of it and can translate properly for you to see it). thanks a lot for this. intese people will always be the best. Life = experiences + intensity of those exp. ;)
Wow! This message came at the perfect time. I love it when the universe builds on itself. As I just learned from another RUclipsr, the sun doesn’t care if anyone thinks it’s to bright. If someone has a problem with the intense light they need to put on sunglasses or close their blinds. My fellow intense people, you shine bright ass light!!!!
People love to say "try Hard" as a negative, but Trying hard is what is needed when you just one life and you want to do so much. Love how you expressed this!
Growing up with adhd and being hypersensitive, I've always heard that I'm too intense. But I love it, and I know that this is what people actually like abt me. I like the way I see the world and how I share it with others.
same here, learned same lesson this year. wasted so many years trying to fit in with people that don't fit well with me. a lot better to have relationships that flourishes each personality. It's a freeing discovery
Growing up while being told that I'm too intense, too much or too complicated still, to this day triggers me. especially since my parents were the ones telling me that my intensity will make it hard for someone to love me. a week ago, the guy I was seeing decided to leave me, saying that I was too intense and almost annoying sometimes with all the questions that I asked. it threw me off and sort of triggered a mild identity crisis that I'm now at peace with. But to be completely frank, I like my intensity, I love the fire that I have in me! it saves me from giving up and shutting down. I believe it helped me in recovering my depression. I like the fact that I want to explore and live the human experience to its fullest. and even though the fact that a lot of people will find me intense and annoying makes me a little sad and insecure, I kind of like the other side of the coin, that I require patience and curiosity. and like all intense beautiful people, you also require patience and curiosity. I relate to your words and your ways so much that I feel soothed after watching your videos and/or hearing you talk. I feel less alone and understood! you are beautifully intense (while I'm also saying this to myself and everyone else who can relate) and I'm very glad I stumbled on this video today! so much love 🌻💛
If I would have listened to what everybody else said like, "Do not do this!" "Do not do that!" "You are going to fail!" I would have not made it very far in life. I am not saying that people should listen to others but maybe 10-15% of the time. 90% you should listen to yourself.
I am married to a "too intense" husband who is a very passionate about all the activities he does (cycling, philosophy, cars, history etca) which he talk about these topics for hours. He has a very small circle of friends because they are able to keep up with his energy. Just have to find people around you that can either match or accept your passionate energy. 🐇🐒 Great insight!
Welp....as someone who was diagnosed late as autistic this resonated so much I got whiplash. I recognize so much of the "you're too much" thing and sayings from middle school and people telling me to calm and soften my demeanor and I just couldn't. But now I know I'm me. I don't try to inconvenience people or bring harm, therefore I will just live regardless of what some nosey someone says.
OMG, Nate, this is so much about me! I can totally relate to what you're saying. God, so many times people told me I'm too intense, there's too much of me or that I want to much etc. And it's so cool to hear these kinds of thoughts from you. We intense people need to stick together. Love you, Nikita
Growing up my teachers were trying to get me into the doctors for "adhd" bc I was a very talkative person. That went on for multiple years and I eventually started secluding bc I thought everyone didnt like my bc I am very intense. Its only been at the age of 28 that I finally forced myself out there and I get great reception from most people. I do get the occasional "chill tf out" but Its really just who I am deep down. If people have such an issue, they can just not talk to me...
as someone with exploding energy, I can relate so much to this. no one ever call me too intense, but most people just can't keep up with my energy. while I'm still on fire, people are already overwhelmed 😄 .. I love people who are intense and passionate about life, who are curious and have so many questions .. people with low energy tend to bore me 😅
I have been told this before in so many ways. "I'm too serious in life". Also, I agree with you not everyone is supose to be in our lives and that is okay. I really hope to meet you one day.
This is also a great video for us people who roll our eyes at "intense" people. I'm learning to embrace more awe & appreciation in the world (hugely inspired by you over the years), and embrace people who are more intense and involved. I like that you actively look for "intensity" in other people.
This is great! I have so many interests. I ask intense questions because I want to get know people. I had no idea my questions were catching people off guard. I am thankful for everything you share with us through your content.
*groans a huge sigh of relief* thank you for being our mirror, our validator, and our cheerleader. I’m glad you are exercising the power filter out those who do not allow you to be yourself in their presence. There is someone for everyone out there, and it sounds like you’ve got great people who accept you. 😊
Love the sentence: " You see in me, what you see in yourself" that's something that i've logically come to understand, but emotionally haven't caught up with yet. When people judge or reject something about me, it actually simply shows a conflict of their internal world. I can't help but still pull together when someone expresses this kind of attitude towards me. An instant adaption to their attitude...which isn't what i actually want to but simply do out of habit. autopilot.
This video caught my attention once i heard the "intense". Surely made me uncomfortable big part of my life had to try being normal until i realised i become more happier getting to the extremes i wanted. Thank you Nathanael for making me feel once again that it's ok 🙏🏾
Thank you Nathaniel, I think this is a message that many people, including me, didn’t know they needed to hear. I have always felt left out from other peoples careless fun because I am also someone who asks questions about life and won’t accept things the way they are, I’ve always been insecure about not being casually fun and exciting. I’ve always wanted to be one of those “cool” people that can make anyone laugh and have a good time. (I’m only 17 now) I tried so hard to fit in and be liked, which led me down a dark road and I’ve spent years trying to be someone I’m not. Only recently I’ve started trying to accept and embrace who I am and I’ve realised that who I really am is who I would rather be. You can only be happy if you are comfortable with yourself and who you are. This video really helped to build confidence in the idea that people will love me for who I am. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, you are a beautiful human :)
Making yourself small and quiet and eventually going so deep into yourself that you are no longer you, just so that you "fit in" and do not "disturb" how others think you should be/behave...is one of the saddest things I ever did to myself. But with time, introspection and a lot of effort, I am working on this every day. I am loud. I'm damn proud to be loud and intense. Thank you for sharing!
Everything you talk about I relate so much to, that I keep wishing your content existed when I was young. It could have really sped up the process of self acceptance and knowledge.
I am 56 years old and grew up thinking I was wrong for being "too much". I eventually realized I just needed to find my own people. And for awhile I thought I did. But recently I realized how much I was compromising myself to blend in. So now I have a 2nd wind of that existential crisis I had in my 20s, and I am okay with it. I just need to look again for my people.
I'm big, I've got a loud laugh, and I tend to go on rants about social justice, feminism, politics, etc. I've definitely been told I'm too much for some people, but I love these things about myself.
I tried to be less, to not bee as intense and I got very depressed and I lost interest in living. Now I am reconnecting with my energy and my way of experiencing the world and my mental health is getting better. Now I have people arround me that are intense too and I feel sooo much better. I wish someone had told me when I was young and felt lonely that my intensity isn't a bad thing and that I would find more people intense like me.
Good video. I do think that, ironically, by accepting that not everyone will like everyone else, and that not everyone will have the same approach to life, you are "accepting things the way they are," which seems in line with the latter approach. And there is definitely value in that, just as there is value in intensity/curiosity/ambition. Like you said, the world needs intensity and passion, but it also needs calm amid the chaos. I do not think it is necessarily about getting along, but rather about learning from others' perspectives and different approaches to life. It may also depend on the situation/context.
I really liked that you acknowledged you probably wouldn’t want to be around those people either. That’s so valuable when wondering why someone doesn’t respond with the kindness or actions you’d expect. Always value your truth. 💚💚💚 thanks 🤗 hope Paris is going well.
i recently have found motivation to bring out my true self by thinking of the concept of "not being a victim". if i find myself being a little insecure in a social situation or like i am somehow adapting my personality, then i just think "don't be a victim", and for some reason that hits the right spot for me
I love how you describe yourself as a mirror. I've heard that analogy used before for therapists and in everyday relationships but not in this case. RUclipsrs are totally mirrors, the mean comments don't have anything to do with anyone except the person that made them. Amazing videos, keep going :)
I will bet that your intensity has taught many things to those who are less so. I'm one of the "chill" types, even though my brain can get intense for even me! Many intense people have changed my life for the better (and occasionally worse). What I've found in my lifetime is that balance between the two can happen if both parties are open to learning from both personality types. A version of "opposites attract," I suppose? All harm-free ways of being are valid.
Interesting commentary. Yes building significance in relationships has become a quagmire of desire, emotions, state-of-mind and it's all playing us for our space and time. However your wisdom shows an intelligence far beyond your years. Great cinematography in your productions. The story-telling is spot on.
I am intense. A former friend, who I thought of as a brother & had intense (platonic) feelings for) thought I was obsessive. Being different from the majority is a painful experience.
I love these simple little "journal entry" type vlogs. Feels like when I get some feeling/emotion around a topic in my head and I immediately open Apple Notes to jot down some thoughts around it, just to get it out of my head and committed in some analog way in case I wanna dig deeper.
Nathaniel, ton intensité (ton hypersensibilité ?) te rend unique et te permet de créer de superbes vidéos. Comme j'aime le dire "essayer de ne pas être soi-même, c'est jouer à cache-cache avec ceux que nous sommes sensés attirer". ✨Merci à toi aussi de te poser toutes les questions possibles !
For me, I felt this way about being introverted and more quiet throughout my life. It really is just what others think about it. Reading the book "Quiet" helped me realize this, and the strengths inherent to being this way.
I really need this message today, thank you so much for reminding me that I'm not too intense, I'm just passionate about connecting in a deeper more meaningful way with life. Thank you for being intense Nathaniel, I appreciate you! ❤
I remember I met you (nathaniel) once when you were in mexico and your stare was like, SO intense, like it made me feel like you were really listening to what I said, or any other person from the group that was hanging around for that matter! That experience changed the way I interact with people, because I want to make them feel as listened as I felt that day 💗🥰
Hi Nathaniel, thank you for your videos, you put really valuable content into the world! Intensity is a great thing, it takes you to create this beautiful videos, see the life at it’s most but it might sometimes (like in my case) bring you to places which are not that great. In my case, Intensity works in both ways, for the good and for the bad and I was for really long time convinced that being intense was a really good as I’m also a creative and I was able to use this for myself to create things sometimes. Other times I could not do anything also because of that. My point (and the thing I’ve discovered also trough therapy) is that it’s clever also to learn to regulate our emotions, make our brain understand that he cannot go for that peaks of dopamine, then after it it might be an abyss between the peak and the next emotion and even when it might be great to have this peaks, happiness (or at least the definition of it that I embrace since lately) is about the constant more than the peaks.
I rarely comment on videos but I feel compelled to write for this one because I deeply and heavily relate. Being "too much" and "too intense" has been a thematic struggle of mine. I came to the same conclusions as you, about how the problem with my intensity isn't a a reflection of me but rather a reflection of others. Even with this truth in mind, it's something I've been shamed for on multiple occasions throughout my life so self-acceptance is an uphill battle. Even so, it's nice to have this reminder through the support of a select handful (which I'm still trying to find) and honest videos like these. I always knew I liked your content because of what it reflected in me: existentialism and breaking the status quo through action and questioning. But this video also makes me realize that I was drawn because of your intensity. I'm glad to find a channel like yours. We need more people like us!
I too deeply relate. For me I quickly noticed in my childhood that I was too much for people handle: my curiosity, intelligence, sensitivity, weird quirks. My thoughts were too abstract for them, my desire for emotional depth to uncomfortable for them, my kind and pure heart viewed as a weakness or something to be exploited. But unfortunately in my case I learned to hide who I am from the world as a way of protecting myself and as such it's been a very lonely existence. It's made me apprehensive and sceptical of the world; approaching life with crippling hesitation and reservation.
I've been learning to open my heart in the past couple of years, but it's still hard to trust... hard to feel safe in the world
I have gotten, "calm down", "you're too intense" and particularly "you're too sensitive". My passion and sensitivity to life is a gift I realized now at 32 :) I see you, Nathaniel.
I get that a lot too. Especially as a woman, people don't like it when you're curious and "intense". I get told I'm "too much" but like you say, I eventually realized that I don't want to be around people who want me to be less in order to be acceptable to them. There are people who like that I'm intense and interested and curious and I can spend my time and energy around those people.
“You’re not too intense. You’re just too intense for that person.” Thank you Nathaniel! 🙏🏼
Learning deep self acceptance, and honoring who I am, even if I was once told my qualities were ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’. I loved this chat, thank you Nathaniel 💕
Same here actually. Being proud of who you are and what makes you different is so important. Great video
As someone who is pretty low energy, I've been thinking a lot about my relationships with intense or high energy people lately. It can be very complicated. These people are beautiful and I love how they see and interact with the world. Their energy can help me get out of ruts and I love getting swept up in their passions and helping develop their ideas. However, I'm not always able to keep up with them. So I think it's important to keep in mind that it's just in that moment our energy levels are conflicting. and it's not a problem with me or them, we're just two different, fluctuating and changing people, and sometimes it just doesn't mesh well. Communicating that can be challenging though.
Loved hearing your perspective on this and people's in the comments! I can empathise that growing up with a lot of passion would be very hard to stay true to yourself.
as someone who is intense, sensitive and passionate I really enjoy people like you who are low key and go with the flow. i think the key is holding space for and understanding each other and knowing how to communicate effectively. i enjoy being the 'spark' as you have described. but there is also so much value in being around someone who brings calm energy to the table. i enjoyed your honest reply!
It’s crazy how much I relate to this. I also love intense people who love life and want to be better. Some people may hate that but that just means you need to find the right people. Such a great discussion ❤
As a kid I was constantly told to "calm down," "behave," or "act proper" by my mom. And then told by my dad, "speak up" and "stop mumbling." It's taken years to break out of the confused shell that created around me. I'm greatly enjoying the renewed energy in my personality! I'm glad you never let that close you off.
ADHD?
@PumpjackPiddlewick Is this a symptom of ADHD?
@@ling636 Yes. Definite buzzwords in there for it.
I love how you describe the contrast between your parents and can totally relate, although for me more concerning expectations put on me. It can be wuite disorienting as a child
@@pumpjackpiddlewick Grew up too poor for such diagnoses. Folks divorced within a year; evangelical mother and a rowdy trucker dad. Two very different parents, households, and expectations.
Feeling "too much" in another way is something I can totally relate to! Learning to accept oneself, seeing it as a strength and being surrounded by supportive and like-minded people is really the way to go. It's astounding how much these "well intended" messages from people can do to us in our childhood. It creates a lasting effect and can even lead to developmental trauma. I wish adults knew more about how much their actions and words affect children and hence, would be more conscious!
Couldn’t agree more
Your big eyes are what drew me into you. Your intensity is what pulled me in after 1 second of seeing you on Kara and Nate’s video. It is weird how people can have opposite reactions to each other. I love your intensity and presence. Thank you for sharing it in such a vulnerable way💜
This speaks to me. I have always been told this from a very young age and been made out to be the “problem.” As a child we don’t have the capacity or understanding to not absorb that and believe it’s us, believe it’s who we are that’s the problem.
I wrote a poem about this last year around this same time. I realized that my being intense was not ever an issue about me, it was an issue for them bc it represented a place they couldn’t go to. I did what they couldn’t, said and dared to feel what they couldn’t. And so, the response to me was to mute me so they could feel more comfortable.
I think the saddest part of this is not only to hear it so much but to also hear it from parental figures that are molding us and our self worth as children. It’s a big one to overcome and to reparent for yourself as an adult. To look at yourself, to feel yourself and be the parent that you needed but never had as a child. To learn to love you, embrace you, nurture you and allow yourself to be exactly what they said made you the problem to begin with.
I’m so glad you have this video. Thank you for sharing this with others.
To the person reading this: THANK YOU for being an empath, a HSP or just someone who feels intensely. This world needs more people like YOU. Thanks for being here and adding value to our world 💖 Hope you have a blessed day filled with joy, happiness, health and love! 💖 Thanks Nathaniel for this video!!
I've heard the same growing up, especially emotionally. People use their sense of comfort to "defend" against that intensity, but reclaiming and owning up to it is a life long pursuit
Merci. I think with time I internalized all these "you're too intense" and I lost my fire. I spend hours dreaming about having my intensity, energy, and passion for life back. The flame, the little flicker of curiosity in my eyes was always my favorite thing about myself, but now it's been so many years that it's been dulled that I don't know where to start. Merci pour cette vidéo inattendue, it gives me hope
Love! The way you are. I was always told I was "too serious" and I was "always too sensitive". . After having a daughter, I read book after book to become the best parent I could be and in this came across a historical fact that the 'sensitive' people in indigenous people around the world, were always the medicine men and the wise women, teachers, doulas etc. They were a valued part of each tribe and village. After learning this, way too late in life, I was also finally able to see myself differently. Previously, serious and sensitive were accusations, and things to be ashamed of. Recently I ran across this quote from George Bernard Shaw, which I now value highly: "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. " Addio!
I am completely different way. I am chill and calm most of the time. There are for sure some cool things about that, like I don't get stressed easily and a lot of people seek the calmness, but at one point I really did not like this quality of mine. I wanted to be this intense, energetic person. Partly, because it is closely tied to passion and enthusiasm and also, because I soak the energy of people around me pretty easily. Being near energetic people gives me energy. I become the energetic version of myself. And since, as I mentioned, this is the thing that I seek, I LOVE intense people. The whole thing is a lot more tied together, than I realised. That is one of the reasons I love your videos so much. Your intense energy always leaves me like 200% more energetic and inspired. This video opened my eyes to some aspects of this topic. Although energy is such a broad topic. While I do appreciate my calmness now, I will not settle for that, since I want to live a life full of passion. Energy is still such a mystery to me. I am still figuring out how much of it is "just the way I am" and how much of it depends on my thoughts, attitude and environment. I would like to hear more of your thoughts on this topic!
Nathaniel, you are “intense” and is one of your super powers.
I have struggled with being too intense my whole life. And you already mentioned it, but for me two big essential learnings:
1- self acceptance, and self-love. This is your superpower, you are already amazing with it, whatever happens, whoever you are with.
2- there is going to be always people who doesnt like you. And thats how this life experience works. As you said in another video, in the end this is related with us seeking validation and caring too much about what others think about us.
There is a lot of people in this world, if it doesnt work, dont get stuck, keep searching for them in other places.
As a personal story, in case it helps. I got used to the fact that x% of people in a group are going to feel “overwhelmed” by my “intensity”. And when I accepted that, I started to meet people who appreciated me for my “intensity”. While I was apologising for being too intense, they were telling me not to stop that, but the opposite, to keep transmiting this energy to them.
So this is me telling you and everyone in the comments, that is time to embrace your superpower, and keep bringing light to this series of experiments called life.
I was recently told that my stare was too intense and too philosophical - not the first time I heard this. For several times now I've felt this urge to lower my vibration of behaviour and thought, and simply mimic other people´s more passive attitude towards life.
Your words made me feel more confident that somewhere out there there's people that might resonate and vibe with me. Thank you Nathaniel! #ShakeThingsUp
I learnt at a young age to not share my thoughts as it would make a lot of people uncomfortable, and it's taken years to come-back to myself and accept that their reaction or opinion has more to do with them than me... So I'm relearning to be myself and enjoy people coming and going
I’ve been feeling similar things lately. You articulated this so well! People have different preferences. It’s okay. My job is to focus on honouring my own preferences, and showing up as authentic as I can, knowing it will not please some subset of society lol. Truly accepting and embracing this is powerful!
Loved this one dude. I realized this about myself a year or so ago and ever since that point I’ve made it a goal to seek the connections that I’m the perfect amount “intense” for.
I've loved your videos for years, but this video literally was like a huge hug. I'm the same way, I'm always "too intense" and love asking questions and intense curiosity. I too realized recently I need what you said here, I need other people like me (and you) - we can't let them push us down and we need to find each other and let each other spark our curiosity and joy.
I finally discovered the term emotional intensity yesterday and I cried and cried coz finally it made sense what my life experience has been.
I had often wished I was “less difficult” but at the same time wondering why people felt I was difficult for simply wanting to understand things for example.
And finally my life makes sense to me. Work frustrates me because in the corporate space, there is so much pretence and inauthenticity and I can see through it and it seems I am often the only person bothered intensely by it. People often say things like, “that’s just how things are, just ignore it or just accept it without questions.” And I can never understand how they are able to do that.
I've been told I'm a fiery redhead who's too loud and too intense far too often in life, and what you have said in this video has deeply hit home with me.
The way I could put this is, If you were to walk into a crowded room full of people that made you uncomfortable, you would probably remove yourself from the situation. Rather than asking the crowd to be less for your own comfort.
The same can apply to being too intense. If someone was uncomfortable how intense you are, they shouldn't ask you to be less. It's affecting them, and not you.
Overtime I have learned these values about myself and am finding my people now, who are just as loud and intense and excited about life as I am.
“I’m just a giant mirror.” Brilliant! Of course, there is a place for every kind of person; and each person , whilst being true to themselves, whether intense, or not intense, will be contributing something of value to someone, LOL! Thank you for another gem!
Thank you! I definitely agree that not all of us need to be friends and I recently realized some similar stuff to what you said: I do not need to change, do not need to make people confortable. I am not too intense. I am intense and seek intense people and that's good! That's something I like about myself! So I really relate to you :)
This video couldn't have come at a better time! I've literally been having similar doubts and struggles about my own emotional intensity these past couple days and was reminded of some of your past videos about vulnerability and being expressive. There has always been a large part of me that strongly relates to the things you talk about and so many of your videos have been an immense source of encouragement and inspiration over the years. This video is certainly one of them. Thank you:)
Intensity is a blessing. It shows passion, truth seeking, and enlightenment. Cheers !🥂
this is exactly what I’ve felt stirring up inside of me for pretty much my whole life ❤ so thank you for putting it into words
This was great to hear. I have looked many times for advice on how to do better socially and they always dunk on intensity like no one will ever like you if you're intense, so I felt badly about it for many years. I've been so busy worrying how other people feel about me that I didn't realize I love intensity, I love curiosity, I love those things about myself but suppressed them to make other people happy. I also tire of talking to people who have no passions or yearning for wisdom, who just glide about life not really thinking about anything. That's fine for them but I need more stimulation, and conversations about deeper topics. Thanks for posting this.
I found this very helpful as I am intense/passionate and also enjoy people with substance and depth, who are curious, look deeply into things, and consider varying perspectives. These people are challenging, yes, but this has made me realize I need to dwell even more intimately with these people, being one myself. They are telling me their truth as they have built it through their own exploration, so worthy of hearing and considering. We are sharpened by these exchanges, even if we don't agree or quite see it. Plus, I do get bored after a while with mere superficiality, which is what some may need to feel safe or to skate along.
I tell myself we have different operating systems and we need to accept others as they are. Wish that others could see this and not immediately reject a person for being different.
I've stopped speaking up as much (probably not a good thing as it feels like I am not really present) though it is always within me, this thing that disagrees or sees things differently or questions what the heck was said by the other. At times I've felt rejected and you made me understand that I need to just be who I am, accepting myself, regardless of others' reactions. I hope that I can take this to heart and stop worrying about whether people like me or not - Complete Self Acceptance.
"DON'T SHUT DOWN THAT FIRE!" Great words to hear. Who knows, I may lose more friends, as they may want to roll their eyes at my banter, but something in me needs to banter, pontificate, express, and just get it out! Meanwhile, I desire to explore, discover, breathe it all in, this being possibly the only chance I have to experience life (I do have some spiritual beliefs, but a strong realist view remains). I'd truly hate to waste my life on all this worry of whether others like or accept me or not, yet I do struggle with that to be honest, wishing I was a better communicator or had more social prowess.
It is truly wild and miraculous to be a conscious entity in this beautiful and compelling Universe. We get to see the stars, the beauty of Earth, learn about what is living, the cycles of things, and so much if we stay curious. How could one not be intense, realizing that, even those who hide the truth behind the shallow and the easy? That depth is scary I suppose, but look at the Universe. What's not scary about a super nova or the birth of stars? Obliterating gigantic explosions, collisions and extreme energies!! Thank you for sharing something I really needed to hear today!!!
I needed this video. I am in my last semester of university and I have professors who understand my enthusiasm and some professors who hate me because of it. I have learned I have attracted these “intense” people and I am so grateful we can all balance eachother out 😅
Hi Nathaniel, not sure if you will see this comment but I've been along for the journey since I was 16 now, coming to your videos feels like coming home, I feel understood, seen, and like I am in fact, just enough and not too much like I've been told my entire life as an undiagnosed kid with ADHD; growing up I received this feedback of being "too much" a lot, so thank you for sharing this beautiful message of self-compassion, this message is exactly what I needed at the right time that I needed it...turning 24 next year, how daunting, let's make the most of this short but wonderful and wild life we have on this amazing earth.
I have been called “too loud” not due to voice tone but because I’m so invested and excited in a convo with somebody. That came from a parent/ex friends/teachers. I hated I had to suppress who I am. It wasn’t until a few years ago I embraced who I am. I like you love deep interesting convo I want to know the person I’m talking to there ins and outs, how they see things, etc. Thats one the reason I’m so interested in your channels I see similarities in you
There's people who are not intense but have a deep and intimate intensity inside of them passions, ideas, skills but, the world telling us to calm down is a scary thing, it prevents us from letting out that instensity.
Oh wow me too. I was always told I was "too intense", "intimidating" and people would tell me to chill out because they feel like they're not doing enough because I'm too much. It's frustrating to be passionate and then be told that your passion is making people uncomfortable.
(I also have huge eyes haha)
I can relate to so much of your content. I'm 28 and only in the recent years developed a healthy level of self-love to let go of all of the negative comments I received from people telling me I was "too much" or "too intense." I also have large eyes so I feel like it's always easier for me to express my emotions really well on my face compared to other people who don't have such defined features. Glad to see we're all finding comfort in our own beings and gravitating towards those who will find comfort in our presence.
This couldn't have been more timely that sometimes I used to feel ashamed of it and avoid social contact. I'm still learning how to embrace my emotional intensity but it hasn't been easy. Thank you so much for this reaffirmation💖
Same here actually. So glad we’re all growing lost this ideology ❤
@@khalilahd. Yes we are.😊 Love your channel btw💖
I actually got a somewhat different takeaway from this. I have struggled for a long time with finding myself and not knowing who I am, and I've realized that introspection is only a small portion of what helps you find who you are. I am constantly attracted to or want to befriend people that have a specific set of qualities. I find it attractive and I am more myself around people with these certain types of qualities. The reason why? Because I am like these people! Like you said, how you see others is a reflection of who you are. Taking this information I will take some time to think about my relationships with people in my life and write down qualities and interests that draw me towards them. These things I will take on as a part of my identity. The things that draws the self to others will be the thing that draws the self to itself. It really is a "two birds killed with one stone" situation because I am able to find myself and also love myself.
I've just listened to you describe a great deal of my life! Thanks for not dimming your light just to please others. "Ne plie toi pas en quatre pour plaire la moyenne!"
Relating to this a lot. Always felt like my intensity was too much for most people and having left behind used to hurt so much..
love witnessing your self acceptance journey - thank you for reminding us of important stuff like this
I totally agree with you, Nathaniel. I am a pretty intensed person too, like, whenever I have to do something I need to be focused. I always make sure nothing and no one can distract me because if there's something else happens around me, I'd go crazy. And I think that's ok because trying to be somebody else is like invalidating yourself especially your identity.
I love that you brought this topic up. It's hard when you don't get it, so hard it makes you feel like you're a freak and you don't fit in. My intensity was always reflected in everything I liked. I've never known to like something a little. If I like something, it is always 1,000,000% and I show it in a thousand passionate ways. As a result, there is always some weird face saying "ugh, that's cool, yes, but you're exaggerating" or "that's weird" or "that thing you like isn't really that cool" trying to make me lower my intensity and close in on myself. Basically, something bothers them so much that they try to cut you off. Over time, if you're true to yourself, life ends up bringing you closer to people just as intensely, and then you know you're not alone. But it's hard until that moment arrives because until then, you learn to shut up and live your passions alone and in silence. I have spent my life being a fan of many things completely alone. But I don't stop being who I am, because I feel like it's a gift. Feeling that intensity for things makes me live each moment 100% and better understand that something is not going well when things are not going well. Being so intense has allowed me to have more introspection, to be more empathetic and to love more deeply. And as I say, life ends up bringing us together when we are ready to understand that living passionately is perhaps your tool for change.
Regards, Nathaniel! 🤗
I would never expected you to be "intense". You come across as so chill and thoughtful.
Oooo! I like this one! Very real! Not a hint of "let's give them what they want" which really does not work! Give us what YOU want! Just like this! 🎯
Very well said my friend. From one intense dude to another
I think there are different types of intensity that must be spoken about. Usually, when I experience somebody to be intense, it is only really a nuisance if I find that a one-sided dynamic shapes itself from it. I know people with big personalities, but I feel no way overwhelmed by them, because they have the capacity to listen and ask me questions.
Every relationship is different, I also notice how I appear more intense around certain people, but atleast I know that there is a balance that I should keep in mind. With some it is easier to meet that balance than with others.
Im also overly energetic and thats really comforting,ot hurts to not find people like me but comforts me to know im normal,also people say i have too small eyes i learned to like them!
People who tell people they aren't ok with your big, passionate, creative energy often just feel bad about themselves and its just their way of bringing you down. Intense people are often more empathetic because they are open to seeing everything around them. It's easy to take on bad energy some throw at us personally. Carry on and be spectacular. It's lonely on top of the mountain but the world needs you to climb it and show us how its done. Thanks for sharing your awesome videos and insights, Nathaniel.
aaaaah i loved this video. it was what i needed for real.
Ive been thinkin about this because most of the people nowadays is telling me im too intense, and all of them are running away from it. Society is gettin less and less connected, having fear of having bad relationships or toxic ones, and they lose them at all.
its a little bit difficult to explain everything i think about this topic in english (im spanish) but i hope one day i make a video of it and can translate properly for you to see it).
thanks a lot for this.
intese people will always be the best.
Life = experiences + intensity of those exp. ;)
Wow! This message came at the perfect time. I love it when the universe builds on itself. As I just learned from another RUclipsr, the sun doesn’t care if anyone thinks it’s to bright. If someone has a problem with the intense light they need to put on sunglasses or close their blinds.
My fellow intense people, you shine bright ass light!!!!
People love to say "try Hard" as a negative, but Trying hard is what is needed when you just one life and you want to do so much. Love how you expressed this!
Growing up with adhd and being hypersensitive, I've always heard that I'm too intense. But I love it, and I know that this is what people actually like abt me. I like the way I see the world and how I share it with others.
same here, learned same lesson this year. wasted so many years trying to fit in with people that don't fit well with me. a lot better to have relationships that flourishes each personality. It's a freeing discovery
Growing up while being told that I'm too intense, too much or too complicated still, to this day triggers me. especially since my parents were the ones telling me that my intensity will make it hard for someone to love me. a week ago, the guy I was seeing decided to leave me, saying that I was too intense and almost annoying sometimes with all the questions that I asked. it threw me off and sort of triggered a mild identity crisis that I'm now at peace with. But to be completely frank, I like my intensity, I love the fire that I have in me! it saves me from giving up and shutting down. I believe it helped me in recovering my depression. I like the fact that I want to explore and live the human experience to its fullest. and even though the fact that a lot of people will find me intense and annoying makes me a little sad and insecure, I kind of like the other side of the coin, that I require patience and curiosity. and like all intense beautiful people, you also require patience and curiosity.
I relate to your words and your ways so much that I feel soothed after watching your videos and/or hearing you talk. I feel less alone and understood! you are beautifully intense (while I'm also saying this to myself and everyone else who can relate) and I'm very glad I stumbled on this video today! so much love 🌻💛
If I would have listened to what everybody else said like, "Do not do this!" "Do not do that!" "You are going to fail!" I would have not made it very far in life. I am not saying that people should listen to others but maybe 10-15% of the time. 90% you should listen to yourself.
Yes yes yes yes and YES! Totally agree, did I already mention that?
I am married to a "too intense" husband who is a very passionate about all the activities he does (cycling, philosophy, cars, history etca) which he talk about these topics for hours. He has a very small circle of friends because they are able to keep up with his energy. Just have to find people around you that can either match or accept your passionate energy. 🐇🐒 Great insight!
PERFECT TIMING .really needed to hear that .thank you Nathaniel
Welp....as someone who was diagnosed late as autistic this resonated so much I got whiplash. I recognize so much of the "you're too much" thing and sayings from middle school and people telling me to calm and soften my demeanor and I just couldn't.
But now I know I'm me. I don't try to inconvenience people or bring harm, therefore I will just live regardless of what some nosey someone says.
OMG, Nate, this is so much about me! I can totally relate to what you're saying. God, so many times people told me I'm too intense, there's too much of me or that I want to much etc. And it's so cool to hear these kinds of thoughts from you. We intense people need to stick together. Love you, Nikita
Growing up my teachers were trying to get me into the doctors for "adhd" bc I was a very talkative person. That went on for multiple years and I eventually started secluding bc I thought everyone didnt like my bc I am very intense. Its only been at the age of 28 that I finally forced myself out there and I get great reception from most people. I do get the occasional "chill tf out" but Its really just who I am deep down. If people have such an issue, they can just not talk to me...
as someone with exploding energy, I can relate so much to this. no one ever call me too intense, but most people just can't keep up with my energy. while I'm still on fire, people are already overwhelmed 😄 .. I love people who are intense and passionate about life, who are curious and have so many questions .. people with low energy tend to bore me 😅
I have been told this before in so many ways. "I'm too serious in life". Also, I agree with you not everyone is supose to be in our lives and that is okay.
I really hope to meet you one day.
This is also a great video for us people who roll our eyes at "intense" people. I'm learning to embrace more awe & appreciation in the world (hugely inspired by you over the years), and embrace people who are more intense and involved.
I like that you actively look for "intensity" in other people.
This is great! I have so many interests. I ask intense questions because I want to get know people. I had no idea my questions were catching people off guard. I am thankful for everything you share with us through your content.
*groans a huge sigh of relief* thank you for being our mirror, our validator, and our cheerleader. I’m glad you are exercising the power filter out those who do not allow you to be yourself in their presence. There is someone for everyone out there, and it sounds like you’ve got great people who accept you. 😊
Love the sentence: " You see in me, what you see in yourself" that's something that i've logically come to understand, but emotionally haven't caught up with yet. When people judge or reject something about me, it actually simply shows a conflict of their internal world. I can't help but still pull together when someone expresses this kind of attitude towards me. An instant adaption to their attitude...which isn't what i actually want to but simply do out of habit. autopilot.
This video caught my attention once i heard the "intense". Surely made me uncomfortable big part of my life had to try being normal until i realised i become more happier getting to the extremes i wanted. Thank you Nathanael for making me feel once again that it's ok 🙏🏾
Learning is happening here! Cool!
Thank you Nathaniel, I think this is a message that many people, including me, didn’t know they needed to hear.
I have always felt left out from other peoples careless fun because I am also someone who asks questions about life and won’t accept things the way they are, I’ve always been insecure about not being casually fun and exciting. I’ve always wanted to be one of those “cool” people that can make anyone laugh and have a good time. (I’m only 17 now) I tried so hard to fit in and be liked, which led me down a dark road and I’ve spent years trying to be someone I’m not. Only recently I’ve started trying to accept and embrace who I am and I’ve realised that who I really am is who I would rather be. You can only be happy if you are comfortable with yourself and who you are. This video really helped to build confidence in the idea that people will love me for who I am.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, you are a beautiful human :)
Making yourself small and quiet and eventually going so deep into yourself that you are no longer you, just so that you "fit in" and do not "disturb" how others think you should be/behave...is one of the saddest things I ever did to myself. But with time, introspection and a lot of effort, I am working on this every day. I am loud. I'm damn proud to be loud and intense. Thank you for sharing!
Well this was a breath of fresh air. Thankyou.
Everything you talk about I relate so much to, that I keep wishing your content existed when I was young. It could have really sped up the process of self acceptance and knowledge.
I am 56 years old and grew up thinking I was wrong for being "too much". I eventually realized I just needed to find my own people. And for awhile I thought I did. But recently I realized how much I was compromising myself to blend in. So now I have a 2nd wind of that existential crisis I had in my 20s, and I am okay with it. I just need to look again for my people.
I'm big, I've got a loud laugh, and I tend to go on rants about social justice, feminism, politics, etc. I've definitely been told I'm too much for some people, but I love these things about myself.
I tried to be less, to not bee as intense and I got very depressed and I lost interest in living. Now I am reconnecting with my energy and my way of experiencing the world and my mental health is getting better.
Now I have people arround me that are intense too and I feel sooo much better. I wish someone had told me when I was young and felt lonely that my intensity isn't a bad thing and that I would find more people intense like me.
I love your intensity and I'm glad you never dulled your shine!
You are perfect the way you are ! I love your questioning mind an your aliveness . Thank you for sharing your “intensity” ! 💕🌷
Good video. I do think that, ironically, by accepting that not everyone will like everyone else, and that not everyone will have the same approach to life, you are "accepting things the way they are," which seems in line with the latter approach. And there is definitely value in that, just as there is value in intensity/curiosity/ambition. Like you said, the world needs intensity and passion, but it also needs calm amid the chaos. I do not think it is necessarily about getting along, but rather about learning from others' perspectives and different approaches to life. It may also depend on the situation/context.
I really liked that you acknowledged you probably wouldn’t want to be around those people either. That’s so valuable when wondering why someone doesn’t respond with the kindness or actions you’d expect. Always value your truth. 💚💚💚 thanks 🤗 hope Paris is going well.
you coming with this intense life force is a gift
i recently have found motivation to bring out my true self by thinking of the concept of "not being a victim". if i find myself being a little insecure in a social situation or like i am somehow adapting my personality, then i just think "don't be a victim", and for some reason that hits the right spot for me
i extremely relate to this message. having a lot of humor and joy in my speech it often feels like a lot of energy for others. :)
Really refreshing and insightful to hear you talk about interpretations of "intense".
I am tolk often I speak to quickly, but it is my enthusiasum....
I love how you describe yourself as a mirror. I've heard that analogy used before for therapists and in everyday relationships but not in this case. RUclipsrs are totally mirrors, the mean comments don't have anything to do with anyone except the person that made them. Amazing videos, keep going :)
I will bet that your intensity has taught many things to those who are less so. I'm one of the "chill" types, even though my brain can get intense for even me! Many intense people have changed my life for the better (and occasionally worse). What I've found in my lifetime is that balance between the two can happen if both parties are open to learning from both personality types. A version of "opposites attract," I suppose? All harm-free ways of being are valid.
Interesting commentary. Yes building significance in relationships has become a quagmire of desire, emotions, state-of-mind and it's all playing us for our space and time. However your wisdom shows an intelligence far beyond your years. Great cinematography in your productions. The story-telling is spot on.
I am intense. A former friend, who I thought of as a brother & had intense (platonic) feelings for) thought I was obsessive. Being different from the majority is a painful experience.
I love these simple little "journal entry" type vlogs. Feels like when I get some feeling/emotion around a topic in my head and I immediately open Apple Notes to jot down some thoughts around it, just to get it out of my head and committed in some analog way in case I wanna dig deeper.
Nathaniel "BIG ENERGY" Drew. I love it, keep being you :D
Nathaniel, ton intensité (ton hypersensibilité ?) te rend unique et te permet de créer de superbes vidéos. Comme j'aime le dire "essayer de ne pas être soi-même, c'est jouer à cache-cache avec ceux que nous sommes sensés attirer". ✨Merci à toi aussi de te poser toutes les questions possibles !
For me, I felt this way about being introverted and more quiet throughout my life. It really is just what others think about it. Reading the book "Quiet" helped me realize this, and the strengths inherent to being this way.
mann.... i just took that "Breath Of Relief". thanks to you.😃😇😇
Really needed this in this stage of my life. Thank you!
Omg I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee this!!!!!!!! Thank you so much, you articulated this to perfection!!! 🤩♥️
Definitely good content. 100000% relateable. Thank you for make me realize that I'm not alone after all.
I really need this message today, thank you so much for reminding me that I'm not too intense, I'm just passionate about connecting in a deeper more meaningful way with life. Thank you for being intense Nathaniel, I appreciate you! ❤
I remember I met you (nathaniel) once when you were in mexico and your stare was like, SO intense, like it made me feel like you were really listening to what I said, or any other person from the group that was hanging around for that matter!
That experience changed the way I interact with people, because I want to make them feel as listened as I felt that day 💗🥰
Hi Nathaniel, thank you for your videos, you put really valuable content into the world! Intensity is a great thing, it takes you to create this beautiful videos, see the life at it’s most but it might sometimes (like in my case) bring you to places which are not that great. In my case, Intensity works in both ways, for the good and for the bad and I was for really long time convinced that being intense was a really good as I’m also a creative and I was able to use this for myself to create things sometimes. Other times I could not do anything also because of that.
My point (and the thing I’ve discovered also trough therapy) is that it’s clever also to learn to regulate our emotions, make our brain understand that he cannot go for that peaks of dopamine, then after it it might be an abyss between the peak and the next emotion and even when it might be great to have this peaks, happiness (or at least the definition of it that I embrace since lately) is about the constant more than the peaks.