The Money Controls Me! | Spendaholics | Only Human
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- Опубликовано: 25 фев 2020
- 35-year-old Sharron lives in South London and works in the city. She’s a legal secretary, earning £39,000. Shopping is the be-all and spend-all; shoes, bags, coats, dresses. She’s equally at home in Primark as in Prada, and her wardrobe is just as accommodating. Yet, Sharron has so little of it, she’s in debt to the tune of £27,000.
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#OnlyHuman #Spendaholics #ShoppingAddiction
I was a single mother. Saved, never spent on myself - worked to pay mortgage, bills and spoilt my daughter. Now I realise I don’t know what is best....at least she socialised and went out. I never did anything. It’s depressing both ways, the middle road is best.
Balance is key.
That’s good you did all that but u should of had something for ur self like spa day ect
Yes, the middle road is always best...but sometimes what you can accomplish and still keep the lights on is what's best.
Idk why these shows never bring up the fact that popular culture is constantly shoving hyper consumerism down our throats.
Facts, facts, facts.
A key part of keeping the "mindless consuming" at peak levels is making sure that the consumer not think too in depth about the causes of the compulsion driving them. Credit card companies and mass producers of food, clothing, shoes, beauty products and the like, have been running the game full-tilt since the mid 1920s. So, for 100 years we have all received the message that happiness/contentedness/likeability itself is obtainable via the purchases we make. I imagine the stockholders who stay rich by having the populace in deep debt also have their fingers in television stations in order to keep these kind of shows not get too real. ✌🏼🍂🏵️🍁🍂
I don't think the obvious needs to be stated
And now social medias
Sharron, you will ALWAYS be your sons Mom. NO ONE can replace you. Enjoy your life, giving your son a chance to spread his wings. When he comes to visit, just love him and be a supporting Mom who will respect his room to grow his wings. HE WILL always love you. You will have a relationship, don't worry. He also has a need to know his father, this will fill a void in him also.
Really amazed at how cheap things were back then
Have watched 11 episodes and Sharon is by far the most grounded and warm person I’ve seen. I hope sue and her son are reconnecting :)
Unlike so many of the others on these programmes, Sharon actually seems like a nice person. She isn't living off someone else and abusing their finances, like for eg the blonde girl in Poynton who was living rent free with her parents and making them work long shifts to fund her spending, or the lad in Manchester using his sick mother's retirement savings to buy Vivien Westwood, or the woman in Kent spending 23k of her mum's money. She clearly works hard, is intelligent, has a really good job (£39k would be a decent salary for a legal secretary even now let alone in 2005). Her friends and family comment on the fact that she's generous with her money. She was clearly grieving the departure of her son which must have been bloody difficult given that she appeared to have raised him by herself.
And I'm gonna say it...unlike so many of the others on here...it's easier to see how she got into so much debt without realising, cause she had a decent salary and was buying discounted items and second hand. Given that her net pay was 2400 and she probably mixed with people who had similar jobs, she was likely copying their habits and then some. Unlike some of the women who earned 14k etc and were buying designer clothes and make up etc knowing full well that they couldn't afford that lifestyle on their salaries. And unlike them...it wouldn't have taken her long to sort out her finances either and wouldn't have needed to be bailed out.
I really hope things worked out for her and that she paid off her debt, repaired her relationship with her son, got the house in St Lucia and is happy now 😊
Calm down lol, nobody’s comparing her to any of these people.
I think the OP makes some really good points. Overspending, despite the mechanism, is the outward manifestation of something psychological going on.
What I find lacking in addressing overspending is exploring people who make a good salary and spend too much but aren’t in debt. I think overconsumption is deemed ok if you can afford it, but it’s really not. So many people overspend instead of addressing their psychological problems. It’s all really sad honestly because material things don’t bring happiness yet society makes us believe it does.
You made a very beautiful assessment. Factual information and lovely. I hope Sharon is doing well today, as well. ❤
Rent in London went from £290 a month to like £500 a week
It was for a one bloody house .. No you're paying 600 or more for a room :o
Did you actually mean 500 per week or 500 per month?
What?
Weekly or monthly?
How the people are surviving ?🤯🤯🤯
🎀London is a beautiful city but this gentrification, will force people out keeping only the super rich.🎀
@@mimi_elk.7614 Same as people do in New York.
Mama lost her baba.. its understandable she feels lost herself.
The word "void" spoke to me. Several times in my life, a void has been left by a death of someone close, a break up of a long-term relationship, the loss of a job, etc. We have to fill the painful void and sometimes it is not in a positive way. I've gone the route of buying clothes and then I realized that I was spending all of my salary on items that I would throw away in a year or two. I had nothing to show for all of my hard work and salary, so I turned my attention to saving for a home just like she is. It worked.
The voids I know but I always react by shutting myself inside and eating next to nothing.
This was filmed in 2005, and I so hope that she's gotten her St Lucia dream!
Bimse Smith yes! And could be working from home on the beach 🏝
lol i guessed exactly 2005
Was technology really this bad in 2005?! 😂
@@livewholistic yes!
Rent is so cheap in London
As soon as they said that her son had chosen to stay on the other side of the world, it all made sense to me!!
I’ve watched a total marathon of these and a lot of people have inspired sympathy but this one is quite clear why things went off the rails and as I’m watching it I found myself actively rooting for her.
Lovely lady, best wishes to achieving her goals. God Bless her.
Those banks really sucked for not consolidating their criminal interest charges.
Bless her heart, when she let go of the balloon it made me cry.
I SO hope everything worked out Sharon in the end.🎈❤
I cried when she let go of the balloon. I understand how hard it was.
I feel bad for her son leaving but I think she’s lovely I hope she manages to achiever her dream!
Wow.I feel like this show really helped her in so many ways.
I just want to give Sharron a big hug!
So judge-y. She obviously wore all three tops. I’ve done that before… I have three of the same AC/DC T-shirt and I wear them all… When one is dirty I will wear the clean one
Brookita's Adventures..I agree. Especially if it is a top you really like.
Yeah I have like three t shirts in different colours because I like the cut but wear different colours.
When I've found tops, especially when I am going on holiday, I do get 2 or 3 in different colours to cut down shopping time, and know I'll wear them as they suit me
People wont know, they’ll just think you stink as you’re wearing the same one all the time.
Buying multiples is not always about indecision; I know that tall-size 3/4 length sleeve front-button cotton or linen blouses from Lands End will always fit & look nice on me. That’s why I buy them in multiples about once every two years.
I too have a Land's End item that I have bought for years ... usually about 3 at a time but they get their wear ...
Same! Especially for certain body types that you know only certain items look good on but also are not always in style, you gotta grab them while they're "in"
Heck, it's even some many stylist recommend. Especially if you like the style. It's a good way to build a capsule collection. Base items in different colors that you can make different outfits from by accessorizing differently..
I really hope she saved the money and bought a place in St Lucia
Maturity goes far in all areas of life. Her rent alone means she could easily afford to save a lot for her future. St. Lucia, wow.... a dream that can come true
That rent for a whole house back in 2005 is incredibly low
She seems like a lovely lady wish her all the best
im a nail tech not licensed but i do my own acrilycs so its no wonder she spent a huge chunk of her budget on nails and me in my head "okay well thats understandable." hahahaha
I have been watching a number of episodes and I have been roughly calculating an exchange rate to USD in my head based on the current value. Well it turns out in 2005 the pound was worth 1.82 US dollars. Wow! That makes a lot more sense. These people are in a lot more debt than I realized…
I love the idea of sticking your dreams on the credit cards...as a reminder not to spend money.
Or just cut the cards up completely?!.... 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
@ashotofmercury won't do anything. They will just reorder a new one! When you're addicted to spending, you have to do it one step at a time to calm down the spending and bring the overall reality to the forefront.
Interesting, helpful program and she seems to be a sweet lady. I hope she was able to buy her St. Lucia home. Just another thought-it’s fun that Brits say “Brilliant!” when Americans might say “Great!”
Her room and kitchen actually looks organized. She hasn’t reached hoarders level
I relate so much to this woman, she ashamed and aware of her addiction... Hope she got better ♥️
I love this show🥰🥰🥰, I've seen the series before but it is worth seeing again! They come up with some of the most unique ways to refocus the spender!
They truly do help people on this show. I love it
290 quid rent in Brixton ohh how life has changed 😔
I know, I'm £430 in rural Lincolnshire.
I was wondering that myself.
I know, now rents are as high as £1000 a month in London.
Wow, it's cheaper in USA in Missouri 744 dollars a month mortage for 4 bedroom
@@jennylynn9668 yeah but then you have to live in Missouri
32% apr is criminal!
£290 per month rent in London?? We pay 4 times that for a broom cupboard 😫
This is like 15 yrs old
I totally relate to the emotional abuse inflicted by Sharon's relations. She's a lovely woman who deserves happiness. I hope her St Lucia dream came true.
If only I had a Benjamin in my life, I think I'd be more than ok....
This lady pretty much just found ways to spend anyway and got more money for her budget than most do.
39k in 2006 was bloody good money, even by London standards. I was on about 29k teaching around that time, and I felt relatively well off. She's buying tat and lots of it. Hopefully she got her act together.
Could have bought a home on that money, instead of renting? Instead spends it on clothes?
It is now!
It's so sad that her son doesn't talk to her. I hope they can reconnect again.
They can't stop her from going to Canada. She just needs to budget for hotel and food for herself. She should be selling those clothes, not giving them to her friend.
This one really hit my heart. I hope her son came back and her dreams came true.
Wasn't he dead?
@@babycakes8434 his in Canada at this point in time
One of their best episodes.
A lot of kids do that. Ditch the parent who raised them for the absent parent. Really sad. She is genuinely nice and should leave it to someone who cares not her son. He will be sniffing about once she is gone and he thinks inheritance is gonna be available. Kids like that always do. Hope she’s doing well now, she seemed so sad 😢
I think Sharon will make it. She's generally capable and organised. If she has a goal, she can do it.
Love how they showed her how she spends her funds. If I Have to, I Can survive on less but I do buy too much.
Indeed
She is so beautiful
Cannot blame the kid , being a young black man in London is not easy. Canada was and is a much better choice. She should understand and support the wise choice his son took.
Also parents know they don’t own their children, you give life to your kids to see them grow and live THEIR life, not to keep them tied to yours.
Emotions aren't cold hard logic, she did her best for her son and to lose him so suddenly after raising him is hard. She's probably thinking he'll marry there, raise a family etc. Parents are allowed emotions too.
@@hmmcinerney Sorry but nobody should just assume that their child will get married. I do not like the people who have been called in to help Sharon. Bitching about her fashion choices is not professional. And to me it's good to get few tops in different colours if she likes the style. All she'd need with those would be a pair of black trousers and/or a black skirt. It's buying them if she can't afford them that's wrong. One top every pay day might be a better option.
Imagine growing you one child maybe without the input of his father and his family. Then as soon as he don't need look after anymore he is gone to them. That is not a good feeling and not easy to get over.
@@anniespencer7879 I share your opinion. I also do have a Shirt that I really like in two different colours, and I wear them equaly. Also I think those two peoples who are there to help her are quite mean.
He ditched her for others. Some kids are just selfish sorry
What I will never understand is how can another woman participate in parent alienation. It’s sick. I feel for her. She a beautiful human being. Shame on the person that did this. Karma will take its place.
Oh, they found the fur coat! Very nice coat really. I hope she got this spending under control. She is such a sweetheart.
It would have been perfect for P-Diddy, lol. I think we've probably all bought something we imagined ourselves in but when we get it home, there's no way we'll ever be wearing it anywhere.
Animals were beaten to death for that coat. Just because it looks nice and it doesnt really.
I love that episode, that gave me hope...
The flip side of this show is visiting the sweatshops where these clothes are made. The workers sleep on the floor under their sewing machines.
Ouch
So moving. Good luck Sharon
She has no connection with anything but material goods now that her son has left. She needs to re-evaluate her life and keep her mind on her ultimate goal.
Cannot believe all the paper they wasted
No one has ever mentioned insecurity as the motivation to acquire stuff. I never owned much until I worked full time and even then, it was during the recession. So I never know if I will be able to own anything in the future.
LOL I love that Sharron wore a low-cut dress to the bank meeting, haha, nice try!
I can't stand my exwife, she's abused our daughter for years, but I still don't ban her from my home. The grandmother needs to grow up & stop trying to be that boy's mom.
Depends on what the mom did. Grandma has every right to say who is in her home also. The boy can go to his mom if he wants to see her.
Yes indeed😊
This lady needs a dave ramsey plan. 75 a month on clothes? Spare me. She'll never get her debt paid if she continues to spend.
OMG if I spent $75 (even in USD) that is way way way too much on my income now. I prolly would look like I stepped up though,, because right I wear nearly the same thing every week. oh well.
It’s way more than that! It’s like 2K plus a month....
@@j.h.6633 It is the budget they gave her to cut down. Yeah, its a lot less than her usual but she has enough clothes to last her 5 years or more.
£25 for nails!!! That’s $50nzd! And in 2020 girls are doing nails, lashes, botox ....insanity
Oh darling, you're so lovely, bless your heart.
Those loan interests are crazy!!!!!!!!!
How is the rent so cheap???
SueP-D This is from the 90’s
It might be a council property. Rent is always a lot cheaper than private.
Scifi 1701 Oh geez... 🤦🏼♀️
Sinead Mica Oh that makes sense. Apparently this show is really old, too. Also, I live in California where housing is ridiculously expensive.
Definitely council rates. Probably be twice that now.
I ❤ the sticker idea. She’s a success story I’d ❤ to know if she was able to get a house in St. Lucia.
Hmmm...I don't like the part where the picture of her child attached to the balloon...I won't let it go because I don't want other people to pick up my child's photo!!
Gluing down youre dreams on a creditcard. Great idea
Consider it this way. If you have a roof over your head, a warm bed to sleep in, food in your fridge and cupboards, gas and electirc on you have more then 80% of the worlds population. People need to start living with a sense of humility and be thankful for what they have. Life is not about clothes, gadgets, clubbing and fancy restaurants. It is about love, family, caring for others and leaving the world a better place for the next generation. Life is short and material possessions are useless after we are gone. The majority of humanity who have lived and died before us have been completely forgotten, those who are remembered are those who left their mark on this world.
Bless her heart 💔
That brick home is gorgeous!
Printing and wasting a room full of paper was a waste of time. I hate how reality tv shows like this are so wasteful with food and other resources.
She and her brother are so beautiful!!!
came here to say this. her face is so sad and beautiful
I live in St lucia and prices are very different now can tell you. However, if its Sharon's dream... its always achievable. I hope she is on the road to healing her soul. She deserves everything she is striving for. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ❤
Love Benjamin. He's such a great therapist
he is not a therapist. he is a "psychological coach" - he is not a doctor in any capacity, either in medicine or in educational doctorate (Phd). he is such a weird dude
Ben is brilliant. Very talented psychologist.
So... she is 27,000 in debt and the show bought her round trip tickets to St. Louisa. Was this a sweeps week?
It’s very hard for a mother. But she should be happy that her son has a father and the fathers family involved. He’s half them. My ex husband and his family really had no further connection with my daughter after our divorce. It’s very sad. A son needs his father. Children need both parents and extended families. Canada would have many great opportunities for her son.
Totally agree. I was wishing I could relocate to Canada. Her son will thrive out there, yes it can get very cold, but the lifestyles is much better. Also he is very young, he could split his time between the UK,/Canada.
I will watch all of these.
This one really broke my heart. I hope she managed to sort it out
Her salary is massive for back in the 90s, she has absolutely no reason to be in debt.
Exept it was filmed in the early 2000s.
Trauma
How lovely!
Watching this I wonder what life was like for her son and why he decided to stay in Canada. In the end I had to cut all contact with my own mother as she simply could not respect any boundaries I put in place. It took a long time for me to understand that just because she saw her intentions as good, it didn't negate the harm her actions had on me. Which meant I had allowed it to continue as an adult out of guilt and just absorbed the damage to myself.
In the end, it doesn't matter how 'nice' someone may be or how validated they may feel in their own actions. The damage they do is very real. Every time she talks about her son his name is closely followed by the word 'control' and she openly states she's upset because she's lost that control. The language she uses, the idea of it being something only she can understand. It's all very familiar to me.
As nice as everyone seems to think she is. I'll wager being the focus of that obsession and control was pretty damaging. Hence why the son has gone and stayed where he knows she can't get to him. He's taken an overt and deliberate action to escape her and one probably borne out of sheer necessity. The program makes it sound like the son was selfish in his actions which I think is totally wrong.
Wow! That comment of yours was very insightful and well stated. It definitely shines a different light on this episode. Very thought provoking. Thanks.🐦✌🏼
You may be projecting rather too much.
At 15, kids are very easily influenced by material circumstances. It sounds as if his father's family is very well off. If he has sporting aspirations, that could also be a strong pull.
It's also natural for teenaged boys to start detaching from their mothers.
Sharron may well have been overprotective but I don't think you should immediately assume that she's an abuser.
@@SuzanneU 'immediately assume' is intended to devalue my comment by framing it as a snap judgement based on too little information.
I watched the video and listened to the language she used to describe the situation and drew what I think is a pretty viable conclusion using my own experience of dealing with someone very much like her.
That's not projecting, that's experience. There's a difference.
The printer! 😂😂😂
Idk, it would be more acceptable to splurge on household needs and utilities, like buy laundry detergent in all size and scent variants. Lol
I agree. The lady who did her nails would of course, disagree because she is making a living. It is crazy that she spent 25 pounds on fingernails when that is half her budget. She is a lovely person though and I hope she gets a place in St. Lucia.
I've been on welfare and disability for YEARS. You better believe that I keep track of where the money is going. I am getting a new , very needed computer because my family is paying for it. I could never afford it on my disability. They also buy my clothes, my specialty shoes. My disability payments cover rent, bills and groceries. Nails? I don't get my nails done.
Sandra Nelson it is a great opportunity receiving help for health problems, which I have been lucky to receive of late! I also wear my shoes for years too!
NOT a fan of the balloon exercise 😕. V bad for sea life aside from anything else.
What I was thinking O_o
Im just the opposite, you literally have to drag me to buy something new and then later I will prob regret it 😀🤦♀️
Banks never want to help.
I have crippling debt. Been using credit to buy groceries. After paying bills that's the only way I can get food.
I don't have tons of clothes or anything. Just bad with managing money. Inflation hasn't helped
Sharon has loads of time on hand. She has enough clothes to go around so no need to purchase more right now
I had the feeling Benjamin liked her 😉🙃
Read the comments. Almost everyone likes her.
While I am sorry to hear that her son left her to stay with his fathers family -I do wonder how she could have afforded to keep him with her
I kinda wonder if he felt choked by all the stuff or if the money was super tight. I dunno maybe he just really loved Canada though.
£290 a month for a flat in Brixton ?!?! Oh my, how things have changed 😭
Indigo Dandelion Is that a little? A lot? It seems so cheap!
SueP-D very little, it wouldn’t even cost you that in a week now. Mind you, this is from 2005.
Judge Judy Oh yeah I keep forgetting these shows are old lol 😂 I’m in California so housing is ridiculous 😩
290 than it was now 890
Inflation
Jay's furry gilet is back in fashion now.
Not being able to see your child is very, very painful. Also the fact that she didn't have a say in it. You need therapy to help you proces. What Benjamin has started with. That being said, she could've bought herself a new tooth when she spent all her money on clothing. I don't get that, cause that's what I'd do first. Let me tell you what you can do to get anger out. See the person you're angry with in front of you sitting on a chair. Express your anger by talking, crying, screaming. It really works.
truebluewonderful what’s wrong with her tooth.
@@olly2027 She misses one.
I can't believe the way Sharon keeps laughing. Her situation is not funny; it's ridiculous.
This is the sadness episode I have seen, in terms of why she began spending, I do feel for her, she raised her son all this years and at 15 he just decided to live with his father's family in Canada. I wish he truly knew how sad his mum was about that. It would of been better if perhaps they could of contacted the son, so he can understand what he has done to his mum. 15 is not grown enough to make life long decisions and the fact the son probably knew she didn't get along with the dad's family etc.
I didn't like that they wanted to give her a £20 budget I have never seen them give someone so low. I didn't like that Benjamin bought her to a cave, again he has never bought anyone somewhere so dark before. Benjamin seems obsessed with the word anger, she wasn' t angry. She was very upset and sad that her son abandoned her after she raised him all these years! I didn't like the balloon exercise either, because the balloon interpretation was like he died. She seemed determined and hope her son returns and she got her finances in order.
I wish there was a follow up to this show, I wonder if she achieved her dream of a house in St Lucia.
Lighten up.
@@re7416 Comment on the video!!
@@NewDay-fk4jn Nah! (U've done enuff of that for 4 people.) Bye.
@@re7416That's your opinion and I don't care about it!!!
Wow that place is beautiful
Stop judging ppl you have no idea what she went through.
Truth comment
I hope she got to keep the display tee shirts😎
love her
Having something that's not alive and it handles u is a big problem