Talking About My Cotard Delusion | Mental Health | Maximus Walsh
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- Опубликовано: 24 янв 2023
- If you have followed me for some time then you may have heard me speaking about the mental disorder that I used to suffer from, known as Cotard's Delusion/Syndrome. I am sharing this video at the age of 30 years old. I developed Cotards Delusion, when I was about 16/17 years of age. I suffered with it until I was about 21/22 years old.
I would like to add here, that I see titles sensationalising this mental health condition. Calling it things like 'walking corpse syndrome' is insensitive and unnecessary. It has an official name, and it does not need any media channels to rebrand it for their own gain.
Since I shared this video, I have had a handful of people reaching out to me to talk to me about similar struggles. I have worked with a few of these people to guide them through the same steps that I took, and overall have found I have managed to help the majority improve their mental health. If you are looking for someone to talk to, then please feel free to reach out to me.
In this video I go into a bit more detail than I have before on the subject, to share a better understanding of what I have managed to work through using the practices that I teach today.
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I unfortunately suffered from this for almost a year. It got so severe that I was convinced that i never existed at all and I became nihilistic but not negatively. I felt scared because I had no way to logic out of this situation. I felt a strange sensation that I had "crossed to the other side " whatever that meant. And i KNEW WITH CERTAINTY i was never coming back. At the same time I felt extreme peace in knowing that. Its been over a year since I recovered and I can't even understand how i really seriously believed i didn't exist. Its almost difficult to understand what was once a solid undisputable existence.
Thanks for sharing bro! I have depression and adhs (the "Lazy" one) and kidneys that dont work properly. I dont have cotards, but sometimes the thought of "the world really did end in 2012" is coming through
When I was 15 I was in a car crash I shouldn’t have survived. About eight years later I started having some pretty severe symptoms like flashbacks. I can’t say I fully developed this delusion, but what you are describing is spookily close to what I was feeling during this time.
From 2019 to about 2023 I think I lived with this, I think I may still be living with it, I had already been in extreme isolation prior to covid and the ACTUAL isolation from social distancing and the pandemic created an environment in which I basically thought I was just laying in my bed, already dead. I lived with my parents who were extremely, extremely dirty and couldn't keep the house clean. Animal excrement, cigarette soot all over everything, hair everywhere, crumbs and dirt. It was unbearably dirty, and it was my childhood home. I would lay in my bed, surrounded by trash and maggots and the stench of the house and I'd think "what's the point? i am already dead." I literally felt like I could relate to actual corpses. Rotting, disgusting. To be honest I really still struggle with this line of thinking. I live by myself now, my house is clean and sterile, but I still do not feel like a real person. I don't really know how to get past this. Just trying to distract myself most of the time anymore
Very helpful. Thank you.
You are incredible. Thank you for sharing your story, it is immensely appreciated
I had a very intense near death experience and for years afterwards I had a LOT of trouble reintegrating my consciousness into this reality. Everything felt like a dream. Like I wasnt real, nothing ekse was real. Everything felt like a video game or dream almost. I knew I had died in that moment of my NDE and like yourself I felt as though I couldn't talk about this to anyone. It was extremely distressing, and I felt so alone. I am still in an existential crisis, but things are gradually feeling more real with medication and therapy.
Max it's interesting I suffer from cotards but I also have paranoid schizophrenia usually after a major episode I start to deal with cotards it's a headache when you see your own flesh rotting and don't feel the need to eat it's so hard to explain to people who haven't delt with it what it's like
Hello Maximus, I’m in a similar situation, it’s been almost a year since I had my first panic attack, and ever since then its been a progressive decent of this. I was a normal 18 year old up until then, although i might’ve always had this predisposition in me. Can’t even look at my family while I’m speaking to them. Anyways, I hope this message reaches u and i would greatly appreciate if we could get in contact
Ive heard this kind of thinking called solipsism, without the thinking you are dead part. Just thinking this reality is all in our head. But the kybalion does say that all is mental so this might all be gods dream at bedrock reality
Me, everytime i overdosed on ketamine and had LSD residues crossing in…. Don’t do drugs kids.
I believe im currently suffering from this, so this is very helpful. On a mild scale. Its a feeling I cant seem to shake off. I went on holiday to Seoul korea last year (4 months ago) on my first night i got super drunk and was lucky enough to get back to my hotel safely due to my friend, but i had alot of memory loss from the evening. Over the next few days I caught a bug and wasn't sleeping properly. On day 3 after not leaving the hotel room I confessed to my friend that i think i died ....that i died on my first night on holiday!. He laughed and told me to get outside and spend sometime in the sunshine and try to regulate my body clock. It seemed to help alot. But i keep coming back to those few days. A part of me is worried that ive died and that im either in limbo or that ive passed on and dont know it. I worry about my family having to get my body back from korea to the UK. I know its not true....but sometimes there is this weird doubt.
Gosh I couldn’t imagine how you must have felt. It sounds really weird.
my daugter has this delusion, she has had it since Covid. It is terrible for her and the family
So this is fascinating to me. On a few levels. From my perspective, it sounds like a classic "dark night of the souls?" do you think that aligns with your thinking on it? or is it different? I had a similiar experience but my egoic mind structure thought it was wonderful because I opened up to it all being an illusion. ALthough I took it as nothing mattered in a good way. My growth was actually did does still matter. Because until we do the purifying work we will remained trapped within the illusion and not really be free...be dragged by the thoughts and concepts as you say. Yoga and meditation also have freed me greatly. Not fully but 90 percent which im happy with atm. Im wondering your thoughts on that. Thanks for your video!
Really so glad you've recovered from the delusion. Wish you all the very best. 🙏🤍🙏
I have a loved one who is going through the same thing. He is 72 years old and I was wondering if you overcame this delusion without the help of medication. At any time did you stop eating and drinking?
I suffered with cotards it was a nightmare I could barely speak for three years.I was convinced I was dead and that I was apart of the anti Christ it was terrible.The Lord Jesus has helped me tremendously prayer works but there r some days i find it hard to speak i stay in a daze a
Please answer so what helped you ? I’ve been suffering for about 7 months