Full Episode: "Fix My Family Secret" (Ep. 104) | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network

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  • Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
  • FLASHBACK: During the first season of "Iyanla: Fix My Life," Iyanla headed to Texas to help a local DJ and his mother heal from a secret that has torn them apart. (Original air date: September 22, 2012) // Watch more episodes of "Iyanla: Fix My Life" on the Watch OWN app: bit.ly/watchow...
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    About Iyanla: Fix My Life:
    In the popular self-help series, “Iyanla: Fix My Life”, bestselling author, spiritual life coach and television host Iyanla Vanzant goes behind closed doors to help people whose relationships and lives have broken down.
    About OWN:
    Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey's heart and creative instincts inform the brand -- and the magnetism of the channel.
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    Full Episode: "Fix My Family Secret" (Ep. 104) | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network / own
    #fixmylife #iyanlavanzant #fixmylifefullepisode

Комментарии • 709

  • @nathdarofkoa754
    @nathdarofkoa754 3 года назад +994

    I'm a white guy I swear black older women have a special power of healing. God Bless.

    • @lf3541
      @lf3541 2 года назад +102

      Black girl magic.

    • @rickyo7061
      @rickyo7061 2 года назад +10

      @@lf3541 😂😂😂

    • @citygirlingraham
      @citygirlingraham 2 года назад +96

      Well, Iyanla is a very special woman with the ability to SEE other people’s pain and dysfunction, she is a soul like no other.

    • @anhonorableindependent9124
      @anhonorableindependent9124 2 года назад +72

      Yes!! My grandmother had a special way of speaking to our soul, you are absolutely 100% correct on this and I think it's awesome to hear this acknowledged.

    • @larrysmith2123
      @larrysmith2123 2 года назад +5

      disagree

  • @kathyd259
    @kathyd259 2 года назад +237

    The step-father is such a good man. This is family loves each other. I pray they continue to heal. Thanks, Iyanla.

  • @asimeon2133
    @asimeon2133 3 года назад +648

    I want a hug from Iyanla

  • @deirdreyearwood3383
    @deirdreyearwood3383 3 года назад +302

    The baby knows his blood. He is so comfortable with everyone, even fell asleep in Granny's arms. Alex is an amazing man and he should have been told the truth earlier. Iyanla is true in saying parents project their past into your future.

    • @PHlophe
      @PHlophe 3 года назад +1

      Deirdre, ur cute

    • @mediaiweb
      @mediaiweb 3 года назад +6

      Very true, He wasn't really too hurt about the lies per say, it was so much about keeping the lies from him that long for 23 years that hurt him the most.

    • @mediaiweb
      @mediaiweb 3 года назад

      @@dia.6213 agreed

    • @vleaky3430
      @vleaky3430 2 года назад +1

      past*

    • @jennifermeneghin6657
      @jennifermeneghin6657 Год назад

      ​@@mediaiweb a

  • @cosmiclight5429
    @cosmiclight5429 3 года назад +415

    We as black women have a spirit of healing that is unlike no other !!!!!!!

    • @bonniejones8178
      @bonniejones8178 3 года назад +7

      Amen

    • @austinrichards1740
      @austinrichards1740 3 года назад +2

      Yea

    • @doreen8855
      @doreen8855 3 года назад +5

      Say it again 👍❤️❤️🌹

    • @ltischpickover
      @ltischpickover 3 года назад +1

      Absolutely!!

    • @hemashirin9382
      @hemashirin9382 3 года назад +13

      No black, no brown, no white we are humans, That's right. Love you all. My prayers for you all!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @FunPhonicswithSelina
    @FunPhonicswithSelina 3 года назад +289

    His wife is quiet. That's so respectful and admirable

    • @chrisidornigie
      @chrisidornigie Год назад +11

      Why?

    • @wintermistique3399
      @wintermistique3399 6 месяцев назад +54

      Because she could have added her opinion which would have added more tension. But she was just there to quietly support him and only talked when Iyanla was speaking directly to her. She almost added a sense of calm to the situation. She seems super sweet.

    • @Bklynpimpstress
      @Bklynpimpstress 5 месяцев назад +23

      Being supportive doesnt alway mean you have to be vocal

    • @rebeccabaron1348
      @rebeccabaron1348 4 месяца назад +10

      @@Bklynpimpstressit wasn’t her place. She did the wise and right thing. Too many people believe that their opinion and intrusiveness is ok.

  • @anakmasjid9543
    @anakmasjid9543 3 года назад +386

    "When the truth is evident, resistance is futile. " iyanla vanzant

    • @billyzee261
      @billyzee261 3 года назад +4

      Please, please people, get yourself and your family vaccinated today! Together we can defeat this deadly virus, be safe and be kind to one another!

    • @noorgonzalez1076
      @noorgonzalez1076 6 месяцев назад

      An the truth will set u free

  • @claireninsiima73
    @claireninsiima73 Год назад +73

    This step dad is the best..

    • @audacityhour3104
      @audacityhour3104 Год назад +1

      Ain he tho ... ❤💪🏾❤💪🏾❤💪🏾 he didn’t have to be here at all n he chose love every single day ❤💪🏾❤💪🏾❤💪🏾

  • @davinamiller1291
    @davinamiller1291 3 года назад +339

    I'm mad bcuz it's a bad lie but did anybody thank Alex for being the man through all of this !!

    • @hi-kl2bm
      @hi-kl2bm 3 года назад +22

      I agree 100% cuz it was the mom’s responsibility to tell him!

    • @cassandrawilliams2371
      @cassandrawilliams2371 3 года назад +3

      This was my thought

    • @barbarajoseph444
      @barbarajoseph444 3 года назад +2

      She could have told him sooner but she did what she had to do I also feel for him seems like the step father did a great job

    • @brokgrl85
      @brokgrl85 Год назад +6

      Jose did thank him when they talked

    • @kamarafreckleton3108
      @kamarafreckleton3108 5 месяцев назад +1

      His thank him for being there,listen back again

  • @kerryehill5217
    @kerryehill5217 3 года назад +140

    Mom has some deep shame. She needs to let that crap go. It's keeping her from a happy family. I understand JC wants to know his bio-dad. But the people that he should be most angry with are his maternal grandparents. It was their interference and decisions that caused his mother so much shame and guilt that she can't deal with. The dad that raised him is the best one of them.

    • @mikailabdal-jamiil9624
      @mikailabdal-jamiil9624 Год назад +4

      I think the mom could benefit from some therapy to deal with the pain of being rejected by her boyfriend. She said she really loved him, but it seems like he did not feel the same way or he would have contacted her later on in life. He really hurt her.

    • @chrisidornigie
      @chrisidornigie Год назад +2

      Disagree, his parents were both complicit in the lie… The mom should’ve told the truth and not hide behind Maternal GP thinking…

    • @elaine8013
      @elaine8013 6 месяцев назад +4

      In our generation having a child out of wedlock was such a major disgrace. Our families immediately would take control of the situation and make all the decisions without taking a second to think of the pain the mother was going through. I saw it with my cousin. She was15and was never the same after having her baby boy. She was never mentally healed and nobody even tried to help her. All the pain she and her son went through was just horrible.

    • @nicolewalls8076
      @nicolewalls8076 3 месяца назад +1

      It was just sad to see that the Son would rather know of the rejection from his paternal family. Rejection does not feel better than a lie. If he had to grow up knowing he was rejected, he may not be the man he is today.

  • @gloryolomi7
    @gloryolomi7 3 года назад +206

    Mom Iyanla thank you for showing me my wounds and leading me to healing. I love you from Tanzania🇹🇿😍🔥💪🏾

    • @hamdanfazza6642
      @hamdanfazza6642 3 года назад +3

      Hi

    • @TT-th1gb
      @TT-th1gb 2 года назад +1

      That's beautiful 😍 ❤ 💕
      bless you

    • @pearlk.diphoko
      @pearlk.diphoko 2 года назад +1

      Glo this is the reason why I follow OWN TV shows. The hosts are the people who once been broken 💔💔 they healed yes and what I like is the fact that they are sharing the experiences with the World 🌎🌎 which can help shape it to be a better place for everyone. Yeah 👍👍👍😂

    • @leilaikusura4904
      @leilaikusura4904 2 года назад +1

      Amen sister. Mama Iyanla has supported my growth and elevation for the past 10yrs. Via this show, via her books and now through social media, she keeps guiding me. I healed deep pain with her support, all the way out here in Tz😁🇹🇿🇹🇿. I share her teachings with everyone.💜

  • @kadeembest4752
    @kadeembest4752 2 года назад +150

    This woman is a HEAVEN sent! I never physically met her but she has helped me so much!

    • @mahoganysweets67
      @mahoganysweets67 6 месяцев назад +1

      Same

    • @shenise1294
      @shenise1294 5 месяцев назад +1

      Ditto ❤

    • @dianemakwela1335
      @dianemakwela1335 4 месяца назад

      I can totally relate, Iyanla has helped me through many situations! I owe you big time Iyanla, more than you can imagine. You're truly God sent❤

  • @wandaphillips2506
    @wandaphillips2506 3 года назад +101

    He deserved to know the truth.

  • @dbgreene9020
    @dbgreene9020 2 года назад +110

    As someone who was also adopted...I am forever grateful for my parents telling me I was adopted from the beginning. No secrets. No drama. Completely up front and honest. I felt special my entire childhood. Keeping it from your child is damaging and selfish.

  • @bertism88
    @bertism88 3 года назад +104

    My BF have me rolling right now he said iyanla sounds like Whoopi Goldberg lol 🤣 she does

    • @ayyboii8108
      @ayyboii8108 3 года назад +6

      🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

    • @BriannaMcCarty
      @BriannaMcCarty 3 года назад +8

      STOP!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @VegitoBlackityBlack
      @VegitoBlackityBlack 3 года назад +3

      @@BriannaMcCarty I'm her BF and lol

    • @fsamedi
      @fsamedi 3 года назад +6

      Aren't they both from Brooklyn?

    • @TheTia3456
      @TheTia3456 6 месяцев назад +2

      She looked like her in one of those younger pictures in the beginning.

  • @sylmarie6494
    @sylmarie6494 3 года назад +66

    Iyanla, I don't know how you do this kind of work and not feel exhausted. Those negative, heavy energies are so hard to deal with. It really takes a special soul such as yourself to do this work day-in and day-out. I admire you greatly, and as I sit in my home in the forest, I feel nothing but gratitude for you because your work is helping our world to become a far better place. We need more forgiveness, love, kindness, empathy, and gratitude, and I feel so happy to see the heaviness lifted from the souls of those who have been fortunate enough to have gotten your special embrace. I thank the Universe for you. Sending you and all who read this much love and light!! Please continue to let your light shine in those dark places.

    • @TT-th1gb
      @TT-th1gb 2 года назад

      Perfectly said 👏 👌 🙌 👍 💯 ❤

    • @Bklynpimpstress
      @Bklynpimpstress 5 месяцев назад

      Believe she feel exhausted she take on a lot of ppl energy but i sure she knows how to release herself from those energies

    • @eliocosmos
      @eliocosmos 3 месяца назад +1

      Iyanla has said several times in interviews and other places that she doesn't take it on because she's not invested in the outcome. Her job is to give people the tools to heal but after that she steps away. Or something like that.

    • @awalker8371
      @awalker8371 Месяц назад

      I think that’s why she step away. She needed the break because I believe she did take on some of the responsibility

  • @Jwhoyou
    @Jwhoyou Месяц назад +2

    She is so funny “come on wade in the water boo!”

  • @pennypillow4445
    @pennypillow4445 3 года назад +234

    i hate when kids are angry at the mum for staying but not the DAD WHO LEFT. not saying shes right but come on. being a single mum is hard

    • @lj9578
      @lj9578 3 года назад +39

      Do we know that his biological father left? If she got married and lived a lie exactly how would he have been involved? He's was angry at his mother for lying, he wasn't given a chance to be angry at his biological father. And then not being supportive of him having a relationship with his biological father now because of her own hurt.

    • @intrinsiccinema7374
      @intrinsiccinema7374 3 года назад +30

      its the lie why he angry, and I'm convinced some women tell half truths and never been held accountable, as far as single mothers, here's the solutions for those it applies don't have babies out of marriage

    • @abbassaquee286
      @abbassaquee286 3 года назад +10

      The son should cut is mum some slack because was a child when she had him and the father as well a child whe they fall pregnant itvmust been scary for them, at least his mum did well by bringing him up a well trained young man.

    • @InLoveWithaPaladin
      @InLoveWithaPaladin 3 года назад +19

      Right the Dad gets off the hook the mom gets all the smoke
      The Dad AND his family knew
      The Dad made the decision not to be involved as well

    • @alexia8431
      @alexia8431 3 года назад +17

      You do know that some kids are angry at their moms more than their absentee dads because their moms probably did hurtful things to them while raising them, RIGHT?? Kids don’t always just take out their anger on the parent who stayed for no reason. That’s such an insensitive thing to say.

  • @sandie9968
    @sandie9968 3 года назад +100

    Omg . hes gorgeous!....i feel that his real dad should have made himself known at some point....even if he was afraid in the beginning......but some men just hate paying child support..n thats the truth!

    • @dianamedelezbain6382
      @dianamedelezbain6382 3 года назад +8

      As Iyanla said you're judging and blaming his 17 year old mother you're also blaming and judging a 15 year old boy as a father.

    • @Letstalkwithesiri
      @Letstalkwithesiri 3 года назад +9

      @@tangajTANG Thank you. My son is seven years. And his dad sees him at the store and walks past him. Should I grab him and force him to identify as a father? I don't want my child to feel rejected. And I'm not going to cause any drama. A grown man should fight for his child.

    • @vanessashimoni6548
      @vanessashimoni6548 5 месяцев назад +4

      @@dianamedelezbain6382 He didn’t stay 15 years old. What’s the excuse for never attempting to reach out to his son after he got older.

  • @loo762
    @loo762 3 года назад +54

    This is a hard show to watch. I grew up with generations of women in my family who lied for various reasons to their children. When we were young, we wouldn't dare push our elders for the truth. We knew they loved us. Out of respect we kept silent. We kept quiet out of respect. We kept and accepted the lie. Now, the elders are either dead or senile. We will never know the truth. But, we continue to love and respect them. But, the truth is the lie is breaking apart the my extended family. Now we are living with the consequences.
    They are doing the right thing by working on the problem, now.

    • @RealElongatedMuskrat
      @RealElongatedMuskrat 3 года назад +9

      There's so much truth in this! Generations of my family have carried on the silence and the lies, well intentioned and out of respect I'm sure, but just as you said, they're now all gone or unable to tell their truths even if they wanted to. So much is lost, so many questions left unanswered and secrets still buried. My sister and I vowed to break the pattern. We believe it led to more hurt than help. Wounds covered, but never healed. We won't pass this on.

    • @AtheneHolder
      @AtheneHolder 5 месяцев назад +3

      THIS
      the problem is the lies get uncovered in the most upsetting ways and at the most inconvenient of times.....

  • @Letstalkwithesiri
    @Letstalkwithesiri 3 года назад +60

    I wish I can find a man like this to raise my son. I would be grateful forever.

    • @andrearidgell7350
      @andrearidgell7350 2 года назад +5

      PREACH!!! We always see ppl undeserving destroying the gud men tht are left out thr. An the deserving ppl are left feeling bitter an wondering wht is wrong wit us tht we cant find tru love. we deserve to be loved unconditionally also.

    • @lovingmylife528
      @lovingmylife528 2 года назад +1

      @@andrearidgell7350 wow this hit home

  • @simplylexiee2013
    @simplylexiee2013 3 года назад +154

    These episodes really help in ways I can’t explain 🙏🏾

    • @TheMwendaa
      @TheMwendaa 3 года назад +7

      With our own self awareness and own healing

    • @thora2515
      @thora2515 3 года назад

      Precious i enjoy every single one of your show every time i watch them .some strengthen me in some way.some emotional.i love all.there is so much when i will done.love.I love when u smile and also when u are vex.

    • @QueenRissa_34
      @QueenRissa_34 3 года назад +3

      Righttttt!!! I feel the same way….this aired in 2012 and I’m rewatching it now in 2021….🙌🏾

    • @mommylewslearningcorner8625
      @mommylewslearningcorner8625 2 года назад

      Definitely sis

  • @daantics6844
    @daantics6844 5 месяцев назад +11

    I love how she helps EVERYBODY and how everyone opens up to her.

  • @shawna-leechung149
    @shawna-leechung149 2 года назад +45

    The mother is still hurting that the love of her life left her when she needed him the most ...its clear she hasn't let go of the biological father

  • @cocot9414
    @cocot9414 3 года назад +106

    I'm sorry but the sister and mom are manipulators. They cry to disarm him. He has the dam right to be angry. I totally understood why the mom lied but at some point he deserves to know the whole truth. Stop worrying about how you come off in the story and tell him the truth. Let the man have whatever relationship he wants with his "bio" dad.

    • @jamesmagee189
      @jamesmagee189 3 года назад +2

      Coco T you are on point

    • @user-jw4xu4xq9f
      @user-jw4xu4xq9f 2 года назад +1

      For real

    • @chriseggleston7573
      @chriseggleston7573 4 месяца назад +2

      I think Jose is working this beyond acceptable. It's not ok to broadcast and destroy the mom and man who raised him. He's now banking on it

    • @jasonhallowsworth6889
      @jasonhallowsworth6889 3 месяца назад

      It's easy to blame the parent that has always been there. He needs to show her mercy and grace. Other than that lie he has no complaints. His father never went looking for him and there is no rage there. It's weird, suck it up butter cup.

    • @lmmack8675
      @lmmack8675 3 месяца назад

      I Agree 100%

  • @tracykusterbeck8784
    @tracykusterbeck8784 3 года назад +92

    I am upset because they never addressed his RIGHT to have a relationship with his Bio father. It has nothing to do with the relationship he has with his Mom Dad and sister. I know. I lived this as an adoptee reuniting with my bio family.

    • @donnasantiago5016
      @donnasantiago5016 3 года назад +13

      U r right. My mom told me that if I started a relationship with my bio dad that she would disown me. I did not start a relationship with him after all and she still stop speaking to me in 2010, because she heard bio dad's brother and sister tried to be in contact with me. So u r right, I wish the spoke on that aspect as well.💝

    • @michaelmaps2004
      @michaelmaps2004 3 года назад +8

      @@donnasantiago5016 so sad. Hope you will heal someday

    • @donnasantiago5016
      @donnasantiago5016 3 года назад +1

      @@michaelmaps2004 thank u so much!!

    • @michaelmaps2004
      @michaelmaps2004 3 года назад +1

      @@donnasantiago5016 you are welcome

    • @mediaiweb
      @mediaiweb 3 года назад +3

      dude ran and she had to deal with it for 23 years on her own as for the father oze already settled that . it dont take long for men.

  • @Lucky-dk7be
    @Lucky-dk7be 3 года назад +88

    Alex is a great dad 👍

    • @moniquelacosta5170
      @moniquelacosta5170 2 года назад +3

      Alex should recieve a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the back with praise for raising a child that is not his own. Thank God for men like Alex.

    • @tasneemfrost9004
      @tasneemfrost9004 2 года назад

      Wish iyanla was in south africa me an my mum seperated i went thru same patern wt her mum did to her she did to me im living in pain way mum makes me look bad treat me bad but when she need my money she wl mesage after money get to her i dont exist ths patern is going on for 5years now am so broken bt i go with flow just i respect mum and dont want people talk bad an say am nt giving money my mum

    • @talithasuya8908
      @talithasuya8908 2 года назад

      @@tasneemfrost9004 This sounds so painful.

  • @emmas9928
    @emmas9928 3 года назад +57

    *This was broadcast 9 years ago, does anyone have an update? please and thanks.*

  • @latinadoll74
    @latinadoll74 3 года назад +29

    Iyanla, my family needs you. We have 3 generations of pain. 😢

    • @manyachampagne5239
      @manyachampagne5239 2 года назад +3

      Did you write her a letter?

    • @emmalewis1979
      @emmalewis1979 5 месяцев назад

      😢😢😇😇✌🏿✌🏿🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @vonablack2698
    @vonablack2698 3 года назад +22

    Mom isn't being transparent she's still holding back. I haven't seen one tear drop 😒😒

    • @mactrek2
      @mactrek2 4 месяца назад +2

      Tears don't mean anything. Even a con artist can produce tears, all the while destroying your life.

    • @ashleyw.6702
      @ashleyw.6702 3 месяца назад

      Mom is angry because she is getting the heat, while the deadbeat dad got forgiveness. Maybe she had trouble understanding why she was the one who had to ask for forgiveness. But, it's because she was the one living the lie... In time, I am sure it will sink in.

  • @katlegosefako955
    @katlegosefako955 3 года назад +61

    I'm convinced Iyanla is an angel 🙏🙏

  • @OG_Bap
    @OG_Bap 3 года назад +18

    This proves that those who want to be healed and go into that process with eyes open, they are going to progress.

  • @lndavis01
    @lndavis01 3 года назад +28

    Love Jc on the radio to this day... he has come a long way. So proud of his growth

  • @poohvie2513
    @poohvie2513 2 года назад +13

    That poor mom has so much deep-rooted PAIN. SHE doesn't even know how to hug properly, she can't even let iyanla hold her through it. I just want to hug her and help her love herself.
    You did what you thought was best mom.

  • @yogithelady80
    @yogithelady80 3 года назад +17

    Iyanla is Mama Odie from Princess and the Frog!!! Full of wisdom, vision, magic , real with the laugh to boot!

    • @PHlophe
      @PHlophe 3 года назад +1

      Yolo, you watched too many cartoons

    • @yogithelady80
      @yogithelady80 3 года назад +1

      @@PHlophe 🤷🏾‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @eaqua56
      @eaqua56 2 года назад

      Not really

  • @CK-pl4xu
    @CK-pl4xu 3 года назад +71

    It's good to see Iyanla again. From listening to you solve problems am learning a lot about myself and how to handle hurt.

    • @Niyasutton
      @Niyasutton 3 года назад +3

      Same💯I’m grateful for her

    • @misstati-tatianna1627
      @misstati-tatianna1627 3 года назад +1

      Yeah but I think these are old check his mom phone

    • @hnpet4245
      @hnpet4245 3 года назад +3

      Me too. I’ve learnt so much and I’ve healed so much

    • @TT-th1gb
      @TT-th1gb 2 года назад +1

      Yes!

  • @mrs.j.j.5121
    @mrs.j.j.5121 3 года назад +38

    The mother and sister cried through itbut not once did I hear them acknowledge Jose and understanding why he feels this way.Kinda dismissive to his feelings wtf

    • @user-jw4xu4xq9f
      @user-jw4xu4xq9f 2 года назад +2

      Fr they cried so much and I didn't understand why

  • @hopemuturi8490
    @hopemuturi8490 3 года назад +16

    This is incredible.
    Alex is an amazing man. We celebrate his golden heart.

  • @zing5900
    @zing5900 3 года назад +26

    Iyanla you ALWAYS make me cry with your hug's. But I FEEL AND SEE THE GOD IN YOU. GOD BLESS ALL YOU DO.

  • @SunFlower-x3
    @SunFlower-x3 3 года назад +66

    Iyanla, is beautiful ❤️💐 intelligent, capable and worth every dime she make.

    • @PHlophe
      @PHlophe 3 года назад +1

      when Iyanla told him, oh you mean to tell me you ain't called yo mam in six yeeeears ? now look what done happen. oh sheeeeit !

    • @hamdanfazza6642
      @hamdanfazza6642 3 года назад

      Hi

  • @marlenenoubet4927
    @marlenenoubet4927 3 года назад +17

    Shout out to papa Alex👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @kelliemanning1063
    @kelliemanning1063 2 года назад +20

    I am a little shocked that the mother decided to tell her son the truth about his birth father at that stage in his life but then she explained the age she found out about her own adoption and it all made sense. I myself am the youngest of 6 children (3 adopted, 3 fostered) and my parents told us and talked to us from a very young age that we had been adopted. I think it is so important to have open communication, no secrets and know the situation especially from the birth parents side and the situation at that time in their life. My mother has always talked to me about how young my birth mother was, what struggles she may have had and the hard decision she had to make. This made me understand the situation better, appreciate the truth and set me up well to not feel resentment towards my birth mother when I tracked her down when I was 20 yrs old. I know my birth mother appreciated this as I acknowledged the hard decision she made to give me a better life. I have even explained my adoption to my 8 year son as he wanted to know why I have 2 mummies. Open, honest conversations are good as the truth always comes out and can be upsetting and confusing to someone who doesn't know the situation at the time.

  • @diysimpleartsncrafts5617
    @diysimpleartsncrafts5617 3 года назад +17

    Ms. Iyanla, If you're seeing this message. I would like for you to know that I think you're AWESOME!!!
    I felt your energy constructing this family together. It was extremely POWERFUL ! Thank you for sharing your blessed precious gift. Peace!

  • @waevataytay
    @waevataytay 3 года назад +31

    Everybody is so hurt in this family, if they can only let go and heal and see the bigger picture and show luv and kindness toward the past and each other. It would make the process of life easier. What else are we fighting about, itz to luv and be luved

    • @peacegiver1000
      @peacegiver1000 3 года назад +1

      When emotions are involved your feelings can go from far left to far right.....lol unfortunately that is us human beings.

    • @natinamack5123
      @natinamack5123 3 года назад

      Well said!

  • @floramercury
    @floramercury 3 года назад +22

    That fear 😰 of judgement and to keep up appearances to please others first instead of supporting your own first - that’s what cause many to lie - yet what lies beneath of those whom we try to please - if only we knew - we all need to stop fearing what others might say/think and put self first and let God alone be the Judge.

  • @xyxy5978
    @xyxy5978 2 года назад +8

    The stepdad ssems to be really nice.

  • @hottnessfarra
    @hottnessfarra 3 года назад +42

    She never mentioned she tried to reached out to his biological dad. She was hiding behind that lie hard.

  • @Bklynpimpstress
    @Bklynpimpstress 5 месяцев назад +3

    His baby just felt a grandmother's love and relaxed so much he fell asleep. Babies can feel tension and react to it but he felt so safe in his grandma arms it didnt bother him

  • @donnasantiago5016
    @donnasantiago5016 3 года назад +49

    This is eerily similar to my own life story. I have been waiting for this episode because I saw a few clips a year ago. The main difference is my mother has not spoken to ME since August 3rd 2010. I lost my family because of her lies.

    • @letakeokuk5446
      @letakeokuk5446 3 года назад +14

      Lies, shame, guilt and secrets can destroy you if you let it. Family traumas never spoken create souls that are difficult to heal…..✌🏾

    • @2024Betterthanever
      @2024Betterthanever 3 года назад +14

      Mine too..I was Devastated at 51 to learn that my mother's husband is not my father. My aunt told me at 15 but my mother denied it until a few months ago. What hurts most is she basically stopped speaking to me instead of helping me through it and I still don't know who my real father is....I feel lost...

    • @sunshine843boys
      @sunshine843boys 3 года назад +9

      @@2024Betterthanever that's awful. So sorry 😐

    • @dromooo6922
      @dromooo6922 3 года назад +3

      @@2024Betterthanever soo bad..
      Sorry okay..
      I pray you find him 💜

    • @donnasantiago5016
      @donnasantiago5016 3 года назад +7

      @@2024Betterthanever it's the same for me. I still don't know who my real father is. I'm 40 now and it still hurts me so much! My mother has not spoken or seen me since 2010. My sister also doesn't speak to me. My mother is afraid to face the lie. And it hurts that my grandmother and my aunt all kept the lie going. And the man I thought might be my real dad thinks that I am his too. I have people I don't know that contact me and say that they r my uncles and aunts and cousins. Its so confusing to not know. But the man my mom married when I was 8 yrs old, is the man she said was my real dad. So even though he raised me since I was young I have NEVER been able to call him "Dad". Sorry to go on and on. Today, father's day, has been a difficult day for me for years.💝much love to u.

  • @JLPerryTV
    @JLPerryTV 3 года назад +11

    When she walked across that pool, I started crying. It was like watching a baptism

  • @matlhatsiaphane6805
    @matlhatsiaphane6805 3 года назад +20

    I love how Iyanla did that mini dance at the thought of the baby😊😊

    • @PHlophe
      @PHlophe 3 года назад +2

      its the Xhosa grannie dance.

  • @daniellemiller2547
    @daniellemiller2547 2 года назад +20

    This episode transcends race....this is about confronting the truth no matter how painful it is and overcoming it. And hats off to ALL Stepparents who rise up to raise, love, and embrace stepchildren as their own. ❤️

  • @tiheshakp
    @tiheshakp 2 года назад +8

    Iyanla is so powerful and inspirational. She was made for this!

  • @gerri-mayphillipstellnolie9799
    @gerri-mayphillipstellnolie9799 3 года назад +27

    Iyanla. It’s a lie. The dad. If that’s the way you wanna put it. Iyanla. That’s the only way to put it. Brilliant the truth

  • @pretoriaafro5074
    @pretoriaafro5074 3 года назад +24

    Sorry this happened to him, he seems so cool and tv

  • @charity4908
    @charity4908 3 года назад +7

    Families issues/matters can be very heartbreaking...oh my. The way Iyanla does it, it has a style in its own zone. I love you Iyanla especially for fixing families' lives.

  • @dy6277
    @dy6277 3 года назад +12

    This one had me more emotional than any other episode I've seen... I'm so happy for them... This young man was amazing... In the midst of all this, the parents did an amazing job raising him and his sister... Iyanla just had to lead the way... ❤

  • @claireBwiza_4029
    @claireBwiza_4029 3 года назад +14

    Some useless parents get credits and those who sacrificed, protected the kid during discriminations, suffering, been there no matter what for the kid, and kept the child in a happy place are blamed at the end for not exposing the child to that useless person. (NOT this episode.) I'm talking about the real situation we see every day.

    • @rhodaa.t557
      @rhodaa.t557 2 года назад +1

      Exactly. It’s how the deadbeats get off easily whiles the ones who stayed and struggled are blamed in the end for doing what might have been best. The 15 yrs old dad knew about his son, what was his excuse for staying away? Yet he is now the loving father and the mother and stepdad who raised him to become what he is today are the evil ones. I ask myself, if he had known earlier, how would that info change anything? Will his dad have come around ? Or still be a deadbeat? Most kids take such information wrong when they are young. Most kids grow up with issues of self esteem thinking there weren’t good enough that’s why daddy never stayed. It affects a lot of people that’s why most parents wait until the kids are older and mature to tell them so they can understand circumstances better. Yet kids turn on them.

    • @claireBwiza_4029
      @claireBwiza_4029 2 года назад

      @@rhodaa.t557 I agree with you 100%

  • @AThom-fz9km
    @AThom-fz9km 3 года назад +8

    His mother, was wrong, she should of told her son, that it wasn't his real father. I understand she was 17years, at the time. But when she became a woman. It was her responsibly, to speak her truth. Its bad also that the stepfather, didn't inform the child. He wasn't his real father. I feel for him.

  • @sarklensphotography458
    @sarklensphotography458 3 года назад +57

    🇬🇭🇬🇭🇬🇭 love from Ghana

  • @joyngaru
    @joyngaru 3 года назад +9

    Mothers go through a lo for their kids. i feel for Jc's mom that she had to live with that for that long.

  • @kristinasymons
    @kristinasymons 2 года назад +7

    I have only seen clips of Iyanla, as I don’t watch tv, but like 5 mins into this, I really like her. She seems to really be able to connect with people 🙂

    • @belle3055
      @belle3055 2 года назад +1

      You're late. She's awesome

  • @yemisrachgebru7298
    @yemisrachgebru7298 3 года назад +10

    Lovely 😍 😍 Daddy and all the 👪 👨‍👧‍👧 👩‍👧‍👧 new baby and wife 😍 ❤ 💕 😘 Happy Father 👨 ❤ day

  • @Dream-xe8ej
    @Dream-xe8ej 3 года назад +12

    Cried the entire show...

  • @jeralynellis2174
    @jeralynellis2174 2 года назад +4

    Im glad his wife didn't create anything from his mess and let him handle on his own with her right there.

  • @rachelle_banks
    @rachelle_banks 3 года назад +12

    They say that if you feed a kid long enough he'll look like you. And uh... This gentleman looks like the man that raised him to me.

  • @rosettajones1352
    @rosettajones1352 5 месяцев назад +2

    That was beautiful! He has an awesome step father too. ❤ to the entire family

  • @SpadesWinner
    @SpadesWinner 3 года назад +12

    Why would the parents let that 15yrs old be away from their grandchild. If it was my son yes I be mad for having the 17yr pregnant but then I would say well go take care of your responsibilities.

  • @shayb.2495
    @shayb.2495 3 года назад +13

    There was a concerted effort to create this situation. Mom is not totally at fault for this situation.

    • @ashleyw.6702
      @ashleyw.6702 3 месяца назад

      That's what Iyanla helped them all to see... Everyone was living the lie (except the kids)... The mother, her husband and the biological dad. All of them.

  • @mediaiweb
    @mediaiweb 3 года назад +5

    The truth shall set u free and the lies shall keep you captive the choice is yours if u want to be free or u want to inprisoned by your lies.

  • @josephvalentine7
    @josephvalentine7 3 года назад +36

    She shouldn’t feel bad for lying to her son to protect him . Mom did a good work rearing her son and that’s why he’s successful.
    To the step dad , he’s a true champion, he help rear a child that’s not his child but loved him and treated him no different!
    Salute to the Step dad !
    And big ups to you Mom, you did a good work in your son !

    • @StaciaAmnaber
      @StaciaAmnaber 3 года назад +21

      Oh yeah ... it's okay to LIE and cause this family destruction. YEAH sure ...

    • @josephvalentine7
      @josephvalentine7 3 года назад +2

      @@StaciaAmnaber The son should be mature enough to understand the situation, love help you understand. The question is ,have you lied more than once ?

    • @StaciaAmnaber
      @StaciaAmnaber 3 года назад +26

      @@josephvalentine7 This was not just one little lie. It's a lie she told everyday for 23 years. And you see the results of this lie? Devastating. She did NOT do a good job. Commending such behavior is amoral.

    • @josephvalentine7
      @josephvalentine7 3 года назад +5

      @@StaciaAmnaber I think it’s a culture difference and that’s understandable .
      The son has a career ,a happy wife and son ;
      The mom and step dad did a great job lie and all !

    • @StaciaAmnaber
      @StaciaAmnaber 3 года назад +12

      @@josephvalentine7 She did such a GREAT job she needed someone to Fix her Life. Yeah that's great parenting

  • @claudettemichel5604
    @claudettemichel5604 3 года назад +24

    I Love you Iyanla you are a Angel to the humanities I'm in Haiti

  • @emmahmaepa7071
    @emmahmaepa7071 3 года назад +16

    iyanla you are such an amazing woman on this earth❤❤

  • @catherinesmith263
    @catherinesmith263 Год назад +2

    Lol he went in not believing she was gonna get to the bottom of it and as usual she got em

  • @melanatedqueen
    @melanatedqueen 3 года назад +25

    Family secrets..SMH
    Nothing I hate more..

  • @nasirben4112
    @nasirben4112 2 года назад +9

    Iyanla really changing lives . Love her for that ♥️

  • @nreynolds75243
    @nreynolds75243 5 часов назад

    Whoever is there to take the time to raise you, care and love you is the parent. His step-father comes across as a kind man. This is the father he knows, why would it change? Be grateful for what you have.

  • @lindamcmillan2548
    @lindamcmillan2548 Год назад +3

    I'm happy that he was finally told about his father, but I don't understand how he could make a relationship with his father and walk away from his mother. The person who tried to protect him all his life. He didn't seem to blame his father for leaving him.

    • @forallthestupidshit3550
      @forallthestupidshit3550 Год назад

      His father didn't technically lie to him. His mother did.
      I'm not excusing it, but i can see how the logic works.

    • @chrisidornigie
      @chrisidornigie Год назад +1

      His mom and stepdad lied to him, in his mind their entire relationship feels like a lie/a way to control him to ease their own minds

  • @AThom-fz9km
    @AThom-fz9km 3 года назад +5

    Her emotions, is focus on her hurt, conceiving an child alone, She shows, no emotion, about the lie she denied her son.

  • @melaninskinn8515
    @melaninskinn8515 3 года назад +8

    Antee Iyanla is magical🙇🏿 and i need a hug from too

  • @tetegriffiths1956
    @tetegriffiths1956 5 месяцев назад +2

    She sacrificed to raise him now he is praising the person never take care him. He is very selfish really this makes me sad.

  • @AThom-fz9km
    @AThom-fz9km 3 года назад +5

    Her pain, isn't his pain. I think it's a disgrace, that the step dad sit there cold, like ice. His response, I didn't think he would act like that. How is the young man suppose to respond, if he is denied the truth.

  • @bacardid8979
    @bacardid8979 3 года назад +5

    This woman has a GIFT!!!!

  • @Sabohnana
    @Sabohnana 3 года назад +10

    Miss Vanzant..you are good!!!!!

  • @redcokamixed6716
    @redcokamixed6716 6 месяцев назад +1

    He had a good life with love ❤️ you can love both dads and mom imagine how much more harder your life would have been without your stepdad

  • @tyshaso9277
    @tyshaso9277 3 года назад +8

    I love Iyanla Vanzant!!!!.. smh she is the real deal!!! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @marthaguardado5688
    @marthaguardado5688 Год назад +4

    Baby boy is sooo. Cute.

  • @Applauseify
    @Applauseify 2 года назад +4

    Oprah and Iyanla and other powerful women are examples how to accept your trauma with kindness and turn it into your strength. Best is how to use your life experiences for making others lives way more richer

  • @tyshellwashington-ratcliff4466
    @tyshellwashington-ratcliff4466 Год назад +2

    Why tf did I think this was one of the Jonas Brothers 😂😂😂

  • @vickiechellou9260
    @vickiechellou9260 3 года назад +3

    The smile at her sons face at the end was everything

  • @CashThat4U
    @CashThat4U 4 месяца назад +1

    Son, your entire life is not over yet! Your entire life, you will know later and you cannot carry all that anger. She was a scared 17 year old , and the adults kept yawl apart! There will never be a "right time" to say anything to anyone!

  • @nicoler3219
    @nicoler3219 3 года назад +5

    my heart goes out to the mother and son , be strong ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @tamaragore437
    @tamaragore437 3 месяца назад

    Look at how the baby went to Iyanla! He smiled and was so comfy in her arms. He even knows his granny loves him, regardless of the situation. Alex is a good man.❤

  • @MsRoss-xv3nx
    @MsRoss-xv3nx 3 года назад +37

    So again, the biological dad gets off easy again.....
    While he had a good life with the stepdad?

    • @RealElongatedMuskrat
      @RealElongatedMuskrat 3 года назад +1

      @@ladennayoung2939 I fully agree. I grew up without my father for much of my childhood, but he was around enough at the start for me to know that I was better off without him. Not everyone gets that opportunity though, and I'm sure this young man's mind is full of "what if" scenarios. At least I have the luxury of knowing that I was safer and therefore happier with my mother raising me. There's also the simple fact that it is, at the end of the day, a huge detail to withhold from someone. This doesn't mean his mother would be dishonest with him in other ways, but he couldn't be blamed for thinking "well you let me grow up with the wrong information for over two decades, what else are you capable of keeping from me?". Its a difficult situation to navigate all around. I sincerely feel for his poor mother, but I also feel for him since he's acting off of incomplete information.

  • @winniewera2510
    @winniewera2510 3 года назад +2

    Its broke my heart to begin with when son and mom couldn’t acknowledge amd hug each other same with jose and his sister you could see the pain...

  • @blueeemom8338
    @blueeemom8338 3 месяца назад

    The wife was done with them passing her baby around she had to take so many sips of that water at the end 🤣🤣

  • @sytycdvigirl
    @sytycdvigirl 4 месяца назад +1

    How does Iyanla do this. I'm drained watching the emotional work it takes to get to the other side. Imagine being in the middle of it and actually facilitating it. It's a lot. We need more Iyanlas.

  • @moniquelacosta5170
    @moniquelacosta5170 2 года назад +5

    Alex should recieve a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the back with praise for raising a child that is not his own. Thank God for men like Alex. If I ever have a trauma in my life, I will find Iyania. She is a wonderful therapist and a great human being. This is one of the best shows that I have seen. TX Oprah.

  • @groovysituation6613
    @groovysituation6613 2 года назад +3

    Omg all her episodes make me cry. Absolutely love her

  • @hemashirin9382
    @hemashirin9382 3 года назад +3

    May God Bless you Ma'am, and give you good health. You are God sent Angel ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️