how to make jorts
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- Опубликовано: 26 апр 2019
- make your own jorts (jean shorts) in two easy steps!
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Хобби
he's constantly shifting between looking like a british chap from the 1940s and an american cult leader from the 70s
I mean this fandom is basically a cult
I think he’s a hybrid breed
We'll need your blood. It'll please the great Jort. Your sacrifice is appreciated!
Quote HA
@Thatguywiththestuffies RUclips page. feminine hips*
BDG walked out looking like a 70s cult leader and we all stepped up to follow him.
He is our god now
@@trueaidooo has he truely replaced sonic?
i’ve asked my friend before this comment if they want to start a cult of him
SnowFoxSpirit it really be like that sometimes
You mean Curtis from The Children Of The Mirror? Cause that's what this reminds me of
the smooth transition from "this is a joke" to "this is a horror video now" is my favorite thing and i can't find a word to describe it
Maybe… zjierb?
Unus Annus be like-
@@nicomoist5336 memento mori
There’s probably some convoluted German word for it
@@blue_leader_5756 I´d call it "urplötzliche Beklemmung"
"Step 1E: Fear- **sudden scene change** "
**shivers**
This video demonstrates how important video editing can be.
Yep. I love the transition there.
Yup
The Venn diagram of people who make their own jorts and people who have read lots of Shakespeare is a circle
lost things i was blown away by this until I remembered how gay Shakespeare and jorts are
I dont know man, i feel like the venn diagram of scene boys and people who have read shakespeare is two distinct circles.
Louis Thériault they’re two small circles in the big gay circle and there’s crossover because there’s so much cool stuff jammed into that gay circle
this is violence against me but ok
It only becomes a venn diagram when you add H.P lovecraft
Imagine how much scarier this would've been if it was made after all the sad clown paintings went up in the hallway.
I really wish I hadn't imagined that
oh ... you are the bastard man?
that is kevin punt
@@kassowary8673 He married and changed his last name. It all makes sense now!
Why is everyone so scared of clowns?
This feels like an indie horror short you'd find at a film festival.
It is
An indie horror... jort...
Now I want Brian and Karen to go all the way and make that short! (that's as long as a short film! in their style! it'd be GREAT!)
You mean like the Austin Film festival?
I think you mean an Inddie horror jort
3:38 “i can’t believe my eyes, I’ve got some jeans around my thighs”
The jeans are singing his song, they really did appreciate what Brian has done and are coming to give him a hug, nothing could possibly be wrong here
lit up the world as i fell asleep
@@theoldzoeyaccount ‘cuz they fill the open air
@@Dezignfuzion and leave teardrops everywhere
oh my god i went back and turned up the volume- the background music is a warped version of the jeans song and that makes it a thousand times more terrifying-
@@josieuwu9636 you’d think me rude but I would just stand and stare
"Step 1 e): fear" is going in my fav quotes list without any context
I read this just as he said it and I jumped.
He was so scared that his glasses teleported
Words cannot describe the visceral fear that shot up my spine when the jeans started running in the dark
Nothing prepares you for it regardless of how many times you see it
what about the painting that repeatedly shows up
@@knifesketball hold on WHAT
Greg, there is a painting of a blue chair with a green background that seems to move with Brian. I saw it on a couple different walls and a door.
@@politecat8802 I mean I noticed after going back to check, but I genuinely appreciate your help anyway.
I rewatched that "Be your own boss" video today and saw a comment comparing this to that video. I must have fucking repressed my memories of this video because before I rewatched it today I could have sworn this was just a normal, semi-joking DYI video. Nope. This is definitely a precursor to that video, and may well be the first cinematic installment in the BDGSHCU: Brian David Gilbert Surrealist Horror Cinematic Universe.
I can't properly express how funny it is that you repressed the horror aspect of this video
i thought this was just a joke diy vid too i literally didnt remember a bit of horror
@@Duckolium no way that makes three of us!
You forgot step 1.e.
Please proceed to step 1.f.
*Hide.*
In this video, Brian is looking for a job. Do with this information what you wish
"the words are quiet but the implications are loud" is my favorite line in the video and makes me shiver
Went from polygon twink to college prof that did LSD in the 80s
He was always that
the duality of man
he's both
im calling the police.
He's become Ned Flanders
Okay, but. Is no one going to talk about how perfect the transition to Step 1e: Fear was? He absolutely nailed the feeling of jerking awake after a nightmare with a gasp
Soomin Kong the horror sequence was great, too. BDG is getting better at film along with his always good edits, I’m very interested in what he will do if he moves on from polygon in the next couple of years
HONESTLY that bit had me legit on edge
literally it was so impressive i went back and watched it a couple of times
He probably just had someone there to turn off the lights (cut slightly) and then he got up lmao
Legasov his shirt was changed and his glasses were off. Two completely different takes.
Fun fact: The rythm of the song was Brian's heartbeat this whole time
omg ive never realised, it actually corresponds to the emotions and stress in the scene
So Brian straight up dies at the end?
End credit, no rhythm dance scene definitely suggests a post-death vision
I just noticed that he starts the first scene with long pants, but by 0:17 they have magically transformed into jorts
Woah
I’ve watched this video like 7 times and I somehow never noticed this fact
JORTS WIZARDRY
holy shit theres so many details i didnt notice
That’s just because he’s so good at jorting
he sacrificed his hair to the gods and in return got the mustache.
Why trade something so powerful for something so cursed??
His Jorts foretold that it was a trade that must be done
@@HelloBrothersGaming he was sorcerer and now he is a warlock
@@HelloBrothersGaming young gods wrath
god I'll miss that hair
I just noticed the distorted whispering during fear is the “I’ve got jeans around my thighs” song
Mars Bar the LEVELS it’s fucking shakespearian
Disjorted
God! That made listening to that section so much worse!
recycling
THIS COMMENT MADE ME GO BACK TO THE FEAR SECTION WITH MY VOLUME TURNED UP AND THE DOOR SLAM KILLED ME.
ALSO IT'S SO DISTORTED AND TERRIFYING AGHGHG
Thats a very healthy cat
Brian: "get along"
Cat: *thump*
Its really quite impressive that Brian managed to create more effective horror and tension in a 4 minute skit about fucking jorts than the majority of horror movies can in hours of runtime and with multi-million dollar budgets.
instructions unclear, got possessed by sentient denim
Shouldn't have bled on it :/
Then the instructions were perfectly clear
THIS IS WHY YOU CANT BLEED ON THE JEANS NOW THE GIRAFFES WILL STEAL YOUR TOES DANG IT
No you fool perfectly clear instructions you just were not skilled enough or prepared for the dire consequences of the jort creation process.
Sound like we need a scissor blade
The scariest part of this is that his moustache is actually real
Yes
NO THEY CANNOT BE
You spelled "best" wrong.
shut your mouth, its beautiful!
i dunno, man, the longer i watched the video, the more i was okay with bdg having a moustache now
The **thwack** of his cat hitting the ground is underrated
"Get along !"
**Nuclear explosion in the distance**
For real though. That loud ass **THUD** never fails to make me cackle. 😆
I've seen this at least ten times and I'm only now realizing the painting of the blue chair in nearly every indoor shot is a reference to the work of Alan Resnick.
I think the whole thing is really. Like the video itself is not only a "turtorial" that goes off the rails but theres tons of little creepy easter eggs and weirdly phrased dialouge that are also big aspects of Alan's videos. I dont think
Seeing as Alan is based out of Baltimore, and BDG is originally from Baltimore.... there may be a fond connection there, if not hometown inspiration.
Would you mind elaborating on this? I looked him up and even watched a few short clips but I can’t find anything that references this particular genius move
God it's true!
It does really have Live Forever As You Are Right Now vibes!
the moustache only increases his twinkness
also he looks like a 80s cult leader and im willing to follow
The moustache is a tragedy
I'm in
THE CULT OF JORTS
@@nerdygayboi it's no gesamtkunswerk
And just what are you going to do with all that power?
Step 3: Jort a boy
Sir how it feels like to be the funniest person on this planet
But what step is the Jort Boy Redux?
Freon Silas
Lonely
According to a multitude of replies to a comment I made, step 3 is bleed on the jorts.
Step 4: flex those jorts
“Do not bleed on the jeans”
Me, a girl: well damn.
Lmao
Well...
Cra- *gets violently murdered by jeans*
I am right now on my period
And I have not thought about this
Please make sure all blood is cleared and away from the jeans
Wait there’s a Jean emoji I am scared 👖
It's been a year since I first saw this video and the words "a jean jorted before its time" pops into my head more frequently than what could be reasonably expected of it.
Bdg: get along
Cat: *_wHUMP_*
I laughed the hardest at this part
Zuko is a barbarian
@@GEEthridge correction: *THE* Barbarian.
I just want to say this is the first Brian David Gilbert video my boyfriend ever made me watch and it took me another several months before I would let him show me another one.
have you watched the dances moving series
LMAO
My boyfriend tortures me with these
Have you accepted BDG into your life now?
@@sapphoanna of course. He comes to me at night and haunts my dreams. As he should.
Cecil Baldwin's voice: this ad was brought to you by Old Navy
HELL YEAH WTNV BABY
His videos are an incredible demonstration of how to use technology to inspire fear-the weird editing in this one, the data moshing in "be your own boss", the rewinding in the camcorder one. I'm taking notes
Ive found myself saying "step 1.e - fear" at random points
I am excited for this to become part of my vocabulary, in addition to "And you can too! Why don't you join me?"
Oh, same! It’s so strange
@@justarandomperson345 it's almost as if the jeans are taking over
everybody gangsta till the jeans start walkin
hyperactiv that’s when the screaming starts
*future jorts
Emma Keyes imagine reading this without context
cece dawkins see that makes it a solid 2% funnier
When he said “listen to the jeans” my alarm went off.
The jeans are listening
3:09 I'd like to acknowledge how wonderfully this was edited
I never thought I'd describe a pair of jeans as Lovecraftian but here we are.
Jovecraftian
@@Rachel-xf3op *Jortcraftian. Jovecraftian is obviously what sci-fi horror looked like before electricity was the norm.
don’t compare that man’s mere scribbling on pages to the forever eldritch horror of the jorts. he is but a human. to think that an author could ever be compared to the horrible, fearsome, pure jorts would be blasphemy of the highest degree. the man you know as lovecraft is but a pawn in the shadowy arms of the jorts. he is a link between words, where the all powerful jorts may warn us mere mortals to repent, or suffer.
Lol Jortcraftian makes so much sense cuz he's literally crafting them i-
Unfortunate that I can sit through one of today’s horror movies with only minor discomfort, but a video about making jorts on the internet managed to activate my fight or flight response. Hollywood should take notes
Yeah, this is one of the more terrifying things I’ve seen
Honestly though. I love horror movies and jumpscares never get me, but there was something about this video that just wigged me out
@@1018monty was it that almost every scene in his house has the same painting in the background, even though the camera moves, so it has to be on different walls?
@@sagecolvard9644 what the fuck
the best part is that the main character is a pair of jeans
Jort storm really put this on my recommendations
its some call of cthulu shit
of wait, it really was fortold in the song at jearth part
since listening to Jort Storm, I've fallen into this rabbit hole of jorts arts...
if this isnt nominated for best short film at the oscars next year, im gonna lose it
You mean the best...jort film...I'll go now.
@@adamgamsby4234 damn u took my comment....well played jort enthusiast
The Joscars?
Speedrun making jorts
i’ve made a mistake. i bled on the jorts. they’ve begun to scream with a ferocity that only be matched by mating koalas. my family is crying. my crops are failing. please brian, benevolent god of jorts, save me
Hannah Moore there is no escape. you are forever doomed. the jorts have spoken, and you have not heeded their words. now, now you must learn. jorts are one. jorts are all. jorts are everything.
This reads like a Welcome to Nightvale excerpt
Always remember Step 1e. For that is all you can do now young one. Never forget that step, never forget.
I am so sorry.
You have committed the cardinal sin and you shall suffer the consequences
you've made a mistake, but you can fix it today.
IF YOU JUST FOCUS ON THE NOTES THAT YOU DONT -- PLaAaaAY
I took me so many viewings to notice, but the sounds whispered through the apartment by the jeans in step 1E: Fear is the same song he serenaded the jeans with earlier.
The day is humid, a looming tension lingers, as I look upon the horizon, a storm is brewing. This storm, however, is unlike any other before. The end is nigh, my friends, for coming unto us is none other than
*the jort storm...*
a brief summary:
1. choose the jeans
1a. practice on the jeans
1b. reminisce with the jeans
1c. respect the jeans
1d. listen to the jeans
1e. fear the jeans
2. cut the jeans
Ah my daily routine
@@Otamatone69 Yup nothing like a good horror movie to start the day
@@theguythatdraws7392 That’s only when fear the jeans for any horror, other than that I respect and listen to the jeans
Also what do you mean “start” the day?
this is all of my day.
@@Otamatone69 wow bro thats deep
@@theguythatdraws7392 not really
I followed these steps exactly. I now have 5 corpses in my room and all i can hear are the voices, but damn, are these jorts comfy
That's how you know you did it right
only rewatching this did i realise that the jeans are already moving and shifting in the background of 1:19, right after the blood-spill
holy shit
That's the cat
i thought that was the cat but now i'm so horribly uncertain
This is the first step to the Jort Storm
“get along now” **drops cat heavily**
Or as I like to call it, the *THUNK*
Heavily? That’s just the sound a cat makes when it lands on the floor.
@@SjorsHoukes to be fair, Zuko is a chonky boy so he makes a louder thunk than most.
Yeah 75% of my cats love to be picked up but actually get mad when you just l o w e r Them to the ground, so we just drop them as gently as possible.
@@thoop6795how many cats do you have?
Imagine just being on the beach, trying to enjoy a nice day with your family, when this man frolicks by, affectionately holding a pair of jeans
The only response to this, of course, is to frolic along with him.
Honestly would probably be the least weird thing to happen on Coney Island Beach on any particular day 😅
Thank you charles slimecicle for bringing this video back into my attention
what a masterpiece, can't believe I've seen this because of jort storm
same 😭
either you serenade your jeans with it, or jortstorm (the character) is the product of too many bloodied jorts.
bdg is accepting his final form...80's jazzercise trainer
bold of you to assume this is even his final form
@@melonball9927 true, he is too powerful
i’m crafting and accidentally cut my hand and my first thought was “Do Not Bleed On The Jeans.”
did you bleed on the jeans. did yo u
you didn’t bleed on the jeans though? anything but the jeans. do not bleed on the jeans.
don’t cry
are you alive
@@naiknaik8812 I- I don't think they are
jort storm
If there is one thing i know about bdg, it's that somewhere on his hard drive there is a full 2 + minutes love song to his jeans.
Instructions not clear, I killed five men and the jeans are taking over.
Time for step 2
But you didn't get blood on them right? That would be most unfortunate.
@@ShuraEssays Indeed, one cannot stress that point enough. The consequences are dire.
The Jeans Do Not Forget.
I TOLD YOU, ANAKIN! THE JEANS ARE TAKING OVER!
Did he grow a moustache for the express purpose of making this video?
God I hope so
No but also yes.
clearly, yes
TheVacantProfessor I hope so. He looks like hipster Freddy Mercury.
If you keeps it I hope he styles it like Dorian from Dragon Age.
so this is where it began... the first jort testing facility... the jortex must have been created here
The Jory Storm before Jortstorm.
"Get along!" - he exclaims to this absolute unit of a cat before it brings down the force of God onto the floor below.
*thunk*
cat
The fact that this is listed under Howto & Style is just *chef's kiss*
I've watched this video probably 11 times, and this is the very first time I noticed the skull at 0:56
JORT STROM
THE JORT STORM’S COMING
JORTS!
JORT STORM ITS A CATTORGORY 5
i can't believe it took me this long to notice that the painting keeps moving
& it's a blue chair!!
I didn't notice until you pointed it out
Which painting?
@@bradenmeyer7465 The blue chair
@@bradenmeyer7465 the one with the blue chair that is in almost every shot
bdg grew his hair out just so he could cut it off and craft the trimmings into a bespoke moustache
_"~it's the warmer season so I can't wear jeans, I really like the denim, but not the length of the seam. My mom dresses cas-, but my dad likes Supreme I'm not like either of them I got the; _*_RECESSIVE JEAN!"_*
*JORT STOR-* *(gunshot)* "NO!"
it talks. it sings. *jeans are speaking, please listen LISTEN TO THE-* (gunshot)
I was listening to that part of the song as I read this, so perfect
This was the first ever video from mr briam that I ever watched. It led me down a wonderful rabbit hole and I must say that my life has significantly improved, not because of the jorts, but instead because of the jorts
i thought this channel was pretty much gone now that you are in polygon. I was in for a pleasant suprise
Ah, somewhere between 999th and about 1kth like, how satisfying.
But Polygon is pretty much gone now, so that creativity's gotta go somewhere.
@@orijimi what you mean
@@orijimi yeah what do you mean?
@@joshward7009 They barely manage a video a week.
instructions unclear; i made sheans
Instructions unclear, I Jeaned my sports
You must send them to Planet Shean. It is their home now.
Oh no I made short shorts
😂😂😂
Amateur mistake, sheans are clearly inferior way to jorts, as sheans are simply short jeans, while the superior jort are jean shorts
AHHHHHH- I just realized something while binge watching BDG videos. So, in the emails shown at the beginning, they appear to be written by his ex-wife, named Sandra. And in the Buy My Bed video, he shows you a birthmark that spells out Sandra. Maybe these two videos are connected somehow? Or it could be completely irrelevant, I’m just gonna go take a nap.
This is still my favorite psychological thriller ever made.
this was so scary. loved it. the part where he is fruitlessly scrubbing at the blood and there is just more and more appearing was definitely relatable tbh
I have several concerns.
Damned spot
@@leaillex What, will these hands ne'er be clean?
@@WMastersred hahaha.. let me clarify: periods
I scrolled past this comment then I had to scroll back up after my brain processed the words
ah yes this fits into my venn diagram of interests: clothing that is generally unacceptable and ritual blood sacrifice via denim
I have had many accidental stabbings of my hand while using a seam ripper on jeans...
His little dance at the end brings me so much joy
There is a Jort Storm brewing
bdg looks like if hot men were a real thing and not a lie made up by anime companies to sell more anime
That anime
Did you mean bdg is a JoJo's character
why did you make me read this . . we are stragers to eachother i could never have wronged you in such a way to provoke this ,, why......
This is the truest thing I have ever read.
bl ue JortJort's Bizarre Adventure
Why isn’t anyone talking about how the painting of the blue chair keeps showing up in frame and is definitely a nod to Alan Resnick’s horror short films?
That's assuming this isn't a horror short film
@J B Alan tutorial anyone?
@@a_d7366 i was just thinking this
That's what I was thinking!! I didn't assume it was a reference though bc im not sure how well known alantutorials is
I was getting some major Alan Resnick vibes from this, yet I completely missed the Blue Chair. I’m ashamed.
this video is a real JORT STORM
This was the first Jort Storm
I wasn’t sure if Brian was serious about the mustache but he sure was
He sure was, my dude, and it clouldnt be more glorious
thanks brian for re-instilling in me the sheer terror of dr seuss's "pants with nobody in them" book, a good twenty years after reading that book scarred my fragile child's mind
cj THANK GOD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THAT I FEARED THAT I HAD LOST MY SANITY LIKE THAT POOR BEAR CREATURE
i had reoccurring nightmares bc of that shit!!
I WAS TERRIFIED OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS FOR A GOOD 7 YEARS AND I HAD A HARD TIME ENJOYING ANY SEUSSERY FOR A WHILE I’M SO GLAD IM NOT ALONEE
THANK YOU THAT STORY WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING
I WAS THINKING OF THAT STORY THE WHOLE TIME TOO!!
Also why are we all shouting?
Someone needs to send this to charlie ASAP
I find it funny that the emails at the beginning were from Sandra, a name that he made a joke about having as a birthmark in the video "buy my bed"
As a poor person, the scariest thing is that he considers a one-year pair of jeans "well lived"
I'm not even poor but I'll wear the same jeans for 5 years.
@@sleepingdragons57 try since 9th grade (I'm now 27).
@@Nikapocalypse I'm only 4 years behind that. As long as the knee holes aren't obnoxious, I keep wearing them
@@vimtheprotogen2855 why are you hearing your jeans? DID YOU GET BLOOD ON THEM?!
Yup buy jeans wear through cold season. Jort when it gets too hot. Repeat next year
Hey Brian, not to be dramatic, but this is actually a cinematic masterpiece. I’ve watched this at least 5 times. I’ve shown it to my family twice. I notice something new every time I see it. Absolutely fantastic you funky goblin man.
Jayden Apollo that last bit caught me off guard
I know what you mean, this is like the 5th time I watched this and I only now noticed that there is the same painting in every scene where he is in his house.
@@sumote1947 oh my god
and the skull at 0:56 is unexplainably terrifying
Mystaee oh hec it is
i cant imagine how confused people were to see him traveling with a pair of jeans
Is no one going to mention that when he lifts up the jeans at 0:55 there's a skull underneath them?
Omg I never noticed that. Amazing
I've watched this video like 10 times and have never noticed that omg
Congratulations on going right into the sweet spot of the venn diagram of Lovecraftian Horror Narrator and Addams Family Friend. Wonderfully horrifying, horrifyingly wonderful. This has converted me into a jorts-liker
*jort-ist
@@ewwpoorpeople5684 Absolutely Genius, someone give this person a raise
Well put
There are no jorts-likers. Only jorts-lovers
I was honestly scared during the 1.E fear segment. That is of course until the jeans started walking. I was delighted by that wonderful moment.
Everybody gangster till the jeans start walkin
Yeah I cracked up at seeing the jeans running out like that lol
After rewatching this many times, I've only just now noticed the moving jeans in that background at 1:20
Jeff Gentile just his cat i’m pretty sure
I only found out about BDG because I looked up a video on how to make a pair of jean shorts and clicked on this for a serious answer. As I kept watching it became very clear that this was satire
And then I followed the directions.
And my God, how beautiful my jorts turned out to be. Glorious in their denim fabric, made for the finest of monarchs and royals. I did it.
I made Jorts™
This man made me gay, and I wish I was kidding. I was a straight man before I started watching Brian. He helped me realize I was a gay man.
Thank you, Brian.
i did not expect to see such a wholesome comment on such a cursed video, but i'm happy for you and very proud of you for your journey of self discovery
He made me realize I was bi, I totally just thought I was a lesbian, but then I fell in love with this immortal goblin monster that we call brian
James Charles: “Is it possible to learn this power?”
I really want to know if this is real or I’m just really stupid and can’t tell sarcasm
@@motherlyduck152 it's real
Hey uh i dont understand why he emphasized the "no bleeding" rule so much, but while making a knitted sweater i accidentally stabbed my finger, but the jeans happened to be nearby an
@Hal Moore f
f
F
f
F
The elders foretold
OF A FASHION SO BOLD
bdg’s first video helping us lean into the vibe of his future existential cosmic horror projects
i got some demon jorts on, on a demon jorts night, i got my demon day jorts on and im feeling [REDACTED]
Step 1.e) Fear
What scp is jorts?
I wanna make a Brian’s Jorts SCP now
i tried to sing this but its a really tough tounge twister
brian: uploads
me: *sounds of delight and joy*
me, but after i saw him n a mustache: *sounds of fright and scare*
“I’m not your friend and you have no control over what I do with my body”
-BDG
Brian David Gilbert is my favourite surrealist comedy-horror filmmaker.
this will surely help with the jort storm coming up