I haven't intentionally been doing no contact this time, its just sort of happening because I'm not sure what else to do. He has been riding the dragon since November and at times seems to be at the crisis point, but then goes for weeks at a time totally ignoring me. Its beyond me feeling like I shouldn't initiate as a woman at this point, because I've initiated a ton. It's more that it feels very one sided, and I keep thinking, if this was any other relationship, say a platonic one, it would be exhausting to know that the other party just really doesn't care enough to reach out. At least that is how it seems. He is so hot and cold. I miss him and our relationship, but its so much more then just having a relationship at this point. He is my favorite person and the only one I want in my life, and I will do anything to fight for that, no matter how much opposition I get from family and friends. He wished me a happy birthday last week, which was surprising; I cried my eyes out. Since he has posted things on social media that are so obviously pointed towards me its almost funny, but now he's back to not posting anything and isolating himself. It sounds crazy, but I really think he's reaching the crisis point, like he's truly battling with himself and wants to come back but is still holding out for some reason. A month ago he told me we could possibly date again, but I should date other guys. Now he posted something VERY specific to me and our relationship. I'm kind of sitting here waiting to see what he does. I'm honestly just afraid of pushing too hard when he's obviously thinking and in a delicate emotional state. I don't think I'm in damage control mode any more, but dang it's hard to be patient! I'm ready to just get past all the walking on eggshells and get my best friend and lover back! Also, thanks Clay for being different then the other coaches out there, and actually giving practical, logical advice.
My ex has stayed in touch for 3 months following the break up. I feel like going no contact is now my only choice as i am no further forward than when we broke up, i feel as though it's taking it's toll on me
No contact.. No contact.. No contact.. So much time no contact, save your dignity and let it go for good, only they will realize your value when they meet the next guy, by then it’s too late. Usually A lot of NC because your ex have BPD+Narcissism. When you have the chance Run 🏃.
I kept doing exactly that - going NC whenever things didn't go my way and even made it back to being something like best friends (even with benefits on one occasion). Things got emotional, I went NC - again - and she called it quits for good because she didn't want to "deal with my silent treatment anymore" whenever things became challenging and to leave her alone. I told her I'll leave her alone because she asked for it and not because I want to give her the silent treatment again - and basically went back into NC where I feel really stuck this time around and sensing I'm doing more damage than good right now with remaining in NC. Any sdvice to turn things around again? Jfyi I always used to be the one to reach out after NC and things were going good again shortly after, so I don't really expect her to reach out this time either...
Both of you are going through the same cycle most probably you are doing Passive No Contact. It is best to apply Active No Contact like what we teach inside our Ex Solution Program course. Honing the Advanced Relational Skills while doing ANC will be helpful for you when you decided to re-establish contact with her. All the best.
Idk why I’m watching these videos, there is no chance of getting my ex back, I don’t wanna lie to myself anymore. He’s dating this girl for more than a year now. He doesn’t care, he never will. I gotta move on, I just can’t.
@Jasmin, there is nothing wrong watching videos like this. That's totally fine if you decided to move on. And it is okay to learn so you would know how to handle future relationships in a better way. Sending love and light.
Clay Andrews it’s not my choice to move on, it’s just that I have to. Plus, I gotta be honest, watching these videos or reading these books, makes me too emotional, even after a year, so I decide not to.
@jasmin krob I’m in a similar situation. It’s been 6 months, I’m still in love with my ex, but he’s with someone else and I’m “just friends” with him. I’m trying to move on, but it hurts like crazy.
Hey clay. Thanks for your content I believe it is pretty helpful! In this specific case, you say that going into NC at some point is not good. But what if the other partner replied twice and then just disappeared? Interactions, for both those times, were good and super positive and neutral what could that mean? I’m stuck now on understanding what the next step could be to better interactions and get closer. Thanks
Hi Jeremy, that is what we call positive pull back. Allow your ex to process what they feel on those interactions. You can check about the positive pullback over here >>> www.lovetalkfm.com/lt030-why-your-ex-pulls-back-after-positive-interactions/
We had 1 month of no contact whit my ex. After that, we had 1-month of contact via chat, but she asked for a new no-contact period. She told me, she are not ready to contact me and she needs more time.
@akosfellner5061 , it's totally fine to extend that No contact period. You can always use these time and space between the two of you in a more productive way by applying the Active No Contact approach that we talk about inside the Ex Solution Program course. :-)
We kept communication open after her ending it, up until my visit. She said something in the heat of the moment in which after probably calming down she knew she hurt me. She kept away for 5 days until I msgd have a good day. Spoke for here and there for few days, she responded to a Pinterest thing and I didn't continue the chat today will be 5 days again. I had relationship anxiety and was needy etc, so no blowing up her phone now and forcing a reply everytime atm would harm deeper. As she won't fully admit I was the blame for most of why we are in this position and why I'm getting guidance from RUclips. She does have alot of personal pressure with family than just the relationship. Any suggestions?!
Hi Cindy, it is best to apply Active No Contact immediately and focus on working with the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach. That will be your most basic tool in the process. This time apart between the two of you will likewise allow you to evaluate the quality of your relationship. All the best.
@@ClayAndrews thanks so much for replying to my comment hey.. I know you would be so busy, but sincerely thank you. It's been 2 months off alot of ups and downs, and I'm a complete mess with it all. My mind is going 100 miles an hour with thoughts and questions reading what coaches say with topic I read. The no contact is certainly one of those things! I would do a one on one about it. But I'll have to admit it's expensive and would be more in Australian dollars. So I have a link page to go through a site here called beyondblue that deal with mental health etc. I know I need sort my mind before considering reconcile with the ex. I'm really struggling and it's was never always her just everything around me.
We talk daily. Our conversations go from deep to just everyday stuff. But, since she is with the person she left for for 3 months do far, we have yet to connect in person. She says she wants to, but never takes up my offers. Would this be a situation to use NC?
Id like to know as well, its kinda confusing cause hes gving me signs he could be still liking me but he all of a sudden got someone knew and claims we're just friends
Me and my ex was together for one and half year and yes no contact does work and I had to get out from the relationship bec he was so obses and controlled about me but now we are good mates but he still wants be back but as am adult we just talk some time but am getting over him now so his suffering more tnen me now
What if I failed at being there emotionally I’m a few situations when she tried to open up. After recognizing this I communicated I realize and recognize my fault in this. But it was after we broke up. I expressed to her that I want to rebuild our emotional connection again since she has said she still loves and cares for me. She is just afraid. Should I do no contact now?
Hi Clay, what if i did mistake and ask her to get back togther after no contact and she refused after she got some days to think. she still init contact , what you think i should do now ?
Hi clay, we broke up last year then, after 2months of nc, i contact him and we start talking and dating again, then this jan 16 he says "lets end this" coz of my needy attitude then i reply to him ok, then this feb 13 i we chat just a small talk,then feb 14 i greet him happy valentines, the he greet me too, then end of convo.it seems one chat one reply, then im focusing on myself now, should i do the no contact again and let him initiate and do the first move? Please help.thanks Sending love to all of you guys!fighting!
Hi clay. My name is Daniel from Israel. I have been watching all your videos For three months now. Because my girlfriend broke up with me. We are still talking about so many things. she told me there is no a chance to get back together
No chance to get back together means "right now" - don't worry, cobtinue having positive (and even sexual if appropiate) interactions with her and don't bring up the relationship topic anymore. Continue working on yourself and show her you're willing to change what lead to the breakup in the first place. Just don't talk about it or point it out. If you're doing a good job, she'll notice regardless! You're a great and caring guy, what reason would she have for not getting back together with you in the future?
hey @FOREVER YOUNG , I'm sorry to hear that you are faced with such concern. I hope you are holding on well. Were there any reasons that will make your ex to have that definite decision not to get back together? All the best.
What does it mean if your ex-girlfriend is back after 3 years no contact? NOW Very sexual Lots of Phone sex hasn't met up over a year , but is still engaged? To the rebound Guy!! Of 3 Year's?? How to make her leave?? I've been doing no contact for 2 months. Currently! I want her bad 😒
Try to separate sexual needs from building positive connections. What if you remove all the phone sex, will you both be able to a healthy conversation?
Clay Andrews what do u mean by licensed professional .. not understand.. that phone no. 4 destroyed .. specially am not with her in same country .. so that is only way to contact.. also shes always appearing that shes cant live without phone even shes know i will cant contact her Contrary to what it looked like when the connection between us broke down for some reason and she was crying hard😒
@@mahmoudamen5297 It sounds like she is lying and avoiding you. Maybe take sometime to forget about her and give her some time to miss you. If she doesn't miss you maybe bug out of that relationship and find a person that cares- give her two week and then be like - "hey, I gave you time to cool off - I can see you are losing touch with me... Maybe you don't care so much about the two of us and maybe it would be better if I just worked on myself. I love you but I need someone that cares about me. If you need someone that doesn't make excuses than... well you need someone that doesn't make excuses. I have had a lot of people after me at one time and it sounds like an excuse I would give a stalker/obsessed lover. If it were me I would say she doesn't give a shit - she needs a friend more than a lover. If you can't handle being a friend than move the fuck on for a while.
Here Now Here Now her personalty is so complicated.. if i do like that shes cant wait and msg me with fight that i ignore her.. last time shes. Destroyed her phone. Coz shes used to call her cam before shes sleep and whin shes says i will sleep now i said good night and love u .. then shes got fire so fast coz i did not call her a cam even i try to make jock with her shes still moving on to fight .. shes were in rebound Relationship and i worked so hard to let her back and i watch all vedios like mr Clay
Thanks for watching. You should also check out this comprehensive guide to No Contact here: ruclips.net/video/TqYLyfAUdMo/видео.html
I haven't intentionally been doing no contact this time, its just sort of happening because I'm not sure what else to do. He has been riding the dragon since November and at times seems to be at the crisis point, but then goes for weeks at a time totally ignoring me. Its beyond me feeling like I shouldn't initiate as a woman at this point, because I've initiated a ton. It's more that it feels very one sided, and I keep thinking, if this was any other relationship, say a platonic one, it would be exhausting to know that the other party just really doesn't care enough to reach out. At least that is how it seems. He is so hot and cold. I miss him and our relationship, but its so much more then just having a relationship at this point. He is my favorite person and the only one I want in my life, and I will do anything to fight for that, no matter how much opposition I get from family and friends. He wished me a happy birthday last week, which was surprising; I cried my eyes out. Since he has posted things on social media that are so obviously pointed towards me its almost funny, but now he's back to not posting anything and isolating himself. It sounds crazy, but I really think he's reaching the crisis point, like he's truly battling with himself and wants to come back but is still holding out for some reason. A month ago he told me we could possibly date again, but I should date other guys. Now he posted something VERY specific to me and our relationship. I'm kind of sitting here waiting to see what he does. I'm honestly just afraid of pushing too hard when he's obviously thinking and in a delicate emotional state. I don't think I'm in damage control mode any more, but dang it's hard to be patient! I'm ready to just get past all the walking on eggshells and get my best friend and lover back! Also, thanks Clay for being different then the other coaches out there, and actually giving practical, logical advice.
My ex has stayed in touch for 3 months following the break up. I feel like going no contact is now my only choice as i am no further forward than when we broke up, i feel as though it's taking it's toll on me
There's nothing wrong with no contact , just make sure it's active no contact and not passive .
@@andrewcruz7595 I'm not to sure what the difference is so will have to look into that, but i am trying to work on myself if that is part of ANC
This is helpful.
No contact..
No contact..
No contact..
So much time no contact, save your dignity and let it go for good, only they will realize your value when they meet the next guy, by then it’s too late. Usually A lot of NC because your ex have BPD+Narcissism. When you have the chance Run 🏃.
I kept doing exactly that - going NC whenever things didn't go my way and even made it back to being something like best friends (even with benefits on one occasion). Things got emotional, I went NC - again - and she called it quits for good because she didn't want to "deal with my silent treatment anymore" whenever things became challenging and to leave her alone. I told her I'll leave her alone because she asked for it and not because I want to give her the silent treatment again - and basically went back into NC where I feel really stuck this time around and sensing I'm doing more damage than good right now with remaining in NC.
Any sdvice to turn things around again? Jfyi I always used to be the one to reach out after NC and things were going good again shortly after, so I don't really expect her to reach out this time either...
Both of you are going through the same cycle most probably you are doing Passive No Contact. It is best to apply Active No Contact like what we teach inside our Ex Solution Program course. Honing the Advanced Relational Skills while doing ANC will be helpful for you when you decided to re-establish contact with her. All the best.
Idk why I’m watching these videos, there is no chance of getting my ex back, I don’t wanna lie to myself anymore. He’s dating this girl for more than a year now. He doesn’t care, he never will. I gotta move on, I just can’t.
@Jasmin, there is nothing wrong watching videos like this. That's totally fine if you decided to move on. And it is okay to learn so you would know how to handle future relationships in a better way. Sending love and light.
Clay Andrews it’s not my choice to move on, it’s just that I have to. Plus, I gotta be honest, watching these videos or reading these books, makes me too emotional, even after a year, so I decide not to.
@jasmin krob I’m in a similar situation. It’s been 6 months, I’m still in love with my ex, but he’s with someone else and I’m “just friends” with him. I’m trying to move on, but it hurts like crazy.
Current Pulse don’t be friends
You can. Do your personal growth & get. better. Remember not one of his previous relationships succeeded.
Hey clay.
Thanks for your content I believe it is pretty helpful!
In this specific case, you say that going into NC at some point is not good. But what if the other partner replied twice and then just disappeared? Interactions, for both those times, were good and super positive and neutral what could that mean? I’m stuck now on understanding what the next step could be to better interactions and get closer.
Thanks
Hi Jeremy, that is what we call positive pull back. Allow your ex to process what they feel on those interactions. You can check about the positive pullback over here >>> www.lovetalkfm.com/lt030-why-your-ex-pulls-back-after-positive-interactions/
I did it twice
and so far its not working
We had 1 month of no contact whit my ex. After that, we had 1-month of contact via chat, but she asked for a new no-contact period. She told me, she are not ready to contact me and she needs more time.
@akosfellner5061 , it's totally fine to extend that No contact period. You can always use these time and space between the two of you in a more productive way by applying the Active No Contact approach that we talk about inside the Ex Solution Program course. :-)
@ClayAndrews Thanks but unfortunately that's too expensive for me. (Ph.D. student whit low scholarship. 😅) I follow your public videos.
We kept communication open after her ending it, up until my visit. She said something in the heat of the moment in which after probably calming down she knew she hurt me. She kept away for 5 days until I msgd have a good day. Spoke for here and there for few days, she responded to a Pinterest thing and I didn't continue the chat today will be 5 days again. I had relationship anxiety and was needy etc, so no blowing up her phone now and forcing a reply everytime atm would harm deeper. As she won't fully admit I was the blame for most of why we are in this position and why I'm getting guidance from RUclips. She does have alot of personal pressure with family than just the relationship. Any suggestions?!
Hi Cindy, it is best to apply Active No Contact immediately and focus on working with the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach. That will be your most basic tool in the process. This time apart between the two of you will likewise allow you to evaluate the quality of your relationship. All the best.
@@ClayAndrews thanks so much for replying to my comment hey.. I know you would be so busy, but sincerely thank you. It's been 2 months off alot of ups and downs, and I'm a complete mess with it all. My mind is going 100 miles an hour with thoughts and questions reading what coaches say with topic I read. The no contact is certainly one of those things! I would do a one on one about it. But I'll have to admit it's expensive and would be more in Australian dollars. So I have a link page to go through a site here called beyondblue that deal with mental health etc. I know I need sort my mind before considering reconcile with the ex. I'm really struggling and it's was never always her just everything around me.
We talk daily. Our conversations go from deep to just everyday stuff. But, since she is with the person she left for for 3 months do far, we have yet to connect in person. She says she wants to, but never takes up my offers. Would this be a situation to use NC?
Is it still a rebound if my ex is dating some one after 4 months of break up?We were together for 7 years
Id like to know as well, its kinda confusing cause hes gving me signs he could be still liking me but he all of a sudden got someone knew and claims we're just friends
Me and my ex was together for one and half year and yes no contact does work and I had to get out from the relationship bec he was so obses and controlled about me but now we are good mates but he still wants be back but as am adult we just talk some time but am getting over him now so his suffering more tnen me now
What if I failed at being there emotionally I’m a few situations when she tried to open up. After recognizing this I communicated I realize and recognize my fault in this. But it was after we broke up. I expressed to her that I want to rebuild our emotional connection again since she has said she still loves and cares for me. She is just afraid. Should I do no contact now?
That's totally fine if you would do Active No Contact. What is important is that you likewise identified your goals as to why we are doing ANC.
Hi Clay,
what if i did mistake and ask her to get back togther after no contact and she refused after she got some days to think.
she still init contact , what you think i should do now ?
Did she say no after saying "I'll think about it?"
Because if thats the case you need to go no contact again .
@@andrewcruz7595 yes she said no we can't
Hi clay, we broke up last year then, after 2months of nc, i contact him and we start talking and dating again, then this jan 16 he says "lets end this" coz of my needy attitude then i reply to him ok, then this feb 13 i we chat just a small talk,then feb 14 i greet him happy valentines, the he greet me too, then end of convo.it seems one chat one reply, then im focusing on myself now, should i do the no contact again and let him initiate and do the first move? Please help.thanks
Sending love to all of you guys!fighting!
Hi clay. My name is Daniel from Israel. I have been watching all your videos For three months now. Because my girlfriend broke up with me. We are still talking about so many things. she told me there is no a chance to get back together
No chance to get back together means "right now" - don't worry, cobtinue having positive (and even sexual if appropiate) interactions with her and don't bring up the relationship topic anymore. Continue working on yourself and show her you're willing to change what lead to the breakup in the first place. Just don't talk about it or point it out. If you're doing a good job, she'll notice regardless!
You're a great and caring guy, what reason would she have for not getting back together with you in the future?
hey @FOREVER YOUNG , I'm sorry to hear that you are faced with such concern. I hope you are holding on well. Were there any reasons that will make your ex to have that definite decision not to get back together? All the best.
What does it mean if your ex-girlfriend is back after 3 years no contact? NOW Very sexual Lots of Phone sex hasn't met up over a year , but is still engaged? To the rebound Guy!! Of 3 Year's?? How to make her leave??
I've been doing no contact for 2 months. Currently! I want her bad 😒
Try to separate sexual needs from building positive connections. What if you remove all the phone sex, will you both be able to a healthy conversation?
I want some Solutions of my gf shes always destroy her phone if shes got angry how can i stop that 😩 i got her back after break up
It seems like your gf projects her anger to her phone. Have you sought the help of a licensed professional?
Clay Andrews what do u mean by licensed professional .. not understand.. that phone no. 4 destroyed .. specially am not with her in same country .. so that is only way to contact.. also shes always appearing that shes cant live without phone even shes know i will cant contact her Contrary to what it looked like when the connection between us broke down for some reason and she was crying hard😒
@@mahmoudamen5297 It sounds like she is lying and avoiding you. Maybe take sometime to forget about her and give her some time to miss you. If she doesn't miss you maybe bug out of that relationship and find a person that cares- give her two week and then be like - "hey, I gave you time to cool off - I can see you are losing touch with me... Maybe you don't care so much about the two of us and maybe it would be better if I just worked on myself. I love you but I need someone that cares about me.
If you need someone that doesn't make excuses than... well you need someone that doesn't make excuses.
I have had a lot of people after me at one time and it sounds like an excuse I would give a stalker/obsessed lover. If it were me I would say she doesn't give a shit - she needs a friend more than a lover. If you can't handle being a friend than move the fuck on for a while.
Here Now Here Now her personalty is so complicated.. if i do like that shes cant wait and msg me with fight that i ignore her.. last time shes. Destroyed her phone. Coz shes used to call her cam before shes sleep and whin shes says i will sleep now i said good night and love u .. then shes got fire so fast coz i did not call her a cam even i try to make jock with her shes still moving on to fight .. shes were in rebound Relationship and i worked so hard to let her back and i watch all vedios like mr Clay
Licensed professional means a licensed therapist/counselor or psychologist to evaluate where her anger is coming from.