The downsides of being 'too attractive' - BBC REEL
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- Опубликовано: 13 янв 2022
- In this episode, Griesham Taan analyses the social and modern reasons behind why attraction and beautification remain important today and explores the role gender plays.
Video by Griesham Taan
Animator: Jessica Thomas
#bbcreel #bbc #bbcnews
Ahh.. finally some content i can relate to.
Uhh me too... Yeah...
LMFAO!!!
Well done john!
lol must be nice
Exact same thing I thought I’d comment when I saw this video.
its furstating to say the most people hating on you for no reasons and imagine having anxiety on top of that.
That's probably why you have it. I have lupus, which is heavily affected by stress. What a pretty privilege! Lmfao
I would much rather be a six. It's the ideal number in this society.
FRL
Don't be ashamed of your beauty, you've been given a gift, embrace it. If some idiot on social media has a problem with you being hot and attractive, that's called jealousy. Their problem not yours.
In my experience, being attractive isn't always a positive. I have never been extremely attractive, but I was perhaps more attractive than average. I got sexually harassed often and sexually assaulted too. On the street, in the pub, at work by colleagues, and, once I became a secondary school teacher, even by pupils. I put on a few stone and suddenly the harassment and assaults stopped. Not completely. But now it's more like once a year rather than once a week.
Thank you.
@@KEB19877 see? that's the thing. someone extremely attractive will intimidate people into submission and evoke admiration alongwith lust, hatred and jealous but bullies will find them to be out of their league whereas the ones who are just pretty or more attractive than the average ones are an easier target.
thank you 😢
It's more than just idiots on social media. It's everyone. In the real world. They harass beautiful women (and men) all day and all night long.
The hatred towards me started in junior high school, and escalated in high school to the point where I started ditching school. If the boys/ men give you constant attention the females will resent you and that includes your so-called friends. I couldn't even talk to a boy without somebody accusing me of trying to steal somebody's boyfriend. A group of girls showed up at my house to beat me up over a boy I had absolutely no interest in,but those girls were willing to harm me physically because of a lie.My so-called friends would plan outings and exclude me,and I found out that one of them was responsible for the lie that almost got me beat up.After I got into the workforce I found out that the women weren't much different than the teens,so I became a loner.I got married at age 23,and I gave up on female friendships,I'm too afraid! 😨
Same it’s been rough but I prefer my solitude and peace
@@Pizzashakes are you okay?
@@Pizzashakes You obviously don't have good sense! When has bullying ever been something to feel good about???? Does the reason really matter????
@@Pizzashakes For the same reason you can't make yourself appear to be nice! You are what you are,mean spirited!
@@Pizzashakes Only people who've been bullied can relate to what I went through! How would you like to have a whole group of people hate your guts,and you never did anything to them? And they hate you enough to want to physically harm you,so not only are your feelings hurt,you're scared!
I'm a physically attractive woman. I tend to draw attention to myself through my looks (I get compliment from strangers and unwanted male attention) but I'm an introverted person (proud to be, most of the time😂) and already in my early 20s, and I fail to see what the pros of this are. Yeah, I have confidence in my looks most of the time but I have poor social skills because I expect people to initiate conversations with me (which happens most times and for them to focus on my looks, not my personality). Apart from the unwanted attention from men, I don't have any female friends. I have had very bad experiences in friendship with women who weren't attractive, many wanted to destroy me, live through me or loved me and I didn't feel the same way.
Honestly, it's a very lonely life and not many get it. Most people are very cold and barely empathize when you no longer have trust in anyone and/or are very reserved. I have been called everything from cold to snobbish.
I have had the same experience and recently discovered I may be autistic so my level of confusion in social experiences is a constant. I’m always showing up as my authentic self, never any ulterior motives, always genuinely interested in getting to know people but i discover in most instances that is not the case for the other person, guy or girl.
Do you think people only talk to you because your pretty?
Maybe you are cold and snobbish, and you'll need to change that. Unwanted attention? Get over it, men want to be with you, and you should accept it.
@@user-ci7xz5vt1dthis is dumb lol you don’t need to accept that men want to be with you in fact you have permission to deal with them using force if they don’t understand. And it’s also untrue that she’s cold and snobbish. People think they’re entitled to other peoples rike and energy and seem to think a person who is good looking but happens to be introverted or asocial is cold or thinks that they’re better than others. My older sister got this a lot because she actually thinks she’s better than others (she is) and is a very blunt and direct person and doesn’t like to be too social.
If that is you in the pic you are very beautiful
Sometimes I hate being the most attractive person in the room...so l return to the room where everyone else is.
bro 😂
Maybe a better title is: “Do Ugly People live in a different world than Beautiful People” because that’s an actual interesting topic to explore. Not the “omg you’re too pretty to get to the top (which probably 5% of everyone goes through vs. something that probably 50% of us feel)
No, they live in the same world as beautiful people - they're just uglier in it.
you clearly didn't watch the actual video, though.
50% of people aren’t ugly. Most people that call themselves ugly are actually completely average looking.
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
@@cisium1184 I bet the people who liked your disgusting ass comment are the same ones fake whining about their struggle as a pretty person. Disgusting people
Sometimes same gender siblings resent you too,same gender friends were horrible to me
😢 I know that feeling
@@jignavadher1586 me too
I have read a study a long time ago that talked about the issues of feelings of isolation and depression amongst those with higher levels of attractiveness within a culture. The study talked about how highly attractive people will have a lot of shallow emotional connections "fairweather friends" but few moderate emotional connections "friends" and even lower levels of deep emotional connection "ride or die". Part of this is due to the fact that their attractiveness is a boon for others to be associated with, but it is also armor against people making deeper connections because others assume that the "attractive" person will not accept or be snobbish against a deeper connection from a "lesser" attractive person.
Note: yes some "highly" attractive people are snobbish but their actions tend to cause groupthink amongst those that do not see themselves as equally attractive to believe that all "H.A." people will act the same way. I have known plenty of people that married well "outside of their league" because they asked and took the time to get to know the H.A. person for more than just their skin-deep qualities. Any quality (wealth, intelligence, attraction, etc) in too high an abundance can run the line of becoming the "Touch of Midas".
Also a factor that perception is reality. The idea of ‘attractive’ is subjective and changes by generation, culture and through history.
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
I think it might be connected with fact that attractivness is largely connected with social status and influence. So people want to be around attractive people for the influence they have (probably even unconciously), but that takes away this feeling of connection. Maybe they start to treat those attractive ones more as an object, which can give you status or power over the others, take you higher in the social ladder, but not as a real person with all feelings and other stuff. That's just my hypothesis, I'm not telling that I'm 100% right here.
You are right about it attracting shallow people. I think something that doesn't get talked about enough that attractive people have to deal with is OTHER people's insecurities. It doesn't just bring in people who only care about your body. There are lot of people who feel very insecure about their own looks, and will use that insecurity as the basis to attack others who are or at the very least they believe to be more attractive than they are. There are people out there who are very petty and vindictive towards you simply because you have those looks.
Any study that says attractive people have a difficult life in any way is bullsh*t. Their lives are jokes, everything is handed to them.
I had a very beautiful friend. Her life wasn’t easy. You always wonder… do they love me for my beauty or for who I am?
Even though beauty comes with a lot of perks, it doesnt seem to provide happiness and life fulfillment. I dated someone who was conventionally attractive and he was one of the most insecure ppl Ive ever met. Always staring in the mirror, adjusting his hair, worried about aging, etc. He was a good hearted person but worried so much about not being attractive enough. I hope he’s found some peace now that he’s older.
If it's girl friends then they like her personality but most guys aren't picky about that at all compared to physical appearance. You just need to be smart to find out for sure.
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
I doubt that there are 1000 benefits to being good looking.
At least your getting loved. even if it’s fake. I’d rather have fake love than no love
i think being “attractive” is good, it has a lot of upsides, but also a lot of downsides..
being unable to form genuine friendships with people without them having a different agenda(such as wanting to becoming something ‘more’) even tho all i want is a friendship.
being objectified, being gazed at by creepy people, even my own teacher (smh)
which caused me to stop attending school.
having to be extra careful around others because you’re afraid to accidentally lead them on, being harassed by strangers, people wanting noots, women glare and stare at you, dads with their kids and wives stare at you, even though all you want to do is exist.
to be yourself, to just live in the moment..
idk maybe i’m just complaining..
i don’t want to sound ungrateful, because i am..
but sometimes i just want to live, but fearful of what the world will do to me.
has it ever occured to u that may be u just look strange? knock it off Tiff.
@@ziwer1 could be, but i embrace looking “strange”, lol but that doesn’t excuse how creepy people can be.
it’s the reason why i never leave my house.
@@ziwer1 and you don’t know what i look like as a whole, so idk why you’re judging lmfao, chill bro
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
I agree with you
I am considered beautiful by people too. A lot of my friends compliment me about my blue /green eyes, my height, my golden brown hair, my fair skin. But some of them don't want you to get the spotlight. This happens with one of my friends, she has a lot of insecurities of her acne, black hair (she tells me so) and sometimes gets jealous of me, teases me in a sarcastic way, gets jealous about my good grades, even though she has good grades herself. I don't get it why people look only physical attractiveness. People think that we should be happy that we are attractive. Being attractive is not everything, we have feelings too, we experience anxiety too, have a lot of problems so don't judge a book by it's cover.
Black hair is beautiful so I'm not sure how this makes your friend less attractive than you? Also acne is treatable and can also be covered with makeup. I'm sure your friend is an attractive girl so please stop criticizing her looks!
@@sarahloughlin3724 I don't criticize her. I was describing what she says about herself.
It sounds like maybe your friend wants some of the spotlight too. It might be helpful to compliment her on appearance. @@princessfmuchlove1931
@@princessfmuchlove1931 How is fair skin an attractive trait ?
@@user-qs1el8gp5o I’m not saying that to praise myself! People compliment me about my skin. For me any skin colour is beautiful!
I am considered as pretty attractive. I don’t wanna brag or so. I always thought if I become fully perfect I will be the happiest person. Well…no. Here I am with my dream skin and body, all the clothes I wanted and getting compliments every day by complete strangers. But I feel so damn lonely. I only have one best friend and she has many other friends so she can’t be always with me. I feel like people r only interested in me because of the way I look and as soon as I start talking about my actual self they lose interest cuz they just want a pretty girl. I love talking to older people because I feel like they actually care about who I am. I am scared that one day if I don’t look that great people will not like me anymore. Let me tell you, it gets really really lonely sometimes
Maybe you should forget about your looks and focus on your personality. People are attracted to personality in the long term, looks in the short term. Personality is the thing that keeps people around for the long time.
Ways to improve your personality:
- learn new topics;
-Go to community events and practice socialising with strangers;
- stay positive by looking after your emotional wellbeing, people like positive people.
- learn to take interest in other people, comment other people;
-learn to take a joke and laugh at your self
Well, you get my point.
You are completely right. And people need to shut up that the problem is you 😅 no it's not it's other people who never want to get the know the real you
.. she just said that people just want the package. People just don't notice it.. or are to scared to admit that they are the problem and they don't care for who you are on the inside it's really sad.. i barley have any friends either anytime i get to know another women she talks in such a competitive way even when I tell her something about my life that is hurting me. My psygolist gave me the best advice one time. Let people come to you don't take the first step anymore
@@drrd4127 people don't forget about her looks learn how to read.
If you become less attractive at some point, wouldn’t that make your current problem less as well?
@@drrd4127 It's just a list of more stuff she should be doing. It's just more pressure, man.
Being attractive only sucks when other insecure women try and make your life harder just because they are jealous of you.That’s why I stay away from females if I can help it.If you know you are beautiful ,embrace it.Don’t let a jealous snake make you feel bad about yourself❤️❤
The problem is females become too toxic to deal with and men don’t want to be freind zoned because they find you attractive.
Like you wouldn’t be jealous if you weren’t pretty like you are now. Oh or are you immune to the human Emotion jealousy?
You couldn't be more right about this 🌷
Guys.. no. 1. If you're going to be here don't call women females. Incels call us that enough of the time. 2. Absolutely no competition with or avoidance of the other girlies. What good are we if we exclude ourselves from people? Normalizing us being around them is rehabilitation which is a good thing and how we can stop being mistreated in gen. Okays?
Yes. We are attracted to beauty and looks. But we need variety, not the same thing all the time. Beautiful but diverse at the same time.
Hence the term beauty is in the eye of the beholder
That means top most beautiful from every race and colour.. Maybe body type as well.. Some like thic, petite, skinny, athletic, natural etc.. But I don't think it include obese.. Because that is either genetic disorder or else bad lifestyle..
.
Also it does not include everyone else besides these tops ones.. So yes 90% or more would fall in the fallen category..
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
I had experience many jealousy from people just because of my physical features. The truth is you should embrace and maximize yourself and make space for better people better things in life.
Everyone judges a book by its cover. And its so painfully obvious that everyone dislikes not being good looking and thinks its some sort of way that magically makes your life better. Let's not forget being targeted, sexually exploited, treated like an object, nobody wanting to know what's inside your head. You may as well be a shell or a doll. THAT'S what it's like to be too attractive or too commercial/money making project e.g. Britney Spears. Nobody has any intelligence in this comment section, that shows. If you have no empathy don't watch the video.
Well put. So many comments dismissing the idea that it's a problem, apparently, people think they're experts on the subject after three seconds of thought.
Thank you for saying this. I’ve experienced discrimination and sexual harassment all my life because I am a pretty, petit female. Both in casual and professional settings. This is a topic I’m so glad is being talked about now.
Cry me a river. That's like complaining you have too much money and don't know what to do with it so it gives you anxiety.
@@christiansoto9755 I envy your tiny little mind. It must feel safe and comfortable in there.
@@christiansoto9755 if you really think that being beautiful would be the best thing ever, I hope you get what you want. I will stop being envious of you then. I would not want that.
Don't know if this video touches on it, but when you're attractive you get treated really good by members of your gender. It's like there's some sort of platonic draw that makes them want to befriend you
I don't think it always work in school.
In my experience it is quite the opposite among females, especially during teenage years. Can 't comment on male behaviour though🙈
Not in my experience. Women are catty af towards beautiful women!
I believe there was a study about a decade ago conducted by Dr. Heinz Doofenschmertz of the Tri-State Area. His revolutionary "De-Handsome-Inator" virtually proved, beyond reasonable doubt, that people treat you better when you're attractive -- though with unintended consequences.
@@aydagunes9130 same goes for males too.
I can't really grade myself on the beauty scale, but based on complements from people I'm probably fairly presentable, however, I have experienced what felt a lot like jealousy hate and animosity from my older female Boss, and the animosity was based on and targeted towards my looks, she behaved as though we were in some kind of competition and she was always looking for ways to put her self on a pedestal, even though no one really cared about those shallow artificial things in the office and all we wanted was to get our work done and go home, but she insisted on throwing jabs at my looks and would accuse me of deliberately makin customers want to be attended to by me, not because of my good customers service skills but by what she termed as , my miss pretty antiques. I never quite understood what she meant but it definitely felt like a low-key insult. To have my work ethic and effort overlooked and turned into a Diss, really did hurt. And then the weird part was she would copy every hair style Id do , my friend is then one got to notice this and told me to pay more attention. And yeah, whenever I'd change my hair, within the same week she would change hers to that same style Or something extremely similar and it wasn't just hair but clothes and shoes too. When I'd be walking around in the office I could feel her eyes scanning me from head to toe like a razor beam and sometimes I just wanted to uurrrrggghhhhh!!!!! It out because It was sickening. A very sickening experience, I thankfully got to leave that toxic environment but it still beats me what all that was about and I sometimes feel tempted to ask if my looks had anything to do with it.
Because I've experienced similar behavioural patterns from my peers in different set ups and id like to know how I can prevent this from re occurring because its so uncomfortable and abit unfair too.
The animosity, the subtle low key insults, and and the mimicking...same thing happening in a different settings. I totally agree. I just someone said when you are attractive you are holding gold everywhere you go and people can see that. I am trying to find a way to live my life fully as well despite all those unwanted setbacks and hold backs and still figuring out.
Of course it has something to do with your looks. She was clearly envious, that's why she copied you. You can prevent it by being more modest in you appearance in the workplace. Something most don't want to hear but I've been thru & still am going thru the same.
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. can relate.
@@GodWorse thank you so much. ❤
I've done so much work on myself since then and ive made it my goal to never do that to anyone or make them feel that way regardless of how they look and who they are.
I find that when you’re “very attractive” people tend to think you have other motives, or that you think you’re better than them… which makes it hard at times… but it also has perks of some people being nicer to you.
Some people will be sexually attracted to you but if they see you as out of their league they can be hostile to you because of the sour grapes effect.
For all of its downsides, being beautiful is far less of a curse than being ugly.
Being beautiful is like being wealthy. It’s nice but the downside is how do you know if people like you for being you? And my follow up question is would you rather be really pretty growing up and slowly lose it? Or be closer to plain and just in general enjoy what life throws your way?
Being wealthy and attractive is better because you will be experiencing the world on higher level. However, it does also come with negatives but it’s overall better once you learn how to control the negatives and build boundaries.
Attractiveness is an important asset, everyone will try to take it away from you so you have to have boundaries.
I’m gonna tell you the down side of being too atractive. It’s hard to find roomates, because girls will always assume that because i’m pretty i must be difficult too.
Ikr! They always assume that I’m mean and uninterested when I didn’t even open my mouth yet 🙌🏻🤣
You girls are reading my diary or something lmao
I don’t think it because you’re pretty, it because you have an intimidating face like Zendaya. Not all beautiful people have a intimidating face but it could also be because your well dressed.
Compassion is what we need to value more.
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
Why do you think so?
@@ethiopiazoldyk4667That's a weird question to ask. lol
@@Jantonov1 no it's not
The problem is not that we value beauty, the problem people get jealous because they want the beauty for themselves instead of just appreciating someone who has beauty.
We appreciate a beautiful art, horse, a landscape, a lake, a gemstone, a flower, etc. Beautiful people should also be valued instead of envied.
As a now older person, I now definitely don’t look like I used to. And I’m ok with that, because I also can’t see as well now either! 😄
I certainly wouldn't say I'm too attractive but I have found I'm not taking seriously in regards to my mental health, depression and anxiety. Your looked like what do you have to worried about. It has been a thing till I finally found doctors that took me seriously. The other thing how I wanted to present myself during a period in my life. To present myself in a more masculine way, which has made a positive impact on my life.
I must be difficult I hope your fine now blessings from stranger
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
I think many would agree that the advantages of having good looks e.g. feel good about yourself, self esteem, opportunities in certain sectors etc are higher than the downsides of it
Not always self esteem cause people get bullied because of that and feel low about themselves
Absolutely
@@theuglybeing4673 well that’s less of the time and you would more likely get bullied for being ugly
Other people seeing you as attractive doesn't mean you automatically see yourself as attractive. It's no guarantee of self-esteem because self-esteem is based on more than your appearance and is formed early in your life by your care givers and how they treat you. Being attractive can actually create anxiety about your appearance because you are so frequently judged for your appearance. Not to mention all the sleaze you have to endure because you're instantly sexualised which makes people think they have a right to your body and your attention. Also, not everyone is open to attractive people because many people are insecure themselves so they immediately resent an attractive person and try to complicate things for them and impede their progress because of this assumption that their life is so easy. So no, the ocassional free coffee or door held open does not compensate for that.
Self-esteem and good looks are not necessarily synonymous (many beautiful people I've known had terrible self-esteem).
I began watching a video about attractiveness, I ended up watching a video about gender roles and male privilege... What?.
It's the bbc, did you really expect anything else?
BBC is just activist feminists these days...a bit detached from the real world
As someone who is borderline ugly and tip toes around average I am always drawn towards beautiful looking people whether male or female not necessarily in a sexual way but they hold a certain power. Kinda the halo effect even their mistakes seems easily forgivable. In fact I am also highly afraid of a beautiful woman talking to me. Certainly there will be some downsides but they still get a better deal compared to ugly or average people.
i told my best friend this happened to her (attracting people like you) and she denied it, but so many people are confirming it’s true. people were nice to her because she was pretty, her mistakes were "silly forgivable things" because she was pretty, everyone wanted to befriend her because she was pretty.
This is a huge problem, which I've struggled with all my life. Nature can be really cruel sometimes.
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
I'm not sure how we got to gender fluidity by the end of the video. Seems like a very clumsy leap of logic, as even gender fluid people feel pressure to conform to some type of beauty standard. If you are a human on this planet, and not a total hermit, you are feeling some amount of pressure to present yourself to a society in a certain way. You are conscious that you will be judged if you don't do this. These rules and expectations permeate social interaction on all levels, and between everyone. This will never stop, as we are a highly social species and enjoy categorization and social structures and hierarchies. You can see an undeniable echo of this in other primates. It will never change.
So I asked a loaded question to a Twitch Streamer today (As "they" were talking about where "they" stand on gender issues) why don't we just REALLY level the playing field and get rid of any words or thoughts of male or female. And they said
"well no, because there are obvious differences. Males can bulk up much easier and females can get pregnant. But people should be respected and allowed to identify as whatever they feel. And society needs to support people's choices."
Which by the way this person is a female but they identify as a boi... with a i.... boi. Sighing.... the mental state of humanity is quickly deteriorating.
@@adventureinlife7700 boi? lmao. That's a new one. A lot of these types are just teenagers looking for attention. Most of them grow out of it. It's still insufferable to listen to their self-indulgent stupidity, though.
Yeah
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
Yeah that part was a bit too pushy
Did they seriously just use this video about wether or not attractiveness is bad (for any human being) as a commercial for gender fluidity ?
Felt the same when I reached the end of the video.
Being attractive is terrible especially growing up in a bad environment and a broken home growing up as a child I wasn't getting the love I wanted at home and grew up in a "hoodie" neighborhood my school was also hood influenced I would grow up in this neighborhood looking for the love I was never given and meet a "friend" that would take advantage of me but I loved him because he had the best personality and he was the "brother" I never had we saw eye to eye on everything but he also grew up in a broken home and had way more mental problems and his home was literally broken I loved this kid to death but as our friendship went on I would figure out he was toxic but I didn't understand what toxic was till one day he hit me in the face causing blood to gush out my nose I would still sleepover his house that night asking why he did what he did he apologized and I forgave him also growing up I noticed old electronics I had would be stolen by this kid I've gotten jumped for this kid too thinking he would stick up for me but the story's way to long cutting it short still to this day I can't seem to find an honest friend and I no longer have trust for people anymore I feel trapped with hate in this world and it sucks I never graduated also and I keep working these minimum wage jobs and get hated on at each one I work at and harassed everywhere I go I feel hated I don't even want to go outside because it seems the whole world is against me my last minimum wage job was good money and I would be harassed out of it because the whole work environment didn't like me and me knowing how people can be toxic I wouldn't talk to anyone when I got this job and I still get harassed....
I can resonate in allot of areas not with getting beat up but cause I had serious anger issues But I receive passive aggressiveness daily it totally it sucks but it's shows your great in your own area I can't even get a job due to these jelousy cocksuckers
@@NoBody-mt9ky best thing you can do is get a job where you work alone or build something for yourself I know it's hard it seems Iike the hate is everywhere and it feels almost impossible to be able to escape these environments I'm in the same predicament these stressful work environments will take a toll on you I've also had serious anger issues do to the build up of letting people manipulate and step over me.... also on the job part I feel you it takes me several months to get something and when I do the same bs..... but yea I hope you get control on that anger I use to have an explosive anger disorder and severed an artery that was a good wake up call hope your able to catch onto your anger because it's very dangerous the gym helps alot
@@Jynxxxxxxx yeah I feel like no one can relate to me but when I saw your comment I had to post back no hommo
@@Jynxxxxxxx I appreciate your advice and I hope your doing well too respect.
@@NoBody-mt9ky thank you
Being attractive does have a major downside.
I'm considered to be attractive by most people around me. I've got many guys attracted to me and many have flirted with me but attraction to beauty doesn't last long.
I want to be in a relationship too but most guys lost interest in me after a week or so because they don't find my personality compatible. In the beginning, all of them are hooked by my look but they eventually left after finding my personality not appealing. I'm a very awkward girl, don't know how to handle compliments and come across as very nerdy when I talk. That eventually turn them off. Now everytime a new guy comes I always think to myself "will the cycle repeat?"
I often feel jealous to see my less attractive friends, seems fun to live in peace and not have anyone crushing on you, as long as you have someone, one person that truly loves you. I don't have that. Most of my less attractive friends are either married already or they've found their SO and have been together for years while I'm still stuck on the cycle of being hit on then ghosted. It's draining my energy and I'm starting to lose hope if I could ever get to meet "the one". It's frustrating.
I'd rather be average looking but have one person that truly loves me rather than being very attractive but lonely.
Maybe the reason guys don't find you attractive after getting to know you a bit is because you have a bad personality?
Edit: after I posted the reply, I realized how negative it sounds 😅
What I am trying to say is, looks hook us guys in but it's personality that makes the relationship last.
Same
I was too shy like you before but as I meet men since they got attracted they started to pinpoint things about me and I work on it. You can listen to them and work on things to improve yourself and your communication but still maintains who you really are and what you want to be ☺️
It's pretty easy to make one's self look less attractive. Just wear less flattering clothes and no makeup...
It won't be long till you and the right person meet each other. He will find your awkwardness cute and your nerdiness attractive. You guys hold hands and walk through all the difficuties in life. Being with each other will be sooooo precious.
You mentioned 'most guys lost interest' but chill. You need only one and he is definitely not 'most guys'.
Your heart knows when you see him.
I met mine.
I always have said that being beautiful can be a curse and a blessing
This was really poorly made, horrible audio, impossible to understand with all that noise, etc. A video about beauty horribly made.
For one, I can tell you 98% of celebrities aren't so. They barely qualify as having above average looks, yet their looks are so coveted.
Really?
Like which celebrities exactly. Because most of them especially the women are seen as the standard of beauty. I'd say at least 65% are above average. That's why their looks are often marketed in movies and magazines. So which ones do you think are like really good looking. I just want to know your take on them😅
exactly
@ethiopiazoldyk4667 Basically everyone. There are a couple of exceptions: Frida Pinto, Blake Lively, and Jennifer Aniston.
Jennifer was the only one from that group who was one of the main people in the spotlight.
Preference vs Orientation: Can we control the nature of our Sexuality which would then be a Preference, or is our Sexuality more or less an ingrained trait which would then be an Orientation? The word Preference used here in this presentation is critical in how it affects our perception in a culture based context the nature of Sexuality itself.
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
No one has ever said beauty is costless
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
🤣🤣🤣 WRONG!
Did this video talk about the downsides at all? It seemed to be all about why society treats attractive people (esp. women) better than others. And sorry, but I think we all know this anyway.
Lol you didn’t listen.
So, tell us something we DON'T know.
Thank you for making this video. I’ve experienced discrimination and sexual harassment all my life because I’m a pretty petit female. I’ve been dismissed for my thoughts and work all my life as well. Things are not easier for us, being attractive comes with its own set of problems. People objectify you, meaning they don’t really care about your feelings or ideas, they just want to sleep with you. It’s psychologically damaging. This is a topic nobody wants to confront, it’s taboo, but now we are talking about it, I’m so glad. I have been bullied and shunned for no good reason at different times in my life, now I understand it’s that people are jealous, especially women. I do have female friends, only three, who aren’t related to me, and many male friends, because males tend to be kinder, they listen to me, and treat me as an equal. Go ahead and ask an attractive person about this topic and I guarantee you they’re going to tell you a similar.
Wow. That's so sad. I hear this from a lot of attractive people as well.
"Go ahead and ask an attractive person about this topic and I guarantee you they’re going to tell you a similar."
But they are repulsed by me cause I'm ugly so I can't get to the talking part in the first place lol
Any more ideas, chief?
@@metasequoia3097 it's over buddy
@@dannyarcher9002 can't be over if it never began 💀
You're spot on
Being healthy is beautiful...That's it
One part of the media says reduce beauty standards and the other part constantly tries to higher the beauty standards even higher....So much confusion.....
Attractiveness and Beauty matters. Whether you're Male or Female. However it is Very very subjective. What someone finds beautiful in New York can differ vastly in Seoul for example. BBC you can't trick me to only date someone's personality.
If it matters to you, it means you are literally uneducated. Please educate yourself properly.
DW? It’s BBC I thougt
@@yannick4252 Its same bias...
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
Beauty is vain favor is deceitful but a woman who fears the lord will be praised . 😊 .. love who you are ..the mirror doesn’t lie if your reflection is pretty your pretty no matter what anyone said, but your true beauty is how you treat other people with kindness.. pretty people male and female come a dime a dozen. Work on your insides first and you beauty will never go.
I'm hearing a lot of these commenters complaining about being too good looking? In my opinion it's your arrogant attitude of feeling superior to others in your looks that is the issue. What makes you feel that everyone else is so less attractive than yourself? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has differn't tastes in looks. So these complainers should stop looking down on other peoples looks and should instead try lifting others up by complimenting their good qualities. To all you 'too beautiful people out there" your superior vain attitude is the problem not other less attractive people you deem beneath you.
Oh another thing to mention to these " Too Attractive People" guess what? You are aging just like the rest of us "Normal Looking" folks. So you better start working on some other traits besides your beauty because time waits for no one. Youth is fleeting and beauty fades for everyone including You oh beautiful ones!
@@sarahloughlin3724 that could take 60 years before they lose there looks though by that time attractive people don't want be attractive anymore it does get boring always looking good especially when you're old in age looking good only world if You got youth but most attractive people don't lose there looks that fast not till 60s or late 60s so there not losing there looks anytime soon
I am too attractive and the problem people try to make problems with me because they are so jealous of me. Even to individuals do not know of around my apartment complex. The guys hate me for being too hot and the girls hate me because they know they can't have me. Then people try to make false allegations about me and stuff. You do not see me telling people some of my neighbors do meth and try to actively conspire against me. I swear people and their petty problems. So bewildering for them to be so stupid as to make problems when there is none.
This is for really attractive people. You’re above average but I wouldn’t say enough to be able to relate to some of the comments.
"It's worth reminding ourselves what it means to be male or female is not concrete" *Speak for yourself, BBC*
Lol
Beauty is no longer associated with reproduction in current pop culture. If it were, it wouldn't idolize extremely thin, flat chested, narrow hipped bodies as ideal. To trigger the "this woman can carry and raise a healthy baby" instinct, the body needs to have wide hips, big breasts and some surplus fat. Note that Marilyn Monroe, the love goddess ideal of the 1950s would be seen as fat in todays style.
Women of any body type can usually bear and raise children, of course.
The whole matter of body types going in and out of fashion every decade or two shows how culture-bound the concept of beauty is in western culture itself. The mask-like use of makeup and the facial expressions of models are quite grotesque when you back off a little and think: who is this person? Would I want to confide in her (or him)? Would I want to spend my life with them?
This matter of body types going in and out of fashion is demeaning, and confusing to young people, who are trying to understand their place in the world. It's the source of a lot of misery and destructive of self confidence.
Throughout human history and prehistory, just about everyone who wanted to find a mate has been able to do so. In most cultures it has been a necessity of survival. Most people don't get a beautiful partner. If they are lucky, they get one who is reasonably functional as a partner and is in reasonably good health.
Beauty is a commercial matter in our culture. Billions are spent on weight loss schemes alone. Fashionable clothing, with rapid obsolescence, is the reason for a tremendous amount of waste in the west and misery and exploitation in the third world. How much clothing ends up in the landfill in less than a year?
Women who want to succeed in any serious field generally forgo the fashionable. I wouldn't trust a doctor or lawyer or engineer who looked like a model, with revealing clothing and mask-like makeup. Would you?
Everything you just said is utter nonsense. You're allowed your own opinion, but trying to present your opinion as fact is asinine.
@@nathantelford8333 I'm glad to see that there are people like you in the world who are able instantly determine what is sense and nonsense in the most complicated matters of human culture.
Of course it's my opinion. Thank you for allowing me one. This is RUclips, not an anthropology journal. You can present your opinion too, but just dismissing someone else's as nonsense isn't very productive. Claiming that you're right and someone else is wrong without any explanation is umm... asinine.
B.A. Erlebacher For what its worth, I personally think you made some great points-people would be wise take an introspective look at current society.
@@b.a.erlebacher1139 What's so complicated? you seem to think that matters of biology are actually due to sexism and some imaginary evil patriarchy, I don't. where in the world did you get the idea that "extremely thin, flat chested, narrow hipped bodies" are the ideal?
"idolize extremely thin, flat chested, narrow hipped bodies as ideal."
Are we still in the 90s? The 00s? That has certainly not been the ideal for a long time.
Soon beauty will become an offence and people would rather be referred to as ugly. It's certain our orientation is shifting towards that.
They'll soon acquit murderers if the victim was too pretty. I already feel like people want to kill me. I'm so glad I found this comment section.
Would you rather be hot and lonely or ugly and bullied?
Discrimination against beautiful people still exists. #beautifullivesmatter
Idee-ot
Beautiful people are a minority in this country especially in the South 😂 and deserve legal protection 😂
its refreshing to consume media so relatable
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
Extremely relatable as i am so ugly i wear a mask everyday
You have a stunning mane! I'm sure the other cats on here are jealous and insecure about their size and ability to hunt large prey.
I've been blessed with good looks. It helps with dating for sure, but it's hard on friendships: half of them envy you, and the other half end up being gay.
You're a man. Take that into account
god i feel so lonely it hurts to breathe
ive faced this alot and and trust me its difficult
suffering from success
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful
I want to relat this but i can't 😅
This could only ever be made by a British media outlet
Not only women are in the marriage market. Men look for certain qualities (proxies) and women look for certain qualities. It’s just as hard for men but just different criteria. Women can be just as savage if not more. Why says it’s a bias…to discredit it. It is just what it is. I am short. I had to compensate. Fitter, smarter, more successful than the average to increase my attractiveness. We do the same at work to get hired and get promoted. Politicians do the same to get elected. Social scientists put too much normative value on everything. Why is beauty bad, maybe it has a sound biological function. Maybe it also performs a sound social function if we just looked for it.
I’d like them to do a video on males and success. How women have been attracted to the male who is more well off and how that has affected each culture historically.
Only fairly recently were women allowed to pursue their own careers instead of depending on their husbands. Not too long ago, women weren't even allowed to have bank accounts or own property, so it makes sense they would choose to marry a man with enough financial stability to cater to not only these women's needs but, eventually, their children too.
@@beasttitanofficial3768 Absolutely. But massive changes have created massive shifts. Women now make-up 60% of college students while 92% of all gender based scholarships are rewarded to women. Another recent study found that women now earn more money than men in US cities.
@@cbeary2000 true, but it's always hard for cultural phenomenons to change. Men also seem more attracted to young women with large breasts and wide hips. It's hard to re-wire humans after thousands of years of us evolving to be a certain way. We're animals in the end.
*modern feminism are more obsessed with beauty than ever whoring themselves on tinder.*
Pretty men are Chads, pretty women are societal punching bags.
The benefits of being physically attractive far outweigh any of the cons (which exist and I'm sure can be unpleasant to deal with) - particularly during the developmental stages of your life. The main downside is that one day you'll lose your looks and if you haven't invested anything in your life you'll have nothing going for you.
Another problem that has been left out is: How easy it becomes to influence people even so it isn't your intention at all and you just wanna vibe with them
It's not about patriarchy, but it could be that the more attractive a person is the more they are abstracted into the ideal, and the ideal has little participation in the game of life, they are given the role of the meta judge to intervene in the evaluation process only after the game is over. This people are not dispenced with and it is not just a female issue since this does tend to also happen to men that are endowed with infant like facial features
i cant understand what you are trying to say. what do you mean in your first sentence when you say “the ideal” or “the evaluation process” or your analogy using “the game of life”?
They like to make themselves the VICTIM its normal.
"The ideal has little participation in the game of life". Very interesting POV.
One thing you neglect is fuzzing the gender roles makes more money. No one should be prejudiced in anything. There's nothing wrong being a man or woman, too. People aren't getting that message. Focusing on fuzzing gender and not much else is selling something. You get that, right?
There is absolutely no downside of being too attractive, problem is trying to use it as an advantage and being over confident about it, at the same time losing focus on basics upon which others are focusing upon.
A lot of assumptions here. Case in point, assuming someone's over confidence stems from their beauty. It's prejudice all the same.
quark doctor There are downsides to it. Check out The School of Life's video on, obviously, the downsides to being too attractive.
@@alicerose5191 okay, I'll but how come beauty can be disadvantage!!??
Wild guess here, but I suspect you do not suffer the condition of great beauty. I know some absolute stunning beauties, and I have seen how their beauty creates a sort of prison that limits their social interactions. They can be really lonely and stressed out because of it. I don't think you have thought about or studied this problem deeply at all.
@@theobserver9131 like you i too didn't share any systematic scientific study here, it's all personal experience or view, by the way like beauty is relative, stunning beauty is too
Excellent 👌😊😊
what did i just watch?
Right !! 👍
Oh I relate too much😔
Being good looking is a curse. I know! 🤓
In the end when the narrator said, "maybe in the future, beauty practices will become less important as gender is redefined" I dont know, I think you can definitely rewire some people brain to deconstruct society beauty preferences. But this comes down to "biology vs society" right? Like biologically we look for younger fertile mates or ones with wide hips (sign of healthy child birth) and biologically females look at males for provision and security (due to being the smaller gender, in the past they needed protection from other animals that hunts humans) so this is a biological thing we human look for. While society is changing these preferences. So I'm curious to see in the future can we rewire biology with societal construct? or will humans revert back to being humans and look for what humans find sexually and physically attractive. we'll see
It’s not about patriarchy or anything like that. It’s because men are visual creatures. So for mating value, female beauty plays a bigger role than male beauty. Most women are not as visual creatures as men are. That’s why most of the paintings and portraits that are famous and considered “beautiful” or “pleasing to look at” are portraits of females or at least have a feminine form.
I rathrr be attractive and lonely than unattractive and lonely
note the under current of anti-science feminism throughout this cultural marxism video. Its as if they fail to recognise that men and women usually become one and have children and act in the interests of the family...which means the division of tasks as each loving family sees fit.
women think iam stuck up. they bsmile but never approach me. i guess its all in your head. And when i do hook up they say batupid things like i didnt beliveve u like girl like me😢😢
"When your currency is marriage"
Means 2 totally different things for males and females. Especially in the blue collar world, it's really easy for yuppies to talk about this......
Sad I can’t relate to this 😅😂
But I’m also glad I’m not attractive even tho men say I am and I know they only say that to make me feel good about myself
Dont hate me because im beautiful
A man can have the body of a roman statue(years of hard work plus good genetics), be a brilliant minded expert of some sort (years of hard work plus good genetics), display wealthy clothes/cars/homes (years of hard work, with exception made for heirs). Who is really held to a higher standard to be seen as attractive when Men typically have three options that require massive amounts of hard work?
I wnaked myself silly over Catherine Zeta Jones ever since The Darling Buds of May😂😂😂
she dont look or act attractive for a a 60 year -One can she her baggage - anyway her 1990s self
@@jari2018 are you trying to speak English....you need A LOT more lessons Jari my friend
@@martinmoore7920 as long as you understand
@@jari2018 what😂
I'm attractive, male and Autistic.
I wouldn't wish this triad on anyone.
The issue of being taken seriously is an interesting one and, as in most things, I don't believe 'women most affected'.
There are many groups which are not taken seriously but end up being right.
Epidemiologists for example...
I'll show myself out.
lol
Does that mean I am designed without a downside? Sweet!
I thought they would list downsides to being too beautiful.
Lol you didn’t listen
Episode 1??
Episode 1: ruclips.net/video/IfiZQoHnW-k/видео.html.
You’ll always be taken care of when you are considered beautiful. No matter how bad you have it people will keep giving second chances even when you’re wrong. The hate doesn’t over power the good. What makes it messed up is that women have a hard time maintaining jobs as they get older.
I want to be so attractive that I look like a model I would love to be physically beautiful
ikr omg like just imagine staring at the mirror and being admiring your beauty everyday. Its so not fair honestly coming from someone average
My life makes sense now
mine has always done -" Im not like you " white guy among whites -swedes are too ignorant and want nothing to disturb unless if you acted swedish and was black ( dont matter for most) and said the right things but anyone not born here will fall in a trap and be discharged as not them
How people define sexuality is not concrete. How our standard of beauty is fluid just like how our preferences are fluid.
I can't attract women . However being completely anonymous in public can be liberating. As an attractive women you are constantly noticed by men and women. Its impossible to remain anonymous. I guess there are pros and cons for all of us. Interesting video
This video is made to show how beautiful people face problems, once they see how ugly people have life they will know how bad it feels to be. It is beautiful people who have more subscribers and more hookups
There are more important things in this world than butts and boobs to be concerned about.
Too many words to convey a simple idea - we tend to protect what we like to feast our eyes on. On Any given day I know i will not fear to round my chest and protect a beautiful tree or a rose bush from a bulldozer, but no so much for a crooked bare tree or a boxwood bush with unlikable small flowers and berries. Beauty is a strategy of survival. Has always been. Since the beginning of time.
If you think the pressure to have rippling muscles and six pack abs isn't a thing for men you are out of your skull. That beauty standard is far more difficult to reach and maintain than most.
I can't understand that, because I go to the gym and make gains.
Their Accents makes this indecipherable
i remember i would get sexual notes on my locker from random guys it made me feel uncomftorble
Oh, we're feeling sorry for good-looking people now? Who next, billionaires? Those poor, wretched souls... My heart goes out to them 💩
You’ll be surprised how thick skinned you have to be as an attractive woman. I think there’s almost no downside for men though.
For women, they are constantly attacked by jealous women (including by family members)
Imagine being hated by half of the population. And the men don’t want to be friend zoned by a beautiful woman either so it’s not like she can just hang out with a bunch of guys.
I know I have the same problem
sorry I don't agree with that sociologist. beauty rules weren't invented by men do you really think women like Cleopatra were getting pretty to impress someone like that woman knew her worth and didn't have the need to impress anyone. same today do you think Kylie Jenner is following beauty rules? like dude she is setting up beauty standards
„Women are expected to do a variety of beauty practices“ - and who is imposing this on them? Mostly, it‘s themselves!
I can see you've given the subject vast amounts of thought and research. L O L. Ignorance.