The Price of Pretty Privilege | Analyzing Malena ft. Angelina & Marilyn
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- Опубликовано: 16 май 2024
- My voice sounds very baby in this because my mom was sleeping while I did the voice-over lol!
00:00 - 00:19 Introduction
00:20 - 06:40 Part 1: Melana
06:41 - 07:59 Part 2: Angelina
08:00- 08:59 Part 3: Cheslie
09:00 - 10:08 Part 4: Marilyn
10:09 - 11:57 Analysis and Conclusion
Malena is a tragic film. it is a story about a beautiful woman who experiences the pain of beauty told through the voyeuristic eyes of a teenage boy, Renato.
My analysis looks at the dark side of beauty, the price that women who are gifted with pretty privilege must pay. The story of Malena parallels the lives of Angelina Jolie, generally agreed to be one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, the infamous Marilyn Monroe and Cheslie Kryst -- a literal beauty queen.
Edit: Cheslie Kryst won Miss USA In 2019 not Miss Universe
♥️ Hala
Reading the influx comments has been really touching -- to see all your stories and compliments. I've noticed all of you new subs in the last couple of days, welcome soul family! Happy you're here with me. I'm releasing a new analysis, v soon, on the film "Girl, Interrupted" in a new way you've NEVER heard before and you can use the information to your benefit. Stay tuned ♥
this video alongside with your channel has popped up in my recommendation so randomly and that was the best thing the algorithm has ever did to me.
Can't wait!
Wow. WOW this was a tearjerker ❣️ new sub
Love that book and film! ❤
Or men who say they love you without thinking
The worst part of being beautiful is the jealousy of other women and the anger of men who can’t ever have a chance…
Period!
Can't blame them though it's not that those ppl aren't deserving enough but looks play a deciding factor I have sworn to never focus on a person's looks too much
I'm sure certain self obsessed ppl would enjoy possessing what others dont and even shame them for it that's where insecurity comes from
@@halanuman I feel u should not agree with such comments that shame ppl for not being beautiful or not having a chance and being upset for it ur only making it worse
We need to change the mentality that a bad looking man doesn't deserve a good looking woman and vice versa
@@hsd287 they shouldn't though. a pretty woman who puts effort into her appearance deserves a man who's also putting effort into his - not the Adam Sandler fantasy that ya'll want so much. do you think looking good is something you just wake up with? women need to groom themselves (hair removal for ex), and style their hair and clothes in a way that's flattering and be skilled in makeup - not to mention how much it all costs. the prettiest of women deserve to be physically attracted to their partners and be as easily excited - not having to force themselves through physical intimacy. it's no longer the 50's where women financially depended on men and why you saw Monroe with _older_ not so attractive men. so yes all is fair.
i can’t believe megan fox wasn’t a part of this video she’s such a perfect example of being demonized and limited because of her beauty
I considered adding her to this video and noticed there is one main difference between her and the counterparts discussed in my analysis: although Megan was victimized and taken advantage of by the industry weirdos, she made sure that she rose to the top once again. After almost a decade of being "shadow banned" by the industry and not getting any roles, she was able to withstand what they did and grow tremendously from it by continuing to garner media attention on her terms. Whereas Malena (a fictional character), Angelina, Cheslie and Marilyn ultimately either ended their lives or faded into obscurity.
@its really complicated being nice to straight men I'm glad someone mentioned Rita Hayworth finally. Like people focus on Marilyn while Rita has a much worse and tragic life.
@@halanuman wait Angeline faded into obscurity? 😭
and maddison beer
I don't think Megan is in that context, she's beautiful but her life isn't tragic like Angelina and Marilyn and she doesn't have all that mystery and her career doesn't have anything that will be marked 50 years from now. Malena's context is more than just beauty.
And imagine that such women have men friends who are only hoping and waiting for chance, but if you don't give them, you aren't important as a friend for them.
I finaly realized men are never your friends. They always expect something.
Yup I know that one 🥴
Men and women can't be friends.
No such thing as friends in the first place but a man will always want to have something more from you. It's in their biology. And it's ok. You only need God anyways.
@@Mirage238
Yes
That's happened to me one too many times then also another thing they become distant and weird when they get into a relationship and come back when they single again all nice and sweet again acting like they care about you yet they still thinking they have a chance to hit.
Pretty women are even faced with jealousy from insecure men which often isn’t talked about
THAT IS A FACT.
@@nopes993 period!
@@chas353
Has this happen to you ? And if yes do you have examples?
Me for example was followed by a weird man who took pictures and videos of me.
@@nopes993 basically I reconnected with a old childhood friend this year, and we hit it off at first. Going out, dating, having fun. At first he would always compliment me on my appearance and how pretty I am but he would then talk down on himself. Now my friends and my sister were like girl he’s ugly etc. but looks don’t matter to me, I love a persons vibe and personality. Make a long story short, he started to be more insecure around me. For example we went out to the movies this summer, and me personally I’m a total girly girl so I love dressing up (nothing too much, but i do wear a lot of pink) when we got in line he was like scoffing at my outfit and saying things like “well maybe next time I’ll wear a tuxedo” and rolled his eyes. And the whole date was a complete mess he didn’t want to stand too close to me, he was on his phone a lot etc. He gave me other back handed compliments like “not everyone has clear skin like you” in reference to me being well groomed and I’m really into my skincare. At first I was this pretty trophy for him to show off, but he didn’t like the fact that I looked “better” than him. I heard through the grapevine that he’s back with his ex, and not trying to toot my own horn, but you can tell she doesn’t really put herself together before walking out the door. He was also jealous that I was more smart, I speak proper, I’m friendly, I don’t smoke or do drugs etc. he literally went from Prince Charming to villain in a matter of weeks! He’s blocked and I don’t speak to him anymore, but it was disappointing because I really did like him (the nice version of him) I’m aware that I’m pretty attractive but I’m not arrogant. I’ve definitely faced a lot of jealousy from other women but never men until now. I think some men are intimidated by women who “shine” brighter than them, it like hurts their fragile masculinity. There’s actually a video on RUclips called “why boys are mean to the girl they like” it put some things into perspective for me. hope this helps !
@@chas353
I understand you totally.
I experienced the same thing. Ugly guys actually are the ones who have been the wo&rst kis$sers, the w&orst in attitude , always comparing themselves to me. First putting me on a pedestal and seconds later talking down to me.
Guys only want one thing from me and if I don't give it to them they disappear. And i also have men who completely ignore me.
Stay strong sister and stay with God if you believe in his existence.
I'm thankful of being good looking but I never know how people are going to react when they see me the first time.
It was really heartbreaking watching Malena being so mistreated by everyone in her town. The lack of humanity overcoming by jealousy, also by the standards of society at that time was really overwhelming for her.
Especially since women were always portrayed as muses for artists, their bodies objectives of desire inspired by Aphrodite. Instead of treating her like a human being they bullied her and the men assaulted her multiple times says a lot that society has not changed so much
It was so hard for me to edit this video because of that. I kept having to go through that scene and many others over and again. That’s why I felt that I had to put trigger warning before that scene of her being abused by the townswomen :(
@@halanuman like we say in Greece "χαρά στο κουράγιο σου" (Kudos to your patience), because the film really made me sad about Malena being oversexualised and mistreated, but it showed the dark side of beauty privilege, still affects many in the modern world as well
@its really complicated being nice to straight men many drag how golden the old Hollywood was, but they never mention how many of these actresses were mistreated, had to go into intense diet, plastic surgery, all while having zero support from the industry in terms of anxiety, pressure and mental health.
I doubt many things changed since then in the industry, but especially old Hollywood had so many scandals of corrupted men mistreating these women
Yup. When I watched this movie, I wished I could be her friend.
@@pebbles92able I’ve noticed that a lot of pretty women like being around other pretty women, while it’s usually women who aren’t as pretty who don’t like pretty women.
Former ugly duckling here; I can tell you that despite the dark side of being beautiful I would NEVER choose to go back to the harsh existence it was to be ugly. Society inherently assigns more HUMAN value to attractive people esp females. There is nothing more painful than feeling valueless or subpar value everywhere you go..this is why we relentlessly pursue beauty despite it’s futility
Men are treated much more harshly.
@@dud3man6969 the whole video and comment was talking about a WOMAN’s experience, it has nothing to do with men, the video and comments never invalidated the experiences men go through, they just simply never brought it up because a WOMAN’s experience has nothing to do with a MAN’s experience. This isn’t about you.
I just commented like the same thing. Yes beautiful people go through hardships because of their looks, but so do ugly people. Overall, ugly people are treated much worse. Almost subhuman sometimes and it’s some brutal pain
Edited for misspelling
Well all women and men get old. There’s a leveling even in this life before it all ends. Gotta make peace with that.But enjoy it while it lasts.
Me too, I'm not saying I've already glow up but I just became really confident and knew how to groom myself. If being pretty could be this bad or could cost this much then I still want it. I don't want be that ugly anymore and still be unwanted.
People don’t understand how SCARY a women’s jealousy can be. Wether you are pretty or not, insecure women will make your life a living hell, some even going as far as physically harming you or killing you…
EDIT: I’m so sorry for what all you guys went through, let’s all become women who support each other and are kind to one another 🫶🏼❤️
Indeed
Exactly.
Examples?
My first bully was my mother. She wanted a boy and she got me. Worse, I looked like my father. I was always getting beaten and told I was ugly and stupid. It set the bar re my choice of friends or the kind of women who were drawn to me. I've been threatened, stolen from, backstabbed, you name it.
I've never had a female friend that I could trust and I don't have model good looks. I'm average girl next door (until I smile).
@@nanazhezhe8271 Raudha Athif
The worst thing about being pretty is that men think it is for them. If you smile or just make eye contact it automatically counts as an invitation. The amount of times you get followed on the street, harassed, commented on, touched by strangers is so scary. Men jerk off on the street while looking at you. You get cornered in situations you can't really escape. Many of the worst experiences I had in life were because men felt entitled to my "beauty".
This video centred on attractive women but some of what she described and what you described can happen with attractive men too. I've been considered an attractive man and have been harassed by women several times. Lots of them feel entitled to have me. I've been grabbed by the crotch by two of them. I can rarely have a conversation without women staring into my face constantly and not listening to most of what I say. One time one shoved her tongue than my throat in the middle of a conversation and wrapped her legs around me hard.
@@joemusashi7774
What da?
And you didn't consent to the last part right?
What other things happened to you?
I'm interested to know.
And of course it isn't okay What they have done to you. Obviously
@@nopes993 I didn't. The last instance didn't bother me that much as she was good looking, but it still startled me for a bit. She was drunk so that partially explained it. I've had occasions where women would grab me by the shoulders at random. I worked in a bar for a while and it happened there quite a bit.
@Joe Musashi
Amazing.
Is it harder for you to find a woman that loves you for you?
When did you notice you were good-looking?
Do you have jealous people?
Are you dating somebody who is as good looking as you?
Girl I felt so alone but I'm glad this randomly popped up on my feed. This is so real it's such a burden.
I've never had pretty privilege up until about a couple years ago and quite frankly I'm inexperienced in both romance and sex (I'm asexual). Ive expirenced both the good and bad of pretty privilege but the worst for me has been the treatment done by some people, mostly men, who tried to make me feel heard and cared for but only wanted to sleep with me. I learned that when you're both pretty and virginal it tends to attract the most manipulative and sickening predators, i swear😑 and when you turn down their advances it leads to so much hostility and cruelty that it made me genuinely frightened for my safety. Important lesson, it's always a red flag when someone is attracted to how "pure" you are.
Edit: I should mention that i never told any of said men that i was a virgin right away, I only told them after i got to know and trust them after months/years of befriending them. As i said they made me feel heard and cared for and i felt (albeit naively) that i could trust them with this info.
“It’s always a read flag when someone is attracted to how pure you are”, this is 90% men nowadays seeing women as objects to be stripped of that said purity. It’s for them to do what they see fit to women, they’re so sick.
I feel you girl… :(
Hit the nail on the head with this one. I've had way too many guys comment on my seeming "innocence" without even knowing me
This entire paragraph has been my experience word for word. Its almost like we are the same person. I have to comment that watching a man that I thought cared for me, turn into a vicious monster after being turned down was really one of the many perspective changing experiences I've had. Everything down to fearing for my safety. Now I no longer expose the fact that I'm a virgin for fear that a man whom I turn down may seek revenge by taking it from me forcefully (r*pe)
This is so true!!
This also highlights the function of the Patriarchy. When Malena (or Angelina) are married w an appropriate partner - they are shielded from attacks. It’s when they are alone - that they are seen as a threat. People respect beautiful women when they are married - bc they respect the man that “owns” her.
Woah... I never looked at it that way before... Dang.
@@KelleyBroussardMackaig yup. Like just looking at how people are treating Brad vs Angelina post-divorce. It’s so blatant. 🥺
& if it's a good man, he will trust her & understand that others hovering or trying to be with her are not her fault, but just because of her beauty & help to shield her from those trying to sabotage their relationship. Because men can do the reputation dig just the same as women by being the guy that "tells" on the wife to the husband about how he saw her with some other guy. So that the relationship implodes & he also tries to be the super nice guy friend of the wife so he can swoop in. Toxic but it really happens.
I know it's just a movie but, I was so mad when her Dad abandoned her!!! 😡😭 Her Dad is also a misogynist because he's so ashamed his daughter is the town whore and that her worth and purity vanished.
Right !
My mom when young was a stunning looking woman. Men would often want to date her, women even her own sisters were jealous of her. Especially when she was chased after a millionaire man. My dad had to struggle and compete against other men in order to marry her lol
Even as a kid I would notice how alot of men would be enthralled by her. The interesting part was that as she began to age, the attention she received was still present. Older men and even a few younger ones still wanted to be part of her life. To this day I firmly believe it was her personality. She was a good listener, always willing to help anyone. She was deeply caring about others. The friend you'd seek in your darkest days. Her looks and character gave off an explosion of charisma.
Personally that's what I learned from her. Anyone can be handsome or beautiful but if you have only flesh and looks to provide, your value is not the highest. At the end of the day you in fact grow old.
exactly
Only insecure women and girls obsessed with “Pretty Privilege” don’t realize that. I’ve seen those same women refuse to age, clinging desperately to whatever will keep them young as they believe LOOKS is what gets them the most benefit (aka attention) that they seldom work on the core of what keeps someone attractive: A GREAT PERSONALITY!! They soon become one of those miserable old biddies who speak so terribly of young women out of sheer envy of the beauty they wield, and to mourn the loss of their own.
No idea if that's you on that profile picture but Lord have mercy this person is stunning
@@nopes993 IF THATS YOU THEN U ARE TOO
@@kellyhernandez8696
I appreciate it sis 😊.💜
Have you seen “The Most Beautiful Boy in the World”?
It’s a documentary of Bjorn Andresen. He has the looks and everything as a child actor but the people in the industry exploited his innocence and childhood. It’s really sad. Sometimes beauty is a curse because on how society treats it.
Beauty itself isn't
It's the people around
@@nopes993 like i just mentioned it’s because on how society treats it
Yup, he was sexualized at such a young age he suffered a lot .
I've seen that it's so disappointing 🥲
Something similar happened to Brooke Shields, very sad.
Beautiful or ugly women can't get peace.
And I hurt it very selfish of everyone trying to pull us down
beautiful AND ugly women can’t get peace. however u look like, there’s always someone tryna bring u down!!! all we can do is find our own circle, and thrive for ourselves.
I think a hole different problem is the fucking division in pretty and ugly . I am sorry but this is so dump . I don’t say there isn’t existing “pretty privilege” but it’s just the definition of beauty in our society. We are all beautiful and also can work on our beauty. Even when it sounds sucks it is that way and at least I am being honest. I mean u use make up right ? And I am truly aware THERE ARE THESE UNBELIEVABLE BEAUTY PEOPLE WHO HAVE PRETTY PRIVELEGE but THERE AREN’T UGLY PEOPLE . Maybe in ur eyes cause I mean everything is a judge but not in mine . I swear I have never seen an ugly person that others didn’t find beautiful.
This, sadly...
Yep
If you are considered ‘ugly’, people treat you like nothing, like you don’t deserve to walk the earth and think you’ll never find true love. But the moment that ‘ugly’ person is described and seen as beautiful, everyone acts different.
It's the same for beauty seen as objects
@@nisselelyag7997 also the fact that woman are always treated and seen as objects, its an on going thing for years and unfortunately for us were not treated as an actual human being
It really depends, @Mrsprada76 - let's say you are "ugly" or what the French call "ugly-pretty" but have loads of style or charisma or character, or humour. People definitely don't treat you like nothing. Speaking from my own experience as well as having such treasured souls in my life. Americans and Australians generally have a very narrow definition of what's beautiful vs other parts of the world, including Europe.
@@rebecca_stone But from my experience, I’ve been treated like nothing by people.
yeah i'd rather be disliked for having something others don't, than being disliked for not having anything at all. the latter feels like a lose lose.
The part when Malena was beaten filled me with anger, not only she was constantly being accused bc of her beauty by the women in the town but also the men preyed on her an treated her like garbage after that. It's a shame that we don't see to much of Malena's point of view, but I'm sure that her sadness is enormous.
Great analysis. My sister is a Malena and she used/uses self deprecation to make other women feel comfortable around her. It’s sad but that’s how she survives having women hate her because of how beautiful she is.
Thank you for the compliment. That’s really sad to hear. I wish your sister peace and friends who appreciate her for who she truly is.
Beautiful women get bullied all the time. I used to work at a place where the women there would purposely try exclude me out of everything- outings, jokes, conversations, etc. There was no lack of effort on my part trying to befriend these girls. I finally gave up and realized that I will not beg for anyone’s friendship. I have friends who love and accept me for who I am- they don’t judge me based on my looks which I don’t have a lot of control over anyway. Women are very insecure and they reaffirm that when they act like bullies to other women who they are threatened by. Also, just because a woman is attractive doesn’t mean she wants and steal your husband. The mistrust is ultimately of the husband or boyfriend not of the woman you fear he will lust for.
Oh yes they all are scar&ed that you steal their boyfriend or husband. Like woman I don't even care about your life 🤦🏿♀️
True.
It’s mostly the ugly ones who cheat - men and women. You ever noticed that men with beautiful women cheat on them with ugly women?
Don’t give a single F about those jealous people - be it females or males.
You’ve something, they’ll never have. Enjoy it, sis. Enjoy it ❤
@@nopes993 True like she doesn't even ask for attention.
Must have been a poor choice of beauty if thats you in the pic
@@laurac263 Wow. Nice. Was that really necessary? Did you not see what Autumn wrote? "Women are very insecure and they reaffirm that when they act like bullies to other women" Recognise yourself? Read again and comprehend. Reflect for a moment.
Being pretty really is a privilege and a curse. You don’t have a lot friends. I always wanted to have a group of girlfriends to hang out with but my experience with female drama is too much. Men’s true intentions are never clear. They only like the ideal of you. Not your personality. it’s really not what you expect. And I can’t talk about this in real life because you might come off as conceited it’s like a silent struggle. 😔
This is exactly what I'm experiencing now, sending hugs ♡
projecting of anima, men see the ideal women on a pedestal not the real woman before them
Fuck coming off as anything, if people don’t geniunely at least try to listen to you because of their own bs preconceived notions then they’re stupid and insecure and that’s their problem. But, I understand what you mean, idk you and im a stranger but know that at least I and like 123 other ppl take you seriously : )
Ikr!! I just stay to myself :/
not always like that; some of us just can’t seem to find girl friends if you’ve never experienced this then it’s easy to just brush that off
It hurts to be pretty as much as it hurts to be ugly! When pretty and ugly are just something the society creates, projects, objects and destroy!
“Something the society creates, projects, objects and destroys”. A word from you! Summed it up perfectly.
@@halanuman yes, i wrote it while listening to your beautiful video, good luck ❤️💕💖💋
@its really complicated being nice to straight men i feel it’s similar to female beauty objectification but perhaps taken somewhat less seriously because they’re men? (And i say somewhat bc it seems not many ppl take problems w being a pretty woman seriously already)
The pain of being ugly is worse.
@@joyandpeacefullaughter5307 true you can get turned down from jobs for being ugly.
Being beautiful is one thing. Being beautiful with sex appeal this is what radiants your beauty throughout the room. This is why some pretty women are prone to jealousy and other pretty women are not. The key ingredients is Sex Appeal. You cannot buy sex appeal, you either have it or you don’t.
100% you've hit it nail on the head!
so are you saying pretty women without sex appeal are the jealous ones or the opposite?
@@lolololololollol4793 I’m not saying either or, I’m just stating the reality of beauty and sex appeal.
charisma v magnetism
Fantastic comment. Sex appeal has really been disparaged but I think it’s a beautiful and natural thing. Was glad that this video didn’t go down the “man hating modern feminist” route.
Moral of the story and life is that everyone struggles, be it attractive looking or unattractive looking people. So be respectful, kind, nonjudgmental, and love others as you love yourself.
You nailed this summary.
@JoshyHush start now. Try hard. ❤
Best comment I've seen so far. You'll live longer too. 🌷
yup, agree!❤
This❤
I have a theory that many beautiful women experience social anxiety because from my young age everyone stared at us and would make comments about us, whether they were good or bad, and we became hypervigilant from it.
Great point!
I think it’s also because other girls would be so evil towards us
I agree...
Without a doubt. For me, It started in the family home with an older cousin physically abusing me (biting my foot when I was an infant to the point of making me cry, tying me to a chair in dark rooms and putting scary music on, making up songs to humiliate me, always giving me an attitude when I walked around, giving me the evil eye -all this before I even developed a personality. Never had a safe space since I lived with her. My family tolerated her behavior and never chastised her). Then my brothers verbally abusing me whenever they had a hard day. Strangers with bug eyes staring at my lips and hair all lasciviously-they would say anything positive, uplifting any compliment and transform into anyone they thought could get my attention at all costs, it was and still is very confusing, disorienting, dizzying, scary. I was sexually abused at age 7. For all women who went through something like this, stay strong. It’s not worth it to feel defeated by broken souls of any age
This !!!!
When you are beautiful, everyone thinks you already have it all. 1) Men even assume you are already taken. 2) People think of you as unapproachable . 3) no one asks you out. 4) oddly, other beautiful people gravitate to you, to speak to you and to be friends 5) People assume beauty goes with being rich - e.g people decide you may not need the job you are applying for.
Bingo
6 women and men are either extremely nice to you or can't stand you
7 women are scarr&Ed you steal their husbands
8 people assume you can't be s&ad
@@nopes993 9. you are left out by girls.
10. Men and Women try to neg you.
The worst part of being considered beautiful is how *unsafe* it is to be around men. You can never truly trust their intentions. Even my own male relatives I don’t spend much time around because the look in their eyes is attraction, not brotherly affection. It’s disgusting honestly.
This is very true. I used to worry about it, wondering whether i looked scary and unapproachable until someone explained it to me.
I cry everytime I watch Malena, as something very similar happened to me.
Single mother alone, with a huge financial problem my ex left me, completely by my own, I couldn't find a job because "too pretty to be doing this". Couldn't cry or have any negative feelings, because "you're young and pretty, you have no problems".
Men trying to take advantage of my situation, and women attacking me verbally and physically, acussing me of things I never did.
I'm still waiting for the "pretty privilege" and the easy life everyone talks about. I haven't got anything but hate and harassment.
It's called halo effect love.
And women attacked you physically how? Can you give me an example?
And have you ever had men you didn't know be extremely ru &de to you for no reason?
Yeah this comment sounds a bit delusional. If your better looking ur more likely to get a job. That goes for men and women Legit no one is gonna be turned down because your to pretty. And I also highly highly doubt anyone who turned someone down for a job would out right say oh it’s cuz your to pretty so op is straight up just speculating that the reason she was turned down was cuz of her looks. I will say though the second comment abt people saying she’s to young and pretty to be sad abt things I do believe. Because there is a halo effect and often time people associated better looking people with more positive things like happiness and it can be hard for them to realize they have problems too. But a majority of this comment sounds like a huge cope out. I highly doubt it’s just cuz ur pretty people r treating u this way there’s def more to it.
Also I wanna point out it’s not just pretty people that get harassed or sexually harassed I see comments in sections of videos like this were people who consider themselves pretty talk abt sexual harassment like it only happens to them cuz they r pretty. Like no, women of all looks shapes and sizes get sexually harassed. It’s not just a pretty person problem and you wouldn’t be exempt from facing that problem if you were less attractive it still happens.
@@cosmicionicc5134 I actually have had the exact same experience as this person. I live in the Midwest now where I get it the worst but I didn’t experience it as much when I lived on the east coast. The job thing was true as well. Couldn’t find a job in the field I wanted and when I finally did. I was SA and sexualized and they had a group chat filled with inappropriate photos they had taken of me around the office. Also, when I would go for certain specific jobs, they instead would push me to work in front facing roles where my clients were men even though I specifically said I didn’t want to do that anymore. Sorry you don’t believe it , I’m glad I’ve always had witnesses because my friends/partners didn’t believe it until they saw it all the time for years.
@@nopes993 physically attacked, Like punch me, hit me, grab my hair, need more examples? once I got attacked by a group of 5 girls, because they said, I was dressed like a w* to get men's attention. Mind you, I was 14 years old, wearing a skirt, boots, and a huge hoodie, and the girls were all over 19.
Yes, at a party a guy (first time seeing him) started verbally abusing me claiming "you think you're better than everyone cause you're pretty, you're not even that good looking" it escalated so quickly that a friend had to get me out of the party.
@@cosmicionicc5134 when I was unemployed I started looking for cleaning jobs (in my country they are extremely judgmental by class) they LITERALLY told me, you're to pretty but this types of jobs, try working as a secretary or something like that (and of course those jobs required additional studies wich I didn't had)
People DO say things like this. Coworkers, bosses, etc.
Is not that 'I consider myself pretty so I assume is because of that' is LITERAL what people have told me. You need the Screenshots with my ex where he told me I wouldn't be a good mom cause I'm to pretty to even care for others? Or chats with my co workers when they just comment on how pretty I am, and everything must be easy with this face? You need to see the lawsuits against my ex employers? You assuming that I'm lying is just more of the same thing... Why would I want to lie about being through difficulties for being pretty... To boost my ego? Come on...
I think an aspect to pretty privilege that often isn't talking about is how it can actually lead to receiving more racism and racial comments for women of colour. For example, I'm a black female that's considered very beautiful however I don't have stereotypically 'black features'. I have flat lips a very high and straight nose bridge and a skinny body with narrow hips. This has led to comments such as " I've never seen someone so beautiful, especially a black girl" and "you look elegant for a black girl" etc. I'm sure women of every race can relate to this and receiving backhanded compliments. I find it so fascinating how being attractive can lead to even more racist comments, you'd think it would be the opposite.
I agree. A hot black woman is going to get treated better than say a plump, white woman.
Most African Americans have European blood from slavery. Your features likely come from this and you are mixed race as a result. Do a dna test and get back to us.
@@jamiehershon what?? lol
SO TRUE i’m asian and i can’t remember how many times they said omg u’re so pretty for an asian as if it wasn’t a goddamn insult
Thank you for pointing this out. This usually isn’t brought up with pretty privilege discourse. As an Asian women I’ve gotten cat called as “ling ling” or attract many weird guys with Asian fetish. It’s disgusting. My Mexican friend gets called “spicy” all the time… WOC are hyper sexualized but also demonized for this.. very dehumanizing
As one of the most beautiful women in the world, Monica was perfectly cast in this role. And she played it not just as an actress, but as a human being who must surely have experienced the very same realities portrayed...albeit not to that extreme. But that is probably only because of the protection of money and fame. I am sure there are girls and women from small nondescript towns all over the world...going through exactly what Malena did. Sadly, real life is no movie. And there is no director to yell "Cut!" When other people make their lives a living hell...just because they too were not born extraordinarily beautiful. Beauty, is truly a doubler edged sword. Those who don't possess it, have no idea how hard it can be.
Yeah, I thought the same. Monica said in some interview that girls in her school were very mean to her because she was different from them, she was beaten up in the school toilet and bullied and girls blamed her for her beauty.
Can confirm your statement. Indeed this happens in third world countries.
@@ana-nim which interview is that?
It's not just women, but also men who can't have you. They just goes way far to make sure you look bad infront of others. Men who can't take rejection is equally toxic as jealous women.
I love how gentle this video is. It feels like a deep breath in a very long time.
this describes it so well
@@luvusm111 right it was such a comfortable video yk
@@starr2870 FRR it was like a cup of tea or a warm blanket in a way lol
Growing up pretty, there are 3 things I have learnt so far:
1: People will ALWAYS see your looks before your personality or words, something that causes them to make delusions about you. This leads to situations where when they start experiencing your actual personality, they become disappointed that their delusions were wrong, and start treating you differently. Example, me and this guy had been talking, he had made up some sort of view of me as this beautiful pure girl, that 100% could not have been tainted by men. We came onto the subject of sexual experience, and of course he right away started blabbering about all his great experience, desperately trying to prove to me that he clearly knew about women's sexuality and what they liked. However when it was my turn to share, and I started talking about a few of my own encounters, his entire demeanor and way of speech changed. His tone turned harsher, use of words, at one point he nearly straight up insinuated I was a wh*re.
2: Similar to point one, but in a more extreme case; Some men don't even, and WILL never bother to see your personality. All they see you as is some sort of beautiful artifact or an exotic bird, that must be collected. They will make no effort to have proper conversation with you/get to know you on a deeper level, but as soon as you post a picture or buy a new top, they are the first to notice and shower you in superficial, almost worship-like compliments. These men want nothing more than to have a piece of you, so they can satisfy and boost their egos. They see your beauty as a prize they need to win, but that is sadly all there is to it. Once said prize is won, you have no more real value to them. They don't see you as a human being. Like an expensive sports car, they parade it around town and show off to feel good, but park it in the garage upon coming home.
3: Most other women, do not want to see you win. I have very few friends i consider truly real and close, I have a lot of acquaintances, but not ones that would revel in my success. I have experienced all different kinds of shit talk, from girls I saw as my absolute best friends, backstabbing me and spreading rumors behind my back, to girls I don't even know the name of and haven't even MET, talking shit about me and making up lies, for no other reason than jealousy. Just recently, a girl whom I considered to be one of my closest friends, just nonchalantly told me mid convo "I actually hated you, like actually LOATHED you the first time we met. I argued with my ex at that party because he kept looking at you, and I literally felt like stabbing you lol", then after saying this she laughed as if she'd just told me about a funny thing she saw on tiktok. I've never been so aghast.
these problems are not really exclusive to being attractive though. Ugly women don’t get seen for their personality, they get judged upfront based on their looks. Women in general are judged based on looks rather than character, a sad yet real truth
Keep your head up my friend… You’re not alone.
A former friend of mine asked me if I had had any real friends ever.😔😔 she claimed that everyone wanted to fuck me both guys and girls. It truly is sad .
It’s very annoying for work.
This is all so true. It's weird how men expect you to be perfect at all times in every way possible. It's so dehumanizing. You're just not allowed to be flawed like every other person or they lose interest in you. I stay away from those guys when it's obvious how they see me. Or when I notice they are starting to put me on a pedestal, I stop them right away and remind them that I'm not perfect and never will be.
I am a dancer and an artist from Brazil and over here the problem is the envy of other women when you are very attractive and attract attention wherever you go. I've had problems with this since I was a teenager and I've learned to deal with and understand these people's minds in particular. I've already had problems giving dance classes because some women have already revealed to me that they prefer not to take classes with me because their husbands cast eyes on me when they accompany them. Once I enrolled in a gym to take a yoga class and the teacher didn't accept me at the gym because her husband is also a yoga teacher and they both work together. She asked me to withdraw from the gym because she said it bothered her that her husband cast eyes on me.
This video really made me cry. My mom was known in her youth for her EXTREME beauty. She’s always told me that being beautiful caused her so much misery. I saw a small glimpse of what she means. 😢❤ I don’t consider myself even a SMALL fraction of her beauty. But I am extremely lonely because my friends always turn on me due to jealousy. Also a lot of men don’t see past my beauty to see me for the wonderful person that I am. Now I’m in my early 30s friendless, manless, and lonely. But I am on this journey of self-love now and I know I’m going to be okay even if alone. 😢
You are strong, friend, you can push through 💗
You got this! Self love is important! & Yeah, a majority of humans are so basic.
I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I was hideous when I hit puberty, but blossomed when I reached 21. I was bullied by boys as a teenager, for not being attractive enough. By 21, girls were bullying me and my friend (who was 10x more beautiful than me). We had our skirts pulled up by girls. She had a girl follow her into a bathroom and punched her for no reason. I realised that I was miserable being ugly, but also miserable standing out. Today I'm 35 and just look your average mum, so no longer have issues from anyone. It's probably the least anxious period of my life, because I don't feel like I need to worry about how anyone treats me. And that's quite sad, because nobody deserves to be mistreated for their appearance, whether ugly or beautiful.
Can relate. I'm beautiful, but my health is poor and sometimes that leads to skin problems (eczema). When I had rashes people were mean because I was ugly/sick. When I got my eczema under control and look normal people are mean because I'm attractive. So yeah. You can never please people, waste of time...
@@blueberrydreams7799 So sorry to hear that. There really is no reason for people to be horrible. It takes nothing to keep themselves quiet. Also, sorry to hear about your ill health. I hope that you will recover, or stable one day.
Even pretty girls get bullied from boys and girls everyone gets bullied
I hope the girl that punched your friend gets a good slice of karma. She deserves it. Also the boys who tormented you.
May I please ask where you're from? What kind of horrible girls would do this????
I never experienced pretty privilege until recently when I had a glow up. I was never the prettiest girl in school or college and I didn’t pay any attention either on how I looked. Then after college my facial features started developing and my body got into shape. Till then everyone talked to me saw me for who I am. Then it all changed. I feel like most of the people wanna be friends with me coz they find me pretty. Even when I try to have deep conversations most of them don’t take me seriously coz they don’t expect me to have a deep side. There was this girl at my office who wanted to be friends with me just for my looks. She used to be somewhat obsessed with me and always used to talk about how cute I look. I eventually had to cut her off because she never tried to know the real me. People always expect me to have an attitude and when they see that I am very sweet and compassionate it confuse them. Also there are guys who take advantage of my sweet nature and try to get close to me so that they can flex around their friends. It puts pressure on me and I end up taking extra care on how I look since I feel like if I don’t look good enough they would be disappointed. I am slowly learning to love myself and not letting people affect my self worth.
its weird cuz as an 18 year old i start to get out of my shell more, a lot of girls actually see me as a pretty person, like so random but a girl randomly approached me to compliment my outfit and say that i was pretty. What i got confused is how girls were always the one complimenting me, approaching me but i had not one guy say things like that except my only guy friend that i have lol who seemingly loves to compliment me but i rarely been catcalled either so it puts me into a identity crisis lol
@@starr2870 Are you surrounded mostly by guys of your age ? It might be because of that. I think guys who are of that age are intimidated by pretty girls.
@@SawakoKuronuma77 i think so?? i mean when i go to my classes i dont have many guys in my class lol but i always notice people staring at me and it gives me such anxiety like if people looking at me cuz of something but idk like I'm so socially awkward with guys but my friends keep saying that its because they're intimidated to even go up, even one of them said she assumed i was dating someone cuz of how pretty i was (not to sound like a show off) but it has me deeply thinking lol
@@starr2870 I am also socially awkward and I am working on it. 😅 Where are you from btw ?
@@SawakoKuronuma77 im from uk, im british but south asian
the miss usa one shocked me how she can be the most beautiful in the "universe" and still hopeless and alone in the inside I hope she rests easy and is at peace now
It’s so sad and it’s disgusting how I saw so many comments of men using her death as a “see women beauty isn’t everything she was a independent modern woman a man would’ve made her happy” ugh I hope her soul rest in peace
this is exactly part of the problem... people are shocked she was unwell, because she was pretty? why was that shocking? beautiful people can't be hopeless and alone on the inside? And I know that you don't mean this comment it in a bad way, but unconsciously you carry on how society views beauty.
@ beauty is determined on how you perceive yourself and not everyone gets that. People just think every beautiful person knows they’re beautiful, so they should just be grateful and not worry about other things right, because so many people want to be like them !? It doesn’t mean anything, a face is a face, and if a beautiful person doesn’t believe they’re beautiful then it won’t help anything they feel on the inside.
@@catmerchant8699 right... I know more insecure conventionally beautiful people, than normal looking... being conventionally beautiful is really really so deep psychological and society issue, but I feel like most people take it very superficially and won't stop to think about it more deeply, what it can mean for the person.... and most people refuse to see the other (negative) side of it too. it is true that most gorgeous girls died of tragic lonely death, and nobody stops to ask why... to society beauty is not only black and white, but only white (meaning positive) and not open for discussion, and that is the problem in my eyes.
@@gabrieljimenez3461 because those things mean nothing, if you don't have anyone to share it with. and most guys won't go for the prettiest girls, and those that usually do, view them just as "pretty thing" that they can flex on everyone as a status thing, or to be added to their collection. and while there are women that are okay with that, there are also ones that would like a genuine nice basic relationship with normal and kind guy, that loves them for them. most gorgeous girls in history die tragically and alone, ever thought about why?
I don’t think I’m very beautiful, but I realized how different people would treat me once I got out of a gawky stage. I learned how to enhance my features and suddenly people stopped liking me or saw me as a threat. People started to be mean to me, or treat me as if I was ditzy and then started to make jokes about my looks. It’s crazy that the moment I became more conventionally attractive was when I became the most lonely and insecure.
Welcome to the club.
I'm not that insecure but people are either extremely nice most of the times or they just treat you like you're nothing.
What did you go through for example?
@@nopes993 I had a lot of friends who started to talk behind my back about how much I had changed and how I wasn’t recognizable when all I did was find a style that suited me. I also started seeing guys either be incredibly rude or call me basic when they didn’t know my personality or they would be incredibly kind and once they realized I didn’t like them romantically they would be distant and cold, or flat out rude. I also realized that the same traits I had my entire life were perceived with a different light. If I was acting a little goofy or was just kind of forgetful, it was seen as being funny or charismatic when now I would be ditzy, annoying and dumb. Or when I would go for something that was unlikely at least I was aiming high or talking a risk, but now I’m careless or cocky to think it was in my skill set.
@@gwynn2165
One thing I noticed on my side is how much people like the perfection of me. Before we even get to know each other they call me nice and every other positive adjective.
But they also don't like when I talk to much men especially but women too.
Like "be pretty but be quiet".
Have you also notice how women stare at you?
Either they are extremely nice or they can't stand you and I'm talking about total strangers.
Men the same.
Oh yes and men only want one thing from me too or for the rarest part marry me but we just met so I say no.
And when I'm not interested in a man for that they get cold I had other reactions too dangerous reactions. You gotta be super careful.
We gotta be super careful.
But the thing is I never know before going into a shop , meeting a new stranger how they are going to be.
Nice or extremely cold and passive aggre&ssive .
You never know.
You’re not alone dear ❤ I face this everyday ❤
It's the jealousy of other women that destroy beautiful women
I've seen situations similar to this play out, which is why it really annoys me when women try to act like there isn't a lot of jealousy and envy directed at beautiful women
When I was about 21 years old, bring pretty put me in a lot of difficult situations. I had social anxiety because I literally attracted stares from both male and female in large numbers.
When I got the chance to see a therapist for my self esteem issues, I told her that I felt I was too pretty and tried discussing some of the pretty privilege problems I was facing.
Maybe I expected more but she responded to me with hate, and made me feel I was a nobody - quite ironic isn't it??
Other pretty privilege problems I face is:
- Everyone assumes you are dumb: People get shocked when they find out I know, read, understand and argue philosophy. Or social matters. Everyone just is shocked like they have been given veils of confusion.
- You try so hard to be taken seriously: At least everyday I see myself doing so and this point tightly relates to the fact that because people think you are dumb, you keep trying to improve yourself.
- Everyone thinks you are rich, of don't have problems: I have difficulty asking for loans for people I call friends because their first reaction is ah, don't you have a boyfriend?? How are you single? How can you be broke when you are this pretty? All sorts of stupid questions like this that boil my heart to the brim
I am even more so triggered to write this comment because I work with certain people who make me feel this everyday🥺
And oh, no one takes you seriously too!
I'm 23 now - and seeing that therapist messed me up. I hated myself even more and stopped taking care of myself a while.
It's frigged up.
I’m sorry you went though something like that! Hope you’re doing a little better and seeing another professional who actually knows what they’re doing,,,,
is no one also going to mention with pretty women and loneliness? When attractive beautiful women feel lonely simply due to lack of meaningful relationship or any genuine intimacy bonds they had because all the men they ever dated just wants them for looks and beauty? When in attractiveness, you have the advantage of being the object centered to bring men as they value you for your looks and lust. It's concerning how loneliness is increasing overtime with attractive women but is overlooked and dismissed about.
I’m sorry but if a woman feels lonely due to the lack of meaningful romantic relationships then she is dating the wrong men. Attractive women have MUCH higher chances or finding love. If you are ugly, you have fewer option. Maybe go on 1 date a month, attractive women can go on a date multiple times a week. Therefore, more chances to actually find love.
An ugly woman goes outside and doesn’t get approached at all, an attractive woman gets approached constantly, even if it’s just for her looks, she has a chance to get to know a guy.
@@ayla8345nope. Most men don't approach the beautiful women because of the fear of rejection
@@ayla8345
It's shows you have no idea what you're talking about.
First of you don't "find love" you either have it or you don't.
Second of all no men don't approach us at all. Depends on the level of Beauty. If you're beautiful but like above averrage yes maybe a little.
But if you're stunning or clearly beautiful no you don't.
And if you do it's definitely not the men you want.
No we don't have easier time finding a husband. We have easier time finding men that's for sure we can walk up to a man and talk to him but it's not gonna be serious plus not all men want us either.
So no. Don't talk about things you clearly know nothing about.
@@elene.me.
True.
@@nopes993 I agree absolutely. Average-looking women get the best relationships because they are more attractive long-term. Everybody's going to stare at your beautiful wife, so to avoid stress and jealousy...
I was born in NY and I fled it when I was 28 basically because I could not endure the constant attention and harassment from men on those mean crowded streets. I ended up with PTSD from it and all these years later I still have nightmares about being on the streets in NY or the subways trapped and cornered. Now in my later years I’ve learned to accept my “appeal” much better even when young guys stare at me but yes, there is an ugly to pretty and it stays with you forever. Stay strong beauties. 😇
Jealousy, people just assuming you’re a stuck up, people assuming you already know you’re beautiful, both men and women getting intimidated by you without getting to know you, men trying to make you feel insecure just to so you think “you’re not all that”, women doing the same specially at workplace, competition from other women you never asked for, the struggle of making female friends, people not taking you seriously at work specially if you look younger than you’re age +beautiful, fuckboys, quality men rarely approach you …. the list goes the fuck on …
Oh men don't approach me at all. 😂
What if men had the handsome privilege and had other men get intimidated by them and women going crazy over them?😂
I live in Ethiopia, where women are praised for their beauty in all of Africa.
It's obvious the country doesn't have good education system so young ladies see this as an "easy money".
People have told me that Ethiopian women who migrated abroad are called gold-diggers, green card chasers...etc
I even saw a video of a Chinese man following and recording a local woman in Ethiopia saying that they are cheap, easy to get in Chinese.
Beauty can be a weapon and a curse.
Madison Beer is also a very good, recent example of this. I felt extremely bad for her as social media ripped into her just cause she is pretty. They blamed her for their insecurities.
OMG yes!!! Literally people write under her insta posts “I’m not eating bc of this
Right.
Which sucks. I kinda liked her because of K/DA since I liked her voice and it was so weird seeing people act like that towards her.
She has artificial plastic surgery beauty though lol
the worst part of being beautiful is having all your other qualities drained down and ripped off from you. if you're a pretty woman people will almost never acknowledge your talent, insight, amazing qualities, humanity, giving nature or pretty much anything that is your identity besides being pretty..
Ok but is that really just being a beautiful person problem?
The most beautiful women often experience to be an outsider without any good friends. It's sad because it keeps their self esteem low and promotes depression. Believing that there is something wrong with their personality or that they are bad people...
This !!!!! I’ve said this exact words
Really balanced and thoughtful analysis on a topic that is tricky to bring up because it sounds like a weird or false "problem" to have. I am mixed race, tall, busty, and have beautiful "exotic" features. It's an enjoyable thing to be pretty but as you say there are real downsides. I have been single for 10 years; I find men are sort of spellbound by my looks, it makes it very hard to get to know someone for real. The ones who are brave enough tend to be arrogant jerks. The nice guys tend to be way too intimidated. I've had quite a few guys become very jealous or insecure by the attention I get, either becoming very possessive or just ending things abruptly because they don't feel "good enough" - and they seem surprised to see that this hurts me very deeply, as if being beautiful should mean I never feel sad or hurt or rejected. Also, people tend to make a lot of judgements about my personality - a few friends and colleagues told me when they got to know me, they were surprised to realise I am down to earth, smart and kind of goofy- it doesn't really make sense does it? I like the way I am and wouldn't change anything but it is a unique flipside that most people don't understand because they covet beauty so much.
yep you worded this perfectly
I pray you find love 💗
Girl, this! No one talks about how the guys you want can get freaked out. I had a great date one time with a guy and the day after he called me and said "I thought you were a catfish and I didn't actually think you'd be real, sorry but you intimidate me too much, I just can't see you again" and I know it sounds dumb but I cried about it. It's not a problem you feel you can say out loud.
@@drewm6119 That's so miserable. I'm sorry
Team Mixed race 💪🏽
I was bullied so terribly I feel like in highschool by other girls, and even out of college or in my church, when I simply was minding my own , all I wanted sometimes was a girl group and it took me a while to find a trustworthy one. The pain of other women tearing you down, and men wanting to gain a status by simply being with you was inexplicable.
Yup.
Stay with God sister.
Only him truly loves you. Believe in him and don't ever look back.
@Magdalia Mahelóa Omg! You so sweet, sis! God bless you!
Being pretty is definitely a blessing and a curse. You can get whatever man you want but majority just want to sleep with you. Then most are too insecure to stay in a relationship with you or accuse you of cheating. I hate saying this but all the less attractive girls I went to school with are all married and all the really attractive girls women now are alone and wanting marriage. I have men follow me home. Wait for me outside the store. Not having a lot of female friends because they are jealous of you. It’s hard 😢
Welcome to the club.
I have only been followed one time though Wich was more than enough
Phew 💯😪
Literally me
I was an “ugly duckling” growing up and I didn’t peak in high school. Not until college did I grow into my features. Growing up I was always told I’m pretty and cute. When I turned 21 it’s “you’re gorgeous, hot, sexy” to the point where I’m so use to it, it doesn’t even phase me anymore (it’s just ehhh). However, when I turned 25, I came out of my shell abit more. I use to dress a bit more conservatively before and now I have more of a “figure” that no one knew about. All hell broke loose around my friend group. I have never seen people who I thought I was chill with have such hatred for me (mainly the females). When nothing else changed about me other than becoming a bit more wiser to my surroundings. I wasn’t dressing like a whore, I was dressed head to toe just a bit more form fitting (when I wore a bikini - which the other girls were wearing the same - I thought they honestly wanted to murder me… if the side eye could kill…) I started hitting the gym and my body became more toned and I couldn’t believe how much nastier the behavior got. It started as gossiping about me, then spreading rumors, now it’s a full on smear campaign to isolate me from my friends and family - my cousin started it all btw. When I asked what I did wrong… no answer. I’ve been told it’s jealousy but that’s not a good enough excuse for me. That’s the dumbest reason I’ve ever heard. Just baffles my mind how 22-40year old women are acting like 14 year girls. I never once spoke ill about any of them or saw them as competition or had any jealousy towards them. Until drama started I had to defend myself and they all hated me even more for it because I had always let them walk all over me. But I was always a person big on character. I don’t care for your material wealth or your degrees. Can you bring kindness and understanding to the table? Can you keep a conversation? Are you willing to listen to what other people have to say? Do you like history and religion? Do you like to travel? What books do you like to read? Are you a judgement person? Are you articulate?
None of these things seemed to matter to them and because it did to me I was casted out as the weird one. That was their reasoning. When their one dimensional brains can’t even comprehend topics other than gossiping. For people with degrees they sure lack common sense. But it is what it is.
When I became “beautiful” to the world, it only isolated me and made me not trust others because they just ended up hurting me out of jealousy - I became bitter from this experience and held such a grudge from trauma of it all but I’m learning to find myself again because I was never like that to begin with and I hated the feeling of anger and frustration of trying to understand where I went wrong. I fell into a depression because I couldn’t understand why others didn’t like me when I never went against them. But it’s a hard realization to accept that there are some really cruel and twisted minds that walk along side us. And it does still bother me from time to time but I’m learning to work past it and not let others effect my outlook on life.
Very relatable. I have a very pretty friend but she had a terribly rough childhood with abuse of all sorts.. Yet so many people only comment on her beauty not acknowledging that she is more then her looks. I also remember being younger feeling very ugly or weird because people would just stair but i just thought something was wrong with me. Constant harassment by men. When i was in my early twenties I started to gain a lot of weight after yet another attempted SA that my workplace denyied that could happen. I didn't understand why I couldn't stop eating and drinking but now so many years later I knew that happend as a form of self preservation. Now im a bit older, don't stand out as much as previously. Same goes for my good friend although she is still undeniably beautiful. But it has definitely brought some peace. My heart goes out to anybody on which ever side of the coin who is struggling. Let us all threat eachother how we want to be treated. Much ❤️ to all of you. Great video essay!!
You're the first person I've seen talk about this. I've noticed when I get into shape I get sexually harassed and assaulted, and after some bad experiences, I just started gaining weight and destroying my body so I would stop being objectified. I'm honestly tired. I can't even take care of myself without men being pigs and women thinking I want their dingy men.
pretty women are also hated/distrusted by men. my ex was incredibly controlling and insecure because he believed that i had access to whoever i wanted and would pursue it no matter how many times i proved to him that i was not that kind of person. it was awful. i hope this isn’t a reoccurring theme in my life that prevents me from finding love :(
My first relationship was at 19 with a man who was 34, and he abused me and mistreat me, and he put me down all the time, and it was because he thought that abusing me was the best way to control me because I was too beautiful
romantic love is that important? Better improve yourself.
Just give it a time and worry more about your hobbies, career and studies, I think.
@@romanovilla it’s certainly not my paramount desire but it’s nice to have. self-love has been and will continue to be my ultimate goal
Former ugly duckling🙋♀️ I’ve been overweight and was a late bloomer, puberty hit me like a truck. Being pretty can bring pain, but not as much pain as being ugly/overweight. The way people think of you and treat you every day is vastly different. Work, school, parking lot literally everywhere people look at you and respond differently to anything I say versus when I was overweight. Even after weight loss I delivered groceries curbside to peoples cars and wearing makeup that day determined how people, especially men treated and responded to me.
Noticed the same change, when I started taking better care of myself, and with the help of puberty, I’ve noticed a decent amount of change in how people treat me, and it kind’ve angers me, because when I looked like Shrek i was treated like shit. I can only imagine how tough it would be for someone with the looks caliper of Megan fox, brad pitt, or malena.
Personally my experience was that I was treated much differently when I was skinnier. I was being stared harshly which made me feel unsafe most of the time. My mistakes weren’t forgiven, and I had a tough time making friendships. After gaining weight I feel a lot more safer going out since no one is staring anymore. I am able to have friends and communicate much easier without being misunderstood. I am now viewed as a person who is learning rather than an already experienced person. Really weird, but I like my life better now that I have gained more weight
Exactly. The jealousy is not rooted in insecurity, it's rooted in reality. It's much worse being seen as an undesirable woman in our society, we acknowledge that plus people have an innate desire to have an equal society. Sticking out and being better than others in an aspect doesn't promote an equal and stable society, that's why so many cultures, probably every culture back in the day, have strict rules about being modest and downplaying your own success. This kind of jealousy is quite unavoidable, I think
Ngl i do get jealous of pretty women when they get too much attention. Jealousy is natural and i am not afraid to admit it. But the only difference is i try to control my behaviour and not try to be rude and spread rumours about them. This is the only thing i can control. Over the years you get to learn that there are every type of beauty and each person has a type! So you learn to appreciate it.
I was an "ugly" person back then until i decided to work on my appearance (working out, doing skin care, getting a haircut etc.) At first i LOVED the attention and the special treatment until i realized some of them are intentional and its either they wanna get something from me or they wanna get between my legs. The jealousy and lustful intent was new to me and scared me the fuck outta me. If you really wanna be beautiful based on beauty standards, you also need to learn how to set boundaries, see through someone's intentions, be smart in situations and i had to learn it the hard way. I got my pictures taken without consent, followed, catcalled, backstabbed by fake friends, insulted for rejecting someone, forced to go with someone, recieving back-handed compliments, sexually harassed, getting my whole appearance and status in life picked on and judge and got called rude and a bitch for saying "no". The list goes on.
People will underestimate you due to the "pretty face, dumb bitch" stereotype(i will also add demonizing women who are considered very feminine or good looking). Although it's hard, i get more opportunities as a pretty girl than i was before tbh. You just need to learn how to play with life because ugly or not, us women cannot get peace. We would always get into a cat fight with other females or had to avoid sick men that wants a quick fuck.
So to all young girls out there, please other's validation doesn't matter and don't only nurture your body, but also nourish your mind, set boundaries, find your own trusted circle, don't get give your trust away easily especially from boys and "friends" you're not close with. Be aware of how dangerous an insecure woman's jealousy is and a man's anger for not having a chance w u. Be wise!
An aspect of pretty privilege that is often overlooked (and I relate to quite too well) is having a perfect body. Yes, face is typically what we perceive as beautiful but many women have average faces and banging bodies and suffer for it. As a curvy black girl I’ve had non-black women give me dirty looks and accuse me of trying to be seductive since I was younger than 13…just for having a big butt and small waist that I tried to hard to hide. When your body is attractive people subject you to a sexual object only! Men feel entitled to you sexually or “you’re a hoe” and women see you as a threat in random environments like the grocery store where the last thing you’re thinking about is stealing someone’s man. It’s a gift and a curse!!!
It's crazy you had to go through that. I agree men feel entitled too. Some comments were mentioning how a lot of guys like to seek out virgins just to take the 🍪away but if we start acting less pure it's still the same shit, they start degrading women & not taking her serious so we can't win. I could literally call myself a slut and there's gonna be some random ass dude who thinks it's an invite.
Yes exactly. I have a nice body and omg it's exactly the same thing. I use to get death stares coming into work wearing skirt and top. Thank God I work from home now
@@tessy28 it’s so annoying cause you could be dressed homeless and your shape will still warrant stares.
that's so sad. as a skinny girl with absolutely no butt whenever I see with a lovely curvy figure I am just like damnnnm.... but it's all appreciate no hate
@@shaunnarochelle same.. i am not skinny but more so average size with minimal curves.. so envious to see curvy girls. Hate that people’s envy are so evil
Beeing beautiful is so difficult. I got fired a few times by women, cause they felt bad beeing in my presence. They are happy when you suffer and are without a job. The envy is so hard. Beauty is only an advantage when you are an actress or famous, cause there about 90% of women are very pretty. But in normal society where about 90% of the women are not gourgous, it is very difficult. I became a loner.
As a relatively attractive women, but not drop-dead gorgeous like literal models & movie stars, I can't even imagine what they have to go through. I constantly feel like all men look at me like a prop, and a lot of them arent subtle about it at all. It makes me feel like I cannot express myself or wear what I want... even in baggy jeans and a sweatshirt I get looks... anything more revealing and I get STARES. And as someone who despises being stared at, it's exhausting. I can't even imagine how much worse it would be if I had that 'perfection' beauty. I legit can't wait til I'm older so I stop being treated this way. People tend to assume I'm dumb as well...
Very good exposé. Malena is one of my favourite movies, and I believe that Monica Bellucci is a timeless beauty, and we often forget that she is actually a talented actress. I really appreciated the time you spent elaborating on female jealousy. Female jealousy is a plague. I personally do not believe in female solidarity, I think it's a bunch of malarky. Women, when in groups, often look for uglier people to associate with and stand out. When a beautiful woman has no group of friends, it's because she can't bear the consequences of jealousy.
That’s kind. Thank you for watching!
I believe that female solidarity absolutely exists. It is something that I have in my own life and it’s how, throughout much of history, nations have been built - it is through kinship among women as the central point for child rearing and relationship-building etc.
Jealousy is also a poignant reality we all face - whether on the receiving end or the giving end. Jealousy is a malady of the heart and can only be remedied through spiritual practice (read: ascending past the ego).
The reality is that beauty becomes so blinding that it can ostracize the beautiful to the point of deep depressive episodes that sometimes cause the end of one’s life by *self-ending*.
Beauty has many benefits in society, but every light side has a dark side.
I wont sound humble saying this but I have been called beautiful, and I cant seem to keep many friends- pretty or not, we just drift apart. Though I have noticed the friends who are more homely tend to "play rough" more, belittling jokes, condescending remarks, having a general aura of contempt when they're talking to me. I overthink things come to the general conclusion they dont really like me, so I tend to drift away.
Usually the more conventionally good looking ones are at the very least nice, I have a handful of girlfriends i have known for years, but I haven't been able to make new friends since hs.
I notice there are a lot of conventionally attractive women who seem to not have friends and have very similar stories
envy or avarice are destructive
@@tcrijwanachoudhury called attractiveness isolation, I used to wonder why I had trouble making female friends but over time noticed the sabotage, like one refused to take a photo of me from a certain (natural) angle because I "looked too good". She wasn't even in the photo, so I have almost no pictures of myself. Men wanted to try and force more than friendly feelings or their new GF/wife forced him to drop me as a threat.
@@tcrijwanachoudhury I thought I was reading myself. That is my situation exactly. I don't wanna sound pathetic, and pretentious, but being beautiful, smart, and confident is like having leprosy. I can't sustain female friendships, and if I happen to get along with a woman, it's because we don't hang together on a daily basis, but rather see each other occasionally. I tried to maintain friendships with other women whom I truly liked, but there is always an event or a sudden situation that shift the energy. I am often alone. It's not just beauty, if you are not a follower, and if you are strong willed well forget about it, that's the recipe for disaster. By disaster, I mean loneliness. I guess that's life, no one is special, and we all struggle.
you talking about cheslie's suicide made me recount a lot of comments made about beautiful women commiting suicide. There will always be one comment, if not many, saying, "What a shame, she was so beautiful". Most of them come from women too. We always blame men for reducing women to only their beauty, without realising we do it too. We always think that pretty women have a lot of privileges, and although they do, they have their downsides as well, and a lot of women contribute to that despair pretty women feel about being reduced to their beauty
It's so true no one cares about "beautiful" people's mental health even after they die. When I saw your comment I remembered the news about the Miss USA that commited sui**** this year. So sad. People think that being beautiful can save you from feeling miserable, or having low self-esteem. Pain is pain and no amount of beauty can save one from it.
I hate when people say " such a shame, she was so beautiful, or pretty, such a waste" Does that mean that if she wasn't so attractive her life wouldn't have had any value?
@@catherinebirch2399 Every good murder victim is a beautiful woman, podcasts waffle on about it so much you could believe only pretty women get slaughtered, better off ugly then really!
And sadly beauty CANT be synonymous with being intellectual . At least ppl(men) don’t EXPECT those two to be together or the woman is to INTIMIDATING to get to know. Men actually avoid women on a Angelina level from fear of rejection or thinking there’s a brad already making her happy. What’s the point other than looking, fantasizing,and stalking. Those with beauty understands no one wants to ever know you deeply and it’s a lonely life.. Especially, if you’ve gone through trauma(due to peoples misplaced issues) ,betrayal, jealousy, being put on a pedestal in someone’s mind and falling from grace when they see you’re human. I didn’t know Angelina’s story but I’m not surprised at this point. Privileges yes but consequences mostly dealing with your emotional fulfillment in life also BIG yes.
Btw this was really good and introduced things I didn’t know. I like the structure and commentary. You will excel on yt keep going✨💪🏽
I had a friend in HS like that, insanely beautiful, and too smart and intelligent (she was on top of the class and was 2-3 years younger than anyone else because she skipped grades in school). Anyways, 10 years later, now in her mid 20s, she's even more beautiful (to me she looks like half Angelina and half Monica Bellucci, jet black hair, big brown cat eyes, great cheekbones) but has never dated, has never even kissed anyone, most people think she's odd, and spends most of her days alone in her home. She has told me she has thought of becoming a nun, and that her family and friends think she's joking when she says that.
@@aricarly can relate lol
I couldn't agree more. Both men and women will sometimes go out of their way to ingratiate themselves with a beautiful woman who is dumb or mean or vapid, as it makes them feel superior, and they can laugh behind her poor back. Be seen (in others eyes) as sexy or attractive and also be intelligent and kind and you're going to be brutally attacked socially, psychological and spiritually 😢
Women aren't allowed to have both. Men will flee or try to destroy you. & other women will be angry at you anyway even if they get the man & you don't. It's only a temporary respite from their insecurity. & you're just alone the whole time not asking for any of it but just a few people to take you seriously & treat you well for you.
Lesson: people will always complain and point criticism on you. Be yourself. Screw them
I understand this. People are unable to believe something bad could ever happen to you if you’re beautiful, you can’t feel anything bad, people don’t do bad things to beautiful women… until it happens.
“It’s ridiculous you feel bad, you’re beautiful” it’s a phrase many times said to me in very different ways. No one cares because you’re beautiful, so your pain can’t be real… until you’re gone and then you’re still not a human being but a symbol.
To be fair, no one cares if you’re not beautiful either. And generally far more resources and public attention are given to cases where “bad things” happened to beautiful people. That’s why almost all the murder cases you know of that have been solved involve attractive victims. There are many, many unsolved cases but the majority of them are people who don’t meet typical Western beauty standards.
This brought me to tears. Thank you for this. I've never had my inner turmoil spelt out so well. Its a hard thing to talk about without sounding completely arrogant or having someone belittle it. Not being seen as a person, but as an object by men and a threat by women, and never being recognized for your true character or experiences, but instead being expected to be "perfect" is an exhausting experience. The number of people who leave when they find out there's more than meets the eye is devastating. I am glad I have come out the other side and can put those years of severe depression behind me now and I have learned to choose people I let into my life wisely now.
This video is so beautiful and sad at the same time. I'm of Turkish nationality and in my culture beauty is highly valued. How higher the value, the higher the price. When I was young I enjoyed my beauty, made friends easily, and of boys adoration was no lack. Later my ex husband made my life a nightmare because of his insecurities. Later when I got divorced I remember this deep hollow feeling of loneliness and rejection the most. Everyone around me was married and I could not engage in friendships with these women. I was never mistreated but I used to cry a lot and isolated myself from society because of my fear of being perceived as a threat. I'm 48 now and in a better place now. If I could do the past again I would embrace my beauty and would not care less,
Wow this video deserves to go VIRAL. I think this is something women, and especially beautiful women, relate to.,,I definitely do…feeling at times like I am only perceived not understood, and once my beauty fades I will be considered worthless…
I think a huge reason why the feminine is often just perceived or viewed as a fantasy instead of reality is because others don’t WANT to understand us. To be regulated to just a fantasy gives the onlooker a sense of control over the concept/idea of the woman instead of having that fantasy be dismantled by actually getting to know the person, Maddona, whore, and so much more
You’d love how I explore the second half of your point in my Doja Cat video. I do an analysis on the male ego and feminine persuasion.
@@halanuman def subscribing! love ur content
Thank you for your compliment. Welcome to the channel 💕
I’ve had the conversation with people before. It’s usually met with eye rolls . The objectification of beauty . It brings out feelings of lust , jealousy, admiration, insecurities, hatred. All before you even open your mouth . They have it made up in their mind . It’s like dolls . She can be anything you want her to be .it’s the person hold the doll that makes the narrative.it’s very dehumanizing at times . Friends are always astonished when go places . My mother had the same issues growing up .but yes, I’d rather be beautiful of course.
as an asian girl who gets fetishized this hits home.. but we as girls in general have it very hard. we get objectified in the first place and i really really hope to finally find someone who cares about ME for me, and sees that i am much more than my damn looks
In Malena, another layer of her story is that it's viewed from a teenage boys pov, almost as if it's only valid through a male gaze
Her redemption also came from a man
They also sexualize the teenage boy. Please dont continue watching that movie.
@@nafeesanaz 😂😂
Thank you for taking the time to explain the deeper meaning of Malena and articulating the way you have. This was beautiful
I was bully at school and girls will often display their jealousy with harsh nicknames or false rumours. I ended up loosing the girl friends of my younger years due to jealousy. I used to put myself on a lower level than them so they would accept me (despite my looks), but still wasn'tn enough for the girls to be satisfied. Now I've learned to choose my friends better (more confident and possibly better looking, I don't hate to be anybody's martyr).
I myself experienced this in my younger years when I was around 25 and looked my best. I used to get dirty looks from women for no reason and got treated rudely when out shopping. I had no friends because people see you has a threat. It’s sad to remember these times because i was really lonely and just wanted people to treat me like everyone else and wanted friends to hang out with.
Welcome to the club.
I swear when I go out shopping especially in the make up section or parfume section , if the staff there is ugly I get talked down and mocked , if the staff is good looking I get treated well.
I don't look anybody in the eyes anymore and barely talk to anyone because I'm sick of people being ru&de for no reason to me
What else happened to you I'm interested?
How did men treat you?
nooooooooooooo...
Malèna is such a great and relatively unknown movie. Thank you for such a balanced and thoughtful analysis ❤️ Subscribed!
This is so insightful and thought provoking. Plus your voice is ethereal and reflects your true beauty. Outward beauty in itself is an illusion because once you love a person's soul, their beauty never ends or fades.
Beautiful and well made video. I really appreciate you displaying the harsh realities of beauty; people really don’t understand it because beautiful people appear to be so stunning that they’re dehumanized.
Being beautiful is a double edged sword. My body is simply a vessel for me to live in and I always have to worry about sending the wrong signals for simply wanting to live life in this vessel.
Having gone through both the lack of pretty privilege and extreme pretty privilege… it’s kind of insane. i was super unattractive when I was younger. it’s like anything i did was inconvenient, my own presence was annoying. now that i’m older, grown into my looks, taken care of myself and, quite frankly, altered myself to fit the social beauty standards, i find the reactions i receive to be quite the opposite. People are so much kinder, and it feels weird. I behave almost the exact same, yet i’m more preferable now. but, before i knew people stuck around because they liked me for me. now i know they just want something aesthetically pleasing to look at. weird concept.
Welcome to the club
Well people never loved me pe&riod but now I know that it's only because of my appearance they are there because they disappear super fast. Me too tbh.
yep grown women would go out of their way to bully me because i was autistic. The way people justify being mean to a literal child is disgusting, it went away when I "glowed up" according to other ppl
Having gone through both the lack of pretty privilege and extreme pretty privilege… it’s kind of insane.
The worst part about this is that people will never understand how isolating it can feel and people think you’re conceited or shallow for saying stuff like this but it’s just such a painful experience.
I hate how beauty standards make a lot of people feel insecure
Just know that beauty standards are not the reality and y'all are good just the way you are
Everyone is born pretty so be confident
I agree that this video should go viral. I think many women want to be so pretty and crave that attention they imagine a conventionally "beautiful" woman gets, not knowing or understanding the pain that comes with it... It is really hard to imagine unless you experience it
Beauty doesn’t protect anyone from mental illness/ depression. However, most would be happy to have the “ burden” of beauty rather than being plain and ignored.
this has got to be the most beautiful video I have ever seen! the editing is impressive and creative and the message and the woman you include were so spot on your crafted words left me with a shiver in my spine...not to mention your soft and calm voice that really threaded the words together beautifully
So absolutely sweet of you to say thank you 🫶🏼 sending you hearts 💕
This video is so good it deserves wayyyyy more attention!!!!
Y’all are the best! Thank you Mari 🫶🏼
I appreciate all the people sharing their stories in the comments it’s hard to express these things to others because you will be perceived as conceited and people will immediately try to bring you down
I’m happy everyone is sharing too ♥️🫶🏼
Fr😢
I cried during this video! It was so engaging and so beautifully and well done! Pair that with your soft voice, it was a gem that I'm glad I stumbled upon. On my way to check your other videos.
For those who are more spiritually oriented, i have a theory that many beautiful women may be emotionally unstable because they're targed by so much evil eye on daily basis - which, if you don't protect your aura - can mess with you mental state really hard.
Brigitte Bardot is great example of that - women were spitting on her images and she was at some point one of the most discussed topics in French households and well, she was suicidal...
Yes and the same goes for exceptionally talented people (there are other contributing factors but this is one)
Yes.
Yup. I do magick with the help of spirits to protect me and guess what, people respect me. However, if I forget or go a long time without my magick there is definitely the jealousy kicking in. Better stay in your magick 😇
How beautifully you have woven the words in the narration ❤
What a sweet compliment - thank you! I am a writer, so one of my fave things to do is narrate 🫶🏼
This video is impeccable. Thank you for gifting us with this!!! So underaged
I don’t know how this video popped up on my feed, but I’m glad it did. Both the videos and the oration are a masterpiece.
girl, you have the most calming beautiful voice! such an insightful video, thank you for that.
This video was beautiful and well put together
You don’t even have to be beautiful for other women to treat you badly. I work in the customer service industry and if a woman comes in with a man as a couple I only make eye contact with the woman. I’ve had so many instances of women treating me poorly out of nowhere for speaking to the man or handing the man something I’m scared to do so now.
That's super insecurity and super pickme. Those relationships don't have a leg to stand on
@@feliznavidad6958💯
Such a wonderful video. Thank you!!! I love the comments of the ladies here. Beauty privilege is something we have to learn to live with but above all never let anybody take it away from you, physically or emotionally.
I love this video.I honestly love how you used your analytical skills. The presentation is astonishing.It was very intriguing and educational.
I totally viewed the movie Malena differently. She was beautiful and had sex appeal like a commenter on here mentioned. Sex appeal imo is really what made life difficult for her not just being beautiful. She appeared to be a newly single woman since it was assumed that her husband was dead. You combine that with her beauty, the way her body looks when she dresses in fitted, contemporary clothing, going out and about alone (for the time) and smoking alone (smoking is often viewed as sexy...oral fixation as Freud would say), it's going to raise eyes. Long hair traditionally has always been viewed as sexy which is why many married Muslim and Jewish women cover up their natural hair when out in public. The women in the town appear to be older, dress matronly, wear their hair up or keep it short, I'd assume are all married (this was in Italy in 40s....very traditional Catholic families), lack sex appeal. To me at the end, people started to respect her since having a husband typically made you respectable in the community rather than as a single, stunning woman. The women were no longer threatened by her despite her still being beautiful. She became worthy of respect to women once they saw her with her husband and when they saw her wearing more modest clothing. However I do agree with you that she gained respect once she started to conform. Marilyn Monroe I look at a differently as she had a huge male and female fanbase and was in the eyes of the whole world not just in a town in Italy. When she was Norma Jean she was a pretty woman and girl next door but didn't have sex appeal. Once she totally changed her looks and image, she became both beautiful and had sex appeal. Generally speaking, I don't think women are threatened so much by women who are simply beautiful, rather it's beautiful women who have sex appeal.
Im guy but id like to add my 2 cents
I agree with you but i also think we might be moving to the opposite of what you mentioned with sex appeal
Sex and beautiful woman with sex appeal are being so common these days
Can go online and see it when ever
That eventually women without much sex appeal or maybe that are just pretty with no sex appeal
might become more
Desirable
But only time will tell
@@jayash2957 sex appeal and looking sexy aren't the same. Sex appeal is almost ethereal.
@@Lalaland099 good answer... he either hasn't had the opportunity to be around people who have both beauty and sex appeal, as you said ethereal....
you only did a summary of the plot with a touch here and there
Sexy and virginal beauties are both hated. This isn’t the thing you thought it was.
This honestly made me cry. It found the words to describe everything I feel. From a young age I believed that all I am is my beauty, but what'll happen when that beauty fades?
I really needed this video today. THANK YOU ❤❤❤❤❤ God bless you!
Beautifully researched, organized, and expressed.
I completely understand. Beauty is empty. You're treated like trash by men. They don't love you or who you are, desire is empty. And fickle. "Love" will leave in a few months. And then you try again. And it happens again.
Wow....all of what you said is so spot on. The more beautiful you are the more men just see you as a prize or possession until they have won...then they actually become angry at you for having the hold over them..they resent you, hurt you and move on.
so true.. it’s also worse when aside from that u also get fetishized for being asian / or a poc in general and they leave u for another girl that has the “Same Features” and u’re just that easily replaceable
Fr
This is so depressing. It's interesting to read other women who relate to this. This needs to be talked about more.
@@goldenhourss i think also not to generalise asians, many asians such as south east or south we have a completely different pov. Just specify by saying east asian.
i don’t think you realize how profound “the experience of being a beautiful woman is a haunting reminder of how beauty can be tragically cemented as the experience of of only being perceived, but rarely understood.” i have been thinking about it all day. i have been trying to find the words for this recently and could not have put it better.
your voice is so soothing. This is a beautiful analysis
THE BEST VIDEO i have ever seen and listened to! Hala's articulations is so unmatched and is super intune. Thank you Hala for your wisdom♥
The whole analysis was terrific, and I particularly liked it at the end, where you mentioned we're all searching for the same things - love, happiness, and peace. For me, reaching closer to my 30s, I have to say from experience most people often only get 2 of those 3. For instance, I have happiness and peace - but I do not have anyone that loves me. Others have love and happiness but do not know true peace in their life. And likewise, some have love and peace but are not happy with their situation regardless of how "perfect" it may look on the outside.