PICKING A CATHOLIC CHURCH AND MASS TO ATTEND!!!
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Hello thanks for stopping by my channel! I'm Heather and I'm a Catholic wife and mom of 3 boys and a baby girl! I hope my channel will inspire others to grow more in love with God! I try to keep it positive and bring Joy to others here on this channel! I will be sharing all kind of videos from faith, mommy tips and tricks, testimonies, NFP, lifestyle, family and even some Catholic family vlogs here and there. Hope you enjoy! God bless you!
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Catholics should go to which ever parish they feel brings them closest to God!!
Try to find a traditional Church,, with an alter and communion rail . Mass said in Latin ,, There is now a fight between modernism & Traditional CATHOLIC Church ,, watch U.T. video ,,,,,What Catholics Believe ,, Fr. Jakens is on quite often and is so inspiring to listen to.
Excellent advice. I never go to Novus Ordo anymore.
@@stephguz hi there, i have to say that i disagree with you. First of all its not nice at all how your speaking about the traditionalists, since they are your Christian brothers and sisters who only want to adore and worship Christ properly and what better way like the way the Saints did. The traditional mass is the mass of the Saints. There is an unbelieveable amount of sacrilegious offences being committed in the new masses, which help promulgate black masses, only one example like the body of our Lord Jesus Christ being stolen for satanic masses or being spilt on the ground when its being handed down to our filthy hands.
We should never be touching the consecrated body of our Lord with our hands. The main issue with the new mass is the liturgy which is very protestant, you know its bad when you get a protestant coming to a new mass and they say they also play that song at their church.
The only one attacking here is you with your mean comments about traditionalists, if only you really understood the what the mass is and how its literally heaven on earth then you would even drive 3 hours for traditional latin mass to offer yourself up with Jesus in the true sacrifice, because we love our Lord so much we only want to worship him the best way so we make sacrifices to attend these traditional latin masses, its worth our soul.
I have a parish that does the new mass and another parish that does the traditional latin mass which is only 10 minutes away. They are the most loving people ive seen and we all have one thing in common, we actually strive for sainthood, and our Priest truly is that spiritual Father to us, he cares about us like a true sheppard so i feel so blessed to have this and i know there are great Priests in the new masses too, there has to be. The traditional mass humbles you, their is modesty in dress and demeanor. This is my experience and i would love to add that the new mass lead me to the traditional mass, it made me value the holy sacrifice more and more. I was devoted in the new mass and my life just changed in the traditional mass, i would do confession frequently and so on. I agree with heather with not abandoning our parishes near us because we really do not want them to be empty. I dont attend the new mass near me but i do go in alone and spend time with our Lord, i know that this parish isnt dieing out so i like going in alone.
So, the new mass is accustomed to the people, however in the traditional mass we accustom ourselves to be worthy of the holy sacrifice for our Lord God, and this becomes a great path for humility and obedience, because the mass is not done for us, we partake in the holy sacrifice offering ourselves up to God with and through his Son Jesus Christ. So im sorry but the new mass barely even resembles this.
May God bless you
My experience is, if the parish has kneelers as an option for receiving Our Lord, then it's going to be a good parish.
Heather, I am a traditional catholic with two grown up children and have always attended a Latin mass, please try to find a church that there is a Latin mass because more than anything else the mass is the most important part of our faith the true mass, then I’m sure with gods grace all the other devotions perpetual adoration things for the youth will fall into place because you have first put the true mass first and, our lord will see to it that you will have a thriving parish I’m sure. Like you I love my catholic faith so very much and my children and husband love it too so I hope you find a lovely parish. With good wishes to you and your family . In Jesus Mary and Joseph. Jacqueline Dewar
Wherever you go, you and your family will make an impact. That parish will be blessed to have your input and energy!
Convicting. I love it. Our closest Parish is all older folks and every Sunday I look around and we’re the only young family, so it’s hard to want to get involved, but I feel like I need to..
If there's a Latin Mass anywhere nearby, that would be my first choice. You won't have to worry about what might be said in the sermons. We stopped going to the Novus Ordo after too many heretical sermons and too many liturgical liberties being taken at the altar. Children are very impressionable. If there's not a Latin Mass within a reasonable driving distance, then you'll have to just go nearby and see how things go. Getting on the council might take some time when you're new to a parish. I pray you find a good home parish!
I’m looking for a church I’m converting from atheism and I found one that does traditional Latin mass close to me will give it a try.
I go to Traditional Latin Mass now and I feel so much more happier being there and more spiritual. However, because of my community and school I have a parish church that I support and I am saying the rosary and prayers that we can get these churches back to their Traditional roots. I go to parish meetings as well. I think that Traditional is making a comeback even here where I am in the SF Bay Area. We must pray on it.
I've attended a church that was more modern and what I craved was traditional. Latin Mass and Communion rail. It was more enriching.
We drive 3 hours round trip to attend a latin mass. It's worth it.
You can go to more than one Catholic Church. I go to our local Parish Church on Sundays, with the family, but during the week there are a couple of smaller Churches within a 30 minute drive that I might visit. One in particular I love and it's my Wednesday morning treat to go to Mass there, pray the Rosary and have a coffee afterwards with a couple of ladies I've met there. Of course, they know I'm from a neighbouring town and that they probably won't see me on a Sunday.
You need to go somewhere you will get fed and nourished, and then get involved. Don't just go to the local parish if the priest is teaching heresy, or if he is irreverent. I don't think we should support such parishes.
Support a parish which gives God glory in the liturgy, and doesn't make a mockery of Him (as sadly so many do).
I believe that will honour God more.
Perpetual adoration YES! Adoration is SO important for any parish. Closest to you. see how it goes. God will provide for you.
The more traditional the better I say! This is coming from a 22 year old btw. I’ve been attending a Latin Mass parish weekly since last September (only a 20 min drive from my house) and there are *many* young families there!
Love the point you’re making about trying to change the churches. There’s a closer Novus Ordo parish that I used to attend with my family, but it’s way too modernized in my opinion. I’d love to see it change for the better, though.
When I moved to the neighborhood I had the choice of 2 parishes. One is very Cathedral looking and one is very modern looking. The modern one is closer to my house. I went to Mass at the modern one and felt so comfortable and welcome. Funny that the priest who was the pastor of the parish I went to growing up is retired but fills in at our parish a few times a month. That reminded me how much I enjoyed that parish. I taught CCD and was a Eucharistic Minister. It took a year or so of going to this parish but now I'm a Eucharistic Minister here, I sing in the choir and attend bible study. I never even tried the other church even though it was more traditional looking. I'm so happy in this parish. The congressional is mostly older people but our priests are young and we are getting young families in now. So glad I went with my first choice.
My experience is that some parishes seem to resist change. And trying to change things a bit can take many years. If that’s the case, my children would never get to experience what will teach, feed, excite them to the Lord. They’ll grow up and fall away. Sometimes I feel you need to do what’s best for your family at that time and if it’s a parish outside your area, then so be it.
Great video Heather! Really hit home on this one. We have been attending our local parish that is only 10 minutes from our home. We have wanted to get involved and become part of the change BUT now we are considering attending our nearest Traditional church with Latin Mass, which is 45 minutes away. This is not a matter of convenience in my mind but a matter of truth & values. When I contacted SSPX they said that 45 minutes wasn't to bad. Many people travel over an hour to attend a Traditional Catholic Mass. I think church shopping is crucial, especially when raising children in the Catholic faith. My little ones are seven, five, and three so I want them to be grounded in truth, tradition, traditional Catholic homeschooling and a strong faith in the Holy Catholic church...we feel that a traditional setting might be best. Can't wait to see where the Lord plants you and your family!
Love & Blessings, Rosalie
No judgement in what I'm saying but isn't it a problem to go to a church which is not in union with Rome (well, with the catholic church) when saying we have a strong faith in the holy catholic church ?
I am currently going on Sunday to a sspx mass and mentioned it a few days ago while I was to confession (in a normal church). The priest told me I should not go there. Latin mass, ok but not sspx as they are separate from the rest of the church and are not in union with us. The communion there, is illicit. The Church forbid us to received it, though still recognize the sacrament is valid (this is Christ).
Obedience to the Church and humility are strong virtues we need to grow. Union of the church has been asked by our Lord..Is that right to disobey the church and attend mass there ?
I'm not saying you should not go there, I'm just sharing what has been through my mind these last days...
The church has changed a lot for me since I grew up in the 60s. Back then as a child who went through 12 years of Catholic schooling I left the church once I left 12th grade and returned to find it changed but there are still different types. My children are grown and do not attend but I have church shopped in my area and found a church that I feel makes me happy to be back in the church. It has beautiful music and a wonderful priest and congregation. I do prayer shawls and my husband does readings and it feels right for us although far from the traditional mass I was accustomed to. It is what I wish it had been like when I was young and may not have ever left. I also see others who prefer more traditional or Latin and find it to be a personal choice, good luck I grew up in the DC area so know you should have many choices. Also you can tell a lot by a church’s website.
Yes, websites reveal a lot & can give you an idea if it might be a fit
You may find it harder to change things than you think. If you feel comfortable at the nearest parish, go there, but you can’t do everything by yourself. My old church didn’t have many activities because the same people did everything and there are only so many hours in the day. I like to be active as well, but they didn’t let me do much because I was always carrying a baby or pregnant lol. I can’t go to the parish closest to where we just moved because it is waaay too far out of my comfort zone, but the parish we go to is amazing and only slightly farther away.
I totally understand your back and forth, I think the hardest thing is to no get discouraged when trying to get involved. I think start with the parish closest to you for sure but realize and be open if trying to change it is hurting your faith practice and not helping it.
Personal I would church shop partly because many church where I live are a combination of a number of former churches that all share a priest so I was looking for a mass that music, homily ect worked for me... plus just time also.
What a great topic Heather. After five years of ‘lurking’, I finally began attending mass this April (you and Laura of what Laura likes were instrumental in supporting me, thank you).
For the first two months I attended my local parish. I joined a moms group there which I am still active in and everyone was very friendly, two of my sons also attended VBS there recently. For two months I slipped in and out carefully practicing the motions to blend in but never going up in line to receive a blessing and obviously not the Eucharist. The priest would say something nice about my baby on his way by sometimes in the little hallway outside the main ‘church’ part (sorry I know there is proper words but I don’t have them memorized) and he seems genuinely like a very nice happy fellow. I think I could’ve gone there for years and never became catholic.
Seeking RCIA (and still brimming with questions that were being left unanswered) I found a church that offered a summer RCIA program about an hour away. They also offered Latin mass which I was interested in. I have been attending there since I started RCIA in June. The first time I attended this church the priest made a beeline to me afterward and said, hi, are you new here? Oh well are you catholic? Gulp- he found me out right away! Lol
I have also been to a local pilgrimage sight for daily mass a couple of times and attended a different church about an hour away which offers later services when I missed the morning service I would normally attend.
Now that that background is out of the way here are some comparisons/thoughts I have regarding this:
My local parish has a lot of activities to participate in. Mass is similar to Protestant churches I have attended previously and the homilies I have heard are very nice but often somewhat vague compared to homilies I have heard at other churches addressing more directly some issues our culture faces today. The RCIA director at this church has made some statements that aren’t consistent/adherent with my understanding of the teachings of the catholic faith which was concerning for me (though I am a newbie so not claiming to be highly educated on these matters) and some of the long attending parishioners have expressed some perspectives such as “well, not every catholic can adhere to all catholic teachings you just have to kind of pick what works for you” and so on that have seemed somewhat concerning and confusing to me- especially since my path to seeking Catholicism was based on seeking more firm and consistent and clear faith teachings.
So far less local church I have been attending has been preferable, though void of many activities I would desire to participate in like youth group etc (however offering RCIA right now unlike almost anywhere else- I had seriously looked into a church outside my state to attend RCIA before the fall). The church itself is beautiful (local church is utilitarian) homilies are succinct and extremely direct regarding our current culture. They adhere more to traditional teachings which I really like personally but which also makes more consistent sense as I continue to seek out the faith. So, although I desire to grow long strong roots, this is where I am attending now and I am happy to be here.
I suppose that was just me rambling and sharing but that has been my experience so far. I hope you find a wonderful church to be a part of in your new community, my prayers are with you and your family during the move!
We need people *just like you* to get on parish councils! I think you’re so right. I wish more people had the courage and motivation to join the parish council! And you can always visit a different parish for adoration while working to better your own parish (:
Such an interesting topic. We live in a community that is mostly retired people and we only go to our local parish a few times a year. We usually go to another town for mass at a bigger church that has a school. Our kids are very young now but we hope to send our kids to the school when the time comes.
We go to our nearest parish (but there are SEVERAL Catholic Churches that are a 5 min drive from our house)
The church we go to is the one my parents met at, got married, my brother and I were baptized there, my husband and I got married there, and our kids were all baptized there so even if we move away we will still go to this parish. I love the tradition of our family being there for a long time. And also the parish is a family. Those people saw me grow up, and are seeing my kids grow up. We have always been very involved. I would have to say that if we moved out of state I would look for the Catholic school I would send my kids to and then choose that parish to join. Or if the kids were not going to Catholic school I would join the nearest parish. I don’t like to church shop. We occasionally attend different parishes if we need a different mass time, but otherwise we like to be at home with our own parish.
When I first started attending our church it felt a little overwhelming because it has a huge community. Not that it was lacking anything but I felt I had to find my place. I knew I had to make this a place of my own. So I got involeved in teaching preschool and now the non sacramental classes. Ive done this for 15 years and it has helped me with my faith and being involved. I also launder the linens once a month, which has been a blessing. Our Lord will lead you to the write church.
I chose our parish because it was the closest. You can imagine my shock when I walked in and realized it was a traditional Latin mass. What luck! I’ll never go back if I have the choice. Most of our parishioners travel miles and miles just to go there. Some of them are considering moving closer just to be close to this wonderful parish.
But I chose because it was the closest.
Yes! We the parishioners have to unite, and work together in the Holy Spirit to restore the Church back to it's Holy state. We need to keep Faith in Our Lord, and follow His purpose, and will. God Bless you. Congrats on your move. ❤🙏💒
Love this video. It's something I'm currently trying to figure out. My thoughts so far :
1. Continually praying for God's guidance.
2. Making sure I have my own sense of God time going so that I'm not fully relying on my Church to feed me.
3. Remembering, no " Church " is perfect.
4. Being honest about what season in life I'm in personally and what my genuine main needs and capabilities are when it comes to being a member of a Church.
Looking forward to seeing what other people have to say on the topic.
As a new Catholic this year, I had only been to traditional Novus Ordo. When we moved to Florida I assumed all Catholic Churches were the same. My husband travels for a living and he’s been to several different Mass locations and they were all traditional N.O. I was so sad to see more liberal and Protestant sounding parishes in Florida especially the more south we traveled. We ended up changing where we were moving to just so we could find a better parish. I was losing sleep over this. It makes me so so sad that there are Parishes that have done this horrible change and seem to show NO REVERENCE for God in the sanctuary! So disheartening. We found a close-ish Latin Mass we are going to go to as well as local-ish Parishes that have a more traditional and reverent N.O. Mass.
I recommend finding a parish with a TLM. I grew up in the NO and my family has been going to the TLM for over two years now. We have occasionally gone to the nearest NO (when we got snowed in and couldn't get dug out in time for the TLM) but don't find it as reverent or satisfying.
God Bless you and all the viewers!
I've always worked part time for my parish in any given city, so I'm most involved in that parish. I also attend latin mass/Spanish mass/adoration/etc at other parishes. I think more adoration can be added at any parish for example but adding Latin or Spanish mass to a parish where the NO priest is not familiar with either language is not something I'd recommend pushing for (just my opinion)... I don't think every parish has to have everything.. especially in my case if there is a Latin & Spanish mass available at the next parish down the street. Hopefully that makes sense.. it's not a black/white answer. My friend just moved & in her old state she was required to register at the parish closest to her. She is happy in her new state, she can register wherever she is most fed.
Some times churches that have been running a certain way for a while, are not willing to change or change in certain ways. I think it depends on who is in the councils etc. Some people in some councils can be hostile to certain changes.
God and your heart will let you know. You'll go in and feel the peace of God. That's how I know my church is the one for me.
A couple of points: your family is an excellent example of what St. JP II called the ‘domestic church” (See his apostolic exhortation, ‘Familiaris Consortio,’ you would love it). Y’all ‘do Church’ so well as a family that whatever you might find ‘lacking’ in your parish church would be offset. Slightly different, but still relevant: as a college professor, I was always deeply impressed with the academic excellence of my students who were products of our abysmal public school system. Upon investigation, I discovered that what made the difference was that their families had fostered a ‘culture of learning’ in the home. Y’all do the same thing: you foster a ‘culture of Catholic Faith’ in your home.
Second, the ideas and viewpoints you express, beginning at 2:40, are on point, & I agree 100% with you. Perpetual Adoration chapels are very challenging to not only get going, but also to maintain. They completely transform the parish, however. Our parish has had one for nearly 40 years, & it would take forever to describe the beneficial effects. There a many parishes in the Archdiocese of New Orleans with PA that have experienced the same, & Archbishop Gregory Aymond would say that those benefits have extended to the entire archdiocese. It sometimes helps to begin gradually. One might have Adoration on First Fridays, after the morning Mass, until noon, concluded with Benediction. One would then find which people would be good candidates for a PA team with which to build towards a true, total PA. And so on......
Finally, remember to include prayerful discernment in all this. It’s interesting that you posted this on the feast of OL of Mt Carmel. Ask her for guidance. Go to the pastor of your new parish & ask him for assistance in prayerful assistance as you are discerning how to contribute to this community. We often believe that we know what WE want to do, but it is much more important to discover what GOD wants of us (of course, you already know that. Forgive my preaching).
Find a Church that will teach your children and family traditional Latin Mass / orthodox Catholic teaching - i.e. completely faithful to the Magisterium. - Find a place that will accurately and faithfully answer all of your children's questions about life as they grow up. Otherwise, you risk wrecking havoc on you and your family. My family stayed at a parish closest to where we live that did not teach me or my siblings almost anything about the Faith. We begged our Mom to switch churches, but she wanted us to attend the Church closest to us. Four out my 7 siblings completely left the Catholic Faith at one point in their lives because they did not know what they were leaving - they had no foundation and accurate liturgy to back it up. A 5th almost did until I introduced him to the Latin Mass. Of those four who left, two of them are still not Catholic (the are in their late 20's). They do not even know what they left. A 3rd is basically Catholic in name only because he has almost no foundation on which to build his Faith in God. Even my parents do not understand the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist because they are not learning it at their Parish. Some people actually think that the parish they attend is traditional leaning - it is trying to implement perpetual adoration. But, my friend, it is not traditional enough it is not a full-fledged Latin Mass that has a liturgy that reinforces what the Church teaches (i.e. the Eucharist is God, so no communion in the hand, kneel to receive him, etc.)a
I actually went through this exact situation last year, Heather, so I understand your predicament. Personally, I think you should try to go to the parish closest to your home, but if this parish does not work for your family, I would say find a parish that does! We tried to attend the parish closest to our home, but honestly, we did not feel welcomed. I understand what the Pope was saying, but if a parish is failing, perhaps it should close and combine with another parish to create a stronger church. Recently, I was struggling with how to handle the scandals that have come to light in the church. I asked my local priest for advice, and he told me that these scandals will ultimately make the church stronger although likely smaller. Perhaps some failing churches will close, but isn't it better to have fewer strong churches than many failing parishes? Good luck in your decision, and thank you for your ministry. I love watching your videos!
This is a great topic! I have also read this, and we do not go to our nearest parish to us. I think just like with personal relationships sometimes parishes are just a bad fit for your family. Ultimately you have to do what is best for you and your kids, having a church community that is supportive, where your children can make friends and grow their faith is critical for keeping them in the faith. I also think you have to find a parish where your family fits in culturally. If you are a very conservative catholic but everyone in your parish is not, do you need to change the parish into what you need or do you need to find a parish that more closely aligns with your practices? Good luck, I hope you find the perfect fit!
I agree. Everywhere I have lived (and I have moved a lot) I always make sure to live within walking distance to a Roman Catholic church, and that’s the one I attend. The same goes for work....I attend the noon masses in the church nearest my office.
Beautiful
My sister-in-law donates financially to her closest parish church and they attend mass there on Holy Days occasionally. But with 4 kids she and her husband put priority on a parish with a more active youth outreach and education so they regularly attend a church a little farther away. I think it’s a great compromise. Our family is in the situation where there is only 1 Catholic Church within a 40 min commute but thankfully we love it and it does have youth activities for our kids 😁
I strongly believe in going to the church closest to where we live. My parish struggles with our congregation coming from near and far. Its hard to organise meetings and get groups going when people travel far to come. Ive been the chair of the parish council in my 30's and a woman too! I got Children's Liturgy going, a Sacramental Programme in action, and people talking to each other! Its been hard but worth it!
We usually visit different churches to find the one that we are drawn to whenever we move. Sometimes the ones closer are just not uplifting or satisfying our spiritual needs.
Go too a latin mass
I definitely believe you are on the tight track. I think the message you received from Open Benedict is God's way of telling you and seems the Lord has been trying to get your attention 😊. I would say baby steps if you want to bring changes. I don't church shop I was taught from a young age you got to your neighborhood Parrish. God Bkess.
Our family chose a parish based on the fact we are sending our kids to the parish school as well as having family also attend. I do agree that there are certain churches you feel more connected to and feel you can use your talents to best contribute to the mission of that parish. I get involved in groups that better match the state my family, for example we have young children at home. However, I love the idea you gave of getting involved in a more general council or committee in order to give our time and efforts for overall improvements.
If you feel called to do this then yes, please do! I truly believe that it depends on each person and family and where God is calling them to be.
With that said, I do think you should still Church shop or look at different Churches while attending the one most closest to you. It's always nice to branch out and see the different Catholic Churches in the area.
I struggled with this when we moved to an area where there aren’t many Catholic Churches but we lived a similar distance between two different parishes. I first started attending the closest, the one in the same City we are living in. It reminded me of the little Country churches I grew up in as a Protestant. There weren’t many young families and right after mass, most people left immediately, while a few stood and chatted with people they knew. There wasn’t much going on as far as church community and the only other service was on Wednesday night which again reminded me of Protestant churches. I liked the priest but he is close to retiring and once he leaves, I’m honestly not sure what will become of the parish. On one hand, I felt like we should try to help build the community and keep the Church alive but... my husband was working crazy hours and usually couldn’t make it to the super early morning mass on Sunday so I was often alone with our toddler and craving fellowship. We started attending the other church just 5 minutes further in the opposite direction (in a different City) on Saturdays and Holy days and then started attending Sunday mornings. This church was more traditional which I really appreciate and had a community I felt like we could be a part of and grow with. I prayed about it and talked with my husband and after visiting for a few months and then attending our first church picnic on Pentecost Sunday, we decided to become members. I’m now a Cantor (so wonderful to be singing again!) and my husband has been asked to join the KOC here. For now, I feel like this is where God wants us to be and I’m thankful that there was another option within a reasonable traveling distance.
I’m surrounded by Norvus Ordo mass only therefore I pray the Holy Rosary ,fasting on certain important days based Catholic faith teachings since doubtful sacrament one does not participate in instead offer reparations for our sins through mortification is a must try.
We recently moved somewhere that only has one Catholic Church. We live in a small country town.
In our old city we did church shop. My kids were younger and I don’t regret it. I didn’t have the time to invest to try and make changes and I didn’t want a “fixer upper.” That may sound tacky but I don’t regret church shopping.
Hi Heather, sadly where I live there are a bunch of Catholic Churches that are being shut down and closed. My dads church they just closed the church and now they are closing the school. I am not catholic but have always felt so loved and welcomed in the Catholic Church. It is super sad. I feel like when I join a Catholic Church I might have to attend mass to feel out which one best suits me.
We have parish boundaries. If you want to attend a parish outside your boundary you have to receive permission from your home church. We are lucky enough to have our church across the street and can walk to it and thankfully it’s full of amazing families!!
I go to my local parish, but have sought out other parishes as well. I've never given up my local parish, but when I had a teenager, I needed to have her see that there are actually young people who attend Mass ( we had NO one in high school at our local church), so we drove 40 minutes for Lifeteen . She has stayed a faithful Catholic, becoming even more Traditional after attending Franciscan. Many parishioners in my home parish are pro-abortion, etc., so I am still involved there but travel 35 minutes to attend a TLM as well.
Great video and I love your channel! We live in denver so theres no shortage of churches. My husband is a huge advocate of going to your 'assigned' parish from the churches boundary lines. It has a school but those who go to mass are definitely older (a lot of grey). The priest is great, but for some reason, not many people go there. We have about 10 great young catholic families in our neighborhood and we are the only ones who go to our assigned parish. In fact, there are 4 different parishes represented in our neighborhood group, which is so sad because we see these people all of the time, except at mass
And our parish would be booming if they all went there! That being said, I have toyed with going to a stronger parish once our kids are more influential by their peers (our oldest is 6). Its a hard decision that's for sure!
I think that as a family you should pray, and God will show you where, He will give you the answers. Us as well have been there, and sometimes we end up going to one parish one Sunday and another one next Sunday. We have a parish, the one closest to our home and we are in a couple group there, we have adoration there during the week, but sometimes we have to go to Mass to another one. Hope this helps you. I will be praying for you too. God bless.
I would go to the one you feel comfortable with. It is your responsibility to provide the best for the kids in this matter also. The church we attend is not the closest but it is the one my kids are happy because there are lots of families with children and also lovely and caring elderlies.
If you have strong feelings of something being very wrong in a parish, I think it is reasonable to attend mass at another parish even if it is an hour away. However, if the parish seems to be good and just not offering what you need and want in a parish, I think that is a good thing to get involved to help the parish. Though for extra strength spiritually, driving the extra hour on occasion to the more favorable parish seems reasonable. My family lives out in the country, and are about equal distances to 3 parishes, we goto 2 of these parishes on a regular basis.
It's hard to be sure -- I've actually been struggling with something similar! My parish (a mere 4 minutes away from my house!) has quite a "modernist" spin on it lately. It hasn't bothered me much in the past, but it's seriously beginning to rub me the wrong way as of late. I've been going there for years though, since my conversion seven years ago, so I'm basically praying about whether I ought to find another parish (since there are 2 farther away from me that are a bit more traditional), or stay here. When I visited a community I was discerning with almost a year ago, I told one of the sisters about my uncertainty and she actually said the parish might need my traditional presence, so even if it's tough, I need to consider staying. I'm involved with a few things, and I aide for the religious ed classes, but there's not many things to be involved in! So it's still that struggle of what to do, I suppose.
Also I'll pray for you as you and your family pick a new church to attend when you move!
Congrats Heather! Hope you love your new house! Will pray for you. I ask this question as well and I think if you are willing to help a church for the better you not only help that church but the people who go there that might not be able to get to a farther church for whatever reason. Though I'm curious how the church will receive you and your awesome love and care so if you do and the church rejects you could you please make a video on that. Because if that church refuses certain things for the sake of " modernity" I say find a church that not only makes you happy but will need your donations as I assume those churches are the most attacked .
Holy Trinity in Gainesville VA has a Latin mass. We "shop" for where we are most comfortable. We are pretty much in the middle of parishes, geographically speaking.
In my heart i think you should attend church to each parish service and the one that makes you feel more at home. Then choose. i remember when i first met my husband we attended his childhood parish and i loved it but i didnt feel home there. Now where we live thiers a parish that has big beautiful latin themed mass. Its a tourist sight and i feel more at home there so we attend there. Sometimes the parishes dont really want change. Id stick with the one i feel god presence more.
I think you should give your local parish a chance, but if you find it driving you from your faith find what works for your family. We are all Catholic but have different charisms and I don’t see anything wrong with that. In Northern Virginia they are crazy about going to the “in bound parish” and have published boundary lines. After several efforts the pastor and I had a conversation about my concerns which he recognized as valid but were things he wouldn’t allow to be changed. I attend the local Jesuit Parish and LOVE IT. I love that there is religious education for kids with special needs and I’ve gotten super involved in a vibrant parish and grown in my relationship with God.
So, I didn’t church shop... there were a few reasons why:
1. I am pretty rural and it’s a long distance to the next church- I know that’s not an amazing reason.
2. Catholicism isn’t popular in the South, so smaller parishes struggle to keep their doors open down here. I wanted to support ours!
3. I like the idea of my kids growing up with fellow Catholic kids who are close enough for play dates!
4. Because our parish is smaller and older we have so much support for the kids and the youth ministries. Our elderly community LOVES our kids and not only physically, but also financially support/fund pretty much ALL of their activities and ministries!
I might be more impressed by a larger church or a Latin Mass, which our church doesn’t have, but I wouldn’t be able to find a more loving, supportive community anywhere. I think we, as Catholics, owe our home-parishes a fighting chance. I also think they rarely let us down if we are willing to say what we do and don’t like and try to carve out our spot in the pew! ❤️ God Bless!!
We live in So Cal where there are a lot of Catholic Churches close together. We always went to the same one I grew up going to even if it was a little bit farther than a different church since we basically always lived in the same city. If we would go with my in laws we would go to their church which was also close by. We moved to a neighboring city and intended to go to the same church but it was harder to get us and the kids there on time so we thought we should try our closest parish. We are right in between 2 that are down the street from each other so we started with one and really didn’t feel like it was a good fit. Eventually we decided to try the other and loved it, especially when we compared the schools since it was almost time to put our son in school. So I see both sides. We are equally close to both but we still chose because it felt like a better fit and we love our church and school. I would suggest trying the closest church for awhile and seeing if it is a good fit or how you can contribute and if it isn’t, maybe try another.
I too believe you need to go to the church nearest you. It is because people “shop around” you don’t have all age groups. Your parish needs to be more than just where you go for sacraments. It needs to be your community. When I was growing up our parish community was our faith community, our social community, educational community for all ages, family community, prayer community. Our Church fostered growth for our entire life.
I have never found a traditional Latin Mass community that is welcoming to everyone. I have found them to be critical of how you choose to pray, dress (critical if you don’t wear sleeves at least to your elbows).
I believe that the priest is extremely important to which church you should bring your family to. I also understand that may mean changes churches at some point due to the fact that you may have a priest you love who moves and then a less traditional priest enters that particular parish. However, if that be the case, so be it. Think about who you want your children confessing to. Do you want them confessing to a priest that you trust will guide them in the right direction or deliver a lukewarm, passive message. When you think about it in that context, it should help to narrow your search. You can get a feel for how the priest feels about certain issues by simply asking or observing how communion is delivered. Communion on the tongue is so important and preferably while kneeling, so if you find a church that delivers it in that form you’re certainly on the right track. Also, you could just ask them if they are more traditional or more “new age.” They will probably be honest with you. Lastly, any church that has 24 hour adoration chapel is another very good sign.
Pray the Holy Rosary.
Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
I live on the line between the Rockford Diocese and the Chicago Archdiocese on the Rockford side. Rockford is traditional while Chicago is progressive. I chose a parish in the Chicago Diocese even though St. Monica's is just down the street.
You know the right thing to do. Pray and wait for your answer.
I wish I had options where I live in Germany I only have one Catholic Church near us and they speak only German obviously so it's very hard for me since my German is not very good yet. This is probably the biggest reason I miss living in America...
It’s great if we can change the parish that need the changes. But most Priests are afraid of offending the majority of the people and most people don’t want the changes nor do they want to make any effort to change. My kids are older and because I didn’t raise them up with a true faith and need to do more so now. So it’s important for me to know my true faith and apply it in my daily life so that I can witness with my actions.
Back in Poland where I am from you sort of found out what parish your house belongs to as parishes get territories assigned. You could go to different parish, but you were auto-assigned to a specific one. After moving to U.S. I moved to a Polish neighborhood that have had a Polish parish (along with Irish, German, Italian and Lithuanian, but they just got merged) and I went for Polish parish as I wanted that cultural connection. As for you, I think you should scout the local parish first and see how receptive they are for the ideas. Also I know some priests and councils are more receptive if you are willing to help out with the ideas. So say if you want mothers' group then are you willing to help organize such group and potentially for couple of weeks be the lone member showing up before it catches up. Goes for all the other ideas you mentioned. Also are you willing to "compromise" and work with different groups within the parish. For example my parish now. After the merger we have 5 strong ethnic background groups (although only Poles are still predominantly "fresh off the boat" guys and have mass in Polish) and some (like all 5 of the groups) can be fairly thick headed and not always willing to budge. But working together we can satisfy everybody. So if there are say Mexicans are you willing to have space for their way of celebrating All Saint's day that is quite different than western way. In the end I think it depends if the parish is receptive to the new ideas, and are you willing to "do some time" and help with the new changes, or is the parish closed off to new things, and you just want to receive stuff.
I feel i Need to do whats best for my kids so we attend the church that is 2nd closest to us because the one that was closest was just not working.
✨ I think it’s amazing and laudable if you can enter a new parish and transform it, add to it, but if the people around you the priest some of the parishioners are you know hard to deal with , then have no qualms about finding a different parish
Your life is about love and devotion to His heart Her heart so it’s great to have , you need,, a parish that supports that ✨🧡
I too am about to move (also from va) and have been wondering a lot about this same topic! I have been going to a wonderful fssp parish since I was 12, and i remember there being a huge positive difference in my family when we stopped going to our geographical parish that, while wonderful, did not have the community or devotions that kept us thriving and went to the fssp parish instead. Now that we are moving, I'm wondering if my husband, children and I should go to the diocesan parish 5 minutes from us or the diocesan latin mass that's in a beautiful old church 20 min away. I respect what the church teaches about the ordinary form of the mass but just love the latin mass so much (and no not because it's in latin lol, there is so much more to it than that), that I really would miss it and want my kids to experience it. I dont know if feeling called to go to the latin mass trumps the importance of going to your geographical parish. So we are also debating, please tell us what you decide!
I started to get involved in my church but it was too much time away from my kids I felt God tell me it was more important to raise my kids to know the lord and hopefully they will make a difference in the Catholic Church. Everyone calling is different.
i would look for traditional Catholic mass as I notice it is often filled with young families and will enrich your childrens life.
young children having friends with good values is very important.
This is so hard I feel like we parish hop so much!
So I have a church that is only 5 minutes from my house but I choose to go to one that’s 20 minutes away instead. I’m a revert/convert and when I went to the one that’s closest to me the father came up to me after mass to introduce himself and ask if I was new to the area. I told him I’d lived here for a few years but I was coming back to the Catholic Church he made a disturbed face that broke my heart and embarrassed me.
The one that is 20 minutes away has embraced me and my 4 children so warmly.
I am so sorry that he made you feel that way, That would brake my heart too. I am so glad you back home in the Catholic faith! All of heaven is rejoicing, Praise God!
We just moved from Alaska to VA coast for my husbands job and we are having a rough time finding a parish home. We do the same thing but it’s hard to find one.
I look on it like a gym. If it's across town you won't go. I don't care if it has the most beautiful mass, building, groups, people, you won't go. In my town we have a fantastic basilica with hand painted wall, pipe organ, etc, etc. But, and this is a big but, It is across a narrow draw bridge and there is no parking downtown to speak of with this being a tourist town. Go to the mass that is closest to you. You'll appreciate it so much more.
Wow I live in CA where abouts did you live? I go to a Latin mass too at times and love it!
Hi there! Great video! My family has went through this same question: which parish should we go to? We tried five different parishes and have fallen in love with the Latin Mass. We are a family of three with one son. We love the reverence of the Latin Mass with the altar rails, Gregorian chants, quiet time to pray, kneeling, and receiving Communion on the tongue. Latin Mass goers get quite a bad rep, because they say the Latin Mass is better. However, I think this makes people who go to the Norvus Ordo Masses defensive and think that they are saying they are better than them. This is not true, at least not for me and those I go to church with. The reason they say the Latin Mass is better is for three main reasons: (1) you receive more graces, (2) you receive Communion properly, (3) there is more of an awe and reverence for Our Lord in the Holy Eucharist. Now, before anyone gets defensive, please continue to read. I am a Catholic convert and went to a Norvus Ordo parish for 12 years. I was very involved in choir and youth ministry for elementary school, middle school, and high school children. I taught Faith Formation, Edge, and Lifeteen at my former parish. We had a big big problem at our parish of children receiving their sacraments and leaving the Catholic faith to pursue Protestantism. We could not figure it out at the time. We would cater to what we thought the children wanted: youth masses with guitars, drums, and contemporary worship music. However, it did not work. Many souls were still leaving the church. When I met my husband, he was a parishioner of a Latin Mass church. He invited me and I went. At first, I loved it. I feel in love with kneeling for Communion, the altar boys that had the best reverence for our Lord I had ever witnessed, the tradition, and the quiet time to pray. I tried to make the switch to the Latin Mass church, but I missed my friends at my old parish. I convinced my husband to try it, so we went for about 6 months almost exclusively. In that short time of absence from the Latin Mass, I have to admit that I felt like I was spiritually starving to death. I talked to my pastor that I had known for over 12 years and asked him if we could use kneelers to receive Communion or if he could possibly say the Latin Mass (he knows it already). He was very closed to this idea. We tried another parish in our city and the homilies were terrible. One Sunday the priest quoted Cardinal Bernardin (a child sex predator) as someone who was a holy person and worthy of following his teachings. We could not go back. We tried another parish were it was more traditional, but I still missed the communion rail and the Latin Mass. This switch for my husband was not good either. His prayer life took a nose dive and left him feeling confused. We decided as a family to go to the Latin Mass, because it is better. Not because we are better, but because the form of the Mass is. We are not better than anyone and want everyone reading this to understand that. I previously stated that the Latin Mass is better for 3 main reasons, I want to elaborate more on that. I said that at the Latin Mass you receive more graces. This is because the priest asks for more graces. The way prayer is designed by God is if you ask you will receive (Matthew 7:7). If you do not ask for the graces, you do not get them. I also said that in the Latin Mass you receive Communion properly. I say this because Communion in the hand has been condemned infallibly by Church councils, Fathers, by many Popes. Until Pope Francis, no pope would give Communion to anyone unless they received on the tongue. It has been declared infallibly that every particle of the host is the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ. If that is true, then what happens when a particle of the host falls on the ground, is trampled under foot, and is vacuumed up when the sanctuary is cleaned? Our Lord is most literally thrown out in the garbage. My third reason was there is an awe and reverence for Our Lord in the Eucharist. If you look around your average NO parish, most everyone talks during the Mass and they line up for Communion like it is a common meal. However, when you look around a Latin Mass parish, it is quiet and everyone (including the children) know Who they are in the presence of. It is true that adults should not focus on these things, but what about the children we have the responsibility to raise in the faith? They do see these things and it forms them. I want my son to be in an environment that nourishes prayer, vocations, and reverence to God. I want him to hear the beautiful Gregorian chants and know that he is not going to be taught heresy in a homily (I have been to many NO masses where they teach heresy in a homily). The sad thing is that most people do not know their faith well enough to know when a priest is teaching them incorrect doctrine that is more Protestant than Catholic. I have been there for many years, I get it. So, my short answer to your question is - no, I do not believe it is our place to change our parish. I have tried to do it and it doesn't work. I believe you should find a place that is as traditional as possible and stay there. Our children need the most rock-solid formation they can possibly receive or they will leave the faith. I have seen it happen time and time again. Honestly, the youth groups I have been in do not form correctly and are more harmful than good. This is from someone who helped with them for years. They water down the faith so much that it is unrecognizable, so the children have no problem with moving to a Protestant church or not going to church at all. I know this is a long comment, but I wanted to be as detailed as I possibly could. I love your videos and have watched almost all of them. May God bless you!
I think if I were you I'd go to the Latin mass. My nearest one is an hour away so I can't do that but I wish I could. Either way, yes - the Eucharist is the most important thing.
This is tough. My husband and I will only go to our closest parish if we can't make it to our preferred Mass either of the ordinariate or the TLM. The ordinariate is about 45 minutes away from us and the TLM is about an hour and 15 minutes away from us. We attend the Novus Ordo mass only when necessary. You are absolutely right Jesus is there and that's all that matters. The reason we prefer the other 2 parishes is 1 because the priests there spend time with the parishioners after mass for over an hour. Even our TLM priests who have to drive 2 hours to get to the church to perform the TLM. And our priest at the ordinariate mass drives an hour and a half to say mass. They are definitely serving us by doing this. The priests at our local parish don't do this. We're lucky if we get 10 minutes before they are in their cars ready to leave. The second reason is the families at the ordinariate and TLM are all so friendly and have invited us to so many things and made us feel so welcome. A lady at the ordinariate mass let us borrow 3 relics for the duration of my pregnancy. A cloth touched to the body of St. JP 2, a stone from the birth site of christ, and a 2nd degree relic of St. Gerard the patron of expectant mothers. And she gave us a bassinet for our little one coming inNovember! I've been going to our local parish for my entire life and very few people are friendly and will come and welcome you if they notice you're new. The third reason is my husband and I feel that we get better spiritual guidance at the 2 traditional parishes. While the priest at our local parish has been rude to me many times. I get it not everyone is going to like you or agree with things you wish to do. He doesn't like that I wear a chapel veil or prefer to recieve communion on my younger while kneeling. But that's not necessarily going to be at your local parish. Honestly I do try to find ways to support our local parish by being a faith formation teacher helping with other ministries and all but prefer to attend mass where I get better spiritual guidance and where the community is friendlier. There are other ways to support your local parish, but that doesn't mean you have to attend mass there if you aren't comfortable there. But again thats my opinion. Plus my husband and I want our child and future children to grow up with a solid faith that we didn't get attending our local parish. But all 3 roman rite masses are valid and the 20+ other rites such as Byzantine that are in common with Rome are valid and the wonderful thing is Jesus is there. The only thing I will caution is if you dont already know to stay away from any parishes that are sspx they are not in communion with Rome as they claim all popes after Pope John the 6th i believe aren't true popes. But i hope that helps. God bless in finding a new parish for you and your family!
Visit all the parishes near your home. Just remember that God doesn't change. Please consider a FSSP Latin Mass parish. Honestly you'd be instilling deeper Catholicism in your children. But, if a local parish is lost, and you feel that you can make an impact by your piety, then try. Genuflect, focus on the Eucharist, etc. I know God will direct you. And I trust our Holy Queen to guide you, as she always has. Oxx
We don’t attend the parish closest to us. The priest there has made several comments about children needing to leave and it’s unacceptable. On top of which he’s from Uganda and I cannot understand his homily for his accent. We actually attend several Catholic Churches due to logistics. We live in a weird area where we have to drive long distances for things. I do love your idea of changing things by getting on the parish council. 💖
I definitely believe that a person should try the closest one first. Unfortunately, some churches don't take too kindly to suggestions. Don't you dare mess with the status quo :) My sister tried for years but finally had to move onto another church. Personally, I went to the mission church that I could walk to at first. Just an old 50's building that was completely bland. I was a new Catholic and was just enjoying Mass. But....I really longed for the bells and smoke and stained glass! When my girls started attending the school attached to the main church we started attending there. The girls knew more people and sometimes they sang in the choir. I really like it much more than the other. I know we are supposed to not go to get but to give but it the beauty of the building really lends itself to the beauty of Christ and the sacredness of the Mass.
I say support your parish if at all possible. Just make sure that parish is faithful to church teaching (if they aren't, I'd go elsewhere). You can always go to Latin mass elsewhere and supplement at home. As you settle in, be the change agent. Volunteer in ministries or start one if you see a need.
Go to the Latin Mass. It is beautiful. Way more reverence for our Lord. The priests are not afraid to speak truth. It's about our souls being feed and preparing for heaven.
If you haven't been, please do consider attending a Divine Liturgy--you will fall in love. I did and almost changed rites to the Ukrainian Catholic! That said, we do parish shop as well. We are wanting a parish with a solid community with lots of young families. I need a good community for my only child to thrive in. To me, that's more important right now because she is an only child and I want to her to have friends from solid Catholic families. I don't want to isolate her in an aging parish. We are blessed because our local parish that offers the only Latin Mass in the city is thriving with young families. Good luck and I hope you find the right parish for your family :-)
I would go to the church nearest to you because maybe there are other families who are wanting to bring their children there, but none of them want to step up and make it family-friendly. The older generation will not be around forever so don't wait until its too late. If there is a church near you that has more activities, then maybe you could reach out to them and see what they are doing right and try to incorporate it into your local parish. Just my opinion and you should do what's right for your family. Love your videos!
Abby
I do go to the nearest Catholic Church. I am a single man all my life. I sit in the back of the church and do not want to be involved in all of what you are talking about. I was an EM for years. I am friendly enough, BUT i do not work with children period. I like the Priest and Deacon. I don't have Instagram.
I watch your Easter vid and I metioned Thomas is getting first communion at age 8
I live beside my parish
I want to become Catholic. What should I do?
Christian Collins That is so exciting! you can take RCIA classes at any Catholic Church then you take classes and then Easter is when you become Catholic🥰.
Hi..i want to know that...can catholic use bell at home when they pray? I just want to know🌹🌹.
yes
I go to the parish in my geographical boundary.
I join my local Knights of Columbus
Sweat heart, you need to be fed. Have you ever had spiritual direction or a regular confessor? These are things that you can use to supplement. If a parish is dying you revitalize if that is what God is calling you to. But only if. Maybe he is calling you to do that but if not then search for his will.
Latin Mass 💗