Why you should never expect a Thai to say "Thank You"!
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- This video is about my experience with my Thai Wife's family. I am speaking from my experience with her extended family. In this video I provide proof as to why you should never expect a Thai to say thank you. Your experience may be different. Thai people are among the most friendly in the world. The fact that the Thai people featured in this video didn't say thank you to me may have something to do with the fact that they are part of my extended family.
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I've yet to say 'thank you' to an ATM machine....
I feel like an ATM machine sometimes 😕
@@alphaomegadailyonly you can change that pal.
Been there done that in Thailand ! Take them to the 🚌 station next time and day Bon voyage khrap
@@alphaomegadailythat’s honestly sad to hear. I hope you find a way out
That would do my head in.. I'm with my Thai woman over 5 years and every time I drive her family members somewhere or we go for something to eat on me they always say thank you over and over to me . I suppose its the inlaws u choose, its just bad manners. Tell the wife that it upsets you.
You don’t choose your in laws
It must been the culture of my wife's family
The regret in your voice for decisions made during your time in Thailand is evident in your videos. I hope you get freedom someday
Cheers mate! Thanks for your feedback.
Stop being their slaves.
I get a lot of freedom from doing my late night videos on The Big Picture El Panorama
You dont seem very happy there bro
definitely nothing wrong with the place (Thailand) the issue is with his situation.
This is as happy as an Irishman can get.
Never put yourself in a situation where you can't pack up and leave.
Agree
I'm really sorry Dave..You're taken for granted .
Doesn't bode well for the future .😢
I try to stay away from her family.
In my experience, which has generally been positive in this way... I'd say it's more a failure in your wife's family etc. You've not been respected by them, for a long time Dave.
I think they are aware of my negativity.
@@alphaomegadaily
What do you mean Dave?
I have done so many things for my Thai wife family and NEVER NEVER NEVER one THANK YOU! it is amazing!
I feel for you mate!
No thanks for nothing.only expect more & more .like they r entitled everything u have.mind bongling.
What every thai family strives for a frang driver 😂
You are supposed to be grateful because they give you the chance to do a good deed 😁
🤣
Bottom line is that they don’t give a crap about you. Stop doing anything for these people. Just do the best you can for your son, because he’s the only one that I see showing true love towards you. Like others have said here, I hope you can get your freedom back at some stage, Dave
sweet jesus. talk about rent a crowd! When all is said and done im quite happy to be single and do whatever i want thank fuck. as regard getting thanks. it also extends to western culture, i sent a package of baby clothing and a 50 euro note to my ungrateful niece, do you think i even got a thank you text? i texted her asking if she received the package and says. oh yes shane thank u. i meant to text u. yeah of course u did. fuck that. no more freebies from me. end of!
Thai friends, service staff, strangers and fellow transport or elevator passengers nearly always thank me for holding doors, waiting for them, carrying items, being a customer, or paying for their street food. Many of them even "wai"(all ages). If I give their toddler or school age child a toy or my tip change, the adults make the child thank me. 90% or more
I feel your pain. I don't think it is a Thai thing. It is a family thing. I have done things for my family and almost never receive a thank you. Your situation made me think about my situation. Perhaps, you should tell them you want a thank you. The worst that can happen is that they don't say thank you? Right?
It's a family thing. I know many thai people who will say thank you when you do something from them.
@@svenw.6918 It is a family thing, but does that mean the thank yous we get in public are not sincere? In my experience the Thai smile and charm is a tool, used only promote potentially better outcomes for themselves with the recipient. Once they "have you" the true culutre comes out and there seems to be a lot of Chinese characteristics in Thai culutre, certainly isaan culture. And that's not a compliment!
@@ctb1977 Really not sure what that snipe was all about, but go ahead. Fill your boots.
All these pent up feelings are bound to explode one day.
The best thing to do is to stay away from the in-laws. Do not meet them, do not do any activity with them, let your wife meet them when she wants... and stay at home alone during that time. Like that, never any problem will occur !
Definitely good advice, I definitely know I wouldn’t be hanging around them for long 😊
I think I'm fairly laid back and patient but this type of thing would wind me up. You're truly a saint!
Most of us in the West were raised by parents who taught us from as young as we could talk that 'manners don't cost a thing'... i'm surprised tbh I thought that was a universal thing.
My Thai partner of 4 years has always been thankful, even for very small gestures.
Her extended family less so. In the beginning I treated the extended family to a beach resort for 3 days. Paid for 3 rooms, petrol, food and beverages. I was even asked to supply toll money for the second car we provided.
After eating breakfast together on the last day, I went to grab a coffee and came back to the table 5 minutes later. "Where's the family?'... partner's response...'oh they've already left to drive home. That's normal for Thai people '.
Not a single thankyou or goodbye from any of them.
I was shocked.
I explained to my partner that a simple thank you and a goodbye is all I expected.
My feedback message to my partner must have got back to them.
Since that event I now ALWAYS get a thank you and goodbye. Whether it's sincere or not is another question.
We all need to set reasonable expectations from the outset.
But now they are only saying thank you becasue they have been told to say it, not because they want to say it.
The issue you describe isnt Thai culture. It sounds like a bunch of in laws who dont like each other, and are all too old to be arsed hiding the fact.
If they liked you, or you were all fresh in your 20s with energy and optimism, it would be a different story
Nope, this is standard Thai culture, unfortunately 😄
I like your reflections on life in Thailand.😃
It's great to get feedback like this. Thank you. 😊
You're too good & too thoughtful for them Dave.
Think of Harry & you only, forget the rest.
You can't say that based off of one video. You really have no idea, nor do I.
@@Deadfoot-Dan
It's NOT from one video...
I've followed Dave from the very beginning of him starting out on RUclips.
Instead of assuming, maybe your comment ought to have been 'how long have you been following Dave' ?
@@keepitreal1547 Fair enough.
My lady her family always say thank you when i do something for them. My mother in law really likes me and how i take care of her daughter. Im 40 and my Lady is 32. Mom always ask me if i'm oke when we go out together. When we sit on the beach in the evening she make sure i have a chair to sit on and my favorite food will be ready. She can not speak English but always speak to me in Thai and i find it very cute. Ofcourse the thai way of showing love and gratitude is different then in the West but not a single sign of a "Thank you" have nothing to do with The Thai way.
If i would be treated like this i would stop giving any help for them and focussing on myself and the rest can #### off 😉
Absolutely agree 💯 mate
great video, very enlightening tbh mate 👍🏻
Glad you enjoyed
It's 2024 or 2567 if ur in Thailand ! Stop being a simp and respect yourself more mate and never let anyone use you as a tool
What’s a coincidence. Here in the USA, I took my Thai friend with her Thai friend for a dinner and I paid for it. After we finished dinner and we all went home. None of them said thank you. I thought that was an isolated incident. Wow….
That's rough! Thanks for sharing. All the best from the States.
Its a mix bag for me, the GF says thank you all the time. Some older generation peeps zero, some on occasion. Younger peeps often thank me. I just lowered my expectations in life and started this before I even moved out of the USA. My life has been better since.
It could be that "gaining face" is what you get for your generosity in their culture rather than gratitude.
@@ubiquitousdiabolus that's probably accurate
Please turn the fan off… it’s not cooling anyone …
Your experience is so typical. Definitely my experience. Drive for 5hrs north, pick up the family plus enough stuff to completely fill the car, get back, another 5 hours driving, and . . . Not a fuggin peep! Nothing! Bloody'ell. . .
was it 5 hrs each way!? how you know
@@xjamis Reading a clock is not so mysterious.. .
I’d agree. Thai’s don’t usually seem very appreciative of small gestures of kindness that we would typically give a quick thanks for in the USA, especially if they have any bit of age on me. With my girlfriend, I’ll often give her the “You’re welcome” after something and she will laugh and then say thank you. I’m not sure if it’s they forget the English thank you or if they just don’t give each other thanks even in Thai. I think it’s just an expectation they have of others to do things for them but it’s not my way, not my land, so I deal with it.
I'm sorry to hear your experience, nevertheless thank you very much for the video. I sincerely appreciate.
Years ago I met and married a beautiful Cubana. I noticed that there was no thank you with her family. We made two beautiful children together that have becomes adults, but not really. I had the same experience all those years ago that no one would say gracias. I take my kids out for a meal often and they are still here. Not once do they not say please and thank you at a restaurant. Eventually, even their grandparents got it. They were raised to respect
Yep, ignorance is a trait of the poorer Thai families. Living with it can be insufferable at times.
I think you're right about the ignorance.
@@alphaomegadailyisn't ignorance, intelligence, decency, respect all separate ? They learn consequence in the school yard like we all do in any country.
I know lots of poor/ less wealthy Thais that show a lot gratitude and respect. But yeah you’re probably right, it’s more common amongst the poorer Thais
@@AndiGomez-yu2dx Im not sure its really possible to "know" a lot of anyone. I find Thai's in public/ their public face likewise to be polite with good manners etc etc, but in closer proximity over time you get to know reality. Not something you can do with a "lot" of people,as no one has the time to intimitly know loads of individuals. Many Isaan folks have pretty difficult lives, due to unnecessarily poor education which I find a tragic. As a result they dont have time for good manners.
If I make some major purchase I’ll get a thank you. A ride to the temple probably not. A smile and friendliness - yes.
They may pick up on your bad mood and avoiding contact. They may not have manners. Old Thais “expect” their kids to do for them. Once you’ve been married awhile, they start pushing the boundaries on what they can expect from you. Anything you do regularly will become expected and less appreciated. That’s actually human nature, unfortunately.
Having lived in Thailand prior, very rare I would receive a thank you, also a compliment, hence now I’m planning on going to the Philippines
I've a feeling that if it wasn't for your little son there, you'd have been long gone by now......😏
He's not just my son. He's my friend
In Thailand or any Thai community abroad - it's the same everywhere: It's them 'versus' the one - usually married - farang who is conditionally accepted to work and/or pay, to be 'generous' on their terms, of course 🙂
This is the downside of Thailand. The huge divide between Thai and foreigner, it can never be bridged. But God knows many of us try.
Remember, they will miss you more than you will miss them!!! Remind them of this from time to time. It's important to "ration" support, in any form, in this situation. Sadly, I, too, have been the recipient of ingratitude and selfishness from my Thai "friends!" When you pull back and let it be known that you have "options," you will notice a definite change in behavior. Keep up the great work 👍🏽
Hi Dave. I believe why your in-laws don't thank you because they see you as a family member and it's your duty to do thankless deeds for them. The example would be similar to children not thanking their parents for making breakfast, lunch, and dinner because they see it as a duty of being their parents.
Interesting different angle of view to ponder. All we see is the videos and not the interaction life off camera.
Lots of kids say thank you to their parents, mine did.
Fuck that. I’d be pissed too. I always say thank you to every bolt driver when I’m in Thailand. But then I’m Irish ☘️
I've been living in Thailand for 4+ years and gratitude, or the lack thereof, is my chief complaint.
Uhhh...cause they are rude bastards. No need to analyze it beyond that. "Please and ThankYou are pretty much universal.
Thank you Harry 😊
Put on an orange robe....that will definitely change the routine 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fun video naughty Harry 😂😂😂😂❤❤❤👍👍👍👍
He takes after me
My wife's family never say think you to me and never talk to me in 3 years
Then stay the heck away from them.
Then they won't ask for help. You're lucky.
you thikn they cant tell you're upset about something they dont know what, they just want to get away if you enjoyed it, they'd thank you every time
If you didn't have a son, I am sure you would be gone.
Thank you...
Went out with Thai Girls a few times, never ever said any of them "Thank You" or "appreciate your time" etc. Not a big fan of this attitude, Up for a Pint next days? Should I drop you an e-mail?
To see your facial expressions is hilarious. Not to receive acknowledgment for good deeds is tuff to swallow.
Start making an exit plan old bean .I had 10 years of that Thai family crap .Now single and free Thank God .
Great advice. When I date Thai women, I make sure to never get involved with their families unless they’re very well educated.
My thais girls family say thanks and appear to be grateful for the things I do. I hope it gets better for you.
Are you providing a lot of financial support ? that could be the reason, but just a guess?
@@AndiGomez-yu2dx surprisingly no, but we've only been together just a under a year.
the shopping cart😁🤣
I could understand your frustration, it is just the "new normal" you have to get used to. One thing I completely respect is how families take care of their elderly and don't just stick them in a nursing home like the U.S..
I agree that there is almost no social welfare to speak of in Thailand
They would if they could. Two parents have to work to stay afloat here in the US.
Stop complaining. And just say no, they use as an ATN over there, you've known that it's all about your money. That's the only reason why they put up with you, your money and what you do for them.
Even though your inlaws seem to provide you with quite a few materials (mostly negative) for this channel, however i dont think what you have been going through is worth the pain. We only get what we negotiated for. You could do much better and i hope you do much better.
I think you got a good deal mate. Lack of gratitude is an easy price to pay rather than caring for the old dear full time.
My way of dealing with it is give as you get
Im pretty sure it has nothing to do with being Thai or not
Yep, I think they’re just rude and ungrateful people
The word gratitude exists in Thai, they don’t show it because they don’t respect you, Thai men don’t put up with that. You are the husband ergo head of the family. Next time they pull that stunt as they get out the car just tell them, mai tong greng jai and watch their faces. Act like a doormat expect to be treated like one.
Thai's get all sad and hurt when you make them loss face so if they don't thank you for your help, next time anything comes up refuse and tell them it's offensive in your culture to not say thank you and you're sad (noi jai). Yeah it's acting like a baby but that's the language they speak out here and they respond to it better than face to face confrontations like adults.
Thanks for letting me know
I know these manners as well...think it is sort of a rural thing...
I tell them i expect a thank U according to modern western common sense...
that hits the fan....mostly
Yes, just say no next time and the next time also.
u have such a lovely family!! I would be very grateful!!
Thank You!!! I know how you feel. I've been providing for my Filipina Wife who I know gives money to her family. I don't care because we do have a great life. But they could say kiss my butt or THANK YOU for being around the last 37 years!!! Hahahaha Please relax and breathe.
There's fundamental issues here of life. I wouldn't dump this in thai culture, just the scenario does not portray a good future of your family circle interactions.
Feels "off" somehow, unless they are all really tired or something. Maybe get out of the car and ask for hugs when people leave would work. If they shy away them grab them in a bear hug.
At least the Thai family are not talking about you as if you are not there.
Of course there are words in Thai that equate gratitude or to express gratitude.
On top of that there is even the physical gesture of the "wai" to go along with it/reinforce it - which doesn't even exist in farang society.
And there are words and expressions for "ungrateful" also.
This again shows your complete lack of knowledge of Thai again. Even without knowing Thai, why would you just assume there are no words for that ?
That being said, of course they're an ungrateful bunch ! And I really understand your frustration, feeling agitated, etc... Some simple words of gratitude and acknowledgement of your help to them would make all the difference.
You nailed it! I have the same experience. Guess they think all Faran have unlimited money to spend. Kind of ungrateful.
As they say back home your only a blow in and always will🙂 by the way did you stroke that shopping trolley from lotus🤔🤣.
Great question. The shopping trollies are supplied by the condo management
Im 34 from England and really enjoying your video's.
I like Asian women but i wouldn't marry one
I would have seen this attitude immediately and never got involved tbh
Love your Videos, interesting to here about your thia life....I'm ages with you,,,and I couldn't and wouldn't do what you have, God love you, and I really Do Wish you all the best, I do...but I get frustrated with you....take care.
Thank you so much!
(1) never marry unless there is a compelling and good reason to.
"Love" is not enough reason to marry.
(2) don't have children, there is no really good reason to have children. And any half-decent reason to have children also relies on a serious gamble.
A child blocks your escape routes.
(3) IF you marry, you get the in-laws as extra. So not only check out your partner, but also all the in-laws that come with it AND how your partner deals with their in-laws. Because some Thai people may be capable to control them and keep the at bay (but don't count on it)
Absolutely, that's true. I've dated women in their early 30s here, and various family members are always trying to control them.
12:45 wow
Alpha Whinger
Is that a Dalmatian coffee mug?
Thailand is for visiting now and then permanent life there is now over from what I can see
Dave you are a good man. I am sorry I could not do that. I wouldn't be chauffeuring anybody around. To get a thank you or please from anybody these days. It is hard. Everybody takes you for granted.
You're right, even here in the states it's hard to receive a sincere thanks when doing something for others.
You’re their ATM maybe
Its more than that. Money aside many still expect and air of entitlement.
I would not do 10:03 it.I had something like that.And that is stress they make you have.
When they are going someplace they going to show me the way.
And they drive their car like it is a race.
One time they even was so in racemode.That they took a wrong car.Where suitcase they packed was in on car.But they run out in the morning and took a different car.
And told me to follow them.I turned on my gps.And drove in my way.The drove like hell to be first.
Then suddenly the called.If we could borrow them clothes and all they needed.Because we take wrong car.They not even check if they had anything.
And always they not have money to pay for a meal.So i stop going with them.And said we not want to go.After that they never asked again about anything.So just say "no i have other plans".Then problem solved.
They will then find a way belive me.
😂😂😂😂😂
I don't talk to the taxi driver when he drives so slow 😊 (just joking, but maybe they could be unconfortable feeling à kind of disgrace having to depend on you.. Whatever? you should have maved to Hollywood ❤ I moved from Canada to France and I still don't feel at home)
Strange cultural quirk... 💯👍
Do they truly lack gratitude?
Her family never say thank you!
I'd say it's more that Daves wife's family are disrespectful towards Dave.
I.m.o he deserves better
😎🌴 Well at least they provide you with interesting material for your RUclips channel.
That's a great way to look at it.
9:48 had to laugh 😂
They never tip either...I am going to do the same as the Thais...No please or thank you..and never tip..
Maybe they dont like it when you yell loudly?
Did you not hear the volume of their voices?
If you were Thai, do you think your extended family would have thanked you? Or is it simply a cultural difference, with less emphasis on expressing thanks compared to Western norms?
I think they just take me for granted
@@alphaomegadailyjust say your busy next time and don't have time or even tell them you're not feeling like doing this again for them.
Watch how thais interact with eachother, plenty of thank yous all around.
Definitely not my experience!!! Sorry man :(
Don't really have that problem, ( lots of others ) always seem to get a Wai and a thank you
I think it's about his family dynamic. They don't think it's required to thank him because it's basically his job in their eyes.
@@HairyPixels yes you could be right
Thank you for that tidbit of information, no ka or krub spoken to you, that is shame.
As I try to tell people, diversity is not a strength .
Sorry friend, but for them you are just an outsider
Dude, take a deep breath and relax… and check your expectations.
Dont do it again..Make a point of saying THANK YOU when they get out the car. Its funny they seem to say thank you when your waving a 1000 baht note in the air. lol
Casting errors living together ...
Hey get over it man. Your culture is no different. People in general tend to be ungrateful or seem unthankful or forgetful when the gift or deed is not solicited by themselves.
It's not worth you making a RUclips video about it, blaming the Thai culture,
By the same token, you wouldn't make a RUclips video describing how grateful everybody was. Would you?
Gong by the response I would say it was worth it.
Don’t watch if it don’t interest you . Simple.
I was just curious to see what a foreigner had to say about it. Sorry you’re not getting the recognition you’re expecting. น่าสงสาร ขอโทษครับ
Thai version of The Whittaker's 😂
Haha a bit harsh.
CALL THE BUFFALO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Not being funny but do they like you because my partner thanks me for the slightest thing plus the villiagers bow to me if I help them. Take care pal they not playing you..... Not nice ‼️😔😔😔😔