You can only feel good about yourself if you imagine -better- prettier people being hated 😅 Wooooof maybe just work on existing without this weird insecurity, your compass is broken
Pretty privilege is such a drastic example of people being chronically online. Beauty is only that important when watching people in a screen go viral for lip syncing. All the pretty girls o knew irl were as miserable as the rest of us
I mean, it definitely exists, but your take is completely right. If you're not on Tiktok, most of this angst about aesthetics and stuff isn't even much of a thing!
Yes and no- it's still on tv, billboards, and the projection from other people. Bringing this up just to remind us that this issue existed before current times. But tiktok definitely made it so much worse
Nah, I’m a dude and my life has been easy mode and I’m like a 6.5 😂 They might be miserable but they will get more opportunities in life than you will, just a fact.
Pretty privilege in person manifests when people are more inclined to hold the door open for you, stay out of your path while walking, and generally just being more considerate to you when they’d be indifferent or even rude to people who they don’t see as attractive. Usually this is all subconscious biases playing out and don’t make the hugest differences on your life like pretty privilege allows on Tiktok, but I’d say it’s still prevalent in person
So I’m a dark skinned black woman with a BIGGG afro, a hourglass body (I’m 5’10 and 180 lbs), and I attend a well-known PWI. I was always taught to speak properly and be intelligent by my father and taught to act feminine and be humble by my mother, who are both white. I also love mainstream pop from the 2010s, romance movies, hiking, and gardening. Growing up, people called me many things: “Whitewashed.” “Oreo.” “Candace Owens wannabe.” These are from other black peers who have their own perception of me. Because I hold pretty privilege and because I am kind to others, many people see me as a dark-skinned Regina George. But here’s the kicker, I have met white adults who tell me along the lines of, “Oh, you’re so well spoken! See, you’re one of the good ones. Dressed well, act right, I wish they’re more like you.” Pretty privilege exists, but for black women it can be a double edged sword. Thank you for speaking on this topic.
Be for real. I bet you talk out of your nose and think you sound "proper". Proper English doesn't even exist. Stop pretending like black and white people don't have different dialect. Stop trying to be victim. Maya Angelou was very well spoken and still sounded like a black woman.
Using the opportunity to be early here to share info i learnt in art history in uni : 1. Cellulite was invented as a problem by a dude who wanted to sell cream to women. 2. It is visible on statues. Why ? Because it was once sexy as hell. And by that, i purposely mean : it was one of the most characteristical traits of an ADULT woman's body. 3. It also is visible on paintings. Maybe not the classical type, since the point was to smooth everything and represent gods, as close as humans were able to semi-perci e them, but still. Ex : check out realism's precurssor who gave a middle finger to classics and built his own movment through the influence he left in art : Gustave Courbet (France). 5. Hips. And hip-dips. Once again, look at art. LOOK AT APHRODITE SCULPTURES AND PAINTINGS. Look at "La source" from Courbet (yeah, i like this dude's vibe). We always forget that what we're surrounded by is idealized. May that be ancient art from around the Mediterranean sea, or photoshoped advertisment. These people's jobs are to make realistic things look unberably (?) pretty. And yet : 6. Look around. How many people you'd never see on catwalks are happy and pretty ? Or beautiful ? Or anything ? How many have the same face, or body ? Do you see people you admire with your body shape, that seem confident as hell ? Why not fake it until you feel like you make it, at least once a month ? What, and who makes you feel ugly ? Where does it come from ? Is it justified ? Does it actually have anything to do with you at all, or is it projection ? Do you know what creates that bump, curve, spot or whatever in X place of your body that you dislike ? Is it a muscle ? Why is it there ? Last thing : i can garantee you you'd be fun to draw for a few people, and maybe, maybe, you'd love a book character if it looked like you ♡ F beauty norms, make your own. They just keep changing anyways, and our bodies know better.
Yeah but the reason big women were attractive back then was for birthing reasons and association with wealth. Both of those things are different now. Poverty is now associated with overweight people and birthing kids is not as difficult or important
@@FencingMessiah but pretty much every adult woman who’s not visibly underweight has cellulite to some extent. Serena Williams has cellulite, despite being one of the most successful female athletes and buff as heck
@@_kaleido Serena Williams is successful for athletic reasons she's not an heiress or model. She built that herself by putting her body on the line so she's not held up as great because she's gorgeous but because of what she accomplished coming from where she came from. What everyone mostly has is not necessarily attractive sometimes rarity is attractive like with eye color, breast size, butt size, above average penis ect.
the thing with “pretty privilege” is that it’s fleeting. aging comes for us all, and when you’re no longer the 20-something “hot young thing”, your pretty privilege starts to disappear. it truly is a pointless endeavor
I’m 45 and every photo on my page is from 2024. I’ve been married for 13 years… the privilege I get in my professional setting and out in the world just keeps increasing. It’s actually surprising that at this age I’m still benefiting more than ever
@@6ftNaturalBeauty at the end of the day, youth will always be valued over everything. people will always value a woman in her early twenties over a middle aged woman. that’s my point. also, you got married when you were young. it’s a lot harder to date when you’re considered “past your prime” as a woman
@@coolchameleon21...except that I'm 46 and completely agree with the first commenter. 🤷🏾♀️ I've always been a beautiful woman, but now...babyyyy. LOL. The amount and quality of the perks I get now are staggering. Plus, some of the connections and relationships from my past, many of which have been augmented by more wisdom and maturity, are now bearing amazing fruit. Also...a lot of us don't age like milk, especially if you're melanated. There are older women who have pretty privilege too, well into their senior years. I don't know why you'd think there's not, unless you give credence to these silly dudes out here talking sh!t on a mic. Older folks have s*x, date, and flirt, too. It's just that the privilege turns more into a show of respect and deference rather than catcalls (still happens 😩🙄) and getting invited into the VIP (happened last time I went to a club for a show...I was 42). Soooo, yeah. We don't up and turn into dust at 30. That's actually a really ageist take, and you should rethink it. Oh, and I've had NO problems getting a date. They're handsome, younger men who are successful and intelligent. However, my heart belongs to my first love and I'm pretty sure I'm about to start the greatest love story of my life with him. We're good here in 40+ Island!
I’ve noticed when people lose weight. They personally FEEL better so they become a lot warmer in vibes and that’s why ppl may treat them better. If you feel better it’s usually infectious and others will feel better around you as well.
Maybe she assumed too much that losing weight equates to being pretty. Maybe she relied too heavily on the idea that simply losing weight would put her into a pretty privileged category?: maybe she confused thin privilege with pretty privilege
I have dark circles under my eyes . It is genetics. But I got called raccoon all my life. And I was thought why is it okay for a raccoon to have it but not me😂😂.
Me too, but past elementary/middle school, it was absolutely never thought of again...🤷🏾♀️ I think because I decided it wasn't going to define me it never did again..😊
I'm sorry, but many of the people complaining about the bad side of being pretty would never choose to be ugly if they could because,even with the disadvantages being pretty is better than being ugly
I didn't even know my femininity was taught so when I lost it from abusive experiences and noticed how my outward appearances was jarring to people when I showed my internal self that's when I realized beauty isn't everything. It's the whole performance, skinny, pretty, white as possible, young as possible and that means in appearance, attitude, interests, expression, facial posturing. It's bs.
@@Sinthecity actually it is. The prettiest women are skinny. Like in early 2000 Stacey Dash Halle Berry Vanessa Williams Cassie Mya Toni Braxton Before that Dorothy dandridge Josephine Baker All were considered dymes and all were skinny. Pretty girls are skinny. Curvy girls are just called Thick Being Thick is second best to being skinny and pretty.
Pretty can also mean you get treated badly by both men and women. Jealous friends that want to see you fail, Guys that want to date you but also insecure dating a woman that other men find attractive. Some people assume you will reject them so don't approach you or think you didn't need to develop a personality. Men on first dates have said they would find me to intimidating to approach in a bar and you get guys that deliberately ignore you so you don't think your all that. Sometimes id like to be invisible, I dressed down for years to avoid men looking at me. I think if you are naturally pretty then you are blessed especially if white. But still inner beauty really does win, Personality and kindness should be valued above the outer cover because nobody will stick around a pretty person eho is ugly inside and empty.
Funny how you mention that. I also had an experience on the first date where a guy who was quite handsome, charming, and seemed very sure of himself admitted that if it weren’t for the app we met on, he’d be to scared to approach me first due to fear of rejection. Which surprised me because I was extremely nervous and jittery the whole time (mostly because it was my first date with anyone) and he had picked up on that but still felt nervous because of my looks. And another poor guy I went out with was being heckled by some passerby’s who didn’t think he was attractive enough to be on a date with me. And usually i get along with women and they generally don’t have an issue with me when they realize I’m open hearted. But the ones who did have an issue with me were either white women who couldn’t stand a WOC being a threat to their confidence or other WOC (especially those with lighter skin or white passing features) who internalized being unattractive due to being WOC yet saw me (someone with brown/tan skin and ethnic features no less) doing well in life.
@@alyssapinon9670 i knew white girls in high school who were the same way. i think maybe it has something to due with how when some white people take things from us they’re able to just run with it. but then seeing a woc living her best life with what’s always been hers naturally probably pisses them off lol. we always want what we don’t have:(
@@alyssapinon9670 i knew white girls in high school who were the same way. i think maybe it has something to due with how when some white people take things from us they’re able to just run with it. but then seeing a woc living her best life with what’s always been hers naturally probably pisses them off lol. we always want what we don’t have:(
To fannita nevered changed only physically. it's just that when you have pretty privileged you walk on a tight rope of what you can and can't say. When you're overweight people allow you to be mean/funny out of pity.
@@beautyininsanity421well it’s some level of privileged cause you can’t get away things that a pretty person can’t. Privilege isn’t always for the elite.
Trust me, if you are “pretty” or naturally gorgeous or beautiful, you will not have to “chase” anything. You wake up, splash water on your face, shake your hair out… walk out the door and have the benefits work in your favor
The benefits And the costs. I have female friends that run from average cute to outright 10s. Many of the 8s, 9s, and 10s have a Lot of problems that many women who are jealous of them don't think about. It goes beyond bitter, envious women that make it very hard to find friends that aren't cheering for you to succeed and aren't secret haters trying to destroy them. They All have these problems to an insane degree And having to deal with not being taken seriously, being stalked and put on weird pedestals they never asked for, having female bosses purposely trying to screw you over and male bosses saying insane things to you, having random people touching you, and reacting to you in extreme ways regardless how nice you're trying to be in telling people you're not interested. And that's just Level One, ground floor stuff. A couple of the 9s and 10s actually have to act dumb to give others a little peace in being in their presence and the meanness they come up with to get over the fact that they can Stop Construction and Traffic just going to get coffee. These aren't all White women. They're Black, Latina, Asian and Mixed. They may see some privilege. But they see so much craziness that can often turn into Dangerous situations others just can't fathom
@@purplelove3666 Whaddya, crazy? haha. No, of course not. Who would. I'm just saying that privileges comes with sacrifice and it's not all happiness and fun with people just praising your beauty. That's all. And to add to what you said, average and unattractive people wouldn't care about the downsides to be beautiful either
As the stereotype “pretty light skin woman”. ive had more opportunities through life due to how I look but I’m still the single friend out of my group. When I tell people I’ve never dated b4 its always a shock. My guy friends tell me that since I have pretty privilege a man’s first thought of me “shes definitely taken” or “she gets hit on almost everyday. Why bother” that being said, guys are intimidated by me or don’t want to bother with someone who’s that pretty or makes them feel like a 5 not a 10🤷🏽♀️
Omg I could’ve written this myself. I def benefit from colorism esp in the black community but also just in general. But I’ve been single my whole life and never get hit on. I’m sure my RBF doesn’t help the angry black girl stereotype either
I've had the exact same experience. My dating life only exists because I walk up to men and make it known I'm interested, tell them we should hang out, etc. I'm currently on a "cleanse" from approaching/seeking out men and my dating life has grinded to a halt. I'm the only one out of my group of non-Black friends I grew up with that isn't married with kids. Pretty privilege is truly a blessing and a curse.
So….. Let me preface by saying that dating a man ain’t all that (I’ve been single since birth, so take that quote as you will, lol). Now, back to the content of my response: I have a friend who is tall, thin and well shaped in all the right places, and is just GORGEOUS (model-esque beautiful). She’s also very dark skinned. She gets hit on ALL the time. So, I never understood the concept of men being scared, because, baby, I’ll tell you right now, they’re not scared of her. I’ve seen it. Beautiful women are pursued. She’s beautiful outside and inside, too. She’s such a prize and it’s sad she keeps on choosing losers to be with when she has it all.
This was a great video. I would love to see your take on the looksmaxxing movement that has taken off with red pillers and incels. It is horrifying to go through the comment section. They too are obsessed with changing their looks but their motivations seem to be driven by eugenics. Knowing boys men are staring into the screens at PLS gods is disturbing. They are looking at jawlines like young women used to compare and critique thin models in magazines.
Well it’s about time , woman have been going through it for generations. So it’s males turn to finally understand how trying to fit the aesthetic for the male gaze has lead to many young woman to older adults self hating and not feeling good enough . And man continue to drive thst by consistently tell women you are done at age 25 . Misogyny hurts right ?
@@Goddess_InfinityI understand where you’re coming from, but the promotion of looksmaxxing isn’t gonna solve anything either, bc its the same side of the coin, still promoting misogyny but also hurting innocent men. I remember I joined a looksmaxxing group chat because I thought it was just ways to “improve your looks” and ended up shaming myself into an eating disorder where I was even using substances (mainly nicotine, cannabis, and alcohol) at one point to not feel hungry. Those groups also promote only seeing women as objects to be pursued rather than people, and that not having your feeling reciprocated by a woman is an automatic self-failure rather than just by chance. Also this is on the assumption that every man is into women, which in and of itself opens discussion about society’s heteronormativity, but I digress. Looksmaxxing is just as bad as the “pretty privilege” movement imo.
@@Goddess_Infinity It is an based in the the eugenics movements and the language of that movement. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of men holding other men to the standards they have applied to women since the beginning of time. However this is weird and reinforcing racist views of how the world should look. One guy posted a Na. Z. I. Youth poster he found and marked up the face to show the measurements of a perfect face. It is the association of looks to race to worth. Also they are not being any nicer to women. Once again it is a reinforcement that a woman’s value lies in her looks and reproductive value all while using pseudoscientific from racists to back their beliefs.
What I always try to remember is that some people will find me attractive and some people won’t and that is completely okay. Like not everyone that meets me is going to like me and the same applies to me when I meet certain people and THATS OKAY. This was also helped by me getting off the social media and just thinking my own thoughts lol
As a conventionally attractive white woman it’s still a double edged sword if you don’t fit in with the standards to a t. I have ADHD (diagnosed) and probably some other neurodivergency (undiagnosed as of yet) so I speak in a very monotone voice naturally and have a flat affect. It’s extremely jarring for people and I really do my best to be animated and engaging, but there’s times where I really can’t hold it back and it has bitten me in the butt a number of times. People want to be my friend or approach me for opportunities which is amazing but often times they feel shut down by my demeanor and I experience really nasty consequences for that from both men and women, possibly worse than if I never would have been approached at all. I would never compare my experiences to WOC, of course. I probably get away with coming off mean more than a more marginalized person. But I also think the entire concept of pretty privilege is really mind bending because it definitely does have advantages but it also can have some pretty heavy consequences as well. I really question if it’s real or it’s just another example of racism and benevolent sexism. Or perhaps the consequences are just plain misogyny since men can also have pretty privilege, but I wouldn’t have been put in those situations without being pretty so it’s just honestly a bit confusing to place as a privilege which is separate from race, gender, sexuality, ability, and any other intersectionalities.
I came here to write something like this but you worded it more eloquently than I could. People love the idea of being around us then pull a 180 when they realize we’re weird. I feel like women are far less accepting than men, though. EDIT: also I had a period of time where I had no idea I was attractive because women are so mean. Like I would be genuinely confused when I got male attention lol.
One of the things that this video highlights for me is that if you are woman you just can't win and it sucks. And yes, especially women of color... Skinny women are mean and fat women are sad is a tired philosophy for all of us and I'm sick of it.
TLDR: People hate pretty people but like the advantages they can get from being around someone who is or by having it. Most people are only seeking to gain from them. People don’t take unconventionally attractive people seriously and give leniency to their behaviors as well. Society is confusing and weird and whiteness and skinniness is glorified to the max economically and socially. Pretty people tend to be praised for their ability to produce “healthy children” and tend to be over sexualized from a young age and at the same time people are only around you for the benefits of attention for being seen with you not necessarily for who you actually are. Unconventionally attractive women are avoided and people feel bad for them so they flood them with compliments but since they don’t get the benefit of attention they’re expected to be smart or funny or athletic or something else.
In the broader view the beauty industry is lucrative. It’s always been lucrative to sell to black overweight women especially since it’s so deviant from the norm of whiteness. You’re not actually ugly just broke bcs of classism.
This isn't true. While there's a degree of jealousy beautiful ppl are looked up to by other as smarter and more capable via the halo effect. People also feel more of a need to help them and provide them with opportunities
I've been pretty close to the white beauty standard my whole life. People will still find something to pick on you for. For me, it was my weight. I wasn't fat as a kid, but I wasn't stick thin either. I didn't realize I wasn't fat until I actually became fat. People are also more likely to want to tear you down more because they're jealous. Pretty privilege does exist but it isn't all sunshine and roses.
Who cares about beauty? It doesn’t last forever no matter how much work you get. Taking care of your body will get you better results. And the most important qualities once beauty is gone is your heart, your personality, and your marketable skills and knowledge. Those last forever and yet so many people choose to only invest in marketing their beauty instead because they’re duped by the media to glorify superficiality and appearances.
I’ve had pretty privilege most of my life, and I really wish people realised it’s just social credit that you are fully expected to repay. You have to be pretty at all times or you’ll be looked down on for letting yourself go. You have to be nice to everyone who ‘compliments’ you regardless of what they said or what they want from you. No matter how smart, educated, degreed, or qualified you are, people will subtract iq points from you. If you ever dare feel good about yourself, you’re vapid and shallow. People feel very entitled to your time, to touching you , and god forbid you set a boundary
I think that some things will be kinda more socially acceptable when someone is attractive. But yeah, if it’s like a job interview, they are (hopefully) going to hire the most qualified, not the most attractive. Edit: y’all do know that I said “hopefully” when talking about job interviews right? Obviously some businesses are going to hire using pretty privilege, but HOPEFULLY they don’t
This seems incredibly naive to me. You guys really don't think that, like, being hairy as a woman, and having bad skin, and a lazy eye and f'd up teeth hurt your chances in a job interview? What do you guys think people mean when they say that pretty people have privilege? It's not that it's impossible to get a job if you aren't conventionally attractive, but it 1000% is being weighed during an interview. If you're up against someone equally qualified to you and they're gorgeous and you're ugly, the pretty person is getting it. That's reality, man.
As someone who wants to go into child education, pretty privilege is at work not just in the hiring process (since they think an attractive person is more competent and trustworthy with children) but in the way children interact with you. Kids internalize that beauty = virtue from a young age (look at Disney movies for example). And yeah, most kids aren’t going to like a pretty teacher who is mean to them. But there is more excitement and maybe trust when a teacher is kind and attractive than if a teacher is kind and unattractive.
So your take is that those things only effect your chances at a minority of jobs, then? Because that also is self evidently not true. Being hairy as a woman, and having a lazy eye, and f'd up teeth, and bad skin, are going to effect your chances at getting pretty much ANY job. It's not as if it's just shallow places like Hooters who care about these things. It's just that for most people these are unconscious, implicit biases, rather than explicit hiring requirements. This privilege, or lacking this privilege, effects nearly every facet of one's life in our modern society. If you don't see it, it's likely because you have it - just like every other privilege.
Most of us just want to get through life with as few hassles as possible. As a 53 y/o woman who fits the attractiveness standard but wasn’t 10, I’m just now realizing that I had it made. I had my morsel of privileges-enough to slide by. I was never bullied for any reason having to do with my looks-either for jealousy because I looked too good or ugliness. My looks helped me but I couldn’t exactly coast through life on them. I used to roll my eyes at beautiful women who complained that their looks were a curse. I would think Now if I enjoyed the privileges that came with my above average looks, surely you had a golden ticket being drop dead gorgeous. Now I see it. Too much of a good thing can bite you.
Pretty privilege def does "work in your favor" depending on the community. For so much of my life I thought I was unattractive. I was a tall black girl in a snooty PWI in manhattan. It wasn't until my freshman year of college that I started getting approached and told I was pretty. Granted, my school is still a PWI but with a very large black student body. I also lowkey glew up a bit by my senior year of high school lol. I was now being told that I look like a model, asking if I was a model, or if I would consider it. I am model tall and model skinny with some curve in the back (can thank my jamaican genes lol) and it didn't really dawn on me until others pointed it out that I am to an extent conventionally attractive. The downside to this realization tho was my newfound hyperfixation of always needing to look good, or wondering if I looked pretty enough. I was becoming obsessed with attention, these positive new benefits (free food, drinks, or other treatment), and finally being "one of the pretty girls." If anything at some point I had a more negative self-perception, but my ego boosted insanely from all this new attention and drove my arrogant behavior. Almost 2 years later I've found more confidence and beauty within myself through my own appreciation. Pretty privilege may exist, but let's not allow it to drive our behavior or how we feel about ourselves.
Great video! A lot of good points and prospective. I’ve been made fun of for my nose and hips most of my life. I’m 34 now and still get comments on my nose from people online. It big, crooked, and has a bump. I consider a nose job some days still. But I chose years ago not to get one because I was afraid I’d miss my natural nose. At this point in my life I try my best just to be myself and accept how I look. I know I’m not conventionally attractive but I like how I look.
Pretty privilege is bs or maybe i am just not pretty enough. Yes, it gets you some things once in a while but the amount of men hitting on you (bosses, strangers, friends etc) are making it a "pretty danger" more so then a plus.
That happens regardless if you’re pretty or ugly. If you own a vulva and labia and present as a woman, men will target you and make your life a living hell.
I’m an olive-skinned Mediterranean with dark features. Depending on the season I’m cappuccino color or a very dark bronze. I’m unambiguously European. I’ve been mistaken for Colombian, Middle eastern and Brazilian. I get pretty privileges from all ethnicity. In the USA, it is predominantly white so it makes sense that those whites uphold Eurocentric beauty standards. When I fly oversees to the motherland, I don’t have the same privileges because although it’s a European nation, they uphold Eastern European beauty standards. They prefer tall, thin blondes with blue or green eyes 🤷🏻♀️
What’s your experience being pretty? Of course no need to answer, but it feels a bit like an elephant in the room of this essay. And it just seems like an interesting thing to explore and discuss out loud, especially because RUclips relies so heavily on Pretty Privilege. Its successful content creators are much prettier on average. And to be honest, the first time I clicked on one of your videos, I probably first thought, “Wow, she’s pretty” then, “Oh and that title is pretty interesting.” (And then the video WAS genuinely thoughtful!) But by putting your face in your thumbnails, it seems to be a subtle acknowledgment that there’s a benefit to showing it. Whereas other less attractive content creators might choose to present their content without their face (or at least their face in the thumbnail). Again, don’t mean to be awkward here, but I just think it could be an interesting addendum to an already interesting essay.
No problem🌸. I grew up in an all white area, so I was never seen as pretty. No one told me I’m pretty (besides family and close friends of course) until I was in college. This is where I was able to be around more black people. That was when I really realized, oh I’m kinda pretty, but even then only to an extent because colorism is a real thing. I acknowledged I am seen as pretty to people of color, but from my experience growing up around white people, I’m aware that I don’t really receive “pretty privilege” from the broader society. So I never had the mindset that my beauty would get me ahead, or provide me with the ability to act however I wanted. Hope that makes sense 🙏🏾
@@tinyseythat makes me sad that you were never seen as pretty growing up. I went through similar things as a kid, and was always viewed as the ugly kid. I know how much that affected me, and I don't mean to assume, but I know stuff like that doesn't feel nice. It's sad to, considering how you legitimately are stunning 🥺
@@tinysey I believe this because you have no reason to lie, but you’re not average pretty. So it’s kinda perplexing to me to actually fathom. Since we’re being honest. But, I get it. I’m black as well and seem biased in my response
@@tinysey Thank you for sharing this. I know that can be hard to express out loud, especially on the internet. And yes, it’s strange how much perceptions of one’s “prettiness” can change from place to place and culture to culture. It’s kind of like exchange rates with money (“My black prettiness ‘dollar’ is worth 70 cents in white prettiness currency”). I had a similar childhood experience to you, and I agree as adults, we tend to still hold onto how pretty we were made to feel when we were young. Anyway, thanks for responding!
Yeah there obsessed with the myth. I think there are models that are not good looking but get modeling jobs. I don’t think its black and white. Also it’s subjective, I can think a model is all that and someone thinks the opposite. Also people are going to have different opportunities that’s life. We all are going have different experiences and be different.
I learned everyone has their time! The last few years ive gotten the most compliments and good treatment then ive ever had in my life....im in my 30s, my skin suffers less breakouts, ive grown my hair the longest its ever been, i dress how I want, andddd ive accepted my flaws which I think shows.... but the attention shift is crazy! Everyone looks at me even if I was with my ex, i was getting called to the front of lines, and made money streaming just sitting there.... I thank God that it came now instead of the opposite of goong from hot to not bexause I bet thats harder to accept.... once my time is up lol I will manage
You are killing it, no doubt you would. You may even follow suit with penguinz0 (Consistency, fanbase, success) Even taking a note from his book, may give you ideas Godspeed !
I love this point of view. While “pretty” is something I’ve always heard, I know that I’m a black woman so I’m pretty to black people but to others I don’t consider it a privilege. Also, consider the amount of sexual assault that “pretty” women endure. Yes, ALL people experience sexual assault. However, for some “pretty” women, it’s so commonplace that no longer becomes a big deal.
the "scandinavia girl aestethic" just feels really iffy to me.. despite us being predominantly white people, we do have people of colour over here too, and they are also just as much a part of the scandinavian culture as anyone in scandinavia.. For people in America or globally, to allude to saying otherwise is only gonna make the people who exclude poc inside of scandinavia feel validated in their believes.
I hate it. Its foreginers fetishizing their personal idea of nordic people. Its literally the same as people thinking South Korean Idols, their music videos and performance outfits are are an accurate representation of South Korean culture/fashion/lifestyle. Its so dumb, it’s so weird, and its honestly very disrespectful to make a culture, a country, a region into a cute quirky lil category for you to adopt when actual people who you are attempting to copy from are like what the actual fuck is that… And tbh they all just want to copy Mathilda Djerf or whatever her name is, and thats somehow apparently how all of scandinavians dress. According to the people following these trends this one girl is the one and only representation of Scandinavian fashion and aesthetic. In my experience when people actually came to nordic countries from abroad, a lot of them said they never saw such diversity and subcultures without any prejudice, because over here theres a ton of goths right next to a big group of skateboarders and next to them a woman in a hijab and after her an woman walking past in a dashiki, and thats completely normal. Kids on TikTok think they’re sooo ”scandinavian aesthetic” because they wear a white shirt, blue jeans and they dyed their hair blonde… like for the love of god STOOPP
i recently came out as genderfluid but was born female, and the difference in how i get treated when i’m presenting femininely with makeup than when i’m dressing masc and coming across as a tomboy/butch is insane. pretty privilege is such an interesting term with how it encompasses so many deeper structural issues like patriarchy, racism, ableism, classism and fatphobia.
Same things that any other privilege provides… jobs/economic opportunities, friends, romantic partners, access to better places and spaces, trust, free things, etc.
I suppose an upward trajectory in a field that can centre their looks (social media, modelling, working in sales, pageants, acting, music.) Not to say careers that don’t emphasize looks still have that weird halo effect with new hires. I suppose morale is better for those that are beautiful and work with others. They are treated better or are likely to get tipped or promoted more? We can go back in time into school yard days and remember the dynamic of children being more playful and curious about a more conventionally looking student vs someone who wasn’t and was ignored or teased for a noticeable flaw. More healthy social interaction, more acceptance from the community. Positive comments aimed at their looks validating them and making them less insecure at least on the context of their looks.
I was BFFs with the pretty popular girl in HS. She got free entry into clubs, she would eat for free a lot when we went out, people would simply give her things. There wasn’t a day that went by that she wasn’t offered something. She was every teachers pet ( the girl was smart though. Class valedictorian). I’m not saying regular people can’t get those things. But beautiful people get it without lifting a finger. Just because they look good.
I don't like to say this but the real truth in reality is not every woman or young girl in her late teens has the so-called 'pretty privilege ' or another term the halo effect. A lot has to do with genetics, lifestyles, etc. But still, not every person is born with what society calls the standard conventional beauty, or some people call it objectively beautiful. And this includes men too. Youth is short lived, only a decade 20-30. It's sad that american society consider anyone over 30 is old but it's what it is. Most people from what I see ate normal average attractive and that's pretty enough for me. I also don't like the rating system for women and men ranking numbers from 1-10 in looks, it's awful and dehumanizing. I don't believe in the rating system, in my book there's no tens, sorry but some people would call a woman a perfect ten, while others would call her or him an average 4 or 5 mid range. It seems to me the beauty standards are treated more like an object to behold, there's no humanity in it. The best way to navigate in this cruel world of beauty standards, is to ignore it and take care of our health, and to not mentally stress over this so called pretty privilege and the expected beauty standards.
I feel like fannita put pretty privilege and skinny privilege in the same category and it isn’t. I think she looks good, she looks like a nice average woman with a great figure, but the reality is that for most people she isn’t necessarily pretty, at least not pretty enough to get privilege. Lore Harvey is super pretty, even if she doesn’t get the yt privilege, everyone can see that she is beautiful. Fannita is not on that level of pretty according to society
But why beauty should matter so much. People who are valuable to me will appreciate me nonetheless even if I look bad. The bad ones will eventually bail…I don’t want a thousand fake friends who are secretly hoping for me to fail.
Favourite Video In A Long Time Wow. Everything Feels More Real Yet It Feels More Unreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Feel A Shift IN THE EARTH'S ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR IS IT JUST ME OR IS IT JUST MY OWN ENERGY???!!!!! The AIR FEEELS LIGHTER AROUND ME, IT FEELS LIKE I'M BREATHING FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a black man, i was always more accepted at first by non black women. Only the top 20 percent of black women actually thought of me as fine, handsome or sexy, once i was called beautiful. 80% of non black women found me has hot, sexy and attractive, good looking. I use to feel pretty girls were being nice to me because 80% of black girls called me" you ugly" you think you all that. You look conceited.". I never had a Asian, white or Hispanic gorl call me ugly ever. This made me question when the gorgeous girls would attempt to approach me snd try to get me to date them. I feared it was a trap. Because how could the finest black girls in school like me when no other sistas do. I always tried to approach average looking black girls. Always rejected or friend zone. I just started to feel like maybe im not meant to date black girls. Eventually i leveled down. An started to attract just as many black girls as non black ones. I had to become a thug and a playa before black girls started liking me. But just being myself it was mostly Asian abd white girls who approached me and chase me like every day. I did date black girls. But the ones i dated then approach me first. They were all 9/10s or 10s. With self esteem i would never approach them. But they got me from persistent
About the tiktok saying they are praising europeanness, maybe it would make sense to make a distinction. Eastern Europeans are mainly blonde and fair skinned, but that’s not the case at all for West Europeans. I am Portuguese and I can tell you from personal experience that I’m not considered white in Poland, for example, they made sure I understood that.
There’s this amazing book called the body keeps the score that is such a wonderful understanding of the happiness that can come with just living in your body I’d highly recommend a read
It’s true being pretty helps and makes life easier, but then I realized I’m not pretty enough to marry rich or make money off my looks so I don’t really stress about it anymore LOL. If I was, I probably wouldn’t have gone to grad school. There are mini influencers who make enough to pay rent and vacation. Now if being pretty if your livelihood, then I totally get it
There's a drastic difference between glamour vs pretty. A lot of these girls are glamorous but average in looks. Pretty girls are rare out every 100 women maybe only 10 are actually pretty.
What does being pretty or not being pretty even mean? Beauty standards don't define beauty and i wish it didn't exist. So many beautiful people feeling like they need to "fix" themselves because society tells us we need to look a certain way and only then we can be happy with ourselves.. The beauty industry feeds on our insecurities!!
I don’t think I really thought about pretty privilege unless I was with my two best friends who were exceptionally pretty and I would notice how people treat them differently than me. One was white and literally (all) boys/men liked her and one was mixed and many boys/men wanted her and women idolized them and I was never really jealous, but I didn’t like the difference in the way I was treated than them, by people in general in public. So I guess I am saying I understand the nuance you are talking about with pretty privilege.
Pretty privilege exist I was shocked when I was younger why no one checked Ariana grande when she liked the cup cakes that was displayed for people to buy, watching society from that perspective is when I knew the halo affect the money effect works the society sad but true
Lmfaooooo you just gone lie on the internet like dat everyone checked Ariana for the do not licking incident the only people defending her were her fans
It doesn't even matter if you're pretty!!!! My ex is literally dating someone WITH MY NAME because I have to much baggage and I'm emotionally unstable but he still wants me
Bella Hadids nose job will forever make me sad the one feature she had representing her middle eastern ancestry fine because her white mother was obsessed with European beauty standards
The first thing I thought when I saw you is she’s stunning!!! I grew up in a white area and I had a different experience. White boys were attracted to me, I just didn’t recognize it and had undiagnosed mental illness.
The only clip I saw of Fannita was her saying that not everyone was attractive. That was wild to me 😂 who I think is attractive could be unattractive to someone else. Beauty is quite subjective. I don’t follow or watch influencers because they all have the same personality or look regardless of their skin tone. It’s just sad that people think they can go online and say whatever and think there are no consequences. Fannita seems like a very insecure person who’s projecting on the internet. I don’t think someone is pretty just because they are thin. If you have a shit personality then you are ugly in my eyes regardless of how many people think you are pretty.
The only thing is I don’t think pretty privilege means you can be nasty/rude to people. Like no matter how “pretty” you are I don’t think it’s fine for you to have a rude attitude…
That’s something that should be true but it doesn’t work all the time for the most part the nastiest people I know definitely while I was in school were the conventionally “hot” girls even if it wasn’t directly rude they could get away with offhand comments with a giggle
3:34 Early in the video but then how do you think it's a myth? Not only do we have anecdotal evidence, but science proves it. Depending on where you are, it will differ, as standards of beauties are different all over the world, and since I think you are an American like me, it even differs among the states and even within those states. Of course other things come into this, like how we are socialized to have racial biases, ageism, albeism, classism, and biases in general but that doesn't mean that pretty privilege is a myth. Edit: the later parts you say, about how it is harder for black women. I feel like solidify this point even more. Especially since in america, and the Western world, anti-blackness is so embedded into our beauty standards. Which just shows me that it's even worse, because these people don't view these people as actually pretty. Even if they do like the girl you showed previously who had lost weight, they still hold her to a higher standard. Where she has to be even prettier, to be able to deflect criticism. Which is ridiculous. She's just living as herself it seems.
I don’t think pretty privilege is a myth in and of itself. I believe that there is a myth that anyone can attain it. Like you stated, due to racial bias etc. Most women won’t attain it even if they are gorgeous. Which I don’t think people talk about.
So for example I have been making content on & off for almost ten years. I have less than 500 followers. Being pretty just makes people want more & more & more & more from you to prove you’re good enough when someone less attractive would be accepted w just one skill
Unrelated to the main topic, but you mentioned the Halo effect and the horn effect, I was wondering if the horn effect is the same as "the forked tail" effect? Or if it's just another name for it, as that was the one I was taught when learning about these two :) thanks! Edit: okay, yeah I'm pretty sure it 😂 honestly "horn" makes more sense. But I wonder if the other name formed because horn has multiple meanings 🤔 or if they formed the other way around
You literally have pretty privledge alot of women just say we shouldn't chase pretty privilege so they can have less competition and stay on their pedestal
I don’t think that’s the reason. People are either pretty or not, chasing after something that doesn’t come naturally seems like a hassle. Most people look average anyway, so they’ll be fine.
This topic irritates me. Just bc you’re pretty doesn’t mean you’re nice to be around. If you pursue it you won’t get it but if you’re giving love then you will get it no matter what. Does that make sense?
I pray for the day society will just appreciate people for who they are as well as themselves. Everyone will be beautiful in their own ways. I’m happy to see more people talking about this but I’m not sure if it’s even possible for us to break down beauty standards
I want to say I don’t know if beauty standards are the biggest problem. I used to be very insecure but then I realise I had body dysmorphia, so now I can tell I’m beautiful and many ppl think that way but I’m not treated nice by everyone. Especially by some teachers, I can sense they are harder on me and they talk to me as if I’m dumb and I hate it! And I know it bc when I had communication with them via email they praised me and congratulate me but when they meet me in person they started to act mean and rude
I think pretty privilege distracts the conversation from the science behind it, which is about the fact that people will subconsciously treat other people better when they find them attractive, more odten than not. Of course it's systemic, but applying and using only the word privilege to that psychological phenomenon makes it seem like it can't possibly be true because there are also drawbacks to being cute, pretty, beautiful, handsome, sexy, etc. But that is not the point, the point is that this is a real thing that happens and people of course will chase that, and people who have it will always understand what ups and down there are to it. As someone who has been on both ends of the spectrum bc of weight loss... it's devastatingly real, it's almost impossible not to notice.
“Pretty” privilege doesn’t benefit you at all, it makes you more subject to sexualization and harassment. People think you owe them a conversation and your time. You’re supposed to always be put together, happy, and ready for anything.
listen, hear me out but i love wrinkles. I love smile lines. It shows the wisdom someone must have obtained in their life and how lucky they are to BE alive. I have smile lines and i love it. It's cute. Aging is beauiful.
"White-ness" and "white features" are upheld in America because this country was founded by Europeans. Bella Hadid, as well as being Dutch, is half Palestinian. She is 'white-passing' which is a thing in it of itself; although people will still condemn her for passing as white even though she is mixed race. I agree with much of what you've brought up, but you need to consider the actual geographical/cultural context of the beauty standard(s) as far as how minorities, within those countries, are treated.
@@Nebula_CoffeeI’m Palestinian and there are white, black, brown Palestinians. Bella hadids dad is an Arab, white, palestanian she has some Arab features but completely erased it by plastic surgery. She is a white Arab yes Arabs can be white but the west does not see Arabs as white no matter how they look I am a Brown Palestinian, Arab idk why people don’t know the difference between nationality, race and ethnicity
Years ago, someone told me that no matter how attractive someone is, there is somebody, somewhere that's sick of their bs. I never forgot that.
You can only feel good about yourself if you imagine -better- prettier people being hated 😅
Wooooof maybe just work on existing without this weird insecurity, your compass is broken
Pretty privilege is such a drastic example of people being chronically online. Beauty is only that important when watching people in a screen go viral for lip syncing. All the pretty girls o knew irl were as miserable as the rest of us
I mean, it definitely exists, but your take is completely right. If you're not on Tiktok, most of this angst about aesthetics and stuff isn't even much of a thing!
Yes and no- it's still on tv, billboards, and the projection from other people. Bringing this up just to remind us that this issue existed before current times. But tiktok definitely made it so much worse
It’s the last sentence for me… pretty girls are just as sad as others
Nah, I’m a dude and my life has been easy mode and I’m like a 6.5 😂
They might be miserable but they will get more opportunities in life than you will, just a fact.
Pretty privilege in person manifests when people are more inclined to hold the door open for you, stay out of your path while walking, and generally just being more considerate to you when they’d be indifferent or even rude to people who they don’t see as attractive. Usually this is all subconscious biases playing out and don’t make the hugest differences on your life like pretty privilege allows on Tiktok, but I’d say it’s still prevalent in person
I love the quote of “ I think you all might be thinking about yourselves too much” very true but inevitable.
it’s not inevitable lol
We are literally out here dying to be perfect and it doesn’t exist 😢
Amen! Beauty is subjective!!!
So I’m a dark skinned black woman with a BIGGG afro, a hourglass body (I’m 5’10 and 180 lbs), and I attend a well-known PWI. I was always taught to speak properly and be intelligent by my father and taught to act feminine and be humble by my mother, who are both white. I also love mainstream pop from the 2010s, romance movies, hiking, and gardening. Growing up, people called me many things:
“Whitewashed.”
“Oreo.”
“Candace Owens wannabe.”
These are from other black peers who have their own perception of me. Because I hold pretty privilege and because I am kind to others, many people see me as a dark-skinned Regina George. But here’s the kicker, I have met white adults who tell me along the lines of,
“Oh, you’re so well spoken! See, you’re one of the good ones. Dressed well, act right, I wish they’re more like you.”
Pretty privilege exists, but for black women it can be a double edged sword. Thank you for speaking on this topic.
"Candace Owens wannabe"...
Yep
Be for real. I bet you talk out of your nose and think you sound "proper". Proper English doesn't even exist.
Stop pretending like black and white people don't have different dialect.
Stop trying to be victim.
Maya Angelou was very well spoken and still sounded like a black woman.
I’m a black girl adopted by a white mom. I definitely went through the same stuff. 😢
Candace is neither pretty, elegant, kind or in touch with her blackness. That's such a loaded insult.
Using the opportunity to be early here to share info i learnt in art history in uni :
1. Cellulite was invented as a problem by a dude who wanted to sell cream to women.
2. It is visible on statues. Why ? Because it was once sexy as hell. And by that, i purposely mean : it was one of the most characteristical traits of an ADULT woman's body.
3. It also is visible on paintings.
Maybe not the classical type, since the point was to smooth everything and represent gods, as close as humans were able to semi-perci e them, but still.
Ex : check out realism's precurssor who gave a middle finger to classics and built his own movment through the influence he left in art : Gustave Courbet (France).
5. Hips. And hip-dips.
Once again, look at art. LOOK AT APHRODITE SCULPTURES AND PAINTINGS. Look at "La source" from Courbet (yeah, i like this dude's vibe).
We always forget that what we're surrounded by is idealized. May that be ancient art from around the Mediterranean sea, or photoshoped advertisment. These people's jobs are to make realistic things look unberably (?) pretty.
And yet :
6. Look around. How many people you'd never see on catwalks are happy and pretty ? Or beautiful ? Or anything ? How many have the same face, or body ? Do you see people you admire with your body shape, that seem confident as hell ? Why not fake it until you feel like you make it, at least once a month ?
What, and who makes you feel ugly ? Where does it come from ? Is it justified ? Does it actually have anything to do with you at all, or is it projection ?
Do you know what creates that bump, curve, spot or whatever in X place of your body that you dislike ? Is it a muscle ? Why is it there ?
Last thing : i can garantee you you'd be fun to draw for a few people, and maybe, maybe, you'd love a book character if it looked like you ♡
F beauty norms, make your own.
They just keep changing anyways, and our bodies know better.
Love this, very great information. Thank you 🌸
I love this!!
Yeah but the reason big women were attractive back then was for birthing reasons and association with wealth. Both of those things are different now. Poverty is now associated with overweight people and birthing kids is not as difficult or important
@@FencingMessiah but pretty much every adult woman who’s not visibly underweight has cellulite to some extent. Serena Williams has cellulite, despite being one of the most successful female athletes and buff as heck
@@_kaleido Serena Williams is successful for athletic reasons she's not an heiress or model. She built that herself by putting her body on the line so she's not held up as great because she's gorgeous but because of what she accomplished coming from where she came from. What everyone mostly has is not necessarily attractive sometimes rarity is attractive like with eye color, breast size, butt size, above average penis ect.
the thing with “pretty privilege” is that it’s fleeting. aging comes for us all, and when you’re no longer the 20-something “hot young thing”, your pretty privilege starts to disappear. it truly is a pointless endeavor
I’m 45 and every photo on my page is from 2024. I’ve been married for 13 years… the privilege I get in my professional setting and out in the world just keeps increasing. It’s actually surprising that at this age I’m still benefiting more than ever
@@6ftNaturalBeauty at the end of the day, youth will always be valued over everything. people will always value a woman in her early twenties over a middle aged woman. that’s my point. also, you got married when you were young. it’s a lot harder to date when you’re considered “past your prime” as a woman
@@coolchameleon21you’re a loser
@@coolchameleon21...except that I'm 46 and completely agree with the first commenter. 🤷🏾♀️ I've always been a beautiful woman, but now...babyyyy. LOL. The amount and quality of the perks I get now are staggering. Plus, some of the connections and relationships from my past, many of which have been augmented by more wisdom and maturity, are now bearing amazing fruit.
Also...a lot of us don't age like milk, especially if you're melanated. There are older women who have pretty privilege too, well into their senior years. I don't know why you'd think there's not, unless you give credence to these silly dudes out here talking sh!t on a mic. Older folks have s*x, date, and flirt, too. It's just that the privilege turns more into a show of respect and deference rather than catcalls (still happens 😩🙄) and getting invited into the VIP (happened last time I went to a club for a show...I was 42).
Soooo, yeah. We don't up and turn into dust at 30. That's actually a really ageist take, and you should rethink it.
Oh, and I've had NO problems getting a date. They're handsome, younger men who are successful and intelligent. However, my heart belongs to my first love and I'm pretty sure I'm about to start the greatest love story of my life with him. We're good here in 40+ Island!
@@6ftNaturalBeautyI LOVE this for you, sis. Keep thriving.
the way i was treated 80lbs over weight and 80lbs less is day and night 😂
Maybe I’m just ugly but I’ve gained around 80lbs in the last 4 years and I feel like I haven’t noticed much of a difference on how people treat me.
@@lovelyann2076Do people typically not treat you well? (I promise I’m not meaning this to be offensive, just trying to understand)
I’ve noticed when people lose weight. They personally FEEL better so they become a lot warmer in vibes and that’s why ppl may treat them better. If you feel better it’s usually infectious and others will feel better around you as well.
I dont think pretty privilege is fake but its not a constructive label to change the bigger underlying issues of racism, ableism and classism
This right here!!!
Maybe she assumed too much that losing weight equates to being pretty. Maybe she relied too heavily on the idea that simply losing weight would put her into a pretty privileged category?: maybe she confused thin privilege with pretty privilege
She did.
I have dark circles under my eyes . It is genetics. But I got called raccoon all my life. And I was thought why is it okay for a raccoon to have it but not me😂😂.
same, i genetically cant get rid of them. in elementary school people asked of i got punched in the eye…. its so annoying
Me toooo
Raccoons are beautiful as are you ♥️
Me too, but past elementary/middle school, it was absolutely never thought of again...🤷🏾♀️
I think because I decided it wasn't going to define me it never did again..😊
This made me chuckle irl. I hope you’re having a good day Rosa perks
I'm sorry, but many of the people complaining about the bad side of being pretty would never choose to be ugly if they could because,even with the disadvantages being pretty is better than being ugly
Preach
I agree. Not discounting other ppl's experiences, but on a pretty person's worst day, they would not want to be ugly. Point blank period.
Also the disadvantages of pretty privilege in reality is just basic misogyny
I didn't even know my femininity was taught so when I lost it from abusive experiences and noticed how my outward appearances was jarring to people when I showed my internal self that's when I realized beauty isn't everything. It's the whole performance, skinny, pretty, white as possible, young as possible and that means in appearance, attitude, interests, expression, facial posturing.
It's bs.
God Bless❤️✝️🙏
@@Okklol529 Thank you Love , you too💕
no it's real. people were way nicer to me when i was skinny and hot. try gaining 100lbs, you'll find out.
Yes we are turned off by women over 150lbs.. we will sleep with them but that's not what we really like
Skinny and pretty aren’t synonyms
@@Sinthecity actually it is. The prettiest women are skinny.
Like in early 2000
Stacey Dash
Halle Berry
Vanessa Williams
Cassie
Mya
Toni Braxton
Before that
Dorothy dandridge
Josephine Baker
All were considered dymes and all were skinny.
Pretty girls are skinny.
Curvy girls are just called Thick
Being Thick is second best to being skinny and pretty.
I agree with that. A lot of the “pretty” privilege comes with the body it carries. Slimmer women have an easier time being considered pretty.
@@nemicouture in my life I never heard any other men call over weight women dymes or baddies
I absolutely fw your hair
Thank you 😊
Pretty can also mean you get treated badly by both men and women. Jealous friends that want to see you fail, Guys that want to date you but also insecure dating a woman that other men find attractive. Some people assume you will reject them so don't approach you or think you didn't need to develop a personality. Men on first dates have said they would find me to intimidating to approach in a bar and you get guys that deliberately ignore you so you don't think your all that. Sometimes id like to be invisible, I dressed down for years to avoid men looking at me. I think if you are naturally pretty then you are blessed especially if white. But still inner beauty really does win, Personality and kindness should be valued above the outer cover because nobody will stick around a pretty person eho is ugly inside and empty.
Funny how you mention that. I also had an experience on the first date where a guy who was quite handsome, charming, and seemed very sure of himself admitted that if it weren’t for the app we met on, he’d be to scared to approach me first due to fear of rejection. Which surprised me because I was extremely nervous and jittery the whole time (mostly because it was my first date with anyone) and he had picked up on that but still felt nervous because of my looks. And another poor guy I went out with was being heckled by some passerby’s who didn’t think he was attractive enough to be on a date with me.
And usually i get along with women and they generally don’t have an issue with me when they realize I’m open hearted. But the ones who did have an issue with me were either white women who couldn’t stand a WOC being a threat to their confidence or other WOC (especially those with lighter skin or white passing features) who internalized being unattractive due to being WOC yet saw me (someone with brown/tan skin and ethnic features no less) doing well in life.
@@alyssapinon9670 i knew white girls in high school who were the same way. i think maybe it has something to due with how when some white people take things from us they’re able to just run with it. but then seeing a woc living her best life with what’s always been hers naturally probably pisses them off lol. we always want what we don’t have:(
@@alyssapinon9670 i knew white girls in high school who were the same way. i think maybe it has something to due with how when some white people take things from us they’re able to just run with it. but then seeing a woc living her best life with what’s always been hers naturally probably pisses them off lol. we always want what we don’t have:(
To fannita nevered changed only physically. it's just that when you have pretty privileged you walk on a tight rope of what you can and can't say. When you're overweight people allow you to be mean/funny out of pity.
This is true.
Agreed. It's not "fat privilege." It's people pitying them.
@@beautyininsanity421well it’s some level of privileged cause you can’t get away things that a pretty person can’t. Privilege isn’t always for the elite.
Trust me, if you are “pretty” or naturally gorgeous or beautiful, you will not have to “chase” anything. You wake up, splash water on your face, shake your hair out… walk out the door and have the benefits work in your favor
Exactly 💯
Amennnn ❤🎉
The benefits And the costs.
I have female friends that run from average cute to outright 10s.
Many of the 8s, 9s, and 10s have a Lot of problems that many women who are jealous of them don't think about.
It goes beyond bitter, envious women that make it very hard to find friends that aren't cheering for you to succeed and aren't secret haters trying to destroy them.
They All have these problems to an insane degree And having to deal with not being taken seriously, being stalked and put on weird pedestals they never asked for, having female bosses purposely trying to screw you over and male bosses saying insane things to you, having random people touching you, and reacting to you in extreme ways regardless how nice you're trying to be in telling people you're not interested.
And that's just Level One, ground floor stuff.
A couple of the 9s and 10s actually have to act dumb to give others a little peace in being in their presence and the meanness they come up with to get over the fact that they can Stop Construction and Traffic just going to get coffee.
These aren't all White women. They're Black, Latina, Asian and Mixed.
They may see some privilege. But they see so much craziness that can often turn into Dangerous situations others just can't fathom
@@LA_HAyet I have never heard a beautiful woman say, they wished they were ugly so that they didn't have to go through any of that
@@purplelove3666 Whaddya, crazy? haha.
No, of course not. Who would.
I'm just saying that privileges comes with sacrifice and it's not all happiness and fun with people just praising your beauty.
That's all.
And to add to what you said, average and unattractive people wouldn't care about the downsides to be beautiful either
As the stereotype “pretty light skin woman”. ive had more opportunities through life due to how I look but I’m still the single friend out of my group. When I tell people I’ve never dated b4 its always a shock. My guy friends tell me that since I have pretty privilege a man’s first thought of me “shes definitely taken” or “she gets hit on almost everyday. Why bother” that being said, guys are intimidated by me or don’t want to bother with someone who’s that pretty or makes them feel like a 5 not a 10🤷🏽♀️
Omg I could’ve written this myself. I def benefit from colorism esp in the black community but also just in general. But I’ve been single my whole life and never get hit on. I’m sure my RBF doesn’t help the angry black girl stereotype either
I've had the exact same experience. My dating life only exists because I walk up to men and make it known I'm interested, tell them we should hang out, etc. I'm currently on a "cleanse" from approaching/seeking out men and my dating life has grinded to a halt. I'm the only one out of my group of non-Black friends I grew up with that isn't married with kids. Pretty privilege is truly a blessing and a curse.
It was like this for me too but mostly because I was a neurodivergent
So…..
Let me preface by saying that dating a man ain’t all that (I’ve been single since birth, so take that quote as you will, lol).
Now, back to the content of my response: I have a friend who is tall, thin and well shaped in all the right places, and is just GORGEOUS (model-esque beautiful). She’s also very dark skinned. She gets hit on ALL the time. So, I never understood the concept of men being scared, because, baby, I’ll tell you right now, they’re not scared of her. I’ve seen it. Beautiful women are pursued. She’s beautiful outside and inside, too. She’s such a prize and it’s sad she keeps on choosing losers to be with when she has it all.
This was a great video. I would love to see your take on the looksmaxxing movement that has taken off with red pillers and incels. It is horrifying to go through the comment section. They too are obsessed with changing their looks but their motivations seem to be driven by eugenics. Knowing boys men are staring into the screens at PLS gods is disturbing. They are looking at jawlines like young women used to compare and critique thin models in magazines.
Well it’s about time , woman have been going through it for generations. So it’s males turn to finally understand how trying to fit the aesthetic for the male gaze has lead to many young woman to older adults self hating and not feeling good enough . And man continue to drive thst by consistently tell women you are done at age 25 . Misogyny hurts right ?
@@Goddess_Infinity I am a woman. The comments on those videos are terrifying. They are all very eugenics coded. They also still manage to blame women.
@@Goddess_InfinityExactly. Men have entered the chat and deny the points being made
@@Goddess_InfinityI understand where you’re coming from, but the promotion of looksmaxxing isn’t gonna solve anything either, bc its the same side of the coin, still promoting misogyny but also hurting innocent men. I remember I joined a looksmaxxing group chat because I thought it was just ways to “improve your looks” and ended up shaming myself into an eating disorder where I was even using substances (mainly nicotine, cannabis, and alcohol) at one point to not feel hungry. Those groups also promote only seeing women as objects to be pursued rather than people, and that not having your feeling reciprocated by a woman is an automatic self-failure rather than just by chance. Also this is on the assumption that every man is into women, which in and of itself opens discussion about society’s heteronormativity, but I digress. Looksmaxxing is just as bad as the “pretty privilege” movement imo.
@@Goddess_Infinity It is an based in the the eugenics movements and the language of that movement. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of men holding other men to the standards they have applied to women since the beginning of time. However this is weird and reinforcing racist views of how the world should look. One guy posted a Na. Z. I. Youth poster he found and marked up the face to show the measurements of a perfect face. It is the association of looks to race to worth.
Also they are not being any nicer to women. Once again it is a reinforcement that a woman’s value lies in her looks and reproductive value all while using pseudoscientific from racists to back their beliefs.
What I always try to remember is that some people will find me attractive and some people won’t and that is completely okay. Like not everyone that meets me is going to like me and the same applies to me when I meet certain people and THATS OKAY. This was also helped by me getting off the social media and just thinking my own thoughts lol
As a conventionally attractive white woman it’s still a double edged sword if you don’t fit in with the standards to a t. I have ADHD (diagnosed) and probably some other neurodivergency (undiagnosed as of yet) so I speak in a very monotone voice naturally and have a flat affect. It’s extremely jarring for people and I really do my best to be animated and engaging, but there’s times where I really can’t hold it back and it has bitten me in the butt a number of times. People want to be my friend or approach me for opportunities which is amazing but often times they feel shut down by my demeanor and I experience really nasty consequences for that from both men and women, possibly worse than if I never would have been approached at all. I would never compare my experiences to WOC, of course. I probably get away with coming off mean more than a more marginalized person. But I also think the entire concept of pretty privilege is really mind bending because it definitely does have advantages but it also can have some pretty heavy consequences as well. I really question if it’s real or it’s just another example of racism and benevolent sexism. Or perhaps the consequences are just plain misogyny since men can also have pretty privilege, but I wouldn’t have been put in those situations without being pretty so it’s just honestly a bit confusing to place as a privilege which is separate from race, gender, sexuality, ability, and any other intersectionalities.
I came here to write something like this but you worded it more eloquently than I could. People love the idea of being around us then pull a 180 when they realize we’re weird. I feel like women are far less accepting than men, though.
EDIT: also I had a period of time where I had no idea I was attractive because women are so mean. Like I would be genuinely confused when I got male attention lol.
Exactly my experience. If you don't fit NT expectations of behavior based on how you look they will reject you.
try being ugly, overweight, AND autistic. i get treated like i’m not even human
I was kinda wary of this video because of the title but it was actually really nuanced and well-made, you gave me stuff to think about!
One of the things that this video highlights for me is that if you are woman you just can't win and it sucks. And yes, especially women of color... Skinny women are mean and fat women are sad is a tired philosophy for all of us and I'm sick of it.
TLDR: People hate pretty people but like the advantages they can get from being around someone who is or by having it. Most people are only seeking to gain from them. People don’t take unconventionally attractive people seriously and give leniency to their behaviors as well. Society is confusing and weird and whiteness and skinniness is glorified to the max economically and socially. Pretty people tend to be praised for their ability to produce “healthy children” and tend to be over sexualized from a young age and at the same time people are only around you for the benefits of attention for being seen with you not necessarily for who you actually are. Unconventionally attractive women are avoided and people feel bad for them so they flood them with compliments but since they don’t get the benefit of attention they’re expected to be smart or funny or athletic or something else.
In the broader view the beauty industry is lucrative. It’s always been lucrative to sell to black overweight women especially since it’s so deviant from the norm of whiteness. You’re not actually ugly just broke bcs of classism.
Yes this is the point summed up
This isn't true. While there's a degree of jealousy beautiful ppl are looked up to by other as smarter and more capable via the halo effect. People also feel more of a need to help them and provide them with opportunities
I've been pretty close to the white beauty standard my whole life. People will still find something to pick on you for. For me, it was my weight. I wasn't fat as a kid, but I wasn't stick thin either. I didn't realize I wasn't fat until I actually became fat. People are also more likely to want to tear you down more because they're jealous. Pretty privilege does exist but it isn't all sunshine and roses.
Who cares about beauty? It doesn’t last forever no matter how much work you get. Taking care of your body will get you better results. And the most important qualities once beauty is gone is your heart, your personality, and your marketable skills and knowledge. Those last forever and yet so many people choose to only invest in marketing their beauty instead because they’re duped by the media to glorify superficiality and appearances.
I’ve had pretty privilege most of my life, and I really wish people realised it’s just social credit that you are fully expected to repay. You have to be pretty at all times or you’ll be looked down on for letting yourself go. You have to be nice to everyone who ‘compliments’ you regardless of what they said or what they want from you. No matter how smart, educated, degreed, or qualified you are, people will subtract iq points from you. If you ever dare feel good about yourself, you’re vapid and shallow. People feel very entitled to your time, to touching you , and god forbid you set a boundary
I think that some things will be kinda more socially acceptable when someone is attractive. But yeah, if it’s like a job interview, they are (hopefully) going to hire the most qualified, not the most attractive.
Edit: y’all do know that I said “hopefully” when talking about job interviews right? Obviously some businesses are going to hire using pretty privilege, but HOPEFULLY they don’t
Yeah I agree things will most likely come easier, but it’s nuanced as most things are.
This seems incredibly naive to me. You guys really don't think that, like, being hairy as a woman, and having bad skin, and a lazy eye and f'd up teeth hurt your chances in a job interview? What do you guys think people mean when they say that pretty people have privilege? It's not that it's impossible to get a job if you aren't conventionally attractive, but it 1000% is being weighed during an interview. If you're up against someone equally qualified to you and they're gorgeous and you're ugly, the pretty person is getting it. That's reality, man.
As someone who wants to go into child education, pretty privilege is at work not just in the hiring process (since they think an attractive person is more competent and trustworthy with children) but in the way children interact with you. Kids internalize that beauty = virtue from a young age (look at Disney movies for example). And yeah, most kids aren’t going to like a pretty teacher who is mean to them. But there is more excitement and maybe trust when a teacher is kind and attractive than if a teacher is kind and unattractive.
So your take is that those things only effect your chances at a minority of jobs, then? Because that also is self evidently not true. Being hairy as a woman, and having a lazy eye, and f'd up teeth, and bad skin, are going to effect your chances at getting pretty much ANY job. It's not as if it's just shallow places like Hooters who care about these things. It's just that for most people these are unconscious, implicit biases, rather than explicit hiring requirements. This privilege, or lacking this privilege, effects nearly every facet of one's life in our modern society. If you don't see it, it's likely because you have it - just like every other privilege.
Most of us just want to get through life with as few hassles as possible. As a 53 y/o woman who fits the attractiveness standard but wasn’t 10, I’m just now realizing that I had it made.
I had my morsel of privileges-enough to slide by. I was never bullied for any reason having to do with my looks-either for jealousy because I looked too good or ugliness.
My looks helped me but I couldn’t exactly coast through life on them. I used to roll my eyes at beautiful women who complained that their looks were a curse. I would think Now if I enjoyed the privileges that came with my above average looks, surely you had a golden ticket being drop dead gorgeous. Now I see it. Too much of a good thing can bite you.
Pretty privilege def does "work in your favor" depending on the community. For so much of my life I thought I was unattractive. I was a tall black girl in a snooty PWI in manhattan. It wasn't until my freshman year of college that I started getting approached and told I was pretty. Granted, my school is still a PWI but with a very large black student body. I also lowkey glew up a bit by my senior year of high school lol. I was now being told that I look like a model, asking if I was a model, or if I would consider it. I am model tall and model skinny with some curve in the back (can thank my jamaican genes lol) and it didn't really dawn on me until others pointed it out that I am to an extent conventionally attractive. The downside to this realization tho was my newfound hyperfixation of always needing to look good, or wondering if I looked pretty enough. I was becoming obsessed with attention, these positive new benefits (free food, drinks, or other treatment), and finally being "one of the pretty girls." If anything at some point I had a more negative self-perception, but my ego boosted insanely from all this new attention and drove my arrogant behavior. Almost 2 years later I've found more confidence and beauty within myself through my own appreciation. Pretty privilege may exist, but let's not allow it to drive our behavior or how we feel about ourselves.
As a successful, secure man the prettiest thing a woman can wear is a smile. Charm and kindness gets you far.
Great video! A lot of good points and prospective. I’ve been made fun of for my nose and hips most of my life. I’m 34 now and still get comments on my nose from people online. It big, crooked, and has a bump. I consider a nose job some days still. But I chose years ago not to get one because I was afraid I’d miss my natural nose.
At this point in my life I try my best just to be myself and accept how I look. I know I’m not conventionally attractive but I like how I look.
your skin is glowing tinsey!!
being skinny doesn't equal a privilege for people with health problems
Pretty privilege is bs or maybe i am just not pretty enough. Yes, it gets you some things once in a while but the amount of men hitting on you (bosses, strangers, friends etc) are making it a "pretty danger" more so then a plus.
The backstabbing from jealous women doesn’t help either
That happens regardless if you’re pretty or ugly. If you own a vulva and labia and present as a woman, men will target you and make your life a living hell.
I’m an olive-skinned Mediterranean with dark features. Depending on the season I’m cappuccino color or a very dark bronze. I’m unambiguously European. I’ve been mistaken for Colombian, Middle eastern and Brazilian. I get pretty privileges from all ethnicity. In the USA, it is predominantly white so it makes sense that those whites uphold Eurocentric beauty standards. When I fly oversees to the motherland, I don’t have the same privileges because although it’s a European nation, they uphold Eastern European beauty standards. They prefer tall, thin blondes with blue or green eyes 🤷🏻♀️
commenting for the algorithm! great video as always 💕
Thank you🌸
What’s your experience being pretty? Of course no need to answer, but it feels a bit like an elephant in the room of this essay.
And it just seems like an interesting thing to explore and discuss out loud, especially because RUclips relies so heavily on Pretty Privilege. Its successful content creators are much prettier on average. And to be honest, the first time I clicked on one of your videos, I probably first thought, “Wow, she’s pretty” then, “Oh and that title is pretty interesting.” (And then the video WAS genuinely thoughtful!) But by putting your face in your thumbnails, it seems to be a subtle acknowledgment that there’s a benefit to showing it. Whereas other less attractive content creators might choose to present their content without their face (or at least their face in the thumbnail). Again, don’t mean to be awkward here, but I just think it could be an interesting addendum to an already interesting essay.
No problem🌸. I grew up in an all white area, so I was never seen as pretty. No one told me I’m pretty (besides family and close friends of course) until I was in college. This is where I was able to be around more black people. That was when I really realized, oh I’m kinda pretty, but even then only to an extent because colorism is a real thing. I acknowledged I am seen as pretty to people of color, but from my experience growing up around white people, I’m aware that I don’t really receive “pretty privilege” from the broader society. So I never had the mindset that my beauty would get me ahead, or provide me with the ability to act however I wanted. Hope that makes sense 🙏🏾
@@tinyseythat makes me sad that you were never seen as pretty growing up. I went through similar things as a kid, and was always viewed as the ugly kid. I know how much that affected me, and I don't mean to assume, but I know stuff like that doesn't feel nice. It's sad to, considering how you legitimately are stunning 🥺
@@tinysey I believe this because you have no reason to lie, but you’re not average pretty. So it’s kinda perplexing to me to actually fathom. Since we’re being honest. But, I get it. I’m black as well and seem biased in my response
@@tinysey Thank you for sharing this. I know that can be hard to express out loud, especially on the internet. And yes, it’s strange how much perceptions of one’s “prettiness” can change from place to place and culture to culture. It’s kind of like exchange rates with money (“My black prettiness ‘dollar’ is worth 70 cents in white prettiness currency”). I had a similar childhood experience to you, and I agree as adults, we tend to still hold onto how pretty we were made to feel when we were young. Anyway, thanks for responding!
I just want to say that your username is pretty brilliant.
Yeah there obsessed with the myth. I think there are models that are not good looking but get modeling jobs. I don’t think its black and white. Also it’s subjective, I can think a model is all that and someone thinks the opposite. Also people are going to have different opportunities that’s life. We all are going have different experiences and be different.
Maybe she was always" off "and nobody noticed in her old body
I learned everyone has their time! The last few years ive gotten the most compliments and good treatment then ive ever had in my life....im in my 30s, my skin suffers less breakouts, ive grown my hair the longest its ever been, i dress how I want, andddd ive accepted my flaws which I think shows.... but the attention shift is crazy! Everyone looks at me even if I was with my ex, i was getting called to the front of lines, and made money streaming just sitting there.... I thank God that it came now instead of the opposite of goong from hot to not bexause I bet thats harder to accept.... once my time is up lol I will manage
Thank you for this video. You can tell so much thought has gone into it. xx💗
You are so welcome!
You are killing it, no doubt you would. You may even follow suit with penguinz0
(Consistency, fanbase, success)
Even taking a note from his book, may give you ideas
Godspeed
!
I love this point of view. While “pretty” is something I’ve always heard, I know that I’m a black woman so I’m pretty to black people but to others I don’t consider it a privilege. Also, consider the amount of sexual assault that “pretty” women endure. Yes, ALL people experience sexual assault. However, for some “pretty” women, it’s so commonplace that no longer becomes a big deal.
the "scandinavia girl aestethic" just feels really iffy to me.. despite us being predominantly white people, we do have people of colour over here too, and they are also just as much a part of the scandinavian culture as anyone in scandinavia.. For people in America or globally, to allude to saying otherwise is only gonna make the people who exclude poc inside of scandinavia feel validated in their believes.
I hate it. Its foreginers fetishizing their personal idea of nordic people. Its literally the same as people thinking South Korean Idols, their music videos and performance outfits are are an accurate representation of South Korean culture/fashion/lifestyle. Its so dumb, it’s so weird, and its honestly very disrespectful to make a culture, a country, a region into a cute quirky lil category for you to adopt when actual people who you are attempting to copy from are like what the actual fuck is that… And tbh they all just want to copy Mathilda Djerf or whatever her name is, and thats somehow apparently how all of scandinavians dress. According to the people following these trends this one girl is the one and only representation of Scandinavian fashion and aesthetic. In my experience when people actually came to nordic countries from abroad, a lot of them said they never saw such diversity and subcultures without any prejudice, because over here theres a ton of goths right next to a big group of skateboarders and next to them a woman in a hijab and after her an woman walking past in a dashiki, and thats completely normal. Kids on TikTok think they’re sooo ”scandinavian aesthetic” because they wear a white shirt, blue jeans and they dyed their hair blonde… like for the love of god STOOPP
i recently came out as genderfluid but was born female, and the difference in how i get treated when i’m presenting femininely with makeup than when i’m dressing masc and coming across as a tomboy/butch is insane. pretty privilege is such an interesting term with how it encompasses so many deeper structural issues like patriarchy, racism, ableism, classism and fatphobia.
Pardon me, did I just learn that the fat acceptance movement was started by a man who was mad about how his wife was treated?
What is the privilege exactly? What do pretty people consistently get that regular people don’t?
Same things that any other privilege provides… jobs/economic opportunities, friends, romantic partners, access to better places and spaces, trust, free things, etc.
I suppose an upward trajectory in a field that can centre their looks (social media, modelling, working in sales, pageants, acting, music.)
Not to say careers that don’t emphasize looks still have that weird halo effect with new hires. I suppose morale is better for those that are beautiful and work with others. They are treated better or are likely to get tipped or promoted more?
We can go back in time into school yard days and remember the dynamic of children being more playful and curious about a more conventionally looking student vs someone who wasn’t and was ignored or teased for a noticeable flaw.
More healthy social interaction, more acceptance from the community. Positive comments aimed at their looks validating them and making them less insecure at least on the context of their looks.
I was BFFs with the pretty popular girl in HS. She got free entry into clubs, she would eat for free a lot when we went out, people would simply give her things. There wasn’t a day that went by that she wasn’t offered something. She was every teachers pet ( the girl was smart though. Class valedictorian). I’m not saying regular people can’t get those things. But beautiful people get it without lifting a finger. Just because they look good.
I don't like to say this but the real truth in reality is not every woman or young girl in her late teens has the so-called 'pretty privilege ' or another term the halo effect. A lot has to do with genetics, lifestyles, etc. But still, not every person is born with what society calls the standard conventional beauty, or some people call it objectively beautiful. And this includes men too. Youth is short lived, only a decade 20-30. It's sad that american society consider anyone over 30 is old but it's what it is. Most people from what I see ate normal average attractive and that's pretty enough for me. I also don't like the rating system for women and men ranking numbers from 1-10 in looks, it's awful and dehumanizing. I don't believe in the rating system, in my book there's no tens, sorry but some people would call a woman a perfect ten, while others would call her or him an average 4 or 5 mid range. It seems to me the beauty standards are treated more like an object to behold, there's no humanity in it. The best way to navigate in this cruel world of beauty standards, is to ignore it and take care of our health, and to not mentally stress over this so called pretty privilege and the expected beauty standards.
I look at being pretty like having money. It doesnt guarantee happiness but it doesnt hurt to have it
I feel like fannita put pretty privilege and skinny privilege in the same category and it isn’t. I think she looks good, she looks like a nice average woman with a great figure, but the reality is that for most people she isn’t necessarily pretty, at least not pretty enough to get privilege. Lore Harvey is super pretty, even if she doesn’t get the yt privilege, everyone can see that she is beautiful. Fannita is not on that level of pretty according to society
But why beauty should matter so much. People who are valuable to me will appreciate me nonetheless even if I look bad. The bad ones will eventually bail…I don’t want a thousand fake friends who are secretly hoping for me to fail.
Favourite Video In A Long Time Wow. Everything Feels More Real Yet It Feels More Unreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Feel A Shift IN THE EARTH'S ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR IS IT JUST ME OR IS IT JUST MY OWN ENERGY???!!!!! The AIR FEEELS LIGHTER AROUND ME, IT FEELS LIKE I'M BREATHING FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subscribed🎉 I’m loving the smaller RUclips channels.
Chic is a French word… sheek
As a black man, i was always more accepted at first by non black women. Only the top 20 percent of black women actually thought of me as fine, handsome or sexy, once i was called beautiful. 80% of non black women found me has hot, sexy and attractive, good looking.
I use to feel pretty girls were being nice to me because 80% of black girls called me" you ugly" you think you all that. You look conceited.". I never had a Asian, white or Hispanic gorl call me ugly ever.
This made me question when the gorgeous girls would attempt to approach me snd try to get me to date them. I feared it was a trap. Because how could the finest black girls in school like me when no other sistas do.
I always tried to approach average looking black girls. Always rejected or friend zone.
I just started to feel like maybe im not meant to date black girls.
Eventually i leveled down. An started to attract just as many black girls as non black ones.
I had to become a thug and a playa before black girls started liking me.
But just being myself it was mostly Asian abd white girls who approached me and chase me like every day.
I did date black girls. But the ones i dated then approach me first. They were all 9/10s or 10s. With self esteem i would never approach them. But they got me from persistent
So who are you dating now
@@Heyitschy03 80% black girls now. But I leveled down to do so
About the tiktok saying they are praising europeanness, maybe it would make sense to make a distinction. Eastern Europeans are mainly blonde and fair skinned, but that’s not the case at all for West Europeans. I am Portuguese and I can tell you from personal experience that I’m not considered white in Poland, for example, they made sure I understood that.
your channel is still underrated (but I don't think for long), I looooove your content and topics
There’s this amazing book called the body keeps the score that is such a wonderful understanding of the happiness that can come with just living in your body I’d highly recommend a read
Is Fannita pretty or just thinner?
It’s true being pretty helps and makes life easier, but then I realized I’m not pretty enough to marry rich or make money off my looks so I don’t really stress about it anymore LOL. If I was, I probably wouldn’t have gone to grad school. There are mini influencers who make enough to pay rent and vacation. Now if being pretty if your livelihood, then I totally get it
These kinds of beauty standards also exist in the muslim community
Omg thank you so much for highlighting my video I love your content! 🥺❤️
@@talkswithjewlz no problem you were speaking facts🌸☺️
There's a drastic difference between glamour vs pretty.
A lot of these girls are glamorous but average in looks.
Pretty girls are rare out every 100 women maybe only 10 are actually pretty.
But then If everyone is working to become above average, that "above average" will become the new average. Then they are still average in the end.
Never heard of Fannita but I hope she gets counseling.
What does being pretty or not being pretty even mean? Beauty standards don't define beauty and i wish it didn't exist. So many beautiful people feeling like they need to "fix" themselves because society tells us we need to look a certain way and only then we can be happy with ourselves..
The beauty industry feeds on our insecurities!!
Thanks, this was so useful💕
I don’t think I really thought about pretty privilege unless I was with my two best friends who were exceptionally pretty and I would notice how people treat them differently than me. One was white and literally (all) boys/men liked her and one was mixed and many boys/men wanted her and women idolized them and I was never really jealous, but I didn’t like the difference in the way I was treated than them, by people in general in public. So I guess I am saying I understand the nuance you are talking about with pretty privilege.
Pretty privilege exist I was shocked when I was younger why no one checked Ariana grande when she liked the cup cakes that was displayed for people to buy, watching society from that perspective is when I knew the halo affect the money effect works the society sad but true
Lmfaooooo you just gone lie on the internet like dat everyone checked Ariana for the do not licking incident the only people defending her were her fans
It doesn't even matter if you're pretty!!!!
My ex is literally dating someone WITH MY NAME because I have to much baggage and I'm emotionally unstable but he still wants me
This was a really good take👍🏾
Bella Hadids nose job will forever make me sad the one feature she had representing her middle eastern ancestry fine because her white mother was obsessed with European beauty standards
This video really made me want to subscribe to her. She made a LOT of good points.
new subscriber cuz of this, literally speaking facts omg
Just subscribed - really happy I found your channel 💗
Thank you🌸 welcome
The first thing I thought when I saw you is she’s stunning!!! I grew up in a white area and I had a different experience. White boys were attracted to me, I just didn’t recognize it and had undiagnosed mental illness.
Pretty privilege is how I got my drivers license. Don’t worry though I’m better at driving now
Wait your locs 😍😍. How’d you get that color?!
I needed to see this ♡
Id never seen her until this video.
I like her. Not a single lie was told. Im not understanding the controversy
The only clip I saw of Fannita was her saying that not everyone was attractive. That was wild to me 😂 who I think is attractive could be unattractive to someone else. Beauty is quite subjective. I don’t follow or watch influencers because they all have the same personality or look regardless of their skin tone. It’s just sad that people think they can go online and say whatever and think there are no consequences. Fannita seems like a very insecure person who’s projecting on the internet. I don’t think someone is pretty just because they are thin. If you have a shit personality then you are ugly in my eyes regardless of how many people think you are pretty.
The only thing is I don’t think pretty privilege means you can be nasty/rude to people. Like no matter how “pretty” you are I don’t think it’s fine for you to have a rude attitude…
That’s something that should be true but it doesn’t work all the time for the most part the nastiest people I know definitely while I was in school were the conventionally “hot” girls even if it wasn’t directly rude they could get away with offhand comments with a giggle
3:34
Early in the video but then how do you think it's a myth? Not only do we have anecdotal evidence, but science proves it. Depending on where you are, it will differ, as standards of beauties are different all over the world, and since I think you are an American like me, it even differs among the states and even within those states.
Of course other things come into this, like how we are socialized to have racial biases, ageism, albeism, classism, and biases in general but that doesn't mean that pretty privilege is a myth.
Edit: the later parts you say, about how it is harder for black women. I feel like solidify this point even more. Especially since in america, and the Western world, anti-blackness is so embedded into our beauty standards. Which just shows me that it's even worse, because these people don't view these people as actually pretty. Even if they do like the girl you showed previously who had lost weight, they still hold her to a higher standard. Where she has to be even prettier, to be able to deflect criticism. Which is ridiculous. She's just living as herself it seems.
I don’t think pretty privilege is a myth in and of itself. I believe that there is a myth that anyone can attain it. Like you stated, due to racial bias etc. Most women won’t attain it even if they are gorgeous. Which I don’t think people talk about.
So for example I have been making content on & off for almost ten years. I have less than 500 followers. Being pretty just makes people want more & more & more & more from you to prove you’re good enough when someone less attractive would be accepted w just one skill
Did anyone else want to literally *crawl* out of their skin at those tiktoks talking about being "soft and feminine"?? Just me?!
Unrelated to the main topic, but you mentioned the Halo effect and the horn effect, I was wondering if the horn effect is the same as "the forked tail" effect? Or if it's just another name for it, as that was the one I was taught when learning about these two :) thanks!
Edit: okay, yeah I'm pretty sure it 😂 honestly "horn" makes more sense. But I wonder if the other name formed because horn has multiple meanings 🤔 or if they formed the other way around
You should always want to be above average
You literally have pretty privledge alot of women just say we shouldn't chase pretty privilege so they can have less competition and stay on their pedestal
I don’t think that’s the reason. People are either pretty or not, chasing after something that doesn’t come naturally seems like a hassle. Most people look average anyway, so they’ll be fine.
This topic irritates me. Just bc you’re pretty doesn’t mean you’re nice to be around. If you pursue it you won’t get it but if you’re giving love then you will get it no matter what. Does that make sense?
U ate this ❤
I pray for the day society will just appreciate people for who they are as well as themselves. Everyone will be beautiful in their own ways. I’m happy to see more people talking about this but I’m not sure if it’s even possible for us to break down beauty standards
Yeah, unfortunately beauty standards won’t go away, but I would love more people to realize the endless effort.
That’s never gonna happen 😂
I want to say I don’t know if beauty standards are the biggest problem. I used to be very insecure but then I realise I had body dysmorphia, so now I can tell I’m beautiful and many ppl think that way but I’m not treated nice by everyone. Especially by some teachers, I can sense they are harder on me and they talk to me as if I’m dumb and I hate it! And I know it bc when I had communication with them via email they praised me and congratulate me but when they meet me in person they started to act mean and rude
It's in our primal nature
I think pretty privilege distracts the conversation from the science behind it, which is about the fact that people will subconsciously treat other people better when they find them attractive, more odten than not. Of course it's systemic, but applying and using only the word privilege to that psychological phenomenon makes it seem like it can't possibly be true because there are also drawbacks to being cute, pretty, beautiful, handsome, sexy, etc. But that is not the point, the point is that this is a real thing that happens and people of course will chase that, and people who have it will always understand what ups and down there are to it. As someone who has been on both ends of the spectrum bc of weight loss... it's devastatingly real, it's almost impossible not to notice.
“Pretty” privilege doesn’t benefit you at all, it makes you more subject to sexualization and harassment. People think you owe them a conversation and your time. You’re supposed to always be put together, happy, and ready for anything.
Fannita is conventionally average. Plus she’s annoying
listen, hear me out but i love wrinkles. I love smile lines. It shows the wisdom someone must have obtained in their life and how lucky they are to BE alive. I have smile lines and i love it. It's cute. Aging is beauiful.
sorry, beautiful
Omg yesss AYANDASTAND BEEN LOOKING FOR HER PAGE
"White-ness" and "white features" are upheld in America because this country was founded by Europeans.
Bella Hadid, as well as being Dutch, is half Palestinian.
She is 'white-passing' which is a thing in it of itself; although people will still condemn her for passing as white even though she is mixed race.
I agree with much of what you've brought up, but you need to consider the actual geographical/cultural context of the beauty standard(s) as far as how minorities, within those countries, are treated.
What makes her mixed race? Or what makes Palestinian people not white?
@@Nebula_CoffeeI’m Palestinian and there are white, black, brown Palestinians. Bella hadids dad is an Arab, white, palestanian she has some Arab features but completely erased it by plastic surgery. She is a white Arab yes Arabs can be white but the west does not see Arabs as white no matter how they look I am a Brown Palestinian, Arab idk why people don’t know the difference between nationality, race and ethnicity
And when people found out she was Palestinian she has and still gets a lot of xenophobia for her identity
Not only America also in Asian and africam countries
People of every generation hates being average its not just gen z....